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153. The Power of Persistence · Your Enriched Self

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Hello friends, I'm so glad you made it for another episode of the ur
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and Ritzal podcast. This is a special episode. This was our very first
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ever livee taping of the Urine Ridsal podcast and it marks our one hundred and
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fifty ath episode. Stay tuned. All the details will be in the show
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notes, and don't forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel for more content,
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not just on the podcast, but other content that I will be putting out
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there. So subscribe, share and like, and of course leave your feedback.
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Feedback is a gift, It's free to give and I look forward to
0:32
it. Enjoy this week's episode of the ur and Resale podcast. I want
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to welcome everyone to my first ever live video here on YouTube. I'm so
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excited to have you all here today with me as we celebrate a huge milestone
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one hundred and fifty episodes of the Urine Ritzel Podcast. It has been an
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incredible journey and I am thrilled to share the special moment with all of you.
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So, whether you are a long time listener or if you're new to
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this community, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for
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your support. Thank you for joining me on this enriching adventure and being on
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this platform. Today's session, we're going to be talking about the power of
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persistence. Now as part of this monumental event, we are doing a few
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first here on the podcast. For one, we're doing a live event.
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We've never done a live event. And secondly, this is our first guest.
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We're having our first guest today, doctor Sarah Mack, and this week,
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in honor of welcoming her to this podcast, I want to share with
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you her background. Doctor Sarah Mack is a licensed psychologist and owner of Perspectives
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and Vidal Magnolia, which is dedicated to closing the mental health gaps and creating
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wellness spaces for healers. Today, doctor Sarah Mack will share her personal story
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of persistence and how she used her hardships as motivation to become the woman that
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she is today. So get ready for this mind blowing session. We will
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have conversation to transform the way you think about being persistent. So I'm gonna
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turn my attention away from me and talk to our wonderful guests. Our very
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first guest of this one hundred and fifty episode of the jur and Yourself Podcast,
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doctor Sarah Maddy, and so welcome to the PLAT. Thank you and
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congratulations. Is this is amazing. I remember when you first started and just
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to think about the steps that you had to take and to get here and
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being part of this production, it really means a lot. So I really
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appreciate you inviting me in and I think great, Yeah, so far it's
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already been great. Yes, it's awesome. So let's talk about first of
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all, what you do every day and this wellness environment. Is this wellness
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space that you've created for healers, that's a really important piece of things.
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Yeah, so just a little bit about me. I love what you talked
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about is just becoming It's been really interesting being a person who is an observer
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kind of a person who's a shy, introverted person, becoming more of a
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license professional, licensed psychologist and really being able to work with families, families
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who've gone through trauma, families who may have concerns related to ADAHD autism,
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but learning more about myself during that entire process and observing myself, observing families,
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being able to support and get into a place of understanding that as healers
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and whatever that means, healers can be parents, they can be children,
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can be healers. There's so many different types of individuals who pour into others.
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And being a licensed clinical psychologist recognizing that we sometimes need healing ourselves and
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going through my process has kind of led me to this place to become more
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aware of what do we need. We need wellness, we need space,
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we need support, we need love, we need reciprocity. And so I've
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been really sitting in the space maybe over the past two years of shifting my
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life from survival for survival mode and going into more of a thrive space.
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And so that process of about two years has led me to really wanted to
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focus on healers, really wanting to create spaces to where we can within our
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bodies, feel safe within our spaces, feel safe and be able to heal
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and do what we need to do so we can thrive. So that's where
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I'm at right now. So I love that because I think it's so important
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right as you go through your own journey that you're finding spaces like you can
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go back and save the people that were once in a place that you were,
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Yeah, because you had to realize at some point that you needed that
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for yourself. Yeah, and you needed that to thrive, and now you're
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in a position to thrive, and now you can go back and get the
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people that will probably or feel stuck or feel hopeless about where they are as
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opposed to where they want to go. That's I think has a lot to
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do with well spaces. Developmentally, we're in different spaces, different seasons,
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and so I do believe earlier on in my career, I was assigned to
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certain people within that space in my life, and I could touch certain people
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within that space in my life. And now things are different, and so
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it's like being able to reach a different set of individuals or even individuals who
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are ready for something that looks a little different than before. We're always progressing.
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I think that's the best part about the human experience. It's growth.
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And so I know we're talking about like power and persistence and like what helps
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us to really grow and create our lives. Being in this space to be
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able to serve not only just others, but really being able to take care
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of self so we can go to along with distance, I think is supported.
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So it's all about like what spaces are we planning ourselves there to be
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able to grow? Are we repotting and going into a different soil, different
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you know, climate. I think the most beautiful thing is I would say
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a prayer about God. You know me, I'm just learning who I am.
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You know, the fullness. Help me to see the fullness of who
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I am. So if I'm you know, plating in this pot and I
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think I'm like a sunflower and I'm so proud of like being a beautiful sunflower.
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But He's like, you know what I see more, so I'm going
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to move you to a different terrain and maybe you're more of like an oak
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treer. Maybe you're more of like a who knows and he knows. And
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so I think being open to moving and being in different spaces sometimes brings out
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new gifts, brings out new like things that you never knew about yourself.
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And so that's what I'm really excited about this space that I'm into. I
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love that. And you know you talk about plans and that's like a space
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that is so close to my heart because I grew up with a gardener.
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My mother was a gardener of life. I didn't know my mother had and
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still has a garden, and I grew up just being part of that experience
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of being in a garden. That so I understand that whole analogy of sometimes
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we're planted in the wrong space, and sometimes when we're planted, we need
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to get rid of some of the weeds are around us, right, And
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so my mother spent a lot of time in her garden cleaning up the spaces
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around there and then looking for the right space for the right type of plant,
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whether it's it was an herb or a plant or some type of fruit
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tree. She was always looking for the right place for that thing to thrive.
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And I think that's an important piece of it. And sometimes, as
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you mentioned the whole scenario with a pot, were placed in a small container,
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and that's restricting our growth. And so I think for somebody like me
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who's not quite a green thumb like my love, I'm not either. I
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like the analogy, but I can't do the practical things. My daughter is,
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my sister is, she can grow in abundance. I still am working
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with the gift that maybe my mother gave to my daughter or something. I
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don't know, but I think it's really important to recognize the season that you're
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in and what you need to thrive in the next season. And I know
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something recently, and I guess I did know this, But I love reading
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and I love exploring different facts. And one of the things I recently and
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I talked about it on one of my podcast episodes, was the fact that
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what a plant is or a tree is put into the ground, it grows
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down first, right, and then you know, and oftentimes you don't get
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to see the progress. And you were talking about we're in this progressive space.
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I think a lot of times in our culture we want to see the
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fruits of the labor of everything that we've done, and we don't get to
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see that. Yet. You can grow down first, and the reason for
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that is to establish those roots, because you're going to need those roots to
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withstand the rain and the rain and the wind and all the things that are
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going to come along in light. And I think we don't cherish that.
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We don't cherish our row down season where our heads are down and we're doing
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the studies and we're just in that practical space of where we need to be
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now so that when we grow up and the storms come, we're going to
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be you know, gone to and throw with the winds. We'll be able
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to not be gone with the wind, right, We'll be able to withstand
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whatever comes. So I think that's just so powerful when you think about our
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world as people and how we want to see the top, right, we
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want to see the top soil, but there's a lot going on in the
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bottom that's to be aware of. That's what we want to get down to
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today. We want to get to the root of your story or background and
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where you started, you know, for you, I just want to know,
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like, what does it mean for you to be persistent? Yeah,
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I think it's a great question. And I've really kind of reflected over persistence
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and to me, it's really mirrored into hope. For me, I'm more
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of a visionary person, and so I'll imagine things and I'll consider like what
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could life be for me? And having a glimpse of hope helps me to
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persist towards it. So without for me, I've been in positions I do
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believe that you know, the hope has faltered or like I'm not really quite
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sure. And even in those moments, I think there are certain signs and
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things that like sometimes you're just in a routine and you're just continuing what you've
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already started because you had the hope to start, so it's just something that
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allows you to start to pick up the momentum of your life. I also
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think persistence allows you to create the life that it's promised to us, that
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we deserve, and sometimes it takes so much time to get there, but
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persistence has an opportunity to enjoy each part of the journey if I have to
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summon up. Persistence to me is really key in having hope. It's almost
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like following the hope, and even when the hope falters and it's dark,
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like we're in the weeds that we were talking about, because we've created such
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little steps, it's our motor, it's our momentum, it's becoming who we
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are, it's our identity. When people see that we're a little bit off
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kilter, they're like, hey, where are you, and they kind of
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put us back where we're supposed to be, and it helps us to continue
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to go until we see that light again. But at the beginning of it,
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for me as hope, yeah, for sure. Do you see a
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relationship between persistence and consistency, Yeah, I do. I do think that
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people get real worried about the word consistency, and for me, I'm very
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much a flexible person. I think of consistency over time. So today I
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may not necessarily do the exact same routine as yesterday, but over time,
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I am consistently always doing something to go into that box of whatever my intention
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is. So for me, I'm very much a complex person. Consistency for
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me could be today I pray tomorrow I have a color scheme that links to
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that prayer. Tomorrow I have a conversation that links to that intention. The
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next day, I have a full day of actually grind work that links to
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that intention. So it's different things that I'm doing. I'm not consistently doing
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the same thing that bores me. Okay, people have to kind of find
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what consistency actually looks like for them and honor that that. Like, even
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though today I didn't wake up five o'clock and work out, that's me,
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some people can do it. That health is still my intention, So how
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am I going to continue to be consistent with that even if it looks diverse
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within my consistency. So it's absolutely key, and I think sometimes folks get
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choked up on it because they think it looks a certain way, but it
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really is the matter of just continuing to lean into those different types of strategies
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that we have for ourselves. Yeah, and I think that's so important,
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and that's something I preach all the time about your definition of success, your
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definition of what consistency is. I mean, you define something very well down
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to the intention of the day, and that was to the grind day.
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And I think that's missed because we are so enamored with what culture says we
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need to do and what consistency looks like. Yeah, like you described the
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five am or right, I'm one of those people in great day, but
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it took some time to get there. Like you've seen, it's over a
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period of time. And I think a lot of times we want to go
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from zero to thousand and we want to do with the way somebody else did
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it because it looked good and it felt good, and we missed the opportunity
14:41
to create our own spaces where we are healing ourselves through just doing things at
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our pace. I'm a runner, so we always talk about your race,
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your pace. You know, you can't look at other people's you know,
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run time or what have you. I've seen improvement, but I've seen improved
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because I've done things to improve. And I think that also has to do
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with our root structure that you were talking about before. Others your root structure
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might look different than my root structure, and so the things that are really
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going to be my gifts might look different than your gifts. If I'm trying
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to imitate what you're doing, it's not going to go as deeper. It's
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not going to go and expand within my soil and my infrastructure and what I'm
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playing in. So exactly what you're saying is I think part of persistence also
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has to do with a knowing of self and not just knowing like who you
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are, but what around you serves you, is there for you. I
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think one of the things in my life that really helped me see is that
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there were other people who could see and understand who I was, and they
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would encourage they would see like a light or they would see a gift and
16:00
it's now where it's like, oh, I get it, you know.
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And having those different people around me to support me. When I was in
16:10
college, I was around a community and a village. I think that really
16:15
solidified my foundation on helping me to keep my hope. And so I had
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Mike and my daughter when I was I was pregnant with her at eighteen.
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I had her at nineteen. I sold my freshman year the spring of my
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freshman years, when I found out I was pregnant. Wow, it was
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one of those things where it was just like, you have hope, you
16:40
have vision, And as a young child, I always kind of had a
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knowing, Yeah, that was to me a gift from God for sure,
16:47
that you like, I would have these little sayings like don't be ordinary,
16:52
be extraordinary, and you know, just different things. I don't even know
16:56
where they came from, but they just always would hold on I would hope
17:00
on to him. And so that life event didn't necessarily line up with what
17:06
was being created in my mind. So I had my root structure of what
17:11
I knew for myself. But now I'm in this environment that I'm not really
17:15
familiar with. I don't know how to consolidate the two and my village whatever
17:19
was in my pot. My mentors. I remember being in a scholarship program
17:25
for a year and then I was supposed to be a mentor the second year
17:29
and I went to the advisor and I was like, Larry, I'm so
17:33
embarrassed I'm pregnant and I don't think I deserve to be a mentor, and
17:37
he said, you know, you for still the same person you were,
17:44
Like, let me just put some thoughts to this, and if you're comfortable
17:48
with being who you are, which is a mentor, you can continue.
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And so I was a pregnant mentor that second year. But it was someone
17:56
in my village that was like, uh uh, this is who you are.
18:00
We see it, we see your light. And it was an opportunity
18:03
for me to go a different route or to kind of lean into the story
18:11
of a failure versus the story of this is life, this is who you
18:18
are. This is something that is going to preparing for more. So,
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I do think when it comes to like those darker moments that roots system,
18:30
there's fertilizer, there's so many things that's available to us to help us in
18:34
those areas, to keep us aligned. But it's really challenging to like not
18:40
you can't see it yourself, and distrusting and knowing that those people are in
18:45
the right spaces at the right time. Well before I think, you know,
18:48
hearing that that, that's so powerful to me because you know, we
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oftentimes we don't know the impact we have on others simply by seeing them for
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who they are. And I think that that is a testament to persistence for
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anybody out there listening and you're struggling with that. You may need to be
19:06
in an environment where you have a village of people around you that coach,
19:11
the cheerleader, the person that will pray with you. There's so many different
19:14
roles that your community playing for you. And then you have the person that's
19:18
in your face saying, wait, stop, audible, we need to take
19:22
a time out. We're not speaking that way. Yeah, because that language
19:26
that you are speaking out loud in align with the language that you were playing
19:30
in your mind, like don't be it ordinary, be extraordinary. And in
19:34
that moment, it was like he had the answers to the test if you
19:38
will, And so now we're anaying to you you can still be extraordinary right
19:44
now. You are extraordinary. As a matter of fact, this makes you
19:47
unique because how your testimony is going to tell for years to come to the
19:52
next person that comes about is significant. So I think that's important. Shout
19:56
out to all the mentors out there, Yeah, you make it happen.
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Absolutely remind us of who we are you give us that light that we don't
20:07
get to see. Because when you are in a wilderness season, which is
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what I call it. I like to call the wilderness season. I go
20:11
back to the children of Israel walking around for forty years. Yeah, and
20:15
in that wilderness season, it's so easy to just keep circling that mountain so
20:22
many times over and over again and not realizing you are in fact circling that
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mountain. So when you have been in situations where you are circling a mountain,
20:32
or have you been in a situation where you have to go around that
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mountain time, Yeah, for sure. So there's been There's so many little
20:41
points, and I think it's so interesting to be able to look back.
20:47
It's such a blessing to be able to look back and to see and understand
20:51
what those moments meant at the time, because when you're going through them,
20:56
you're just in it. And I think that's part of the process of just
21:00
figuring life out and holding on to those gyms long enough for you to look
21:04
back and say, oh, this is wisdom. Now. Wow. When
21:07
I went to graduate school graduated with my PhD, it was huge because I
21:17
had a baby, you know, in nineteen, graduated from undergrad went through
21:23
graduate school, incredibly difficult as a single parent, and a lot of challenges,
21:30
a lot of trauma during that time as well. Finally graduate, completely
21:34
burnt out at that point, and it's time for me to study for my
21:38
licensure. You do all of this so that you can be a license provider.
21:45
And I was tapped out. And I remember studying doing the best I
21:51
could. And when I tell you, I felt that test the first time,
21:55
it was just like I don't have any more in me. I don't
22:00
even know what else to do. I had finally graduated, I had gotten
22:04
through fellowship, like this is the height of anything I'd ever done in my
22:10
life, truly extraordinary, you know, And now you can't go to the
22:15
next level. That thought so again. Sometimes those failure thoughts and those you
22:19
know, I call them adversary thoughts. They come against what you know to
22:23
be true for yourself and having to study again, having to push forward through
22:30
all of the issues. I had to spend money that I didn't have to
22:37
take a course, but I did pass that second time. But I do
22:41
think that it wasn't an option. It was almost like if I give up
22:48
and don't take the test again. Or if I allow this to be my
22:52
end and I take it and I fail again, then what Yeah, I
22:57
think part of like going around in the cycle. For me, it's like
23:03
this is my life, Well I stay here? Do I enjoy this phase
23:08
of life? In this cycle? It's in this loop? Is this okay
23:12
for me? Am I okay here? And a lot of times when I'm
23:17
in that loop, I'm in despair. I'm in panic. You know,
23:19
I'm in a place that's very stressful, and I just don't like feeling that
23:25
way. So there's something that has to push me beyond this loop that I'm
23:29
kind of cycling through. During that time, it was like, you know,
23:33
pulling up some extra money and figuring out how I'm gonna take this course
23:37
that was in Chicago that was gonna teach me exactly what I needed to know
23:41
to pass this test. But I think in other situations where I've been like
23:45
cycling through, it really has been about what are the resources that are maybe
23:52
more insightful than me, or that have made it through this position before that
23:57
I can lean on and just a little step by step because I don't have
24:02
the energy, I don't have the will to push over myself. I need
24:06
some support. So I really do think as we're talking about persistence and going
24:10
around and around at those periods, it does have to do with what access
24:15
we have to really be able to pull us through. And a lot of
24:22
times I think people feel like, well, I don't have those supports.
24:25
I don't have the money to do it. I don't have mentors. I
24:27
don't have the different people in our environment. I'm telling you I would create
24:34
mentors. Tdj's was my mentor for a long time. He never knew it.
24:37
Like there were people who were my mentors. They didn't even know it.
24:42
I would study them, I would learn from them, I would be
24:48
I would become inspired from them, even though they didn't know it. Things
24:52
that would just happen randomly. I would just pull that as a resource for
24:56
myself. Of like I needed to hear that today. That was for me,
25:00
even though they may have just been having a conversation at the grocery store
25:04
the cash here. That was a prayer for me. Sometimes just being able
25:08
to give yourself a lifeline just it's almost to the point of saying, like,
25:15
I know I'm not supposed to be here. There is a lifeline for
25:19
me. I don't see it there it is. I'm gonna take this one.
25:22
This one is good enough. Yeah, this is what I need to
25:26
really push me over. And I think it's more of a like a commitment
25:33
to who I know I'm supposed to be, or I'm knowing I'm supposed to
25:37
be more than where I am right now. There was so much here,
25:41
Yeah, there's so much here that you provided. And I think one thing
25:45
that stood out to me is that you could have spent your time, spend
25:48
your wheels circle that mountain focusing on what you don't have. You didn't have
25:55
the money, you didn't have the training, you didn't get the test,
25:57
right, you didn't you didn't you didn't right. But what you did was
26:02
you did an inward introspection and you want You went on a journey to find
26:07
out, well, what do I need to get over here? So I
26:11
need a mentor I can't afford one, I don't know one, I don't
26:15
have one, whatever the case may be. But I found one on TV.
26:18
I found one on the streaming services. I found one on YouTube.
26:21
I found one somewhere in a book, in a book, And so I
26:25
think that is so important in this conversation of persistence, because a lot of
26:29
times we think that what we need. First of all, we're not even
26:33
focusing on what we need we spend our time. We're focusing on what we
26:37
don't have. That's the that's the pit. That's a trick, that's the
26:41
trick, that's the trap. Right. The real flex is to come up
26:47
out of that, which is what you did through that internal self awareness work
26:52
of getting to know, well, what do I need? Because you say
26:56
something that's so familiar to me. If I'm going through something and I'm going
26:59
to olderness season, I often say, this is not the end of my
27:02
story. My story doesn't end here. There are still chapters. There's still
27:07
paragraphs to be written about my story. This might be a bullet, this
27:11
might be a sentence, this might be a word. It's the entire book
27:15
of who I am, the book of my lead. This is not my
27:18
story, This is not my story. And so that stood out to me
27:22
because I say that all the time to myself. But I think what's most
27:25
important are those words that you say to yourself about what you need, and
27:33
you go after that what you have. And sometimes we think we need to
27:37
have everything ironed out. We need to have everything pressed and perfect. I
27:42
grew up on my mother mean us iron our clothes every day. I think
27:47
that's why I don't iron us much anymore. But everything had to be laid
27:51
out and prayed out and iron out into the stocks seem telling you, and
27:56
I think we don't need that right now. You what you have, You
28:00
already have it, You already obtain it, You're possess it, is what
28:03
I'm saying. And I think a lot of times we try to look for
28:07
the external things to validate that we are going in the right direction. While
28:12
you're going in the right direction, because you're going in the direction of your
28:15
purpose. And that sounds like from what you were saying, it was really
28:21
full, but it was full of purpose. I think at the top of
28:26
it all, at the base of it all really was the purpose. You
28:30
knew that you were meant for more, You knew that you were extraordinary,
28:33
and you didn't settle you could have. It's easy to stop. And so
28:40
to that point about stopping, do you think that when people stop there is
28:47
an opportunity for them to persist even when they take that stop. Do you
28:53
think there's a challenge do you think, Yeah, do you think there's a
28:56
challenge that when we stop? Is it hard when you stop to persist?
29:02
Is it harder to stop to to start back up? Or what do you
29:08
see about that? Yeah, you know, it's an interesting question because there
29:11
are I do feel that there are periods of time where a stop is necessary,
29:18
But it also to me, I feel like it comes with the knowing
29:22
of what season we're in. I feel that stops are just like failures.
29:27
They're not like stops you fail. They're adjustments. Okay, everything is an
29:33
adjustment. And so today and again, thinking of your whole life and the
29:37
thought of consistency, if I stop today, it doesn't mean that I stop
29:41
forever. It may be just a stop for this season. I need to
29:47
lean into my heart, or I need to lean into my health, and
29:51
then I pick it up because I'm restored, and I think you have being
29:56
very mindful of what do I need in this season or to go to lungs.
30:00
We're talking about persistence, which has to do with sustainability. So if
30:06
I'm going to persist, then that means my brain, my heart, my
30:10
body, my spirit has to go the long distance. And so I do
30:14
feel like a premature stop can be from anything, it can be for fear
30:18
avoidance, and I think those kind of superficial stops, I can't do it.
30:22
I'm not going to do it. It's different than what I'm speaking of.
30:26
Yeah, okay, so there's I feel like there's a knowing and an
30:30
adjustment where sometimes it's like I need a breath, but I'm still consistently working
30:36
at a different level. Maybe not one hundred percent, maybe not fifty percent,
30:38
maybe at twenty five percent, but I never stop. I'm always in
30:44
movement. I'm always in motion. But a resting and rest and stop is
30:48
different for folks who actually just quit or give up. Honestly, I think
30:55
part of my worldview is there are no mistakes, and a quit and a
31:02
give up actually could be it could teach a lesson. So the way I
31:07
perview everything is that if you quit or you give up, you cannot leave
31:14
that period place in your life without grabbing the lesson. If you quit and
31:18
you give up, and then you're like, I'm just a failure. I'm
31:21
not gonna do it anymore. You're not grab a wisdom. If you say,
31:23
you know what, I'm making a decision to quit and stop right now
31:27
because this is good for my health. I need to do this. I'm
31:30
gonna prioritize X, Y, and Z, and maybe I can pick it
31:34
up in the future. All of those words are feeding whatever purpose is,
31:41
it's at a base. So I do think for some people who don't grab
31:45
the wisdom, it's harder to start back up. The reason that I feel
31:49
like, if you don't grab the wisdom, it's harder to start back up
31:52
is because you're setting a different foundation. You're setting a different foundation that says,
31:59
oh, I try but it didn't work out for me. The world
32:01
doesn't have me in its cards. That is a narrative that is very real
32:07
for people. So when I try something it just didn't quite work out because
32:13
I already thought or knew that it wasn't gonna work out for me. I
32:16
think that comes from quitting too early. Earlier on in our development. I
32:22
have this thought about like younger, you know, I have a heart for
32:25
like twins and teens folks shifting over because I was pregnant I was eighteen,
32:30
So that's kind of like a really hard space for me where I feel like
32:36
if I had given up at that point, I would have learned that giving
32:42
up is an option, and also all of these things that happened in my
32:46
life after giving up, it means something to me, so like I don't
32:51
have what it takes, or perhaps you know, things kind of settle out
32:55
the way they're supposed to. Maybe I'm not extraordinary. Maybe this is just
32:59
a life I'm supposed to have, and that's now the foundation at eighteen that
33:05
I'm building on. I think if you learn to persist earlier in life,
33:10
it flexes this muscle. It's like being able to see faith open up your
33:15
life. So I don't think it's hard to start back up. I think
33:22
it's almost like creating this narrative for your life, which makes it less likely
33:30
for you to try sometimes because I think like, oh no, that's not
33:35
for me, it's not for people like me. Why would I think that?
33:38
Uh huh. Yeah. I think there's a strong relationship with persistence,
33:44
and oftentimes we want to feel comfortable as we go through things. We don't
33:52
want to feel this comfort otherwise, right, And so when we feel a
33:55
discomfort, that's where it feels hard, and that's where we want to quit.
34:01
Quit. And so I always say that hard is just you adjusting to
34:09
something that's new. Because most people that are doing what they're doing that have
34:14
been doing it for a number of years or seasons or what have you.
34:17
They're comfortable with it. They could probably you know, you hear people say
34:21
I can do with my eyes Clowes. Yeah, because you're comfortable with it.
34:23
Well, put you now in a new situation where things are uncomfortable.
34:28
There is a level of discomfort or pain internally, externally, mentally, whatever's
34:34
financially right. Thinking back to your situation, there's some financial challenges there too,
34:39
and so it's easy to just bow out at that point and say,
34:43
well, I don't have that money, I'm not going to ever have that
34:45
money, and just have that narrative that you talked about. But it's so
34:50
important at that point to say, okay, this is hard for me now
34:52
because it's new to lean now right, what's hard, it's just new.
34:58
That's how I like to look at hard. The narrative is everything, you
35:02
know. I think for a person who has a different narrative, if they
35:06
quit tomorrow, they'll pick it up again. Like if they have a narrative
35:08
that I can do it, and I can quit today and I can pick
35:10
it back up to Mars New Day to Mars New Day. But if I
35:14
have that narrative that it's over, it's failure, those are the narratives that
35:20
make it harder to start up again. I do think, and I also
35:23
think that when it comes to you you're talking about like I could do it
35:28
with my eyes closed. It's almost like I remember saying that something like get
35:34
comfortable with discomfort. I'll have to say two things about that. The first
35:37
one, it was really helpful in that season for me to recognize and build
35:43
meaning around pain. So you were talking about the root system, underground in
35:47
the darkness. In our culture, we live in dichotomy dark versus light,
35:55
good versus that bad. But in my in my thoughts system, God is
36:00
abundant. So even in the dark system, that's cuz good. Yeah,
36:06
it's beauty, it's dearth, it is so much that you're absorbing, it's
36:12
nutrients, it's nurture. And so to say like I'm having a painful point,
36:17
I'm like, what is God infusing in me right now? That feels
36:22
like so? And being able to draw a narrative around what is this dark
36:28
space or this underground space that I'm in right now? I laugh because I'm
36:34
also a complaint with Michael. She's so funny because she's like Mama, you
36:37
know, like if I'm physically in pain, if I hurt my foot,
36:39
I'm going to complain about it, like I'm going to talk about it all
36:43
the time. That's just why I am. So I will complain about it.
36:46
But I also will in my quiet time really meditate on like what does
36:52
this pain mean for me? It's just the end of my story, and
36:55
really taking the opportunity to live while I'm in this dark space. I think
37:02
when my nephew passed away, I think that was probably the darkest space I've
37:07
ever been in that I can kind of recognize. And part of it was
37:14
such a contrast from like who I envisioned myself to be, who I knew
37:20
myself my narrative, because my narrative is light, it's energized, buzzes.
37:24
It's like, you know, I hang all of that warmth. So when
37:29
he passed away, it was cold. I remember, even in my dreams
37:31
that were in black and white, I normally am a dreamer. Everything just
37:36
was very much dark, and I think in those seasons it was very much
37:42
a time for quiet with just me and God and I would just talk like
37:47
what, you know, what it's just about and just not ever having that
37:54
opportunity to be that close to God and just being that close in my prayers
38:00
and everything else is quiet. There's nothing else that can pull me out of
38:04
this space. So what is this space meaning? For me? I had
38:07
to make meaning of it. And I think when it comes to trauma,
38:10
when it comes to life events, it sometimes it really does help us to
38:15
thrive if we can make meaning of those moments and then shift out versus it.
38:22
Sometimes life, I mean, life happens so quickly, and I think
38:28
part of persistence is being able to make meaning because it's not. There are
38:32
certain things that tap people out and it's really hard to overcome and restore and
38:39
it takes time. And I think for me that was part of it.
38:44
It's like figuring out while I'm in this dark space, what is the meaning
38:47
of this? Lord? What is this helping me with in the future that
38:52
I can't see now? And it's so like it I can't understand it.
38:58
But just hold me and help me through. You know what I hear from
39:02
you here is quiet time, you know, I call it holy moments where
39:10
you can just be alone, be with God, be in prayer, be
39:15
in meditation. I think that's the thing, kind of going back to this
39:20
healing space that you create. Healers. We are, as you mentioned,
39:23
healers can be parents. They're not necessarily people in a field discipline, but
39:30
we are healing someone absolutely in our lives, are healing ourselves, right.
39:35
There might be some things from childhood or you know, even in adulthood,
39:38
there are things that we have to heal from that are happening in real time
39:43
and living colors. Absolutely, and so those quiet times. I absolutely cherish
39:47
my quiet times. I think that's one of the reasons why I adopt the
39:52
early mornings as my time. We'll say over and over again, like you're
39:57
a and it took me a while to embrace that, but I recognize that
40:00
I really enjoy moments on the deck where I'm just listening to the birds chirp
40:06
while I have coffee or yeah, complete quiet and silence, knowing that okay,
40:09
they'll be up for another couple of hours, like it's time. And
40:14
exactly on the journey of persistence, there has to be that element of finding
40:21
you in the day, finding you in the moments after the moments, right,
40:27
the thing that occurred, the life event that you just talked about.
40:30
I think we just go from journey to journey to journey, and we don't
40:34
take a moment to persist from within. Oh my god, because within needs
40:38
to be healed, to be helped, to be nurtured. And so when
40:43
you talk, when we talk about that underground, I think underground is a
40:45
beautiful place. And I love that you highlighted it because we often just go
40:51
like, I just want to have the fruit, and can you know,
40:53
benefit from the fruit and I'm providing, But that dark, that dark time
41:00
is not necessarily what dark tends to get that. Yeah, that that type
41:05
of highlight to it. I think it is a beautiful time to get the
41:08
nutrients and find out what do I need right now? Yeah? What do
41:12
I need tomorrow? You know that is one moment, but tomorrow is a
41:15
moment next week. So I think that dark time is beauty. And if
41:20
you are a belief if you know that when there's dark, all you need
41:23
is a glimmer of light, Yeah, all you need is a glimmer of
41:28
light, and it changes the entire outlook, the entire outcome, and your
41:34
mindset. That changes everything that goes back to hope, that goes back to
41:37
hope. So it really is one of as you were speaking, like being
41:42
in those darker spaces, I feel that it just wipes out what you think
41:47
you need. You know, you think you need friendship, or you think
41:52
you need you know, money or the homes and blah blah blah, and
41:55
it just it floors you. It just puts you down to the point of
42:00
like, no, you need healing, your heart needs to be restored.
42:04
Like I feel like there were messages during that period of time that I didn't
42:07
realize any boundaries. Need you need we got to pause on that one,
42:13
Yes, a big one, yeah, on any journey. And I think
42:16
for me and that was, you know, the start of a journey for
42:22
me of saying like what about you there? What about you? You know?
42:29
Being a healer for me started from a place of seeing others, understanding,
42:37
having empathy because I've gone through it to and knowing exactly what to do
42:40
to do the second part of my life has been what about you? Who
42:46
are you be? Be to be? Yeah, just sit in the room
42:52
and be who you are and let everything else fall in its course, not
42:55
do And so for me, I think in those darker spaces gave me messages
43:02
that I just didn't know how to create myself. And I think the meaning
43:10
is like going through doing therapy with folks and helping them to see like there's
43:15
something here that we have to hold on to a message that's helping us to
43:21
shift into another part of our lives. But it's such a you know,
43:25
from the human experience, it's such a hard thing to graph sometimes. But
43:31
I definitely see now as far as like the wellness peace, that's my baby,
43:37
because it's like it's for me. So I started this whole thing with
43:42
like surviving to thrive. I'm so like, it's kind of funny to me
43:45
because I was like, lord, I'm ready, Like I'm ready. I'm
43:50
feeling burned out, like you know the story, you know the journey.
43:52
Well, it's time for healers to heal. It's time for us to have
43:55
our spaces. And I feel like I was like, yep, it's kind
44:00
for you. It's not for you to heal, it's not for you to
44:02
have your space. And so it's interesting how like I'll start here and I'll
44:07
create, you know, the content. I'll create the different types of infrastructure
44:12
that I want to go through. The curriculum in the last two years has
44:15
been my life is the curriculum. No more. For others. Now,
44:22
you need to be you need to receive the healing, you need to be
44:27
able to restore. I know there's something on the other side of this for
44:30
me as well. I know that the well spaces are coming. But I'm
44:34
in my well space and I'm well, and I think that's the for right
44:42
now. That's where I that's my space. Good. I think creating the
44:46
new spaces is just gonna come from this then, and I think that's a
44:53
beautiful pain. So it's kind of interesting. I don't have the words and
44:58
the vocabulary now because I'm kind of in it, but I do since that
45:04
the extension of this is really coming from just a really more secure, more
45:08
weighty place than I've been in the past. So my persistence feels different.
45:14
It doesn't feel energized, electric passionate. It feels very RESTful, and if
45:21
you disrupt something out of my piece, it's more settled, and then from
45:27
there it just continues a little bit different. Yeah, I think that's a
45:30
good perspective, that persistence has seasons and it shows up differently, it's going
45:36
to be a different type of persistence. Sometimes our persistence is energetic, it's
45:39
flowing, it's moving, it's going, it's doing the things. Yeah.
45:43
And then sometimes it's just right. Yeah, it's sitting and it's breathing.
45:49
Its breathing, it's doing the basics right that we take for granted. Yeah,
45:52
and are really powerful, right, And those sins are really important.
45:57
I think the last thing I want to talk about is for sistance as a
46:00
superpower. You know. I think when we think about superpower, we think
46:06
about superheroes and yeah, you know the ones that can fly, Superman,
46:08
Batman, you know, Fighter Man, all the people in the different universes,
46:15
the worm More Universe, the Avengers. We think about all those different
46:20
superheroes and the powers they have to you know, change the outcome of a
46:23
situation or manipulate something. And I see persistence as a superpower. How do
46:30
you see it? Do you do you feel the same? I love that
46:32
analogy. You know, a lot of times when I work with families and
46:36
people in general, I talk about the human experience, like there's so much
46:42
about our culture that shifts us into being machines. You know. Sometimes there's
46:47
this like whole alien type of concept that people talk about, the super the
46:52
superwoman, the black woman is the cap all of those things. But what's
46:57
so powerful what you said about sometimes the base breeding, the base of just
47:01
being a human, just human is so powerful. Like I think when it
47:07
comes to being persistent in it, being a superpower is saying I am enough
47:15
to keep going even within this space of being like a you know, eighteen
47:22
year old girl from Madison, Mississippi. You know, it's just like going
47:29
international media, my husband, living this life, building these things, having
47:32
multiple companies. That's not ordinary, not it's not ordinary. But I was
47:38
an I'm an ordinary human who made a choice to persist, to be persistent,
47:47
to be consistent, to be knowing within myself, and any ordinary human
47:54
being can have that power. And I think one of the things that I'm
48:00
learning too is the power of choice. It's so powerful. And I think
48:05
being in the trauma field, there's so many things culturally that take away your
48:09
power of choice, power of choice, and so being able to persist in
48:15
something and create your life the way you never desire it, like you never
48:20
knew it could be, it's powerful. Yeah, I do see that for
48:24
sure, And I think that ordinary humans can become superhumans extraordinary with persistence for
48:32
sure. Yeah. And it's a differentiator, right, because it's the thing
48:37
that and not necessarily differentiating from other people. I think what we think differentiating
48:42
is like where I'm a different person than you are, or what I do
48:45
is more unique than you. I think it's a differentiator for you for your
48:50
own journey, Yeah, because if you don't have it, then you kind
48:53
of are stuck, or you stay in the same place, or U circling
48:57
that mouth settling, and so it's a different perentiator that moves you into the
49:01
place a new season, moves you into a new way of thinking. Yes,
49:06
that's what happened on your journey, is that you always have this thought
49:09
process, and it took someone from the outside to look at some things,
49:13
and it took you to look at some internal things to see, hey,
49:15
this is what I need as opposed to you know, I don't have these
49:19
things. And so I think when I think of it being a superpower,
49:22
it is just you recognizing that you can move. And like you said,
49:29
you have choice, and I think we forget we have choice. We think
49:32
we're stuck. You know, always say you're not a tree. You can
49:35
move right, and so you can move, you can move, you can
49:38
choose, and that's a that's a huge power that I think we don't exercise
49:44
enough because we accept what the cards were given and we can choose a different
49:50
way to go. It's a different route, yeah, for sure. And
49:52
you know it can take you new places. It can take you place places,
49:57
and like you said, be willing to embrace the the thing that's unnatural,
50:05
the thing that is not ordinary, right, And that's how you embrace
50:09
the extraordinary because you're going to be in new spaces, absolutely have. We're
50:13
willing to embrace the discomfort of the extraordinary, the different. And I think
50:20
persistence is insignificant. I think a lot of us miss the opportunity to do
50:27
the things that we need to do. And I love the journey of what
50:30
you said about the healing part, the internal work and the sitting that it
50:38
doesn't sound like what persistence is for most of us, but I think it
50:43
is. It's really given me a new perspective what it is and what it
50:46
can be. So I really appreciate you bringing that album and that's what it's
50:51
all about about here on the Yourself podcast, Like I said, it's celebrating
50:57
the one and fifty episodes. Really excited for this conversation. I think it's
51:01
so important. Yeah, thank you all so much for tuning in today.
51:06
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