Latest / Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast / New Relationship Energy Fades And That Is Normal | S5 EP136 (FLASHBACK EP)

Transcript

New Relationship Energy Fades And That Is Normal | S5 EP136 (FLASHBACK EP) · Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

• 0:54
  SPEAKER_08: You're ridiculous.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_08: Should I get a nerd?
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_08: No.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_08: Why?
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_08: Chew your nerves.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_08: Fine, I'll use my drink.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_08: I had my chips right now.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_08: I had goldfish.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: I ran out.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_08: Chew it.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'll give you one if you don't do your drink.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: Which one?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: You want nerd or a drink?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_08: Well, I need more than one.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: No, you only need one.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: Five.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Five?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: Three.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_08: It's gotta make it a minute.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: Three.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_08: Four.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: Three.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: I hate even numbers.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_05: Three and a half.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: There's no half.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: You hate even numbers?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: I hate even numbers.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_05: What kind of neurodivergent person are you?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_05: They like even numbers.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_05: I hate even numbers.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_05: How do you hate even numbers?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_08: I have a problem with you hating even numbers.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: I hate even numbers.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_08: Oh my god.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's beyond.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_08: Nope.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_08: I need even two.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_08: I can't do odd numbers.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_08: Four?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: If you like even numbers, I'll get yours.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: But you can't use your drink.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: But you touch this.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_08: O C D.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: You better not.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_08: I get four?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: You get four.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_08: I can't do my drink.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_08: I can drink my drink.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: Not for ASMR.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: Not happy.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta choose one.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_08: I'll have to leave it all this in.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_08: There.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_08: Happy?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_08: I got four.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, four.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_08: Drink my drink normally.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Normally?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Don't you do it.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_08: That was a normal drink.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, uh.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_08: Welcome back, everybody.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_08: Um, leaving all that in or making it very short, but I'm leaving it all in.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_08: We had a very simple negotiation.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_08: That was our negotiation minute, and you guys got to hear what an example is.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Now that I'd be on board for negotiation minute before every episode.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_08: We could just find somebody to negotiate.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_08: On the table now.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, oh, speaking of which, fun games.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_08: I got a fun game for you.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: You're decide.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Do your thing, and then we'll go into that.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_08: Well, yeah.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_08: This is the ranting episode, so.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_08: Who are you?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: This is Miss Roo.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_08: Guess who I am today?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_08: I'm Sir Uric von Liechtenstein.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: I have no idea what the world is.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my god, you're killing me, bruh.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_05: You never heard of a night's tale?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_08: Going through all the dead dead people.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_08: Rip Rest in Peace, Heath Leisure.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_08: That's an old one.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_08: Sir Eric von Liechtenstein.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_08: Just watched that one too.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_08: It's a great movie.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_08: That's one of those ones I watch on a yearly basis.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_08: Because just fucking Heath, man.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_08: Why?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_08: Why?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_08: This is my first rant.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_08: Why?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: Can we get this over with?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_08: What?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, you no, I gotta build this up.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_08: Okay, so we did the intro.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_08: We have an intro now.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_08: And we're going into our ASMR minute.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_08: Apparently, I'm not drinking anything.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: Nope.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_08: What are you drinking?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm drinking peach crown.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: Peach crown.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: And munching on some nerd clusters.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: The blue ones, because the blue ones are better than the red ones in my events.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_08: Berry, berry.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_08: I didn't even know there was two different flavors.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: There are two different flavors.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_08: Nerds, not sponsored, gummy clusters, sweet and yummy, tangy and crunchy.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_08: I will say that I would not normally get this, but because I'm doing an ASMR minute and people love it.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: A person loves it.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_08: People love it.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_08: They're just not saying anything else.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_08: I'm going to do one at a time.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_08: We didn't negotiate that.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_08: Ha ha ha.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_08: So for the ASMR minute, that's why I wanted five.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_08: It's got to last the whole minute.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_08: Which is going to start in three, two.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_05: Oh no, it doesn't crunch.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: It does crunch.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, you better put all those in your mouth.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: You'll get more effect if you put them all in your mouth.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_08: That's what she said.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_08: Do I sound like a bunny eating a watermelon?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: No, nothing like a bunny.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_08: That's my favorite.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: Bunnies don't go in the middle of their bites.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_08: If you guys watch the They make a little noise.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_08: If you guys don't know anything like that.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_08: If you guys don't know anything about bunny eating watermelon ASMR, go look that up on YouTube.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_08: And then I'll take you down the rabbit hole and then you see uh you watch a turtle eating a uh cantaloupe.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_08: Very cute.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_08: And then you finish with the pit bull eating all the meat.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_08: I will say that it's very cute, but pit bull biting through a bone.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_08: Still very jarring.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_08: But still very cute.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_08: Because the pit bull just sits there at the table.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_08: They make a little table for the pit bull.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_08: Actually.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_08: This actually went on a minute now.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_08: Used to do this more often.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'll bring different snacks.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: So gross.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: This is my favorite candy.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: Don't ruin it for me.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_08: So speaking of rats, do you know about mukbangs?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_08: We've talked about this before.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_08: People just eat.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: They eat in front of the thing, but like the way that they eat is insane.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_08: It depends on what it is.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_08: So you can eat a lot, or you can just eat something that's very tasty and go into it.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: No, these people eat like a lot.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_08: Most people eat a lot.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_08: Do you know how it started?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_08: It's because people get well, why it started and became popular is because people in certain countries do not like to eat by themselves.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_08: It's a very cultural thing to be eating with people, but you're isolated and you can't really eat with people.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_08: So you turn on the YouTubes or whatever and you watch a video of somebody eating and that kind of does the thing.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_08: No, it does the thing for you.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_08: And people have started streaming now, so then you can listen to chat while you eat and stuff like that.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_08: If y'all don't know, I'm a big old fat boy and I like my foods.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_08: I've been fasting, which is strange, but yet I can still eat a lot of food.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_08: I don't understand how that works.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_08: My stomach has shrunk, as I have shrunk.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_08: I'm a schmedium now, from from an extra, probably a double X, down to a Schmedium, but yet I can still eat.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_08: And I've come to learn that the uh competitive eaters eat a lot as well, but they don't eat anything.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_08: They fast.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: They fast.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: But yet they can still eat.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: And they can still eat.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: They re it takes a couple days for them to recover from what they eat, too.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, because you I mean you can you're going from nothing to something, like yogurt two days, and then all that, and then um there's tiny people like whatever gender, they're only about 150 pounds.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they're itty bitty.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_08: So I'm gonna start doing that.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_08: You see me making a YouTube channel and be but I'm gonna eat like this.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the minute's over, you can stop this is for example now.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_08: This is not this is AMR example.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: This is gonna be a rant episode, you're about to start on the road episode.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_08: You wanna start on a rant here?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so my rant here.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_08: We don't need to do a whole hour, but I'm gonna play a game.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_08: I don't know if you've heard of it though.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, but first of all, my first rant.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_08: I did not know that there were different developmental phases in relationships.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: How many?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_08: There are five.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_08: Allegedly, because if you look up the if you look it up, there's like a bunch of different names, but in general it's like five, and then could it go up to seven.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, how many is there?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: Is there five or is there seven?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_08: The one I found that I've heard of, and there's a very nice book called Polywise by Jessica Fern and David something her extra.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_08: And it's the sequel to Polysecure, which we talked about.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, and uh we gotta do a review once somebody reads Polywise.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_08: We've got to do a little review.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_08: And please come to the Instagram, Campfire Kingsters with K's, if you would like to hear us do more reviews, because I love doing reviews.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_08: I know it's a played out thing.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: We haven't done that, like a book review in a long time.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we did Polysecure, but we should do that.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_08: We were supposed to read another book.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_08: We were, and we did not read the other book because stuff happened.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: So we'll read Polywise and we'll do an episode on a review of Polywise.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_08: I'm waiting on you because I'm enjoying every one of it, but there's a chapter five in there that gets really good that talks about relationships.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_08: The fuck okay, so I I identify as well, I physically identify as black person of color, but I was raised in an Asian household and somewhat a little bit black.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_08: My my understanding of relationships, and I talked to my therapist about this today, is uh you yell at your partner, you don't do anything together, you go home and you come to sleep, you deal with the kids, and that's it.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_08: You have no life outside of that, no hobbies, whatever.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Who says that?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_08: This no, this is my no.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_08: But that's you that's my experience of relationship.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_08: Okay, this is a different of you.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_08: And then in the a lot of the POC cultures, because I've been in there, but definitely in the aging culture, you're just supposed to go get a job and then get married.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_08: It's like, how the fuck am I supposed to do this in a single parent household?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_08: I have no example of a good relationship.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_08: So listening to Pollywise.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_08: You gave me no instructional advice, barely got the sex talk.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_08: I can't remember how I actually got the sex talk, except for my friends kind of doing it.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: You got it from your friends.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: We talked about that.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_08: Not even yeah, yeah, if you want to call it that allegedly, we just keep using that now.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_08: Um, but yeah, so I was in a very hectic house cold, and then any other example I had, the couple was yelling and fighting.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_08: There was no like romantic stuff whatsoever.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_08: So yeah, I'm supposed to go go out there, which probably has something to do with my how I am now.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_08: But yeah, and very religious, very conservative, which is another brand I have.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_08: But there are five dimensional stages.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_08: We'll just focus on the first two.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_08: I'm not gonna go over all five.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: The fact that we're both looking at a computer screen that has absolutely nothing to do with what we're talking about, but we keep both looking at it.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's going to magically change on its own.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_08: What happens is it doesn't matter what I'm doing.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_08: I'm scared to like move anything because you end up looking.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_08: Like I'm trying to do stuff in the background.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: No, because even when I'm and the screen's still talking about what we talked about in our last episode.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_08: Exactly.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_08: Even when you're talking and I'm trying to do stuff in the background and you look, so I have to do it like covertly, and like, oh yeah, I'm looking at you.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_08: Because then you get distracted of what I'm doing.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_08: It's like, no, keep talking.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_08: I'm producing here.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_08: Um, but I'm just gonna focus on the first two because most couples don't even get to the other three.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_08: Don't even know what it is.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: But we still should talk about it.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_08: I'll talk about it in a we gotta get it's a multiple episode.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_08: Multiple episodes, and I'm definitely going to do a pillow fort session if you all like hearing me rant by myself because I'm upset, and this is what I like talking about, but there a lot of phases.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: Now, how many episodes are there?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: Or how many um stages are there?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: Phases.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: Phases, stages they call it.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_08: Developmental phases that I found from Pollywise, there's five.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_08: There's different um see, because developmental doesn't necessarily mean relationship, but there's in the book and also the website I'm using, it's specific to couples.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_08: And I'm going to just probably say heteronormative couples, but you can say any kind of relationship, really.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_08: Relationship, any orientation.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: Relationship, play partner, all that stuff.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: But a DS was which could we apply this to DSs?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_08: All the different things.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_08: Um, once you start going there, but then you have all the different um relationship stuff, and that's where you get into the different seven phases and stuff like that, too.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_08: So just gonna talk about the first two for this one because keep it a shorter episode.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_08: The first one is very important because that's where a lot of couples, from my understanding, get stuck in.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_08: So this is I've actually heard outside of polywise, and also in when people are talking about different um relationship stuff, uh, people talk about being in the symbiotic or symbiosis phase.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_08: Now, this is a stage where people like to call when people make songs about it, new relationship energy.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_08: I'm sure we've all heard about that.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_08: But basically, that's where you come together as a couple or what have you, and you merge together all your common interests, and there's like a little bit of a fantasy thing because there's a lot of promises made, and you kind of go into that because you're in a heightened state of awareness.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: You have a lot of formals, all of the things that you have in common and you're ignoring the things that you don't.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_08: Exactly.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_08: And then also you have big promises that you make.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, yeah, we're gonna do this, take these trips, do all this yeah, future planning together, and you're you're in the um euphoric stage of your relationship.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_08: New relationship.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_08: Okay, we got all these things together.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_08: I found somebody I found somebody that that has a common interest that I like.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_08: And unfortunately, from my childhood, this is all a relationship is.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_08: This is where I've been lying to.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, and you're supposed to stay in this, and if you don't, you're a failure.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, and Jessica actually points this out in the book.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_08: Okay, so they take turns in the book, so you'll get to that eventually.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_08: They switch off back and forth between Jessica and David.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_08: This is where she talks about a lot of couples stay in this phase, and you are like punished for not being in that phase for the whole relationship.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: This must be a bad relationship because we're not this anymore.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, exactly.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_08: We're not having we're not in the honeymoon phase, which a lot of people like to talk about.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_08: And then they're like, oh, you're not in the honeymoon phase anymore.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_08: It's like, oh, time they're in the relationship.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_08: It's like, no, there's another step, which I didn't know.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_08: There is it's called differentiation.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: What that's what it's called?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_08: That's what it's called.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: There's more words than that.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_08: That's a uh that's an explaining of what differentiation is, which I'm going to do here.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_08: This is where you get into the phase of, huh?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_08: We talked about this in the beginning of a relationship, but I haven't heard anything about it anymore, and there's no been there's no action have been taken on it.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: So now we're not talking about the things that we have in common anymore.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: We're talking about the things that are different about us.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: And we're in the brought it up, like I really love going to the movies.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: And you were like, Yeah, it's not my favorite activity, you know.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: I I tend not to do that very much.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: And then we moved on with the conversation and never brought it up again.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_08: In the honeymoon phase.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: In the honeymoon phase.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: But now that we're comfortable, yes, we're wearing our PJs, throwing our hair up in a bun, no makeup.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_08: Or we've seen the light.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: I've we've come out of the five.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_08: Coming off the high.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, well, wait a minute, I really enjoy going to the movies.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: I thought I brought up that I really like going to the movies.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: Why haven't we gone to a movie?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_08: Or or done that certain type of play before.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_08: We haven't used a paddle or a vlogger in a long time.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: Why haven't we done any impact?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_08: Yes.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: I thought I mentioned that I really love impact.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_08: Remember that contract we talked about very early in the beginning?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_08: We haven't done any kind of work on that whatsoever.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_08: There's no actual contract out.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: And then you remember, well, yeah, we know we did talk about that.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I mentioned that I don't like going to the movies and I don't like vlogging, and then so we just dropped it.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: But did we?
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_07: Your role play is very, very much on point right now.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: Isn't it?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_07: It's very much.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: I love it when I can break you.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: This is great.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: Keep going.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_07: You really idiot right now.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_07: I am.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_07: I wonder why.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: I wonder why I never get I wonder why I never get to go to the movies, and the partner's like, well, I know why we don't go to the movies because I mentioned that I don't like movies, so why would I want to go to the movies when I've already told you I don't like doing that?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_07: Yes.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_07: So we're gonna stop there in those first two phases because I'm picking up on this pretty quick.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: Let's keep going.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_08: No, no, this is not the podcast.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_08: We're ranting right now, and I like the way you're coming right now.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_08: They're very passive.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_08: I like it.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_08: Um, but yes, I want to rant on the fact that I did not know that this was a second phase of a thing and that you were supposed to do this in a relationship.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_08: I thought you were just supposed to focus on the stuff you had in common.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: But why would you do that?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_08: Why would I think that, or why would I do that in action?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Both.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Why would you think that?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_08: Because as I was growing up, and this is my rant, I did not know this.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_05: Because you know what?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_05: They don't teach this shit in school.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_08: I'm so mad after all this time, I did not know this.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_08: But then people want to judge you, be like, oh, I like them.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_08: Why are you guys not together anymore?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_08: It's like, because I didn't go through differentiation.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_08: And people look at you like, what the fuck is differentiation?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_08: And it's like a very important phase of a relationship.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_08: You should take note of what you don't have in common and be able to uh figure out if there's a balance there between what you have in common with your person and don't have in common.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I don't think it personally, I don't think it's whether or not you have a balance with what you don't have in common.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's being able to still come to the table as an individual with differences and different things that you do have in common.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: And if that is something that doesn't match your partner, how can you still have it fulfilled within your life?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_02: Or is it important enough that it still should be fulfilled?
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, you could you jump the gun there, Ms.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_08: Roo.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_08: Because um the uh the third phase, which we weren't gonna go into, but we'll talk about it, is called individuation.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: About the fact that you're still an individual even though you're in a relationship, and that you don't lose your personal identity because you choose to walk the life with another person who was also an individual before they met you, and while they're with you?
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_05: Seriously, your relationship does not identify you.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: Your relationship doesn't identify you.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: You mean so what you're saying is even though I choose to be with this person and I love this person or have these feelings for this person, I still put my own pants on, make my own decisions, and have my own personal ideology and perspective on life, and have likes and dislikes outside of what we agree on and enjoy within our relationship?
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, you are a human being.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: You know what?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_08: Without even without your relationship.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: How is this shit not on a billboard?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_08: I'm telling you what, this is my rant.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_08: I'm upset.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: How did you not know this?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_08: I did not know this because I was not raised.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_08: They didn't teach it to me in school.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_08: All I know is being taught in school.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_08: There's nothing else.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_08: It's not like they, you know, make a sitcom or a TV show about this.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_08: No, this is not what they do.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_08: People argue and then they don't have stuff in common and they break up.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_08: That's it.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know what else they don't you know what else they don't talk about?
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: Is how this isn't one-dimensional or one-directional.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_02: Because you can start at one and go to three and then go back to two, and then maybe go back to one because you found out that there was something that you didn't your partner introduced you to.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: So now you're back in the phase because you found something new to have in common and you know, or like holy shit, I didn't realize that I really love rope until I met somebody who did rope.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: And even though I said I don't like rope, I did rope with this person.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: Now we're back to one.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: How about that?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_05: It's multi-directional is it called a spectrum?
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: No, it it's called an ebb and flow.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_05: An ebb and flow.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: And that you should be able to ebb and flow in and out of these stages, and that ultimately is what made a healthy, productive relationship.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: I would argue.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you were stagnant in one stage, are you ever really growing as an individual and a couple?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_08: I would argue that knowing about the fact that there are stages can be very helpful as well.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know that I think I think that's the misconception.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's where you're missing your mark.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: Is it's not the fact that you didn't know about these stages.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's the fact that you didn't know that there was a category of stages.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_05: All of that.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_05: I didn't know the stages existed.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: Right, but you didn't know them as stages.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: They were things that you had encountered, and there were things that you were aware of.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: You were aware of that.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_08: My gut told me something was wrong.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: But you were aware of the fact that you were going to connect with a person on a lot of mutual things.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: And you personally were aware that there were going to be things that you didn't agree on or didn't see eye to eye on.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: Correct.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: But be it play styles, food, music, whatever the case may be, hobbies.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: But you were also aware that you brought your own individuality to the relationship and that you had the ability to stand on your own within a relationship, regardless of what your partner liked.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Now you always hope that you can introduce them that you always hope you can introduce them to board games.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: And that they might not love them, but they can tolerate them or they can have an interest in them, or they can love the fact that you love them.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: But you've known that these stages exist, you've just never had the words to identify them.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: So that you could better negotiate and navigate them in a healthy way instead of tripping on them when they happen.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, kind of.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_08: I didn't I I didn't know there was a difference.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_08: You see what I'm saying?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, so I didn't know.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: So now that there's words and there's boundaries and there's definitions to what these individual stages that happen within a relationship or multiple times with multiple people, because we are poly, you know.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: Then now you can be more aware of it when it's happening instead of tripping over it and constantly recovering, which is the difference between proactive and reactive within a relationship.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_08: Or thinking it's bad because you have multiple things you don't have in common.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, oh, and it's not bad, it's just a new negotiation.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_08: Which now I'm wean aware of, which is why we're here at Around the Kinky Campfire.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_08: We're here to educate through awareness.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_08: Now you're aware of what the different phases are.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: But we just got through three.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, those two.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_08: Three.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_08: That's fine.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_08: Technically, we didn't even hit the three.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_08: We foreshadowed three.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, foreshadowed three.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_08: We d we told you about two, but there's there's five or seven or whatever.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_08: But the point is, I'm ranting, so we're not gonna talk about all that today.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_08: But damn it, there's you got to rant?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: But are you more?
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: But are you more upset about the fact that there are actual phases?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like, who did you expect to teach this to you?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: This is not part of public education.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_05: That's my rant.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_05: Why is it not part of public education?
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, why and why should it be?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because we all have relationships.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it's not our job to teach other people's children how to navigate their relationships.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_08: Ooh, there we go.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_08: What's your rant?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_08: Do you want to say why who should be the ones teaching?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_02: Not the public education system.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_08: Who sh who should be teaching?
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: Not the public education system.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's all you're gonna say?
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's a good thing.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because they can get no because they because they can get it from a number of different places depending on the environment that they're raised in.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: They can get it from parental units, they can get it from their number one in my religious organizations.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_08: They could not the G O D, the G A W D, like God damn it.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: They can get it from their religious there are very healthy relationship aspects to a lot of religious organizations out there.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_08: Have you talked to like a religious leader person about relationships?
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_08: Yes.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_08: You have?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: I was raised in a religion.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: And it was good.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: It was good for the people.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_05: You should abstain and not do anything, and then God will lead the way.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't say it was good.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: I it said it could be good for them because there are people who are just want to know it.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_05: Was it good or not?
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: Not for me.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: They can get it from therapy.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_05: Hopefully.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it and sometime gonna burst your little bubble there.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_02: Not everything has to be taught to you for you to learn it.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: Some things just need to be learned.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_07: Like making the mistakes.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_07: Yes.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_07: Burning the bridges in the city.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_07: Oh God.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: Some things just need to be learned.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: Because did you learn the lessons that you were taught?
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: Were those ingrained more in your brain when you learned them from a professor in a classroom?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: Or when you made the mistake and had to live through it and and learn how it affected you personally by going through it?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: I would say yes.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: Which lessons resonated with you more and played a bigger part in developing who you are as a person.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_08: Now I will say this.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_08: I'll say Julius, not Sir Urric.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_08: I know personally, because I've done the shadow work, I need both.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_08: I need first give me an outline of what you were doing, say say for math or for the thing.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: But that's not realistic.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_08: It can be.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_02: You cannot be given an outline for every life lesson that you need to be able to know to navigate this without problem.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: Why would you want to walk this earth without obstacles?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_08: I could I would say that learning about it beforehand lessens the obstacle and also helps me personally learn from my mistake when I say, oh, that was it.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_08: Like I was being judgy, which is something I learned recently.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_08: I would say I personally developed more now knowing what judgy is and also knowing the science of being judgy.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: And see, this is this is gonna be a debate within communities.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: Is it better to teach people what to do and how to do it the right way?
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_07: I think people have to.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: Or is it better to create a safe environment of which people can learn and learn from the mistakes that they make.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: But you see what I'm saying?
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: But you're you're advocating for the everything should be taught in a lesson.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm advocating for everything should be taught in an environment that is safe and productive for people to be able to fall in their face and learn the lessons they need to learn for them individually.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_08: I'm actually on both sides.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_08: So I agree with m mine and with yours.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: I would say I mean I have a little camp.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm in education.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I do kink education and I I do it as much as I possibly can for the right reasons, right?
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: So obviously I believe in the education platform to be able to provide people with the information that they need.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: However, for life lessons, for relationship left, for DS lessons, I can stand on a stage and I can teach a class about being a dominant.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_02: I can give them definitions, I can give them scenarios, I can give them examples, I can even provide life lessons of things that I have learned in being a dominant, and it will not prepare them for being a dominant of another person.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: I agree.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: However, I can create or help to create, I can give them the definitions, and I can always provide the examples, and I can be available for advice and guidance and create the environment for which they can go out and be a dominant and have the safety net to be able to make the mistake and learn from them because they are relevant to them personally.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, I agree.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_02: I uh I agree you need both in moderation, not one to me.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's it should be a combat, it should it shouldn't be one or the other.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's gotta be a little bit of both.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_02: But to me, more experience, less formal education when we're talking about soft skills.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: Hard skills, I can stand in front of a class and I can throw I can teach anybody how to throw a flogger.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: Literally anybody.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: I can teach you an under an hour, never touched one before, being able to effectively and with the accuracy and fun throw a flogger.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_02: I can't that's a hard skill.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_02: We can teach that.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_02: We can teach you how to hit with a cane, we can teach you how to do a single collar, we can teach you how to do electro, how to do fire, basic fire.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: We can teach all that with assurety, all of the things.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_02: But when you start talking about soft skills, when you're starting to involve the any individual other than yourself, you can't finitely teach to cover anything that could possibly come up or that they would experience.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: You can only give basics, you can give definitions so that we are all speaking the same language, yeah.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: We're all using words, but then you have to create the environment.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, good luck with that part.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_08: Because yeah, but yes, you need both.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_08: I would say for me personally, I need 50-50 because knowing the definition is just like gaslighting.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_08: It's a very popular thing in the last year.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_08: We didn't know about that in the 90s, we didn't know what it was.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we we we knew about it, but we didn't have a word for it.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, we knew the the concept, yeah.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: The concept was alive and thriving, but we didn't have a word for it.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_08: And also, I didn't know I was doing it, so no, I didn't know what it was.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_08: I thought that was just a normal thing.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_08: So you just argue it.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_08: So yeah, knowing what it is now, even though it's overused, but I'll just use that as an example because all the people know what it is now.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_08: Uh, knowing what it is and knowing that it was bad was very helpful to me.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_08: Wish I would have known it earlier in life because yeah, that's that's not a good thing to do, and I was just not aware of what I was doing.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_08: I thought that was just a normal thing in relationships, another thing bringing up being brought up in the culture.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_08: But yeah, having both, being taught, being um made aware of the thing, and then also being able to practice it.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_08: Uh definitely why I want to do the coaching thing because yeah, I want to be the person in helping somebody do both, which with the hard skills and the soft skills.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_08: Not so much the hard skills, because that's the actual skill, you just do that.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_08: But having the soft skills, having a direction of where you're going and actually working on that actual skill.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_02: No, I think there's I think there's benefit in creating a class where this can be applied to dynamics and interpersonal relationships with D.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_08: That's another thing, too, that people probably not aware of, is that that relates to the kink in the B E S M, which people don't like, yes, but you can take this and and relate it.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_02: Very much so, because you see this in new dynamics.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: They get in it, they meet somebody.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, how many times have we met a submissive type, an S-type, that has always been an S-type, they identify as an S-type, but they've never had a dominant, they've never had somebody that actually wanted to take that authority and and have that authority over them, and then they meet one.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_02: They meet a top who can do all of the things to them that they've always dreamed of, that want to take that authority, want to take that control, want to take that power, all of the things, right?
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then you've got the D type that's like, holy shit, I finally found somebody that let me do the things to them.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I've always wanted to do these things before, and I've taken all the classes, all the things.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna control what panties they wear, I'm gonna control what color shirt they wear, I'm gonna control what food they eat, I'm gonna control what they go to the bathroom, I'm gonna get to do all these things.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: And they're in stage one and they frenzy, and they're doing all the things, and they think they've negotiated, they think they have got it all figured out, even though they've never done it before.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: And then something happens.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's a month, sometimes it's five months, sometimes it's a week.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: Something happens when they were like, Well, no, I don't want to do it.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_02: I thought I told you I wasn't in it.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, I heard you, but I mean, like, but we've already done all these things.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to try that?
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_02: No, I really don't want to try that.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: But if you want to do it with somebody else, I'm okay with that.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_02: Well, why opens a whole can of worms?
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: Now, what do they do?
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_02: They sever the diamond because the diamond supposed to be bad because we're not agreeing.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_08: That's great.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_08: Because they didn't know about differentiation.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_08: Renegotiating.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_08: That's why we always broadcast on this podcast to uh negotiate all the time.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_08: Gotta negotiate.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_02: Or when the one partner introduces, well, I want to do rope play.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I didn't.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: I I thought I said I don't like Well, yeah, you said you don't.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean, like, I really remember I said I liked the can we do the rope thing?
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: No, I really don't want to do the rope thing.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_02: Are we really compatible?
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_08: Or the partner that that uh decided well it's not really decided, they realize they want to switch roles, or the person that had a you know monogamous or vanilla relationship and decided, oh, I want to be kinky or poly all of a sudden after 15 years.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_08: All these different things.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_02: It can be applied all the way across the board.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: So when you are in your uh symbiosis, when you're in the symbiosis stage, the first stage, right?
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: Does does any of this research and any of this information give you a ballpark guesstimated time of about how long that stage lasts?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_08: They usually say up to two years.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's the first two years.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_08: That's what they say up to two years, yeah.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_08: But I'm just starting this because I just learned about this.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_08: But um, yeah, I would love to see if there's a timeline for all the different phases and see about like about when that that happened.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_08: And also would like to see people that would go into the four and the five.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_08: It's like that's probably where the people are like 50, 60, 70 year relationship.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_08: They did this on their own without even knowing.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: Without knowing there was a thing that they were doing.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_05: So that's the magic cure right there.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_08: All right.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_08: So moving on to the next rant.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_08: You don't have a rant?
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_08: You don't have one?
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm good.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: This was fun.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Another one.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, yeah.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: I see that you love it.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, so let's talk about terms.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_02: Terms.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_08: Yes.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like words?
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_08: Uh yeah, all all the different uh kink, let's just do kink and BDSM terms.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_08: Have you gone onto our favorite website?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_02: We have a favorite website, yeah.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_08: Good old Fet Life.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_08: Um, have you seen the number of roles and um they've increased.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: Again.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, again.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: Again, they've broadened.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_08: They keep adding more.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_02: Well, of course.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_02: Look at our society.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_02: We keep adding more things to our society.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, and I keep putting it on the website, which is interesting.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_08: Haven't been on the website for 10 plus years, the recent changes that they've had.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's a lot.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_02: I remember when there was very basic roles you could choose from, whether it fit you or not.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_08: And they actually give you a definition of what all the roles are.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_02: They do?
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, they do.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_08: I'm not gonna go there because there's so many.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_08: But anyways.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, no, you can't bring it up and then not pull it up and let me see.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_02: So why is this a rant?
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_08: My rant is there are people that even identify as educators that don't?
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: Not yet.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_08: That don't want to explain the differences or haven't taken the time to explain the differences between the different roles and definitions and terms.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_01: Can you give an example?
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really want to.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, come on.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_08: They have trouble with the the rack, the SSC, and the flick.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: What about prick?
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_08: And prick.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: They have trouble like defining the difference, but they have the de Yes.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_08: And they have they have issues with the concept of the different definitions.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_05: She okay, so they do understand that.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: And they are educators.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_02: That the abbreviations have evolved, which is why they're different with time and society.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: There's too many letters.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_08: And they have trouble with the the alphabet can be.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's society has is still adjusting to that.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so, of course, b with this being a subset of society, there is going to be learning curves everywhere.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's just a matter of some people's learning curves are bigger than others.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_02: Some sex of society's curves are bigger than others.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_08: My thing is, why are you confessing to be an educator on the space or have a social media platform where you produce content, but you have trouble with this?
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_08: But everybody has their own opinion.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_08: That's a small rant for my ideas.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so that would go back to our previous podcast on the difference between calling in and calling out.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: Why are why are people seeing that's one of the things that I preach to people vet your educators?
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: Don't take a class just because they decide to offer one.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what are they teaching?
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: Why are they teaching it?
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_02: Where have they taught before?
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: What communities are they involved in?
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_02: You need to vet your educator.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: Just because I'm standing on the stage doesn't mean that I'm important.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_02: It means I got picked.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's another thing.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_08: You want to talk about that whole process?
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_08: I don't think a lot of people know this.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_08: Like I didn't know you had to apply to the city.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you need to apply.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_02: Well, for convention, you have to apply to any presenter.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, people are presenters, you can get invited.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: But with conventions, you have to apply to be a presenter, and then they vet you.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: You have to provide references of people that you that will um give a reference for you that will vet you.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_02: You have to list where have you taught previously, what have you taught previously?
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: You have to provide contact information for them to be able to contact those people, and they will vet all of their presenters.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_02: One, to see if you're in good standing and capable of presenting.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_02: And two, does do you align with the view and the vision of the convention and the education that they're wanting to provide?
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_05: See, I didn't know all that.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_05: That's interesting.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so just because somebody stand, and even then when you're at a convention, good educators will tell you that vet my class, vet me as a presenter.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_02: Don't sit in here and listen to my class and just take my word as is, do your research.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_02: Just like you would a partner, just like you would a play partner.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_08: Just like you would do for podcasts.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_08: Don't listen to us, just do research.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: And just like you would do for a job.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_02: Vet them.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_02: See, dig into their background and see if they're worthy of listening.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_02: Now you can sit in somebody's class and you can always choose what you take from it.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_02: I have had classes that I have sat in that have been horrible, absolutely horrible.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: Did not agree with anything that the presenter was saying, didn't agree with what they were presenting, didn't agree with their ideology behind it, their reasoning behind it.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_02: However, it taught me how not to be.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: I learned lessons on how not to do things.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: I learned lessons on how not to sat on how not to how how ineffective ways to resolve com uh conflict in my in the community based off their information.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_02: So just because you sit in somebody's class, don't be okay with what you get from that class.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_02: You don't always have to have an epitome.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_02: You don't always have to have this glowing light bulb moment where you learn something monumental.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_02: You might learn something like I never want to do that.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: I never want to experience that.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: I never want to sound like so be okay, but you still have to vet.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_08: So always vet.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_08: And very quickly, since we're on the education topic, do you want to tell us the difference between kink and BDSM?
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's just to go back to what we're doing.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_05: We're going back! We gotta go back, kink and BDSM.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: So what are these roles?
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of they actually have wait a minute, they now have a section for looking for and not looking for.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_02: I've never seen the not looking for before.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_08: Oh yes.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_08: So as somebody that uses FetLife as a dating app, when you message somebody, there's a little pop-up that comes up and it says not looking for.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_08: So before you send a message, there's a notification that says what the person is not looking for.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_02: I don't really need to go fix my profile.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, and then it goes on to say, like, if you still want to message this person, you can, but this isn't now.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: This is a brand new message, not a reply to an existing thread.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_08: This is when you message somebody for the first time.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_08: So yeah, it's a little a little pop-up that can be.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_02: I've never seen the not looking for.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_02: This is intriguing.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_08: Chrome has AI now, which we can talk about again.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_08: Um, so yes, there's a bunch of this is a big old list now.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_08: Wow, look at that.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_08: This is I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, and then towards the bottom we have undecided and vanilla, of course.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_08: Facilitator, munch organizer.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, look at that.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: Circus master?
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_02: Circus master.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: Do they have cat wrangler?
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_08: Uh there's a feral menace and a chaos gremlin.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_02: Chaos coordinator.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_08: Chaos gremlin tamer.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_08: You can be oh goblin king.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_08: Oh add a bunch of them.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_08: Witch wizard, yes, werewolf.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_08: Ooh, I'm a werewolf.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_08: I'm a werewolf.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_08: Little monster, I guess succubus, incubus, I want chaos, chaos coordinator.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_08: That'd be amazing.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_08: Chaos organized chaos.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't see that one.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_08: Vampirus, demon.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_08: You probably add it on here.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_08: Goodness gracious.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, this is all the stuff that's on here now.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_08: Fairy Kink Mother, just a straight pervert.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_08: I mean, aren't we all?
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_08: Um Mentor, Protector, Drag King, Dragon.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so when you're picking each level, you don't food slut.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_02: Have you added that to yours?
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_08: You can only have five.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_08: That's the problem.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_08: So they added these things.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_08: But then you can only have five.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_08: You can only have five.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_08: So you gotta like rotate it out.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_08: Food daddy.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_02: I think food slut should be at the top of your list.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_08: Give me a cheeseburger.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_08: I'm telling you what.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_08: Poor myself out.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_08: Electro button, electro switch.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_08: So very specific needle.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_08: And then they have all these specific ones, but then you can only do five.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_08: I don't understand this.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_08: Wax slut, boot bitch, boot black, leather pony, leather slut, leather man, leather pub, latex, adult baby, tickly, banking, bondage slut, I really need to get on here more.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_08: Solo player.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_08: Uh man, that just made me think of a Reddit post that somebody put up.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_08: They they want to get more kink experience, but solo.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_08: So go to classes.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_08: They would they want to they want to practice.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: But solo.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, and they specifically like losing control and being bound, but solo.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, no, there's people that do self-bondage.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, but they they want to have the loss of control.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_02: But you can do that.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_02: That's so easy.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_08: Screams danger.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_08: Getting stuck in a position you can't get out of.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_02: So they make they make devices with timers.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: And you can do self-bondage and connect like lock, whatever you're doing, or keep it just out of distance for a certain time that you set on this timer, and then when the timer goes off, it either opens up and gives the key or opens up the bondage that you're in.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_02: So you can you can ex absolutely experience that yourself and and do it solo.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_08: I should respond to their posts.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_08: I didn't know you could do that.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_08: Or share it with you and just wanted to talk about it.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's a lot of people who love bondage and love like helplessness and they create situations that as long as the timer is going, they are stuck where they are.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_08: That's interesting.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_08: I would like to see what that looks like.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_02: But this but this existed before technology because you could do it with ice.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_02: There's people who did self-imposed chastity, like men who did self-imposed chastity, where they would take the chastity device and they would put it on and they would lock it.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_02: And it's a trick I've I've used.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_02: And you put it put a piece of string around the key, and then you hang the string over the top of a cup so that the key is dangling in the middle of the cup, right?
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't lay on the bottom but dangles in the middle of the cup.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_02: You put water in the cup and put it in the freezer, and you are now stuck in this chastity device until the ice melts.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_08: That one I've heard.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_08: Have you ever made them use their body heat while bound to get the key out?
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_02: You could do that.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean, like, so people will put the we'll put it on and then go through the ritual of security and ice.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_02: And you can make the ice as big like so however long you want to be the thing is how big the ice.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_02: I've seen I have personally put string on a key and and dropped it into the very middle of a two-liter, empty two-liter bottle, and then filled it with water and then put it in the freezer.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so therefore it takes thaw.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: Once it's taken out, it takes a while to freeze, yeah, then takes a while to thaw.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, you just have to let it sit on the counter and thaw.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, all the way out like that.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_02: You see what I'm saying?
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_02: So you could do it in a you could do it in a rocks class glass, like where so it's a short amount of time.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_02: So the bigger the container, the longer it takes for you to be able to get out.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_02: So you can do it if you don't trust technology, you're like, oh, well, what if the battery dies?
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_02: Or what if the technology doesn't work?
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to have technology to do it.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_02: You can do it with ice.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_05: That's a good call.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_05: Put it somewhere where you can't get it.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_02: Now, if you're really adventurous, old school, really adventurous, people would take, like said chastity keys, right?
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: Not promoting this, but I'm saying it was done.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_02: And they would mail it to themselves.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_02: So they would put it in a padded envelope, and they would go to the post office and they would put it in the post office box with their address.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_02: What if it gets lost?
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_02: And they would mail the key.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_02: So then it was a waiting game on when the mail came.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_02: Is is this the day that the mail came?
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_08: You could post date it too.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_08: You could.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_08: My armpits are sweaty thinking about it.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_02: So there's many ways that you can do something.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_02: Something lost mail.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_08: Mail, M-A-M-A-M-I-L.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_08: M-A-I-L.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_08: It just makes me nervous.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, speaking of mail, so my neurodivergent ass stopped checking my mail, and I didn't know.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_08: If the mail mail person can't put mail in there, they make you a vacant plane.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_07: So you actually have to go to the post office to get your mail turned back on.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_07: Because they send your mail back.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_07: I just learned this.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_07: Wow.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_07: From personal.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_08: Like I said, people, I'm here to educate you through my mistakes.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_08: Don't let your mail sit out for too long and not check your mailbox because if the mail person can't put mail in the mailbox, they send it back to the post office and they return it to the sender because you didn't check it.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_02: You can give the key to a trusted friend who has it at an undisclosed location until a certain designated date and time.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_02: And no matter what, they can't give it back to you.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_08: This is a good call.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_08: When they were talking about, I was thinking about ropes.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_02: You can give it to a friend and say, okay, I want you to hold it for a minimum of two weeks, but don't tell me when you're going to give it back to me.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_08: I don't know if that still counts as solo for them, though.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_02: Why not?
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_02: They don't have access to well, I mean, yeah, I guess it's maybe because you're involving another person.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean, like, it's not a good idea.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_02: They're just a they're just a conduit.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_02: They're just, you know, a block of ice.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_02: They're not involved in it.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_02: There's no interaction.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_02: There's no exchange of power.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_08: They're just literally And also this is my bias too, because when they said solo, I thought they meant by themselves, and I was like, I don't know.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_08: So yeah.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_08: Well, I mean, there's a difference.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_02: People who do solo rope who self-tie.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_02: People self-tie all the time.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_08: That's different.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_08: This person was specifically saying they wanted to like have the loss of control by themselves.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so solo bondage.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, they didn't mention anything.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_08: No, it's a thing.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's a very old concept.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's been around a very long time.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_05: I did not know.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, they lost me.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_08: I found my new role, Primal Centralist.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_02: Is that before or after Food Slut?
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_08: I would say before because Food Slut, I would definitely need a partner for that.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_08: Because I'm slutting it out.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_02: No, I thought Food Slut was like you were just a slut.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_02: For food.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_02: Does it have anything to do with your partner?
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_05: It does.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_05: I need somebody to give me the food.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_02: You don't just go get it yourself?
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_05: No.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_05: I need the food somebody to do it.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_02: So you just go get it yourself.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_05: I need somebody to bring me the food.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_05: The actual bringing of the food.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't make you a food.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_05: That makes me a food.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_05: No, because I turn into a slut when they give me food.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: You're ridiculous.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_08: But I am.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_08: I'm ridiculous.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_08: There's no there's no role for that.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_08: There's no role for that.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_08: A primal sensualist.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_08: So I'm going to add that.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_08: You can be a duck.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_02: You can be a duck?
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_08: You can be a duck.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_08: An otter, we know what an otter is.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_08: Squirrel possum.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I almost want to pick a duck.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_08: So this must be the critter folks.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_08: That makes sense.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_08: Still have not met a duck.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_08: That's interesting.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_08: Sissy, phantom cuck queen, cockolders, vixen, cuck cake.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_08: Okay, so these are making more sense now.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_02: So is it a chew toy?
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_08: I need I need a chew thorough.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_02: I know people who enjoy being chew toys.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_08: That's uh that's on my negotiation sheet.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_02: To be a chew toy?
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_08: I need that booty.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_08: Need them booty cheeks.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_08: Pillow queen, brat wrangler.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_08: Oh my god.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_08: Not just a brat tamer or a brat wrangler.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_08: Oof, I need that.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_08: How am I supposed to just choose five?
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_08: Cuddle slut.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_08: I'm 100% a cuddle slut.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's in there?
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's a cuddle slut.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_02: So which one comes first?
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_02: Cuddle slut or food slut?
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_08: God, you're killing me right now.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_02: You have to choose five.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_08: See, this is my neurodivergent this is where I shut the website now because my neurodivergence is.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_08: I burnt out.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_08: I burnt out.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_08: I burnt out two roles ago.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_08: This is my problem.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_08: This is why I don't have pictures of myself.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_08: Edge top, edge switch.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_08: Oh my god.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_08: Because I can't decide um what I want to be.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_08: Primal Satal masochist.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_08: Oh my god.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_02: You're missing the most beautiful point about this whole experience and lifestyle.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's true.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_02: You can always change it.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_08: You want to rant about that?
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_02: You can always update it.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_08: Do we have too many roles now?
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_02: What you are now doesn't mean that that's how that's what you have to be a year from now.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_08: That's very true.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_02: But then Why are they letting me into five things?
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_05: I could be ten things at at this time next year.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_02: But maybe that's the the essence of mystery.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're just presenting five, and somebody has to get to know the other five.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_02: That's true.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_02: So what do you want the public to know compared to what do you want?
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_02: But here's the thing.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_02: What do you want the public to know compared to what what do you want your the people who take the time to create an interpersonal relationship with you to know?
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_02: Is that on there?
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_02: I can be a bitch.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_02: Holy shit, I can be a madam bitch.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_08: So now I have to go in there and figure out what I'm gonna be.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_02: So that could be the defining difference for you is what would you want your public persona to be and what was what is only reserved for the people that have earned your interpersonal relationship.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_08: So I'm I'm starting to go by Julius on all the things now, and Julius is an open person.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_08: Julius doesn't care.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_08: So they can learn all the different things.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_08: I can tell you when last time I went poop.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_08: Speaking of poop, there was green donuts that I had access to.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_08: Krispy Kreme, green donuts on St.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_08: Patty's Day that I had like a dozen.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_00: You ate a dozen?
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_08: Almost.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_08: Almost by myself, yes.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_08: Krispy Kreme.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_08: They looked weird because they were green and they looked that kind of green, where it's like, damn, that's is that moldy?
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_08: But they tasted fantastic.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_08: I had almost a dozen of those green donuts.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_05: Guess what happened the day after?
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_08: Somebody was still seeing green going swirling swirling down on the Super Bowl.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_08: I took the the brown.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_08: I didn't take the browns to the Super Bowl.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_08: I took the greens.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_02: The Eagles.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, this is disgusting.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: We're not talking about this.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_07: Poople.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_07: People were talking about poople.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, we are not.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_02: Hard limit.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_02: Such a run of time.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have a rant.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_02: About what?
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_02: I've talked.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_08: I just want to get on the fucking the whole thing that started on this rant was the thing I talked about earlier.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_08: This fucking politics is not a political podcast, but god damn it, they're really forcing me to do my political education.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_08: It's fucking annoying.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, darn.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_02: And in uh election time too, how the shame of it all that you have to actually there is a certain person that's going from the state level to the national level.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_02: Not anymore.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_08: So you even know how I'm talking about.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_08: Good.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_02: Not anymore.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_08: I hope they trip and I don't know.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_02: They my ass.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_02: They're trying to promote not they.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_02: He fell flat on his ass, and I am all about it.
• 51:25
  unknown: God.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, I I heard about something, so I'm glad it finally.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_08: But there's other ones out there, like the whole anti-abortion bullshit that's going on.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_08: How can you be a taxpaying adult in this country and not have a right to a choice?
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_08: I don't understand this.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_02: Why is this just now pissing you off when women have been dealing with this since our existence in this country?
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_08: I haven't had a problem.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_02: Why is it now pissing you off?
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_02: It didn't evidently piss everybody off when we didn't have the right to vote.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_02: It didn't piss everybody off when we didn't have a right to own a car, when we didn't have a right to own a house, when we couldn't have a bank account, we couldn't have property in our name.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_02: It didn't peep it didn't piss people off back then.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: It pissed the people off that it affected.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_08: Are we talking about the actual past?
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't that distance of a past.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, there was other things that were going on that weren't that distant in the 1960s.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't that distant, and it didn't piss off the people except for the people that it affected.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_08: Let's just say I choose my battles.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_08: Um if you're seeing me in person, Ms.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_08: Roo, you know there's other battles.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_08: I'm just saying I could be having being pissed about.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just talking about you're pissed, and I appreciate the fact that people are passionate about the fact that people should have autonomy over their body, but it is not a new concept.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_08: My thing is they gave it place now where it's illegal to do stuff and for people to have a choice.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_08: And they're criminalizing the doctors.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_02: They went backwards.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_08: Yes, that's that's my issue.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_08: Like, why are we still fighting for this now when we're trying to move forward?
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_02: We thought we already did this.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_02: Why are we back to it?
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_05: How can they like and then they go back and just do this and what the fucking shit?
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_08: Anyways, that's what I'm saying.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_08: My thing with that is there are people, individuals out there that are spreading their opinions and then making it everybody's problem.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_02: They're called politicians.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's their job.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_08: Did you ever hear that politics is uh celebrity for ugly people?
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_08: I'm not even joking.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_08: That's an actual thing.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_08: That's what people say.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_08: A celebrity for ugly people.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_08: Just think about that.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_08: I'm not even not even me that said that, okay?
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_08: That's an actual thing that people say.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_08: Celebrity for ugly people.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_08: You want to be famous to be ugly, you gotta be a politician.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_08: Doppel.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_08: But, anyways, that's what they say.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_08: I believe it.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_08: Because yeah, that's some bullshit.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_08: Like, I mean, how okay.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_08: My yeah, it's when you have your you have your own opinion.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_08: I have no problem with that.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_08: You have your way, you were born, you have you can be whatever affiliation you want.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_08: But my problem is when your affiliation interfects my life or anybody else's life, you should have your opinion, but you can't tell people what they can't do and then make it illegal for doing that to their body.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_08: That shit.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_08: That's what got me started on the rant.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_08: And then the the side thing with the not knowing the definitions but proclaiming to be an educator.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_08: Quick fun game that we're gonna switch over to.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_08: We're gonna be happy people now.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_08: I just uh I have a platform and I want to rant about it.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_08: You're gonna know my opinion.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_08: If you want to hire me for my services, you're gonna know where I lean.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_02: Fun game.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_08: Julius is here.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_08: Have you heard of the rating game?
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_08: Could have been on TikTok, TikTok trend.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_08: No.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_08: So the rating game goes like this.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_08: You say, however, whatever person you want to talk about, this mythical person.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_08: They are an eight, but.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_08: And then you either list a negative or a positive, and then you change the rating based off of that.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_02: So Oh, rating.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_02: Not rating.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're rating the refrigerator.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_08: Rating?
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_02: I heard rating.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're rating.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_02: Rating.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_02: I have heard of this.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_08: Do you want to play?
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_02: So they're they're a 10, but they um they're a 10, but they pee in the shower.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_02: So now they're a seven.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_08: Ooh, good one.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_08: They're a seven for you?
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't care if they pee in the shower as long as they don't aim at me.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, I thought you were going to go serious.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_02: No, but I mean, like, I was giving an example of like what the game is about.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I didn't.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_08: I I was going to give you an example.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_08: We're going to take that seriously because that's an actual controversial thing.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_08: There's a, there's a, there's a spectrum, there's a bias on that.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_08: Some people hate it and some people don't.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_08: Am I in the shower?
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_08: Am I in the shower or am I by myself?
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't care if somebody pees in the shower, period.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_02: Whether you're in there or not with it.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_07: See what sad is 100%.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_08: Um so yeah, if I'm in the shower, don't pee, which I I don't have an opinion on showering.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_08: We can do that too.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_08: They're an eight, but they want you to take a shower with them.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, then they're a nine.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_08: Four.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_08: Four.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, total nine.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_08: I don't know.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_08: I don't need to put my private time.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_08: Pooping, pee, and showering.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_08: Private time.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_02: You love showering with somebody.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_08: Uh nope.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_02: They're a nine, but they pee while you're in the shower.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_08: In the toilet or in the shower?
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_08: In the toilet.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_08: And they flush it?
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_08: That's an asshole move.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_08: So what do you change the rating to?
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_02: What do you?
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm saying.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_02: They're a nine, but they use the phone.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_08: That's a funny joke, because you know what's about to happen.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_08: If you know what's about to happen, especially here, I've actually had that happen, and it's like, oh, good one.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, good one.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's still a nine.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_08: There's two showers in here, and or two, there's two bathrooms in here, and whether you use either one, it changes the temperature in the other sh in the shower.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_08: Okay, so yeah, that's funny.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_08: Um I'll go, I'll go light.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_08: They are a six, but they don't like impact.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_08: Impact plate.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_02: So they're probably a four or five from it goes down.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_08: I would still I would I would still say six.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_02: Only because I really enjoy it.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I put it out there.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have to have it with my partner, but it's a bonus if they have to.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_02: But it goes down for you.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_02: A little bit, yeah.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_08: I would still say there's.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_08: A little bit.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_08: Alright, your turn.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_08: So they're a so they're It doesn't have to be all like kink and BSM either.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um they're a nine, but your friends don't like them.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_06: Which friends?
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_02: Your close friends.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_02: Your inner circle doesn't like them.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_06: Still a nine.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_02: Still a nine.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_06: Solo poly.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_06: You had that caveat.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_06: See, if I just don't bring them around then.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_02: I'm done.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_02: If they're an if they're a nine and my friends don't like them, I'm done.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_08: I've actually had that situation.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_08: My friends have literally told me, oh, we like them better.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_02: No, if my friends don't like them.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_08: No, no, no.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_08: Oh.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_08: I'm just saying in real life, and they told that to the person.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_08: We like you the best.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, Because my thing is that you're my friends, they're my friends for a reason.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_02: So they know shit about me that nobody else knows.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_02: They know real I can't bullshit them.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so I could be in that first stage, and they're gonna see things for what they are because they have no emotional ties.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_02: So if my friends don't like somebody, it's for a very damn good reason.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I I trust them because they've been through the gauntlet with me.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so yeah, I will never lose a inner circle friend over somebody else.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, see, I got the the RA, the relationship anarchy.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_08: So there's gonna be people I date that my friends are never gonna meet or family.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_08: Family hasn't met anybody I've dated, so yeah.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_08: I get I get what you're saying.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, not happening.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_02: If my friends come to me and we're and they were like, you know, adamantly that you are making the hugest mistake, we don't like them, they are bad for you, I would be like valid.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_08: Now, do you but do your friends meet every partner or play partner that you're with?
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_02: If they are going to be a significant person to me, then my friends meet them.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_02: Their friends have to meet them.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm too social for them not to.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm too social with my friends.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_02: That they wouldn't meet them.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_02: Good old relationship.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_02: And they usually meet them pretty early.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_08: Interesting.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_08: I got one for you.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_08: They are a 10, but they don't know they don't know bathroom etiquette.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_08: You need an example?
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_08: Say, for example, shower curtain.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_08: Are you a shower curtain open or close person after you get out of the shower?
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, after I get out of the shower?
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_08: Yes.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'll close it before I leave the bathroom.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_08: Okay, I agree with that.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_08: They leave the toy seat up.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's just an annoyance.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_08: That's that's what I'm saying.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_08: This is the rating.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_08: Depends how much it is.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_08: They leave toothpaste residue in the sink.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_08: They don't refill the toilet paper, leave the cotton the cotton, the deal staying on there.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so they're a ten and they do all these things.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_02: They're probably a four.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_08: I think it is a zero.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_08: Probably a four.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like if it's fixable, if it's teachable, then I'm willing to go through the process of that.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_02: So for this one, like I've been through the process of teaching and training, and they don't still do it.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_08: I have a caveat though.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_08: They don't want to change.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, zero.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_02: Total zero.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_02: So they're a three.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_05: Ooh, you start low.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_05: I like this.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so they're a three.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good one.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_02: But they check all of your future check mark.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_02: They have the same, they view their few their future and your future a lot.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_08: So they're a three.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_08: I forgot to say this at the beginning.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_08: When we're talking about ratings, we're talking about purely physical, or what are we including personality?
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't discuss that.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_08: It's up to you.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_08: You can say.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_02: So this is a this is a physical rating.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_02: So that to you, they are a three.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_02: But they check your future check marks.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_08: Killer, demisexual.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_08: This is why I don't talk to everybody.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_08: This is why I live in my introvertism, because I've had that problem before.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_02: So they're not somebody you would pick up at a bar.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_02: There's not somebody that you would click left on on the internet.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_02: But in conversation and spending time around them socially, you realize that all of the things check, but they aren't somebody that you would that would initially catch your eye.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_08: Killing me! This is demisexual.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_08: I have to say 12.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_08: I have to say twelve.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_08: That's rude.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_08: This is why I don't talk to people.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_08: Because there's that initial attraction, and it's like And it's not there.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_02: But then everything else is.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_08: I've had the situation happen.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_06: I had to end it.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_02: So do they become more attractive to you once everything else?
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, demisexual, of course.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_06: What's yours?
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_02: Me?
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_02: If they're a three, but everything in the future, they'll probably go to like a seven or an eight.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_02: I would give them more of the chance to see if the attraction grows with the interest.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, my experience tells me it does because I see them differently.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_05: But then we go into defrayation and nothing changed after two.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_02: But then exactly.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_02: But then you have to get to that stage too.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_08: Oh God, you're killing me with Ugh! All right, one more each.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_08: Oh, I'm so I've had that happen.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_08: This is why I don't talk to people.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_08: It's like you're a cool person, I gotta talk about it.
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_02: I have a physical one for you.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'll go next.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_02: Ready?
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_02: They're an eight.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_02: Physically.
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_08: All right.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, just like spot on, barely could change anything.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_02: But they chew with their mouth open.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's a two.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, I can't do that.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_08: I I I have people that do that, and it's like, I want to slap them across the face.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_08: I have friends that do that.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_08: Friends and family that do that.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_08: And it's like, are you serious?
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_08: You're about to be 40 years, goddamn years old, and you're still chewing your fucking mouth open and talking.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_08: And talking.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: With the spittle.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_08: I'm watching the spittle and where it's hitting.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's so cool.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_08: And I'm counting how many times it happens.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's it's a no for me.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_08: It's a no?
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's a no.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's a zero.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_08: It's like, how are we how are we in older people and you don't understand that eating with your mouth open?
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_08: Oh God, that's so gross.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_02: That was a good one.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_02: That was a very good one.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_02: So as long as they just stand there and never eat around you, they're an eight.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_08: No, because I'm thinking about it.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_02: Because you know they do it.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_08: It's like snoring.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_08: It's just not a thing.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_08: I can't do it.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_02: You would break up over something.
• 1:02:15
  SPEAKER_08: I tell people beforehand.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_08: I tell people beforehand.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_02: Wait a minute.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_02: You would break up over something that they can't control.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_08: It depends on how bad it is, yeah.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_08: They can't control that.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_08: There's ways to control There's ways to control it.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_08: Okay, we're not going to get into this because yes, there's ways.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_08: But yeah, if I'm like, if if you're snoring, I'm going to give you a knee in the ass.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_08: I'm going to wake you up.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_00: All right, one more.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_08: You know I've done this in front of you.
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_00: So two more.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_08: Um okay.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_08: So I'm thinking I want to I can do another high one, but I want to do another one.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_08: I want to try to do a low one because that three got me.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_08: All right.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_08: So they're a five.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, middle of the room.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, looks or personality.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_08: We're doing looks.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_08: Okay, five.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_08: So average.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_08: So personality.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_08: I think personality is too complicated.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_02: So eh?
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_08: They're a five.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_08: I'm trying to get personal now.
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_02: You're trying to, I know.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_08: Um, but they're a um an extrovert that doesn't like to go out.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_08: But when they do, they're very sociable.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_08: But their preference is to stay in.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_02: So they would prefer if I gave them a choice, they would stay in.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, they don't want to do that.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_02: But if I got them out, they're like life of the party.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, they don't want to meet friends, they don't want to go to the places that you usually go to.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_02: But if I get them out, they're the life of the party.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_08: They don't know.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_08: They don't want to do it.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_02: They don't want to do it.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_02: They're just an introvert.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, but you met them and they were they were like the life of the party.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, but the oh, it was a mask.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_08: No.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean, why would they have been out and been the life of the party if they don't like going out and doing things?
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_08: They've been single for six years and they wanted to get laid at some point.
• 1:03:37
  SPEAKER_08: So they're afraid they can do it, but they don't want to do it.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_02: Zero.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_02: Zero.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm too social.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so like so I some people de-stress by like staying home like they've peopled too much and they can't people anymore.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so to go and socialize compounds their peopling and they just can't do it.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_02: Where me, I I work a very people y job.
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_02: I am talked at, talked to, talked with for solid hours out of my day.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so when I need to de-stress, it is it is relaxing for me to be in a sports bar watching a game, being around people doing something social.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's relaxing to me to be at a pool hall with a group of people shooting pool, bullshitting, throwing darts, drinking a beer, eating some wings.
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_02: Going to a Sunday, you know, football game and bar and doing that.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's going to a sporting event, watching a basketball game.
• 1:04:31
  SPEAKER_02: To me, those are two totally different things, and it's relaxing for me.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_02: And now it's also relaxing for me to sit on the couch and hibernate and you know, eat your favorite snack, watch your favorite TV show, and not go anywhere all day.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like I've had enough, I need to reset, I'm gonna stay home.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_02: But on average, I enjoy being social.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, see, for me, that would still be a five.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's it to meet again they never if they never do it though.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_02: Now, if it's one of those where it's like they're half and half, they would still be a five.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_02: Give me the option that we can do it, and then I understand days that we don't, because there are days that I don't.
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, this is the you can get them out, but you're forcing them to go out.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't I don't I I'm not anybody's parent anymore.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_02: I it's not for me to force anybody to do anything.
• 1:05:16
  SPEAKER_02: So you said a zero?
• 1:05:17
  SPEAKER_02: Probably a zero because I couldn't deal with I couldn't deal with that.
• 1:05:21
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I have been in a relationship with an introvert.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_02: I have been in a relationship where where people was hard.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_08: But they could do it when they went out.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_02: They could do it if they knew they were going to.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_02: They could prepare to do it.
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_02: And then even with all of the preparation, they would reach a threshold and hit their done point before I would hit mine.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_08: Um but they did it well, like when you were watching them, they did it well.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_02: They did it well, and they interacted with the people that they wanted to interact with, and they enjoyed the people that they that they did enjoy, but it wasn't their thing.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_02: They were out because of me.
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I've been in that relationship, I've been in that situation, and while we did have fun while we were out, it wasn't the same as somebody who enjoys socializing as much as you do.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_05: So you're not gonna do it anymore.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so I would not want to put myself in a situation where I was with somebody that I felt like their interactions with me like that were for I want them to want to be out, enjoying doing the things with me, just like I would want somebody to want to, if they were an extrovert, I would want and I needed to stay home.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_02: But see, that's where I'm weird like that.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like if I'm an introvert, if if they're an introvert and I'm the extrovert in that situation, if you don't want to go anywhere, you just have to be okay that I still do.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_08: What about if you're both extroverts but they don't want to do social events, a lot of your social event.
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_08: They want to you know they go out and do stuff, but it's usually on their own.
• 1:06:42
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 1:06:43
  SPEAKER_02: We have to have something in common.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_02: We have to be able to do some things or else why are we together?
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_02: We don't have to do everything.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_08: But everything at at home is good.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_08: Because I'm still too social of a Yeah, you can go do social separately.
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_02: But I why why would I no?
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_08: Because everything at home is good.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_08: No good old dick doing all that stuff.
• 1:06:59
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, good dick's good dick, but not good enough to go through that.
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_08: They all they're dynamics fantastic.
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's not evidently not that good of dynamics fantastic.
• 1:07:08
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, sure.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_08: Good with intimacy, romance, and everything.
• 1:07:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:07:12
  SPEAKER_08: Do all the different things.
• 1:07:13
  SPEAKER_02: They can.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_02: But if they can't go out and enjoy being social with me, then no.
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_02: They have to be able to appreciate that they can do their own things on their own and I can do my own things on my own, but there has to be things that we do together.
• 1:07:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it has to be outside the home.
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_08: See, uh, they would only lose like a point.
• 1:07:28
  SPEAKER_02: So I I if I was having an introvert day, I'd be okay with them going and doing.
• 1:07:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, go get it out of your system, go have fun, tell me all about it when you get home.
• 1:07:35
  SPEAKER_02: And you can be okay with me staying home.
• 1:07:37
  SPEAKER_02: Now, if you really want to piss me off, tell me you want to stay home and I go do the thing and then you go do something.
• 1:07:43
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:07:43
  SPEAKER_02: Well, my friend hit me up after you left.
• 1:07:45
  SPEAKER_02: Child, please.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_05: My friend came into town randomly and they hit me up and wanted me to go out with them.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_02: Just don't let me find out afterwards.
• 1:07:52
  SPEAKER_02: Communicate with me.
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because if I come home and find out you're gone and I don't know why, ooh, we I don't know what phase that is, but no.
• 1:08:01
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, that's a no-go.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's a communication breakdown.
• 1:08:05
  SPEAKER_08: But again, that's the relationship anarchy in solo poly.
• 1:08:07
  SPEAKER_08: It's like, it's fine.
• 1:08:09
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, no problem with that.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_08: But yes, that was enjoyable.
• 1:08:12
  SPEAKER_02: I like that game.
• 1:08:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:08:12
  SPEAKER_02: We'll have to actually come up with once to like trip each other.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_02: That would be fun.
• 1:08:16
  SPEAKER_08: But that that would do some that would have to do some pre-planning and some research beforehand.
• 1:08:21
  SPEAKER_08: Okay.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_08: So this has been Around the Kinky Campfire.
• 1:08:25
  SPEAKER_08: We're gonna load along because that was a fun game, so we'll probably delve back into that.
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_08: I would definitely want to use that as an icebreaker.
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_08: So you're free to take that, even though I didn't come up with it as like an icebreaker for something.
• 1:08:35
  SPEAKER_08: Um, who am I?
• 1:08:36
  SPEAKER_08: I remember.
• 1:08:36
  SPEAKER_08: Who are you?
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_08: This is Rue.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_08: And I'm Sir U.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_08: Come on, Liechtenstein.
• 1:08:40
  SPEAKER_08: Rip Heath Leisure.
• 1:08:41
  SPEAKER_08: We're just doing all the the dead people that we wish were still alive.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_08: Or Julius.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_08: This is around the kinky campfire.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_08: We do uh new sessions, new episodes every mostly second and fourth Thursday.
• 1:08:53
  SPEAKER_08: Apparently, we're going to be talking about developmental phases and relationships at a later time, and I'm definitely going to talk about it myself.
• 1:08:59
  SPEAKER_08: Pillow fort sessions every mostly first and third Thursdays.
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_08: We put the episodes and everything.
• 1:09:06
  SPEAKER_08: The podcast is on all major platforms.
• 1:09:09
  SPEAKER_08: Come join us at the Instagram or Campfire Kinksters, all with the K's around the kinky campfire.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_08: Everything with K's.
• 1:09:15
  SPEAKER_08: All the K's.
• 1:09:16
  SPEAKER_08: And all the Ks.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_02: Can we not say that?
• 1:09:19
  SPEAKER_08: Just two.
• 1:09:21
  SPEAKER_02: Can we just please not say that?
• 1:09:22
  SPEAKER_08: You could do an outro.
• 1:09:23
  SPEAKER_08: You want to do the outro?
• 1:09:24
  SPEAKER_02: No, but I just don't like that.
• 1:09:26
  SPEAKER_08: Two K's.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_08: Two Ks.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_08: Oh my god.
• 1:09:28
  SPEAKER_08: One case.
• 1:09:29
  SPEAKER_08: Um, yeah, maybe I could do an outro.
• 1:09:31
  SPEAKER_08: You can send me.
• 1:09:32
  SPEAKER_08: Sue me.
• 1:09:32
  SPEAKER_08: You can record it and send it to me and put it out there.
• 1:09:34
  SPEAKER_08: Then we have to do it anymore.
• 1:09:35
  SPEAKER_04: I just don't like that.
• 1:09:36
  SPEAKER_08: Campfire Kinksters, Instagram.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_08: Let us know what you think, and I hope you've been enjoying the uh little sound bites now that we have uh we have Buzz Sprout to thank for the AI stuff and making sound bites and putting them on there.
• 1:09:47
  SPEAKER_08: But for now, that is all.
• 1:09:49
  SPEAKER_05: We'll talk to you next time.
• 1:09:51
  SPEAKER_05: Goodbye.