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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: How to Show Up for What Actually Matters · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: What's up? Emily Abadi here.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: You are listening to 5-Minute Friday on Hurdle.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. If you're watching this on.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: YouTube, you see me in a golden room right now as.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I am.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Getting my ducks in a row before I pack to
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: go to Los Angeles. I am recording 5-Minute Friday on
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Wednesday so I can do it in the studio because
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: this weekend I am heading to LA for all things
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Nike after dark. I'm going to be running the half
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: marathon on Saturday. I am so excited.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: It's always exciting.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Such a fun trip. And by always, I mean, I
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: did it last year. And so we're back this year
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: for year two. And the energy is always so high.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have the opportunity to sit down with
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Kira D'Amato and Coach Bennett for a little chat for
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: some women on Friday.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm just all around excited.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: It's also so fun because so many of my good
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: friends are in this sphere. And so I'm Getting to
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: go on a little girl's trip never hurt no body.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: For 5-Minute Friday this week, however, I want to talk
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: a little bit about priorities. I was chatting with someone
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: earlier this week, and he was talking about how impressed
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: he is by my capacity to show up. So I
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: made the decision, despite it being quite a hectic week,
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: to head down to D.C. to make time to see
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: some friends. Like I said, I'm in LA this weekend.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I'm stopping down in San Diego to meet a friend's...
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: He's not even a baby anymore.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: He's about a year and a half old. A friend's
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: son that I've yet to meet.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Then flying back to New York next week for all
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: things New York City Marathon. Again, to reiterate, I am
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: not running. I am just hosting three live shows, and
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I will have links to those in the show notes
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: if there is still capacity. I have a feeling Tuesday
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: may be capped, but I'm hosting one with Tracksmith on
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Friday night, and I know that there is definitely still room.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: So please click onto the show notes if you're local
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: and come join us.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: It would be awesome to have you over in Soho.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: But I digress.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: He was talking about how impressed he is that I
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: can make the time for these things. And I said, yes,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: and it's because the things that I'm making time for
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: are a priority.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: There isn't always.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Going to be time for everything. Let me say that
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: to you again. There isn't always going to be time
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: for everything. But when something really matters to you, You
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: make the time or you talk to the people that
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: also matter to you and let them know that it
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: just can't happen. I cannot be everywhere at once, but
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: I can do the best with what I have to
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: make things that matter to me feel like a priority
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: and actually be a priority. So what does that look like?
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: I know a few things to be true. One, for instance,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: I know that I feel better when I move first
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: thing in the morning. Did I want to get up
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: at 6 a.m. on Wednesday morning and necessarily go for
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: a walk? Absolutely not. But A, I got to do
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: it with one of my oldest friends, which was a
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: highlight for me. And B, movement is a priority for me.
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  Speaker 2: So I make the time for it. I set my
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: alarm a little bit earlier.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: I tried to get to.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Bed a little bit earlier and I did the best
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I could with what I had. Now, I am the
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: kind of person that likes to give things 100%. Hard stop.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I love to go all in. And I recognize that
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: sometimes consistency is going to be better than perfection.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Actually, let me scrap that.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Always, consistency is going to be better than perfection.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: And so.
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  Speaker 2: On the days where I am keen on my priorities,
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: but I can't always give things 100%, I do the
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: best I can with what I have. On the movement
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  Speaker 2: side of things, sometimes that means, okay, I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: make time to go on a one or two mile
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  Speaker 2: run instead of maybe the six mile run.
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  Speaker 1: That I was after.
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  Speaker 2: Or when it comes to getting to see people that
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: matter to me. Maybe I'm going to have breakfast with
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  Speaker 2: my mom when I'm back home in Connecticut instead of
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: not seeing her at all.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Would I love to spend an entire day? For sure.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: But there are also other things that align with my values,
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: like family, that I want to make a priority. And
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I explain this a little in depth because I know
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  Speaker 2: that it can be a really challenging thing because often
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: staying true to your values is and being sure and
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: articulate about your priorities means that you have to be
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: really keen on your boundaries. And setting boundaries is hard.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: But I will say this here, and I want you
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: to listen. The people that love you, they will always
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: respect your boundaries. The people that love you and know
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: your intentions and know your heart, they will always respect
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: your boundaries. That doesn't mean that it's not going to be...
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: difficult thing to enforce. It doesn't mean it's always going
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: to be easy when you have to say no, or
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I don't have the bandwidth for this right now, or
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: this just isn't a priority.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: That's okay. You do the best you can, again, with
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: what you have.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: So reflecting back on that conversation that I had earlier
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: this week on Wednesday morning, when my friend said, it's
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: so impressive how you find the time.
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  Speaker 1: I find the time because I make it a priority.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: And I understand that consistency is better than perfection and
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: I'm never gonna be perfect. And that is totally fine
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: with me. So that is where I'm gonna go this
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: week with the listener question. Where have you been so
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: worried about being perfect that you're not allowing yourself to
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: make the things that you care about a priority? Because
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: what happens when that happens for what it's worth is
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: that for me, I start to get a little angry.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I get mad at myself that I'm compromising on the
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: things that matter to me. Maybe for things that don't
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: fall as high, fall as high, go as high, lean
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  Speaker 2: as high on the priority totem pole.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: So for me, I just want to do the best
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  Speaker 2: I can with what I have. I encourage you to
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: do the same. And so I ask you, what is
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: it that maybe you have been hesitating on when it
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: comes to your priorities? because you just want it to
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: be as good as possible. And now let's lean in
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: to a listener question. I want to give some props
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: to Stephanie. Stephanie wrote me in late at this time
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: last year in 2025. And she asked me a listener
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: question about how she was making an effort to be
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: proud of the accomplishment of her third marathon, but she
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: was extremely disappointed and embarrassed in the outcome, writing that
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: she set an aggressive time goal and fell short by
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: a significant measure. She asked me, how do you respond
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: when you pour yourself into an audacious goal, speak it
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: to the world, and fall short? I answered this on
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: the show, and she came back to me this year,
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: and she said, hey, Emily, happy Metal Monday. I just
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: wanted to come back and say thank you for all
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: the goodness you are putting out into the world. I
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: registered for the same race this year and managed to
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: stay mostly healthy and did the annoying little things like
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: regular stretching and fueling. And it all paid off with
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: a 12 minute PR and my first sub four hour marathon.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Just wanted to let you know that this thread aged very,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: very well.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Now, what's next? In the meantime, I'll keep on hurdling.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Thanks again, Steph. I love this.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: For a few reasons. First of all, if you listen
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: to the pod, you know that my dad loves to
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: ask me what's next. And I often don't have all
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: the answers when he does. So Steph is clearly, she's
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: a true hurdler here. And I really appreciate her tenacity
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: for showing up when things don't go as.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Planned, right?
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: That is the biggest through line that I hope you
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: gather from listening to this show is.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: That no matter.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: what level athlete it is or how long someone's been
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: in their career or how long someone has been practicing psychology,
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  Speaker 2: there are going to be, what a random example, there
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: are going to be moments when things don't go as planned,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: no matter how elite you are, no matter how much
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: of a veteran you are in your field. And so
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: in these difficult moments, we get the opportunity to make
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: a choice. We get the opportunity to say, I'm going
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: to learn from this or I'm going to wallow in this. Now,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: a little bit of wallowing makes sense. When Steph wrote
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: me that first email, oh my God, my heart, I
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: have been there. You don't put your all into something
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: for it to not go as you'd hoped, right? But
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: what you do with the struggle, what you do when
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: things don't go as you hoped, when you quote unquote fail,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: when you fail, that is when the magic happens. That
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  Speaker 2: is when you become the person that you want to become.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: a stronger, more resilient, compassionate human being. And so what
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Steph did last year was she took that difficult digestion
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: period of feeling all of the feelings and asking herself,
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: what can I learn from this? And for her in
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: this example, that was making the time for the little
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: things that didn't excite her. But those things became a priority,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: word of the week, because she had a big goal.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: And so I want you to ask yourself, what is
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: it that you do when things get hard? What is
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: it that you do when things don't go as you hoped?
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  Speaker 2: Because that's when it really, really, really matters how you
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: show up. And trust me, I know that you have
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: it in you to show up and do hard things, okay?
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: What a week. What a week. What a weekend on deck.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: New York City Marathon week next week.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Are you kidding? You know the drill.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: If you've got a listener question, if you want to chat,
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: I'm always here. You can email me over at hello
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: at hurdle.us and also hit me in the DMs over
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: at Hurdle Podcast and at Emily Abadi. Another hurdle conquered.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.