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BETWEEN SESSIONS – What’cha gonna do when the chips are down? · Mental Health Matters

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to Mental Health Matters Between Sessions.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is where I reflect on something that's been bothering me this week.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Today's title is What You Gonna Do When The Chips Are Down?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not only is that a fabulous number from the Tony Award-winning musical Hades Town, which is still playing in the West End, but it can be taken both ways.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: The chips are low, so the chips are down because there aren't many chips left, it's a losing streak.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or the actual meaning, which is also from gambling, you've played that call.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: There is nothing more to do.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or is there?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Recently I had the pleasure of speaking on a panel at an MS event launching their new Sparks Loyalty program, and it is fabulous.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: The rewards are meaningful and they are tailored.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: But what I loved was that they really wanted to know from a psychological, personable rather than marketing perspective, why are people loyal?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the theories I discussed was the one that struck me in my PhD, the service recovery paradox.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: The service recovery paradox proposes that if a customer has poor service experiences, but that situation is then resolved in a satisfactory manner, that service receives more loyalty than they would have had if everything was fine.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know I've written about this before and I know I've spoken about this before.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Everything's great when it's great, but when it goes wrong, that's the true test of character.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I also believe this sits in the same space as the Harvard Business Review article, Why Leaders Don't Learn from Success.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you merely think that success is completely down to you, you've done yourself a disservice.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Success may have occurred due to luck, social climate, environmental factors, other people's efforts, and whether an outcome is good or bad, it's always wise to reflect on it and think about what elements could or should be or not be replicated and which ones were circumstantial.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's not to say you can't recreate or create environmental factors, but if you don't realize they played a role, you're on the back foot.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So this brings me back to what you're going to do when the chips are down and what learnings can we take from these situations.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: When the chips are down, they're down.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: They've gone.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: So recognize the reality of the situation you're facing.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: A confrontation or a conflict may not be your fault, but it has become your problem.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so if that's the case, you need to deal with it.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And if it was your fault, then reflect on why that was the case.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it isn't always down to personal factors.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: So don't see it as just taking blame.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: The way I like to see responsibility is that gives me some sense of control over the situation.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: If I have responsibility, I have control.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: If in part the person you're interacting with needs to be managed, then the best cause of action is to be curious and to actually hear what they're saying rather than lead with defense.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to look situationally.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: What in the immediate environment, when those chips are down, could have contributed to the win or the loss?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is it a one-off thing?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Could it be changed for next time?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: What might have occurred that wasn't predicted, which helped or hindered the outcome?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: What external circumstances made that situation possible?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, recovery.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: What are you gonna do?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: What are you going to do about it?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And a little secret from my PhD research: the customer doesn't want to be king.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: The customer wants their problem solved.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And this can be applied to any form of interaction.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: When someone feels heard and understood, their mood changes very, very fast.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And resolution is often much easier because they can tell you what they want or need, and you've actually got the time to think about it and do what needs to be done.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And in saying this, I'm not actually saying the customer's always right, but when there has been a misunderstanding, part of recovery is explanation and collaboration rather than shaming.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: So this week, whether you're buffing up your CV or reflecting on a recent personal or professional interaction or dealing with something in situ, one, be realistic about what caused the situation.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Two, ask questions rather than jumping in to defend or shame.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And three, take action to redress the balance.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: When the chips are down, it's positive or healthy relationships that get us through.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And they can be worked on.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And if done well, they will bring rewards exceeding what they might have otherwise.