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Prepare For The Bad Stuff With Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Everyone, it's Carli here for this week's Mojo Monday. So
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  Speaker 1: we would all have a story where we've lost it.
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  Speaker 1: So something's happened and we've exploded with anger or went
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  Speaker 1: into a complete panic, or we said something we regretted
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  Speaker 1: almost immediately, and then afterwards you look back and you think,
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  Speaker 1: that's actually not who I want to be. And one
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  Speaker 1: of the reasons I love practicing stoicism is that it
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  Speaker 1: trains us to stay calm and self aware even in
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  Speaker 1: those moments, not because the emotion disappears, but because we
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  Speaker 1: want to act in line with our values even when
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  Speaker 1: things feel really intense inside us, because when we don't,
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  Speaker 1: we tend to get hijacked, and so we react instead
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  Speaker 1: of respond, and often that outcome is something that really
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  Speaker 1: could have been avoided. But here's the key. That ability
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  Speaker 1: doesn't just show up when you need it. You can
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  Speaker 1: actually train yourself for this. And that kind of reminds
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  Speaker 1: me of this great stoic line from Seneca. So he said,
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  Speaker 1: if you would not have a man flinch when the
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  Speaker 1: crisis comes, train him before it comes. So one way
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  Speaker 1: to train it is to stop pretending life will always
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  Speaker 1: go to plan. So if you walk around assuming everything
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  Speaker 1: will work out, or you don't even want to kind
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  Speaker 1: of consider the bad stuff. You're setting yourself up to
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  Speaker 1: be pretty much blindsided. And Ryan Holliday talks about devastation
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  Speaker 1: as that feeling of being completely crushed and shocked by
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  Speaker 1: an event. And a big part of that shock comes
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  Speaker 1: from this, we actually didn't think it would happen, or
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  Speaker 1: we didn't acknowledge that it would happen. So instead we prepare.
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  Speaker 1: So you prepare for the judgment of others, you prepare
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  Speaker 1: for the discomfort of a tough workout, or you prepare
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  Speaker 1: for not getting the job, or prepare for things going wrong.
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  Speaker 1: And this isn't being pessimistic, it's actually being realistic. It's
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  Speaker 1: in a ready way. You can even visualize it, and
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  Speaker 1: this is what the Stoics used to practice. See the
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  Speaker 1: situation in your mind and then see yourself handling it well.
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  Speaker 1: So staying calm, speaking with intention, acting like the person
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  Speaker 1: that you want to be. And of course there's no
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  Speaker 1: crystal ball. You can't predict everything, but you can build
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  Speaker 1: a mindset that's not shocked by difficulty because the reality
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  Speaker 1: is life is hard. Hard things will happen, whether you
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  Speaker 1: think positively or not. So the question isn't can I
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  Speaker 1: avoid it? It's more can I be ready for it?
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  Speaker 1: And when you are, you don't just get through it,
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  Speaker 1: you actually show up as the person that you want
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  Speaker 1: to be. So this week, instead of just hoping that
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  Speaker 1: everything goes smoothly, ask yourself what might be hard in
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  Speaker 1: this situation? What could be really challenging this week? And
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  Speaker 1: how do I want to show up when it is
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  Speaker 1: so Train that because the moment will come, and then
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  Speaker 1: when it does, you'll be ready for it. So have
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  Speaker 1: a great week everyone, and I will catch you next week.
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  Speaker 1: Seeya