Latest / The 3Bz Podcast - Building Better Business / EP118 - The Anxious Introvert: Overthinking, Overpreparing and Still Not Feeling Ready
Transcript
- 0:01Hi there business owner, and welcome to the Three BS Podcast,
- 0:04the place where we go beyond the numbers and dive into the
- 0:07strategies to help you build a Better Business one step at a
- 0:10time. I'm your host, Stephanie, a
- 0:12multi awarding entrepreneur with over a decade of experience in
- 0:15the bookkeeping and currency world.
- 0:17If you're a business owner looking to streamline, grow, and
- 0:19get back the time that you deserve, you're in the right
- 0:21place tackling real world problems, answering tough
- 0:24questions, and digging deep into business building secrets in
- 0:27just 15 minutes each week. So, Are you ready to build a
- 0:31Better Business with confidence and clarity?
- 0:33Then let's go. Hello and welcome back to
- 0:37another episode of a 3B's podcast.
- 0:39You'll go to 15 minutes of CPD certified motivation,
- 0:43inspiration, and education to help you build a Better Business
- 0:47each week. As always, I'm your host,
- 0:50Stephanie High. And just like the last couple of
- 0:52episodes, if you haven't listened to episode 115 about
- 0:56the four different types of introvert, go back and listen to
- 0:59that because otherwise this won't make such sense.
- 1:02If you do not type of introvert you are and you are a social
- 1:06introvert, then go back and listen to episode 116.
- 1:09And if you came out as a thinking introvert, then go and
- 1:12listen up to 117 last weeks episode for strategies to help
- 1:16you use your introvert type to build a Better Business.
- 1:20This week we're talking of talking about anxious
- 1:23introverts. And here at the Three VS
- 1:25Podcast, we talk about business without pretending that it's
- 1:27always easy. And this is Part 3 in our
- 1:30introvert series. So if you've ever replayed a
- 1:33conversation from three days ago when you're at home alone, over
- 1:37prepared for something super simple, or worried about what
- 1:39people think before you've even hit post, you might be joining
- 1:44me in this category. Yes, I am.
- 1:46Of the four introvert types most associated with the anxious
- 1:50introvert, which you may find surprising as somebody who comes
- 1:54in this podcast each week, posts on social media, talks on stage,
- 1:58wins influencer of the year at the Luca Awards.
- 2:00That overthinking though? It can get really loud.
- 2:03So let's talk about how to quieten the noise and build
- 2:06something really solid as a business owner without second
- 2:09guessing yourself every step of the way.
- 2:12And as I say, I am with you on this one.
- 2:15I do see parts of myself in other introvert types.
- 2:18And that's the thing. If you come out as one in the
- 2:20quiz, you may recognize yourself in in 2-3 or even all four of
- 2:24them. But the one that you feel most
- 2:26associated to is definitely the strategies I recommend you try
- 2:29first. And as I am an anxious introvert
- 2:32by nature, I feel like that's the most closely linked one to
- 2:35me. A lot of this is coming from
- 2:37experience. So these are strategies that
- 2:40help me and I'm hoping they will help you too if you are an
- 2:44anxious introvert. So First things first, what is
- 2:46an anxious introvert? Anxious introverts don't just
- 2:49prefer quiet time. Their minds won't switch off.
- 2:52And the difference between like a thinking introvert and an
- 2:55anxious introvert is that when they're alone, you're still
- 2:58replaying that conversation. You're still worrying and
- 3:01anxious about what was said and people think about you.
- 3:04You're probably constantly thinking, did I come across OK?
- 3:07Did that come out OK? What if that post sounds stupid?
- 3:11Maybe I'm annoying people by talking about my offer yet
- 3:13again, when actually the truth of the matter is you could have
- 3:16talked about it 6 times that day and 90% of your followers
- 3:20wouldn't have seen any of them. So you might spend hours
- 3:23preparing something and still not feel ready.
- 3:26As I said in last week's episode, I think it was, I went
- 3:31and spoke on Sage account text back in May and it's my first
- 3:34sort of speaking engagement. And the talk was what we're
- 3:37talking about now from introvert influencer, The Honest truth
- 3:40behind Success. Because transparency is really
- 3:42important to me. And when you listen back to the
- 3:45recording, you can hear the wobble in my voice.
- 3:48You can hear the anxiety sitting there in the back of my throat
- 3:51as I'm wondering what people are thinking of me whilst I'm trying
- 3:54to do it and still not really feeling ready but pushing
- 3:57through the fear and doing it anyway.
- 3:59Now I don't recommend that everyone needs to go and talk on
- 4:00stage if you're an anxious introvert, but I am living proof
- 4:03that it is possible if it's something you want to do to
- 4:05build your business forward. This is less about fear of
- 4:09people and more about the fear of perception, how you're
- 4:11viewed, what people think and when it comes to being a
- 4:14business owner, it causes a serious confidence block.
- 4:18But The thing is, your attention to detail is a gift and what you
- 4:22have to learn to do is just to build it in safety.
- 4:25That feeling of safety, the systems and processes and giving
- 4:28yourself permission to move before everything feels perfect.
- 4:32One of my favorite sayings is done is better than perfect.
- 4:36And it's something that I try to live by.
- 4:38And it's, it's not always easy, but sometimes just trying to
- 4:41live that way really, really helped.
- 4:42So if you are an anxious introvert or feel like you are
- 4:45most closely resonating with an anxious introvert type, then
- 4:49here are some of the strategies that I've used to help me in
- 4:53business and I'm hoping will help you to build a Better
- 4:56Business whilst playing to your introvert type as a strength, as
- 5:00a superpower and not letting it hold yourself back.
- 5:03First strategy is to pre decide your decision.
- 5:06So if there are things that usually 'cause you stress pre
- 5:10decide these things, decision making can feel like an absolute
- 5:14minefield when your anxiety is at a peak, when you're feeling
- 5:16very anxious. So the more you can preset rules
- 5:18for yourself, the easier it gets.
- 5:21Now when we go to eat anywhere, whether I go out to eat with
- 5:25friends, family, colleagues, my network, whatever it may be,
- 5:28when I go out with clients, I will always get the menu and
- 5:32download the menu and check and give myself one or two options
- 5:36of what I'm going to have to eat.
- 5:37It used to be just one. I used to decide what I was
- 5:39going to eat before I got to the restaurant because it helped
- 5:41calm my anxiety. And then a couple of times we've
- 5:44gone out somewhere and I'm the person that will always have a
- 5:47sea bass. If a sea bass on the menu, 9
- 5:49times out of 10, I'm going to choose it first because I can't
- 5:51cook it well. And when it comes from a
- 5:53restaurant, it's always absolutely so delicious.
- 5:56So a couple of times we've been to a particular restaurant and
- 5:59I, I knew I was having a pre, decided I've got myself ready to
- 6:05go out and I'd said, OK, I'm going to have the sea bath.
- 6:07And they say, oh, we haven't got any of that left, I'm afraid.
- 6:10And then the anxiety kicks in because you're like, I don't
- 6:12have a Plan B. Like I sort of pre empted this.
- 6:15I hadn't really thought about what if they didn't have any of
- 6:17that. So now I always have two.
- 6:19I always have a backup, which sometimes causes decision
- 6:22paralysis when you sat there and not knowing which one you want.
- 6:24But I tend to always have a backup now to reduce the
- 6:27anxiety. And it works the same in
- 6:29business. Have a default pricing
- 6:31structure, so you're not adjusting on the fly so that you
- 6:35can stick to the rules that are written down.
- 6:37You can stick to the pricing that you've set.
- 6:38You're not having to try and move things around.
- 6:42You're not trying to do anything that causes you more stress.
- 6:46And if pricing is something that you struggle with, have a
- 6:49default pricing structure, have a default package, have a
- 6:52default price. That is what it is.
- 6:54If you want this, it's going to cost you this.
- 6:56I think that really helps. Another one that's really good
- 7:00is to just choose 2 core marketing platforms and ignore
- 7:04the rest. Now when I say ignore the rest,
- 7:07I mean don't put your energy and time into it, but do repurpose
- 7:10your content onto other platforms just to give you a
- 7:12social presence across the various different platforms.
- 7:15So for me, it's LinkedIn first and foremost, and then it's
- 7:18Instagram. But when I post Instagram, it's
- 7:20automatically posted to Facebook, for example.
- 7:24So the two core marketing platforms, the two platforms
- 7:27where I do my research, where my clients are, where I do the
- 7:29research into what's a hot, a hot topic, what's being
- 7:32discussed, the content that I curate is based on those two
- 7:37marketing platforms. Everything else I don't think
- 7:40about because it causes too much anxiety.
- 7:42I don't have TikTok even though I keep promising to go on there.
- 7:45I don't use Facebook very often. I don't use X or Twitter very
- 7:49often either. My 2 main places, my 2 core
- 7:54marketing platforms are LinkedIn and Instagram.
- 7:57Even if you're watching this podcast on YouTube, that's not
- 7:59one of my core marketing platforms.
- 8:01It's where the podcast gets put. But the podcast is primarily
- 8:06made and then it goes to YouTube.
- 8:08I don't make it with YouTube in mind and pre schedule your
- 8:11content once a week so you're not agonizing over it daily.
- 8:15Have you ever had that feeling where you're like, I know I need
- 8:17to post today and I haven't posted today.
- 8:19I haven't posted on LinkedIn today and I know I need to.
- 8:22It gets like 6:00 PM. You're like, oh, what am I going
- 8:23to post? I need to post something because
- 8:25I haven't posted yet and that girl on the Internet said I need
- 8:27to post every single day? Give yourself less chances to
- 8:31spiral. Give yourself less moments to
- 8:34get overwhelmed and, and add to your anxiety and stress and
- 8:37you'll be surprised how freeing that really feels.
- 8:40I said a couple of weeks ago that I'm starting to sort of
- 8:42batch content. So all of these podcast
- 8:44recordings will have been done in a batch in one go and then
- 8:48it'll be scheduled across the next 5 weeks.
- 8:49So, so the next three Monday mornings, I won't have that
- 8:53stress if I've got to get in and record the podcast because it's
- 8:55already done. I can then start planning the
- 8:57next batch of content and again, just reducing that stress and
- 9:01pre deciding your decisions can really help.
- 9:04If you're an anxious introvert, strategy #2 use micro actions to
- 9:08build confidence. Anxious introverts often wait
- 9:11until something feels fully ready to act.
- 9:13And the done is better than perfect is a phrase I say
- 9:16regularly on the podcast and it applies here because done is
- 9:19better than perfect. Anxious introverts wait until
- 9:22something feels ready and then they never really act on it.
- 9:26So instead of going big, just go small and consistent.
- 9:30Don't commit to posting every single day if that's going to
- 9:33cause too much anxiety. Commit to posting once a week.
- 9:37Commit to posting twice a week. Commit to posting one blog post
- 9:42a month, whatever it is to reduce some of that chance to
- 9:46spiral. But whilst you're being
- 9:49consistent, you're going to build an audience that grows to
- 9:52wait for or grows to expect that blog post every month that goes
- 9:56to expect that Friday post that you always put out on LinkedIn.
- 9:59For example, launch to five warm leads instead of building a full
- 10:04funnel is another one that's great for service based
- 10:07businesses, for high ticket businesses, for anxious
- 10:11introverts who like to overthink everything and get anxious about
- 10:16it. So building a big audience is
- 10:18not something that comes naturally to them and adds a lot
- 10:21of stress. So have a smaller but quality
- 10:24over quantity leads and start converting them rather than
- 10:28building that full sales funnel before you start actually
- 10:31putting out your offer book. Deciding your content for a
- 10:35month feels utterly terrifying to you.
- 10:37Just record 162nd reel because you can repurpose that anyway.
- 10:42Make sure it's Evergreen. Doesn't have to be, but you
- 10:44could be Evergreen. 62nd reel that you change the sound
- 10:49wording. I like to I like to think of it
- 10:51as B roll. So it's just pressing record
- 10:53162nd reel rather than planning that whole content calendar.
- 10:57And those small actions build confidence.
- 11:02So you do the one small thing and yeah, OK, I can do this now.
- 11:05Then you do the next small thing or the slightly bigger thing
- 11:08than the first thing and it snowballs and it grows and that
- 11:11confidence grows. And as it grows, the anxiety
- 11:14reduces over time. That's how I can be on here on
- 11:17video every week. When the podcast started it was
- 11:20pre recorded. I took more takes than I care to
- 11:23even imagine. I was sat on my sofa in my
- 11:25pyjamas with a landmike clipped to my dressing gown because that
- 11:30small step was all I could manage.
- 11:32If you'd have said to me I need to launch a podcast and if I'd
- 11:35have not made that decision and was trying to create a whole
- 11:39series of content and have all the videos and all the captions
- 11:41and all the fancy transitions and all the music sorted, this
- 11:44podcast would never have existed.
- 11:47So small actions build your confidence, just like me
- 11:51standing on stage. I mean, I am great for a
- 11:55challenge. I am somebody who does not like
- 11:58to back down from a challenge. And that's not to do my
- 12:00introvert type, that's just me. If somebody challenges me or I
- 12:04challenge myself to something, I am there.
- 12:06I've got a tattoo on my leg of a of a race number because we're
- 12:09there. When I was in Motorsports, our
- 12:11little genetic juniors were 1417 year old, all in the same car.
- 12:15They're on the token package with the British Touring Car
- 12:18Championship. I loved going and helping the
- 12:22boys and girls down in the awnings and down in the paddock.
- 12:25And Greg Johnson was a Genesis junior driver, in fact, doesn't
- 12:30even race anymore, which is even funnier.
- 12:31So he didn't even go through the ranks, but somebody's made a
- 12:34dare or somebody made a bet that if he could get a podium, they'd
- 12:38get a tattoo of his race number. And I was like, Oh yeah, I'm
- 12:39well, look for that. I said, yeah, me too, count me
- 12:41in. I was like, I'll absolutely get
- 12:43a tattoo of your race number. And yeah, he got a podium.
- 12:47So I have the number 7 hashtag 7 tattooed on the on my leg.
- 12:51And then he gave up bracing, which is even funnier.
- 12:54So compared to little Ando Norris and Louis Foster, who's
- 12:57now in the IndyCar, I'm not one to back down from a challenge.
- 13:01And I have a #7 tattooed on my leg, so that's how I work.
- 13:08So doing things like going and talking on stage, account text,
- 13:11I wanted to win a Luca. I'd set myself at goal, I'd set
- 13:14myself at challenge, and I would take little steps to get to
- 13:17that. So to talk on stage, I started
- 13:19off with the podcast being recorded on audio.
- 13:22Then I moved to a couple of webinars for the ICBA recorded
- 13:26webinar. Then it was a live webinar, then
- 13:29I went to video on the podcast and then I applied to speak on
- 13:34stage and didn't get it. And then I applied to speak on
- 13:38stage and did get it. And I did a panel stage on the
- 13:42Wednesday and then a solo stage on the Thursday.
- 13:45So again, it's those little tiny steps.
- 13:48Because if you'd have said to me two years ago, yeah, you're
- 13:51going to go and stand on stage and there'll be about 16,000
- 13:55foot fall over the two days I would have, I wouldn't have
- 13:58slept for weeks. And I still get anxious and I
- 14:00still have massive anxiety attacks at times and it takes me
- 14:04a lot of time to recover from those big things.
- 14:07But it all steps me forward. Those little micro steps are
- 14:10what got me there in the 1st place.
- 14:12If you're if you're an anxious introvert like me, you don't
- 14:14need to be louder, bolder, or more fearless.
- 14:18You just need systems that reduce overthinking.
- 14:20You just need tiny actions that grow and build and scale and
- 14:24help you to build trust in yourself and your own ability
- 14:28and a little bit of kindness when your brains being really
- 14:30noisy and you can't close it off.
- 14:32Remember, you are not a bad business owner just because
- 14:35you're anxious. You are probably one of the most
- 14:37thoughtful people your clients will ever have pleasure to work
- 14:40with because you overthink. And overthinking is sometimes a
- 14:44good thing, as long as it doesn't stop you from moving
- 14:46forward in your business. If you haven't taken the
- 14:49Introvert quiz yet, now is a really great time.
- 14:51Even if you think you know what type you are, it will confirm it
- 14:54for you and give you practical tips and strategies to help you
- 14:57play to your strengths that work really well alongside these
- 15:00podcasts. The quiz link is in the show
- 15:03notes as always, or you'll find it on social media.
- 15:06And next week will be our last in the series with the
- 15:08restrained introvert, the calm, methodical my fiance who needs
- 15:13time to arm up but build serious momentum once they do.
- 15:16If you find this episode useful, please do like, rate and review
- 15:19wherever you're listening to it in a podcast app.
- 15:22Share it on social media, send it to a business owner who you
- 15:25think is an anxious introvert and tell them it's okay and they
- 15:28can play to their strengths and still build a successful
- 15:31business. I'll see you next week for the
- 15:33next episode. Bye.
- 15:36And that brings us to the end of another episode of The Three B's
- 15:39podcast. I hope you found it useful and
- 15:41that you're walking away with some motivation, inspiration, or
- 15:44education to help you build a Better Business.
- 15:47Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and of course, connect
- 15:50with us on social media for more insights, tips, and behind the
- 15:52scenes content. Your next step in building a
- 15:55Better Business is just a click away.
- 15:56I can't wait to connect with you and I'll see you on the next
- 15:59episode. Bye.