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141 // Are You Sure it's ADHD Holding You Back? · ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women

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  What do you believe about ADHD and what do you believe about yourself as a result?
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  This belief that we have about what ADHD means and what it means about who we
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  are and what we're capable of can make an incredible difference in how we live our lives.
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  You can know in your heart that you do belong. You are enough and you are made
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  on purpose and with a purpose.
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  Hey, I'm Kelsey Spronk, fellow ADHD mom and entrepreneur.
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  Join me in building confidence so you can experience success with ADHD in,
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  Hey friends, welcome to the ADHD with Confidence podcast.
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  I'm your host, Kelsey, and today we're going to talk about the question,
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  are you sure it's ADHD that's holding you back?
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  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to diminish the real struggles that
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  you might be experiencing if you have ADHD.
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  What I want to challenge you on today is a few questions that you can reflect
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  on to see where you are in regards to your perspective and your belief about
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  the characteristics, of ADHD and about who you are as a result.
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  So first I want you to think about these few questions.
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  First of all, what do you believe about ADHD? Do you believe that it is a doom
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  and gloom diagnosis that is going to ruin any chances of success in your life?
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  Do you believe it means you are always going to struggle with the same things no matter what?
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  Do you believe there's nothing you can do about it? These are the types of things
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  to think about and reflect on just to kind of get a baseline idea of where you are at right now.
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  And I want to encourage you as well, as you go through these questions,
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  as I give you some action steps at the end of the episode, I want you to remember
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  to be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace.
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  Approach things with that compassionate curiosity because it's a journey.
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  When I first started, you know, contemplating whether I had ADHD or not,
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  it came out of a place of frustration of the things that were hard for me that
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  didn't seem like they were hard for other people.
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  And I went through a journey of, you know,
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  denial and acceptance, anger, all of these different things to getting to a
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  point of understanding who I was and being able to confidently live as who I authentically am.
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  So it's important wherever you are at in this
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  to just start where you are the next
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  part of this question is what do you believe about yourself
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  as a result of what you believe about adhd
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  now you are not your adhd you are not any other label or diagnosis you are you
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  you are uniquely made in god's image to reflect his goodness and he has a purpose
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  and a calling in your life it's important in this step here to think about what
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  are you believing about yourself?
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  Do you believe you are capable and made intentionally for a purpose?
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  Or do you believe that you're broken and you're made wrong and you're deficient?
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  These are important questions to reflect on so that we can get an idea of where we're starting.
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  As I said earlier, I'm not trying to diminish the real struggles you might be experiencing.
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  In fact, recently I have been pretty frustrated with some of the things that
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  have seemed to be ramped up as far as my forgetfulness, trouble focusing,
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  impulsive decision making, and things like that.
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  It can be incredibly infuriating. But the question at this point is, you have a choice.
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  Do you want to focus on the struggle? or do
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  you want to look towards the future and focus on
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  the strengths that you possess on the god-given gifts
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  and opportunities in your life it's still probably going to be messy absolutely
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  it's not going to be linear but if we can find ways to find the meaning to find
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  the purpose to use the areas that you are good at i believe that is going to
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  be so much more fulfilling,
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  so much more likely to make you feel content and happy with your life than just
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  focusing on those struggles.
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  In this podcast, I also do talk about, you know, how you can find supports and
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  strategies for those struggles because sometimes we just have to,
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  we have to do the things we have to do to live in our day-to-day lives.
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  But I want you to also remember that ADHD doesn't mean that you can't live up
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  to these dreams and potential that you have your sights set on.
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  That if you have this big dream in your heart.
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  You can still do that. You can still work towards that.
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  We just have to figure out who you are, how you work best, what kind of supports
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  you need, what kind of strategies that you need.
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  And something that I think you're also going to find is when you allow yourself
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  to be authentically you, it's going to free up so much of the energy that you
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  are spending on trying to be somebody else.
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  I want to give you a few questions here to think about in regards to answering
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  the question, are you sure it's ADHD holding you back or could it be something else?
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  The first one is, I want you to be curious.
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  What do you think is actually holding you back? So holding you back from maybe
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  that relationship, that friendship, that job opportunity, anxiety.
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  You know, trying out for something, whatever it is, what do you think is holding
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  you back from going for that thing?
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  Maybe you've had a dream that God's placed on your heart for a long time.
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  What is holding you back from pursuing that?
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  Is it, and I'm going to challenge you a little bit on this one,
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  is it easy sometimes to blame it on ADHD when what actually is holding you back
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  is fear, is that fear of not being enough.
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  And I think part of this obviously can be connected of, you know,
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  fear of rejection and things like that.
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  But I think it's important for us to look at what is really holding us back
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  so that we understand how we can approach that.
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  Because I want you to be able to take the opportunities that come your way.
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  I want you to be able to live to your fullest potential and to feel so fulfilled
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  in your life. To feel like you have a purpose and you are living a meaningful life.
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  With all of the clients I have worked with, you know, they have come with struggles
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  that they're dealing with.
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  But they also just have so
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  much to offer to the
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  world and that's what I want to help you
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  with is I want you to see how much you have to
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  offer you have your unique way of doing things your unique approach to the world
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  that only you can bring and so I want you to go on this journey with me to finding
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  out how you can bring that to the world and how you can get past whatever it
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  is that's holding you back.
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  Sometimes the things holding us back is our own thoughts, our lies that we believe
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  about ourselves, our fear.
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  If that's the case, we need to practice forgiveness. We need to practice being
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  aware of our thought patterns and create new stories, new pathways.
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  We need to think of positive alternatives.
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  And now don't get me wrong, I know there's a big trend of, you know, toxic positivity.
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  We don't want that. We want realistic strategies and supports.
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  But that awareness starting up, am I or are you holding yourself back based
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  on the lies you believe about yourself?
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  Another question is, what would it look like for you if you gave that thing
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  a chance, if you followed that dream that you have,
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  or if you gave that person a chance to be friends with that person or to try
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  that new thing, what would that look like for you?
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  What would you experience if you believed that you were capable of so much?
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  What would you experience? Just even thinking about this, and I've met a lot
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  of very interesting people lately, a lot of entrepreneurs who have experienced
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  a lot of worldly success.
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  And at times, you know, for the most part, I just find it very fascinating,
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  but there's been times where I felt intimidated asking myself,
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  you know, can I do things like that? Can I do these big things?
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  And at that point, you know, you have a choice. You have a choice whether you're
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  going to believe that, yes, when God's placed a dream on your heart,
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  when he is alongside you, yes, you can do these big things. It's going to take faith.
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  It's going to take step-by-step action and stepping forward in that.
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  Or you have the choice of saying, no, you know, I'm going to stay here.
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  I'm going to stay comfortable and I'm not going to change.
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  And that choice is up to you. I think another question for you here is what
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  would change for you if you gave yourself grace and you operated at a place
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  of self-acceptance and love instead of guilt and shame?
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  What I mean by that is maybe you don't respond to a text to a friend or to somebody.
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  Instead of making yourself feel guilty and ashamed, give yourself grace.
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  Still respond to the person and say, hey, sorry, this is late.
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  You know, apologize when necessary. But apologizing for these things that hurt people.
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  Especially unintentionally, is so much easier when we know who we are,
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  when we know that our worth doesn't change, whether we mess up or not,
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  because everybody messes up.
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  And when we operate out of a place of giving ourselves grace and compassion,
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  we are a lot more likely to succeed and a lot more likely to feel confident
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  and content in who we are and where we are going.
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  So if you take anything out of this episode, I want you to think about what
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  is actually holding you back in these different areas.
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  Are you using the label of ADHD as an excuse or,
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  And is it something else that is holding you back, like your own thoughts,
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  or getting stuck in things like comparison, perfectionism, all or nothing?
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  And I know these things can be connected within ADHD, but I want to encourage
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  you here is that you are capable of so much.
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  And it's about figuring out who you are, how you operate best,
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  and what kind of supports and strategies you need in place in order for you to be successful.
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  Because you can be successful.
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  I hope you found something encouraging or helpful in today's episode.
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  Thank you so much for joining me. I look forward to the next one. Until then, God bless.