Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / If I Know What To Do .... Why Don't I do It? With Carly Taylor
Transcript
- 0:06Speaker 1: Hey everyone, it's Curly here and welcome to you. This
- 0:08Speaker 1: week's Mojoe Monday. So there's a question. I hear a
- 0:12Speaker 1: lot from clients and from friends, and it goes something
- 0:15Speaker 1: like this, I know exactly what I need to do,
- 0:19Speaker 1: so why am I doing it? So why is it
- 0:22Speaker 1: that we should We know we should move our body
- 0:25Speaker 1: or get out of bed earlier, or meal prep on
- 0:28Speaker 1: a Sunday, so we're organized for the week, drink less,
- 0:32Speaker 1: spend time or less time scrolling, start the household project,
- 0:38Speaker 1: and yet somehow we still don't do it. And there's
- 0:42Speaker 1: a common humanity here. So if you do relate to this,
- 0:45Speaker 1: you are definitely not alone, because this is really an
- 0:50Speaker 1: information problem. You know, most people already know what they
- 0:54Speaker 1: need to do. There's so many resources out there, there's
- 0:58Speaker 1: so much information, especially now with social media, with so
- 1:03Speaker 1: many influences and experts out there telling us what we
- 1:07Speaker 1: should be doing. So most people already know what to do.
- 1:11Speaker 1: You know, you know that vegetables and good quality protein
- 1:15Speaker 1: are better than ultra process foods. We know movement helps
- 1:19Speaker 1: our body, and it helps our mood, It helps us sleep.
- 1:22Speaker 1: We know sleep is important in so many ways, and
- 1:25Speaker 1: we know that social media can hijack our attention and
- 1:30Speaker 1: procrastination makes things worse and not better. So knowledge usually
- 1:35Speaker 1: isn't the issue. The issue is that, in that moment,
- 1:40Speaker 1: doing the thing often feels really uncomfortable, and humans are
- 1:46Speaker 1: beautifully wired in our brains to avoid discomfort. One of
- 1:51Speaker 1: the most interesting ways I've heard this described was actually
- 1:54Speaker 1: by mart Manson, and that is self control is often
- 1:59Speaker 1: less about discipline and more about emotion. Because when we
- 2:04Speaker 1: don't do the thing we know is good for us,
- 2:07Speaker 1: it usually isn't because we've logically decided against it. It's
- 2:11Speaker 1: because something feels easier and safer and more soothing for us,
- 2:17Speaker 1: or more immediately rewarding. This is what our brains are
- 2:21Speaker 1: wired to. It's a default that we fall into. You know,
- 2:26Speaker 1: the gym feels hard, so staying at home and ordering
- 2:29Speaker 1: Uber eats feels so much easier. Going to bed feels boring,
- 2:33Speaker 1: so one more episode feels better. You know, it makes
- 2:37Speaker 1: perfect sense, But I also think there is another layer
- 2:41Speaker 1: to this. We are living in a time of extraordinary
- 2:44Speaker 1: comfort and convenience, and while there is so much to
- 2:48Speaker 1: be grateful for in that, it is fundamentally changed how
- 2:51Speaker 1: we live. If you think about our parents or grandparents' generation,
- 2:56Speaker 1: or even for me when I was When I was
- 2:58Speaker 1: a kid, you know, if I wanted to change the
- 3:01Speaker 1: TV channel, I had to get up off the sofa,
- 3:05Speaker 1: and I could only watch TV at specific times of
- 3:08Speaker 1: the day, and I had no choice what was on
- 3:11Speaker 1: because there were only apart from the fact there were
- 3:13Speaker 1: only three channels. If dinner was being made, it generally
- 3:16Speaker 1: involved planning a headge, shopping for ingredients, preparing food, cooking food,
- 3:21Speaker 1: and then cleaning up. There wasn't any delivery options. There
- 3:26Speaker 1: wasn't any fast food delivery options, and there wasn't any
- 3:30Speaker 1: online shopping options. If you wanted to go and talk
- 3:34Speaker 1: to somebody, you rang the house phone and hoped they
- 3:37Speaker 1: were home, and if that person was home, they had
- 3:40Speaker 1: to walk to the phone. If you needed something from
- 3:43Speaker 1: the shops, you had to physically go out and get it.
- 3:47Speaker 1: So movement was naturally built into life in a way
- 3:51Speaker 1: that it isn't now. There were far few convenient shortcuts.
- 3:55Speaker 1: There were simply more things people had to do. Well,
- 4:00Speaker 1: for almost everything that feels mightily inconvenient, there is an
- 4:04Speaker 1: easier alternative. We've reduced our tolerance for discomfort because of
- 4:10Speaker 1: all this convenience, Because discomfort used to be a part
- 4:14Speaker 1: of just ordinary life. Now we can avoid it almost entirely,
- 4:18Speaker 1: and we've become incredibly skilled at removing friction because we
- 4:23Speaker 1: can do so so easily. But it's often the things
- 4:26Speaker 1: that create growth they require friction. Being fit and healthy
- 4:32Speaker 1: requires effort. Strong relationships require a lot of uncomfortable conversations.
- 4:40Speaker 1: Confidence requires doing hard things even when you don't feel ready.
- 4:46Speaker 1: So if you have been beating yourself up for not
- 4:49Speaker 1: doing what you know you should do, maybe the question
- 4:53Speaker 1: is what discomfort am I trying to avoid? Actually ask
- 4:58Speaker 1: yourself that question, because often that's the real answer. And
- 5:03Speaker 1: once you can name your discomfort, that's when you can
- 5:06Speaker 1: work with it because you know longer asking why am
- 5:10Speaker 1: I doing or why am I not doing the things
- 5:12Speaker 1: that I know I should be doing, Because now you've
- 5:15Speaker 1: got more self awareness, you know why. Maybe it's a
- 5:18Speaker 1: fear of failure, or you feel overwhelmed, maybe it's perfectionism,
- 5:24Speaker 1: decision fatigue, or maybe you are just mentally exhausted. But
- 5:29Speaker 1: that awareness changes everything, because doing what's good for us
- 5:33Speaker 1: is often less about becoming a more disciplined person and
- 5:38Speaker 1: more about becoming someone willing to feel a little temporary
- 5:42Speaker 1: discomfort in the service of something bigger. The easy option
- 5:46Speaker 1: usually feels better now, but the better option usually feels
- 5:51Speaker 1: better later. And we know life is shaped by those
- 5:56Speaker 1: things that we repeatedly choose. And I'll leave you with
- 5:59Speaker 1: a quote from Marcus Aurelius. A person's worth is measured
- 6:03Speaker 1: by the worth of what they value. And I thought,
- 6:06Speaker 1: maybe I'll just adapt that a bit for our modern life,
- 6:10Speaker 1: because perhaps our worth is not just reflected in what
- 6:15Speaker 1: we say we value, but in whether we consistently act
- 6:18Speaker 1: in alignment with those values. Have a great week, everybody,
- 6:23Speaker 1: and I'll catch you next week. See you