Latest / Stacked Intent: Your Guide to Authentic, Intentional Living / How to Start Building a Deeper, More Honest Relationship With Yourself

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How to Start Building a Deeper, More Honest Relationship With Yourself · Stacked Intent: Your Guide to Authentic, Intentional Living

• 0:00
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Hello, my name is Becca Stackhouse Morson, and I am ready for you to tune in each episode with your ways to become you.
• 0:08
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Looking at ways you can be your authentic and intentional self, you'll finish each episode motivated to live life more authentically.
• 0:18
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: I learned how to be truly me through relationships, chronic disease, finances, and taking each journey along the way.
• 0:26
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Talk about the real aspects of life?
• 0:29
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Of course.
• 0:30
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Relationships, finance, nutrition, hardships, exercise are all topics that we will discuss.
• 0:37
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Pull up a seat, drive safely down the road, or get into that workout group.
• 0:43
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: To be challenged, motivated, and encouraged to be you.
• 0:46
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: This is the Stacked Intent Podcast.
• 0:50
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Welcome to episode 2 of Stacked Intent.
• 0:54
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Today we're going to talk about relationships and we're going to talk about getting to know you in those relationships.
• 1:01
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: The first part I want you to think about is this quote.
• 1:04
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Spine unknown.
• 1:15
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: But think about it in the form of defining relationships and defining healthy relationships.
• 1:23
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: These are going to be the objectives that we talk about today in our episode talk.
• 1:30
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: One thing I do want you to think about in the friendship in each stages of friendship is that sometimes we have friends that are in our life to be there for a long time, but we also may have a friend that's more of a friend of a road.
• 1:48
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And that is a friend that is there for a specific purpose in our life that is there to teach us something that we may not know that until later, but that's what we learn in that moment of time with that friendship.
• 2:05
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Then we have those friends that may come along at different stages in life.
• 2:11
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: I mean, I have some friends that are from when I was a young child all the way up into the last couple of years.
• 2:19
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And recently I got married and I had nine bridesmaids, and all but about two of them I had known for more than 10 years.
• 2:31
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: The rest of them varied, but they were close and still more than five years.
• 2:36
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So friendship is one of those things that I hold dear to what my relationships are.
• 2:43
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So let's start with our first topic.
• 2:45
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: What is a relationship?
• 2:48
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Well, typically when we hear relationships, our minds immediately go to that romantic relationship, right?
• 2:57
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: But there are other relationships that can occur.
• 3:02
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So a relationship's definition is the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or a state of being connected.
• 3:14
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Or it can also be defined as the state of being connected by blood or marriage.
• 3:19
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Some similar words that come up when we look at what the definition of relationships are.
• 3:26
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It can be a connection, a relation, association, link, or correlation, or some of those words that came up when I was kind of looking at what do we define relationships as in our definitions.
• 3:42
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: When we talk about relationships, we actually have about four different categories or types of relationships that can fall in.
• 3:53
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: We've got those family relations, we've got those friendships, acquaintances, and romantic relationships.
• 4:02
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: When we talk about those, those are your four overall arching categories.
• 4:09
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And when we talk about what makes any of these relationships work, it can be something that's an activity, it can be a communication, um, it may even come from our roles being defined.
• 4:23
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Let's start with talking about you.
• 4:25
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So you have a relationship with yourself too.
• 4:31
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It's important that we do.
• 4:33
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It's important that you learn to listen to what your inner voice is saying.
• 4:40
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Uh, learning to sit with yourself and find the ways in which you communicate.
• 4:47
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: That inner voice that you have is really important.
• 4:51
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It may take some time to have that conversation with yourself, to learn what your dreams are, to hear what your goals are, um, to become your own biggest cheerleader, but also to be able to criticize yourself as well.
• 5:07
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Looking at that is really, really important, as well as learning to trust your intuition.
• 5:15
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: I've been reading a book and it's learning how to really listen to what you are saying about yourself.
• 5:24
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Brett Hall said, don't worry what people say or what people think be yourself, which I find that so important.
• 5:34
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And in establishing stacked intent, one of the things is really learning how to um be authentically you.
• 5:43
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So it's authentically you being able to intentionally stack your life is what we're really looking to help you with here.
• 5:50
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Learning just to be you is important.
• 5:53
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: The next part is friendships, they are so important in our life, but I have found the older I've gotten, the harder it gets because it's not a preset group that you're with.
• 6:07
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Um, we talk about in our younger ages, I ha was a swimmer, and so there were friends built into being a swimmer.
• 6:19
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: I was a basketball player.
• 6:21
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: There again, you find your group of friends.
• 6:24
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Um, college, I started to find it a little bit harder, but I found some really cool friends, and they are still some of my friends today.
• 6:33
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Just talked about some of those girls that were at my wedding.
• 6:36
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Two of them were my college friends, one of them was high school.
• 6:40
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So friendships are important.
• 6:42
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Elizabeth Foley says that the most beautiful discovery is a true friendship that makes and can grow separately without growing apart.
• 6:55
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It's so beautiful when you can find those friendships that you may not see each other for a while, but then you're able to connect and you didn't grow apart while each of you are growing in your own aspects of life.
• 7:10
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: That's an awesome place to find yourself.
• 7:13
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Though it has been reported that about 49% of Americans say that they have fewer than three for close friends.
• 7:23
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Why do you think that is?
• 7:26
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: I think it's because sometimes we all get so so busy with our own lives that we miss the opportunities to be intentional with a friendship.
• 7:37
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Or we think it's too late to come back to one.
• 7:41
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: I don't think that it's ever too late to try to come back to a friendship when the doors open for that friendship to maybe rekindle and grow or start back from a new common ground that's happening.
• 7:57
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It's it's a beautiful thing to be able to keep friendships going.
• 8:01
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: But you do have to be aware and be cautious to those friends that you're letting in your life.
• 8:09
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It has been said that the four to five people that you hang out with the most, that's kind of who you become.
• 8:15
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So being aware of those close friendships you let in your life is really important.
• 8:20
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Once you get to that point and it it you're out of those ready-made groups of friends, it does get a little bit more challenging to make friendships.
• 8:34
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: But it it can be done, and you just have to create those spaces for yourself, whether it be through a hobby, um, whether it be through a group setting, whether it be through a friend of a friend, just find some ways to create some friendships and know that most of us are looking for a friendship.
• 9:01
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: In those romantic relationships, they are important.
• 9:06
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And one of the things that I have loved to use as a reminder is using into me you see.
• 9:14
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So intimacy is important, but it's really important for us to really get to know our partners.
• 9:22
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Um according to psychologist Robert Sternberg, the three concepts that are really important for our love is intimacy, passion, and commitment.
• 9:35
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And intimacy, when we hear that, a lot of times we go straight to it being a sexual intimacy.
• 9:41
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: But in any kind of marriage, that's not the only thing that is important.
• 9:47
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It's really important for us to know our partners on a physical level, but also on an emotional connection as well.
• 9:58
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: That can be just as important in making sure that our romantic relationships are able to stay on this ground of getting to continually know who our partner is and how we can continue to connect and commit.
• 10:17
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And sometimes that means you gotta make sure that you guard the time with them and make sure you plan time to spend and connect, whether that be at the end of each day, the beginning of your day, or making sure that you've got a date night that's planned.
• 10:36
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: We also have our family relationships, and so a lot of times that is the family that you are born into.
• 10:43
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So your parents, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, those are the family relationships that we have.
• 10:52
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So those are the ones that we're a lot of times born into by our blood.
• 10:57
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And then our acquaintances, these are slight friendships with somebody or knowing of knowledge of something.
• 11:06
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So these could be people like our neighbors, our coworkers, our friends, uh, maybe people that we only know in a passing.
• 11:15
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So it's people that you may know on a shallower, very not in depth of their life.
• 11:23
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So acquaintances are important.
• 11:25
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: All of these aspects of friendships, romantic relationships, our family and acquaintances, they do make up our ecosystem of how we function and we socialize.
• 11:39
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So each of these have their place in our lives, and so it's really important to find the ones that are important and find the balance of what relationships are and how you can be you in each of those.
• 11:56
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: How can you be you in your acquaintances?
• 11:59
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: How can you be you in your family?
• 12:03
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: How can you be you in your friendships?
• 12:06
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And how can you be you in your partnership?
• 12:09
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Those are all really important aspects to think about when you're bringing relationships in your life or as you're changing and developing.
• 12:19
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: The second aspect of looking at relationships is looking at a healthy relationship.
• 12:26
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And this is something that I have found such a passion for over the last couple of years because as I taught in the school system on healthy and unhealthy relationships, I really found that a lot of these sixth, seventh, and eighth graders that I was coming in contact with didn't have the same definition of a healthy relationship that I did.
• 12:53
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Uh and this healthy relationship definition, it can be tainted by what we see on TV, what we see in social media, what we see in the movies, song outlets.
• 13:07
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Sometimes they give us a highlight reel of what relationships look like.
• 13:14
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Or they only really give us this toxic version of what a relationship looks like.
• 13:21
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It doesn't really give us that healthy relationship overall how to talk through really important concepts in life, ideas, ideals, uh, learning to talk and maybe disagree, or learning to talk, and be able to come to a conclusion on the other side.
• 13:47
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So the core concepts that make up a healthy relationship are having mutual respect, having a mutual trust, and having mutual affection.
• 14:00
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: These are all core concepts to a healthy relationship, and most of these concepts apply across the board to all relationships in our life.
• 14:12
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: When we talk about having mutual respect, respect in a relationship, it simply means that you both hold each other to a high regard.
• 14:23
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So it means that you respect what your friend has to say about the news that's happening or the weather that's coming, or they've gained the place in your life to be able to call you out on something.
• 14:42
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It's having a respect that's mutual and it is a two-way road.
• 14:48
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Anytime something becomes a one-way road, that may start to indicate that it's not such a healthy relationship, or it's one of those relationships that's a friend of the road, and it's time to move on.
• 15:04
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Mutual trust in each other.
• 15:09
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It means that you take one another at you each other's words.
• 15:14
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So you trust what's said.
• 15:16
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: You don't doubt, you don't feel like you need to second guess or listen for a mistake.
• 15:23
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It means that you trust what's simply said by your friends or family or partner or even that acquaintances.
• 15:33
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Affection in a healthy relationship, it is simply that giving and receiving.
• 15:43
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It means that there is a balance of how much I give to a friendship and how much I get back.
• 15:50
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And it's not necessarily expecting there to be a return in this the in any of the relationships that you have, but it is having a being able to learn each other's love languages, and that can be with a friendship too.
• 16:29
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Learning how they receive, do they like to give?
• 16:34
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Do they like to receive gifts?
• 16:36
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Do they like your quality time?
• 16:38
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It it's just an important part to know in maintaining the quality of a healthy relationship.
• 16:47
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: One thing to think about is have you ever been in a toxic relationship or known somebody that has?
• 16:55
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Research shows has shown us that more than 60% of um us will stay in bad relationships that we don't find fulfilling at all in any way.
• 17:09
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: But sometimes this can have more to do with many habits of toxic or unhealthy relationships that sometimes people think are normal.
• 17:20
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And those can come from what we've learned at home, what you may have learned on a television show or a movie you've watched, or in a song or an outlet, in some way that you may have seen an example of a relationship, and so it is sometimes learning that what we saw isn't necessarily what healthy should be considered.
• 17:51
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Some tips that help us find those healthy relationships are you respect each other, so you don't have to delight in everything your partner does, but you still need to respect or accept when there's a difference.
• 18:11
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: You can trust one another.
• 18:13
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Um, any healthy relationship is built on a trust.
• 18:18
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: You can communicate well, whether that be as a couple or as a friendship or an acquaintancehip or as family.
• 18:30
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It's where you've got that two-way street where you're able to communicate and you need to be able to speak your mind.
• 18:38
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: It means that you're able to have a good communication.
• 18:42
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And it means you can speak your mind just as much as they can.
• 18:46
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: You're both committed to that relationship.
• 18:50
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Uh, you you're both kind.
• 18:52
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: You have you enjoy each other's company.
• 18:55
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Enjoying each other's company can be you spend time together watching TV, you spend time together with a hobby, or it could that there's lots of ways that you can enjoy each other's company.
• 19:09
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: You make decisions together, so if you're in a partnership, you respect making a collaborative decision.
• 19:18
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Uh, you support other relationships that happen.
• 19:23
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Uh, and it's really important to find some relationships where you do feel like you're cared for and you're supported.
• 19:30
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Those are real important.
• 19:32
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: I'm gonna close out today's before I recap with an Eleanor Roosevelt quote.
• 19:38
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do.
• 19:47
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: And this really, as much as it is, it recaps the relationship and really knowing who you are and being happy with who you are.
• 20:02
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: So today we talked about really just defining what relationships are, and then we really talked about defining what healthy relationships look like.
• 20:16
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: My challenge to you today is to find five relationships in your life, whether they are family, friendships, your partnership, or an acquaintancehip, and find those relationships and tell them something you appreciate about them.
• 20:42
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: That brings us to the end of this episode of Stacked Intent.
• 20:47
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: If you love this episode as much as I did, head on over and rate and subscribe so you will never miss an episode.
• 20:55
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: New episodes are going to be dropped on Thursdays.
• 20:57
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: Until then, this is Becca, and don't forget, enrich your life by being intentional.
• 21:04
  Becca Stackhouse-Morson, MS, CFLE: This podcast was created, produced, and recorded and edited by Staff Dent.