Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #169| Are You Emotionally Attached to Clutter? Here’s How to Release It For Good for Less Overwhelm
Transcript
- 0:01Michelle Gauthier: Does the thought of getting rid of something that someone you love gave you make you feel weirdly guilty?
- 0:06Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:19Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:24Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that former overwhelmed working woman and current life coach.
- 0:27Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences, and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
- 0:41Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friend, I think we all have things that we've kept for sentimental reasons I know for sure I do and depending on how much that is, it can be a cause of clutter, even if that clutter is just in your basement storage room, and we all know that physical clutter equals mental clutter and mental clutter equals overwhelm.
- 1:00Michelle Gauthier: So today you're going to discover why emotional attachment to items isn't really a reason to keep them, and I'm going to give you four sane, simple, guilt-free rules for letting go of sentimental clutter.
- 1:12Michelle Gauthier: And then you sort of have those in-between items that you feel like are too special to toss, but it's not something you really want to use.
- 1:20Michelle Gauthier: So I'm going to give you.
- 1:21Michelle Gauthier: The first thing I want to say is that not all sentimental items are equal.
- 1:26Michelle Gauthier: So, for example, I have this tiny little delicate tea cup and I love it.
- 1:32Michelle Gauthier: It's not my usual style, I don't drink tea, but I love it because it belonged to my Nana and every time I see it I feel warm and loved and connected to her and my cousins.
- 1:43Michelle Gauthier: She had this whole set of teacups and they weren't one set.
- 1:47Michelle Gauthier: When my grandpa would go on trips, or they would go on trips, she would get one cup and saucer.
- 1:52Michelle Gauthier: So none of them match each other, but she gave us each one and so it just makes me feel really loved and connected, even though I don't drink tea.
- 2:01Michelle Gauthier: That particular cup is 100% a keeper for me.
- 2:05Michelle Gauthier: But not everything sentimental gives us that Nana's teacup feeling.
- 2:10Michelle Gauthier: And the truth is I think that's the line that feeling is your compass.
- 2:14Michelle Gauthier: We hang on to stuff because we feel like we should.
- 2:17Michelle Gauthier: I know for sure that I used to think if someone made me something by hand, or if someone who I love gave me something, or if someone who I love gave me something that I have to keep it.
- 2:26Michelle Gauthier: When I got divorced I was going through basically everything that I owned and deciding what to keep and what to give away.
- 2:35Michelle Gauthier: And I was moving into a much smaller house and I really wanted to simplify my life.
- 2:37Michelle Gauthier: So I got really serious about figuring out what I wanted to keep and what I didn't.
- 2:42Michelle Gauthier: So I realized that I had some unwritten rules for myself and I want to share them with you.
- 2:47Michelle Gauthier: The unwritten rules I had for myself were actually not good at all, and when I rewrote them I made a new, good version of them that was actually helpful.
- 2:55Michelle Gauthier: So I'm going to share those three rules with you and see if this helps you if you're thinking about cleaning out some of your emotional or sentimental clutter.
- 3:03Michelle Gauthier: So the first rule that I had for myself is if the item is from someone I love, I have to keep it forever.
- 3:09Michelle Gauthier: And the rewritten version of that rule was loving a person and loving an item they gave you are two totally different things.
- 3:18Michelle Gauthier: So the happy memories that you have with that person will not be enhanced by keeping their tablecloth in a bottom drawer for seven years.
- 3:25Michelle Gauthier: Nor will the memories be diminished if you give their tablecloth in a bottom drawer for seven years.
- 3:27Michelle Gauthier: Nor will the memories be diminished if you give that tablecloth away and I wrote this one specifically because a great aunt of mine had given me a tablecloth I think the reason why she gave it to me is because she didn't especially like it and she never used it.
- 3:40Michelle Gauthier: So it's not like it was even her favorite thing, but I just thought, well, I love her and she gave it to me, so I'm just going to keep it forever.
- 3:47Michelle Gauthier: And I kept moving it from house to house, never one time got it out or used it.
- 3:51Michelle Gauthier: What is the point of that?
- 3:53Michelle Gauthier: And actually I felt really good when I gave it away, because it's like someone else could be using this.
- 3:58Michelle Gauthier: Maybe someone else would love this.
- 4:07Michelle Gauthier: The second rule that I had for myself is if the item is handmade by anyone, I have to keep it forever.
- 4:09Michelle Gauthier: This one can just be replaced by the revised rule number one, right?
- 4:13Michelle Gauthier: So if an item is handmade, rule number one still applies.
- 4:16Michelle Gauthier: And rule number one, just to remind you, is loving a person and loving the item they gave.
- 4:20Michelle Gauthier: You are two totally different things.
- 4:22Michelle Gauthier: Just like you could love an item from someone you dislike, you could love an item from someone you dislike, you can dislike an item from someone you love.
- 4:28Michelle Gauthier: They are totally not connected to one another.
- 4:33Michelle Gauthier: And the third unwritten rule that I had for myself is, if the gift giver ever comes to my house, he or she will expect it to be displayed and appreciated.
- 4:41Michelle Gauthier: Talk about putting a lot of pressure on myself right To be like ooh, what was that thing?
- 4:51Michelle Gauthier: That candle that that person gave me, I should get that out and I should burn that candle if they're coming over.
- 4:53Michelle Gauthier: And my new replacement for that rule is a gift is a gift and it should be given with zero strings attached.
- 4:59Michelle Gauthier: So your responsibility as the receiver, or my responsibility as receiver, is to thank the person for the gift and appreciate the time they took to select it or buy it or make it for you.
- 5:11Michelle Gauthier: End of story.
- 5:12Michelle Gauthier: So it could be true that they might expect you to have it and cherish it forever, but that's their expectations and that doesn't have to be your expectations.
- 5:23Michelle Gauthier: You can't help what their expectations are.
- 5:26Michelle Gauthier: They also might expect that you don't keep it forever or that you don't display it in your house.
- 5:31Michelle Gauthier: We really don't know.
- 5:32Michelle Gauthier: But just remember that your job is to sincerely thank the gift giver and that's it.
- 5:37Michelle Gauthier: And also remember this rule is true when you give gifts.
- 5:40Michelle Gauthier: Your job is to happily give a gift with no strings attached.
- 5:45Michelle Gauthier: So you can imagine how those rules that I had for myself.
- 5:48Michelle Gauthier: If the gift is from someone I love, I have to keep it.
- 5:50Michelle Gauthier: If the gift is handmade by anyone, I have to keep it.
- 5:53Michelle Gauthier: If the gift giver ever comes to my house, they will expect it to be displayed and appreciated.
- 5:58Michelle Gauthier: Imagine how many things that stayed in my house because I had those rules, and now imagine how many things exited my house because I had the new rules and I promise you it felt so good to get rid of so many things.
- 6:15Michelle Gauthier: I didn't give away everything.
- 6:16Michelle Gauthier: There were some things that I felt really were important to me.
- 6:21Michelle Gauthier: Even though an item is just an item, they felt really important to me.
- 6:25Michelle Gauthier: For example, my grandmother gifted me her dining room table and chairs and it was one of her prized possessions.
- 6:33Michelle Gauthier: She just absolutely loved it.
- 6:34Michelle Gauthier: I had had many a meal growing up, even when I was a little girl, sitting at that table, so it was special to me, but it was completely not my style.
- 6:43Michelle Gauthier: The chairs especially.
- 6:45Michelle Gauthier: My house is really modern and contemporary and they were very ornate and classic.
- 6:49Michelle Gauthier: So when I received them, according to all my old rules.
- 6:53Michelle Gauthier: I just put them in my basement storage area and paid movers to move them two or three times.
- 6:59Michelle Gauthier: And, by the way, there were like 12 chairs.
- 7:00Michelle Gauthier: It was a lot of chairs and finally, when I revised my rules, I knew I didn't want to give them away.
- 7:08Michelle Gauthier: I gave away so many things but I knew I didn't want to give them away.
- 7:11Michelle Gauthier: So I thought how could I possibly reuse these, remake these?
- 7:16Michelle Gauthier: Could I use them for a different purpose?
- 7:18Michelle Gauthier: So it was a set of 12 chairs and I decided to keep two.
- 7:22Michelle Gauthier: I offered the other ones to my cousins and my siblings to make sure no one wanted the ones I was giving away.
- 7:27Michelle Gauthier: No one did, so I ended up just giving the rest of those chairs away.
- 7:31Michelle Gauthier: But I kept the two, like the I think they're called host chairs, the ones that have like the arms on the side, like you'd sit at the head of the table.
- 7:39Michelle Gauthier: And I hired a designer to remake them to fit the style of my home, not the wooden part of the chair, but to make some cushions with really modern patterns on them.
- 7:49Michelle Gauthier: So it looks kind of cool like a combination of her and me together and I love them.
- 7:53Michelle Gauthier: I've used them all over my house and when I see them it makes me happy because it feels like something that I love and something that came from someone I love.
- 8:02Michelle Gauthier: Another way you could do something like this if you have.
- 8:05Michelle Gauthier: My sister actually did the same thing.
- 8:07Michelle Gauthier: She had a ring that she inherited, but she didn't love the setting, so she used the jewel stone part of it set into a little necklace, and she loves that.
- 8:18Michelle Gauthier: You could have furniture painted.
- 8:20Michelle Gauthier: I've done that many times.
- 8:22Michelle Gauthier: You could frame a quilt square.
- 8:25Michelle Gauthier: You could make a shirt into a scarf or a pillow, so there's many ways that you can reuse or change up an item in a way that suits you.
- 8:34Michelle Gauthier: So I think the biggest takeaway from this is if the clutter is causing you a headache which I think clutter always does, even for me, if it's in my basement, in the storage room, I can still feel it down there.
- 8:46Michelle Gauthier: If it's giving you a headache or making you feel overwhelmed, I think the biggest thing to remember is that loving a person and loving an item they gave you is not the same thing, and that your memories with that person will not be diminished if you donate an item that they gave you, nor will they be enhanced if you keep that item in your basement storage room for the next 20 years.
- 9:05Michelle Gauthier: Reach out to me and send me a message if this has helped you or if you have any questions.
- 9:11Michelle Gauthier: I would love to help you think through your own sentimental clutter to reduce your overwhelm.
- 9:16Michelle Gauthier: Have a great week.
- 9:17Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 9:25Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.
- 9:29Michelle Gauthier: com.
- 9:31Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.