Latest / Shawna and LaLa: Life Beyond The Mic / Don't Trust Anyone

Transcript

Don't Trust Anyone · Shawna and LaLa: Life Beyond The Mic

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: From the heart of the city, where the beat meets
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: the rhythm of your day.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: It's Shawna.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: What's up? You're listening to Shauna and Lalla. Check us
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: out at Shauna and Lala dot com on all social
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: media platforms at Shauna and La La. You could follow
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: me on Instagram at the Real Shauna May.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: Check me out at Bella Underscore Lalla one two five.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: I have officially made it to week four of my
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: TMS treatments and I missed my appointment today. I overslapped
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: because I was up all night long with severe stomach
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: pains once again, and I missed the appointment. I can't
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: believe it.
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: Oh my god. And today was like an important appointment, right.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're going to do like a whole nother evaluation
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: on me to see if how it's working. And it's
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: obviously working, but yeah, it was a very important day.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: Oh geez, it's always something.
• 1:11
  Speaker 5: I know.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I've just been so overwhelmed lately, like with the show,
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: like everything that we have going on, and it's just
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: been insane. We're booked out to like almost June.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: With interviews, interviews, events. Oh my god. Yeah, that's insane.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: So we have a busy summer and it's concert season
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: coming up.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so you're gonna be doing concerts that night and
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: then craziness during the day, events, interviews, and I know
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: how that goes, with everything being too hectic, never having
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: a second. It's really it is a lot, and it's
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: a lot on the brain, it's a lot on your
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: emotional mental state. And the good thing is it keeps
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: you busy. The bad thing is just everything that comes
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: along with that, the stress.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like everything just piled on me this week's Yeah,
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: but yeah, how's your week going? You have a lot
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: of events coming up?
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: Oh, just like you're saying with the show, it's it's
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: gonna be, it's gonna be. I'm not gonna have a
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: summer basically, So I'm not looking forward to that. I
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: am looking forward to making money and being successful. But
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: you know, I know that takes sacrifice, and the sacrifice
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: is going to come to not having a summer. So
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: but yes, it's it's gonna be busy, very busy. So
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: how did the Real Abilities Festival go? I'm really upset
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: that I missed it.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: It was really really good. It was so much fun
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: and it was probably one of the best events that
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: I've been to.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: Really, that's awesome.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: It was totally handicap accessible obviously, which was really nice
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: for a change.
• 2:48
  Speaker 6: They had food, drinks.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, the food was amazing. You know, I
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: love food, and you know, my stomach and everything acting
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: up and so all my medication with me and I
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: just you know, was like picking. Every time somebody would
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: come around, They're like, would you like this? I'm like sure.
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: It was so good.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: But yeah, there was so many people there. It was
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: so loud that we couldn't do interviews.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we learned our lesson at the last event. It
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: was just too loud. There wasn't a quiet spot for us.
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: And a lot of our interviews from the last event
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: that we did somewhere they really were were not usable
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: and it was very very frustrating, you know.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I didn't even take a chance, you know,
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: doing any that night. So what we're going to do
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: is we're going to do them over zoom and I'm
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: working on setting all of them up.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: So awesome.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but everyone was really really sweet. There was Isaac
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: he is the CEO. He was so nice, and Ali.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: I met Ali and r J and they of course
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: were like super sweet and and.
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: Just real right from when I was listening and stuff.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: They're just down to earth and real and I love that.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they really are. His family has their own foundation
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: and we'll get into the interview later on during the show,
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: but yeah, super sweet people. We had a really nice time.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: I love r J. I mean I actually told Seana
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: about to watch his show back in the day, like
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: Breaking Bad.
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I never got to watch it though.
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and me it was during COVID, I believe me,
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: and I know it's older than that, but we were.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: We binged it and I just fell in love with
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: URJ because he was just he was a good actor,
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: number one, and just he played his part so well,
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: the emotion that he showed, especially when he was dealing
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: with his dad in the show. He's a great actor,
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: he really is, and that's awesome. I'm really upset that
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: I I didn't get to meet him because I do
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: love him.
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: Well, maybe when he's in New York again, we could.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: Set that up.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Yeah, that'd be so cool.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: The movie that played the other night was called Lone Wolves,
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: and that was really good. It was so funny.
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: I know you were telling you were telling me some
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: of the scenes and I was dying laughing.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Like what, Yeah, it was definitely not a kid's movie.
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: But it was.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: It was really funny, and I can't wait to see
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: RJ's movie, so we'll have to watch it together. But yeah,
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: after these few weeks, I really need a vacation.
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: I know, I hear your girl. I was just talking
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: to Mike about that and like, we need to go
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: somewhere again right now. Let's plan it because I need
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: something to look forward to. That is usually my antidepressant,
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: or my anti stressor, is if I have a vacation booked,
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: even if it's a year from now, I'm good like that.
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: I that's the light at the end of the tunnel.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: Everyone needs that book booked vacation to have that light
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: at the end of the tunnel.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the only freaking vacation I have booked is going
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: to West Virginia.
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: I'm only laughing because when when she told me this
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: the other day, she said, my mom booked a trip.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: I said, oh, awesomewhere West Virginia. I said, okay, it's
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: pretty What are you doing looking at train tracks? And
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: I was like, what train tracks? So that's why I'm laughing.
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: Because it just sounds like it sounds dreadful the way
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: she described it.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: But so what I think it is, I'm not really
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: one hundred percent sure. But my mom is part of
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: this like old lady group, and.
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: My grandmother was sounding better and better.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: My grandmother was a part of it, and they go
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: on trips and they do like volunteering and stuff around
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: the community. So, yeah, this is a trip that they
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: are all going on and I am invited to go.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: But what it is is, I believe it's what you
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: were saying, where you take a train around like the
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: mountains or wherever. Yeah, and you stay on the train.
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And if it's that, like you just said, we're
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: gonna stare at train tracks or going what she said.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: I know I'm teasing, but if it is the train
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: ride that I'm thinking of, it goes through the mountains,
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: through the woods. It's really gorgeous. You get to go
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: through these little old towns. I think you'll enjoy that.
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: Just the scenery is really beautiful. I think they usually
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: have food on there, and if you're staying on there,
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: you know they have the sleeping quarters, they have the bathrooms.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: But I think you'll enjoy that I know, I've wanted
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: to do a trip like that on the train because
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: it's just it's a slower pace and you get to
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: enjoy it and you're not trapped because you can get
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: up and you can go to the bathroom and you
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: can eat something, you know, so it makes it nicer.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: So I think you'll enjoy yourself. You're gonna be the
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: youngest person there, but.
• 8:01
  Speaker 6: Yes, I will be the youngest.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: We actually did a trip to the city many years
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: ago and it was actually a lot of fun. Okay,
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: so yeah, I mean, I'm kind of looking forward to it.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: I'm looking forward to just getting away, but West Virginia
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: would not be my first tick pick. They are having
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: a cruise to I believe the Bahamas or Bermuda, and
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: I said to my mom, I'm like, why don't we
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: go on that trip next year? And she's like, we can,
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: but we need passports. I said, that's not a problem.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: We'll go to the post office and get them.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you really should. I'm gonna push her to do
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: that because I think you guys will have a good
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: time and you'll get to go to the beach and
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: you know, and there's a lot of entertainment a lot
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: of shows. You're never going to be bored on the cruise.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: So I think that's a good trip for you guys.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm still dying to go to Italy.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: Oh, I know. I tell everyone you have to go
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: before you get old. You have to go because it's
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: a once in a lifetime trip.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Well.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: I looked up Peril Tours last night and it's like
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: four grand I was reading for like sevent days, so
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: that's not too bad.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: And you know it's like they take you everywhere, right, Yeah,
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: they take you.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: Everywhere, and there's different like towns, they visit different cities.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: So I'm really looking forward to looking more into that
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: and maybe just booking a trip.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah you should. You know, life short, go see the world,
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: experience history, experience especially in Italy. The amazing food, the
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: amazing culture. It's something that you'll never forget. That was
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: probably the best trip I've ever gone on in my life,
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: was going to Italy and experiencing so many different things,
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: so many.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: Well, speaking of Italy on the show and tours. On
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: the show today, we have Linda Perillo and I absolutely
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: was obsessed with her father's commercial when I was little.
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: I know, I think everyone our age and probably older
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: remembers those commercials of the Perilo tours, because I do.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: On the show today, we have Linda Perillo, and I
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: was so excited when we got this email because I
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: remember growing up watching TV and the.
• 10:32
  Speaker 6: Commercial for Parillo Tours. Yep.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:36
  Speaker 6: I always would be with my grandmother.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: She would watch me while my mom worked, and I
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: would always say, like, one.
• 10:44
  Speaker 6: Of these days, I'm going to go on that tour
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: to Italy.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Yea, And it never happened, but no, but you know,
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: my mom and I were talking about it this weekend
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: and I told her. I was like, I just really
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: want to go to Italy and she's like, the only
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: way we're going is if we go on like one
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: of those tours. And I was like, like, Parilo.
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: Tour, Absolutely, that's the only tour to go on, of course,
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: of course.
• 11:13
  Speaker 6: So yes, I need to look into it.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: I went on your website this morning, good and I
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: just I've always wanted to go on your tours.
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: So I know she that was like our childhood, was
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: that commercial? Yeah, right, Parlo.
• 11:27
  Speaker 6: Tours with the glass of wine.
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: You know, let me tell you something, it's actually it
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: for me as like as you know, as Mario's daughter.
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: What's so heartwarming to hear He's been gone twenty three
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: almost twenty four years already, right, and when people see
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: me they always say, we remember your father. And it's
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: been at least twenty three years since he made a commercial.
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: So his staying power, his persona and all that resonates
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: so much. And as his child, like, that's amazing to me.
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: So I love here, and you're young. You know, his
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: fan base was at this point was old. I mean,
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: you know their kids are traveling now. So I love
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: love hearing that. So thank you. You made my day.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so true.
• 12:20
  Speaker 6: I just I don't know.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: I just always dreamt.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: Of going on a paro door.
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah he all right, well don't dream anymore. Let's get
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: on there. I know.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: Yes, there's nothing like Italy. It's it's so amazing, right, Yeah,
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: you you step back in time in a lot of areas.
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: And we went and we spent a month there with
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: my brother in law. He lived my gosh, yeah, he
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: lives in Gaita. He was in the military, so we
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: stayed with him and then we went to Venice. He
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: took us all over so we had our guide, but
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: it was beautiful. There's you have to go, it's there's
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: no have to go. We didn't have all places, but
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: we get used to it. After two nights, I was
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: finally used to like sloating.
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: The window and the window they are I have to
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: tell you, they have advanced somewhat in their HVAC areas,
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: especially with these more modern you know, the hotels, and
• 13:18
  Speaker 5: they fix them up because the Americans are always complaining.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: The Europeans are very used to having just fresh air
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: flow and even in the summertime. So it's really a
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: matter of culture more than anything else. But they're definitely
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: better because the Americans complain existently.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, in August it was very hot and all, oh
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: my god, holy Yeah.
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, definitely yes.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: So can you take us back to the beginning and
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: share a little about your journey and how you got
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: there today?
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: So which beginning are we? Are we talking about Linda
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: as a child and growing up in the family that
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: I did, or about the book? Like what do you
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: what do you want to know the most about? Yeah,
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: I can talk a lot.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: We do.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: Your childhood and you know, your father owning the number
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: one tourist company, you know, and and being part of that,
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: and you know what you learned from him, and then
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: we'll go into the book.
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: Okay, terrific. Well, I had a wonderful family. I am
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: the last of four, I'm the baby, and it was
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: a really an amazingly wonderful traditional Italian upbringing. I wrote
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: about it in the book. My parents were great people.
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: My father was generous, my mother was traditional. She was
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: an immigrant, but she was progressive and a great mom.
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: And I just had a lot of really great memories
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: and being the last of four. My father originally was
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: an immigration attorney, so he started out in law with
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: his actually with two of his three brothers and my grandfather.
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: They were all immigration attorneys in the Bronx and so
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: ps fast forward. Once the immigration wave ended, my father
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: reversed it and started sending the descendants of the immigrants
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: back to Italy for pleasure. Right, So that's how Perillo
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: Tours started. So I was a baby at the time.
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: My oldest closest sibling to me youngest would be my
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: brother Stephen, who's presently CEO of Perillo Tours, and we're
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: twelve years different. So I kind of got a lot
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: of the fact that dripped off the plate when it
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: started to drip off in terms of traveling a lot
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: when I was a child, and it was the most
• 15:56
  Speaker 5: amazing experience and it's not something I take for granted,
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: like at all. Right, I learned a lot, like you said,
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: I mean, I went to Italy several times a year.
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: Then when my father was doing other things, cruises and
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: looking at other countries, I was always with my parents.
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: And I went to Catholic school my whole life, and
• 16:13
  Speaker 5: the nuns said, take her, it's an education. Taker. They
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: did make me keep a journal, they did make me
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: write essays when I got back, but listen, it was
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: worth it, right, Yes, So I had up until my
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: mom died. Unfortunately, when I was twenty eight, I had
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: just had my first child, my son, Devin, and that
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: was traumatic. And then my dad died eight years later.
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: So by the time I was thirty five, I had nobody.
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: It was just me, and then my brother Mark passed away,
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: and then you know, all these losses, you know, they
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: do form your future adulthood, you know, unfortunately, all the
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: trauma that you suffered, and then you know, I started
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: to realize, oh my god, you know, these things that
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: I had were treasures. My parents, you know, was a treasure.
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: My brother Mark was had he had schizophrenia, and I
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: learned from him too, and you know, he passed away,
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: and you start to realize that these were all gifts
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: and that things in life are very temporary sometimes, right.
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: So now we move on from all this beautiful life
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: stuff that I had, and my father leaves us, me
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: and my three siblings. Mark was alive at the time,
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: leaves us his fortune, leaves us all his money and
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: firmly believes that he leaves his money in the hands
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: of the right people by putting it into a trust right.
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: And did you guys read the book?
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: Did you look through to this part? And I just
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: can't believe it.
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: You cannot believe my therapist, who's amazing, who honestly I'm
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: all about therapy and mental health and she is just
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: June her name is and she's most wonder person. She
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: said to me over and over again in the last
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: twenty five years. This is like a movie. I can't
• 18:07
  Speaker 5: write because one thing was happening, and then another thing
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: was happening, and then you cannot believe that human beings
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: would treat another human being, and people that were supposed
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: to be like we're going to use the word. I
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: felt like a ward of the state. You understand that.
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: But yet I was supposed to be a ward in
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: the greatest way possible, where I was protected. But what
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: they did, and you'll read the book, is they used
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: my money against me because every single one of them
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: there was something called what do they call it, absolute discretion,
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: which if you knew Mario and you knew my father meant, look,
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: as long as they're not building a brothel in Tahiti,
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: let them have their money. Because he was very big
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: on what are your proclivities? Right, what are your talents?
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: What do you love to do? What's your passion? And
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: I use an analogy all the time, like if I'm
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: a bee keeper, and actually bees are very interesting at
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: we're learning about bees as insects now right, National GEO
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: has a whole thing about bees because somebody may really
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: be into beekeeping. But just because you're not, you're wrong,
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying, So you can't be a
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: bee or we think that's a silly thing to do.
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: You must do this, this and this, And I was
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: in jail. I've been in jail for twenty four years.
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: Financially since my father died because the money was in
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: the wrong hands. But it wasn't even just mean. It
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: was torturous and if you read some of the things
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: that went on, because I stood up for myself. I
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: stood up for myself, I stood up for my family.
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: I said, we can't be treated like this. My father
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: left me money to live. They didn't want me to
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: live because in their eyes, I had had it all
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: growing up as a child. Right, I had all the babbles.
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: I had the car and the private school and all that.
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: Even though it was done in a beautiful way. My
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: father was always like he said, I made this empire
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: for my family because when you come from an immigrant mentality,
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: which he did, right. His family was immigrants, My mother
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: was an immigrant. You came here to the United States
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: for the dream, You came here properly, you did all
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: the right things, which he did. I mean, he was
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: above board with everything he did. And now what happens
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: to this fortune. You want to give it to your children,
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: and you want your children to grow up better than
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: you did, right, have a better education, and if you
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: can provide for them, you did it. And that was
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: Mario's entire mantra. My whole life, so to have people
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: come along and try and suffocate your child financially, so
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: she didn't have And I had eight children on top
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: of it, right, I mean when he passed away, I
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: only had three, but I had five more after. And
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: it has been the most arduous, tortuous journey that you
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: could imagine. And slowly, slowly, every day a little more light,
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: a little more light, a little more light. But in
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: the end your lessons are learned, right, lessons about money,
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: lessons about how the rest of the world lives, the
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: regular world lives.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: And my father always said that to me. He always
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: said people don't live the way we live. And he
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: always reminded me that, he said, this is through hard work.
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: And I think I realize now I'm going to be
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: fifty nine. I hate to say it in July and
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: thank you and I go wow. For him to do
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: what he was able to do, it was non stop tenacity,
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: right every single day. And what was at the route
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: the root was to be a good provider and to
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: give to his family. So for me to end up
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: the way I did and my children to be part
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: of unfortunately, to be what do they call that collateral
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: damage in this whole thing was just awful. And you know,
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: we went through a lot as a family and you'll
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: read it in the book, you know, and we're getting
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: better and that's God's gift.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: Sometimes we have to suffer right in order to appreciate goodness.
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: And I think that's part of my journey because I
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: say all the time, if I had to write my
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: chapters right. I told my friend the other day, I said,
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: if I had to go back to my twenty year
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: old self and tell her what was going to happen,
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: she'd be like, no, leaping way is any of this
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: going to happen to you. You're going to be married
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: for fifty years, you're gonna have all your kids, you're
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: gonna have money, You're gonna be No. And sometimes we
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: have to go back to that and say, I'm thankful
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: for the lessons, even as an adult, right, we have
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: to be thankful for lessons. And that's something that I
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: was able to pass on to my kids. Every day,
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: everything happens for a reason. Our journey is already imprinted
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: somewhere and you can't fight it. So did that answer
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: the question?
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: It did?
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: No, No, it was perfect. I don't know if it
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: is going to answer the second or maybe you went
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: into that. So is that what the question was? What
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: inspired you to write your payment method has been declined and.
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: Well exactly right, and what made you feel ready?
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: So what made you feel ready then to share that story?
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: What was that that point in your life that you're like,
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: I want to share this.
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: Well. I was going through a divorce at the same
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: time that I was in my second lawsuit with the trustees,
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: so it was like everything came down on me at
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: one time. And I was always a writer. I always
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: wanted to write. That's my thing, right. I love broadcast
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: like you guys, and I love to write. So during
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: this entire thing is the divorce the trustees, I was
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: kickboxing and I completely detached my right achilles So I
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: was off my feet for almost six months. And I
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: am very devout in my faith and have gotten even more,
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: which I didn't think I could possibly be. But I said, God,
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: what or what is this trauma? And what did I
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: do with it? I was sitting down and I said, Linda,
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: you can't get up really and go do much. So
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: now's the time to finish the book. Now's the time
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: to completely get in there and dissect it and go back.
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: And it took a lot of writes and rewrites, because
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: you know, you start out sometimes with a certain emotion
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: and a certain level of anger, right, which you have
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: to keep in mind. And I tell my kids this,
• 25:32
  Speaker 5: especially in this age of social media, writing is indelible. Okay,
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: you can never retract what you've written, right, right, So,
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: with a lot of encouragement from my wonderful therapist, my
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: friends who loved me, I would say, read this, or
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: they will go, yeah, no you can't, yeah, no, no, no, no,
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: you can't call that person that. You can't say thing
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: looks like that, like you know all but it was
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: a purge. But eventually I refined the purge and the
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: book was born. It was like having a ninth child.
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: It's therapeutic.
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: I was gonna say, I think that's probably filled you even, right,
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: even if you couldn't put that stuff in there, getting
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: it out on paper, even calling that bad name, it
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: was like.
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: Oh it's fabulous, oh right, God, but being able. So
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: you know, you bring that up about the book being
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: a Catharsis, and it is because even things like this,
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: you know, you want to know in your head. When
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: you're going through all of this, you say, where is
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: the revenge? How am I going to get back? How
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: am I going to hurt these people? And it was
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: never through the book. It was to be able to
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: finally have a voice to say I wrote about this,
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: and I recount and this is my side in the
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: classiest line away possible without being like really a bad person.
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you the story, and that's why it is therapeutic.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: Also, yeah, I always believe in saying names and and
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: I'm a very I'm allowed person. I'm a I have
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: a very very big mouth. And my mom is always
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: you know, me and Laila are actually currently writing a book.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: And I had my mom like look it over and
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: she was just like, you can't have that in there.
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: Take it out.
• 27:37
  Speaker 5: You can't wait a second. You know what I did?
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: I was inspired. It was al though inspiration. Everybody had
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: a code name, and there was no mistaking who was who.
• 27:54
  Speaker 5: If you knew my life and you knew my story,
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: you knew you knew that who I've talked about. So
• 27:58
  Speaker 5: guess what. Guess what I didn't write about you? That's
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: not you, no right, and that's how you that's your
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: cover that's what you gotta do.
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: That's a good idea.
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, Code names everything, the investor, the lawyer, the doctor,
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: the godfather, the uncle. Oh and anybody that knew my story,
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: you know exactly who it was was.
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: I hope they know when they read it.
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: I hope they know too. I agree with you.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: I do, sure they're good to know.
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: It's help me.
• 28:29
  Speaker 6: Well, if you think it is.
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: It's I don't have the shoe fits. Yeah, that's it.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: So out of everything that you've experienced, because you have
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: gone through so much in your life, what would you
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: say has been the most the thing that shaped you
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: the most?
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: Parenthood being a mom, for sure. And you know, I
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: think too. In this age of again we talk about
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: it against social media media and you know, Instagram and Facebook,
• 29:03
  Speaker 5: and everybody's saying how perfect they are, how perfect their
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: kids are, how perfect the house looks. You know, I'm
• 29:09
  Speaker 5: the anti that because that's not it and that's not
• 29:15
  Speaker 5: life and nobody lives like that, which is why I
• 29:18
  Speaker 5: write the way I do. I'm very colloquial, I'm very
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: real because I hate that. And the thing about parenting
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: and being a mom especially is it has to be
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: painful sometimes if you're doing it right and right you're
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: raising another human being. You have to be an uncomfortable situation,
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: sometimes say things that are uncomfortable and nobody wants to
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: get upset with their kid or whatever, but they need
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: that and that's part of loving them. And I realized
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: that I had that responsibility to create another human being
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: and to give them values, to give them respect. And
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: I watch other kids now. My oldest is thirty, my
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: youngest is twelve, So I have like two fringe. I'm
• 30:09
  Speaker 5: on the fringe of two completely different generations of parenting, right,
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: And I realize that parents today are missing the basics
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: of parenting. And if you stop with all this, I
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: don't know rubrics and stickers and I never had charts
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: and stuff. That wasn't my thing. I focused on what
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: was important, and that was making my kids a good
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: human being. Right. I don't care. I mean, do I
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: care about school? I do secondary to.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: The same way. I'm the same way.
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, what did you say good morning to me? Did
• 30:47
  Speaker 5: you say goodbye? When I don't care? I'm your mother,
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: I still give you a ride to school? You know
• 30:52
  Speaker 5: what I mean? They should get into that parents today.
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: It blows my mind, because they give so much deference
• 30:59
  Speaker 5: to the child that the child is in control of
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: this situation, and there's ways to make the child think
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: that they're in control when they are really not. Okay,
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: So parenting shapes you because you realize the importance of
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: certain things and the non importance of other things. If
• 31:20
  Speaker 5: that makes sense, right, Do.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: You find yourself parenting differently from the time you had
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: your first child till till now? Because so many I mean,
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: parenting these days is so different from when I was younger.
• 31:33
  Speaker 6: Oh and yeah, your parents while our.
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: Parents, like how are parents parented not as bad?
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: Because like I got hit with the one that is bad?
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: Say, but I haven't.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: I haven't hit my kids with the oneson I'll think there.
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: But but you know, like my mom was like anytime
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: you looked at.
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: Her wrong, Oh my god. I remember, like my mother
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: had her rings, you know, she had her wedding and
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: on her and diamond and like boom, I had a
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: cut on my lip. And this was a wonderful, godly
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: woman and she just know it shut up, you know,
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: but you can't. And the wood spots. You came after
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: me with the spoon many times. I remember going to
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: bed at like in the summertime when it was like
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: four o'clock in the afternoon, because I was getting punished
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: for some mouthy thing, and I learned, you know what, Linda,
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: you really can't mouth off like that was bad, you
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: know what I'm saying. So to answer your question, my
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: thirty year old would say, and my twenty nine almost
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: twenty nine year old would say, Mom, they get away
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: with so much other stuff because I think what ends
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: up happening is the importance that you put on certain things.
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: You start not putting on the younger ones, especially when
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: you've gone through it so many times. But again, it
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: comes back to the basics of parenting. And like you said,
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: you can't hit your kid anymore. You just can't in
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: trouble like as much as we want to, and right,
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: the urge, believe me, the urge is there and I
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: have back off. But you know, yeah, so of course
• 33:12
  Speaker 5: things have things have changed, but the core of the
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: value system cannot and that's important.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, we have to shape this new generation better.
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: Oh a little concerned, but I'm a little concerned.
• 33:28
  Speaker 5: You know, these parents, I'm like, I want to say
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: to this generation of parents, you are worried about the
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: wrong stuff. Enough, yes, right, So.
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: What advice would you give to someone who feels like
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: they're going through a really tough season in their life
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: right now?
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: Therapy? Everyone needs a therapist. And I know, listen, coming
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: from the old school Italian generation where I could hear
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: my grandmother going, what a therapy? You don't need a therapy.
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: You got a mother, You gotta fun, You go a
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: talk and you talk it to God. I listen it.
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: It does you need an unbiased, unemotional ear because being
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: an Italian woman, there's a lot of emotion. Am I right? Girls, Okay,
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: everything becomes I feel, I feel I'm gonna cry. I cry.
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: You need somebody to kind of say, okay, I'm here
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: and I'm gonna try and set you on the right path.
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: So I think, like all my kids, they've been through trauma.
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: They've been through the trauma, divorce, a remarriage, my moving
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: out of their childhood home. I mean, these are all
• 34:40
  Speaker 5: problems that I would love to solve for them as
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: a mother and help them. But sometimes as much as
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: you love them, the unbiased ear is so important and
• 34:54
  Speaker 5: the professional that will help them uncover maybe other things
• 34:59
  Speaker 5: that we're going through. So I am all about therapy
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: one thousand percent mental health. Listen, mental health is as
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: important as physical health a thousand. You know, it's just
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: you know, I had a brother that was a schizophrenic,
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: and my father always said, you lose the mind. Once
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: the mind has been distorted in any way, everything else
• 35:25
  Speaker 5: starts to disintegrate. And it is true. The mind controls everything.
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: So keep that mind healthy. And that's my that's my advice, truly.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: It's so true.
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: My husband, he's an Italian, he doesn't believe in therapy
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: especially Yeah.
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: Oh I live with one of those.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: I know it.
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but he just went he's a police officer and
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: he had to go to this training in Kentucky and
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: they did a therapy session with a psychiatrist.
• 35:56
  Speaker 5: Oh boy, he's been amazing. He came home he loved it.
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: He loved it, and I said, yeah, he's been so chill.
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: He's like, oh, that's not a big deal. I'm like, Okay,
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: let's get her number and have you meet.
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: With your Yeah, let's leend you some family therapy. Because people,
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: I think there's an old school thing about a psychiatrist
• 36:17
  Speaker 5: and a psychologist and they're going to give you drugs
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: and it's a shrink and oh my god, and you're
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: gonna lay on the couch and you're gonna tell in
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: your weird dreams that's not it. It's help. You would go.
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: I tell my kids. Right, if you had some kind
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: of issue physically and your arm hurt, and your arm
• 36:36
  Speaker 5: kept hurting and it was bothering you, you go to
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: the doctor. Right. If they gave you a shot, or
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: they gave you an antibiotic because you had stripped throat,
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: you take it right. Treat your mind with the same
• 36:49
  Speaker 5: care that you treat the physical. Right, the mind controls everything.
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: You could psych yourself out of thinking something, and it's wonderful.
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: And here's the other thing that's so important. Therapy teaches
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: you not only about yourself, but about others. Right. I'm
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: able now to be so much better at like discerning
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: when I speak to somebody, I know why she answered
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: me like that, or I know why he answered me
• 37:18
  Speaker 5: like that. They're insecure, they're jealous, they're mad, they've had
• 37:21
  Speaker 5: a bad luck, and I walk away. And I don't
• 37:24
  Speaker 5: take it personally because that was my biggest issue. Yeah,
• 37:27
  Speaker 5: I took everything personally. I don't do it anymore. But
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: it takes work and dedication, just like you'd go to
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: the gym. Right, Yes, therapy needs that much attention.
• 37:39
  Speaker 6: M hm.
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: That's so true.
• 37:43
  Speaker 5: So true.
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: People need to do it, and I think a lot
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: of people have problems with that, with taking taking it personally.
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: Most things in life's personally, and a lot of problems between,
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: you know, for yourself and for other people.
• 37:56
  Speaker 5: So oh yeah, I mean listen, I walk away from
• 37:58
  Speaker 5: a conversation sometimes and I'm going, you need therapy. Bye,
• 38:04
  Speaker 5: have a nice day. You need some woman. We were
• 38:09
  Speaker 5: just at a cruis and someone would turned to me
• 38:11
  Speaker 5: and she's like she whistled at me because I was bingo.
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: I mean we were on a cruise and she's like
• 38:16
  Speaker 5: whistled and then she goes shut up and I said,
• 38:20
  Speaker 5: you need therapy, and I sat down because she did.
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: Ye.
• 38:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah, saying that to my fani.
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: No, she needs to make the shirt says you need therapy,
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: You need therapy.
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: That's it. And I'll put June on the back, my therapist.
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: I'll put her picture of the back on phone Paul, June.
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: That is a good idea.
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, so funny.
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: So what advice would you give to someone who is
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: setting up a trust fund for their child, especially when
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: it comes to protecting them long term, but also make
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: I'm sure it doesn't create complications down the road. So
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: my mom has a trust fund for me, and my
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: biggest fear is that I'm not going to get what
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: she put into it.
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: You know, well, I think if I had, I have
• 39:17
  Speaker 5: so many answers to that question, because I've been asked
• 39:21
  Speaker 5: and I know people that knew me as I went
• 39:24
  Speaker 5: through this hell and have said, we're completely revamping at
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: what we're doing right, I would say, don't put anything
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: in a trust. I would tell you this is what
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: you tell your kids before you're pushing up daisies. You
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: sit down with them and you say, look, I'm giving
• 39:45
  Speaker 5: you my money. Sharon Shayl like, it is up to
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: you to make the right decisions because everyone has a
• 39:56
  Speaker 5: different view on what they want to use money for.
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: And the problem with trustees and I just had a horrible,
• 40:04
  Speaker 5: horrible experience with corporate with a bank they're making decisions
• 40:09
  Speaker 5: for they're telling you whether that money that you're gonna
• 40:13
  Speaker 5: use for whatever you want. Your whole life is on
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: display for everybody, and I don't think that's fair. But
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: the bottom line is you have to make sure that
• 40:25
  Speaker 5: you're responsible with that money, because if you run out,
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: there is no more money. Nobody's investing it for you, right.
• 40:32
  Speaker 5: But I do feel that my children, if I had
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: the choice and I made enough money on my own right,
• 40:37
  Speaker 5: I would say to them, you're all going to get
• 40:39
  Speaker 5: a share, but you have to do the right thing
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: with it. I'm going to be dead, so I can't
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: help you. And another thing is when you're alive and
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: you pick trustees, these people will yes you to death,
• 40:53
  Speaker 5: as these people did to my father. Some of them
• 40:56
  Speaker 5: were friends, business people, cousins, relatives. They'll yes you to death. Yes,
• 41:02
  Speaker 5: Mario will take care of it. And then guess what,
• 41:05
  Speaker 5: when you're dead, you're dead and nobody's gonna come to
• 41:10
  Speaker 5: your kids rescue because you can't anymore. So I would
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: say trusts are a terrible Now do they protect? Yes?
• 41:18
  Speaker 5: God forbid, Like my house is in a trust. Okay
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: if somebody, I don't know, if God forbid one of
• 41:22
  Speaker 5: my kids at a car accident and hit somebody, they
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: can't come after my house. They can't come after my
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: money because it's in a trust. That is a protective mechanism.
• 41:32
  Speaker 5: What I would do in that case is take your money,
• 41:37
  Speaker 5: put it in your own trust and make yourself the trustee. Okay, period,
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: but never ever trust anyone else. I don't care who
• 41:48
  Speaker 5: it is with your money for your children, bad bad
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: bad or a bank they were just as horrendous, horrendous.
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: Even horrendous spouse too.
• 42:01
  Speaker 5: I don't trust and trust no one but yourself, nobody.
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: I would go on a speaking tour just to tell
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: people why you shouldn't trust anybody with your money. Once
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: you're dead, and that's the problem. You're dead, you will
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: never be in control again. Yeah, and that's the reality.
• 42:26
  Speaker 5: Can I tell you I think that family, believe it
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: or not, I think family is almost a worst choice
• 42:32
  Speaker 5: for trustee. Yes, and I listen. I'm a victim from
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: start to finish. I am a victim of family. And
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: it's just you trust so innocently, and that you can
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: be turned and really feel and I hate to use
• 42:53
  Speaker 5: this word hate, but that you can actually learn to
• 42:57
  Speaker 5: feel hatred towards another human being is an emotion. I
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: don't think I ever really understood until I went through this.
• 43:07
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, they wanted to take my entire life away.
• 43:11
  Speaker 6: I mean, how you.
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: Could do that. I just don't understand.
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: It's it's it's perverse, it's I'm jealousy, it's I don't
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: know what the driving forces.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: They're jealous.
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: My question because I didn't read the full book. Were
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: they able to use the money?
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: Sure?
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: As a matter of fact, I mean, what's you know
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: being uncovered now is that it was so horribly invested.
• 43:39
  Speaker 5: They almost wanted me to be poor and have nothing.
• 43:44
  Speaker 5: Ah and now we're working on fixing that, thank god.
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: But you know, you don't know anything that's going on.
• 43:51
  Speaker 5: If you ask, you get weird questions. You know, they
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: can produce numbers that aren't real. They can send you
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: a portion like what I've learned now to ask for
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: or if I had to direct somebody. You asked for this,
• 44:03
  Speaker 5: you asked for this, you asked for this, you asked
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: for this. You want to know what portion of this
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: they're taking. I mean they were making almost more money
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: than me on commissions. I mean it was horrendous. So yeah,
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: you have to be in control.
• 44:19
  Speaker 4: I'm heartbroken for you. I can't.
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: Well, they'll feed you one hundred dollars here or two
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: hundred here.
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: That's it. Right, So let's see we gave her, oh right,
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: I mean the way they treated me, I was incapacitated.
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: You'll read that in the book too. When I had
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: my achilles, I begged them for a wheelchair or a
• 44:38
  Speaker 5: ramp so I could get to my kids outside. No nothing.
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: I mean, if you're not using the money for that,
• 44:45
  Speaker 5: what are you using it for? It was torturous tortures.
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: It's evil. I'm sorry.
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: It's evil, Yes, it is. It is evil. It is evil,
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: but there is karma.
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: Are you able to sue or do anything twice? You
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: have twice arrusted or anything?
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: You know, it's not that easy to remove trustees. And
• 45:09
  Speaker 5: that's the problem. And I did. I sued them twice,
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: and you know what, if I had to do it
• 45:14
  Speaker 5: again to be heard and to expose them, I would
• 45:21
  Speaker 5: do it again. I'm not sorry for any of that.
• 45:24
  Speaker 5: And it made me tougher, and it made me not
• 45:28
  Speaker 5: as meek as I was when I first started out.
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: You know, gas lighting is an awful, awful, abusive way,
• 45:37
  Speaker 5: and that's really what a lot of that was. Well,
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: you and you and you spend money and we have
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: to do this too, and it was you that Meanwhile,
• 45:45
  Speaker 5: all this other stuff is going on behind the scenes
• 45:48
  Speaker 5: that you have no control over. That's why a trust
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: unless you do it the way I told you to
• 45:54
  Speaker 5: do it. Make yourself your own trustee because legally you can.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:01
  Speaker 5: I don't know if state laws are different, but I
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: know that in New Jersey you can make yourself your
• 46:05
  Speaker 5: own trustee and put everything in a trust. Put your
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: home in a trust, put your car, well, I don't
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: think you've put a car in a trust. Your home
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: for sure, your money, yeah for sure. So if your
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: mom wants to put stuff in a trust, you should
• 46:20
  Speaker 5: make you the trustee. But along with that responsibility comes
• 46:25
  Speaker 5: your financial You know, you have to be able to
• 46:28
  Speaker 5: restrain yourself oh too, and be responsible. You'll have nothing left.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, And I like money.
• 46:37
  Speaker 5: We all like money. Money makes the world around, right,
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: you know.
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: Gosh? Well, where can our listeners find where to buy
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: your book? And about the tours too?
• 46:51
  Speaker 5: Okay? Well, so Perillo Tours is perillotours dot com. My
• 46:56
  Speaker 5: website presently is the Other Woman Shop, and you'll go
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: on there and you'll realize why I called it the
• 47:03
  Speaker 5: Otherwoman Dot Shop. I have a radio travel Tuesday on
• 47:09
  Speaker 5: AM nine seventy the answer with Kevin McCollough every Tuesday.
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: And the book Your Payment Method Has Been Declined is
• 47:16
  Speaker 5: available on Amazon and it's actually on Barnes and Noble
• 47:19
  Speaker 5: now too. You could just put my name in or
• 47:23
  Speaker 5: put the title of the book and you could get
• 47:25
  Speaker 5: it directly from Amazon.
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: That's amazing. I'm excited.
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: Or my website. You go on my website you can
• 47:31
  Speaker 5: get the book too.
• 47:32
  Speaker 4: What's the website?
• 47:33
  Speaker 5: The Theotherwoman Dot shop?
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: Ok?
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, thank you so much, Linda for a coming.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: So welcome and I can't wait to actually read the
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: full book.
• 47:44
  Speaker 5: Oh yes, it's exciting, ladies. Thank you so much for
• 47:47
  Speaker 5: having me.
• 47:49
  Speaker 4: Isn't that crazy? What she had, what she went through,
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: and what she's still going through.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, insane.
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: It just goes to show you you cannot trust any anybody, anybody.
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: I mean she said even the banks were involved and lawyers.
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: And that's that's scary because you you you think you
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: can trust especially I understand family friends, you know, maybe not,
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: but someone that you hire to look out for your
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: family and your children and you can't even trust them.
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: It's really scary.
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: That's the scariest part. You know, I can't believe that
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: he paid these people to watch after his family and
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: they basically took everything from his family.
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: Mm hmm. It's disgusting, it really is. And I loved,
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: I mean, I loved hearing her story as sad and
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: as depressing. It is, as frustrating as it was. But
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: you know, she's living proof that you can get through
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: anything and you just gotta fight, you know.
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is absolutely so true though. And speaking of
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: powerful stories, we're gonna hop into our interview with r
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: J Midti. He and Ali Schroker have been helping the
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: filming industry reshape the way disabilities are featured on the screen.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: On the show today, we have r J Middy and
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: he is going to be at the Real Abilities Festival tonight.
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: And I am so excited to meet you.
• 49:23
  Speaker 6: But what originally drew you to acting and at what
• 49:27
  Speaker 6: point did you realize this was something you wanted to pursue?
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: Seriously, No, you know.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be able to be priori Abilities
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: from festival. I've been a big support of them.
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: For the years.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: But you know, I think for me it drew me
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: to acting. You know, I started around twelve, thirteen years
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: old and my whole life. I kind of always balanced
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: around and I think, oddly enough, mhm, the acting world
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: was probably kind of the most stable part of my life,
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: which is usually the opposite for most people. And I
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: started working, you know, to meet kids my own age,
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: to make a little money. And my sister was what
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: brought us to California. She got a job at one
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: and a half years old, and that's what that's what
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: took us to California for six months. And during that
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: period of time, you know, I didn't know anyone, and
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: I didn't I've never been to California before. Orrin I
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: was like, yeah, let me, let's see if she's doing it,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: why not?
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: Why not me?
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: And I just started working. I worked as an extra
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: on she was like hey Montana and then r H.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: Chris and Weeds in Steventh Heaven, and uh it It's
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: something that I just, you know, I found a purpose
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: and something that I was able to do and it
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: just kept growing and growing. And about a year and
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: a half later, Breaking Bad came into play, and I
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: just solidified why, uh why I do what I do today?
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Now, how did you get involved in Breaking Back?
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: You obviously had to audition and were you nervous that
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: they weren't going to choose you because you have CP
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: like I do. And a lot of times we get
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: shunned or we get overlooked. I guess you could say.
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I think as a young kid, I
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: really never what being shunned or being devalued affect what
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: I wanted to do that I wanted, like in anything
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: I wanted to do as a child, I was very
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: lucky that that my grandparents and my family were like,
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: if you want to.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: Do it, good, do it.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: You might get hurt, but hey, uh, don't be afraid
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: of it.
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: And and so.
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: That's something I never I've never had a limiter on
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: on myself. Society may may see me or perceive me
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: with limitations, but but personally, I never I've never found
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: I've found my own limits. But but I I I
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: don't acknowledge them.
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: I don't accept my my limitations. And you know, I
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: auditioned for six months for Breaking Bad. So I auditioned
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: five times over six months. I was the last main
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: cast member to be cast in this series. And they
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: are already started shooting the day I was cast, and
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: literally I over a six month period went in every
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: you know, a month would go by and I would
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: I go back in.
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: And you know, as an actor you have to accept projection.
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: This isn't about out having a disability, having truperposi or not.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: This this is a very cut through the industry. It's
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: a very uh superficial. You know, it's's one big popularity
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: complex and and there who has most followers or especially
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: now you know this was this was two thousand and five,
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: two thousand and seven. Yeah, so the world was very
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: different than and and so I I I'm one of
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: those people that I always look to the future.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: I do my best.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: I always remember the past and to remember what got
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: me to where I am today. But but I always
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: looked to the future to to continue to push forward.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: And you know, it's breaking bad. It was the opportunity
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: of a lifetime. And and when I read for the role,
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: I just knew it was mine. I and and they
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: made me had they made me work for it, but
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: I always knew it was my role.
• 54:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: Now tonight you are going to be debuting a movie
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: called West Hampton's and uh, that's going to be at
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: the Film Festival. Correct, tell us a little bit about West.
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: Hampton's Yeah, so so West Hampton Is is a local
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: West Hampton film here in New York. Was shot in
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: West Hampton with an amazing team of people. And uh,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: it's it a coming home story.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: It's one of those.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: It's his story starting find with Rock from you know
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: America Hart Story and many other projects. And we have
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: have such a unique vision. And Christopher Nelsen, who who
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: created the story and direct to the story and really
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: really had this vision of creating a character that.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: The whole town hated and and.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: He goes off and makes a name for himself, Finn's character,
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: and when he comes back to the town, you know
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: that people don't like the stories he told and he's
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: he's a writer, and and it's him trying to find
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: you know, redemption and and him trying to find his place.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: And I play a character that, for one in my career,
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: is happy. I I don't really play a lot of
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: happy characters. Most of them are brooding or or are
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: a little disgruntled. But but play a character that's kind
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: of always supportive and really always kind of pushing Finn's
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: character to keep trying to make it and resolve that difference.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: And the town is. I always try not to give
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: too much away.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: I always end up giving way too much away of
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: my story of the movies I'm in. But the character
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: that that in plays when he was younger, an accident
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: happens which leaves a girl in a wheelchair, and so
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: the town blames him for that accident, and it's it's
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: it is an accident, and it's not an accident.
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: You know, there's there's.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: Really you know, it's a fine line of faults and
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: circumstances and you know, him trying to to just rekindle
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: and be accepted. I think that's something that so many
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: people in this world don't get the opportunity to have,
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: is to learn to be accepted and and to accept others,
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: you know. And I think this film is a great
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: testament of you know, pushing forward regardless of how the
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: the world sees you, but what your behavior does and
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: how you affect others. And I think each of these
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: characters in this in the movie have their own journey
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: and their own kind of redemption within themselves that they
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: have to discover and and forgiveness.
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: And I think it's an amazing h it's an amazing journey.
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And do you think Hollywood is moving towards inclusion
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: more these days than when you and I were younger.
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: I feel like they're more accepting, but yet they're like
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: almost nervous to have like a disabled person play a role,
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: and they are they're just the easy way out and
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: cast a non disabled person to be a disabled person.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: I think the industry, I think all industries, regardless of
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: a bet or lazy, in general.
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: I think I think, I do believe there's more.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: I think there's more representation there before, not not because
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: the industry got it right, but because of the communities
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: that were in organizations like Reliability that that are able
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: to organize and to be able to promote all these
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: amazing diverse works and and show that. I think as
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: far as mainstream media goes, I don't think mainstream media
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: will really ever change.
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: You know, when you're talking about.
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: A billion dollar industry, trillion dollar industry, and you know,
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: I've never I've never made a hundred million dollar movie,
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: And I feel like I feel like.
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: In in media now, mainstream media, there's all these you know,
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: people making like thirty million episode and in a hundred
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: million dollar.
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: Movie and it's like how and why, and and I
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: think there's a.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: There's a massive growth of diversity, not again not because
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: the industry is more accepting, but because people are carving
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: their own way. And and that's what the entertainment industry is.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: The industry, the industry itself. Any industry is not going
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: to give you opportunities, regardless of of whatever it may be.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: It's it's it's a business and and and we all
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: have to find where we can grow our brand and
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: our business. And I think it's it's up to continuing
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: to create art. I think it's continuing to talk and
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: share stories and pushing the pushing the boundaries of of
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: social norms. And I again, I do see a massive
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: difference from where we were in two thousand and seven,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: in two thousand and six and you know, to.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: To where we are today. I think though.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: It's a fine line of growth. I think some areas
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: grow faster than others. And again, I think it's up
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: to us to always continue to share our art and
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: to push the push the stories and work together as
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: a team. And you know, it's it's not an easy
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: world out there, and we just have to continue to
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: move forward.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: What has helped you push through when doors weren't opening
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: for you in the industry, because it's such a cut
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: through industry.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 6: It's it's crazy.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 3: The industry is so small and a lot of people
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: don't realize that.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 6: And it's all about who you know.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: Really yeah, no, it really, I mean, it's about you know,
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: but it's a us about not accepting it.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: The door is shutting. You know. I hit many many roadblocks,
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: I face many battles.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: With with many types of people, and you know, I
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: think for me, the best way that I've handled it
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: is when that when that door closes, figuring out where
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: the back door is, when.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: When when the when the negativity or or you know,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: I audition. I audition all the time.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: I haven't had I haven't had a decent audition probably
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: like seven years, and and they're all garbage and it's
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: just like fake scripts or like like just you know
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: what I mean, it's just just bs auditions and I'm
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: just like, you know, I get so discouraged sometimes, But
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: it's it's it's about when you feel that discouraged.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: That disparit is when something usually snaps.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: I find I do my best work at madness, but
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: but I find the when that door closes in, that
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: that despair sets in and it's just like why am
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: I even still doing this? Like what's who cares?
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: Who am I?
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: I'm like, this is over, this is done.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: I want to keep working on, you know, my philanthropy
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: or you know, I'm going to go retreat to my.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: To whatever hole I crawl out of, and I I find.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: Not dwelling in it and and continuing to push forward
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: and not not blaming myself, because it's like, what what's
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: wrong with me?
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: And I think that's always that's always an issue, like
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: with with anyone in this world.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: It's when when something doesn't work, you.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: Know, we meantimes, we blame others or we blame this
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: or that, and then it all comes down to why
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: am I this?
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: Or why do I? Like? You know that that self
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: defrecating blame. And it's like, you know, you can't change
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: other people.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: You know, they have to want to change themselves, and
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: you know, you know you can't control everything. And I
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: think when when you feel that, you know, take a
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: step back, find something that brings you joy, find something
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: that that makes you feel rewarded, and and set the
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: smaller goals and I think for me, I I tried
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: to always set you know, I have big goals.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: I'm always trying to achieve. But but in reality.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: I find what take what many for many years has
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: taken me two years has taken me ten. And trust
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: the process. Set small goals, set set little things. You know,
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: success does not happen overnight. You know, it's it's it's
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: a it's a process, and it's a learning curve. And
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: what's successful right now won't be successful in five years
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: or ten years or whatever it may be.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: And I think.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: Always refining yourself and and the little winds, enjoy the
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: little wins.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 3: Well that's what we do, I think, and that's the
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: most important thing to do these days, is you know,
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, everyone wants to be rich and famous,
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 3: and it's not gonna happen overnight.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: I think people are confused what this industry is. You know,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: look at every great artist, you know, most of them
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: kill them selves. Like you know, this is not a
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: kind industry. And and this is not a you know,
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: mentally healthy industry. This is this is an industry for
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: the mentally strong and and people that you know, love rejection,
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: love love, being marginalized you know what's a casting uh position?
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: It describes your your hair, your likeness, your weight, your size,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: how you speak. It literally is a profile, and it's
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: it's it margins You're you're looking for a specific type
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: of person.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: That's like, that's the name of the game.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: And I think people think rich and fame and money
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: come together, and they're very different things.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: And I think media has done a very.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: Poor job in reflecting because people see, you know, the
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: Timothy Chalaman of the world and the Kardashians of the world,
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: and and that's not a real life. You know, that's
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: not that's not a it's not the reality in our industry.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: The reality is of working class actors and and and
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: continuing to audition, continuing to push forward, and then just
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: sitting back in a villa. That's that's feeling far between
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: for most people. And it's the perspective that they want
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: for people to have. It's that's that's probably not even
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: their own reality. You know, I've meet social media I
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: think has been a massive.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 2: You know. Uh. I think social media in the right
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: hand is an.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: Amazing tool, and I think it brings awareness and I
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: think it brings opportunity. But I think it's also a
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: great detriment to our society when it comes to to
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: the reality of the world, and and sadly it shaped
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: many people's reality thinking that like they're going to book
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: a job and light breaking bad and and be set
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: for life.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: And it's like, no, there's there's you know, I was
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: not allowed to do other work I got.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: I worked for six months and then I wasn't allowed
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: to do any other work for the other six months.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: And contracts, you know, they don't want you to go
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: do other work in competition with with projects.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: So like, so there's a lot of rules when you
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: get major work, you know, you see. I think Disney is.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: A great example of that, where you know, you have
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: your young kids with twenty thirty year contracts and they
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: do five movies in thirty years, and you know, it's
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: not always very rewarding.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: And I think that miscondensation of.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: The industry is what people sadly have to find for themselves.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: And they're like, well, this sucks. I've done you know this.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: Year, I ray, I've done probably close to like twenty
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: five auditions.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 7: Wow, no callbacks, no, no, nothing, just like like it
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 7: only there's only one that I liked, and I'm like,
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 7: I like this role. I want this role, And that's
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 7: the one I definitely didn't get a callback on. And
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 7: so I think in life we can't be disheartened by
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 7: the door shutting.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: It's about pushing forward. It's about the experience, and it's about,
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: you know, just just living a life. And the more
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: life you live, the better your work will be.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 3: Now, you mentioned that you do a lot of philanthropy
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 3: work and you have your own organization. Can you tell
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 3: us a little bit about that.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I have you know, since breaking bad,
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: I learned before even before Breaking bad, my my family
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: was in the philanthropy and and you know, community advocacy
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: and community awareness and as a young kid went to
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: Shriner's Hospitals for Children, and so I, you know, I
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: learned the importance of giving back in my community. And
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: you know, I I I think it's the most important
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: thing to be able to work with communities and and
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: with people, to be able to you know, breaking back
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: gave me an amazing opportunity to change minds on how people,
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: especially see people with disabilities. But I'm the president of
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: my My Family Foundation. We're based in Austin, Texas, and
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: I've been working down in Brownsville, Texas for about fifteen
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: years now. My grandparents helped build the Sugar Museum there
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: and uh in a park there and since then I've
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: I've with my organization built some parks and some art
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: exhibits and working on the art and cultural hub right now.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: And a big supporter of of the Glass Porter Zoo.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: And you know, environmental impact type programs and entrepreneurship and
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: and UH and disability advocacy and accessibility. I mean, any
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: any organ any property I'm working on, it's it's accessibility first.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: It's every single time, it's okay, this is beautiful? Is
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: it accessible? And in my team and in my wait,
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: my board is very forward thinking in.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: That, so we we Uh. It's a lot of work.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: It's it's it's a lot of work.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: But you know, I'm very lucky and we have anywhere
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: from fifteen to thirty seven students on scholarship a.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: Year for higher education.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: And I love it. I I've I went from board
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: member to treasurer for for two terms and now I'm
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: president for for two terms.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 6: So nice happens after your two terms are up?
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: Well, luckily we're not. It's we don't really have the
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: same presidential rules. No one wants my job. I tell
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: you that as a as a role of a president
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: of any company, the main part is when everything fails
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: at your head on the chopping block, regardless of who's
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: in fault.
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 2: So that's that's the that's the main thing. But yeah,
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: no one my board does not want my my job.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 2: I tell you that.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: You know, I think it's kind of continue to put forward.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: I miss being the treasurer. I was always that was,
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: you know, I got to I got to say no more.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: But but you know, I think it's all about you know,
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: longevity and and maintaining the path. You know, never to
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: extend too far, but but don't forget to still reach
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: for the stars. You know that That's kind of I
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: think in life what happens to many people is is
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: we reach for the star ours and we reach for
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: the sun. But but you know, if you reached it.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: Chris is one of the most famous, fly too high
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: and you you get melted. And so I think.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: I'm very lucky that I've learned, and I learned at
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: a very young age.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: It's not just about today, it's about tomorrow, and and
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: it's about not just tomorrow, but what what what will
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: be the next twenty years.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: What will be the next forty years, and and what
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: will last for hundreds of years? And I think.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: In society we we live for tomorrow a little too often,
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: uh and and live for really live for today, which
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: is one of the most important things. But try to
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: bring to tomorrow into our present and and and blame
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: ourselves for past whatever.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: And you can't change the.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: Past, but you can always look to the future, and
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: you can always enjoy your present and just continue to.
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 2: Live a life. And I think it's so important that
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: we all.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: Have and I do believe we all have the right
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: to live a rewarding and fulfilling life, regardless of living situation,
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: regardless of social or economic norms that people are placed
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: upon or not placed upon. I think we all have
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: that right as human beings to be able to do that.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: And I think it's up to us that that fit
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: in those I say fit like fall through the gaps
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: to continue to climb out of that gap, and they
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: climb into the positions out that make us feel worthy,
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: that make us feel rewarded, that that our visions come
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: to light. And I think real abilities does an amazing
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: job at that.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and I just heard about it not too long ago.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, I'm brand new to Real Abilities, so gonna,
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 3: I can't wait to see everything tonight.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: Oh it's I've I've I've worked with Real Abilities for many,
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: many years and and they've they've they always do an
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: amazing job. And and the diversity.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 2: Of films.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: That they pick killer films, So like, it's just you know,
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: you know, it's it's all based and.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 2: Refain refrain, reframing disability.
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: But the artists, you know, there's so many amazing artists
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: out there that are creating these these unbelievable stories.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 2: That sadly never get to be seen, and and they
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: do a great job of finding them.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 6: That's great. So where can everyone check out your movie?
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 3: West Hampton's.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 2: So that is a great question. I'm sure it will
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 2: probably be somewhere online.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: I recommend following the West Hampton uh Instagram page and
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: social media's you know, I think you can follow me
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: or Finn with Rock or any of the other actors.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: We're definitely, as soon as we have a wind wheard
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: how uh, we will be posting it. You know, I'm
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: very lucky this year this I will have hopefully four
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: movies come out this year, so.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: So this is one.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: So every single I worked every single day and actually
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: I have another meeting shortly. But West Hampton Social Medias
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: are kind of our lifeline. You know, we're it's an
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 1: independent film. We're not some major blockbuster movie. But we
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: have a lot of heart and I and Finn with
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: Rock and Jake Querry and you know, our our team
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: of people and our our actors and actresses.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: There it was I have blast. It was. It was
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 2: a very great team and we worked very hard for it.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 3: Well, I can't wait to see it and I can't wait.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 6: To meet you tonight.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll see you the night.
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 6: Yes, Well, thank you so much r J for coming
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 6: on the show. Everyone check out our j and what
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 6: is your Instagram so we could all follow?
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: Uh just arging many Yeah, I'm just I'm super simple.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: Just arging many across across media. Not across media, but
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: my name will.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 2: Will pop up. I'm pretty pretty easy to find. There's
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 2: not many many people like me. I hate I hate
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 2: say it.
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 3: Well I have the same same thing.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 6: So but looking forward to seeing you tonight and have
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 6: a good rest of your day.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 2: To you as well.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 6: I'll see you soon and that's our show for this week.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much for tuning in. Be sure to
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 3: check us out at Shawna and Lala dot com on
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 3: all social media platforms at Shawna and La La. You
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 3: could follow me on Instagram at the Real Shame.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 4: And check me out at Bella Underscore La La one
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 4: two five.
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 3: We will see you next week.