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MONEY DIARIES: Managing chronic illness, becoming a mature age student AND saving for a house · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome to a shot
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: back Money Diary. Monday our favorite day, arguably of the week,
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: because we get to chat to one of our gorgeous
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: community members, learn about their story, learn about their finances,
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: get all the juicy deets. Victoria, are you pumped?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: I'm very pumped, but I'll be more pumped when I
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: know a little bit about this diarist's story. So, Jess, spill,
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: what are we talking about this week?
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: So this week's diarists said, I'm twenty eight. Used to
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: have a shocking relationship with money. Overspending was my poison
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: for self sabotage until things around in my mid twenties.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: In this time, I've put myself through UNI as a
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: mature age student while working full time managing a chronic
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: and expensive mental illness, and I've saved enough money to
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: purchase a house all on my own.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: What all of that, I know?
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Incredible? So she has gone through a whole heap of things.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: I'm really excited to learn about them. A little content
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: warning before we get into it, though, we're going to
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: be chatting about mental health, specifically around eating disorders. If
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: that's something that's a little bit challenging for you. Right now,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: give this episode a miss because we're going to dive
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: into it. And then there's a little bit more. She
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: says she's super proud, as she should be. She wants
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: to inspire others to do the same. A little bit
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: of background. Si grew up with money obsessed parents who
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: spent six hundred thousand dollars between them on divorce lawyers
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: because the relationship wasn't great. They didn't want to talk
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: to each other. They wanted to talk to the lawyers.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: And now she's writing her own story, which we love
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: to see.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: So I'm sorry, six hundred grand. I can't get it
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: on lawyers, like, not on the divorce, not like oh
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I lost six hundred thousand because my ex wife took it,
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: or my ex husband to six hundred grand just for
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: the lawyers to speak to each other. Oh, let's get
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: her on the line, money diarist, welcome to the show.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: You're on mute, all right, Good start, guys, It's only
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: up from here. Oh my gosh, no, I feel like
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: this is going to be a spicy money story because
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: I want to hear about you. I want to hear
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: about your situation. I also kind of want to hear
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: about your parents. So you let us know your boundaries.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: Yes, they're pretty loose. Don't tell my therapist.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: You just know it's going to be a good one.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: By the way that our diarist enters the conversation, they're like,
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: what do you mean boundaries? Like all right, in saying that,
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: let's get into it with the first question, money, darist,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: can you please tell us a little bit about your
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: relationship with money.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: Yes, so from a young age, I guess earliest memory
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: of money is kind of getting two dollars pocket money
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: and going up to the milk bar to buy lollies.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I have one of those memories too.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Back when redskins were five cents. Two dollars is a
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: lot of a lot of lollies.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember them being like full twenty cents and
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, all right, So the milk coos and
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: the Redskins, which are now called something completely different. I
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: think they're called I can't remember what they're called, but
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: I mean appropriate change. I still can't refer to them
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: as the new name because it makes no sense, but yeah,
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: I remember them being a good twenty cents at some
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: point and that felt like an absolute stooge.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm still outraged, and I think they're a dollar.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Now, don't don't get jess and I started on the
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: McDonald's fifty cents. Oh that is not fifty.
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: Cents, I know, I know, so yes, I guess money
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: for me growing up was very contentious in my family.
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: I had parents that were very different money wise. My
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: dad wanted to save it. My mum wanted to spend it.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: Dad is an accountant and fits the stereotype there, very
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: savvy and we I'm one of six kids, so my
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: parents had considerable living expenses raising us. I guess the
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: biggest point of contention between them was schooling. My dad
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: didn't believe in private schooling. My mum insisted on private schooling.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: So that was the first battle, which my mother, who's
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: very headstrong one thank you, mum. And just an example
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: of the sort of things that would happen, like, my
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: dad traveled for work a lot when I was young,
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: and one day he went away for a week on
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: a business troop and he came home to my mum,
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: who had remortgaged the house and in a pool, so
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: he'd come back home. The whole pool was dougs, so
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: it had to be finished. And yeah, so we kids
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: loved it.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: Mom's the best.
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, but other than that, you know, my mum
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: was very savvy as well, Like they didn't have credit cards.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: She used to say, you know, if we didn't have
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: milk at the end of the week, you had toast
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: on Friday for breakfast. So they were very savvy. And
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: I'm the fifth child of six, so my older siblings definitely,
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: Mum was quite young when she had them, so they lived,
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: you know, like they had well, as they always say,
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: we only got one new outfit a season. You girls
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: get everything. So they apparently lived a very tough life
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: and we got more holidays. But yeah, we had I
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: guess we lived in privilege. But my mom sort of
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: always viewed it as the people around us were so
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: much more better off, whereas I we had everything. Oh,
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: I think it sat keeping up with the Joneses mentality.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: Whereas like for me, I just thought I had everything
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: because I could do swimming lessons, I could do my
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: music lessons, so that was sort of the stuff I
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: wanted then when my parents were thirteen, so they weren't
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: thirteen that would be worrying. When I was thirteen.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: When my parents old age.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: Of thirteen, yeah, I was twenty years off being born. Yeah.
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: So when I was thirteen, my parents got divorced and
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: that was where I guess all the money stuff came
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: to a head. So there was a lot of fighting
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: in the court over money. So it was in the
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: court for five years. A lot of money was spent,
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: and it was very much like the children were pawns
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: in the middle of that, so to speak. So I
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: then started to resent money a lot. And I can
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: remember saving up a lot of money because I worked
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: hard as a babysitter from the age of thirteen, and
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: then when i'd get to a certain like one thousand
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: dollars would tick over, I would spend it all because
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: I'd think, I don't want it to corrupt me like
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: my parents, so I'd get rid of it all. But
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: then it was just yeah, So it was very I
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: had a very emotional relationship with money from a young age.
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: And then in high school days, everybody that knew me
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: knew that I was saving up all my money to
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: have a wedding when I was twenty didn't have a boyfriend,
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: but I wanted the wedding in the fairy tales, so
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: that was what I was saving up for.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: And I mean to be honest, as someone saving for
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: their wedding, that's when I should have started so expensive.
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I've changed my tac Now I'm not going to
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: have a wedding and I'm going to buy a house.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: So yeah, okay, okay, so at least you've got your
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: head screwed on. I've decided to have a wedding.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: Well, ideally i'd like both that with feuding parents. Still,
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: it's easier.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, easier to just bury your head in the sand
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: and be like, well, wedding, I don't know what you're
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: talking about. I'm going to hide in this freshly bought house.
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, Oh my gosh.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: That is genuinely so interesting. Can I assume that you
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: probably grew up relatively wealthy? Then I know you mentioned
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: like we did grow up in privilege, and then I
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: guess we've learned a few tip bits about you know,
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: spending so much in court and the fact that there
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: was so much arguing that usually doesn't happen. Over ten
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: thousand dollars for five years. Right, Would it be safe
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: to assume that your family was relatively wealthy growing up? Yeah, yeah,
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: I would definitely say we were well off. Yeah, And
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: how I guess as a younger child at that point
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: in time, were you aware of that or were you
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: just stoked to go to swimming lesson?
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like money doesn't matter to kids. It's like I
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: look at my nieces and nephews. I'm not gonna splash
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: cash on their presence as they don't care. They just
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: want your time. So for me, just never really thought
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: about I never thought we didn't have enough money, Like
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: we lived in abundance in my eyes. My mum I
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: think maybe wanted more or she just wanted to be
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: able to provide for a saul. I guess when they
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: got divorced, things changed a bit because all of us
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: kids were solely with my mum. So she went back
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: to work at the age of forty after having obviously
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: six kids, and she was a total powerhouse and just
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: worked her way up with no qualifications to become chief
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: of Style.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: But yeah, so she was hustler.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah she was kids, but also I'm a career bossy.
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: Mom, she's going to outlive us all. Yeah, so she
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: worked really hard. But at the same time, I guess
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: we'd had a lifestyle where we had two incomes and
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: private schooling, so that there was a lot of living expenses.
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: I still remember things like little things when she was
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: when it was just us kids with her, Like every
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: Thursday she would be her payday, so she'd come home
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: with tie takeaway for us all and with six kids,
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: like it would literally be a box full, and like
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: I just thought we were eating like kings and queens.
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: It was just amazing. So I remember things like that,
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: and I guess, yeah, she never really put it on
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: us that, you know, she might have been stressed about money,
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: but I knew that the divorce was very messy and
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: drawn out, like that hung over my head a lot,
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: So I guess I became a bit anti money from that.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well we're going to get into the structured questions,
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: but from sorry, don't be sorry, Like I'm grateful you're
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: sharing it. But I guess one thing I'm picking up
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: from you is just like this overwhelming sense of gratitude,
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: like you're so excited about the things that you know
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: a lot of people might go, oh, yeah, we had
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: tie on Thursdays. You're like it best we had tie.
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: We did this.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Like, I just really love, you know, seeing what people
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: are grateful for and how that kind of like comes
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: out of them, especially when you talk about it, and
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: you know, a lot of people can grow up really well.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: But it's funny to see the things that kids actually
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: care about.
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like you cared about as well.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to get Yeah, I did never have
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: a pool. There's no way where you could have afforded
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: a pool. You would have been like the most popular
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: key on the block, Like yeah, oh I would have
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: been asking to come many off.
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Anyway, next question on the list, what do you do
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: for work now? And how much money do you earn?
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: Yes? So I have just actually graduated as a mature
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: age student, so twenty eight with a Bacheler of social work,
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: and I for the last year have had my own
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: cleaning business, which has been really great from I guess
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: the sense of financially, but also I find it quite
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: rewarding all my clients, my friends, and it's great immediate
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: gratification and cleaning, especially if it's not your own. But
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: I just literally yesterday got a job in child protection,
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: which is where I wanted to work. And yeah, congratulations,
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: thank you, Look at you fly.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: I love that. How much money are you going to earn?
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: Tell us about the.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: Salary, and.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm so happy with that.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: I know, thank god, I would be too.
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: My sister, who's ten years older than me, said, I've
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: never that amount of money and I've you know, got
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: two degrees and I'm in the wrong job. But she's
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: also a social workers so there you go.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, congratulations, how exciting. And that's like what
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: you've been working so hard to get. To tell me
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: a little bit about the cleaning business, though, because.
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: That can be lucrative, right it is, if I say
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: so myself. A lot of a lot of cash stuffed
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: in my mattress. Now I'm just kidding. I love that
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: for you. So yes, I actually moved into State at
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: the beginning of last year, heartbroken from a breakup and
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: ended up in New State. Didn't have a job, had
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: one you left of Union, thought I don't want to
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: do the nine to five because I'd done that my
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: whole degree was quite burnt out. So I just joined
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: the local Facebook community because I love communities. And put
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: out a post and just said, hi, UNI student study
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: social works, so people you know I was trustworthy and
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: just said that hourly rate is forty five dollars. You know,
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: I'll service this area and anyway. Within two weeks I
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: sort of had a whole maybe like ten regular clients.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: So and then I got faster and faster at my job.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: So my hourly rate now sometimes is as high as
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: seventy five two hundred dollars.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: For good reason.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I love when you preached. Yeah, so it's
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: really nice. And like during lockdown, it was it made
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: such a difference because I was in a new state
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: and like when you go out walking, I'd see people
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: I know and they're checking or like I had one
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: client that message me and said, I know you're losing
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: lots of work at the moment, do you want any money,
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: Like I'd be happy to loan it to you. So
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: like really lovely people. Yeah, and you know I'll arrive,
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: they'll offer me a cup of tea, Like they just
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: treat me with such respect. So it's lovely. So I'm
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: sad to give that up. As excited as I am,
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: I said to myself, I would stay cleaner if I
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: didn't have a thirty k hex step but I just can't.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: Yes, a fair fair Are you going to do it
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: like on the side for.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: I, Oh, I think, yeah, totally, totally, I absolutely am.
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: I've worked out if I could just earn three hundred
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: extra a week, that's fifteen grand a year.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: That's a lot of money.
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and that will help my house deposit dreams.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god, that will help it so significantly.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: I love that. I was going to say, either are
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: you keeping it on the side or are you selling
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: the business like you're going to sell the book of.
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: Client absolute we could do. I know, look, I'm not
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: really into selling it, but I like to sink anyway
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: that the drawer card is me.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, it absolutely is. Like I already want to invite
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: you over for a cup of tea if it means
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: like getting my house cleaned as well, like girl walk
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: on in.
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: Well, I also clean as if you know, like the
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: Queen's coming over. I'm very hostidious on.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: My head place.
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I love that. If your cleaner is just putting
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: toilet cleaner in the toilet and not scrubbing it, they're
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: not doing a good job.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Okay, so money lost from me. I do actually have
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: a cleaner now. Her name is Courtney. I found her
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: through the She's on the Money Facebook group and she
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: is honestly a delightful human. On Instagram, she's called the
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: fairy God Nanny because she like does so much cool stuff.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: Oh my god. You know Courtney's been to my house
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: because you like, go in the bathroom and the toilet
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: paper has like cute faults and stuff. She's so boogy.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: It is the best expense. I I know that it's
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: very privileged to be able to have a cleaner, but
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: I cannot tell you the mental freedom that that has
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: afforded me, especially because like I'm working so much, like
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: I work sixty seventy hours a week at a minimum.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: I also then I'm running three businesses, like I am
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: so hectic. So I feel like this is one of
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: those things where it's like, yeah, it's real privileged, but
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: it makes sense to give me my weekend back and
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: a little bit more mental sanity. But you're right, she
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: doesn't just clean the toilets like she reorganized under my sounds,
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: organized my bathroom. She's like, hey, v I's thinking next
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: week we'll just go through the fridge I'm like, you
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: do whatever you I will pay you. You just tell
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: me she's a wizard. But oh, that's good cleaner. They're
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: few and far between my friends and reliable.
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: Like if I say I'm going to show up at
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: nine a m. I will be their rainhill or shine
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: because I know the burden of the mental loan. I
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: think that's a female thing, but I know, like if
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: I've said I'll clean your house for four hours and
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: I don't rock up, that's your whole day out, especially
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: if you're having people over.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: Well, moving on. You mentioned before that you want to
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: buy a house, So the next question is, my friend,
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: what's your big money goal?
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: Is it that? Yes, it is so twenty twenty two.
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: I am desperate to buy a house. Just before this recording,
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: I actually had a meeting with the bank to find
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: out my borrowing capacity, which is never as high as
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: you hope. But that's okay. I don't want to be
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: mortgaged up to my ears, so I'm trying to conservative.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Potentially chat to a broker. If you haven't, you just
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: said you're going to the bank.
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: No, I'm double dipping recently. Absolutely, you've got no loyalty
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: good Absolutely on.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: So we need to have loyalty to our brokers, but
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: not to our bad Yes, that's what I meant.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: So yeah we can.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: We can be as loyal as we want to our brokers.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: But when it comes to the banks, no, sorry, we.
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: Wouldn't give them a dollar? No, well, yeah, probably already doing.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: Actually I refuse to pay bank fees.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: So that's also a very good money habit, which I'll
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: ask you about soon. Tell us when this money goal
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: might happen, Like how much of you got in savings?
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: Like how much are you planning on spending? If you
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: had a meeting yesterday with a bang? Like what's that
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: look like?
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: So on the cards, I have one hundred k cash
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: deposits saved up.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: And then and you've literally only just secured your first
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: quote professional role full time after studying.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: Who are you? Yeah? Well I learnt from my mother.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: Got a hustle, yeah, love it, A lot of toilets clean.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: In that time, Yeah, good get it.
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I've got one hundred k cash saved and
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: I don't have any debts aside from my hex, which
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: I don't plan on paying off any earlier than I
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: need to. And then I have yet an income of
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: eighty one K. So my borrowing capacity, they said, is
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: roughly maybe five one hundred k.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: Wow, but that's a second amount of money. I reckon
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: a broker would get me a way better deal potentially.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: All Right, I'm so excited to hear when you buy
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: a house, so please keep us in the loop. But
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: the next question, my friend, is do you have any investments?
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: No, I don't, and I guess that is where I'm
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: really hoping to also improve this year, is get into investing.
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: I very much grew up with the belief that a
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: house is the best investment because it's a roof over
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: your head and that's the best security. And I do
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: really want that first and foremost. But I would love
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: to get into shares, just a minimum amount. I guess
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: the only other way I invest is I salary sacrifice
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: into my super which.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: Mean really other in way that's an epic way to invest.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: Who is known not really Also by the way I
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: do salary sacrifice in superannuation, which happens to be in
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: an investment and a really good long term one. But yeah,
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: you not really?
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: Well yeah, I mean I don't see the money, so
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: I don't notice it. But that's one thing I'm huge on.
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: And actually I've just got a new partner and I
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: was having a stern word to him last night for
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: this recording, and I said, by the way, if you
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: ever plan on having my children, you'll be paying my
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: super while I'm on maternity lead non negotation.
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: Yes, how did that conversation go?
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: So it was I was quite just a matter of fact.
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: I just said it's not fair. I also got up
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: the statistics on the gender pay gap, so she came prepared. Yet. Yeah,
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: it's like I'm going for a pay rise a job interview. Sadly,
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: my partner doesn't pay me a wage, but he will
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: be paying my super when we have kids, if we do.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: I feel like that's a good boundary.
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, early, Yeah, because also by the time you have kids,
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: in theory, you're gonna spend your life together, so it's
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: in everyone's best interest to pay less tax. You're going
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: to retire together. You know, it's a win win. I
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: don't understand why more people wouldn't do it, but I
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: really feel for parents, Like I've got a sister that's
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: a single mum, and she's nearly forty and has less
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: SUPER than me, and she's got two young girls, so
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: I'm really passionate about that. I never want to be
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: in a situation where money is the reason I'm staying.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: No, I absolutely agree with that, and I think these
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: are conversations we should be having upfront, not.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: Yes, okay, we're on the table.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: By the way, now I'm pregnant. I was just wondering,
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: can we talk about superannuation, Like no, Hey, here's my boundary,
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: here's the conversation, so that when you get there there's
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: no surprises. I think that that's such an empowering way
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: of approaching things. So it's not like, oh, yeah, no,
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: I don't know what's going to happen. It's like, oh,
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: at that point, like we'll work it out because we
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: know we're on the same page. That makes me so
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: happy to hear. Next question, money diarist, Do you have
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: any debts?
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: No, the only debt I have is hex, which is
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: about thirty grand. Yeah, and I guess. I just bought
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: my first car twenty eight. Oh my god, so that
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: even a debt. I bought it with cash, but it
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: will be a bit of a money pit. It's just
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: a two thousand and nine Yaris. But the way I
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: drive around. You think I've got a Rolls Royce. So
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: I'm very happy with that. Yeah, so I don't have
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: any debts.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: No, that's so good and I love that You're like, no,
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: I drive it like a Rolls.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: Roy Oh yeah, I'm fanging around town now. The trick
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: is to keep my license.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, Like that's a very big, like big thing
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: to consider. And Toyota's are relatively reliable.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: My dad used to work in the car industry and
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: he'd always be like, yeah, Toyota's like, oh yeah, by
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: a good solid car, get a Toyota. So like you've
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: picked twelve. You've pitched very well.
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: I said to my mum, I'm taking this car to
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: the grave. Hopefully it's not the other way around.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Well, I still drive a car, so
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: I can one up you. I still drive a two
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: thousand and six car.
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: So ha. Well, oh yeah, I guess two thousand and nine.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: Well my quota for making it was having the automatic lock,
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: like I nearly die. Yeah I got that.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I got that.
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I've made it already. Yeah. Second second
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: thing is having a house that can house a golden retriever.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: But that's oh my gosh.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: I actually pimped my car recently with the radio thing
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: that goes in the lighter so that you can have Bluetooth.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: So my car's pimped.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that is pimped. That is pimped. Yeah I want it. Yeah,
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: well I want some subtle, like pink interior lights. I
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: don't know how that would work.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: That's very fairy. I wouldn't even know where to start.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I'll just keep with my Randier.
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: Well, my boyfriend's are petrol heads, so he'll do it
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: for free.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: All right, Well, get it on that.
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, get on that.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Maybe you could buy them on shot back, And that
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: is the next question I have for you. And shot back, Okay,
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: I don't even need to ask shot back.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: I absolutely shot back. It's the best. It's a no brainer.
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: I don't understand why you wouldn't. It's in built in
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: my computer. I should be on their advertising team.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I feel like we're paying you for this.
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's so good because I literally will get
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: like a chunk up and then I'll transfer fifty dollars
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: into my account and be like sweet, that's coffee for
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: two weeks.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: It feels like free money.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like it's so nice. I just yeah, And then
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: when I buy something, I go, okay, well I'm going
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: to get twenty dollars back from that purchase. So yeah,
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: it's just a no brainer. And they send you when
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: the sales are on like you do not have to
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: do any of the work. They do it all for you.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I don't. I think shot Back should
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: absolutely reach out and be like, we're looking for new prog.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: Do you want to be one?
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: All right, money diarist? Our next question is and want
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: to be shop Back? Given how excited we wear about
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: that is? What is your best money habit?
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: Oh? I would say best money habit. I probably have
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: a couple, but I would say it's shopping the sales
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: at the SUPERMARKETO. Yeah, because when you think about it,
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: your supermarket bill each week is one of your most
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: considerable expenses aside from you know, maybe your rent and
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: whatever else. But I think just shopping the sales really
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: half price is your best friend. And if something that
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: you always use is half price, by five, but don't
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: be an animal will leave one left on the shelf.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: That yeah, so I think.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: It's coming for all our toilet paper.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: No, I don't stop toilet paper, I can tell you. Yeah,
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: so everything, so not just food, but when I buy clothes, gifts,
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: anything like that, buy it on sale and.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: Are you are you planning your shopping around the sales
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: or are you just going to the supermarket and looking
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: for this, or like how do we learn from this?
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: Because I feel like I want to do that too,
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: but I'm literally the worst. Like I'll go to the
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: supermarket and be like, all right, I'm going to make
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: mushroom struggle off or whatever I'm going to make, and
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: then it's not on sale, but I already have in
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: my head that we're having that, so I just still
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: buy it even though mushrooms are expensive that week.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so look, I'm not about going without, like life
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: is a bit too short for that. But I will
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: generally just go and look when i'm there. In saying that,
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: like it's only me to think about, so I don't
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: have to really take too much into consideration in terms
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: of meal planning. Yeah, but I also get weekly emails
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: from Coals and Woolworth with their half priced specials, So
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: if I'm trying to kill time, I will go through
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: the catalog and go ooh, I'm going to get five
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: of them this week.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: They actually both have on the website. If you're like
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: the website or as website, there's actually a section where
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: you can see half price specials. So it'll just that's
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: yeah price.
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: Because I'm not interested. If it's twenty cents off, like yeah.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: That's a lot easier. And if you like, if you're
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: someone who likes to pre prepare, you can just make
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: your little list online and see what's half price.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't even know you could do that.
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: Have you been keeping.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: I hang out with Jessica Ricci.
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: Money. I call that my other last money hack is
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: I love coffee, And I recently bought a coffee machine
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: again on shop back Hello, like dah, yeah da is
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: there any other way? So I bought that and then
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: I put up a piece of paper next to it
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: and said, earning back my coffee machine. And I divided
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: the amount that it was five dollars, which is the
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: cost of my coffee. And I would tally it every
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: time I'd save my coffee bit by making it home,
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: so satisfying. I was like, this is the best, and
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: now I've already paid it off, but I keep telling
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: it just so I can be like I can read
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: freetribute that money. Yeah, I feel like I'm making money.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I've got a girlfriend who worked out how much milk
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: cost and then worked out how much per cupet was,
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: and she's like at brunch the other day being like,
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: so I've worked out my coffee's cost me forty eight cents,
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, how did you even over? But like,
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: how good is that? It's not even necessarily that you're
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: saving the money. It's the excitement that it is and
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: the gratification that you get out of it, Like your
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: little tally, we've saved you anymore? Let's be honest. No
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: kicking it off, you're like, heck, yeah, I.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: Still get fucked up, priceless exactly.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: To take this down a notch, though, the next question
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: is what's your worst money have it? So please share
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: with the group?
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I would have to say, without a doubt
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: is my childhood, which has led to a lot of therapy.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, my childhood was my worst money habit?
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, pretty much. I have a meme on my wall
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: that says, thanks Mum and Dad for giving me everything.
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: Now I just need a therapist to take it all back.
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: So there's a bit of humilist into it.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: I feel like dark humor is sometimes.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: If you don't laugh, you'll cry.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the only way we should be dealing with scenes.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: And if that's the way you're dealing with it, who
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: will wait to judge At the end of the day,
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: I'm grateful that you're sharing your money story. We'll get
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: to it after the break as to exactly what it
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: is and how it works. But therapy is your worst money.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: I feel like that's a good investment, though I would
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: argue with you that it's not a bad money habit,
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: that it's, you know, a not so great situation to
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: or found yourself in. But like the fact that you
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: pay for it and that you're getting it, like you're
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: above and beyond a lot of other people in that
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: situation who aren't doing it, or people who are listening
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: to this and going, oh my god, bloody, wish I
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: could afford therapy.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, well it's affording it, and it's also getting
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: into a therapist. But that's really a hard story for
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: another day. Yeah, and really sad for people that need it.
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: But I'm lucky. My therapist calls me one of her
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: life is I reckon. I've paid off a good chunk
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: of her mortgage.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: So kind, so kind. If you want to pay off mine,
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: let me know.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you do have an undergrad in psych so you're
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: halfway there.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like I could pretend to be your therapy.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah great. All right, on to the.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: Last question before we get to ask even more perfect questions.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: Not as though this entire money diary hasn't been an
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: absolute shamble, which I have adored. But if we forced
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: you to give your money a grade, what would you
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: give your money habits.
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: Out of ten? I would say maybe eight?
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: Why and eight?
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: Eight? Because I think I've really transformed my money story
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: and habits in the last sort of seven years, and
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: I think I don't ever feel like I go without,
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: but I'm consciously saving and growing my wealth so that
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: I can leave behind well, live a good life first
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: and foremost, and then leave something behind for the people
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: I love.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: And that is a b if we go on percentages,
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: oh yes, okay, b yeah, Oh my gosh.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: But also the fact that you want to leave a legacy. Oh,
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: we should do a whole episode just on leaving a
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: legacy and what that means at some point, because I
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: love that.
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: I actually I'm leaving all my super to my brother.
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: I've got six siblings though, so like a bit contentious,
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: but one of them is getting the whole the whole bit.
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. All right, well, let's go to a
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: quick rag and then I want to ask you about
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: your childhood and your siblings in a hot minute. All right,
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: money direst, we are back, and I think that we
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: should talk off the bat straight away about what you
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: called your worst money habit. You said that you had
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: a serious mental illness and you spend a lot of
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: money on therapy for that. Jess and I agreed that
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: we don't believe that that is a money loss. It's
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: actually a very good investment into your mental health. And
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: you seem pretty level headed and super grateful and like
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: the type of person that we want to come into
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: our office and like be our best friend. But tell
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: us a bit more about that and that process and
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: how much it costs you and all of the juicy details.
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: Well, I'll start by saying, you've definitely never been in
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: the therapy room with me. If that's your wrap, Okay,
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: well that's probably.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: A good thing. I haven't inspiring on you.
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: So look, I yeah, I've had a mental illness for
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: I guess the better part of fifteen years. I don't
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: know how much you are to go into it, but.
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: You can say as much you want. Like I just
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: never asked what are your how it is because that's
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: not my story to tell. And you get to open
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: up as much as you want.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, as you want. Yeah. So I have had a
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: mental illness for fifteen years, being a diagnosed eating disorder
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: and depression, and so that over the course of my
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: teens and twenties has led to several hospital admissions and
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: weekly therapy. So that is my biggest expense, but in
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: agreeance with you and Jess, it's the best money I'll
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: ever spend. You're nothing without your health. I'm such an
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: advocate for that, and I think a lot of people
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: look at me and go, well, God, you've been in
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: therapy for ages. You're gonna do that forever. But really
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: the alternative is to be miserable, and why would I
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: want that? And I really wish people would go to
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: therapy not because they have issues, because they want to
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: learn about themselves and improve. So that's the other benefit
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: for me. And yeah, so it's look, I still see
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: a psychologist weekly. That's the biggest expense for me. I
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: haven't been into hospital for a number of years, so
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: that's an issue. Thank you.
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: How good is that?
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well, look it's I think it's more because hospital
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: is such a terrible place for eating disorders, so I
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: wouldn't recommend. But yeah, look it is. It is good,
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: and I think with age, I'm learning how to manage
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: it better. I've got more control autonomy over it. Like,
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: for example, when I was first sick as a thirteen
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: year old, you're reliant on your parents to get treatment,
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: whereas now it's in my hands, which can be daunting,
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: but you've just got to take charge and keep showing up,
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: which is what I do each week. And yeah, it's
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: the best investment I can give myself.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so proud that you see it that way.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: I do have a perfect question because obviously this plays
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: into our money story and our upbringing. But how did
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: this manifest for you? Eating disorders I don't believe are
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: understood in the way that they should be understood. And
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: I think a lot of people make the grand assumption
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: that you have an eating disorder because you want to
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: be skinny, or you don't like your body and yeah, exactly,
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: and so talk to me about where this kind of
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: like stemmed from and how that played into your growing
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: up and now how it impacts you. Know, I'm assuming
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: that maybe this has something to do with you going
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: back to UNI at a later age, Like, how's this
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: impact of.
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: Your life hugely? Yeah, in some ways I'm grateful for it.
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: In some ways I'm still a bit heartbroken by it.
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: But yes, eating disorders are massively misunderstood, and the stigma
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: that is attached to all mental illness is terrible, but
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: particularly with eating disorders, it's really tough because anytime you socialize,
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: anytime there's a celebration, it's around food, and that you know,
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: if you have a drug addiction or an alcohol addiction,
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: you can take that away. But with an eating disorder,
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: and I'm not to say they're comparable at all, but
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: you are fighting your poison every day because you have
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: to eat to live. So mine manifested when I was thirteen,
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: when my parents were getting divorced. I just remember feeling
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: an immense amount of shame and guilt and not having
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: an outlet for it. And I was so unhappy and
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: sad inside, but nobody could see it. So I said
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: to myself, well, maybe if I look different, they'll start noticing.
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: And so I started to lose a lot of weight.
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: And my inning disorder was always bliemia, So although I
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: lost weight, it wasn't, you know, extremely noticeable. I wasn't malnourished,
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: so to speak. So it was became this like I
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: still never forget the first time I made myself purge.
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: It becomes this outlet of you eat all this food
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: and it's like your temporary arms wrapped around you, source
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: of comfort, and then you're so disgusting yourself and you're
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: gone make yourself sick. And then it worked for me
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: because it was a secret outlet. If I cut myself
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: or self harmed, people would see it. But people don't
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: see eating disorders as much. They're concealed. And I very
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: much grew up in a Catholic family where we sweep
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: things under the carpet, and you know, if you can't
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: see it, as long as you present well and you've
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: got your white picket fence, then the rest doesn't matter.
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: So that hugely impacted me. It took away a lot
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: of my youth, and yeah, just a lot of hospital
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: admissions and just even like you know, people go, oh,
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: you know, don't give the last piece of cake to Tory.
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: We know where that will go. So you kind of
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: become the butt of jokes sometimes people are well meaning
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: or they say, so you don't. Yeah, it's not fun.
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: So it is one of those things that is tough
• 37:59
  Speaker 4: because once you disclose it to people, they're always monitoring
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: you around food and that is really overwhelming if you've
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: got a needing disorder or had one. So, yeah, it
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: is really misunderstood, and I wish that I talked about
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: it more openly earlier. I still struggle with it now,
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: and I'm sure I will have friends that listen to
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: this podcast that have no idea about that struggle. And yeah,
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: I think I guess with age you've become a bit
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: more self assured, but there's a lot of shame attached
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: to it and misunderstood. Yeah.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: Wow, thank you for sharing that with us and being
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: so open and honest about what that is and what
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: that means, because that's not something that's super easy to
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: talk about, Like that's something that is, you know, such
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: a part of you that is usually so guarded that
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: you know, you don't let it go and the fact
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: that you've told us and not some of your friends, Like,
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I feel so special, also honored that
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: you would be so open with us. What has that
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: meant you as an adult to be able to earn
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: a living? Obviously, you sound like, from my perspective, and
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: absolute hustler. Like you've had a business, you saved some
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: epic amount of coin. Yesterday, you literally got your dream job,
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: and you are moving into that. Like it sounds like
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: you are flourishing. But just because on the outside you
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: look like you're flourishing doesn't mean you are. How has
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: that impacted your ability to go to UNI, start a career,
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: start work? Like what kind of like roadblock did that
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: put in for you?
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah? Quite a big one. I was just too sick
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: to study. When you're not feeding yourself, you can't concentrate,
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: you can't retain things. So yeah, that's I guess why
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: I really went to UNI. Not until I was twenty five,
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: And I did feel a lot of pressure because by
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: that age, all my friends had done law degrees and
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: they were graduating and had full time jobs, and here
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: I was going back to be a poor UNI student.
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: So I remember feeling a lot of kind of shame
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: around that. But I look back now and I'm like,
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: thank god I didn't come out as a twenty one
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: year old social worker. Not that seven eight years is
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: much difference.
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: No, it totally is.
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's a quarter of my life.
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I'd like to think like, if I could
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: redo it, I wouldn't change it. It's worked really well
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: for me. But yeah, I think there was this big
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: fear of like will I ever do it? And will
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: I ever finish? And I'm nearly thirty and all the
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: rest of it. But now that I've finished, I'm like, oh,
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: why did I you know, worry? Is I worried about it? Yeah?
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: Like even now my new job said when do you
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: want to start? You can start as soon as you can.
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I probably want like another month of
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: freedom of bumming around and cleaning. Yeah. So yeah, it's
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: definitely impacted me. But I think going to the profession,
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: I am that there's a lot I can bring to
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: the table to help other people and empathize with them.
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: And I think you said before that you haven't felt
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: comfortable necessarily sharing your journey in its entirety with some
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: of the people in your life. And I just want
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: to point out that by doing what you're doing right
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: now and sharing right now, it's just the three of
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: us having a chat, but you're going to be in
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: the ears of probably close to a million people.
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: I was trying to tell my boyfriend last the reach
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: of this podcast. I'm typing into Google. She's on the
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: money stats. Yeah, don't the public. No, you have to
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: ask us. I know, well, you need to.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that you're going to have because they will, without
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: a doubt be people in our community who identify with
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: you and your journey and the struggles that you've had.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: And it's so special that you can share that part
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: of yourself and genuinely help other people, because I think
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: that it's a shining example of your working really hard
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: on yourself and you're going to therapy every week, and
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: we stan a woman who puts herself first and who
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: works through the tough stuff to really ensure that she's
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: looked after, and it's just a shining example I think
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: of pushing through that really really challenging stuff to create
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: a better life for yourself. So don't feel bad about
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: not sharing with people because you're doing it right now,
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: I promise you. I know that we will get messages
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: from other women saying I feel seen, I feel her,
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: I feel understood.
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: It's so lonely out there, and you do you feel
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: like you're alone and nobody understands. And I always think,
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: with all my struggles in life, if I feel I
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: have someone that has my back or knows what I'm
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: going through, you can face anything generally. And so yeah,
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: I think with eating disorders and mental illness, it's that
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: loneliness that we really need to eradicate.
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: But it's so true. And at the end of the day,
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: you don't actually owe anybody anything. If you don't owe
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: as much as they might be your friends or your family,
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: you don't owe any of them an explanation of what's
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: going on inside your head. And I think that's a
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: really good message to be taking out of this money
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: Diary today. Is that we started it talking about you know,
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: your parents six hundred thousand dollars divorce and there was
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: so much money, and you know, you grew up and
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: you had all this privilege. But that does not mean
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: in any way, shape or form that you didn't have
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: any struggles. You didn't have things that you needed to
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: get through. And often if you're not going through something financial,
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: you might be going through something personal. And everyone has
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: their own journey, and everyone has their own journey to success.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: And just because you might be disadvantaged in one way,
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: shape or form growing up, doesn't mean you can't change
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: your life and doesn't mean you can't change your situation
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: because look what you've done, because it was so crippling
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: and it is so ingrained in what you are. And
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: I think before we you know, I've got a few
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: things that I want to say, but I think it's
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: really important. I guess what would you say, like fact
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: check this and just like share with you guys if
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: you haven't listened to every single episode if she's on
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: the money, and you might have missed it that I
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: have struggled with eating disorders for a very significant portion
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: of my life. And that's not something that I believe
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: I struggle with today, and it's something that I believe
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: I have quote gotten through the worst of it with
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: because I now look back at, you know, fifteen, sixteen
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: year old Victoria, and it's like a different person, Like
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: it's looking at this person that I just can't comprehend existed,
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: like I can't from this perspective. And this is again
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: money Darist through lots of years of therapy, because that
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: is a very good investment. But I look at it
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: and go, I just don't understand her mindset. I don't
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: understand her mind frame. That's not her value. And I
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: wish I could scoop her up and remind her of that.
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: And I guess that's, you know, really important for me
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: to preface before I continue this discussion, because I hate
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: it when I hear people talking about topics that maybe
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: they haven't experienced, or having opinions on things where you're like, well,
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: you don't know what it's like. And this is one
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: of those topics where, yes, my friends, I actually do
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: and it's not you know, it's not something to gloat
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: about it. It's not something that should be glorified. It's
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: not something I ever wish anybody experienced. You know, I
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: wish I didn't experience it, but I have been hospitalized
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: for it, and it's unfortunately something that you don't shake.
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: So like an eating disorder and money, Darist, you said
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: earlier that you know you're a lifer with you with
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: your psychologist, and I laughed a little bit because same,
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: because you don't shake it. It's one of those things
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: that kind of sticks with you and that unfortunately, you
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: will deal with for the rest of your life. And
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: you will actually, you know, go through ebbs and flows,
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: and during periods of stress, maybe those things resurface and
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: you need a little bit more therapy, or you know,
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: you might find yourself in a position like I'm in
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: at the moment where I'm not struggling with it at all.
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: In fact, I believe I have a really really healthy
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: relationship with food at the moment. However, it ebbs and flows.
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: And the thing that I find so interesting about it
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: is that other people don't understand that. Other people don't
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: see that that is maybe a stress point for me.
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: And it's interesting interacting with my parents, for example, if
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: I say I'm really stressed at work, that'll be like,
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: are you eating well? Like it always comes up. Do
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: you find that that's something that you know you just
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: can't escape in your family or yes.
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: One hundred percent, And like it's annoying because when they ask,
• 46:23
  Speaker 4: it's probably not the time I'm going to give a
• 46:25
  Speaker 4: truthful answer anyway.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: No, I'm gonna lie to you through my tea.
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. But it's also like, yes, Mum, I had
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: to eat because like you've got to eat, you can't not.
• 46:36
  Speaker 4: So yes, it is always the scapegoat of the problems.
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: Oh it must be eating.
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and it's really really frustrating. But I think
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: something that we should talk about so much more openly
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: because these things, as you mentioned before, you weren't nourishing
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: yourself enough to concentrate, so you couldn't go to UNI yet.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: And that's not something I think a lot of people
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: might think when you're know, well I'm struggling with mental health. Yeah,
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: like that's a big part of it, Like you need
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: to nourish yourself, you need to care for yourself. And
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: ah just makes me so happy to know that you're
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: putting yourself forward and that you're in this situation where
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: you've got your dream job and you've got this house
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: deposit saved, and you've hustled your butt off to get
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: to this position. But it's not without struggle, and I
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: think so easily people at the start of this money
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: diary might have been like, here we go, a privileged
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: money diary who had a whole heap of money and
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: no worries in the world when that's just not the case.
• 47:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I think everyone has their own struggles and it's
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: all relative to what you know. So sometimes I tell
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: people about my child and they go, oh, well, god,
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: my problems aren't as bad as yours, and I'm like,
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: that's not true. It's it's what you know, and it's
• 47:45
  Speaker 4: your Yeah, your struggles, so you can't there's no hierarchy.
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: No exactly. And I think it's really important to understand
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: that just because somebody else had it worse, quote, yeah,
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: it doesn't mean that you're Yeah, it doesn't make your
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: struggles in valid. And I think we really need to
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: approach life that way that she's on the money community
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: that way, like, yeah, you're right, someone could have had
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: it better, someone could have had it worse. It doesn't
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: mean that your struggles aren't valid. And I think a
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: lot of the time personally, people take it on themselves
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: to be like, oh, like, I need to stop complaining
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: because somebody else who had it worse. It's just not
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: the way we should be treating ourselves. We need to
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: respect our own journeys, and to do that, we need
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: to acknowledge them. So, oh, thank you so much for
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: sharing all of this with us Money Diarist. We are oh,
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: we are so grateful and so honored to have had
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: you on the show and to yeah, have had you
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: be so open with us. I know that it's going
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: to impact so many people in the best of ways.
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: Thank you. It's been an absolute pleasure to see you both,
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: and yeah, thank you for having me.
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: I've loved it, oh my gosh, of course. But unfortunately
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: I do think that is all we have time for today.
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: But just before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torris Straight Islander peoples.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: and the caring for the land on which we are
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: able to learn. We pay our respect to elders past
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: and present, and we share our friendship and our kindness.
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: See you next week, guys.
• 49:17
  Speaker 4: Bye,