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Transcript

No More Toxic Gratitude: A Kinder Way to Be With Yourself · STOPTIME: Live in the Moment.

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hey there.
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanted to check in with you and talk to you a little bit about gratitude.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um gratitude can be tricky because in the world we live in, there's kind of an obligation to be grateful.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Even as a kid, I remember my parents saying, be grateful.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're lucky.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: You have more than other people, and so on and so forth.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so gratitude has kind of turned into a bit of a thing.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, you know, be smart, work hard, you know, all the all of these limiting beliefs.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: And and gosh, I wouldn't want gratitude to become something that you feel you should do.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: You should feel.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I think about should.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: I should is I could with shame.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: You can be grateful.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: As human beings, we have the capacity to be grateful, to access gratitude.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: But there is no obligation.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: There's no obligation to be grateful.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I promise you, if you dig deep down and think about gratitude and what it means to you, you will want to be grateful.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Not because you feel like you should or have to.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Or not because you can't, feel like you can't, because it's been a hard going for you, and you feel resentful or resistant to even thinking about gratitude as being something that you can access.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: I promise you, thanksgiving, if you want, is a time to dig into self a little bit, or at least a reminder, that you get to be grateful if you want to.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: So do not try to find the words to say, to sound like you're grateful.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: If you do not feel grateful, that's okay.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're feeling resentful, what is that resentment blocking?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: What is it attached to?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I will be grateful when you're nicer to me, when I get more opportunities, etc.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Do you see the attachment piece?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, gratitude is an inside job.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's for you.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's there all the time for you to access.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Not to show it off, not to feel in guilt or shame.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful to be here right now.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful to have a brain to think about what being grateful means.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful for the sadness that I feel that I'm not going to be surrounded by family on Thanksgiving.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful not that they're not going to be here, but that I am human enough to feel sad and to know that I'm okay.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Just because we want something so deeply and we don't have it doesn't mean that that has to guide us.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: Guide our thoughts and our actions because we feel like it would be so much easier to be grateful if we had what we want.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's not how gratitude works.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: And all of that is lovely.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: But let's not do toxic gratitude, guys.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: No toxic gratitude to be continued.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: I've got a client.