Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 173. 🎁The Gift of Self-Worth: Stop Buying Approval This Christmas

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173. 🎁The Gift of Self-Worth: Stop Buying Approval This Christmas · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apoge production, She Rises Twelve Days of Christmas.
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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, Welcome back to day three of Twelve Days
0:19
Speaker 2: of Christmas with Ashley and Tiana. If you've missed the
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Speaker 2: last two episodes, please go back and listen because they
0:23
Speaker 2: are super potent, really informative, and just important conversations to have.
0:28
Speaker 2: Absolutely dressed in slie pajamas with tinsel wrap around our microphone,
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Speaker 2: but we're also having a very deep conversation absolutely, and
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Speaker 2: today's title is the Gift of Self Worth, Stop buying
0:38
Speaker 2: approval this Christmas. When we were doing this episode, I
0:42
Speaker 2: was like, coll I can relate to this so much.
0:45
Speaker 2: So I just always thought, the more that I buy people,
0:49
Speaker 2: the more money I spend, the more they will feel loved. Yeah,
0:52
Speaker 2: and I think I will go into personal stories. Let's
0:55
Speaker 2: go straight into it. Let's waste absolutely no time. It's Christmas.
0:59
Speaker 2: So a few years ago, I was in a position
1:02
Speaker 2: where I was at the peak of my career. I
1:03
Speaker 2: definitely had a lot of money, and I spent a
1:07
Speaker 2: lot of money on my friends and my family, and
1:10
Speaker 2: I used to have a fear that they obviously knew
1:13
Speaker 2: that I was in a good position with money, that
1:15
Speaker 2: if I didn't spend a lot on them for birthdays
1:17
Speaker 2: and Christmases and stuff that they would feel like I
1:19
Speaker 2: was stingy, or I was a tighter, or like I
1:21
Speaker 2: didn't care about them, so I went over the top
1:24
Speaker 2: with presents and spending so much money. And now, pop
1:28
Speaker 2: a reflection, I'm like, wow, I'm a generous person by nature.
1:31
Speaker 2: I love giving. I've always did it from in a
1:32
Speaker 2: position to help. I always will be, not taking away
1:35
Speaker 2: from that, but it was definitely from a place of fear,
1:38
Speaker 2: whereas now it's more from a place of like love
1:41
Speaker 2: and making it sentimental and I want them to feel special,
1:44
Speaker 2: but I don't fear that if I don't buy them
1:46
Speaker 2: that they're gonna leave me or they don't love me.
1:48
Speaker 2: And there's such a different energy behind it.
1:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like there's no secondary thing on the end of that.
1:52
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, it comes from a genuine want and
1:55
Speaker 3: genuine place of like love, yes, instead of like oh shit,
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Speaker 3: like yeah, I don't do this, I'm not good enough.
2:01
Speaker 4: Well, they're not gonna love me as much.
2:02
Speaker 2: And there's also the flip side for them, which I
2:04
Speaker 2: sell resually didn't think about how it made them feel.
2:07
Speaker 2: Is when I would overspend and overgive them, they would
2:10
Speaker 2: then be upset they couldn't do the same for me.
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Speaker 2: So I didn't think about the tail end of that, like,
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Speaker 2: oh gosh, I would feel like that too if my
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Speaker 2: friend was buying me all this extravagant stuff and then
2:19
Speaker 2: I didn't have the budget to buy them that for them.
2:21
Speaker 2: So there was that side of it as well. So
2:23
Speaker 2: upon reflection, like, it's just that's not important how much
2:25
Speaker 2: you spend. It really isn't like it's so true. Someone
2:28
Speaker 2: writes me a beautiful card and like prints out a photo,
2:30
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so beautiful. It's the
2:32
Speaker 2: thought that goes into it. This episode is just all
2:35
Speaker 2: about having the awareness around where are you overgiving might
2:38
Speaker 2: have been money, but gifts time, energy, in fear of
2:42
Speaker 2: being abandoned, in fear of not being loved. Yes, do
2:45
Speaker 2: you have a time where you felt like you've overgiven?
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Speaker 4: Oh my god, all the time?
2:48
Speaker 2: So tell us.
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Speaker 3: There was a period of my life where I was
2:52
Speaker 3: surrounded by this environment of women and they were all
2:55
Speaker 3: doing really cool things in business, like and this may
2:58
Speaker 3: have been like you know what you just explained. So
3:00
Speaker 3: I was around these women who were doing really, really
3:02
Speaker 3: cool things in business, and I almost felt like I
3:04
Speaker 3: needed to keep up with them.
3:05
Speaker 4: Oh yeah.
3:06
Speaker 3: And so it was like I was finding myself overly
3:09
Speaker 3: giving and naturally I'm a thoughtful person, so I feel
3:12
Speaker 3: like I would naturally think of these things, but to
3:15
Speaker 3: the point where I wanted to match kind of what
3:17
Speaker 3: they were doing, but it would put me out, so
3:20
Speaker 3: like because I wanted to like portray myself as something
3:23
Speaker 3: or feel as worthy as them based on money or
3:28
Speaker 3: amounts or whatever.
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Speaker 4: I would be like, oh, you.
3:30
Speaker 3: Know, like I want to give them this, and then
3:31
Speaker 3: I would do it, but then I would be like, fuck,
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Speaker 3: my bank account is not looking good right now because
3:35
Speaker 3: I've now put myself out because I wanted to give
3:37
Speaker 3: them something that was like really good, but it was
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Speaker 3: like yes, about giving, but it was also about me
3:42
Speaker 3: not wanting to feel not good enough in myself. So
3:45
Speaker 3: it was really like strange, Like yeah, a strange time.
3:48
Speaker 3: And there was also a time where around that same
3:51
Speaker 3: time where I would overly give, but a part of
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Speaker 3: me wanted to make myself like so valuable that that
3:59
Speaker 3: person would see that I was.
4:00
Speaker 2: Valuable so they wouldn't leave.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like it's almost like I wanted them to need
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Speaker 3: me in a way, right. I wanted them to like
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Speaker 3: value me and love me and be like, oh my god,
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Speaker 3: she's like such a good friend and all the things.
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Speaker 4: So I was like, oh my god, I'm so terrified
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Speaker 4: being left.
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Speaker 3: If I can some way make myself like valuable as
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Speaker 3: a friend, yeah, then maybe they won't ever leave me.
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Speaker 4: And like, I can tell you.
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Speaker 2: It doesn't work. It doesn't work, you know.
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Speaker 3: So that also came from a hugely fear based place
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Speaker 3: and also super unworthy place as a person as a friend,
4:30
Speaker 3: not feeling like I was deserving of having somebody come
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Speaker 3: and love me just for me, as opposed to like
4:36
Speaker 3: the things that I could do for them.
4:38
Speaker 4: Yeah.
4:38
Speaker 3: Actually, I just had a fucking pivotal realization. I do
4:41
Speaker 3: that in relationships. Oh, I do that in relationships. I
4:44
Speaker 3: make myself valuable. I do overgiven because I overextend myself
4:48
Speaker 3: in intimate relationships. It's a problem of mine. I'm trying
4:51
Speaker 3: to pull that back act. She's trying to help me.
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Speaker 2: But it's also like from such a beautiful place as well.
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Speaker 2: It's a hard balance. It's hard balance.
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Speaker 4: It is.
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Speaker 3: It does come from a good place, but I overextend
5:00
Speaker 3: myself and I almost feel like if I over extend,
5:03
Speaker 3: then I will be more worthy all my and it
5:05
Speaker 3: just is not a nice place to come from.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've done that in work situations too, like trying
5:10
Speaker 2: to build my friends following up or like invest like
5:12
Speaker 2: give money to help start their businesses or get seemed
5:14
Speaker 2: to all their website or the ads, and like we
5:16
Speaker 2: just give, give, give like it's from Yeah, it's from
5:18
Speaker 2: a fearful place. Black. Yeah, from black, it really is.
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Speaker 3: It's such a slippery slope as well, because I think
5:25
Speaker 3: it's hard. It's hard to sit in it when you
5:26
Speaker 3: first recognize it, because you're like, well, it does come
5:29
Speaker 3: from a good place, so why is it bad that
5:31
Speaker 3: I'm doing this?
5:32
Speaker 2: Exactly? But to what extent? To what extent?
5:34
Speaker 4: Yeah?
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Speaker 3: I think that's the conversation we're having here is like,
5:37
Speaker 3: to what extent are you over extending yourself? Does it
5:39
Speaker 3: come from a place of genuine like, oh my gosh,
5:42
Speaker 3: if they never gave anything back, never said anything, I
5:44
Speaker 3: didn't get validation for this. There's no expectation, there's no
5:47
Speaker 3: expectation would this still feel good? And then where does
5:50
Speaker 3: that line start where it starts to feel a bit like, oh,
5:52
Speaker 3: this feels a bit icky, or I'm putting myself out,
5:55
Speaker 3: or financially, I can't fucking afford this gift. Where does
5:57
Speaker 3: your line sit in your generosity?
6:00
Speaker 2: That's so true. Yeah, and then there's the line I
6:03
Speaker 2: found too overgiving and everything, Like I was always the
6:06
Speaker 2: friend that organizes everything, pays for everything. I love doing that.
6:10
Speaker 2: But then I got to a point where I was like, oh,
6:12
Speaker 2: I always feel like this is expected and my faults.
6:14
Speaker 2: I've set it up like that. Then I started to
6:16
Speaker 2: not feel appreciated for it, and like they expected me
6:18
Speaker 2: to organize and pay for everything for everyone, and that
6:21
Speaker 2: didn't feel good either. So now it's like, even if
6:24
Speaker 2: I'm in a position to pay for something and you've
6:26
Speaker 2: pulled me up on this before my current birthday coming up,
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Speaker 2: You're like, no, everyone can ship in for a commination.
6:30
Speaker 2: It's like we No, I've always paid for everyone to
6:33
Speaker 2: say like us gem and to buy and I paid
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Speaker 2: for it all. I'm not gonna all of a sudden
6:35
Speaker 2: ask my friends for money. You're like, yes, you are,
6:39
Speaker 2: because it's fair. But that is really uncomfortable because I've
6:42
Speaker 2: always done that. It's interesting to see the different things
6:45
Speaker 2: that can play out when you overgive, and where it's
6:48
Speaker 2: coming from and also what comes back energy wise, expectations
6:52
Speaker 2: you have on other people. Are you doing it to
6:54
Speaker 2: get validation? Are you wanting to be seen? There's so
6:56
Speaker 2: many layers to.
6:57
Speaker 3: It, hate and even the fear that you felt of like,
7:00
Speaker 3: oh but I've always done this, Now I can't go
7:02
Speaker 3: back on that. Yeah, So then the expectation is almost
7:04
Speaker 3: on you of like have to continue showing up like this.
7:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm fearful they won't come if they can't
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Speaker 2: afford it. So I'm like, oh, I'd just rather cover
7:10
Speaker 2: it and then I know everyone can come.
7:11
Speaker 4: Yeah.
7:11
Speaker 2: I don't want money to ever be a reason why
7:14
Speaker 2: women can't come together and connect.
7:15
Speaker 4: Yeah. It also comes from a caretaking place.
7:18
Speaker 2: Yeah.
7:18
Speaker 3: I love my people. I want to take care of her.
7:20
Speaker 3: I want them to have a good time. Yes, want
7:22
Speaker 3: them to celebrate with me for my birthday.
7:24
Speaker 2: I don't want my birthday to be it's something that
7:25
Speaker 2: they're stressing about money. Yes, Like if I just cover it,
7:28
Speaker 2: then ever, I come and had a good time.
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Speaker 3: And how beautiful is this conversation because it shows that
7:32
Speaker 3: it comes from a good place. Yes, It's always comes
7:34
Speaker 3: from a place of love. But then it's also like
7:36
Speaker 3: where does the line lie in that generosity, especially if
7:39
Speaker 3: it's starting to come expected, because then in my head,
7:42
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh that, let's prevent future things from happening.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, where it could potentially ruin the dynamic.
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Speaker 2: I've got another girlfriend that's very very wealthy for you
7:50
Speaker 2: know her, she's very very wealthy. I've had similar conversations
7:53
Speaker 2: with her too, and she does what I've done as
7:55
Speaker 2: well and just overgives. But you can see that it
7:57
Speaker 2: causes her pain because people just expect it and almost
8:00
Speaker 2: use her for her money, or use her for her clothes,
8:02
Speaker 2: or use her for her connections or the way that
8:04
Speaker 2: she can get anything to happen. It's really sad because
8:08
Speaker 2: it's like they must feel like they're being taken advantage of.
8:11
Speaker 2: But to take responsibility, you've set it up like that.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's hard because you want to give
8:16
Speaker 3: and you want to be generous and caring. But then
8:18
Speaker 3: it's like, okay, where can I have boundaries with myself?
8:20
Speaker 3: Because it's true like what you said, Like she even
8:22
Speaker 3: made a joke. She was like, oh, we need to
8:24
Speaker 3: go on a girl's trip and this and that, and
8:25
Speaker 3: I want everybody to come, but I was thinking about
8:27
Speaker 3: just buying everybody flights so we could all go together.
8:29
Speaker 4: I was like, no, babe, you're not paying for my flight.
8:31
Speaker 3: Like I love you, but no, you know, And it's
8:33
Speaker 3: like the general city is so beautiful, and it's thought
8:35
Speaker 3: that I'm like, that's so beautiful that you want everyone
8:38
Speaker 3: to come together, that you're willing to spend your heart
8:40
Speaker 3: earned resources on bringing us all together. But it's not
8:43
Speaker 3: your responsibility. And I think Christmas is a really good
8:47
Speaker 3: piece of evidence of this. How many times do we
8:50
Speaker 3: overly extend ourselves at Christmas, especially financially, whether you're in
8:53
Speaker 3: a good financial position, whether you or not, like whether
8:55
Speaker 3: you're really struggling at Christmas. Like it's like this expectation
8:59
Speaker 3: and we get it. Christmas is a beautiful time for
9:01
Speaker 3: most people, and so you want to get in that
9:03
Speaker 3: Christmas spirit and give gifts to the people you love,
9:05
Speaker 3: But like to what extent as well, Like where can
9:08
Speaker 3: you limit yourself of like can you give yourself even
9:11
Speaker 3: like a budget or something like that, don't have like
9:12
Speaker 3: a certain amount that you spend on each person, because
9:14
Speaker 3: I know for me in the past, I'd be like,
9:16
Speaker 3: oh my god, I got to spend X amount of
9:18
Speaker 3: money on this person, and I'd be like, the fuck,
9:19
Speaker 3: I gotta do that for like twenty people? Yeah, you know,
9:21
Speaker 3: and then I'm like, oh my god, I'm overwhelmed. Yeah,
9:23
Speaker 3: it's like you know at the time ome when I
9:25
Speaker 3: was younger, and I'd be like, I saved up all
9:27
Speaker 3: this money, so good to Christmas come around form all
9:28
Speaker 3: my savings is gone. Yeah, I'm like, shit, I've got
9:31
Speaker 3: no boundaries with myself. So I wonder if this is
9:33
Speaker 3: a time where we can reinvent and recreate the way
9:36
Speaker 3: that we behave around Christmas so that when you are giving,
9:40
Speaker 3: it's coming from a good place and it feels just
9:42
Speaker 3: as good to give as it does for that person
9:45
Speaker 3: to receive.
9:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, Steve's mum put a good boundary in
9:48
Speaker 2: place because she doesn't have a lot of money, and
9:49
Speaker 2: each year we all have a twenty do limit. Yeah,
9:52
Speaker 2: not allowed to spend any more than twenty dollars. And
9:53
Speaker 2: I think because once again Steve and I were overgiving,
9:56
Speaker 2: then she would feel like shit that she couldn't afford
9:58
Speaker 2: to so she put it in place. And at first
10:00
Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck am I need to
10:01
Speaker 2: buy for twenty dollars, but actually made me think more
10:03
Speaker 2: about something more sentim Its beautiful and the kids would
10:06
Speaker 2: make somethings that would buy something And it's nice because
10:09
Speaker 2: there's no pressure on anyone. And also Christmas doesn't just
10:12
Speaker 2: have to be about the gifts. Yah, It's about actually
10:14
Speaker 2: about coming together and action, connection and love and just
10:17
Speaker 2: being fully present with each other and having a day
10:19
Speaker 2: where you all get to celebrate beautiful. That about the
10:22
Speaker 2: money and the gifts, right, yeah, sure, but it's just
10:25
Speaker 2: once again having that self awareness of like, okay, am
10:28
Speaker 2: I overgiving it? And why am I doing that? And
10:30
Speaker 2: at what cost? Yes? How does that feel? How does
10:32
Speaker 2: it make the other person feel? Absolutely?
10:34
Speaker 3: It almost like presents any discord between family people that
10:39
Speaker 3: you actually love. I imagine, like lots of people do Secret.
10:41
Speaker 2: Santa, Yes, and they put a budget on it. I've
10:43
Speaker 2: always thought Secret Center was really cool, so fun.
10:45
Speaker 4: I haven't done that with my family, but I really
10:47
Speaker 4: should because there's so many of us.
10:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a good idea because then you're just buying
10:50
Speaker 2: one present. Yes, everyone just has their Secret Sanda. You
10:52
Speaker 2: don't have my gifts for everyone else. Yeah, that saves
10:54
Speaker 2: a lot of money.
10:55
Speaker 4: There are literally eleven grandchildren in my family and just.
10:59
Speaker 2: All get together on the same house.
11:01
Speaker 4: No because we.
11:01
Speaker 3: Live in different states. Oh true, but half of us
11:04
Speaker 3: will be for Christmas.
11:06
Speaker 4: Yeah, so cool it is. And then it's like that
11:08
Speaker 4: and then it's like, oh do I buy for my siblings?
11:10
Speaker 1: Is?
11:10
Speaker 4: What? What about my parents? And you know.
11:12
Speaker 3: So it's just it's one of those things that it
11:14
Speaker 3: can build up really really quickly. So I feel like
11:16
Speaker 3: boundaries with yourself around Christmas time are so important. But
11:20
Speaker 3: when you know that it comes from a good place,
11:21
Speaker 3: it's not going to feel as icky.
11:23
Speaker 2: It's just a hard thing to navigate, isn't it. I
11:24
Speaker 2: feel like I'm still learning to do. I catch myself
11:26
Speaker 2: wanting to overgive and overbuy and over and over. I
11:30
Speaker 2: overdo it all because there's still that wound there of like, oh,
11:32
Speaker 2: if I do this, then they won't leave.
11:34
Speaker 4: Yeah.
11:34
Speaker 2: You want people to love you for you, not for
11:36
Speaker 2: what you can give them. Yeah, and supply them. And
11:39
Speaker 2: it's cool to be able to have the conversation. So
11:41
Speaker 2: I think even just bringing awareness to it allows you
11:44
Speaker 2: to recognize where it's still showing up in your life,
11:46
Speaker 2: and then you get to go from there. Okay, cool,
11:48
Speaker 2: Do I soothe myself or can I even have a conversation?
11:51
Speaker 2: You know, if that was coming up for me and
11:52
Speaker 2: be like babe, I guess someone coming up tell me
11:54
Speaker 2: you love me? You know, yes, it's really cool. Just
11:58
Speaker 2: remember over Christmas that your worth isn't under the tree,
12:01
Speaker 2: it's actually just within you. It's the energy you bring,
12:03
Speaker 2: it's the love you bring.
12:05
Speaker 3: And whilst we've banged on about like the wound of
12:07
Speaker 3: this and like where this.
12:08
Speaker 4: Actually comes from? What do we actually do with it?
12:11
Speaker 4: And how do we actually get ourselves out of it?
12:12
Speaker 3: And I think the biggest thing when it comes to
12:14
Speaker 3: unworthiness wounds, and at least in my experience, what has
12:17
Speaker 3: been the most powerful thing has been learning how to
12:20
Speaker 3: sit with the unworthiness when it comes up. So you
12:22
Speaker 3: know that part of you that wants to go buy
12:24
Speaker 3: a gift or spend two hundred and fifty dollars on
12:26
Speaker 3: a gift that you can't afford right now, it's like
12:29
Speaker 3: closing your eyes and sitting with yourself and going like
12:31
Speaker 3: what is this bringing up for me right now? Like
12:32
Speaker 3: where does this come from? And like what am I
12:35
Speaker 3: afraid to feel? And then just sitting with it, like
12:38
Speaker 3: you don't have to change it. You don't have to
12:40
Speaker 3: fix it. You don't have to you know, even put
12:42
Speaker 3: an affirmation on it and change the story. I just
12:44
Speaker 3: want you to sit with the feeling of not feeling
12:46
Speaker 3: good enough or feeling like you need to prove your
12:49
Speaker 3: worth for someone to love you.
12:51
Speaker 2: And I also want you to think about when those
12:54
Speaker 2: stories come up with they're going to leave me, or
12:56
Speaker 2: they're not gonna love me, or they're gonna think I'm
12:58
Speaker 2: stingy or tight, or I should have done more. Is
13:01
Speaker 2: that actual facts?
13:03
Speaker 1: Yes?
13:03
Speaker 2: Probably not. It's being made up in your head. You're
13:07
Speaker 2: insecure about it, you're worried about it, you're projecting it.
13:10
Speaker 2: But I almost guarantee that no one else is thinking
13:12
Speaker 2: any of that. Absolutely, Just ask yourself, is that the truth?
13:15
Speaker 4: No?
13:16
Speaker 2: Maybe not? Maybe I can let that go then.
13:17
Speaker 3: And honestly, if you're an anxious girly like us, you
13:19
Speaker 3: could even bring that into conversation and be vulnerable about
13:22
Speaker 3: it if you need a bit of reassurance from the
13:24
Speaker 3: person that you don't need to do the big extravagance
13:27
Speaker 3: to be love that. Yeah, like asking them what it
13:31
Speaker 3: is that they want for Christmas? Hey, Like, can you
13:33
Speaker 3: set a budget with that friend. Is that something that
13:35
Speaker 3: would feel good for you. You can even be like, Babe,
13:36
Speaker 3: I want to buy you the world. I want to
13:38
Speaker 3: buy you the world. I love you, and this year financially,
13:41
Speaker 3: I'm feeling a little bit stretched. And usually when you
13:44
Speaker 3: have conversations that vulnerable, that other person's going to swoop
13:46
Speaker 3: in and be like, I fucking love you. Yeah, I
13:48
Speaker 3: don't even need a present, a present like actually did
13:50
Speaker 3: the other week, but I'm a vio present anyway, you know, Yeah,
13:54
Speaker 3: you'll be able to openly have that conversation in a
13:56
Speaker 3: really vulnerable way, and I think even that will help
13:59
Speaker 3: create connection, reassure you.
14:01
Speaker 2: It absolutely squish the stories that are coming out that
14:04
Speaker 2: you're making up in your head that far from truth.
14:06
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and then that's something that you can squash and
14:08
Speaker 3: not have to worry about next time. It's like when
14:10
Speaker 3: we do these stories in our head and we make
14:12
Speaker 3: things up and we you know, feed those stories bigger.
14:15
Speaker 4: Yeah, they get bigger.
14:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get it.
14:17
Speaker 4: They don't have to be No, they don't have to be.
14:20
Speaker 4: And also assuming the best of the people in.
14:21
Speaker 2: Your life, yeah, not assuming the worst for sure. That's
14:24
Speaker 2: a big one here. It is Yeah, it's beautiful. No
14:27
Speaker 2: one wants to assume that you're thinking that of them
14:29
Speaker 2: when you bring that in. It's like, oh my gosh,
14:30
Speaker 2: I would never expect you to buy any present, need that.
14:32
Speaker 2: I just want you to come for the day. That's right,
14:34
Speaker 2: assuming the best.
14:34
Speaker 3: And if you could assume the best of that person
14:36
Speaker 3: that you're trying to impress or get approval from.
14:38
Speaker 4: What would they say to you?
14:39
Speaker 3: If you think that they would say to you if
14:41
Speaker 3: you actually brought this to them, they would probably be like,
14:43
Speaker 3: you're being silly.
14:44
Speaker 2: I love it, please don't And I already brought that
14:47
Speaker 2: for myself last week's anyway, I'd be happy if we
14:50
Speaker 2: sat on the couch and did nothing together. Just bring
14:52
Speaker 2: some rocky road, bring some vibes.
14:55
Speaker 3: Road. Let's make this Christmas about connection and part with
15:01
Speaker 3: the people that you love and like, actually spending quality
15:04
Speaker 3: time with them, as opposed to worrying about what the
15:06
Speaker 3: gifts we provide can give or make us feel more worthy.
15:09
Speaker 3: Like it's not about us. So the Christmas isn't about us.
15:11
Speaker 3: It's about connecting with the people that you love.
15:13
Speaker 2: I hope you guys enjoyed this episode and we'll see
15:15
Speaker 2: you for Day four
15:16
Speaker 4: Tomorrow, Get ready, bye bye,