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The Vent & Victory Exercise · STOPTIME: Live in the Moment.

• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Hey there, sometimes when I lead groups, I start with an exercise I created called Vent and Victory.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I thought we might play around with it a little bit today.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: The idea is that we all share something that happened that we feel the need to blow off some steam about, or vent, you know, to let it out and then also to share something that we're celebrating or that we're feeling victorious about.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: It could be a big thing or a little thing, it could be something that you overcame, and what people realize when they do this, especially in a group environment, is that when they share something that made them angry or frustrated and say it out loud, it actually kind of takes some power away from it and in fact, in addition to releasing the energy that you've been holding on to about it, it almost allows you to diminish the importance of it, almost to be able to remove yourself from it and laugh at it.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: It just doesn't sound so big when you say it out loud.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: This works differently than when people are venting about the same thing and they're compiling.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: What I mean by that is, in my exercise it's in a coaching space.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: It's in a space where we all listen and hold space, like a coach does for a client.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: But when people vent and vent to each other and comment on the venting and compile it, well, I call that water coolering.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: And it's funny I say water cooler because I'm imagining, I don't know, you know, some kind of gathering at an office when people step away from their desk and, well, need to blow off, steam adds on and you start to just circulate it and it grows, doing quite the opposite to my exercise and really giving it more power, to be honest, right, stirring it up, making it more vital and present, whereas the venting in my coaching circles we hold each other as we vent.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: We don't jump into the ring and say me too, and that's the difference.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: So once we've all shared our vent without anyone commenting, we share victory.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: We draw our awareness around something that we would consider a victory that day or that week, something we've overcome, or since we've seen each other, things that come up here are the things that well, things we might not have considered before, that we might have taken for granted.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: But when we draw our awareness around, focusing on these prompts that we might otherwise overlook, we make them more significant.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: We make our strengths more significant, because a highlight is usually something that has something to do with you overcoming something, or getting through or finishing or accomplishing or generating something right and well and well.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: This is where we honor ourselves.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I feel good about dot dot dot.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I'm celebrating dot dot dot.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: My victory is that I made it through the week and I took good care of myself, for instance.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: So it's really interesting because, whereas with the vent, with no one commenting on it, we disempower it, we reduce its significance, but with the victory something that you might have previously overlooked when we bring that to the forefront, when we bring our wins to the forefront, we are much more able to give that importance and to shift our energy.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: It's huge.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: It's well known in science that we are hardwired to see the negative, but when we start to focus more and draw our awareness around the positive, around the wins, well, it's a kind of clearing process.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: It's a space creator and it's a wonderful thing to do before you step in to a meeting or a rehearsal or a dinner with your partner, whatever it might be.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Let's give it a try right here, right now.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: If you have a piece of paper, go ahead and write it down.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: If not, just give it some thought.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I want you just to consider something that you might consider a vent, something you'd like to vent about and why, and go ahead and write it down.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: And, if you're able, I want you to read it back or say it back to yourself without judgment, and notice what the process of bringing it to the forefront does when you write about it or think about it again or say it out loud Doesn't seem as important, does it as when it was stewing inside of you.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: And now I want you to consider something that you consider a victory, something that was a win for you recently.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Go ahead and close your eyes in this case.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Close your eyes and embody it, if you want.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I want you to really think about it, something that happened, and ask yourself what was it about me that helped make that happen?
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: And then own it.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Guys, vent and victory is a great exercise if you are working with a team, but it's also great if you're working with yourself.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to share it with you.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: So, again, the key takeaway from this is to think about something that you've been holding on to or bitching about quite honestly, and stop doing that.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Say it out loud, with no one jumping on board, and ask yourself was it really that bad?
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Do you really want to give it that much significance and then use that energy, use that space to feel and remember and select a victory.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Start to really recognize the things that are going well for you, because they're there, you guys.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: So no more hanging around the water cooler.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: All right, try the vent in victory and let me know how it's going.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening, you guys.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: And again, the book is out.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: The link is in the bio.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I am super excited.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I've had such incredible responses already from you guys that are reading it.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Please, please, please.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: If you've not picked up the places where there are spaces, go for it.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: It's going to help you.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: There's exercises in there and I just want to share it with you.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: So lots of love and thanks so much for listening.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I am Lisa Hopkins.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Stay safe and healthy and remember to live in the moment.