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Rethinking the Finish Line: A New Perspective on Success · Closing Sales in Nigeria - Sales For The Nigerian Business Person: The Sales and Marketing Blueprint

• 0:01
  Hello and welcome to the show. Today we're going to take a
• 0:04
  detour from sales and I want us to discuss something that I've
• 0:08
  been seeing has been going on for a while now.
• 0:12
  But I got a post on a group that I'm a member of.
• 0:16
  And so I figured, let me just hop on here and freestyle a
• 0:20
  little bit on this particular matter.
• 0:23
  And So what I want to talk about today is how we should stop
• 0:26
  shifting goal posts on what success means.
• 0:31
  I guess it's something that is relevant in Nigerian context
• 0:34
  because, you know, growing up here, you know, kids, primary
• 0:39
  school, you know, there's a certain model of what, what all
• 0:42
  that success looks like. And for some reason, people have
• 0:46
  chosen to what's that word? Rebel.
• 0:51
  Yeah, to rebel and to refuse those models of success.
• 0:55
  And I think people are choosing to redefine success for good
• 0:59
  reasons. But I think ultimately what
• 1:01
  we're doing is we're just shifting the goal posts and and
• 1:06
  not really taking accountability for what it is that we actually
• 1:09
  like. So today I just want to have
• 1:11
  that conversation over here with you guys.
• 1:12
  You know, just a little family conversation between, you know,
• 1:17
  you and me and a couple of other people who are listening to the
• 1:19
  podcast right now on why we should stop shifting the goal
• 1:23
  post on what success actually means.
• 1:26
  So if you'd like to connect with me and explore opportunities,
• 1:30
  then call me on 08064662140 or connect with me on the socials.
• 1:37
  I spend most of my time on LinkedIn.
• 1:39
  My name is Tavishima Ayede. Well, the country code is +234
• 1:42
  for those of you who are not Nigerian.
• 1:44
  So like I said, I want us to, you know, just have a small
• 1:47
  chitchat, small family meeting about why we should stop
• 1:50
  shifting the goal post on what success means.
• 1:54
  Because I'm one of those people who thinks that all those things
• 1:56
  they taught us in primary school about what success means.
• 1:59
  Whatever it is that your teacher taught you or whatever it is
• 2:01
  that the community in quote or the society in quote told you
• 2:05
  about success. Whatever it is that they told
• 2:07
  you success means, in my own opinion, I think it's actually
• 2:10
  fine. There's no need to start
• 2:12
  redefining what success means to you.
• 2:14
  Now, the reason why this thing is on my chest today and The
• 2:18
  thing is really nagging at my craw this morning is because I
• 2:22
  was just chilling with my phone like most of you do, and I was
• 2:26
  scrolling through a WhatsApp group that I'm a member of.
• 2:29
  And it's the APVA. So I, I think it's APVAI think
• 2:33
  it's the association of is it professional podcasters and
• 2:38
  voice actors of Africa, you know, So because I'm a homeboy,
• 2:44
  I like to keep to myself. If there's not money that's
• 2:46
  taking me outside, you won't see me outside.
• 2:48
  So I keep to myself. I don't talk to people.
• 2:52
  It's just money, wife, kids, in that order, kind of OK.
• 2:59
  And then, you know, once in a while Netflix.
• 3:02
  So yeah, but you know, my people, you know, wife, he says
• 3:07
  get out more, socialize more. Eventually I run into some of
• 3:11
  you and we end up getting into not just the coach client
• 3:16
  relationship, but then we also become friends.
• 3:18
  And some of you say, dude, get out more.
• 3:21
  Mumsy has been saying since since when I was in university
• 3:24
  that, you know, I need to get out more, need to socialize
• 3:27
  more. So that's why I've been, you
• 3:30
  know, hanging around a couple of other people joined this group,
• 3:33
  the APVA we've had. I've been to one of their a
• 3:37
  picnic session there where I got to moderate on some of the
• 3:40
  events, got to meet other people, people podcasting in
• 3:43
  different space spaces, you know, gossip podcasts,
• 3:45
  relationship podcasts, poetry podcasts, you know, all kinds of
• 3:48
  podcasts. So it's been good.
• 3:53
  Yeah. Anyway, so I'll scrolling
• 3:54
  through the group now. And then somebody put up a post
• 3:56
  about how success doesn't have to look like big players.
• 4:01
  Now, what the guy means is this, that if you have a podcast and
• 4:04
  you want to define how successful your podcast is, you
• 4:07
  don't have to look at what the big boys and the big girls in
• 4:09
  the podcasting space are doing. OK, no problem.
• 4:13
  I agree. Then the guy also says you have
• 4:15
  to define what success means to you.
• 4:18
  And the guy also said reshape your journey or reshape your
• 4:21
  vision to fit your vision or to fit your goals.
• 4:26
  OK, now some of this stuff sounds really nice, but let me
• 4:32
  reel here. I'm not a psychologist, I'm not
• 4:35
  a psychiatrist, so take what I say with the pinch of salt.
• 4:39
  But from a common sense perspective, all I think all of
• 4:42
  this is crap. And I think all of this is crap
• 4:44
  because you who is trying to succeed at something, You're
• 4:48
  trying to succeed in business, you're trying to succeed in
• 4:51
  podcasting. Heck, even if you're trying to
• 4:53
  succeed in bodybuilding or sports or whatever it is, you
• 4:57
  are drawn to that particular goal for a reason.
• 5:03
  It is OK, and it is human to reach for that goal trying and
• 5:09
  then fail. It is OK to fail, but I think
• 5:14
  it's inexcusable to start shifting the goal posts.
• 5:17
  So if you are drawn to the vision of a perfect body and by
• 5:21
  the time you're a 17 year old, you say you're going to be a
• 5:24
  bodybuilder and then you start and then bodybuilding is hard.
• 5:27
  And then next thing you start talking about how I'm not
• 5:29
  defined by my pecs and you know, or what not.
• 5:33
  Well, I guess it's a healthy conversation to have.
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  But in my own opinion, if you are drawn to this whole
• 5:38
  bodybuilding thing, it's OK to start and do the bodybuilding
• 5:41
  thing and then fail and not achieve your desired physique.
• 5:45
  It's fine because you're going to learn a bunch of things along
• 5:49
  the way that you can leverage into future endeavours.
• 5:52
  The failure in quote is going to help you to grow.
• 5:57
  But then starting and then the journey becomes difficult and
• 6:00
  then you start shifting your goal posts and you say I am not
• 6:02
  my body. I think that's absolute crap.
• 6:05
  So those of you who are drawn to being successful, like I was
• 6:10
  back when I was a kid, you hear stories, you hear a couple of
• 6:13
  things teachers tell you things in school or society in quotes,
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  as people like to say nowadays, put certain visions of success
• 6:20
  in front of you. If you're dropped to that sort
• 6:22
  of thing as a kid, it's fine. Pursue.
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  It's all right. You will try.
• 6:29
  You might fail, but it's OK because you're going to learn
• 6:33
  things along the way that you can leverage into future
• 6:35
  endeavors. That you failed does not make
• 6:38
  you a failure. But don't start shifting the
• 6:40
  goal posts. Somebody will start, maybe you
• 6:44
  want to be a big boy like Dangote, and by the time you
• 6:47
  start hitting 4550, you haven't arrived at Dangote's level.
• 6:50
  And then you start saying, after all, there's more to success,
• 6:54
  that money or a man is more than his bank account.
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  Or for me, success means it's for me.
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  Success means that, you know, stop shifting the goal posts.
• 7:05
  You are drawn to this thing for a reason.
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  Give it a go. Try.
• 7:10
  If you succeed, good. We'll all clap for you If you
• 7:14
  don't succeed, you will learn some things along the way that
• 7:17
  you can leverage into future endeavours.
• 7:20
  So stop settling and stop shifting goal posts.
• 7:24
  So if you're one of these people, one of my brothers and
• 7:27
  sisters who belongs to associations like this, the
• 7:29
  APVA, you decide that you want to be a podcaster and of course,
• 7:34
  in the podcasting space for success, people think in terms
• 7:37
  of, you know, size of audience and downloads and how you
• 7:40
  monetize. If that is the if that is what
• 7:43
  success is, it's fine. Reach for it.
• 7:49
  If you get it, we will clap for you.
• 7:51
  If you don't get it, you will learn some things along the way
• 7:55
  that you can leverage to future endeavors.
• 7:58
  But don't start shifting the goal posts.
• 8:00
  Don't start saying that yes they say 1,000,000 listeners is a
• 8:06
  successful podcast, but for me the quality of a podcast is not
• 8:10
  about the size of the audience. I am OK if I only have 10
• 8:13
  listeners who listen to me all the time and I impact two of
• 8:17
  their lives. In my own opinion that's
• 8:19
  absolute bull crap. If you are drawn to this goal of
• 8:22
  I want a million listeners then please by all means go ahead try
• 8:26
  and get those million listeners. If you get it, we will clap for
• 8:31
  you and you should clap for yourself.
• 8:33
  If you don't get it, you will learn some things along the way
• 8:36
  that you can leverage to future endeavors.
• 8:39
  But stop shifting the goal post because a whole bunch of you,
• 8:42
  you guys mean well. We're trying to cater to our
• 8:45
  mental health, but we're beginning to settle or we start
• 8:51
  the journey is hard. The goal post is too high.
• 8:53
  So say no who say this is how success has to be.
• 8:57
  And then you know, you drop, you drop the by.
• 8:59
  Keep dropping the by, keep dropping the by helping yourself
• 9:01
  stretch yourself. It's OK to shoot for something
• 9:05
  and it's OK to fail. It doesn't make you a failure.
• 9:10
  It doesn't I mean think about it.
• 9:12
  Let's look at Olympians, for instance.
• 9:14
  Cheby Olympics finished not a long time ago.
• 9:18
  What kind of Olympian would you be?
• 9:19
  If you say I want to be the best in the world 100 meters, but
• 9:22
  then you start and then The thing is, is hard and you say,
• 9:25
  you know what, I will be. I'll be happy if I I only end up
• 9:30
  competing or I'll be happy if I can just clinch #2 or #3 Every
• 9:35
  single Olympian who is there is given the best shot that they
• 9:38
  can to be #1 In fact, there's some people that clearly you can
• 9:43
  see that guy, this thing, you can make it, but he still gives
• 9:46
  it his best shot. You tried, you didn't make it,
• 9:50
  No problem. It doesn't make you a failure.
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  You learn some things along the way that you can leverage for
• 9:55
  future endeavours. So it's OK to shoot and to fail.
• 9:59
  It doesn't make you a failure. You don't have to keep
• 10:01
  redefining things. I mean, what would the Olympic
• 10:05
  sport look like if we have Olympians redefining what the
• 10:08
  goal of the Olympics is or what a successful athlete is supposed
• 10:12
  to be? These goals that we grew up
• 10:16
  with, they're fine. Just give it your best shot.
• 10:20
  If you fail, no problem. You are not a failure.
• 10:23
  You will learn some stuff that you can leverage for future
• 10:28
  endeavours and that's just life. In fact, Speaking of athletes,
• 10:32
  take Mike Jordan, you know, the hero.
• 10:35
  For those of us late 70s, early 80s kids, you know, Jordan was
• 10:39
  our guy. I was shocked to find out that
• 10:42
  Jordan, the thing that was on his mind was he wanted to play
• 10:45
  baseball. He wanted to die on that
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  baseball thing. When the coaches look, this
• 10:51
  baseball thing that you're chasing will amount to nothing.
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  Go and play basketball. He played basketball and he's
• 10:59
  now considered to be a legend. He's considered to be one of the
• 11:01
  greatest of all times. He retired from basketball and
• 11:05
  still tried to do that baseball thing, but the thing did not
• 11:08
  work. It's fine for you to say success
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  means what would be the best baseballer in the world.
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  It's OK, Chase the goal. If you achieve a good, people
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  will clap for you, clap for yourself.
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  If you don't achieve it, you will learn some things you can
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  leverage along the way. So somebody who wanted to be
• 11:26
  successful as a baseball player, guy who may come, but the thing
• 11:30
  that opened doors for him eventually was basketball but
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  will shift the goal posts. These things happen all the
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  time. I want to open ourselves.
• 11:39
  And these are small, small communities on WhatsApp,
• 11:41
  Facebook groups and all these things, you know, where we keep
• 11:43
  redefining the goal posts. Just aim for it.
• 11:46
  Sometimes these things seem big and they seem impossible.
• 11:49
  Like, OK, you want to make downloads and money and then you
• 11:51
  look at yourself, like, from where?
• 11:53
  You know, I'm from a lower middle class family, blah, blah,
• 11:57
  blah. My father is this, my mother is
• 11:58
  this, my level of education, I don't have access to finance,
• 12:01
  blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it seems like it's big.
• 12:03
  But if it's a worthy goal, go ahead, reach for it.
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  But we start redefining the goal posts.
• 12:10
  Now, this is another reason why I don't think we should be
• 12:13
  redefining the goal posts because a lot of people of these
• 12:17
  in these movements, so excuse me, especially people on the
• 12:21
  work end of things, they redefine goals.
• 12:25
  It sounds good. You follow them and you'll be
• 12:28
  playing with them. But then eventually they wake
• 12:30
  up, they get sense, and you know, by then they've misled
• 12:33
  you. Let me give one example.
• 12:35
  This one I was just doing with my wife, this lady Lizzo, the
• 12:39
  African American musician, pop musician.
• 12:41
  You know, nothing wrong with Lizzo.
• 12:42
  Like, I like her music. I battle her music.
• 12:45
  But The thing is, Lizzo was doing body positivity, body
• 12:47
  positivity, and the whole generation of children were
• 12:49
  following her body positivity, body positivity, living their
• 12:54
  life. Anyhow, now Lizzo has come to
• 12:57
  her senses. She's now flaunting the fact
• 13:01
  that she's on this magical weight loss journey and the last
• 13:05
  time I had her gist, she has lost 27 kilograms.
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  Now she's still big as per if you look at her like you know,
• 13:15
  she's still big like my size plus half kind of.
• 13:22
  But to lose 27 kilograms, almost no beans.
• 13:25
  I have 130 KG. I've been trying to see how I
• 13:28
  can just remove 5 kilograms and man, that's work.
• 13:32
  But I don't know how she did it. She has moved 27 kilograms.
• 13:35
  I mean, that's a whole human being.
• 13:37
  That's how heavy my baby is. I mean, my last born is 27 KG.
• 13:42
  So her brain has now reset. She's no longer shouting buzzy
• 13:46
  positivity. She's now losing weight.
• 13:49
  And so those of you who are following her on body positivity
• 13:52
  journey, like what are you going to do with your life now?
• 13:57
  Sure, shouting body positivity, you will redefine the goal like,
• 13:59
  yeah, I can be my truest me and being my best body and blah,
• 14:03
  blah, blah. What matters is that I'm happy
• 14:05
  in the body that I possess. OK, so now it turns out she
• 14:09
  wasn't happy after all in the body that she possesses.
• 14:11
  Those of you who are following her, So what what are you going
• 14:14
  to do now? Are you going to follow her now
• 14:16
  and then lose 27 KG or you're going to keep shouting body
• 14:19
  positivity? I'm happy in my body.
• 14:21
  Something, something, something, something.
• 14:25
  If for you, you think you'd like to remove 5 KG from your weight,
• 14:30
  you know, like me, or you want to remove 30 KG or whatever.
• 14:35
  Yeah, please go ahead. Of course, for these sorts of
• 14:38
  things, you know, like weight loss in particular, you know,
• 14:41
  you talk to your doctor because some things are realistic, some
• 14:44
  things are impractical, some things are infeasible and some
• 14:48
  things are not recommended. Because it's possible that maybe
• 14:51
  your ideal weight, if you do BMI, your ideal weight is maybe
• 14:55
  90 KG. When you insist you want to drop
• 14:58
  to 70 KG so you can look good. But meanwhile, from medical
• 15:01
  perspective, if you drop from 90 to 70, you're putting yourself
• 15:04
  in a whole heap of trouble. So comes up with your medical
• 15:08
  professional when it comes to some of these things.
• 15:10
  But really, if you're like some of us growing up and you thought
• 15:15
  a man had to look a certain way because I'm from that
• 15:18
  generation, you know, during my time, it was he man, he man
• 15:23
  Masters of the universe. And there was AWWE wrestling,
• 15:27
  you know, Hulk Hogan, who again, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker Mass
• 15:32
  mascara, who again, so you understand now like that was my
• 15:36
  generation. You grew up, you're big, you're
• 15:40
  buff, broad chest. You know, if you think that
• 15:44
  that's it for you, don't show. How about it just like I did.
• 15:49
  Anyway, let me not talk too much about myself.
• 15:50
  Anyway, I have strayed too much from the main thing and this
• 15:53
  supposed to be a business podcast, so I guess I shouldn't
• 15:58
  have gone on this right this morning.
• 15:59
  But bottom line, what I was trying to say was this, because
• 16:02
  it has implications for business.
• 16:03
  Whatever it is you think the goal is, is fine.
• 16:05
  Just aim for it. There's no point in redefining
• 16:07
  success. So if by the time you are
• 16:09
  growing up you are told that being successful means being a
• 16:12
  billionaire and you want to be successful, it's fine.
• 16:14
  Aim to be a billionaire, try to be a billionaire, hustle to be a
• 16:18
  billionaire. Do what needs to be done to
• 16:20
  become a billionaire within ethical bounds.
• 16:24
  But don't redefine the goal because The thing is hard.
• 16:27
  You start the game, you want to be a billionaire, and then it
• 16:29
  looks like it's hard. And then you now start saying
• 16:31
  that, look, so long as you know, just me and my wife and my kids
• 16:35
  and my children are happy, I'm fine.
• 16:39
  That is success for me. No, that is shifting the goal
• 16:42
  posts And that's, that's, that's giving up.
• 16:45
  Go ahead, continue. Try to be the billionaire, try
• 16:49
  to be the XYZ, try to be the whatever it is that you are
• 16:52
  taught that success is try and achieve everything.
• 16:55
  If you fail, it's not a problem. There are people who fail all
• 16:58
  the time. They don't consider themselves
• 17:00
  failures. Most important thing is you
• 17:02
  learn some things along the way that you can leverage to future
• 17:06
  endeavours. And it's always a period of
• 17:08
  growth. It always is.
• 17:11
  The Olympian who decided he's going to be #1 but never got
• 17:14
  there, but who still does, who still went ahead and tried to
• 17:17
  achieve, has probably learnt a lot of thing about discipline,
• 17:21
  about resilience, about focus, about self motivation, about,
• 17:27
  you know, all kinds of things. And they carry over into
• 17:30
  different aspects of life. Like when I was watching, was it
• 17:34
  Bloomberg or CNN, one of those things.
• 17:36
  And one of those Olympians was there who is now a successful
• 17:40
  billionaire. And he, he ties in some of the,
• 17:46
  the work ethic and the discipline and everything from
• 17:50
  his days training from the Olympiad, That's what made him
• 17:52
  successful in business. So he's one of those things.
• 17:55
  He doesn't consider himself to be a failed Olympian because he
• 17:59
  didn't carry gold. He didn't carry bronze, He
• 18:01
  didn't carry silver. You know, he's one of those guys
• 18:03
  that, you know, nobody remembers because he didn't.
• 18:05
  He didn't stand on the stage. You know, he's not a failure.
• 18:11
  He tried. He didn't make it.
• 18:13
  Oh, well, it happens. He learned some things along the
• 18:16
  way. He leveraged it into future
• 18:18
  endeavors. He's not a successful
• 18:20
  businessman, but at least he tried.
• 18:22
  He didn't shift the goal post. I say if only I can, if I
• 18:27
  qualify for my country, then that's enough.
• 18:30
  I don't have to be there on the Olympic stage.
• 18:32
  So please, let's stop all that crap.
• 18:35
  Especially since all the people on the walk and who are selling
• 18:37
  us these things, half the time they don't even know what
• 18:40
  they're doing. So all these body positivity
• 18:42
  people, I'm OK in my skin. I'm OK in my skin.
• 18:45
  That's what they're shouting for.
• 18:46
  Now. The next thing you now see them
• 18:49
  supermodel physique like what happened now.
• 18:52
  I thought you were OK in your own skin.
• 18:54
  And then you guys, you'll be following them.
• 18:56
  So please just aim for your goals, whatever it is.
• 19:02
  The goals in itself are fine. But yes, the world people are
• 19:05
  correct. Losing yourself in these goals,
• 19:08
  basing your whole self worth on these goals, Yeah, that's a
• 19:10
  problem. So the whole thing of if I don't
• 19:12
  become a billionaire by 30, then I will kill myself.
• 19:15
  OK, that's a problem. But because we're trying to
• 19:19
  avoid that other problem of tying ourself off to these
• 19:22
  goals, we start shifting the goal posts now.
• 19:25
  We're not. We're not doing ourselves a
• 19:27
  service anyway. This is your first time of
• 19:29
  listening to the podcast. Don't be afraid.
• 19:31
  This is not what we talk about here.
• 19:33
  This actually is a business podcast.
• 19:34
  This is a sales podcast. Before the Detour, we were
• 19:38
  actually talking about how to solve business problems,
• 19:41
  especially if you're having revenue issues that come from a
• 19:44
  lack of lead generation. Lead generation being you're
• 19:47
  getting people to raise their hand, to signify, to indicate,
• 19:50
  to do something that shows they might be interested in your
• 19:52
  product or your service. Those are the kinds of problems
• 19:55
  we're talking about. And in tomorrow's episode, we're
• 19:58
  going to get back on course and finish that discussion.
• 20:02
  So once in a while, I'll still come up here because I see
• 20:05
  something that pisses me off and then I make a podcast episode.
• 20:08
  But during tomorrow, we're going to get back to business.
• 20:10
  So that's it. Thank you very much for your
• 20:12
  time and attention. If you'd love to connect with me
• 20:14
  to explore opportunities for the future, call me 08064662140.
• 20:20
  The country code again is +234. You can connect with me on
• 20:22
  socials, LinkedIn in particular. My name is Tavi Shima Ayidi,
• 20:26
  That's the name to look for. So thanks for your time and
• 20:29
  attention. I'll catch you guys again at the
• 20:31
  next episode. Well, by the way, if you
• 20:32
  connect, please don't connect to discuss personal matters with
• 20:35
  me. I'm not a priest, I'm not a
• 20:36
  psychologist, I'm not a doctor. So sales, business, business
• 20:41
  development stuff, maybe marketing, sure, no problem.
• 20:45
  We can have those conversations. So I'll catch you guys tomorrow.