Latest / Not All Business / Safe Toilets, Fake Intros, and Why Nothing Good Happens After Midnight

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Safe Toilets, Fake Intros, and Why Nothing Good Happens After Midnight · Not All Business

• 0:00
  Welcome to Not All Business, a podcast by two former CEO's who
• 0:04
  went from competitors to friends.
• 0:05
  I'm Blakely Graham and my Co host is Heather Cooper, and
• 0:08
  we're joined by our producer Clay Cornell, who never met a
• 0:11
  free conference T-shirt he didn't take.
• 0:14
  Today we're tackling conference sticky situations, the awkward,
• 0:18
  the uncomfortable, and the Can you believe that just happened?
• 0:20
  Moments that nobody warned you about.
• 0:22
  When someone remembers you but you have no memory of meeting
• 0:25
  them. Or when your boss asked you for
• 0:27
  one more drink at midnight. Heather.
• 0:37
  Yes. It's Dreamforce time again.
• 0:40
  I know. You have to go.
• 0:44
  And I don't. Have to.
• 0:45
  I know, actually, you know what I know and I hate you for it,
• 0:50
  but you know what's fun is this is the first time that I'm going
• 0:53
  as like a client. Oh, you don't have to, like,
• 0:58
  sell some wares. Yeah, a lot less pressure.
• 1:01
  Yeah, there's no trade show booth.
• 1:03
  There's no. No booth, babe.
• 1:07
  I mean, what do you mean? Can we actually back up because
• 1:10
  all this is so interesting, but for people who don't know what
• 1:13
  Dreamforce is, what is Dreamforce?
• 1:16
  We can kind of assume it's a conference.
• 1:18
  So what is Dreamforce and how is it different than other
• 1:21
  conferences? That makes it unique.
• 1:24
  Well, as Blakely can attest, as one of those huge dorks with the
• 1:28
  gold jacket, why don't you explain what Dreamforce is
• 1:31
  first? Of all, I never had the gold
• 1:33
  jacket, I know, but being an MVP did get you certain benefits.
• 1:39
  So Dreamforce is like the Super Bowl for anyone who works in the
• 1:44
  Salesforce tech community. So, you know, there's a lot of
• 1:48
  industry conferences out there, and today we're going to be
• 1:50
  talking about conferences in general.
• 1:53
  And just like the situations you get into at conferences, it just
• 1:57
  so happens that Heather and I, along with our guests we'll
• 1:59
  bring on in a few minutes, have all been going to Dreamforce for
• 2:03
  years. Like Heather, when was your
• 2:05
  first Dreamforce? I don't know, it was too long
• 2:08
  ago to remember, but I will sell tell you that that for there's
• 2:13
  nothing like the first one because you're just walking
• 2:15
  around and it is exciting and basically Salesforce, Mark
• 2:19
  Benninghoff takes over. Is it like a square mile of San
• 2:23
  Francisco? It is a massive amount.
• 2:27
  It's. Yes, it's huge.
• 2:30
  To give some perspective, Clay, the first Dreamforce.
• 2:33
  Don't call this a humble brag. It's not bragging to go to
• 2:36
  Dreamforce. Just get it.
• 2:37
  Out half your life. I went to the second Dreamforce,
• 2:40
  that's my first one in 2004 and it was in a hotel ballroom.
• 2:44
  There was 1500 of us, including Marc Benioff and his then
• 2:48
  girlfriend, and it was a 1970s cover band and we were just in a
• 2:52
  ballroom and it was like luau themed.
• 2:55
  Fast forward to my last dream for so the year before my last
• 2:59
  one, and they had to rent a cruise ship to like put up in
• 3:05
  the dock because they didn't have enough hotels in the entire
• 3:10
  city. That's right to house all the
• 3:12
  guests. So there was like, I remember
• 3:14
  watching, I think Snoop Dogg on the cruise ship.
• 3:17
  It was crazy. So it's big.
• 3:19
  Yeah. It takes over the city.
• 3:21
  So they brought in a floating hotel.
• 3:23
  Yes. Basically, yeah.
• 3:25
  And by the way, San Francisco, they totally exploit this
• 3:30
  because any hotel that would, I mean, I'm talking dirty motels
• 3:34
  that are you? Know once we stayed in.
• 3:36
  Miles away from Moscone Center, there would normally be like 189
• 3:40
  a night or like 700 a night. They all just ramp up the
• 3:44
  prices. So when you were at Cloud Coach,
• 3:46
  did you have like a timer in you had to wake up in the middle of
• 3:50
  the night to be the first one to like, hit?
• 3:54
  Like. Register for the trade show
• 3:56
  because you needed a booth placement and you needed the
• 3:59
  hotels. And so it was like this
• 4:00
  stressful. We had alarm clocks in the
• 4:02
  middle of the night. We are trying to get everyone
• 4:04
  registered. Because so you submit your
• 4:07
  payment to have a booth, but then there later you have to
• 4:10
  like the first person to submit gets like first priority pick
• 4:13
  right on the floor. And that's a big deal because
• 4:16
  there are thousands of booths there and so thinking.
• 4:19
  Hotel is a huge. Deal.
• 4:21
  And I was like 1098 and then I did it and I was still like 14th
• 4:25
  in line. Oh, you need more friends?
• 4:28
  No, they said it was the server the like the our time zone
• 4:31
  server. I was like whatever did you
• 4:33
  ever? I'm surprised you even had to
• 4:35
  like get up in the middle of the night.
• 4:36
  Didn't they just have you on? So I think we're talking about
• 4:39
  two different things. Like I don't think we ever had
• 4:41
  to work for it for the booth, but we did have to work for it
• 4:43
  for lodging. It sounds like you're trying to
• 4:46
  get like tickets to like a concert or like, like so.
• 4:51
  Let's talk about that clay. We went from 1970s cover band in
• 4:55
  2004 to now. Oh yeah, who's playing with?
• 4:59
  Metallica for like the third time in a row?
• 5:01
  Come on. And Benson?
• 5:02
  Boone. Benson.
• 5:03
  Boone. Yeah.
• 5:04
  I don't. I don't know who.
• 5:05
  Would Macs is my favorite by far.
• 5:08
  Fleetwood Mac and pink. Those are my favorite.
• 5:11
  Pink is great. I like what's great.
• 5:13
  Fleetwood Mac as well. So Leon Bridges played one year.
• 5:16
  It's great. He's a good artist.
• 5:18
  That's a great. That's really good.
• 5:20
  Yeah, so I'm going this year and it's, I'm just going to walk
• 5:24
  around like I might even go see a session and I might, I know,
• 5:28
  Can you imagine, do some learning?
• 5:31
  I've got my sales and marketing team, the heads of the directors
• 5:34
  are both going to go for the first time.
• 5:35
  So it's kind of fun to see people come for the first time
• 5:38
  and see it through their eyes, so.
• 5:40
  I'm I'm looking. That is true.
• 5:41
  That is true. Yeah.
• 5:42
  Yeah. It's wild.
• 5:43
  So we've been doing this now. I don't know what remember date
• 5:47
  math 26 minus or is it 25? It's 25.
• 5:50
  It's more than date math. It's remembering what year it
• 5:52
  is, 25 to 2004. So I think we have some years of
• 5:57
  experience under our belt. Yeah.
• 5:59
  Heather, what would you say for listeners that it's their first
• 6:03
  Dreamforce? It's their first conference or
• 6:07
  like what? What would you recommend tips
• 6:08
  wise? What have you learned?
• 6:10
  Tips and tricks, Well, super practical things I would say as
• 6:15
  you're getting ready for Dreamforce or any big
• 6:17
  conference, First things first, what are you wearing on your
• 6:21
  feet? And as an executive woman, I
• 6:24
  always felt pressure to like still be in the heels and have,
• 6:28
  you know, the heels And then maybe tennis shoes in the bag,
• 6:30
  like walking back and forth. Forget it.
• 6:32
  Don't bring the heels. Don't even put them in your
• 6:34
  suitcase because it's the one place where you can executives
• 6:38
  are wearing all kinds of things. So if you want to stand out or
• 6:41
  you want to look funky, I would just get a really cute pair of
• 6:44
  sneakers, gold, bright color, fun and just super comfortable.
• 6:49
  And that's a good way to get through it.
• 6:51
  Just don't even try to wear heels.
• 6:53
  Yeah, I think that's especially for the young UNS that's think
• 6:56
  that they can still wear heels because they don't actually have
• 6:59
  bunions yet. That's just like save you from
• 7:01
  it. I got my bunions from
• 7:03
  Dreamforce. I don't have a bun.
• 7:06
  What is a? What if it is a bunion?
• 7:08
  I actually don't have bunions either, but I have bunion nuts.
• 7:10
  Same thing, just different size. That's worse.
• 7:14
  Like, is it like a rock on your foot?
• 7:16
  Why do I always share people, get them shaped down?
• 7:19
  You guys never share anything like this.
• 7:21
  I want to hear more about you guys.
• 7:23
  The only other words that I know for foot related stuff is corns
• 7:27
  and at this point I'm too like I don't know what it is and I'm
• 7:31
  it's too late I'm too afraid to ask what it is.
• 7:33
  I hate it. I hate stop it.
• 7:35
  I'm. Just saying for the 20 year old,
• 7:39
  20 something, they go to their first Dreamforce.
• 7:41
  They really want to make a good impression.
• 7:43
  They want to be cute. I remember at the first
• 7:45
  Metallica concert, we were at the bottom of the Moscone
• 7:48
  Center. And it was so bizarre because
• 7:51
  there was probably, I don't know, 2000 people there.
• 7:55
  And half of them were men and they're like bro outfits or
• 7:59
  suits. And the other half were women
• 8:01
  and they had like, their heels on, you know, and you're like,
• 8:05
  what are you ladies doing? So give it up for Marc Benioff
• 8:09
  who has like special designed tennis shoes made for him every
• 8:14
  single year that I think gave us all permission just to wear the
• 8:16
  tennis shoe so. Just wear the tennis shoe.
• 8:18
  Wear the tennis shoe. Also plug for.
• 8:22
  Do you guys ever follow Alison Felix?
• 8:24
  She's a Olympian, a runner. So she started a shoe company
• 8:27
  called Sage and they're super cute.
• 8:29
  See mice all tennis shoes and they have ribbons.
• 8:31
  She's got all different kinds, but she used she's the first
• 8:35
  Shoemaker to use female molds. What?
• 8:39
  Yes. All of these years we've gone on
• 8:43
  male what foot molds and then the female size is just two
• 8:48
  sizes smaller. So it's a man's fault I have
• 8:51
  bunions? Yes, that's no.
• 8:55
  But I'm saying it's a really good, it's a really good company
• 8:57
  and it's based on the female foot.
• 9:00
  So there you go anyway. That's my first one.
• 9:04
  Layers. You got to wear layers.
• 9:06
  The AC is all over the place. You can be hot, you're walking
• 9:09
  depending on the weather in San Francisco that day, but wherever
• 9:12
  and then you get in and you're a frigid cold.
• 9:15
  So layers, bigger purse, like kind of a backpack, not
• 9:19
  something too heavy. Don't over bring your tech.
• 9:21
  That kind of. That's another one that wasn't
• 9:24
  in my initial 5 but like pack is.
• 9:26
  Don't bring your. Tech as possible, don't if you
• 9:29
  can get away with an iPad if you want to take notes or even
• 9:31
  taking notes on your phone, but carting around your laptop if
• 9:35
  you don't have to is not worth it.
• 9:37
  And they have charging stations now everywhere.
• 9:39
  So don't even bring like your big heavy boosted battery.
• 9:41
  Like it's just not even necessary.
• 9:43
  Also about 1/4 of the booths give out chargers so if you
• 9:47
  forget one then you just go walk by a booth.
• 9:49
  And pick up if you forget your swag, you can get an ugly swag
• 9:52
  bag too so. You're all set.
• 9:54
  Yeah, exactly. OK, My number 3 is to get out of
• 9:59
  any session you're in or conversation that isn't helping
• 10:03
  you. And don't do it in an obnoxious
• 10:06
  way. Be careful where you sit unless
• 10:09
  you know 100% that this is going to be helpful, helpful for you.
• 10:13
  Always like plan an exit strategy because you have a
• 10:15
  limited amount of time. There's so much to choose from,
• 10:18
  and it's also easy to choose wrong.
• 10:20
  So if you find yourself sitting in a session that you're like,
• 10:23
  this isn't what I thought it was, just get up and leave you.
• 10:25
  Your time is so valuable. You've invested your time and
• 10:28
  your money to be there. So make that worth it.
• 10:31
  And then same thing that goes with conversations.
• 10:32
  This is a little more tricky. You can't just like look someone
• 10:34
  in the face and be like, you know, this isn't really helping
• 10:37
  me, but nice to meet you and move on.
• 10:38
  That's kind of rude. But find a way to exit as as
• 10:42
  quickly as possible because you can get really hung up by people
• 10:46
  who are just want to talk and talk and talk and waste your
• 10:48
  time and you're there to network, so stay in control of
• 10:51
  your networking. That is really funny because I
• 10:54
  just had my monthly girls card night last night and the host
• 10:59
  was telling us that she got stuck at the grocery store for
• 11:02
  30 minutes talking to this guy who I think was an older man and
• 11:10
  she couldn't, she never like got past the cheese counter for for
• 11:13
  30 minutes. And they started announcing the
• 11:16
  store closing and she's like, I got to get home and make the
• 11:19
  soup for this party tomorrow. She needs boundaries.
• 11:21
  She. Does but then my other friend at
• 11:24
  the at the card night, she's like what only you guys would
• 11:28
  like ever sit and get caught in a conversation for more than 30
• 11:31
  seconds. And so I think it's really easy
• 11:34
  for people and it's really hard for people.
• 11:36
  And I'm one of the people that I will get stuck in the 30 minute
• 11:39
  conversation. And I agree with you, Heather,
• 11:41
  you don't have that kind of time at a conference like this is
• 11:44
  about building your personal network.
• 11:46
  And so it is critical you figure out how to get out of those
• 11:49
  conversations in a way that's comfortable for you.
• 11:52
  Yeah, and also. Ready.
• 11:53
  Yeah, and I'm also very guilty of being like the old person
• 11:57
  talking to someone for 30 minutes, I'm sure where I'm like
• 11:59
  oblivious that the person in front of me is no longer
• 12:02
  interested. So I would say leave a good
• 12:04
  impression, be aware of, you know, how how's the person
• 12:07
  responding to you and are they maybe looking for a way out?
• 12:10
  Like be aware of that #4 real. Quick, I wanted I had one
• 12:16
  question about the vibe. So when you go to like a
• 12:20
  Symphony and you sit down in your seat and the Symphony
• 12:23
  starts playing, the ushers stop the doors.
• 12:26
  Like you can't come in and sit down while they're playing.
• 12:31
  You have to wait until the song's over.
• 12:33
  But it's, and I have this feeling like whenever I go
• 12:37
  somewhere, like I don't want to interrupt, like whatever's on
• 12:39
  stage, but it sounds like the vibe is totally different.
• 12:41
  So for people who are like, I'm concerned about what other
• 12:44
  people think, if I get up in the middle of someone speaking, is
• 12:46
  it rude? It sounds like that's the vibe
• 12:48
  you just people are in out moving.
• 12:50
  Around they're coming and going. I mean, you definitely the more
• 12:54
  popular sessions, especially the ones with like Matthew
• 12:56
  McConaughey or you know, whoever they have this year.
• 12:59
  Blakely, Graham, Blakely Graham. That's a really long line around
• 13:03
  the corner. Our guest today actually has a
• 13:05
  session. Oh yes, she does.
• 13:07
  Oh yeah. So excited I'm.
• 13:09
  Going to go to it, but yeah, so choose wisely and yeah, feel
• 13:13
  free. It's, it's the vibe is just very
• 13:15
  much all over the place there. Depends on the venue.
• 13:18
  There's big and small and like if you're in a small brick out
• 13:20
  room, I think it's a little less friendly to the speaker.
• 13:24
  And so I try to be sensitive and only go in episodes I can stay
• 13:28
  in. And they have occasionally
• 13:29
  they'll have ex president speak and you're not getting out of
• 13:33
  that one. So you better.
• 13:35
  Sure, if there's security or whatever, but you know what,
• 13:38
  just fake a phone call. Like, I mean, there's ways to
• 13:40
  like get up suddenly and just, you know, you just like pick
• 13:43
  your phone up and be like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
• 13:45
  And you like run out. You know, it's so funny that
• 13:47
  they, I remember there was an iPhone app, one of the first
• 13:51
  like early apps that would fake a phone call for you.
• 13:55
  So you could you and you could type in whoever it was going to
• 13:59
  be like whoever you wanted it to be that was calling you.
• 14:02
  So you could turn the screen around and show this person is
• 14:05
  calling me. Like my daughter, like I'm so.
• 14:07
  Sorry. And the example they used was a
• 14:09
  president. They're like, you can show that
• 14:12
  the president is calling you. Is it?
• 14:15
  What is it? It's no longer a thing.
• 14:16
  I mean, I'm sure it's still a thing, but it was like it was
• 14:19
  one of the first apps where you're like, Oh my gosh, I could
• 14:22
  totally use that. Well, you could use it for what
• 14:26
  was your second tip? The monopolizers like getting
• 14:28
  out of the monopolizing conversations.
• 14:30
  Who would you make it be? Who would you make it be?
• 14:33
  Like the president is too. Like, that's not real, but who
• 14:36
  is like? Mark a Dreamforce.
• 14:38
  It's got to be Mark, right? I don't know.
• 14:40
  I don't know. I don't know Marc Benioff.
• 14:43
  I've met him but. I kind of, I would want to do
• 14:47
  like Melinda Gates, I think French, Melinda, French Gates.
• 14:51
  You know her middle name? She puts it out there.
• 14:56
  I don't read the news. You don't know her, but is it?
• 14:58
  But that's yeah, I think that's kind of like could be.
• 15:01
  Could be. All right #4 is hydrate.
• 15:05
  Hydrate. We're on #4 hydrate, hydrate.
• 15:08
  I got cut off sorry I'm in hydrate.
• 15:10
  I got cut off for the vibe. Hydrate hydrate hydrate.
• 15:14
  Bring pack liquid IV yes drink one in the morning before like
• 15:18
  as you get up like what just hydrate all day long because
• 15:22
  you're talking to all day and regardless of whether you are
• 15:26
  you know engaging in substances that sounds.
• 15:32
  Crazy. Like what?
• 15:33
  What's substance? Just drinking like I don't, I
• 15:35
  know. I'm like, I've never done
• 15:37
  anything cool, OK, All I've ever done is drink.
• 15:40
  Never done anything. And I've smoked cigarettes like
• 15:42
  twice. You know when someone you know
• 15:44
  what? Someone who's never done
• 15:45
  anything cool, let's say. What?
• 15:48
  Be, you know, hydrated if you're partaking in substances.
• 15:53
  I know. Oh I did take an half of the
• 15:55
  Adderall once and I'm not ADD. It's getting worse.
• 16:00
  Move on. No, if you take Adderall and
• 16:03
  you're. Not that's not true Clay.
• 16:04
  They sell they sell conference specific or not conference
• 16:09
  Adderall conference festival, festival specific, like
• 16:12
  rehydration packets for for like drug users like that's a thing
• 16:16
  like supplements. So I don't know it's San.
• 16:20
  Francisco. You can get a great gift to like
• 16:23
  give to everyone on your team like hydration packs.
• 16:28
  You know, we did that one year at Cloud Coach.
• 16:30
  We did. We did Liquid Ivs for our little
• 16:33
  giveaway. Yeah, I guess it's a great one,
• 16:35
  yeah. We also made all of the booth
• 16:38
  people dress up like Foot Locker.
• 16:39
  They were not happy about it. It was they were supposed to be
• 16:42
  like referees, but they just looked like Foot Locker workers
• 16:45
  because we did the bright orange shoes.
• 16:47
  They were so upset. We made ours wear aprons.
• 16:51
  Aprons. They're like, oh terrible, what
• 16:55
  was it? It was actually, it was my
• 16:56
  favorite one. They were really handy.
• 16:58
  What was the? Why were we wearing aprons?
• 17:02
  I think that was maybe our first class onboarding theme.
• 17:06
  So the whole thing was first like, like first class.
• 17:09
  And so it was like we're first class servers, like on an
• 17:12
  airline. And it got turned out really
• 17:14
  well because you could put all your stuff in the pockets.
• 17:16
  And I still have mine. I love it.
• 17:18
  I actually do. You know who designed it as one
• 17:20
  of our previous guests? Cindy.
• 17:21
  So let's not knock it. She was awesome.
• 17:23
  That sounds like a great idea. I want to quick before you move
• 17:26
  to the last one because I think there's one more, right?
• 17:29
  Yes, one more. OK, so you're going to
• 17:30
  Dreamforce. Will you take a picture of the
• 17:33
  best and worst outfit and bring it back for another show and or
• 17:39
  maybe? Whichever ones you see.
• 17:40
  Old jackets. On well, I the infamous gold
• 17:44
  jacket. I don't know anything about it
• 17:46
  other than it's been mentioned twice on this show, but please
• 17:49
  take pictures of the best, like, you know, like coordinated
• 17:52
  outfits and bring them back. And then we can do like a poll
• 17:54
  on like Spotify and people can vote on like whichever one they
• 17:58
  think is the best or worst. OK, I love that, yes, I I can do
• 18:01
  that. All right.
• 18:02
  I'm also going to be recording live from Dreamforce next week
• 18:04
  too on the time floor. OK #5 do not skip the parties.
• 18:12
  Do not skip the parties. No, I knew you were going to
• 18:14
  disagree with me, and I can see by your face you're disagreeing
• 18:17
  with me. I don't think you should skip
• 18:19
  the parties. I think that is where true
• 18:20
  connection happens because the people are letting their guard
• 18:24
  down. They're stopping to have all
• 18:25
  the, because they're drunk conversations.
• 18:28
  Yeah, because they're, you know, they're taking this lessons.
• 18:33
  I think I'm going to save my rebuttal for the full show.
• 18:36
  Thank you very much. OK, that's fine.
• 18:38
  Well, in my experience, you know, you make a a lifelong
• 18:42
  friend when you're, you know, like this, like swing back and
• 18:45
  forth in the piano bar singing at the top of your lungs to like
• 18:48
  a Backstreet Boys song. To have you.
• 18:50
  Remember those people. Yes.
• 18:52
  And I do think you need to remember, like whether you're
• 18:55
  there with your company or you're selling or you're a
• 18:58
  vendor or your partner, the connections you make at these
• 19:02
  conferences could actually represent your next job, your
• 19:05
  job in 15 years, your job in 20 years.
• 19:07
  So building a personal network, I think should be everyone's
• 19:11
  goal. So I do agree with you, this is
• 19:13
  where you want to figure out how you can make those connections.
• 19:17
  Yeah, and it's good for a bribery because I did video one
• 19:21
  of a a like a. You're going to have to edit
• 19:26
  this out, Clay, because I hate when I can't remember things.
• 19:29
  It's like a. Client No, it's just boring on
• 19:32
  the air for people. But it's real.
• 19:35
  A prospect. That's the word I'm looking for.
• 19:38
  Who got so drunk he rolled out into the street?
• 19:42
  He's tripped. We were a big group of us were
• 19:44
  walking out and he tripped and he was so drunk he rolled out
• 19:48
  into the street and I stopped him from getting hit by a car.
• 19:52
  Like I ran out. I did, and believe me, that came
• 19:55
  up at renewal time and when we were talking about getting him
• 19:58
  on, I was like, remember when I did save your life?
• 20:01
  So things like that can happen too.
• 20:03
  Because that's how you want to win the deal.
• 20:05
  Hey, whatever it takes, OK? I didn't really think you should
• 20:09
  go to this party. Go to this party.
• 20:12
  You'll either be you. Might save someone's life.
• 20:14
  You might save someone's life. There you go.
• 20:16
  That's good. All right.
• 20:17
  So that's just a few of the top things that come right off the
• 20:20
  top of my head to make your conference a success.
• 20:23
  And we're going to get into even more interesting things about
• 20:27
  conferences with our guest. I'm so excited.
• 20:29
  Let's bring her on. Blakely, do we have?
• 20:32
  All right, So today's guest is Stephanie Betters.
• 20:35
  She's a SAS founder, a real estate investor, a former, let
• 20:39
  me get this straight, cardiothoracic nurse
• 20:43
  practitioner. Stop it.
• 20:45
  I know, right? And the person who first
• 20:47
  suggested Heather and I meet, which either makes her genius,
• 20:50
  are responsible for unleashing all this on the world.
• 20:54
  She's a conference veteran, a Dreamforce veteran who knows
• 20:57
  exactly what happens when conferences get sticky.
• 21:00
  So Stephanie, welcome to Not All Business.
• 21:07
  Hi everyone. Blakely here.
• 21:09
  This episode of Not All Business is brought to you by yours
• 21:12
  truly, where strategist Cindy Forgard helps growth minded
• 21:15
  leaders navigate pivotal moments with confidence.
• 21:19
  I worked with Cindy when I was CEO of Taskray and she's what I
• 21:22
  call ACEO Whisperer. She helped us execute a complete
• 21:26
  brand pivot, boosted me up as a leader, and set us up to hit
• 21:30
  aggressive growth targets that led to our successful exit.
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• 21:38
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  Yours truly provides the strategic guidance you need.
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• 21:49
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  mention Not all business for complimentary strategy
• 21:56
  consultation. OK, back to the show.
• 22:03
  Hey, thanks for having me. Well, thanks for making this
• 22:07
  whole thing possible. I'm so excited to see both of
• 22:11
  you on screen together. This is.
• 22:13
  Epic. Well, you're right.
• 22:15
  Yeah. Well, we first met so M&A firm
• 22:19
  equity advisors, Yep, have worked with both.
• 22:22
  They did my deal. I don't know if they did your
• 22:23
  deal or if there was a relation. We were talking about a deal, so
• 22:26
  I'm. Talking about it, OK.
• 22:28
  And so they suggested that we meet and it was tough because at
• 22:32
  the, I mean, especially Dreamforce, like you're meetings
• 22:35
  all day long and it's hard to like fit that in and schedule.
• 22:38
  And so we just grabbed, we were like, I think we've got half an
• 22:40
  hour and we have found this coffee shop to meet at.
• 22:43
  And so it was quick. We definitely overstayed.
• 22:45
  I know we we stayed there a lot longer, but connected
• 22:48
  immediately. It was so much fun.
• 22:50
  And yeah, she was the one who said, do you know Blakely?
• 22:53
  You know Blakely Graham, right? I mean, obviously I was like,
• 22:56
  no, I do not. It was so great.
• 22:59
  It was so great. It was like found family, you
• 23:01
  know, and like you meet just your people and you're like,
• 23:03
  wow, you're my people. This is fantastic.
• 23:05
  And then you reminded me so much of Blakely.
• 23:08
  I was like, wait, you're both in Colorado cloud coach Taskbay do
• 23:11
  not know each other. I'm like, you have to meet.
• 23:13
  You're going to. You're going to love each other.
• 23:15
  I'm going to. Intro Yeah, it was so great.
• 23:18
  It was so. Great, so now everyone has to
• 23:20
  hit pause. Go listen to episode 5 where we
• 23:22
  like pick up on exactly that story.
• 23:24
  Stephanie so smiled. Small world.
• 23:28
  And then, well, how did you 2 meet?
• 23:31
  Mike Davis. Mike Davis, Yeah.
• 23:33
  Mike. Davis.
• 23:34
  OK, he's. Another another found family
• 23:38
  like experience with both him and and you like it's like this
• 23:42
  is yeah, it's it's great. And who also also coincidentally
• 23:47
  played a little bit in US finding this podcast because he
• 23:49
  has a very successful podcast called How We Got There in the
• 23:53
  sales force Ecosystem. And the very first time.
• 23:56
  Well, OK, so it was our second date, Blakely.
• 23:59
  We met for lunch and then you invited me over to your house,
• 24:02
  which I thought was a little. On a second date.
• 24:05
  I know I was like, already. And you were like, yeah.
• 24:08
  I think you said I'm going to be in the area.
• 24:10
  Can I come? Over.
• 24:12
  It was probably something desperate like that.
• 24:14
  Anyway, I came over your house and then just so happened that
• 24:17
  Mike Davis, who by the way was in the middle of like a six
• 24:20
  month tour around the world like break happened to be in town
• 24:24
  that day, called and said, can I stop by?
• 24:27
  And then crazy, we're brainstorming podcast stuff.
• 24:30
  So meant to be all around. Meant to be, meant to be.
• 24:34
  And I guess this shows the biggest benefit of conferences
• 24:37
  like we've all been there and networked through and you get to
• 24:41
  meet your found family and some of these connections I've had
• 24:44
  for 2025 years, so. Yeah, so important just to get
• 24:49
  out there because it can be a little bit awkward too,
• 24:51
  especially if you're, like, getting it was kind of like a
• 24:52
  blind date with Heather, right? Like tech equities like, oh,
• 24:55
  she's a great female founder, You just got to meet her.
• 24:57
  I'm like, OK, right. And you just got to break the
• 25:00
  ice really quick and get in different rooms and meet new
• 25:03
  people. And it's such a great
• 25:04
  opportunity to do that at these conferences.
• 25:06
  Did you have like the thing on your phone to like get a call
• 25:09
  out in case you? Totally doing well.
• 25:11
  I would have been like, I gotta go.
• 25:13
  I I would have pulled my I got AP and then just.
• 25:17
  Goes right that's a good one that's a good one that's a good
• 25:19
  exit never so Stephanie, can you just talk us through a little
• 25:25
  bit on you just do not hear the story of someone being.
• 25:31
  A. Cardiothoracic nurse
• 25:33
  practitioner. First of all, nurse practitioner
• 25:36
  is a big effing deal. Like you went to school for a
• 25:38
  long time, then you added cardio cardiac surgery to it.
• 25:42
  So I feel like you invested a lot in your life to be a very
• 25:46
  specific thing. And now I, I would say you're a
• 25:50
  hands down the best CEO in the business.
• 25:52
  So what happened? Like how did you get there?
• 25:54
  It's a little generous, but. No, it's not.
• 25:56
  It's so true. It's, it's wild how life just
• 26:02
  kind of takes you on a journey and I think it's important to be
• 26:04
  maybe open minded when it does so.
• 26:06
  But I never intended to be a founder.
• 26:09
  Actually both my parents are entrepreneurs and they never
• 26:13
  encouraged me to do anything like that at all.
• 26:16
  My dad started a computer hardware company and I remember
• 26:20
  being a little girl and him selling Kilo bytes across the
• 26:24
  ocean, like packing like kilo. But now we're I don't even know
• 26:27
  what kind of bites we're in now. But anyway, so and then my mom
• 26:31
  was self-employed interior designing and stuff.
• 26:34
  So I went to nursing school, met my husband our junior year,
• 26:39
  which again, very much out of the blue had a very like, I was
• 26:43
  19 years old and I with certainty when I met him where I
• 26:47
  was, we're both volunteer EMT's. It was really dorky.
• 26:49
  I was really into it. He was like, OK, into it.
• 26:53
  And we met, we met like in the squad room or whatever.
• 26:56
  I was wearing crazy cargo pants and like, it just was not
• 27:00
  attractive. And he, he was like, yes, right.
• 27:03
  Anyway, so I met him really young and an undergrad and then,
• 27:06
  you know, we graduated and I started working as a nurse and I
• 27:09
  was like, Dang it, I should have gone to Med school, right?
• 27:13
  So, so I was like, what do I do? I just got married now and I
• 27:16
  want to have babies and how do I balance all this?
• 27:19
  And it's like, OK, I can't like put all that on hold right now,
• 27:23
  so I'll go to NP school. So applied, got into NP school
• 27:27
  and my husband got into PA school at the same time and he
• 27:30
  was kind of had the same internal battle, like what is he
• 27:32
  going to do? So we went off to to school
• 27:34
  together and kind of right prior to leaving school, we had this
• 27:39
  like 2 year gap. We were both working and this
• 27:42
  was 2000 and seven, 2008. So we just got married and we
• 27:45
  had bought a house. And back then buying a
• 27:48
  foreclosed house sounded like a great idea.
• 27:51
  Like HGTV was doing its thing. And it's like you buy a
• 27:54
  foreclosed house and you just make a bunch of money.
• 27:55
  It's so easy, right? So we bought a crazy house and.
• 27:59
  Never have I said anything like that.
• 28:01
  Ever, by the way. I was.
• 28:05
  Like no problem, but OK. Whatever.
• 28:08
  So we moved in this house and we we lived in it as we flipped it
• 28:12
  and I was like petrified to do this.
• 28:14
  He was like, no, it's going to be fine.
• 28:15
  We can totally do it. OK.
• 28:16
  So we this is. Before kids, before kids, like
• 28:19
  we were just newly married, right, like in this kind of like
• 28:22
  these gap years before grad school and we we flipped it.
• 28:26
  It was a crazy project that we like, we didn't have doors in
• 28:29
  our house for the first year of our marriage.
• 28:30
  Like it was weird, OK, it was like real weird.
• 28:36
  And, and then, then we, then we sold it right after, right
• 28:40
  before the crash, like 2 weeks after we sold it was the O8
• 28:43
  crash. And it was a nightmare.
• 28:44
  And we just got out and that's at the total peak and then went
• 28:48
  off to grad school. And so we were, we were in grad
• 28:50
  school doing our thing and my husband was like, well, let's do
• 28:52
  that again. Let's buy more.
• 28:54
  Let's do this real estate thing while we still go to school.
• 28:57
  And I was like, you know what? While we after we graduate, I
• 28:59
  was like, I'm not to. School, but like a medical
• 29:02
  school, like let's just let's. Seriously I thought adding a
• 29:05
  puppy was hard. You guys are like.
• 29:07
  Could you, did you come up with like, I'll do it again, but if
• 29:10
  we have doors this time, like little things like.
• 29:12
  That Well, at least on the bathroom.
• 29:15
  Now, I was pregnant in grad school and trying to like work,
• 29:18
  go to school, pregnant, newborn, all this stuff.
• 29:20
  So I was like, we're going to rent, We're going to rent, but I
• 29:23
  will do it again in the future because we made good money off
• 29:26
  that deal and like it kind of banked us through grad school,
• 29:29
  you know, So it was like, we can do it again, but I can, I will
• 29:32
  never live in a flip ever again. So when we figure it out, I
• 29:35
  thought we've got to be able to afford it where we're living and
• 29:38
  then buy an investment property. No more house hacking.
• 29:40
  Like we've got a kid now and I just can't.
• 29:42
  So we moved to Charlotte specifically because of the real
• 29:46
  estate market and there was really great jobs in in medicine
• 29:50
  and we worked for a few years was like five years before we
• 29:56
  bought our first rental property.
• 29:57
  I had two more children. So now we had three young
• 29:59
  babies. I got like my dream job working
• 30:02
  in heart surgery. I was like, this is it?
• 30:04
  I'm so like, I'm so happy. And my husband's like, we got to
• 30:06
  do the real estate thing. Remember I was like, Oh my God,
• 30:09
  we have so much school debt. We just got our jobs like, how
• 30:13
  are we going to do this, you know?
• 30:14
  And so we, we started our business at $20,000 in home
• 30:18
  equity, like a home equity line of credit.
• 30:20
  And I was like, this is an extreme amount of money.
• 30:22
  Oh my God. But I was like, OK, but at least
• 30:24
  if, if it all blows up, we still live in our house and we still
• 30:27
  have some equity because you can't lend against 100%.
• 30:30
  So I was like, OK, this is the risk I'm willing to take.
• 30:32
  And then we bought our first rental and the world didn't
• 30:34
  explode and everything was fine. And then we started looking for
• 30:39
  more properties. And I'm, we're both working full
• 30:41
  time and we have the kids. And I kind of fell in love with
• 30:44
  building a company and building systems and hiring people.
• 30:48
  And we are really forced to do that because we are so busy in
• 30:51
  our careers. And I was on call 72 hours in a
• 30:55
  row and I couldn't take phone calls.
• 30:56
  I was at the hospital because obviously I'm taking care of
• 30:58
  dying people. And so I was really forced to
• 31:01
  create systems and, and grow that.
• 31:04
  So my husband was ACEO and I was a COO and we thought a few years
• 31:08
  with like spreadsheets and like cobbling systems together.
• 31:11
  And then we just kind of hit the ceiling where we were spending a
• 31:13
  ton of money on marketing and we were doing deals and we had team
• 31:16
  members, but we had additional systems pain.
• 31:19
  And like there was no hub. And the way I thought about it
• 31:22
  was like in medicine, we have a electronic medical record,
• 31:27
  right? Like that's where all the labs
• 31:28
  go and the notes go and everyone's working off one
• 31:31
  thing. But we didn't have that.
• 31:33
  So like, this is wild. Like we need a CRM.
• 31:35
  Like let's go find a CRM for real real estate, for real
• 31:37
  estate investors. And because we it's.
• 31:40
  What is the CRM? A customer relationship
• 31:44
  management tool. Thank you.
• 31:46
  So you're welcome. So I went off to look for one
• 31:50
  because real estate investors are, it's like a niche within a
• 31:53
  niche. Like it's real estate and
• 31:54
  there's some things that are, you know, relevant that agents
• 31:57
  do. But it's different for investors
• 31:59
  because we were marketing to homeowners directly and trying
• 32:01
  to get them to sell and see if they'd be interested in selling.
• 32:04
  And it was a little bit of a different motion than agents.
• 32:07
  So I couldn't find a tool that worked.
• 32:09
  So then I heard about Salesforce and I was like, OK, let's see
• 32:13
  what Salesforce is about. And I was super naive.
• 32:16
  Like I had, no, I had no idea what to expect.
• 32:19
  I just knew I had this problem to solve.
• 32:20
  So Salesforce was the number one CRM, OK.
• 32:23
  I entered into the sales process with them and it was horrifying,
• 32:27
  to be honest. I had a million discovery calls.
• 32:35
  You have like 6 AES assigned to your account.
• 32:39
  Yeah, it was, it was ridiculous. We had a 1,000,000 people on
• 32:42
  this call an. Account executive.
• 32:44
  Executive. OK.
• 32:45
  A salesperson. Yeah.
• 32:47
  And they know nothing about real estate investing.
• 32:49
  They know nothing about me or my company.
• 32:51
  And and like we had eight hour long calls together where I'm
• 32:55
  just trying to explain what it is that I want and like what I'm
• 32:57
  picturing this tool for and all this, all this, all this.
• 33:00
  And then we get to the last call and there are a billion people
• 33:03
  on this call. I don't know who these people
• 33:05
  are. And now I think they're probably
• 33:07
  solution engineers and partners and you know, RVP or whoever,
• 33:11
  there was a million people and they give, they present this
• 33:13
  beautiful slide deck and I'm like, I'm, I'm screwed.
• 33:17
  This last slide is going to be very expensive, right?
• 33:20
  There's so many people on this call and essentially what they
• 33:23
  unfurled was $1,000,000 launch plan like and the, and the first
• 33:29
  part was going to be 6 months to build before I could even log
• 33:32
  into the system and that would cost $100,000.
• 33:35
  That was phase one and then be phase two and da da da da and I
• 33:38
  and they, and they said all this with a straight face and I was
• 33:41
  like flabbergasted. Like what do you, what do you
• 33:45
  mean? I have like 8 people on my team.
• 33:47
  I can't pay for that. Like what is Salesforce
• 33:49
  out-of-the-box? Like what?
• 33:50
  Why is this so complicated? Why is this so difficult?
• 33:53
  And they just kind of laughed. Like, I honestly just laughed at
• 33:56
  me. And I was like, how hard can
• 33:57
  this be? You know, like what, what is
• 33:59
  this? And I was like, and I was real
• 34:02
  pissed off. Like I was real.
• 34:04
  I was, yeah. They're wasting so much of your
• 34:06
  time. It was so much time to get there
• 34:08
  and have no expectation on like what they were going to say and
• 34:10
  then to like just throw this number out to the small company.
• 34:14
  Like it was just, I was just, I was just melting down on this
• 34:16
  call and like, how hard can this be?
• 34:19
  I'll just build it myself. Yeah.
• 34:21
  Did you say that? I did and and then somebody on
• 34:24
  the call said, well, well, that's.
• 34:26
  Cute did not. So I was like, you can go to
• 34:33
  hell. Everyone cares that like I was
• 34:35
  like, I didn't. I didn't say I didn't tell them
• 34:37
  to go to hell on the call. I wish I did, but I was just
• 34:39
  like, well, now I'm really gonna do it, you bastard.
• 34:42
  Yeah. Yeah, you did.
• 34:43
  So I freaking hung up that call and I went, I went to Zach, my
• 34:46
  husband and I was like, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna F and do
• 34:48
  it. So good for you.
• 34:51
  I'm gonna figure this out. And I was so furious that I
• 34:54
  taught myself how to code and built this and it took me like
• 34:58
  100 hours straight about 3 months of like late night.
• 35:02
  This is. Before AI, everyone.
• 35:04
  This is before you could vibe code with AI.
• 35:06
  This is like legit code. I wish I.
• 35:09
  Just learned about vibe coding last week.
• 35:12
  It's a thing. It is a real thing.
• 35:15
  So it was. And then all the Salesforce
• 35:16
  courses were really expensive, right?
• 35:19
  Like they were like, they're like $5000 to take a course.
• 35:21
  Like I think you get one free at dreamforce though for all the
• 35:24
  listeners I. Don't think it was just.
• 35:27
  It was wild. You get a test free, that's what
• 35:29
  it is. I don't know, it was expensive
• 35:31
  at the time. And I was again, like just so
• 35:33
  turned off by like, like, what is this?
• 35:36
  And so I just watched old YouTube videos from like
• 35:38
  Salesforce Classic and I bought a Udemy course and I was like,
• 35:42
  how I can figure this out? We can do this.
• 35:45
  And. And I was just you.
• 35:47
  Built a company. Yeah, yeah.
• 35:50
  And but I didn't mean to because then we launched for for Better
• 35:53
  Path Homes, the real estate investment company and like we
• 35:55
  were live like 3 or so months later.
• 35:58
  And then the Salesforce AE that was on these calls followed up
• 36:01
  with me and was like, hey, did you give up?
• 36:03
  Like do you want help with the developer?
• 36:05
  And I was like, Nope, I'm good. I've I've launched.
• 36:07
  Thank you. It took me 3 months.
• 36:08
  I did it myself, you know. Yes.
• 36:12
  Thank you so much. But Take Me Out of your drip
• 36:13
  sequence. And she said, well, can I see
• 36:17
  it? And I was like, I guess you can.
• 36:19
  I'll show it to you. And then, you know, whatever, we
• 36:21
  can move on. So I showed it to her and she
• 36:24
  was like, this is something. Do you know that?
• 36:28
  And I was like, what do you mean?
• 36:30
  This is something she's like, I'm going to come up to
• 36:32
  Charlotte, you know, I want to meet you and I want to talk more
• 36:36
  about what you built. So I was like, OK, so she comes
• 36:39
  up from Atlanta. She was in Atlanta office.
• 36:42
  And she's like, you know, try to sell me other things.
• 36:45
  Yes, OK, fine. But now I'm like interested,
• 36:48
  right? Like what do you need?
• 36:48
  She's like, have you ever thought about being a partner?
• 36:51
  It's like, I don't know what that means.
• 36:53
  What's the partner, you know? And so she now I know like she
• 36:55
  introduced me to like decision makers essentially right away.
• 36:59
  And it was like, hey, you know, people who come through the
• 37:02
  ecosystem that are real estate, they all get super upset because
• 37:05
  there's no solution for them and it's really, really expensive.
• 37:08
  I think what you built they should, they should know about
• 37:12
  and would you be willing to bring it to market.
• 37:14
  And I was like, OK, well, if that's what we, if that's what
• 37:17
  we can do, then this is what I want.
• 37:19
  And so I just kind of told them like this is the setup that I
• 37:21
  want and what I want to be able to sell and how I want to go to
• 37:23
  market. And Fast forward a couple months
• 37:26
  later to to January 2020, I had an OEM agreement and launched on
• 37:32
  the app exchange. I can ask.
• 37:33
  You if it was OEM or ISP, you sell both or.
• 37:37
  Now I sell both. Now you sell both.
• 37:39
  Now this. Place can make you define those.
• 37:42
  Yeah. So outside equipment
• 37:44
  manufacturer I think is like. The OEM, the.
• 37:47
  Initial term. Gold term where like your
• 37:50
  product is embedded in another product.
• 37:52
  Essentially, yeah. OK, you know, it's so crazy
• 37:54
  sometimes with these acronyms. You tell me what it means and I
• 37:57
  still don't understand. It's yeah, that one you can
• 38:00
  gloss. Over.
• 38:01
  OK, then what's the other one? The IS.
• 38:04
  Independent software vendor, vendor vendor OK.
• 38:08
  You're like reselling essentially or yeah, you're.
• 38:11
  Giving them a cut of every dollar you make, Remember, it's
• 38:13
  the tax. It's what Blakely didn't have to
• 38:16
  pay for her. First X.
• 38:18
  Number of years. OK, Yeah, gotcha.
• 38:21
  So both sorry, not don't mean to derail you sell both now.
• 38:25
  Do you stay in touch with that Salesforce AE from Atlanta that
• 38:30
  I just, I think that's really unique.
• 38:32
  Right. I sent her a message on LinkedIn
• 38:35
  a couple years ago and I was like, hey, I just want to let
• 38:37
  you know because we like lost touch and she moved.
• 38:39
  You know how that happens like they get promoted in every
• 38:41
  corner yes. So she was no longer my AE like
• 38:44
  basically right after. And I wrote to her and I said, I
• 38:47
  just want to let you know, like what you did changed everything.
• 38:50
  Like I don't know why. I don't know why you did that.
• 38:52
  Like especially because I literally had a meltdown on this
• 38:55
  call. Like I was not polite, but.
• 38:57
  Maybe that's why she. Got nothing out of it and except
• 39:01
  for helping you, which I think is awesome, you don't meet that
• 39:04
  many AES. Yeah, and that right.
• 39:07
  And that's what turned it around for me because I went from
• 39:09
  having like a kind of a bad taste in my mouth, right.
• 39:11
  And like, this is crazy. It's not for like small
• 39:14
  businesses. And I'm like feel so frustrated
• 39:16
  with the sales process and like, what is Salesforce doing to
• 39:19
  them? Like, wait, there's internal
• 39:21
  evangelists And like, this girl just just plucked me and helped
• 39:25
  me for literally no reason. Not for.
• 39:27
  She got no benefit out of that. It was just kind and the, the
• 39:30
  more I got into the Salesforce ecosystem now like this Ohana
• 39:36
  thing is real. It actually is real.
• 39:38
  Like I, I have met a lot of incredibly kind people who have
• 39:43
  no reason to help me that have helped me.
• 39:46
  And now I'm like, I've drank the kool-aid.
• 39:47
  I am all in Kool. Aid, It's really interesting to
• 39:51
  track it back because if you think about where Salesforce got
• 39:54
  its start, we were all using Oracle and SAP and all these are
• 39:58
  like AS 400 machines right to. And you would have to call your
• 40:02
  IT department for a feature request and it would take weeks,
• 40:06
  if not months, if not years or millions of dollars to kind of
• 40:09
  get that fixed or get that in place for you.
• 40:11
  And what Salesforce did that I think absolutely blew up, blew
• 40:17
  up the world back whenever they started.
• 40:19
  What was that 99? They put all the power into a
• 40:22
  business user's hands so a business user could administer
• 40:27
  their their own system. And so people like you,
• 40:30
  Stephanie, could sit there and be like, I have a problem, I
• 40:33
  need to solve it. And they gave you the tools to
• 40:35
  solve it. And what that did was have this
• 40:37
  like little company plant the seed that empowered like just
• 40:43
  the regular workers like us to be able to create like different
• 40:48
  destinies for their companies. And it created a cult in in the
• 40:52
  positive sense of the world. There's like negatives around it
• 40:54
  too. Like, I'm kind of glad to be
• 40:56
  done, but at the same time, there's just a whole persona of
• 41:01
  people that like grew up together learning how to do this
• 41:05
  through empowerment. So I guess that's a genius thing
• 41:08
  that Salesforce did and I love it.
• 41:10
  I love that they did it. Well, the buzzword is it's the
• 41:13
  most customizable platform on the planet, right?
• 41:15
  I mean, that's what they're always saying in all those sales
• 41:17
  meetings and things. But the truth is, like, even for
• 41:19
  what I'm doing right now at the law firm, that doesn't exist
• 41:22
  like that. I mean, initially I went to the
• 41:24
  app Exchange, which is it's like the Apple Store for Salesforce
• 41:27
  Clay. You just go on and kind of can
• 41:29
  search, does this already exist? And it didn't.
• 41:31
  And so then we're kind of customizing it for the specific
• 41:35
  instance of the law firm and you can't help it but look at it and
• 41:39
  be like, could we sell this? You know, because by the time
• 41:41
  you end up like figuring it all out and we've got bits and
• 41:44
  pieces of here, you do end up with this product and you know,
• 41:47
  other people benefit from it, so.
• 41:49
  Super empowering. Yeah.
• 41:50
  And I love that Salesforce, instead of saying show me and
• 41:56
  then going and building it themselves and feeling that they
• 42:01
  enabled you to say, OK, why don't you be a partner and then
• 42:04
  started pointing people toward you.
• 42:05
  And I think that's the Ohana piece where it's like, OK, so
• 42:08
  we're all in this together versus I'm going to go build it.
• 42:11
  And then wow, I will also say Salesforce, Salesforce is your
• 42:14
  biggest threat and I will say that to any ISV public.
• 42:18
  But they'll they'll go out and make their own and then.
• 42:21
  Yeah, they've done it millions of times.
• 42:22
  Yeah, they do it. They want Stephanie to be
• 42:25
  successful. They wanted you to be
• 42:27
  successful. They want me to be successful.
• 42:29
  Yeah, and I don't know, not so much you if you.
• 42:33
  Can't like do OEMAISVI get it, but please one of those people
• 42:39
  at at the conference that gets like the free pass for free Expo
• 42:42
  day and just comes in it's. Like in my swag.
• 42:45
  Collectors, you know what I mean?
• 42:46
  I hated that day. It was always on Wednesday
• 42:49
  night. Why?
• 42:50
  Why am I the worst person at the conference?
• 42:53
  How did I get pinned as like the joke of the conference?
• 42:57
  I didn't even get invited and now you're inviting me.
• 42:59
  But you're like, actually, you're kind of like on dweeb
• 43:01
  day, like you're kind. Of like, we're not even scanning
• 43:04
  your badge, we can just tell just by looking.
• 43:06
  At you it was the. Worst.
• 43:07
  Not even worse. It's like, Oh no, you'd be a
• 43:09
  booth, babe. You'd be a booth.
• 43:11
  He's the higher. You'd be a great booth, babe.
• 43:13
  Yeah. Yeah, I've worked at a few
• 43:15
  conferences before we. Should start talking about the
• 43:17
  conferences. We should actually.
• 43:21
  Those little babe is one of my sticky situations I have in line
• 43:26
  for us today. Oh, wait, my.
• 43:27
  Before we move on to the conference, I do have a question
• 43:29
  for Stephanie. Are you tired?
• 43:35
  Well, it took me a couple years, but I did end up leaving
• 43:37
  medicine. So this is what I do full time
• 43:39
  now. I don't recommend doing all the
• 43:41
  things at once, which I did. And I had a really hard time
• 43:45
  with chapters and like saying goodbye to these things that
• 43:48
  I've done right, like I wanted to do them all.
• 43:50
  I had a really, really, really hard time with, with leaving and
• 43:53
  even like leaving my position at, at better path homes and
• 43:56
  like closing things up. I, I have a hard time with
• 43:59
  trappers. I think in my life like I, I, it
• 44:01
  was so hard to stop having kids. Like I still want more, more
• 44:04
  bait like I have a hard time with trappers.
• 44:06
  But I let go and it was good. And now I'm not so tired
• 44:10
  anymore. Now I sleep.
• 44:12
  I didn't sleep for like 20 years because I was on call or working
• 44:15
  like something. So now I sleep at least 8 hours
• 44:19
  a night and it's glorious. Good, good, like a walk in the
• 44:22
  park now. Yeah, what the heck?
• 44:25
  I was tired just listening to it.
• 44:27
  I was like, how is she doing all of this?
• 44:31
  Rage. It's rage coding.
• 44:33
  It's all the new heights. By coding.
• 44:36
  By coding is for the week. Right, rage coding is oh really?
• 44:40
  I can't do this? Okay, we'll see whether I can do
• 44:43
  this. I love it.
• 44:46
  So I've got the cue cards, so I'm going to start with some
• 44:48
  soft ones. So OK, Stephanie and Heather,
• 44:51
  you have extensive conference experience, so let's help our
• 44:55
  listeners out with some good tips.
• 44:58
  Clay as a booth babe, you can chime in where you see fit.
• 45:01
  I would love to let you lead the conversation and I will listen.
• 45:05
  That was my birthday impression. Was that good?
• 45:09
  That's actually pretty on point. It is just to get the people to
• 45:11
  talk and hang around so then the other people can come and
• 45:15
  actually listen and then decide who they want to talk to.
• 45:17
  You have. To unbutton your shirt, a few
• 45:19
  more buttons. Blakely.
• 45:22
  That's a situation I have in here.
• 45:24
  When they ask you to do that, they know my.
• 45:26
  Background is employment law right?
• 45:28
  And that was harassing of an our employee.
• 45:30
  I I get it, Heather, that is the example I'm trying to set.
• 45:34
  Oh. OK, it was pretend play.
• 45:37
  Do you feel okay? Do you feel harassed?
• 45:40
  Every week a little. I mean, this feels like a normal
• 45:44
  episode for us, so I feel totally comfortable.
• 45:48
  Which might be the problem. But anyway, continue.
• 45:51
  All right, here we go situation. I'm calling it the name blank.
• 45:57
  Sorry you guys are hard to have a podcast with.
• 46:00
  It's just so funny. We said that.
• 46:03
  OK, go ahead. Sorry, all right situation the
• 46:07
  name blank. You're at a conference and
• 46:09
  someone walks up like your old friends, but you have 0 memory
• 46:13
  of meeting them. What's your move?
• 46:17
  Who goes first? You go first.
• 46:19
  You you're a guest or you don't have to, but it's yeah.
• 46:23
  OK, I'll go. I will say I'm so sorry I can't
• 46:25
  remember your name. Yeah, get in front of it.
• 46:28
  Just be honest about it. What?
• 46:30
  If you like, this happens to me all the time.
• 46:34
  Yeah, like every day, all the time.
• 46:35
  It could be like my husband. I might not, you know, like, out
• 46:39
  of context. I don't know their names.
• 46:41
  What if you know, you know them, though?
• 46:43
  And you might have actually even had a meeting with them the last
• 46:46
  week. Like, that's how bad it is for
• 46:48
  me. OK.
• 46:49
  So sometimes that'll be a little slick.
• 46:51
  So usually I'm not by myself at a conference or I have somebody
• 46:54
  that I know or that I've met or whatever.
• 46:56
  So I will have a handler, like a handler.
• 46:58
  I don't have a handler, but I'm usually with other people that I
• 47:01
  know. So I will say something like,
• 47:04
  oh, you've got to meet my best friend Jenny.
• 47:07
  And then he'll say, and then they'll say, oh, my name is
• 47:09
  Bubble. And then I get it and I'll get.
• 47:11
  I do love that one intro. The fake intro is a really good
• 47:15
  one also if you can grab a quick glance at the the name badge.
• 47:20
  But the problem is Salesforce always does these freaking long
• 47:23
  lanyards. So then it looks like you're
• 47:26
  checking out like you have to look down.
• 47:29
  And the embarrassing part is if you look down then they know,
• 47:33
  right? So that's a little bit more
• 47:35
  tricky. Yeah, OK.
• 47:37
  This one's really easy. All right?
• 47:39
  The roommate situation. Your company is making you share
• 47:42
  a hotel room with a colleague to save money.
• 47:45
  How you handle 3? Thank you.
• 47:47
  I don't even have. You're right.
• 47:49
  I don't even have to finish the question because you know what?
• 47:52
  Do not ever make your employees share rooms.
• 47:56
  Ever. I hate companies that do that.
• 47:58
  Me too, Stephanie. Are you doing that for your
• 48:00
  company? No.
• 48:01
  Can you imagine if she was though?
• 48:03
  I know we actually thought about it.
• 48:05
  We thought about it for for like an off site because it was like
• 48:07
  super expensive and there were huge rooms and then we're like,
• 48:10
  no. No, it's just too awkward.
• 48:13
  I don't mind if if it's like an Airbnb but people have their own
• 48:16
  rooms inside the Airbnb. If they have their own
• 48:19
  bathrooms, privacy. Yeah, yes, yeah, I agree.
• 48:23
  But it has to be like a three bedroom 3 bathroom.
• 48:26
  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, privacy is important.
• 48:29
  I just I I hate, I hate that. OK, I got to move on, but I have
• 48:34
  to breathe. That's like some trauma.
• 48:38
  Did you have a roommate situation that went?
• 48:40
  Wrong. Yeah.
• 48:40
  And I snore. I snore really, really horribly
• 48:43
  and I'm. Sorry.
• 48:44
  And they told everybody about it.
• 48:46
  Awkward and I just don't feel comfortable and I just the whole
• 48:50
  thing. And you know people have their
• 48:52
  safe toilets, right? Like your safe toilet's at home?
• 48:55
  I'm sorry, what's a safe toilet? What's a safe toilet?
• 48:57
  Is that where you poop? Yeah, did you guys talk about
• 49:00
  the safe toilet? I don't.
• 49:02
  I've never called it a safe toilet toilet.
• 49:04
  Well, I don't know. Sometimes when you travel a lot,
• 49:07
  you wait to get it home because it's your safe toilet.
• 49:11
  Oh, so you don't have like, performance anxiety where it's
• 49:14
  like you can't because someone's right on the other side of the
• 49:16
  door? And so if you have a roommate,
• 49:19
  it just makes that so much more difficult.
• 49:21
  So awkward and usually those hotels they don't have like fans
• 49:24
  or anything. Or it's like a barn door
• 49:26
  closing. A barn door rack and a crack
• 49:29
  along the bottom and there's. No noise, no noise.
• 49:32
  Cancelling. Anyway.
• 49:35
  Sorry, it was the those, it was the term, it was the term safe
• 49:39
  toilet that threw us off. What you're talking about,
• 49:41
  though, is 100% real, and we're really glad that Stephanie's
• 49:45
  company will not have to endure anything like that on this trip.
• 49:50
  Everyone ever heard that have their safe toilet?
• 49:52
  Poop. We're a peaceful pooping
• 49:56
  culture. OK, go ahead.
• 49:59
  Right. This goes back to Heather's tips
• 50:02
  earlier and I just don't agree. And it's the party after the
• 50:06
  party, it's midnight, the people you are with, maybe it's your
• 50:10
  team, or worse, it's your boss and they want to hit another
• 50:13
  party. Do you go?
• 50:16
  I do not Thank you. You don't go but did but I but
• 50:22
  we don't go Did I have the Adderall or no Adderall?
• 50:27
  Adderall keeps you up. You've.
• 50:28
  Had the Adderall. Mm hmm.
• 50:30
  Then I definitely go. Here's the thing.
• 50:33
  Do you, I mean, you all have kids, don't you say to your kids
• 50:36
  nothing good happens after midnight?
• 50:40
  Nothing. No, that is not where deals
• 50:43
  happen. Ever.
• 50:45
  Do not go to the party after the party.
• 50:48
  Go to 1 sanctioned Dreamforce party a night.
• 50:52
  Feel our blood. First of all, I, I, I turn into
• 50:54
  a pumpkin at 9:30. I'm tired, so I want to go to
• 50:57
  the nights. Me too.
• 50:58
  But the other thing is, is like I've come to realize that it's
• 51:03
  not necessarily safe for me. Like I don't want to be in that
• 51:07
  scenario. Usually I travel to conferences
• 51:10
  without my husband, right? So like now I'm going to be out
• 51:12
  late. It's after midnight, I'm at a
• 51:14
  bar, everyone's drunk. And what I'm like, I don't drink
• 51:17
  when I'm traveling with my if I'm not with them.
• 51:20
  So like I'm going to be the only sober 1 and I'm going to be
• 51:22
  around all the drunk people. Like, I don't think it's a safe
• 51:24
  situation for me to be in. I'm just going to go to bed and
• 51:28
  I'm going to be safe and I'm not going to worry about getting
• 51:31
  myself in some strange scenario, just going to go to bed.
• 51:35
  I actually think that raises a really good point.
• 51:38
  Like I don't think we are here. And I want everyone to know this
• 51:41
  clearly. Like we are not here to shame
• 51:44
  drinkers tell you how much to drink.
• 51:45
  Do you want to drink? Do you not want to drink?
• 51:47
  Like that's everyone's own thing.
• 51:51
  I do have perspective and what I hope is some amount of wisdom.
• 51:56
  And it is very different if you're a subordinate peer or a
• 52:00
  leader. And I drank a lot at these
• 52:04
  things in my 20s and 30s because I was sort of getting to know my
• 52:08
  way. And it put me in some really
• 52:10
  tough situations, which actually I'll just say in the next
• 52:13
  situation. And that's like circle back.
• 52:15
  Like I do think there's some drinking parameters.
• 52:18
  So the next situation is someone at a conference won't stop
• 52:22
  texting you, showing up where you are getting flirty.
• 52:28
  You see that they have their like wedding ring tan.
• 52:31
  How do you shut it down? And I'll say I've had this
• 52:35
  happen to me many a * 1 when I was in my 20s.
• 52:40
  Like I was talking about where I was drinking and I ended up in a
• 52:44
  hotel room with my boss. And it wasn't until they got
• 52:48
  into their boxers and he was married.
• 52:50
  I was not married. I would never like, and this is
• 52:52
  what I said, like I would never do that ever in a million years,
• 52:55
  like when I married. But he was married and I was
• 52:58
  culpable. Like I drank.
• 53:00
  I got into that situation and when he sat on the edge of that
• 53:03
  bed in his boxers, I said, holy fuck, what the hell am I doing
• 53:07
  in this room? And luckily he was not.
• 53:12
  No, he was attractive, but he wasn't an asshole in the terms
• 53:16
  of like he wasn't going to force me there.
• 53:19
  Like like that is the scary situation I could have been in
• 53:22
  and he let me leave and I think he was bummed, but he he let me
• 53:24
  leave like not a big deal. And he was, and I look back at
• 53:27
  now and me too, and like there's that, the whole power play
• 53:30
  situation, but I knew exactly what I was doing.
• 53:33
  And part of that was the drink, right?
• 53:36
  Like I would not have done that in a sober moment.
• 53:39
  So that's just something to remember to our young ones like
• 53:42
  that are still exploring in their 20s and 30s.
• 53:45
  It does make you behave differently, but you also kind
• 53:48
  of learn some of these situations.
• 53:50
  And then Fast forward to later when I had a guy like stalking
• 53:55
  and texting me and I was married at this point and I whatever, I
• 53:58
  didn't even like the guy and he followed me, showed up at
• 54:00
  dinners and parties. And that one I had to like call
• 54:04
  in a friend and like have them be with me because I felt very
• 54:08
  unsafe, very super inappropriate.
• 54:11
  But all to circle back in my long dissertation here is no
• 54:17
  know your ability to drink. And if it is, if you're not
• 54:21
  making good decisions, like I did not make good decisions in
• 54:23
  my 20s, maybe pull it back a little bit.
• 54:27
  And so I actually had to make a transition when I ran the
• 54:31
  company and I made it a rule. And I think this is what you
• 54:33
  were just saying, Stephanie, like I maybe had one drink as a
• 54:36
  boss and then I would leave because I I kind of know what
• 54:41
  they're going to do when they're younger and I don't want to be a
• 54:43
  part of it and I don't want to have to see something right.
• 54:45
  So I don't know, Heather, what's your experience on this one?
• 54:50
  Oh, gosh, she's going to say nothing.
• 54:51
  I'm perfect, Angel. I never made a bad decision, no
• 54:54
  choice. And I get drunk all the time.
• 54:56
  It's. So the opposite.
• 55:01
  I was. I'm like, oh, I should have
• 55:05
  acted that way. Yeah, no, I, I love having fun
• 55:12
  so much that like the idea when I became CEO versus COO, there
• 55:20
  was kind of this shift. I was working with an executive
• 55:22
  coach and it is different being like the top person is
• 55:26
  different. And she said to me, you're going
• 55:29
  to have to get used to leaving the party early instead of
• 55:33
  shutting it down. And I would shut it down as COO
• 55:36
  for many reasons, looking out for people, making sure
• 55:39
  everybody got home okay, being that call like, so it wasn't
• 55:42
  like, oh, I was always just raging.
• 55:44
  But as CEO, it was like leaving that all there, letting go of
• 55:47
  the control of where the night goes or you know, kind of from
• 55:51
  protecting people. I mean, keep in mind, I would
• 55:53
  have everyone sign a waiver. Every single social event we
• 55:56
  did, they signed waivers thing. Yes, you had your team sign
• 56:00
  waivers for every. Single event, even like family
• 56:03
  events because. We What does that mean?
• 56:05
  Like what are they signing away? Like they're signing anytime we
• 56:08
  would serve them alcohol, I guess, which is pretty much
• 56:10
  every social event we would have that available and So what?
• 56:13
  It would be. The waiver said, it said, I
• 56:17
  acknowledge that I do not, that drinking is not a required, you
• 56:21
  know, act of my job, that although it's available to me,
• 56:23
  it's my choice to partake. If any damage or harm comes to
• 56:28
  me as a result of this choice to, you know, engage in
• 56:33
  substances, that you're not going to hold the company liable
• 56:37
  for anything. And so, I mean, we did trips to
• 56:40
  Cancun. We did things.
• 56:41
  And so it was like I could not sleep at night knowing that
• 56:45
  someone could get hurt or put themselves in a bad situation.
• 56:48
  And then somehow that comes back on the company because we
• 56:51
  provided that or made that possible for them because
• 56:55
  everyone, they're all adults and they're all responsible for
• 56:57
  their own behavior. So it's just an acknowledgement
• 56:59
  that they were responsible for their own behavior and that
• 57:02
  attending the event itself wasn't that their job wasn't
• 57:04
  hinged upon whether or not they showed up and also whether or
• 57:07
  not they chose to partake in alcohol.
• 57:10
  So. So how did you make that
• 57:11
  transition from being the one who leaves early horribly?
• 57:17
  Like I don't, I, I barely did it once and it might have been just
• 57:20
  because I was tired. So and another thing about me,
• 57:23
  like I will absolutely drink like sometimes, but also there's
• 57:27
  many times when I don't drink and I'm still like karaoke on
• 57:31
  top of a table or something. Like it's just, I love to have
• 57:33
  fun. And so it's just, it's that part
• 57:38
  was always so tough for me about thinking, how are you portraying
• 57:42
  yourself? And because we are bootstrapped
• 57:44
  and I was employee number four of that company, it really did
• 57:48
  feel like, I mean, these were deep friendships, the crossing,
• 57:51
  you know, it wasn't just colleagues and it was we were,
• 57:54
  we had deep friendships that we would hang out even outside of
• 57:56
  work sometimes. And so that was part of it too,
• 57:59
  was there was a comfort level. So I think it depends a lot on
• 58:01
  what stage your organization is at and you know, is there a
• 58:06
  publicity to it? Is there a public thing?
• 58:08
  Are you going to be on stages? Are you representing the brand
• 58:11
  out publicly? I think in those cases with
• 58:13
  phones and everything, you have to be extremely careful.
• 58:17
  So it it, it did change. And then through the acquisition
• 58:20
  with main capital, obviously that's, you know, funds over at
• 58:24
  that, I mean, not funds over, but you know, it's like you're
• 58:26
  definitely not doing that at that, at that level.
• 58:28
  So I think it depends on what stage you're in.
• 58:30
  That transition's really hard because some of those early
• 58:33
  employees did become good friends.
• 58:35
  And you know, like Stephanie, you hired or you work with one
• 58:38
  of your closest friends and. My COO is my very best friend
• 58:42
  that I've been best friends since I was 13.
• 58:45
  Yes. And so my COO also became a
• 58:48
  very, very dear friend of mine. And but there was a point where
• 58:53
  I remember my husband said this and my business partner said
• 58:56
  this is like, you are not their friends.
• 58:59
  You cannot you can no longer be friends and be like an objective
• 59:03
  leader. And that's part of the
• 59:04
  loneliness we talk about on this show.
• 59:06
  Like you really do have to have a different boundary.
• 59:09
  And so like, if I take it all the way back to conferences,
• 59:12
  like are you with your peers? OK, maybe stay in line with your
• 59:16
  peers. Are you a subordinate?
• 59:17
  Do just be mindful of how you want to be in front of your
• 59:22
  boss. Or if you're like me, don't do
• 59:23
  that. Whatever.
• 59:24
  And the opposite, if you are the boss, if you are the leader,
• 59:27
  like maybe maybe it's one or two.
• 59:30
  And then like, walk away and let the Youngs have fun.
• 59:33
  And you know, but also let them know that they are representing
• 59:36
  your brand. And I think that's important.
• 59:38
  Heather, that was a great message.
• 59:40
  Well, everyone there is representing your brand.
• 59:42
  Exactly. And, and who you're around and
• 59:45
  are you in a group? I mean, if I'm in a pack of, you
• 59:48
  know, 8 to 10 people of my people and we all have each
• 59:51
  other's back, that looks a lot different than me going to the
• 59:54
  executive dinner where I'm by myself because we're at the CEO
• 59:58
  function and everybody's networking, but I'm essentially
• 1:00:01
  alone. So that whole thing happened of
• 1:00:03
  a guy kind of coming out at the end and like I'm waiting for my
• 1:00:07
  Uber and then he comes and asks to share the Uber and, and then
• 1:00:11
  just gets uncomfortable and I'm alone and I feel very exposed.
• 1:00:14
  So in those situations, I actually don't drink.
• 1:00:16
  I where I, it's kind of like how, how much of my wits do I
• 1:00:19
  need to have about me? And, and so it's just really
• 1:00:22
  depending on each situation. And I love Stephanie, how you
• 1:00:25
  said. You know, agreement with your
• 1:00:27
  husband when you travel or that I love having those types of
• 1:00:31
  things going into it where you're just saying, look, this
• 1:00:35
  is our role, this is our personal thing that we have
• 1:00:37
  decided when we travel. We don't do that.
• 1:00:40
  And I'm not asking you to get personal about that.
• 1:00:44
  I just, I appreciate you saying, look, it's okay to have these
• 1:00:48
  boundaries before you even go into the situation where it's
• 1:00:51
  not even an issue where you're not forced to like, am I going
• 1:00:54
  to, am I not have a plan going in?
• 1:00:57
  And then you'll be able to stand behind that a lot easier.
• 1:00:59
  Well, like ask me why we have this ground rules, right?
• 1:01:02
  It's because there's been shit that's happened and you're like,
• 1:01:05
  how the hell did I get in this situation, right?
• 1:01:08
  And then although like your intentions can be completely
• 1:01:12
  benign, completely innocent, you're like, I did not mean to
• 1:01:15
  get here. Now how the hell do I get out?
• 1:01:18
  And you know, I have no problem talking about this because I
• 1:01:21
  think there's almost like, OK, I'll speak to how I felt.
• 1:01:24
  I never wanted to have the appearance that I had
• 1:01:28
  limitations. Like I am a powerful woman in
• 1:01:30
  this space and I will I'm here independently and I'm going to
• 1:01:33
  stand on my own ground. And that is true.
• 1:01:36
  But I'm also a wife and a mother and a leader.
• 1:01:40
  And I would the way I show up effects all those other people.
• 1:01:43
  And so I need to show up in a meaningful, thoughtful way that
• 1:01:48
  doesn't put any of those people in a difficult situation.
• 1:01:51
  And then I am accountable for them.
• 1:01:52
  So if I I, you know, end up in like a hotel lobby and it's 2:00
• 1:01:57
  AM and I haven't called my children to say goodnight and my
• 1:01:59
  husband and then they're like, where are you?
• 1:02:01
  And I have to say, Oh, I don't know.
• 1:02:03
  I just, I'd lost track of time. I drank too much and I'm sitting
• 1:02:06
  in his lobby like that sucks for them to hear right.
• 1:02:09
  So I don't ever, I never wanted to put them in that situation,
• 1:02:12
  even though, you know, the intentions and nothing ever
• 1:02:15
  happened and whatever. I just, I felt like this is a
• 1:02:18
  better way for me to show up and then it's I have an expectation.
• 1:02:22
  He has an expectation and I can exist in a very male dominated
• 1:02:26
  environment and still be like in control and safe.
• 1:02:30
  And I can, you know, do what I need to do from the company
• 1:02:32
  standpoint and I can have a ton of fun, but with a little bit of
• 1:02:37
  guardrails, I guess. And I'm OK with that.
• 1:02:39
  And so I think some other people may not be OK with that.
• 1:02:42
  I'm totally OK with that, you know.
• 1:02:44
  Well, I love that it communicates that you are
• 1:02:46
  someone that has boundaries. And so whether that boundary is
• 1:02:48
  to not have a single drink or whether it's to have one,
• 1:02:50
  whether it's to have two. But people are watching.
• 1:02:53
  They're watching and they they might not even you might not
• 1:02:56
  even realize it, but I've been in situations where I could tell
• 1:03:01
  based on Liz, this was it was a dinner and there's about 10
• 1:03:04
  people there. And there was a couple of us who
• 1:03:07
  did not accept like with a waiter comes around to like pour
• 1:03:11
  the other glass of wine to top everyone off.
• 1:03:13
  And so me and another woman said, no, you know, I'm good.
• 1:03:17
  And then we switched to our water And then two other women
• 1:03:20
  at the table were like, Yep, bring it on.
• 1:03:22
  And then kept more the gravitation of the men at that
• 1:03:26
  table, like gradually like went to these other women because
• 1:03:30
  they're communicating just by continuing to drink that they're
• 1:03:34
  down to have fun, right? And so and then it's like, oh,
• 1:03:37
  well, those who are going home early, they're not any fun.
• 1:03:39
  So I never said that. I never commented on it was just
• 1:03:43
  there, but they're looking and they're noticing.
• 1:03:44
  And that was so interesting. We talked about it on our way
• 1:03:46
  home. We're like, did you notice how
• 1:03:48
  that happened? And.
• 1:03:51
  I don't think we need to talk about it because like if we
• 1:03:54
  don't talk about it, then I think that's like women keep
• 1:03:57
  secret. Like we hold the secrets.
• 1:03:59
  We have the secret keepers of like what that guy really says,
• 1:04:02
  like behind closed doors or like whispers to you when he's
• 1:04:05
  married and whatever else. Like, and then we never share
• 1:04:08
  that because we're like, that didn't happen, right?
• 1:04:11
  And then everybody has this isolated experience.
• 1:04:14
  But like, and I don't care what century it is.
• 1:04:16
  Like if we're in those scenarios, it's a little bit
• 1:04:18
  risky. You know, I'm, I'm pretty strong
• 1:04:21
  and I'm pretty direct and I'll tell you to fuck off, right?
• 1:04:24
  But like, I'm still, I can still find myself in a situation like,
• 1:04:28
  Oh my gosh. So I'm just.
• 1:04:30
  Yeah, well, Speaking of that, I mean, I, I think safety is a big
• 1:04:37
  deal. And so you know how your mom
• 1:04:40
  always taught you like don't walk in a dark alley by
• 1:04:43
  yourself. I would say in conferences, do
• 1:04:46
  not get into an Uber with someone and especially do not
• 1:04:50
  get into an elevator. Honestly with someone.
• 1:04:54
  For me, I have to just from again, personal experience of
• 1:04:59
  people like getting off on my floor and I'm like, I don't know
• 1:05:02
  that they're on this floor, right?
• 1:05:04
  So that is so creepy. I know that it is so.
• 1:05:06
  Creepy. So I kind of wait for the
• 1:05:08
  elevator to be my own. Or I like, have someone from
• 1:05:12
  work drop me off. And these conferences are big
• 1:05:15
  and things happen, and they're also really, really fun.
• 1:05:18
  So I don't mean to like, scare off.
• 1:05:21
  They are really, really fun. Guys, we talked about so many
• 1:05:29
  things. We did cover conference stuff,
• 1:05:32
  but we also we talked about some really sensitive, vulnerable
• 1:05:38
  stuff. So just to recap, I, I really
• 1:05:42
  don't take Adderall recreationally.
• 1:05:44
  I'm feeling a little vulnerable that I saw that.
• 1:05:48
  Are you putting on back disclaimer on our show exit?
• 1:05:52
  I really don't end up in hotel rooms with my naked box.
• 1:05:55
  I really, I mean, well, you did, but I'm just saying, I feel like
• 1:05:58
  I, I, I over represented that. So yeah, anyway, no Sir.
• 1:06:02
  But thank you so much though, for saying that.
• 1:06:04
  We, we have, we have, it's embarrassed that we end up in
• 1:06:08
  these situations and how do we get out of them and how do we
• 1:06:12
  help other people not end up in that same spot.
• 1:06:13
  So Stephanie, thanks for leading the way in opening that.
• 1:06:16
  I think you, you kind of initially said that about the
• 1:06:20
  drinking part and, and sharing. I, I think these are
• 1:06:23
  conversations we need to keep having.
• 1:06:25
  And hopefully listeners today will start talking with their
• 1:06:28
  colleagues and have a plan when they're going into a conference.
• 1:06:32
  How are they going to handle these situations if they find
• 1:06:34
  themselves in them? And what, what are the goals
• 1:06:36
  that you want to get out of it? So thank you guys so much.
• 1:06:39
  Before we take off, we ask everybody the same question at
• 1:06:42
  the end of every episode, which is what brought a smile to your
• 1:06:45
  face this week so you can think about it.
• 1:06:50
  Clay Blakely, do you guys want to?
• 1:06:52
  Go. I can go.
• 1:06:53
  OK. So we had a guest on here, Molly
• 1:06:56
  Keevney, a couple episodes back and Molly and I are in the same
• 1:07:01
  girls card group. So we play cards every month.
• 1:07:05
  And she brought a, she won last last month.
• 1:07:09
  And you know, in classic Molly's style, she's like the best gift
• 1:07:12
  giver. She thinks of all these little
• 1:07:13
  things, and she brought a trophy to this month's card game.
• 1:07:18
  Guess who won? Whoa, I got the trophy.
• 1:07:22
  It was so happy. So it's on my mantle.
• 1:07:26
  I won card night. Can you describe it for people
• 1:07:28
  who are listening? What does it look like?
• 1:07:30
  It's very cool. I've never seen one like that.
• 1:07:33
  Yeah, it's big. It's a yeah, It's great, right?
• 1:07:36
  It's probably the only trophy I've ever won because I don't
• 1:07:39
  have an athletic bone in my body, so I never won anything
• 1:07:43
  there. But it's like got a deck of
• 1:07:45
  cards, like a Royal Flesh, although we don't play that
• 1:07:47
  game. And then she had it custom
• 1:07:50
  engraved because we're called the card.
• 1:07:52
  Shark. And it says card shark winner
• 1:07:54
  and I get to keep it for a whole month and if I win again, you
• 1:07:57
  guys, I get it for a second month, which I will very
• 1:08:01
  competitive. So no problem.
• 1:08:03
  What's the game you play? What's the card game?
• 1:08:05
  Wizard. Have you heard of Wizard?
• 1:08:07
  Oh, you taught me Wizard. And then you and.
• 1:08:09
  For like play for Midwesterners like Euchre, it's like, no, it's
• 1:08:14
  not at all like Euchre. It's.
• 1:08:15
  A little bit like. Euchre with the doesn't
• 1:08:17
  represent euchre at all. It's like ups and downs if
• 1:08:20
  you've heard of ups and downs or ladder or hell it's like one of
• 1:08:24
  those games. So it's a trick taking game.
• 1:08:26
  It is not like euchre at. All.
• 1:08:28
  OK, and you take tricks. Well, I will say that nothing is
• 1:08:32
  like euchre. I will say that.
• 1:08:34
  It's I love euchre. It's got a special.
• 1:08:35
  I don't know either of these games.
• 1:08:38
  OK, well, when we come visit you in North Carolina, we're gonna
• 1:08:40
  play. Wizard is on its way to you,
• 1:08:43
  girl. That's the.
• 1:08:44
  Plan. All right, Clay.
• 1:08:47
  So obviously the Detroit Lions won.
• 1:08:49
  So that's. You can't use that every week
• 1:08:52
  I'm. Getting it out of the way.
• 1:08:53
  I just want to get it out of the way.
• 1:08:54
  But if I don't say it, someone's going to comment and say Clay,
• 1:08:56
  you didn't say anything about anyway.
• 1:09:00
  My son won an award at his school.
• 1:09:03
  Stop it. So he yeah.
• 1:09:07
  So he won the responsibility award for for primary at his
• 1:09:12
  school so. And how old is he?
• 1:09:14
  He's 5. He's.
• 1:09:16
  Five, he's the line leader of his class, so he's always the
• 1:09:21
  one in the front. So we got to yeah.
• 1:09:24
  So we got to show up to school. We got invited.
• 1:09:26
  It was a surprise. We got an e-mail from his school
• 1:09:29
  administrator come to the school.
• 1:09:30
  So we have to surprise him. So we got to see him get the
• 1:09:33
  award at his school, which was really cool.
• 1:09:35
  That was really fun and experience.
• 1:09:36
  But then seeing the fun part was he had told us he was the line
• 1:09:40
  leader and but. So we actually got to see him
• 1:09:44
  line lead in action. And that's actually what brought
• 1:09:49
  a smile to my face because seeing him be responsible, the
• 1:09:53
  kids form behind him. Then he sees Ray, my wife and I.
• 1:09:59
  He sees us. And instead of just running over
• 1:10:03
  to us, he turns to his teacher and asks, may I please go see my
• 1:10:08
  parents. Then he runs over to us, gives a
• 1:10:10
  hug, comes back, gets perfectly in line, and they take off.
• 1:10:13
  And I was like, this is the best feeling in the world.
• 1:10:17
  So we were like, yeah, dude. So he.
• 1:10:21
  That was really fun. So that was good.
• 1:10:23
  Good. Job.
• 1:10:26
  All right. I'll go next, Stephanie.
• 1:10:29
  So we end with you. OK, so my college girlfriends
• 1:10:34
  came in last weekend and we acted like we were 21 again.
• 1:10:39
  It was. And you said, didn't you say
• 1:10:41
  this on the show, that they were coming?
• 1:10:42
  It was, yeah. So that was what brought my
• 1:10:44
  smile to my face. Well, because the one was
• 1:10:45
  already here at that time, and so that was enough to search.
• 1:10:48
  So then two more come, and it was.
• 1:10:52
  This is so fun. I mean we didn't stop talking
• 1:10:55
  for three days like there was no except for sleeping.
• 1:10:59
  They just kept going and I thought surely at some point we
• 1:11:01
  will stop reminiscing or it just moved from thing to thing to
• 1:11:05
  thing to thing. We did like the face masks.
• 1:11:07
  We did our old like dances did. Not you did not.
• 1:11:12
  You did your dance routines. Yes, we did.
• 1:11:15
  Oh my gosh. The video, it's really
• 1:11:17
  embarrassing. It was, it was just really,
• 1:11:19
  really fun. We didn't stop laughing the
• 1:11:22
  entire time, so it's good. I was so boring.
• 1:11:25
  Not anymore, Stephanie, what brought a smile to your face
• 1:11:28
  this week? So both of my daughters have
• 1:11:31
  three kids 2 girls and the girls are five years and one day
• 1:11:35
  apart. So they both had birthdays this
• 1:11:37
  past week. And my oldest friend, 16, which
• 1:11:41
  is really wild. And then my youngest, my
• 1:11:44
  youngest that might have a son in the middle, she turned 11.
• 1:11:48
  So the the 16 birthday party, that was really special and kind
• 1:11:54
  of like, you know, it's like a landmark.
• 1:11:56
  And she's so excited she's going to get her license.
• 1:11:58
  And then she applied for a job right away because she could,
• 1:12:01
  and she's been waiting to do that.
• 1:12:03
  So just to see just the possibilities it like you wreck.
• 1:12:08
  I recognize what she felt like, how I felt when I turned 16 and
• 1:12:11
  like, the world is so big and you finally have a little bit
• 1:12:14
  more access to it. And it was just really exciting
• 1:12:18
  to see that happen and unfold. And I'm so proud of her.
• 1:12:21
  She's such a good girl and it was just so fun.
• 1:12:25
  It was a whole did. You do a party.
• 1:12:26
  She did like a party. We had a party at our house that
• 1:12:30
  had a murder mystery party. Everybody had like everybody
• 1:12:33
  dressed up. They all dressed up in like
• 1:12:35
  fancy outfits and they all had a role they had to play.
• 1:12:38
  So like 1 was a murderer and there was evidence and they
• 1:12:41
  loved it. There was like, OK, now's the
• 1:12:43
  time to like gossip and they had things to gossip about.
• 1:12:46
  So they loved that. It was just, it was the whole
• 1:12:49
  thing. It was really fun.
• 1:12:51
  Yeah, I just found out that my daughter's boyfriend's family
• 1:12:56
  plays murder mystery every year for Thanksgiving, and this is
• 1:12:58
  the first year that we're home for Thanksgiving.
• 1:13:00
  And I'm like, can we get an invite?
• 1:13:03
  Can we come? It was so fun.
• 1:13:05
  Yes, they're so fun. Yeah, but I'm worried about you
• 1:13:09
  like your competitive thing like ruining Thanksgiving, right
• 1:13:14
  people? Tell me that all the time.
• 1:13:16
  Well, no, because you've struggled with that.
• 1:13:18
  And I'm just worried like with the in laws, like in like the
• 1:13:21
  murder mystery, I could see you being like, that's not what the
• 1:13:25
  card says. And I overheard somebody saying
• 1:13:28
  something that wasn't, it's not gossip time.
• 1:13:31
  And I heard them gossiping and you're like, going to call
• 1:13:34
  people out. OK, this is smile time and
• 1:13:37
  Heather is about to make me cry so I want to move on.
• 1:13:40
  I moved to close this meeting. I love you, Blakely.
• 1:13:45
  Love you, Heather. All right, thank you guys so
• 1:13:47
  much. We had so much fun today.
• 1:13:49
  We are having so much fun with this podcast.
• 1:13:51
  We appreciate you listening. Please hit subscribe on YouTube
• 1:13:55
  and check us out. Next week we're going to be
• 1:13:58
  recording live from Dreamforce. Somehow.
• 1:14:00
  I'm going to figure it out and we're going to see what happens,
• 1:14:02
  but you're not going to want to minister it.
• 1:14:04
  So please hit subscribe on YouTube and we'll see you next
• 1:14:06
  time. Thank you very much, Stephanie.
• 1:14:08
  Thank you, Stephanie. Thanks for having me.