Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Why Love Wins 4/7: It’s Hard to Love Anyone You Don’t Trust—Especially the Person in the Mirror. #TrustYourSelfThursday

Transcript

Why Love Wins 4/7: It’s Hard to Love Anyone You Don’t Trust—Especially the Person in the Mirror. #TrustYourSelfThursday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Greetings, greetings and welcome.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Welcome back, sweet Spotters, welcome back to the Sweet Spot where science meets soul.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining me once again.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I'm Dr Derek Sweet.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: It's a pleasure to be on this journey with you, the journey we're taking on the road called love.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, indeed, we've called this series this week Be Love, just be love.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: How powerful is that?
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: The idea that you can choose love, that love is always a response that you can give, and that the first place that we start with this is with ourselves.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: The idea that, as the ancient wisdom always tells us, love your neighbor as you love yourself.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: And I think that that's a great way to think about love, because if we don't start by loving ourselves and putting ourselves first, if we don't put the oxygen mask on ourselves first before we put it on someone else, we may not be around to continue helping that person or even loving that person.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: So the ancients, they got it right, didn't they?
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: They really got it right.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: So I'm Dr Derek Sweet, I'm a board certified psychiatrist and I'm delighted.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I'm delighted to be your partner here.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I'm delighted to be your fellow traveler this week as we keep unfolding this incredible idea of what it truly means to be love.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: You know, this week has been powerful, it's been a powerful ride.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: On Making Moves, monday, we talked about how choosing to be love is the most powerful step you can take, a courageous internal move that helps us face fear and fuel our passion.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Then, on Take Action Tuesday, remember, we saw how love empowers consistent, dependable actions, even the quiet sacrifices, the daily routines, the boring, consistent things that love does every single day, making it that quiet, gangster force that doesn't back down from anything, that faces every obstacle and makes the obstacle the way.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: The obstacle is not in the way, it becomes the way because love is that powerful.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: And yesterday, on Win it All Wednesday, we explored how love helps us redefine victory right, so that we don't just say victory is getting a trophy or being first.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Love helps us redefine victory by helping us find true triumph, the meaning of true triumph, true triumph, the meaning of true triumph, the idea that it's not just about our external successes but being unconquerable in spirit, having an indomitable spirit that rises from the setback, that it doesn't matter about the win or the loss, that you have already seen yourself as a winner.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: And remember we said on Wednesday, yesterday, that the most dangerous person in the room, the most dangerous man in the room, the most dangerous woman in the room, is the one who's already won in their mind, regardless of the outcome.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: They don't care about the outcome.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: They know that, they know that.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: They know that they're a winner.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: And that brings us here, my friends, to Trust Yourself, thursday, where we're diving into something deeply personal and utterly foundational trusting yourself In a world that throws so much at us.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: So much noise, so many opinions, so many podcasts, myself included.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: So many TV shows, so many podcasts, myself included.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: So many TV shows, so many options.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: So many should do this, could do this.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: How do we tune in to the quiet, wise voice inside?
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: How do we tune into our deeper selves?
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: How do we find the deep love?
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: And remember we said that love.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Love is not weak, love is not soft, love is not naive.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Love is a force, it's a very powerful force.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: And the deeper truth is that you cannot fully love, my friend, you cannot fully love not yourself, not others without one very important ingredient, and you know what that is.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Well, what's today?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Today is Trust Yourself, thursday.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: So you're 100% right you can't fully love anyone, not even yourself, without trust.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: You see, trust is what gives love its legs.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Trust is the anchor.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Love is the ocean.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: And when you learn to trust yourself, to honor your voice, to believe in your worth and to stop selling your love out there and putting it out there for sale when in fact it's priceless, it can't be sold, it can't be bought, it's all yours and it's your truth.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: It's your gift.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: And the more you take that in, love starts to feel less like a performance and more like a homecoming.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Coming back to yourself, and that's what Trust Yourself.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Thursday is all about Beautiful soul.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Look, we talk a lot about loving ourselves, but the real question is do you trust yourself?
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Do you trust yourself enough to love yourself unconditionally?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: That means loving you even when you're not perfect.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: That means loving you even when you mess up, even when the old voices say to you you're not enough, you didn't get that right, you don't look like that person looks, you don't have all the things that other person has.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Even when the world doesn't clap for you, the world doesn't applaud your growth, even when you're not being recognized, do you trust you?
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Because here's the truth Self-trust is the soil where self-love grows.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Self-trust is the soil where self-love grows.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: You can't bloom in ground you don't feel safe in.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: You can't bloom in ground you don't feel safe in.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: You can't bloom in ground that you're not watering with the right kinds of fluids.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: You can't bloom in situations where you don't feel trust.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: And for many of us, the unsafe ground isn't out there, no, it's in here, it's inside of us, in the way we doubt ourselves, in the way we criticize ourselves, in the way we abandon ourselves, in the way we talk to ourselves.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: How we really think about us.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: But today, how we really think about us.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: But today, oh no, no, no, my friend.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Today we're starting to build new ground.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: We're going to shore up our trust.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Let me share a few reminders, and I want them to settle in your bones.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: You sit back and let me tell you a couple of quotes.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Oscar Wilde has this great quote To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: You can't possibly not have love in your life if you love you.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: That's a fact.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: And you can't be lonely if you love the one you're with.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Do you get that?
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Here's another one by Benjamin Spock Trust yourself.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: You know more than you think you do Trust yourself.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: You know more than you think you do.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: You didn't get here by accident.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: You're not still in the game because you don't know what to do.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Trust yourself.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Here's another one by the Buddha.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: You can search the whole universe for someone more deserving of your love than you.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: You can really search, and you won't ever find them.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: You will never find someone who is more deserving of your love than you.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Let that sink in, because if you found that person, you better be looking in the mirror.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: You got to start with you Because you know it's hard to love your neighbor if you don't really love yourself.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm trying to get to there.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: And how about this one?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: When you start loving yourself, life starts falling into place.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: When you start trusting yourself, peace also falls into place.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, love isn't just something you give, it's something you allow.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: You allow it to live inside of you and to allow it to do that, to be honestly there for you you have to trust.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: You have to trust yourself to be able to give it and receive it.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: So here's your reflection today, my friend.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Where in your life are you withholding love from yourself?
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Because you're not trusting your own worth, you're not trusting your own powers.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: You're not trusting that God has your back.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: You're not trusting that everything will work out.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: You're not trusting that you can overcome this obstacle, that you can get past this.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: You're not trusting that you're going to pass the test.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: You're not trusting that you have all the right answers inside of you for this situation that you're facing.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Were you waiting on someone else to validate what you were born already, worthy of what you were already born to do?
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: How about this?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: We give our power away to others by asking them their opinions.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: What do they think?
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Hey, I'm not saying don't do that occasionally, but when that becomes your lifestyle, that you cannot move unless somebody else validates it, that's an issue.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to choose to trust your heart, choose to believe that your story matters, choose to let love lead you.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: When you lead with love, you're not leading with any leftovers.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: You're leading with love, and that starts with you, because once you do, you don't just survive in this life, you come alive in it.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: You come alive in it.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: So repeat after me, or just let these words wash over you today Trust yourself.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Thursday.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: I trust myself to handle whatever life brings.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: To handle whatever life brings.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: I am worthy of deep, unconditional love, and I give it to myself.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I don't need permission to love myself fully.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: I'm safe with me.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: I'm safe with me.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Love and trust live in me, not outside of me.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I'm home, I'm home.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing, my friend.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: You can only truly trust yourself if you genuinely love yourself, and I don't mean a superficial, self-obsessed love.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: That's not what I'm talking about.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I mean a deep, honest, compassionate acceptance of who you are Flaws, and all Imperfections and all imperfections and all you are beautiful.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: This isn't about arrogance.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: It's about acknowledging that you can carry an incredible inner wisdom in you.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: A divine spark is in you that knows more than anything out there in the world.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: You have been fearfully and wonderfully made.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: You, my friend, are a reflection of the divine of God.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: No external expert knows more about you than you.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: And listen, I'm a psychiatrist and I'm telling you trust yourself.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I'm a psychiatrist and I'm telling you trust yourself.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: You see, this deep self-love gives you the courage to lean on your own intuition, on the gut feeling, on the whisper in your heart, the Holy Spirit, the deep internal wisdom that whispers the truth to you.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: How about this?
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: How about you take a second, you take a deep breath today, maybe even right now, just enjoy it and do a nice deep breath in you know how many of us don't do that and then just let it out.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Deep breath in and just let it out in that very activity exhibiting trust.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: You trusted that when you took the breath in, that all the oxygen was going to come into your body, find all the red blood cells, locate your hemoglobin and distribute itself to every tissue in your body.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: And then you exhale.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: The very act of breathing is an act of trust.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: You never worry that maybe you're not going to take in the next breath, even though that's a risk for all of us.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, trust yourself.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: What answers are lying inside of you?
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: What do you already know?
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: What do you already know?
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: And are you acting with courage around it?
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Clear and annoying about a decision, only to let self-doubt or fear or judgment or somebody's loud opinion completely drown you out.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: We've all been there.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: But when you choose to be love towards yourself, you create a safe, clear space for trust, and that love, trust and that love, along with the trust, will help you filter out noise, even the little ones, the little critics that we have inside of us criticizing ourselves.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: We start trusting that we are more than conquerors.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: We start trusting that God is for us and not against us.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: God is for us and not against us.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: We will start trusting that we will definitely overcome this challenge.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: We will trust that we will find a way out of this issue or problem.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: We're going to walk in trust.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: We're going to walk in the language of love.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: This is the kind of belief.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: Remember that song Whitney Houston sang the greatest love of all man.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: If I had the voice, I would sing it for you now.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: But Whitney declared in that song I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadows.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Remember, if I fail, if I succeed, at least I live how, as I believe.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Do you know why?
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Because the greatest love of all, the greatest love of all, is happening to me.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I found the greatest love of all.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: You know where I found it Inside of me.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: Let that sink in today, my friend.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: That's your power, that's your strength, that's your secret sauce.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I want you to get back to that love.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Hold your head high, square your shoulders, put on your fancy clothes, smile and know that greater is that which is in you than in the world.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Whitney wasn't just singing a song.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: That's an anthem for trusting yourself, rooted in a profound self-love.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: And listen from a spiritual perspective.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: And we're going to close right here.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: The inner guidance is deeply affirming the ancients got it right.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: There's a verse, I think it's in the book of Isaiah, I'm not sure the Bible scholars will let me know.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Whether you turn to the right or to the left, the word says your ears will hear a voice behind you saying this is the way.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Walk in it.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying this is the way.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Walk in it.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Hey, this isn't just a metaphor.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: It hey, this isn't just a metaphor.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: It speaks to a profound, living guidance that's always available to you and me.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: So trusting ourselves, trusting yourself, then becomes an act of listening for that inner voice.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Today, trust Yourself.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Thursday listen for the divine direction.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: You got to get quiet.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: You got to get still.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: You got to get still.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: You have to put the phone down.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: You have to turn off the TV, you have to sit with yourself and listen.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: When you do a few deep breaths like that, when you let go, you pray, you relax, you're doing wonders for your body, wonders for your blood pressure, wonders for your immune system, and more than that, you get divine direction, you get answers that clarify your path and you get assurances that you're on the right track.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: So choosing to trust yourself today is the move.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: All right, beautiful souls, thank you so much for listening to me today.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining me on this journey of love.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: How powerful is this?
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: To love ourselves and to trust ourselves.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: Today, you find some way to express that and you communicate that with me.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: Hit me up, send me a message.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: I would love to hear it.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: This is Dr Derek Sweet.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow is, oh boy, tomorrow is Finish Strong Friday, wow.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Finish Strong Friday, wow.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: We will explore how love empowers us to conclude our week, to conclude projects, to finish challenges with power, with grace, with profound fulfillment.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: But you know what?
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to get started on that you got to come back.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: You got to come visit with me tomorrow.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: And until then, my friend, beautiful soul, most beautiful soul, keep choosing love, keep taking action, keep winning from the heart, trust yourself, put the oxygen mask on you and, most importantly, keep walking in love.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: And if you know someone who could benefit from this.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: The Trust Yourself Thursday message.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: I ask you share with them and I'll see you tomorrow.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Love and blessings.