Latest / Connor with Honor: AI, Real Estate and Real Life / 365 to 231: The Proof, and the One Hour That Did It.

Transcript

365 to 231: The Proof, and the One Hour That Did It. · Connor with Honor: AI, Real Estate and Real Life

0:00
SPEAKER_00: There's a version of you that stopped fighting, probably not this year, but years ago, and you actually didn't announce it.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: There wasn't a ceremony, you just stopped quietly, somewhere between 42 and 51, or maybe older, maybe a little younger.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: You told yourself it was maturity.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: And maybe you never even wanted to quit.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've just kind of got stuck in this rut and you can't you can't seem to break free of it.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: And here's the part nobody says out loud.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: Somebody is fine with that.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: Somebody in your life, maybe two or three people, they've already found you underfinished.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: And they're not cruel about it.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: They don't think about it much.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: They just don't expect anything from your body anymore.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: They watch you get out of the truck and something on their face goes soft with a kind of pity that you would have swung at when you were 26.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not going to tell you to prove them wrong.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to tell you something worse.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Right now, today, on the path that you're on, you're going to prove them right on schedule, ahead of schedule, probably, and the only thing standing between you and that outcome is a decision you can make in the next 35 minutes.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm not a doctor, I'm not a coach, I'm not standing on a stage in a rented suit telling you I cracked the code.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: I work for a living.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm a 50-something guy, 57, here as we're September of 2026, who ate in his car so nobody would see him.
1:33
SPEAKER_00: And that's who's talking to you, an addict.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: Sitting across from another addict telling you what I found out the hard way, and it costs me to find out.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: Just like it's costing you, I'm sure.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: Everything I'm about to say is going to hit one or two ways.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: Either it's going to make you angry, or it's going to make you tired.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: And if it makes you angry, you stay that way.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: Angry is the last live wire you've got, and we're going to use that to our advantage.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: Because in the next half hour, I'm going to take twelve things you believe about your body and turn every single one of them upside down.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: Not motivation.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to motivate you.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: Hell, if you need motivation at this point, I don't know what to tell you.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: Motivation is a mood, and moods don't survive Tuesday.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: Twelve shifts, twelve things you have wrong.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: Now let us start with the biggest one, and you think you're experiencing age?
2:26
SPEAKER_00: You're not.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: You're experiencing chemistry.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: Now get this clear because everything else in this video sits on top of it.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: The stiffness in your hands in the morning, the forty five minutes of fog before the coffee lands, the knee, the lower back, the way you have to plan the stairs now, the nap you didn't used to need, the mood that drops off a cliff at four in the afternoon.
2:47
SPEAKER_00: You filed all of that under one word, age.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: And age is the safest word in the English language because nobody argues with it.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: You say I'm fifty-four at the dinner table and every head nods.
2:59
SPEAKER_00: Case closed.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: No follow-up questions.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: Here's the problem with that story.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: 54 doesn't cause inflammation.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: 54 doesn't spike your blood sugar.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: 54 didn't put thirty eight grams of sugar in the thing you drank at two o'clock.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: 54 has never once in the history of the human body walked into a kitchen at 940 at night and opened a cabinet.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: Age is not an input.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: It's a number on a form.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: The inputs are what you ate.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: Three to five times a day, maybe more, maybe more snacks in there for thirty years.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: And I know what you're doing right now because I did it.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: You're running the list.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: You're thinking about the guy at work who eats worse than you and looks great.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: You're thinking about your uncle who smoked until he was eighty eight.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: You're building the case right now.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: Stop building the case.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: You already know the answer, and you already have known it for years.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: At a very specific hour, not now.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Now you're watching a video and you're safe.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: But I mean at three in the morning when you wake up for no reason and you lie there and you do the math on your own life.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: That's the only hour you tell yourself the truth.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: You're not old.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: You're inflamed, insulin resistant, underslept, overfed, and chemically hooked.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: And every single one of those is reversible.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Age?
4:17
SPEAKER_00: It's not.
4:19
SPEAKER_00: That's the whole point.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: You've been blaming one thing you cannot change for damage caused by things you can.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: That is shift number one.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Everything after this starts to get easier.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: nine thirty at night.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: Dinner was at six thirty.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: You ate real food, decent portion.
4:35
SPEAKER_00: You were full when you pushed back from the table.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: Three hours later you're standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open looking.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: Not looking for anything specific, but just looking.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: You feel the cold air on your chest.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: One hand on the door scanning shelves, you've already scanned twice.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: You're really not hungry.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: Understand me, and I understand me, I don't mean you're not very hungry.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: I mean the hunger signal is not firing at all.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: It is biologically impossible for you to be in caloric need three hours after a full meal, standing on a hundred thousand calories of stored energy strapped to your belly and your face.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: So what is it?
5:17
SPEAKER_00: Well that is withdrawal.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: That's your brain, which got trained over two decades to expect a dopamine hit at a certain hour, sending up a flare.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: And because you've never been taught to read that signal, you translate it into the only word you've got.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: Hungry.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: You're not hungry.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: You're in withdrawal, because you've been in withdrawal every night for years, and you've been medicating it with the exact substance that caused it.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: Now here's the shift.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: The food industry does not stumble into this.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: This is not an accident of the market.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: There are people with doctorates in neuroscience and behavioral psychology whose entire job it is to find the exact ratio of sugar, sugar, fat, salt that will crunch and that overrides the switch in your brain that says stop.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: They call it a bliss point.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: That is not my phrase.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: That's their phrase.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: It's in their literature.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: They tested it on rats, and then they tested it on you.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: They engineered products and beat your biology on purpose, and then they sold you the idea that when you lose to those products, it's a character flaw.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: You are not weak.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: You got out-engineered by a multi-billion dollar research operation that had a 30-year head start without any rules.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: But here's the second half.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: And that's where I stop letting you off the hook.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: Knowing you got engineered doesn't make it your problem anymore.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't make it not your problem anymore.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: The war is on your kitchen counter.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: Nobody else is going to come to fight it there.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: Not the government, not the FDA, not your doctor, not your wife or your husband.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: That's your counter, your hands, your mouth.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: They set the trap.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: You're still the only one who can walk away from it.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: This one's going to make some people pissed off and I don't care.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: Someone along the way, somewhere along the way, you picked up an idea.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: It sounds compassionate, it sounds evolved, and it has probably cost you ten years.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: The idea is this.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: I have to fix what's broken inside me before I can fix what's broken outside me.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: Well, from the root cause, you find it.
7:39
SPEAKER_00: Now get to why you eat.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: Work through the thing with your father, understand the trauma.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: Then once you're healed, once the inside is right, the body's going to follow.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: I want to be careful here, so listen to one thing.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: If you're in therapy, stay in therapy.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: If you have real trauma and you're doing what work, that work with the professional, that's not weakness, that's maintenance on the most valuable equipment you own.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: And I respect the hell out of it.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Keep going, I mean that.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: But don't let it be the gate.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: Because here's the trap, and it's a beautiful trap.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: It's the most comfortable trap ever built for a man like you.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: And as long as the healing has to come first, the eating never has to change today.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: You get to feel like you're working on yourself while you order the same thing you ordered last Friday, and you've turned self-work into a waiting room.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: I need to say the hard part.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: You might not have this time.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Now you're 52, 56, 58, 50, whatever, 40, whatever, 60 or more.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: Do the actual arithmetic on how many high function years are in front of you if nothing changes.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: Not lifespan, but health span.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: Years where you can pick up a grandkid or carry your own bag or your own kids or suitcase or a grocery bag out of the car, or sleep through the night, get up off the floor without a plan.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: You do not get to spend six more of those in a waiting room, working your way towards being emotionally ready to eat an egg.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: And now the part nobody tells you, which is the actual shift.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: It runs the other way.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: The body is not downstream of the mind, not entirely and not even mostly.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: When your blood sugar stops starts, excuse me, stops slamming up and crashing down eight times a day, your mood actually stabilizes.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: When systemic inflammation drops, the fog lifts.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: When you sleep deep instead of shallow, your emotional regulation comes back online.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: When you keep one promise to yourself fourteen days straight, your self respect returns.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't return as a feeling, it returns as evidence.
9:55
SPEAKER_00: Men walk into therapy carrying anxiety, low mood, no drive, and a real percentage of that is not psychological, it's metabolic.
10:04
SPEAKER_00: It's a chemistry that got labeled character.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm not telling you food fixes your childhood.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you that you will do the hard inside work better, faster with a clearer head from inside a body that's not constantly on fire.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: So flip the order.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: Do not heal then eat.
10:24
SPEAKER_00: Eat and heal at the same time, starting tonight, starting right now in the body you actually have.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: You go in once a year.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: You sit on the paper, it crinkles, they take the blood, they take the pressure, they come back in and they say the sentence, the most dangerous sentence in American medicine.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: For your age, these numbers are pretty normal.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: Normal.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: Compared to what?
10:49
SPEAKER_00: Compared to a population where roughly three out of four adults are overweight or obese.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: Where someone around one in three, somewhere around one in three has a fatty liver.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: Where over a hundred million people are diabetic or pre-diabetic, and most of them have not been told.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: That's the reference range.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: That's the curve you just got graded on.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: You didn't get told you were healthy, you got told you're average.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: And average is on fire.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: Now, I need you to be square with you because I need to not sell you a lie to make the point.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm not a doctor.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm not telling you to walk away from a prescription.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: If you're on blood pressure medication, on a statin, on metformin, you don't stop taking it because a guy on the internet with a camera got loud.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: That's not courage.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: That's stupid.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: And it can kill you.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: Here's what a man does instead.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: You go back in, you sit down and you say this out loud to your doctor.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm changing what I eat, all of it, starting right now.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: I want a full panel today as a baseline, and I want to be retested in 90 days.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: And when those numbers move, I want you to walk me down off of these medicines, medications on your schedule with your supervision.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: That's not defiance, that's command presence in a doctor's office.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: Because here's what nobody puts in the pamphlet.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: Most of them will not open that conversation with you.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Not because they're corrupt, but because they have 11 minutes, a full waiting room, and 30 years of evidence that men your age don't follow through anyway.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: They're not lying to you, they've just stopped expecting anything from you.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: Same as everybody else.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: Listen for this word in your own mouth this week, and I'm not going, it's going to show up more than you think.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: Deserve.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: I work 60 hours this week.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: I deserve this.
12:42
SPEAKER_00: I've had a brutal week.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: I deserve a night off.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm 55 years old.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: I've earned the right to enjoy myself.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: Every one of those sentences is true.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: And every one of those sentences is being used against you.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: You're using them against yourself because look at what you're attaching it to.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: You worked 30 years, you raised the kids, you made the payments, you showed up when you didn't want to, and that's real.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: You did earn something.
13:07
SPEAKER_00: So what did you decide to collect?
13:10
SPEAKER_00: You decided to collect a substance that inflames your joints, fogs your brain, wrecks your sleep, and adds two more years to how long it takes you to get up off that floor.
13:23
SPEAKER_00: That's not a reward.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: That's a fine.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: You volunteered to pay.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: Run the word all the way out and see if you still like it.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: Do you deserve to be the guy your kids have to plan around?
13:35
SPEAKER_00: Do you deserve to be the one who cannot do the hike so nobody books the hike?
13:40
SPEAKER_00: Do you deserve to be the man your wife starts quietly managing instead of leaning on?
13:46
SPEAKER_00: Do you deserve the last decade spent in waiting rooms and parking structures on the phone with a pharmacy on a schedule set by other people?
13:54
SPEAKER_00: Because that's the actual package.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: It's not the pastry.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: The pastry is the trailer.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: Now here's the shift.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: You do deserve something.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: And you're right about that.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: But you got the wrong list.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: You deserve to wake up at five without an alarm and without pain.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: You deserve to walk into a room and have it register.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: You deserve a mind that stays sharp through a four o'clock meeting.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: You deserve to be the strongest man on your street at fifty eight, which, and I want you to hear how low the bar is, is a nearly empty category.
14:27
SPEAKER_00: That's the reward.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: That's what's always been the reward.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: You've been chasing a thirty year career for a thirty second flavor.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: Now we get practical because this is the one that actually stops men.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: You start thinking about doing this, and immediately you start grieving the ketchup, the mayonnaise, the dressing on the salad, the oil you cook everything in, bread with dinner, bread to sop up the sauce, something fried on Friday, the pastry with the coffee, the ice cream of tin, the chips, the thing you eat standing up in the kitchen that you don't even count because you didn't sit down for it.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: And you feel the loss in advance.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: That's real.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: I felt it.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: I still feel that drive.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: This is genuine grief.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: It's a genuine grief response, and it's worth naming instead of pretending that somehow you're going to escape it.
15:19
SPEAKER_00: So here's what you do with it.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: You do the math on what you're already actually losing.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: Look down.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: Right now, sitting there watching this, look down at yourself.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: What is it that those things brought you?
15:32
SPEAKER_00: And that's not a metaphor, that's the receipt.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: Every one of those items is on the receipt.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: The ketchup is on there, the oil on there somewhere, 20 years of Friday nights are on there.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: It's all itemized, and you're wearing it.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: So run it forward.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: Six months from now, you're eating beef, chicken, eggs, fish, and vegetables.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Nothing with a label, nothing in a wrapper.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: And you look down, what are you missing?
16:00
SPEAKER_00: Not what did you give up, but what are you missing?
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Nothing.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: You are missing nothing.
16:06
SPEAKER_00: You're not going to miss a single thing.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: You're going to look down at a body that works and try to remember what was so important about a condiment.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: That's the whole reframe.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: And I want you to hold it because your brain is going to try to run the old math on you at 7.40 tonight.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: When the old math says I'm giving something up, the new math says I'm done paying for something I never wanted.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm done paying for something I never wanted.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: You're not on a diet.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: Nobody is taking anything from you.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: You are canceling a subscription you didn't know you had, that's been billing you for 20 years in joints and sleep and dignity.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: You did not grieve a canceled subscription.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: Now here's where people expect the complicated part.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: The macros, the tracking app, the scale, the window, the plan.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: There's no complicated part.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: My God, beef, chicken, eggs, fish, vegetables.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: That's the entire protocol.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: You could put it on a business card and have room left over.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: If it has an ingredient list, don't eat it.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: Just because an ingredient, just not because ingredient lists are evil, but because of what ingredient lists mean.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: It means something got assembled.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: It means a company inside a series of decisions about what would keep you coming back, and none of those decisions were made in your interest.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: A ribeye doesn't have an ingredient list.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: An egg doesn't have an ingredient list.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: Broccoli has never had a nutrition label negotiated by a marketing department.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: That's the filter.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: One question, three seconds at the store, at the drive-thru, at your mother's in-law's house.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: Did this come out of the ground or off an animal or did it come off a line?
17:53
SPEAKER_00: And now let me kill the other objection because it's the one you're holding on to right now.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: You think this is going to be miserable.
18:02
SPEAKER_00: You're picturing plain old chicken breast in a plastic container, steamed broccoli, no salt, eaten with the resentment at your desk.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're not a bodybuilder cutting, and if you are, you don't have a problem doing that.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: That's not the food.
18:16
SPEAKER_00: That's what people eat when they're punishing themselves.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: A ribeye steak with a hard sear and salt, eggs cooked in butter, thighs with the skin crisped, salmon skinned down on a hot pan, bacon, real bacon, no sugar cured bacon, steak and eggs at seven in the morning with no plan for lunch because you're not hungry until two.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: That's the food.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: The stuff you're grieving is not the delicious stuff.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: The stuff you're grieving is the engineered stuff.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: It only tastes like that because chemists made it taste like that.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: And it only feels necessary because it made itself necessary.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: 90 days in, the real food tastes like more than it used to.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: And the old stuff tastes like a candle.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: I didn't believe that either.
19:07
SPEAKER_00: Then it happened.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: You string five clean days together, maybe seven.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: You feel it's starting to work.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: Pants sit differently.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: You slept through the night for the first time in a while.
19:17
SPEAKER_00: And what is the very first thing your brain does?
19:21
SPEAKER_00: Of course it starts looking for the off ramp.
19:24
SPEAKER_00: It wants an exit.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: It wants to call in on a phone and get taken back to the ship on the matrix.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: I've earned Saturday, you tell yourself.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: One day's not going to hurt.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: You have to live a little.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: My God, you can't keep like eating like this forever.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Listen to that voice, not the words, the tone.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: That is not you talking.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: That's the thing talking.
19:47
SPEAKER_00: And it's using your own voice and it's being extremely reasonable.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: And it's telling you it only wants one thing, one afternoon.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: This is exactly what it said the last 400 times.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: Think how insane that concept is when you move it one category over.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: Nobody looks a guy who's nine days off the bottle and says, Great job, go get hammered on Saturday because you earned it.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: Nobody hounds a man who just quit smoking a pack on Friday as a reward for Monday through Thursday.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: We understand it perfectly with every other substance.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: We understand what the reward cannot, that the reward cannot be the substance.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: That's not controversial.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: That's not a controversial idea in any room.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: But with food, we invented a whole culture around it and gave it a friendly name.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: My God, watch TV for a few minutes.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: Watch the commercials.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: Cheat day.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: Cheat.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: That's the word we picked.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: And we say it grinning, like we're getting away with something.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: But who exactly are you cheating?
20:49
SPEAKER_00: There's nobody else in this.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: You're the one waking up with your pain.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: Nobody gets fooled.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Nobody loses but you.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: And here's what that cheat day actually does.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: Mechanically, which is worse than the calories, eat resets the negotiation.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: So for five days, you're a man who doesn't eat that.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: Full stop, no debate.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: Close question.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: On Saturday afternoon, you became a man who sometimes eats that.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: And now every single day for the rest of your life is a negotiation because you prove that the door can be opened.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: You can fit through.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: The door opens.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: That's the whole lesson your brain took.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: You did not eat a pizza.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: You reopened a case that you'd already closed.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: Closed questions are easy.
21:31
SPEAKER_00: Open questions will exhaust you until you quit.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: Kill the cheat day.
21:36
SPEAKER_00: Not because you're being hard on yourself, but because it's the single most expensive thing on the schedule and it's disguised as the fun part.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: This is the one that got me.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to tell it straight.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: You've told your kids to finish what they start.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: Maybe your kids have moved on, maybe they're somewhere else, maybe they're adults, but that was probably part of it.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: Finish what you start.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Told them nobody's coming to save them.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: You've told them that discipline is the difference.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: Then you show up that you show up when you don't feel like it.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: That's your material.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: You've delivered it more than once, and you meant every word, and they've watched you announce a new start out loud at the table, and then they watch Saturday, and they watched you announce it again in January 1st and Saturday, and they're not keeping a ledger to be cruel.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: They're not thinking about it much at all.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: But there is a file in their head with your name on it.
22:34
SPEAKER_00: And every one of those cycles went in.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: And what they took from it is not dad struggles with food.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: What they took from it is the shape.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: Declare hard, fold quietly, say nothing about it, restart later.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: That's a complete behavioral template.
22:54
SPEAKER_00: And you didn't teach it with words, you taught it with your body over years, and they will run it on their own hard thing.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: Their business, their marriage, their own quit.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: This is the inheritance nobody puts in a will.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: Now flip it because this cuts the other way just as hard.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: This is the real reason to do it.
23:14
SPEAKER_00: Imagine what it does to a 26-year-old to watch their father at 56 with everything against him.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: Thirty years of habit, bad knees, a full schedule, no support, and nobody expecting a thing, decide one Tuesday and then never break.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: Not talk about it.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: Do it for a year quietly.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: They will never forget that.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: It becomes the thing they reach for at their own worst hour.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: My old man did it at fifty six with nothing going for him.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: And they will not tell you that is what they're thinking about.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: You will never get credit in real time.
23:53
SPEAKER_00: You don't need the credit.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: This is the highest leverage thing left available to you.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't require money, a gym, a coach, or a single conversation.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: It requires you not eating something.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: Here's the last comfort you're going to lose today.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: You look around and feel about yourself.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: Bob has a gut.
24:16
SPEAKER_00: Dave is on two pills.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: Jim got a stint last year.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: Everybody at the barbecue looks about like you look.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: So you're fine.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: You're mid-pack.
24:28
SPEAKER_00: You're mid-pack in a pack that's dying.
24:31
SPEAKER_00: Look at where the pack is actually going.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: Watch the conveyor belt because it only moves one direction and nobody ever gets off of it.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: It starts at the grocery aisle.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: It moves to the annual physical.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: It moves to the first prescription, which is always described as just a small thing, just a low dose, just to get the number down.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: Then a second one, then a specialist, then a word procedure, then a walker in the garage that everybody pretends is temporary, then a facility with a name that sounds like a resort.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: That is the belt.
25:04
SPEAKER_00: Every man at the barbecue is on it and a different mile marker.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: And not one of them has ever ever considered stepping off because everybody they know is on the same damn conveyor belt.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: Being average in that group is not safety, it's camouflage.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: It hides the fact that you are in the same line at the same speed, holding the same ticket.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: The comparison you're making is the coward's comparison.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: And I have made it, so I know exactly what it's for.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: It's not information, it's anesthesia.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: So comparing yourself to men who quit, compare yourself to the man you were at 31 and go get him back.
25:43
SPEAKER_00: Because he's not gone.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: He's just buried under all of your fat.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: And that's a completely different problem with a completely different solution.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: Now, the objection I haven't answered yet, the real one, the one under everything.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: You've tried.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: You have tried this, not once, not twice.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: You've tried more times than you would ever say out loud because every single one of those failures is sitting in the room with you right now.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: And their whole job is to tell you this attempt is also going to end the same way.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: So let me hand you the only thing that ever helped me with that.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: Think about something you actually did quit.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: Was it cigarettes?
26:25
SPEAKER_00: Was it the bottle?
26:26
SPEAKER_00: Was it chewing tobacco?
26:27
SPEAKER_00: The dip?
26:28
SPEAKER_00: Something?
26:29
SPEAKER_00: Is there something in your life you finally put down for good, never to repeat again?
26:34
SPEAKER_00: Maybe toyed with the idea, but completely stopped never to do it again.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: Now tell me why that time worked.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: I bet you can't.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: Nobody can.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: It was not the best planned attempt either.
26:49
SPEAKER_00: My God, some of these attempts are just lavished with all sorts of extraordinary processes.
26:57
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't the one with the most support or best timing or the strongest motivation either.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: Half of the time, it was a random Tuesday with nothing special at all.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: You had quit 40 times with a plan, and the one that stuck didn't have a plan.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: And here's what that means, and I think it's the most useful thing in this whole video.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: You cannot identify the successful attempt in advance.
27:22
SPEAKER_00: It does not feel different when it starts.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: It only becomes the one that worked in retrospect after enough time passes, which means every single attempt you have made was not a failure.
27:33
SPEAKER_00: It was a required attempt in a sentence you cannot see the end of.
27:38
SPEAKER_00: You're not a guy who keeps failing.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: You're the guy who has not stopped attempting.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: And those are opposite men wearing the same face.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: And this is the fork.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: The only way you guarantee you never hit the one that works is to stop attempting, stop trying.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: That's the only losing move on the board.
28:00
SPEAKER_00: It's not relapse.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: Quitting the sequence.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: So this one right now, the one you're thinking about starting because of this video, this might be it.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: It might not.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: You might not start for 18 months.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: You know, start it anyway.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: Because number 401 is unavailable to a man who quit at 400.
28:21
SPEAKER_00: You think you've blown it.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: The damage is done, the back is shot, the knees are gone, 20 years of this, might as well ride it out and enjoy what's left.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: Here's the actual clinical truth, and it's better news than you have allowed yourself.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: You have not hit critical mass.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: Your liver, it regenerates.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: Fatty liver reverses, and it reverses quickly in weeks, not years.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: When you cut the fructose and the seed oils and the alcohol, insulin sensitivity comes back with remarkable speed.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: Once you start ham stop hammering it six times a day by what you eat, blood pressure moves inside of a month, systemic inflammation drops in under a couple weeks, your skin turns over, your gut lining turns over.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: Your body is not a car with 190,000 miles on it.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: It's a construction site that's been receiving garbage materials for two decades and it never stopped building.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: You give it steel and it builds with steel, starting with tonight's delivery.
29:19
SPEAKER_00: But hear the second half of that sentence because I'm not going to hand you comfort and walk away.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: Not yet is not the same as not ever.
29:28
SPEAKER_00: There's a line and it's real and it has a date on it that you don't get to see.
29:35
SPEAKER_00: It's the amputation.
29:37
SPEAKER_00: It's the event on the kitchen floor.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: It's the scan that comes back with a word on it that recognizes your entire, reorganizes your entire family for a year.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: You're not past it.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: You're walking towards it at known speed, and you have been given the exact location of the brake pedal.
29:58
SPEAKER_00: That's not a scare tactic.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: That's the most optimistic thing in this video.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: Everything is still available to you today, not in the spring, not after the holidays, not Monday.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: Monday is the oldest lie in this whole thing, and the calendar will keep supplying you with a fresh one every seven days until you're dead, until you're in that pine box taking a dirt nap.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: So here's what you actually do.
30:21
SPEAKER_00: And it's short because it has to be small enough to survive a bad day tonight, right now, not tomorrow night.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: One, walk into the kitchen and remove everything with an ingredient list, all of it.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: Not eat it down so it doesn't go to waste.
30:37
SPEAKER_00: That's the addiction talking again.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: And it's a good one.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: And it sounds thrifty.
30:41
SPEAKER_00: Bag it out.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: The$40 you throw away tonight is the cheapest thing you'll buy our year.
30:45
SPEAKER_00: And if you live with a whole bunch of people, they shouldn't be in that crap either.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: Put your you're running this show.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: Put your foot down.
30:52
SPEAKER_00: Two, tomorrow you eat beef, chicken, eggs, fish, and vegetables.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: One of those things and some vegetables.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: No label, no wrapper, no drive-thru, no exceptions.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: Eat as much of it as you want.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: Don't count anything.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: Don't weigh anything.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: Don't download an app.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: Salt it and cook it right and eat it.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: Three, when 9:30 hits, and it's gonna hit, and it's gonna be loud, you name it out loud.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: Say in the kitchen with nobody there.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: This is withdrawal.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: This is not hunger.
31:22
SPEAKER_00: And then drink water and then go to bed.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: And that's it.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: That's the entire skill.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: 9:30 is the whole war and it lasts about 11 minutes.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: Number four, take a picture tomorrow morning.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: Shirt off, bad lighting, the one that you don't want to take.
31:35
SPEAKER_00: Nobody sees it.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: You're not building content, you're not gonna start a channel.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you are, but again, just take the freaking picture.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: You're creating the before that makes lying to yourself impossible in six weeks.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: Number five, tell one person.
31:50
SPEAKER_00: Just one.
31:51
SPEAKER_00: One that you think you can tell, or don't tell anybody.
31:53
SPEAKER_00: It's either that.
31:54
SPEAKER_00: One or nobody.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't make a Facebook announcement.
31:59
SPEAKER_00: Don't do that.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: One human being who will look you in the eye and ask you about it.
32:05
SPEAKER_00: Days one through three are chemical.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: You'll get a headache.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna get irritable, and you're gonna feel like this isn't working.
32:13
SPEAKER_00: It's not the diet failing, that's substance leaving.
32:17
SPEAKER_00: It does end.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: Everybody tells you day four that they're right.
32:24
SPEAKER_00: Somebody has already decided how the rest of your life goes.
32:27
SPEAKER_00: Somebody watched you get older and softer and quieter and made a call about who you are right now.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: And they weren't wrong to make it because you handed them evidence.
32:36
SPEAKER_00: Don't give them the satisfaction.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: Not with a speech, not with an announcement at the table that this is over, I'm turning over a new leaf.
32:44
SPEAKER_00: Nobody needs to hear a word about this from you.
32:47
SPEAKER_00: Just don't eat it.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: That's the whole rebellion.
32:50
SPEAKER_00: It's not loud, and nobody's not going to notice for a few weeks.
32:53
SPEAKER_00: And if they do, yeah, just don't feel like it.
32:55
SPEAKER_00: Just don't eat it.
32:57
SPEAKER_00: Then everybody will notice and nobody will say anything because one of them will finally ask, and you'll get to say the best sentence available to men at our age.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: I stopped blank.
33:09
SPEAKER_00: I stopped.
33:11
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to fix your childhood first.
33:14
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to wait until January.
33:16
SPEAKER_00: You don't need a coach or a Monday or a gym or a supplement or a program or one more piece of information.
33:21
SPEAKER_00: You have all the information you need.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: You've had it for years.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: You need to not open the cabinet at 9.30 tonight or the refrigerator, and that's the whole thing.
33:31
SPEAKER_00: Everything else is downstream of that.
33:34
SPEAKER_00: I am doing this with you, not ahead of you.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: With you, same cabinet, same hour, same fight tonight, thelastaddiction.com.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: That's where the rest of it lives.
33:43
SPEAKER_00: The daily work, the log, the men doing it in real time.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: No fads, nobody's selling you powder, nobody's selling you anything, really.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: Go there tonight and then look down.
33:52
SPEAKER_00: Because in six months you're going to look down and try to remember what you thought you were going to miss.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: And the answer it's nothing.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: You're going to miss nothing.
34:02
SPEAKER_00: Now get out there and make it happen.
34:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm Connor with Honor.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: We'll see you in the next one.