Latest / What The Heck with Matt Bellassai / Bangable Popcorn Buckets, Gay Sheep, & Jojo Siwa’s Cruise?!

Transcript

Bangable Popcorn Buckets, Gay Sheep, & Jojo Siwa’s Cruise?! · What The Heck with Matt Bellassai

0:00
The one tooth that was kind of hurting is a tooth that I had a
0:03
filling in and there's a cavity under the filling.
0:06
Whose freaking fault is that? Sure as isn't mine, Dentist.
0:10
Plus, I'm not even eating anything that crazy.
0:13
My diet is 90% sugar. Welcome back to What the Heck
0:20
with Matt Bellasi, a podcast about what the heck is going on,
0:23
what the heck is happening and all the things that make me say
0:25
what the heck. There's a lot going on this
0:28
week, folks. Lot going on.
0:30
I'll tell you what, my brain not working properly.
0:35
We're struggling. We're struggling this week.
0:38
My brain is really not working in a very real way.
0:41
I went to the doctor, como SE dici El physician.
0:47
I don't know why I'm getting a little multicultural with it.
0:52
What comes after gay History Month?
0:54
It's not gay history. It turns into some some other
0:58
month and I'm sort of just getting in the mode American
1:01
History Month because July 4th, happy July 4th, everybody, it's
1:04
not going well. We're not going to last.
1:08
We made it 250 years. It's time to wrap it up.
1:11
But I went to the doctor, just had my annual physical.
1:14
And one of the things that I wanted to talk to about is like,
1:17
I'm just kind of tired all the time.
1:19
Not to brag, but I do kind of deal with constant fatigue.
1:23
And she was kind of like, how many times a week would you say
1:26
you wake up feeling fully rested?
1:27
And I was like, so that's kind of a myth, I think.
1:31
I don't think anybody is waking up fully rested.
1:34
You're telling me people are sleeping throughout the night,
1:35
waking up in the morning. You your alarm goes off and
1:38
you're like, Oh my God, can't wait to start my day.
1:41
No, I'm waking up in constant duress.
1:44
I'm waking up in dread for the day to come.
1:47
And it turns out that's not normal.
1:49
And it's not supposed to be like that.
1:52
So we are looking into a number of things.
1:54
And one of those things is that I have been on, again, not to
2:00
brag, I know I live an abundant life, but I've been on
2:03
antidepressants since I was, say, with me 16 years old.
2:07
Yeah, solid 2 decades of my life.
2:09
And I know, I know for some people, some people are like
2:12
weirdly pill averse. So, you know, you do you.
2:16
I know for some people, depression is like kind of
2:19
situational or conditional. It's like, you know, you get
2:21
depressed during the winter time.
2:23
You get depressed if you're going through like a hard time
2:25
in life. Some people just got fucked up
2:27
brains. And I got a fucked up brain.
2:29
I think I just, yeah, I've just kind of chosen to believe that,
2:35
that my brain for the past 20 years has just had a chemical
2:39
imbalance that we're fixing with, with medication.
2:42
And we've been trying to get the amounts right.
2:44
But I've been on like a very high dosage of this
2:47
antidepressant to the point where I have to like make a
2:51
special call to the pharmacy to be like, you're allowed to do
2:54
this. You have to give this to me.
2:56
My doctor said it's just a high dosage.
2:59
So I was like, maybe one of the things we can try is going down
3:01
on that because maybe that's making me feel kind of drowsy.
3:05
And when I miss one dose of this medicine, my brain feels crazy
3:10
the next day. It feels like I'm in slow
3:12
motion. It feels like everything is
3:14
like, but kind of in a scary way.
3:20
And so I was like, OK, I'm preparing to kind of feel a
3:23
little weird. And I went, we're going down a
3:25
little bit at a time. Don't just quit your anti.
3:28
You got to taper down and I'm tapering down, but it is even
3:33
the small amount that I went down by the next day I was like,
3:36
whoa, it's getting loopy up in here.
3:41
My brain feels like cotton candy at the State Fair and they are
3:46
whipping it around that little plastic cone.
3:49
I also made the brave decision cause for a second I was like, I
3:53
don't know how I'm feeling about vape.
3:54
I'm, I, I was doing weed vape and then I was kind of getting
3:58
scared of vape. And so I said, maybe I cut down
4:01
on vape. But then when my brain started
4:03
feeling kind of fuzzy and weird because of the medication thing,
4:06
I was like, maybe we do vape, maybe, maybe weed vape kind of
4:10
help brain. And so that's kind of most of
4:12
what this episode is going to sound like because of thing
4:17
happening in brain anyway. Some of the other greatest hits
4:20
at the doctor's office, I am clinically low on vitamin D
4:29
Shout out to vitamin D. She's in the sun, and I don't
4:33
like that at all. By the way, you get vitamin D or
4:36
is it like the sun helps your body produce vitamin D?
4:40
You're not absorbing vitamin D through the sun.
4:43
I sort of imagine the Teletubby baby rising in the morning and
4:47
shooting his vitamin D into me non sexually because that.
4:50
That's a child. I don't know how.
4:52
Yeah. How old is the Teletubby baby?
4:54
Son, 'cause I sort of picture the sun as being like quite an
4:58
ancient creature, in fact, older than many of us.
5:02
And so why are we portraying son as baby?
5:05
I don't really understand that. The Teletubby world, I can't get
5:08
started on the Teletubby world, what they're happening there.
5:10
My mom didn't like Teletubbies being on because they were not
5:12
promoting good values. The Teletubby babies there are,
5:16
I guess they are babies, right? The Teletubbies.
5:20
And they would just spill a bunch of pink goop all over and
5:23
then laugh about it. Do you think this is funny?
5:26
Making a mess, you've made a mess.
5:28
And then they invite their little vacuum friend over, which
5:31
they were definitely having sexual relations with the little
5:34
vacuum with eyeballs. Tinky Winky was shoving that
5:37
purple dildo inside of that vacuum cleaner for sure.
5:41
But then they would invite over the vacuum creature.
5:43
And then just the vacuum creature would also kind of
5:46
dance in the mess instead of cleaning it up.
5:47
And that's how you knew they were using him sexually because
5:50
they weren't using him for vacuum reasons.
5:52
I have a lot of thoughts about the Teletubbies, a lot of
5:55
thoughts that the world is not ready to hear.
5:58
So yeah, I'm clinically low on vitamin D Had to get a
6:00
prescription vitamin D level 50,000 UIS to be exact, which is
6:08
crazy. I don't understand how vitamins
6:10
work. I know I was talking about
6:11
vitamins on other episode. What are you, what are you
6:14
talking about that I just take like the vitamin D equivalent of
6:18
like, I don't know, 3-3 days of of straight sunlight and I could
6:24
just pop that as a pill once a week.
6:27
I don't get a once a week pill either.
6:30
Like how does it know to last a week?
6:33
I can't think about it. The other greatest hit that the
6:38
doctor said was she looked at me and she went, you've been to a
6:41
dermatologist. And I was like, no, actually.
6:43
And she was like, I tell all my pale patients to go to the
6:46
dermatologist every three years. I was like, OK, drag me.
6:52
OK. Yeah.
6:53
So I'm the palest person you've ever seen.
6:56
OK, so I'm literally a vampire. I am so used to my pale skin,
7:01
which I do believe even in pure sunlight, my skin is not going
7:05
to get like this is the color that it is.
7:08
Sorry. I I will make apologies for it.
7:11
Yeah. Am I basically see through?
7:13
Of course, there's nothing I could do about it.
7:17
Yeah, sometimes I'll post a picture of myself in like my
7:20
short shorts and people will say one person one time said they
7:24
thought I was wearing white leggings.
7:26
The one insult that has stuck with me that I got on Twitter
7:29
once, I did have a very pale look.
7:31
It I, it was in the kind of Instagram filter era.
7:35
In my profile picture was me against like an orange wall,
7:40
already pale as fuck, but then I added a filter on it.
7:43
It made me look even paler. That was my profile picture and
7:46
someone got mad at something I tweeted and so they said OK,
7:49
Casper the faggot ghost. They got me with that one.
7:54
I can't even lie. They did kind of like lethally
7:57
get me and that really planted itself right here in my brain.
8:03
But who knows, maybe as I taper down on my medication I'll start
8:06
losing memories and fingers crossed that it's only the bad
8:10
ones. I do wish I could magic school
8:13
bus my way into my own brain. I would love that shit.
8:16
No, the magic school bus. She was taking those kids in all
8:19
types of crazy places. No parent of permission form, no
8:23
slip. This was before parents could do
8:25
shit about shit. Miss Frizzle was taking those
8:28
kids right up into someone's booty hole.
8:31
Oh, I also went to the dentist this week.
8:33
I'm on a real taking care of myself kick.
8:36
So we, we went to the doctor. We went to the dentist.
8:39
Turns out I have, I don't know, cavity in every tooth basically.
8:42
And I'm like, fuck me. I've been brushing every day.
8:49
In fact, I've been flossing every day.
8:52
I didn't even have to lie. Normally you go to the dentist
8:55
and they ask you how much you're flossing or whatever.
8:56
You just, you just lie. But they know the dentist knows
9:00
too much. I don't like the dentist how
9:02
much they can tell just by looking at your teeth.
9:04
They know where you've been sucking the dentist.
9:07
The dentist can tell if you have sucked Dick in the last like 48
9:11
hours. It it's this is true.
9:13
You're looking at me like it's not true.
9:14
It is true. It's not.
9:15
This is not one of the many facts that I make up.
9:17
You do. Make up a lot of.
9:19
Facts. No.
9:20
Yeah, the dentist can tell if you've been sucking, not that
9:23
it's any of their business. I will say my friend recommended
9:26
this dentist because it's near our apartment.
9:29
And it looks like one of those dentists that is like just for
9:34
influencers to take pictures in front of.
9:36
I'm like, this is not real. And then she said that she had
9:39
some gay guy clean her teeth. And I was like, I hate it.
9:42
I need to see a picture of this gay guy before I go.
9:45
But I was like, what if I know this man?
9:47
What if we've matched on a dating app and now I'm going to
9:50
put it, he's going to put his fingers in my mouth.
9:52
What if he then conveniently finds a bunch of cavities?
9:56
Cavities that he hasn't found already?
9:58
You know what I mean? What if he's already found my
10:00
cavity? I don't know.
10:02
I need to have this facts, these facts in front of me.
10:05
It turns out I don't think I knew this gay guy.
10:07
I, I bravely went. I bravely went knowing that it
10:09
could have been a gay guy who I've known biblically and it was
10:14
fine. He did find, I believe the final
10:16
number was 5 cavities, which I think were some pre-existing
10:21
cavities that I had just kind of been maintaining.
10:24
I'm kind of not convinced the cavities are real.
10:26
I'm one of those people where I'm kind of like sometimes,
10:30
'cause then you go to a different dentist and they're
10:32
like, actually, I'm not seeing any.
10:34
Yeah, Also like, that's my, that's my holes.
10:37
Those are my holes. Don't try to fill my cavity.
10:40
Those are my little tooth pockets.
10:41
That's where I keep stuff. I just wanted to get my teeth
10:45
cleaned and I went and then they found the bunch of cavities and
10:48
I was like, I didn't even tell you to look for them, first of
10:50
all. But second of all, the one tooth
10:52
that was kind of hurting is a tooth that I had a filling in
10:56
and there's a cavity under the filling.
10:58
Whose fucking fault is that? Sure as fuck isn't mine dentist.
11:03
It wasn't his fault 'cause this was a new dentist.
11:05
It's the last dentist. But I was like, you should cover
11:08
that one for free. You didn't fill it all the way.
11:11
What do you mean something got under the filling?
11:14
How is that my fault? Unless I'm not even eating
11:17
anything that crazy? My diet is 90% sugar.
11:26
What the heck has been happening this week?
11:29
Let's get into it. We've entered, I don't know, the
11:32
third fucking week of people talking about that God damn
11:35
reflection pool. I've heard enough about it.
11:38
I don't give a fuck about that damn water.
11:40
The reflection pool, if you don't know, is that I don't
11:45
know. It's what is it outside of the
11:46
Lincoln Memorial. It's between the Lincoln
11:48
Memorial and the Washington Monument.
11:50
The Trump administration decided to like replace it because it
11:54
was getting old, but they didn't have to replace it.
11:57
I just love if you look up, it was like there was a bit as far
12:01
as I know, and I've only read headlines as far as I know, they
12:06
it was like there was kind of like a a bidding war over who
12:09
would get the contract to replace the pool to renovate it.
12:13
And it went to this guy who's this company who's owned by this
12:17
guy who is like a Trump donor. Obviously looks like the
12:21
craziest man you've ever seen in your life.
12:24
I have a picture of him. This man, Oh my.
12:28
God. This man is the villain in a
12:34
Looney Tunes cartoon. He looks like he ties women to
12:38
the railroad tracks and then twists his mustache while he
12:41
waits for the the Choo Choo to take them out.
12:45
He does look like someone whose office is like the booth at an
12:48
Italian restaurant, and he that that mustache looks like it
12:53
knows the flex of a gobble ghoul.
12:55
You just know he's picked, he's picked flecks of Italian cured
13:00
meats out of that mustache 100% and probably in the last 24
13:04
hours. So, yeah, no surprise that it
13:07
kind of didn't work out. And now it's peeling and they're
13:10
blaming like vandals. I just, but I just, I can't
13:13
really be bothered with that. I'm so sorry.
13:16
All due respect to people who are following this story and
13:18
covering it. You know, it's like, first we're
13:21
kind of joking, but then it's kind of like, oh, right.
13:22
It is also kind of fascism. And so it's like, yes, I respect
13:27
the journalists who are doing the good work to kind of track
13:30
all of this down, but also I can't really be bothered with
13:32
all that. Everyone calm down.
13:35
I don't care if that damn water is green.
13:37
What I do love that the bars, Washington, DC is such a a
13:41
fascinating place because the people there are all kind of
13:45
suffering from the same mental illness of thinking that they're
13:48
kind of the center of the universe.
13:51
Yeah, in a scary way. But I do love that, like the
13:54
second a story kind of like breaks that is big in like
13:58
political circles, the bars in Washington, DC will start coming
14:03
out with drink specials. There was a reflection pool
14:06
drink special and it was like beer.
14:09
Why would I never know how to say that?
14:10
Damn drink cure Curacao. Cure cure cow.
14:17
Blue cure Cow. It's named after an island or
14:21
something. Curacao.
14:23
But anyway, yeah, there was a reflection reflection pool drink
14:28
that was like blue Curacao, a piece of like blue, like fruit
14:34
roll up to look like the tarp in it and like Mountain Dew look
14:39
disgusting. But I I just love that the
14:41
people of Washington, DC are doing that.
14:44
It is crazy. It's like, of course there's L
14:47
like LG. That's a hard word to say.
14:50
It's a Midwesterner LG Of course it's there.
14:54
OK, It's a fucking swamp. I know.
14:57
I feel like we've gotten away from that because, you know, the
15:00
word swamp has come to have political meaning in Washington
15:04
DC, but it like it is literally swampland.
15:07
Anybody who has been to Washington DC, it's humid as a
15:10
fuck. I went when I was in high school
15:13
because I won an essay contest sponsored by the Colonial Dames
15:18
of America. I think it's like a RIP RIP off
15:23
of the Daughters of the American Revolution or something.
15:27
And they sponsor an essay contest that I won for my
15:30
school. And it came with like a trip to
15:33
Washington, DC for a week of like seminars for high school
15:37
students. Lame.
15:40
There was one really hot guy in it, though.
15:43
And I, it was kind of very much a gay awakening for me.
15:46
Not awakening. I was woke.
15:49
I was up already. I was very much awake by that
15:53
point. But I will say it kind of it got
15:56
me out of bed for sure. I brought that up to say, oh,
15:58
yeah. Throughout the entire week of
16:01
the seminar, which was during summer break, we had to wear a
16:05
suit and tie everywhere. And when, whenever you walk into
16:08
an office building in Washington, DC, you have to take
16:11
off your jacket and go through a metal detector.
16:13
I was taken off my jacket sopping wet.
16:16
See through, see through clothes.
16:18
That was when I met my senator, Barack Obama.
16:23
Yeah, and I was taller than him, that small bitch.
16:30
Anyway, next JoJo Siwa, child pop star turned lesbian menace,
16:38
has been at the helm of her very own JoJo Siwa Cruise, which I am
16:44
told several people are attending.
16:49
A number of videos have hit my feed of people attending the
16:52
JoJo Siwa cruise. I'm fascinated by everything
16:56
about the JoJo Siwa cruise. The fact that it exists, the
17:00
fact that people are on it. I'm like so darkly fascinated.
17:03
I want to study it. I want to write a thesis about
17:05
it. I want to like I I could get my
17:07
doctorate in JoJo Siwa studies. JoJo Siwa Logy There's a part of
17:15
me that does feel bad about poking fun at JoJo Siwa 'cause I
17:18
almost feel like, I don't know, there's some, there's some stuff
17:21
going on there that I I'm afraid to uncover.
17:24
She ultimately was like a child reality star.
17:27
Boo Hoo. I think we can all agree that
17:29
the next Tyra Banks documentary is going to be about that bitch
17:33
in the the motor scooter. What's her name?
17:35
Abby Lee Miller. I only know where is the bitch
17:38
in the motor scooter. I just know that one clip of her
17:46
where the mom comes up mind her and says you preach etiquette to
17:48
your to the kids turn off your phone in the theatre and Abby
17:52
Lee Miller goes beep beep beep. She backs up her motor scooter,
17:55
starts zooming down the sidewalk, goes to the nearest
17:57
police station to report that mom for harassment for telling
18:01
her to turn off her phone during a performance where she's parked
18:05
in the middle of the aisle on her motor scooter in on her
18:09
phone. But that damn phone of Wabby Lee
18:12
Miller. But anyway, she was terrorizing
18:14
JoJo Siwa long before JoJo Siwa became the JoJo Siwa.
18:20
JoJo Siwa. I'm so fascinated about her that
18:22
no, she's she's dating that guy from Love Island who I believe
18:26
is known as big Dick Chris. And the rumor was that they had
18:30
to like fly in special extra large condoms just for him.
18:36
They were dropping in care packages into the Love Island
18:39
villa at that time, like The Hunger Games.
18:43
They were flying in like sponsors.
18:46
But it was XL Trojans for for for big Dick.
18:49
Chris JoJo C was now long term boyfriend.
18:54
They think that I'm always this is a kind of detraction.
18:57
I'm sure other people have noted this before.
18:59
The entire brand of Trojan is is based around the Trojan.
19:04
Like Troy, the Trojan Army, the Trojan horse.
19:08
Famously the Trojan horse did not keep it broke.
19:12
And then what? And then what was inside spilled
19:15
out and one might even say impregnated the city of Troy.
19:22
How did they choose that to be the symbol of condoms?
19:28
Surely someone has made this observation before.
19:31
Anyway, so JoJo Siwa, she's on a cruise right now.
19:35
The JoJo Siwa cruise is happening.
19:37
I'm told as many as 225 people are on this cruise with her.
19:42
Now here's the thing that I learned recently.
19:46
Apparently this is not the entire boat, is not the JoJo
19:53
Siwa cruise. Some of these like entertainers
19:56
cruises, they just rent out like a bunch of rooms.
20:00
And then like program a bunch of events for those attendants, but
20:07
like you're on a cruise with a bunch of other people.
20:09
It's like still a fully blown cruise that the JoJo Siwa cruise
20:13
is just a part of. That's crazy to me.
20:17
What do you mean? I could get on a boat not
20:19
knowing that there's also a JoJo Siwa cruise happening on it.
20:23
You should have to disclose that and just imagine there are
20:28
viruses that have not been invented yet that are being
20:31
concocted on the JoJo Siwa cruise.
20:34
Someone, patient zero of something is on the JoJo Siwa
20:37
cruise and we'll find out about it in about three to six weeks
20:41
when it starts infecting the rest of us.
20:43
Those people aren't fucking. I'm so sorry.
20:48
It is so shocking to me. And again, this is, this is
20:51
crass and I don't, I don't love talking about JoJo Siwa this
20:54
way, but the fact that she is dating a guy known for his giant
20:58
Dick and coming from a reality television show that was just
21:02
about fucking that she is dating that guy.
21:04
And yet her brand is the most sexless, sort of like virgin
21:09
shit you've ever seen. No, this is like, this is one of
21:13
those things where I'm like, this is just not my culture
21:15
there. Whatever sphere that JoJo Siwa
21:18
and her people exist in, that's not my sphere.
21:22
There's not we're not over. The only, the only place that
21:26
the Venn diagram overlaps at is the exact 9 inches of Chris's
21:32
Dick and that's it. Do not be going on anybody's
21:37
cruise. Why are we going on a cruise
21:38
after everything that's happened and everything that we know
21:41
about what's happening on those boats?
21:43
Stay the fuck off those boats. Everything, nothing good is
21:47
happening on the the second I heard about the poop boat, I'm
21:51
out. You're not finding me in any
21:52
situation where I'm going to be trapped on a boat full of people
21:54
of shit. They were, they were shitting in
21:56
bags. They were shitting in bags and
22:02
making them put their bags just out into the hallway.
22:05
Second, I learned about that, you're never going to find me on
22:08
a cruise ship. Cut to me on a cruise ship in
22:10
like 3 weeks. The thing that I'll leave the
22:13
JoJo Siwa conversation on is that you know what?
22:15
If you love JoJo Siwa, if she brings you joy, if that is for
22:20
you, then then do it. And she looks like she's having
22:24
fun. She's got a big Dick boyfriend.
22:27
So good for JoJo Siwa. I'm happy for her.
22:30
I'm happy that what you know, the people who love JoJo Siwa
22:33
have the experience to be with JoJo Siwa.
22:36
I think we should be quarantining the people who are
22:38
coming off that cruise for at least three to six weeks.
22:41
But I'm happy for them. And finally, in terms of what
22:45
the heck is going on this week, Club Chalamet nearly got killed
22:50
to death by a non binary person in Paris while she was staking
22:55
out Connor Story's hotel room at Paris Fashion Week.
22:59
If that's a sentence whose words you don't recognize,
23:02
congratulations, you have better mental health than I do.
23:08
Unfortunately, I am so deeply mired in the lore of Club
23:13
Chalamet. Let's talk about it.
23:15
Club Chalamet, for the completely unaware, originated
23:19
as a Stan account for Timothy Chalamet.
23:23
OK, it was this account on Twitter that fucking loved
23:26
Timothy always tweeted about his movies.
23:30
Nobody knew who ran this account until, you guessed it, September
23:35
11th. It was like the 20th anniversary
23:40
of September 11th and the Twitter account Club Chalamet
23:44
tweeted. I remember I was at my office
23:47
when the first plane hit and everybody was like, hold the
23:50
fuck on, how old are you? Everybody assumed it was like a
23:54
teenager running this account. No, it turns out it's like a 55
23:57
year old woman and she's like a marketing executive somewhere.
24:02
She fucking loves Timothy Chalamet.
24:03
And not long after that she just kind of grew in importance on
24:08
Twitter. She could be found in any
24:10
Timothy Chalamet related, you know, event she was there.
24:15
And one of her defining things is that she fucking hates Kylie
24:18
Jenner and thinks that like Kylie Jenner's the succubus who
24:21
is like ruining Timothy Chalamet's career from the
24:24
inside. Like says nasty shit about her
24:28
and it like the that Timothy has never won an Oscar is because
24:31
like he brings Kylie to the award shows and people don't
24:34
like that she hates that woman. And it turns out Club Chalamet
24:38
has like a history of standing other people and then switching
24:42
allegiances once like a woman. Like apparently she was standing
24:46
Michael Fassbender. This, there was like a Rolling
24:49
Stone article about this. She was standing Michael
24:53
Fassbender, but then trying to sort of got off of him when he
24:56
started seeing Alicia Vikander. So there's a history of this.
25:00
So anyway, heated rivalry hits the scene.
25:03
Everybody falls in love with Connor story and Hudson Williams
25:06
and miss Club Chalamet. This is also the time of last
25:11
year that like Marty Supreme was like about to lose at the
25:14
Oscars. Timothy was, was kind of, it was
25:17
inevitable that he was going to lose and she Club Chalamet kind
25:21
of fully ditched him and was like, I'm kind of pivoting away
25:25
from the, the Chalamet fandom and I'm going to start focusing
25:28
my energy on Connor's story. Let's say, mind you, a grown
25:33
woman in her late 50s, early 60s.
25:37
Fast forward to this past week, it was Paris Fashion Week.
25:42
Connor Story was there for Yves St.
25:44
Laurent. A group of people were waiting
25:47
outside of Connor Story's hotel room and she was among them Club
25:52
Chalamet. Her name will forever be Club
25:54
Chalamet no matter who she moves on to.
25:57
And I guess this other girl or or individual who was there saw
26:02
her, recognized her and like kind of confronted her and
26:06
called her a stalker and they got into an altercation.
26:09
Club Chalamet then gets on Twitter and tweets out a like
26:13
diatribe explaining what happens.
26:17
It is, I mean, her pen is unmatched.
26:20
She is writing sentences that have never been written before.
26:23
And it was very beautiful, kind of like Renaissance kind of way.
26:27
Like she is the Leonardo da Vinci of stalking celebrities.
26:30
And I firmly believe that. Let me pull up and read part of
26:35
it. OK, so she took pictures of the
26:38
person who allegedly put her hands on her.
26:41
Also, she says that she herself, Club Chalamet was wearing.
26:45
So Club Chalmay says, let me get through this quickly.
26:48
So Club Chalmay says she happened to be in France on a
26:52
family vacation and that she calculated that she would have
26:55
enough time to kind of go up there.
26:57
Like she wasn't that staying that far away from the hotel.
27:00
And then she learned that Connor was going to be there.
27:02
And then she was like, oh, I can go over there.
27:05
It was going to be in the sunlight.
27:07
And she has been told by her dermatologist to wear a face
27:10
mask and a hat. So she says she was wearing a
27:13
dermatologist approved SP F mask and hat and basically it sounds
27:20
like this other person saw her wearing that stuff and thought
27:24
it was weird that like, oh that's Club Chalamet.
27:28
She's wearing like a mask and like sunglasses and a hat,
27:31
trying to disguise herself. She's about to do some fucking
27:35
John Hinckley Junior shit. She's about to kind of be on her
27:40
assassination mode and take out Connor's story.
27:42
Mind you, everybody who's gathered at this hotel has
27:45
something wrong with them. They are gathered there to stalk
27:49
a celebrity. But this girl kind of comes up
27:51
on club and like grabs her backpack and says I know who you
27:55
are. Like you need to leave and start
27:58
shouting like she's a stalker. She's a stalker at club says she
28:02
glared at me and said I know who you are.
28:03
I know who you are bitch, you bitch.
28:05
And she tried to remove my fucking dermatologist
28:07
recommended fucking SPF mask from my fucking face.
28:14
And I moved her hand away. What the actual fuck?
28:17
I was truly flabbergasted. I remember telling her don't
28:20
fucking touch me again. She called me a bitch again.
28:22
That's when I took her Manson Family recruitment photo, which
28:26
she includes. Yeah, she tried to remove my
28:30
fucking dermatologist recommended fucking SPF mask
28:33
from my fucking face. Like though nobody is doing it
28:40
like her. She should get to be in the room
28:43
with with Conor's story. But I, I just love that it's
28:46
like everybody there is there to stalk a celebrity.
28:50
And don't be mad, like don't hate the player.
28:53
Like she's just doing it better than everybody else.
28:56
She's the Michael Jordan of stalking celebrities.
28:58
And it's like, that is kind of the final boss of everybody who
29:01
is in that space. Like it's already weird that
29:04
you're showing up to a hotel where you know what celebrity is
29:07
just to catch a glimpse of them coming out.
29:10
I mean, I get it. It's Connor's story.
29:13
I would sort of like throw it all away for him just for a
29:18
lick. But no, she is an icon.
29:21
She has the moment and I will defend her always until she
29:24
kills someone and then depending on who it is.
29:29
Anyway, Next I think we move into a call from the what the
29:34
heck hotline. The what the heck hotline?
29:35
Of course, the number that any of you can call to leave your
29:38
what the heck of the week. The thing that's making you say
29:40
what the heck four O 7 WTH Matt, call in and leave us a message.
29:45
Let's hear from this week's caller.
29:48
Matt, I have say what the heck to the prices at Dairy Queen.
29:52
I went to buy myself a mini Blizzard and a spray and that
29:57
was $10 which I said how much does a mini Blizzard cost if
30:02
they're so small, you take 6 bites and they're gone.
30:06
That bitch is $5.79. I'm sorry, what?
30:11
What the heck, I'm over it. That's a completely valid crash
30:15
out. Thank you so much for calling.
30:17
You need to go back to that Dairy Queen and drive your car
30:20
straight through it. Just kidding, don't do that.
30:26
No, that's insane. A mini first of all, and, and
30:29
I'm so sorry, love you to our caller, but why the hell are you
30:33
getting a mini Blizzard from Dairy Queen?
30:35
Why even bother? You're paying more for gas just
30:38
to get there than the Dairy Queen Blizzard that you're
30:40
getting a mini like a mini Blizzard comes in like a Dixie
30:45
cup. I would love to know because I
30:46
know Dairy Queen is a like they franchise.
30:49
So I don't know if it's being set if the prices are set by the
30:53
franchise owner. It kind of depends on who you're
30:56
like, who you're the local Dairy Queen owner is.
30:59
My local Dairy Queen has been owned by the same couple that
31:02
hates each other for the last like 30 years every time I go in
31:06
there and they're still there. I used to go as a kid and I
31:09
still go when I'm back in Chicago and it's still the two
31:12
of them. They fucking look like they want
31:14
to kill each other. But that's how you know the ice
31:16
cream is good. I love Dairy Queen.
31:19
Dairy Queen. Please give me some free
31:22
blizzards. I got a Dairy Queen cake for my
31:26
office when Harry Styles followed me back on Twitter and
31:31
the person did such a bad job of I told I embarrassingly went to
31:35
Dairy Queen. I had tweeted out once that if
31:38
Harry Styles followed me back I would get everybody in the
31:41
office a cake, an ice cream cake, thinking that that would
31:45
spur on all of my Co workers to like join the campaign and tweet
31:49
at him. Nobody took the bait.
31:51
But then when he did follow me from my actions alone, someone
31:56
found that tweet and was like you have to go buy us cake.
31:58
So I went to Dairy Queen and I said, can you write?
32:01
Harry followed Matt and the person, the teenager that did it
32:06
squirted it on there so horrifically that when I tweeted
32:10
it, Dairy Queen, the brand messaged me and was like, we'll,
32:13
we'll send you a voucher. But I'm just saying, I've been
32:18
going to bat for Dairy Queen. I love the Queen and the King.
32:23
I've been going to bat for Burger King and Dairy Queen.
32:26
My royalty, if I will say Dairy Queen, as much as I love Dairy
32:29
Queen, they have been quite kind of giving me nothing but
32:32
heartache in the past 10 years because A, there used to be 1
32:37
Dairy Queen in Manhattan and I'd lived not that far from it.
32:41
And it closed down during COVID. And then there was only one
32:45
other last remaining Dairy Queen in the New York City boroughs
32:50
and it was in Staten Island or on Staten Island.
32:53
I don't know what you say. And producer Barry and I took
32:57
the ferry to Staten Island specifically to get Dairy Queen.
33:00
Walked in. It's in the ferry station.
33:04
We walked up. The gate had been pulled down.
33:07
People were still inside. We could see the other
33:10
customers. They were taking the last
33:12
orders. And we stood out there like
33:14
fools because Dairy Queen had denied a service for yearning
33:19
too hard for their blizzards. Said they were open at that.
33:22
Time also we checked the hours and it was open.
33:25
OK I don't play with that shit. I do my research and I showed up
33:29
and Dairy Queen said good luck bitch try again next time.
33:33
That's why you're fucking going out of business because you
33:35
treat your customers like this and then you charge fucking
33:39
$10.00 for a mini Blizzard. What?
33:41
I want to know what flavour this person got before I get too
33:44
upset. I always have the same order.
33:46
I used to go to Dairy Queen so much they I could order the
33:49
usual and they would know that's sad.
33:54
And it was a medium chocolate extreme Blizzard extra brownie,
33:57
easy blended. That's how they said to say it.
34:00
Easy blended, extra brownie, easy blended.
34:03
Because sometimes they blend it too much and then it's like the
34:05
cake shake. You just kind of are getting
34:07
like grain. I want chunk.
34:15
Moving on to my what? The hecks of the week, all the
34:19
things that are making me say what the heck this week first,
34:22
I've been seeing a lot of shit of people who are afraid to
34:26
cross bridges. What is going on with you?
34:30
I'm seeing people who I've seen a lot of videos of people who
34:33
have to like pull over before they enter a long bridge on like
34:38
in the car because they're having a panic attack.
34:41
There was one woman I saw and I'll have to look up the video
34:44
to play it, who's screaming her face off.
34:46
Her kids are all around her being like mom, calm down.
34:48
Calm down. Because she is being like, Oh
34:50
my. God, I can't.
34:56
Fucking say Oh my God, don't do this to me.
34:57
Why are you? Doing this, Mom, calm the fuck
35:05
down. Hang up.
35:06
Shut up, shut. Up there is one bridge I, I
35:10
almost, I can't remember if it's somewhere in like Georgia or if
35:16
it's in like Australia that like it's a super long bridge and
35:22
it's a pretty flat close to the water bridge.
35:25
So it does look like you're just driving on the ocean.
35:29
There is this kind of optical illusion where it looks like
35:31
you're driving off a Cliff essentially.
35:34
And I get that, but also like just drive and shut up.
35:37
I just, I'm like, what is some people are driving too crazy And
35:42
I in a, in a way that I'm like, you have to pass some type of
35:47
psychological test before you're allowed to get behind the wheel
35:50
and cross a bridge. There was one video, 'cause I
35:53
get a lot of videos of like police Cam footage.
35:58
I don't love it, OK, but I watch a lot of videos of like Karen's
36:03
getting kind of owned by the police and it's one of those
36:07
real kind of lose, lose situations.
36:09
I don't really know who to root for.
36:12
I'm kind of not rooting for anybody, but I do.
36:14
I do like seeing people get humbled.
36:16
But there was this video of this woman getting pulled over
36:20
because she had pulled over before a bridge and the cop had
36:24
to be like, hey, So what the heck is going on?
36:27
And she was like, I'm like freaking out.
36:29
I have to cross this bridge to get to where I'm going.
36:31
But like, I don't, I can't do it.
36:33
And he's like, OK, well, we have to kind of get move in, but I'll
36:37
follow you. It's going to be all right.
36:39
He kind of talked her down. And that was like a nice one.
36:41
But I was like, girl, if you don't cross that damn bridge,
36:45
I'm going to like, just cross the fucking bridge.
36:49
And then then we get a story that's like, hey, this bridge
36:51
collapsed with a bunch of people on it.
36:52
And it's like, well, fuck, I thought I was doing a good job
36:57
convincing everybody. And then the bridge had to fall
36:59
down. No, the most bridges are fine.
37:02
You'll be fine. Not like the bridges I built in
37:06
physics class. That was in physics.
37:09
We had to build a bridge out of toothpicks, I think it was.
37:14
It was like popsicle sticks. Yeah.
37:17
And I made the unfortunate choice of using hot glue to
37:21
secure my bridge because I was a gay child and had only had
37:24
access to the gay instruments my family didn't have, like, power
37:30
tools. We had hot glue guns, and so I
37:33
used that and my bridge broke immediately.
37:36
And my physics teacher was like, what did you use?
37:40
And I was like, hot glue. And he was like, oh, yeah,
37:44
that's your problem. It's made to be basically
37:46
bendable. Anybody who's ever touched hot
37:51
glue, it gets hot immediately. But it is essentially like still
37:54
kind of a liquid even when it dries.
37:57
Just a real sticky one. But anyway, cross the bridge.
38:00
You're embarrassing us next. People who are getting stuck on
38:06
amusement park rides. You brought that on your damn
38:09
self. Get off that damn ride.
38:12
I don't, I don't have any sympathy for you if you're stuck
38:14
on a roller coaster upside down. I saw like at least five stories
38:18
this week of amusement park rides that have gotten stuck
38:22
with people in like upside down positions.
38:24
Then there was someone, unless it was AI, didn't look into it
38:26
too much of someone threw their kid out of Splash Mountain while
38:31
it was going down the log board. So wait, we got to look that up.
38:40
I don't think they died so I can laugh about it, but.
38:43
Disneyland guest went over the waterfall on Tiana's Bayou
38:47
Adventure, formerly known as Splash Mountain, inside the
38:50
Southern California theme park. The teen boy appeared to be in
38:53
the back of the ride car as it approached the iconic 50 foot
38:57
drop when he suddenly tried to get out.
38:59
He got. Captured Sunday and obtained by
39:01
TMZ, the video then shows the boy plunge down the water track
39:05
to the bottom base of the ride. Why are you doing that?
39:09
You can't be doing that. But but yeah, no.
39:12
So teenager kind of jumped off of Splash Mountain for some
39:16
reason. Formerly, no Moana's adventure.
39:19
Is it Tiano Tiano's Bayou Tianna?
39:26
Sorry, I have Keanu Reeves on the mind.
39:29
But yeah, there was this this park people got stuck.
39:33
Let me see these. This one is like the swings and
39:37
they they were just kind of suspended up in the air.
39:39
That one's not as bad. Some people.
39:41
There was another one where people were like it was kind of
39:43
a roller coaster situation and they were stuck upside down and
39:46
they had to they had to do a crane up to the thing and then
39:50
get them to like walk down a ladder.
39:52
You will not catch me in any situation like that.
39:55
I don't like a roller coaster. I don't want to like microdose
39:58
having nausea. I don't.
40:00
I don't want to feel like an astronaut, even for a little
40:03
bit. I don't like when the car goes
40:05
down a hill too fast and you feel that kind of dropping in
40:08
your stomach. I don't like that at all.
40:10
The other thing is, do astronauts just feel that
40:13
feeling always. I don't know, I can't think
40:16
about it or I'll throw up. But yeah, get get off of those
40:21
amusement park rides. I The closest thing I got to
40:24
being on a roller coaster was on the stationary Avatar ride at
40:29
Disney World. I screamed so loud I apparently
40:33
ruined it for the child next to me.
40:35
First of all, little kid, I'm on drugs.
40:38
OK, so this is way more real to me than it is to you.
40:43
If you don't know the Avatar ride at Disney World, you're
40:47
sitting on what is essentially like a mechanical bull that's
40:52
pulsing, but it's got sensors in it that pulses at you.
40:56
So not only is my hymen getting stroked, so it's I'm sexually
41:01
aroused, but also you're basically you're in kind of like
41:04
3D goggles on a mechanical bowl looking at an IMAX screen where
41:09
you're going, you're like swooping down.
41:11
It's like the ride of the Banshee you're flying.
41:13
On a banshee. Yes, you're flying on a banshee.
41:16
And I was screaming my face off, genuine terror.
41:21
And as we were leaving, tears were streaming down my face.
41:24
Still, I heard the little boy behind me say Sometimes when
41:27
people scream it ruins it for everybody.
41:31
He said that loud enough to his mom that I could hear.
41:35
And I was like, I get I'm sorry that happened to you, but I was
41:38
scared. I'm sorry.
41:45
I'm so sorry little boy, but like I was genuinely fighting
41:47
for my life. You were so.
41:50
Scared it was. So funny.
41:52
And then and then Barry got stuck in the ride and like the
41:55
safety bar didn't come down after it ended and she got stuck
41:58
in it. A worker had to come and rescue
42:01
her. It was so scary.
42:03
But I can emphasize enough how much on the Avatar ride, you do
42:07
not leave the ground. You are.
42:09
It's you're on a stationary. Like it moves underneath you
42:13
like a mechanical bull. Not not as wildly as a
42:16
mechanical bull and more like an arcade ride, but like it's
42:20
immersive enough for a person on marijuana.
42:25
And and yeah, we've ever. Had.
42:28
Not only was I, you know, an edible deep, but I had had a
42:32
number of alcoholic beverages, one of them including an
42:35
espresso martini. I had four.
42:36
Locoed myself before the Avatar ride.
42:40
Been walking all day. You know who God only knows what
42:44
foods I have floating around. I mean, how many churros I've
42:46
got floating around in me? So yeah, fuck you, kid.
42:51
Next, the stuff that's happening with popcorn buckets at movie
42:55
theaters is getting too out of control.
42:58
I do believe popcorn buckets, like novelty popcorn buckets,
43:03
are kind of what they're kind of like.
43:06
The last remaining art form that there is, the only true
43:10
remaining craft for our artisans is making popcorn buckets.
43:17
And guess what? Everyone's trying to fuck them.
43:20
OK, there's one guy on Twitter who every time they have novelty
43:24
bucket comes out, he buys it and he fucks.
43:26
It is. That real?
43:31
Yeah, there is one kind of gay Twitter celebrity who is known
43:36
for fucking novelty popcorn buckets, and I need to.
43:40
I cannot emphasize enough for the straight listeners that I'm
43:44
not seeking out this content. This is not.
43:47
I do believe that gay Twitter especially is one of those
43:51
places where it is there is like a monoculture on gay Twitter.
43:55
Sort of like if one person on gay Twitter is seeing something,
43:58
it's like everybody is seeing it.
44:00
I'm not just in a weird corner of the Internet where someone's
44:03
fucking novelty popcorn buckets. Unless that weird corner happens
44:08
to be all of gay Twitter. Anyway, I saw the bucket, the
44:13
novelty bucket, allegedly the novelty popcorn bucket for the
44:17
Odyssey. And it is 3 feet tall.
44:21
It is a three feet tall replica of the Trojan horse replica of
44:26
the Trojan horse. And it like, you know, it's got
44:30
it's got popcorn inside of it. But what was the other?
44:34
The one of them looked like the dune one.
44:36
That's what kicked it off. The dune one kicked it off.
44:39
That was was essentially a flush yeah, that one looks so clearly
44:42
like a flashlight. That was like OK, and that's
44:45
kind of water was like OK, well will I be able to fuck the next
44:48
one? And then there was another O the
44:51
Supergirl 1. The Supergirl, you just see it
44:54
but. The Trojan horse one, it comes
44:56
out of its stomach. Yeah, it's.
44:58
Like, yeah, that's where the guys come out.
44:59
I know. It's just weird.
45:01
Yeah. So I'm like, do you have to hold
45:03
it upside down to get the popcorn out?
45:05
And how much is it? I.
45:08
Think or it's not for sale yet so people don't know. $70.
45:14
But also, is it real? It's like a.
45:16
Happy Meal toy for. Adults, you know what, the
45:20
second you said that just now I'm it kind of changed my whole
45:24
perspective. I'm like, wow, yeah it is, but.
45:29
Happy meals cost like $2.00. Right, $2.00 and this cost?
45:33
70. But that's the thing, it's like
45:35
it almost doesn't matter that the popcorn it like comes out of
45:38
the stomach. It's it's I remember even when
45:41
we got the wicked one, it was like the guy was like, do you
45:43
want me to put the popcorn in it or do you want the popcorn
45:46
separate? And you just take this and it's
45:47
like you're kind of defeating the purpose of the popcorn
45:50
bucket. Sir, look up the Supergirl one.
45:53
It's disgusting. It looked like human flesh.
45:57
Instead of the superhero Cape coming off, it was the human
46:00
flesh coming off to reveal the, like, the superhero Superman
46:05
costume beneath it. And it's so disgusting.
46:07
It looks like it looks like a pee pee.
46:10
Yeah, it looks like a big fat cock from from behind.
46:15
It was supposed to be your leather jacket.
46:19
They showed it to David Cornswat, the Superman, the the
46:22
latest Superman. And he was like, I don't like
46:24
that one bit. I do love him.
46:28
Next, the stuff that Midwestern people are doing with the word
46:33
salad is diabolical and we need to look into it and put a stop
46:38
to it. What do you mean a snicker
46:40
salad? The people of Minnesota,
46:43
Wisconsin, and Michigan are doing stuff with salads that
46:47
will kill someone that has claimed lives and will claim
46:51
them again. This snicker salad is one that
46:54
comes to mind, which I think is specifically a Minnesota thing
46:58
that is basically a like Snickers marshmallow fluff.
47:05
I don't know if there's like jello in there somewhere.
47:08
Let me look up the recipe for Snicker Salad.
47:11
Snickers salad is a popular Midwestern salad made with
47:15
chopped Snickers bars, naturally Granny Smith apples, and a
47:20
creamy base of instant vanilla pudding and whipped topping like
47:24
Cool Whip Anything where the one of the ingredients is an already
47:31
complete candy bar. Like the nerve of calling this a
47:36
salad. I think it's something that is
47:38
so ballsy, that's straight up disgusting.
47:44
Sicko Barfo. And they're feeding this to
47:46
people. They're feeding this to children
47:48
in the middle of the baking summer heat.
47:50
They're they're going to the barbecue and saying, here's my
47:52
Snickers salad with a straight face on.
47:56
They're bringing a Snickers salad to the barbecue and
47:58
expecting to be let in. You and your salad can go home.
48:02
And then ambrosia salad. One of our friends said that
48:05
someone she works with said that she makes and brings to work
48:09
every week an ambrosia salad, which I think is a criminal
48:12
offense. If someone threatened to bring
48:14
me ambrosia salad once a week, I would contact the authorities.
48:20
I actually don't know now that I'm thinking about it, if she
48:22
meant she makes it for herself. It's like a personal ambrosia
48:24
salad. I thought she was bringing a
48:26
community ambrosia salad. She's.
48:28
Meal planning ambrosia salad for herself.
48:33
So Ambrosia is a sweet, creamy fruit salad popular in the
48:36
American South, named after the fruit of the gods ambrosia from
48:39
Greek mythology. Classic recipes of ambrosia
48:42
salad include Mandarin oranges, pineapple, coconut and
48:45
marshmallows and a base of whipped topping, sour cream or
48:49
yogurt, often with maraschino cherries and nuts like pecans
48:52
and walnuts for texture. OK, so let's recap.
48:56
Usually it's little Mandarin oranges, pineapple, coconut and
48:59
marshmallows. OK, all of that.
49:01
So far, I'm on board with. Well, marshmallow.
49:06
Yeah. Marshmallow and what you're
49:07
calling your lunch salad. OK, I forgot we were talking
49:12
about it in the context of bringing it and as a lunch
49:15
salad, but she. Yeah, I just mean like as a dish
49:20
to bring to like a BBQ. I mean, if you're eating this as
49:23
like a dessert, I think people are eating this as like a side.
49:27
The people that I grew up with were consuming this as a side.
49:32
And so it's all of those fruits, but then combined with like sour
49:36
cream is disgusting. The idea of doing that with sour
49:40
cream, even yogurt, Well, depending on the yogurt.
49:44
If you're doing like the kind of yogurt that like tricks yogurt,
49:48
then great. If you're doing it with like
49:51
Greek yogurt, I'm going to throw up yogurt.
49:54
I wish they made colored yogurts for adults.
49:58
How come when you grow up all all yogurt is white.
50:03
I have been getting yogurt sometimes I'll get but they are
50:08
it's like they're coloring, they're coloring everything for
50:10
kids and it's like, don't give me that fruit on the bottom
50:12
ship. Mix it in so it turns out pink.
50:15
I have been getting yogurt from this one bagel place that I go
50:20
to and they it's it is pretty blue in a way that does seem
50:25
artificial and not. But I love that I'm slowly
50:29
realizing why I'm so tired all the time and it's just 'cause
50:32
I'm poisoning myself with fake yogurt while I make fun of
50:38
ambrosia salad. You know, it is the marshmallow
50:41
aspect to it that does. But marshmallows are in sweet
50:43
potato salad too. Sweet potato casserole.
50:49
I don't know. There's something about the look
50:51
of ambrosia salad that I do not think I can get past.
50:54
And that regardless of the contents, it might be fine.
51:00
I'm judging this salad not by the content of its spirit, but
51:04
by but by the colour of its skin.
51:06
Unfortunately, I'm going to go ahead and say I do not have a
51:10
dream about ambrogia salad, all due respect to MLK.
51:19
And finally, my what? The hey for the week.
51:22
My opposite of what the heck? The thing that's making me happy
51:25
this week, the main thing that's making me say what the hey, It
51:30
makes sense, just go with it. The thing that's making me say
51:33
what the hey is this guy who rescues gay sheep.
51:37
Have you heard about him? So I this was like People
51:42
magazine had a story that I saw on Instagram and I was like, Oh
51:45
my God, I cannot believe this is real.
51:48
So there's this guy who has a non profit in Germany called
51:54
rainbow wool where he saves homosexual Rams from being
51:59
slaughtered. So I basically think it's like
52:03
if the Rams refuse to fuck for like breeding, they're like
52:09
faggot, kill it, kill it and they they go to send the ram to
52:18
get killed because they're not fucking the ladies.
52:21
And this guy stepped in and said not on my watch and he's so he
52:27
rescues the gay Rams. My favorite thing about this?
52:30
It said. In 2025, the nonprofit
52:35
collaborated with Grinder to produce a fashion show of
52:38
knitwear items made from the yarn spun from their sheep.
52:45
What if the funniest things to ever happen?
52:48
You're telling me the guy who saves gay Rams from being
52:52
slaughtered, who specifically started like a gay haven for
52:55
Rams that wouldn't fuck women, use their knitwear to do a
53:02
special line for a grinder fashion show?
53:04
It doesn't get any better than that.
53:06
This is what the pride month is for.
53:10
OK Grinder presents, I Will Survive.
53:17
I did not. Oh my God.
53:19
OK I'm going to have to view these images in private.
53:24
So one of them is, I would say, a combination.
53:28
These are the sluttiest knitwear that I can imagine.
53:31
This one looks like a combination of Borat's mankini
53:34
and Britney Spears with the snake over her shoulders.
53:39
This one is. I actually like that one a lot.
53:42
The the knit, it's like a knit toga.
53:47
Oh, my God. This one is like a knight.
53:52
According to this, it says 8% of Rams exhibit exclusively
53:57
homosexual behavior. Take that, Alex Jones.
54:03
They're making the frogs gay. That's the thing.
54:09
I always am like, yeah, animals are gay.
54:13
Because when I was at, there was never a part of me that was
54:16
like, once I was like, OK, I'm gay.
54:20
I wasn't like trying to like explain it away to me was like,
54:26
why does this make sense evolutionarily?
54:29
And it's like, I think the commonly accepted rationale now
54:33
is that like in large populations, it is a form
54:37
essentially of like evolutionary population control.
54:39
And like also it's like once a species reaches a certain size,
54:45
it's no longer just about individual like preservation.
54:48
It's about the community. And it's like, I don't know,
54:51
that's beautiful to me that it's like gay people exist to help
54:56
take care of the community and like community children.
54:59
I'm not helping out those kids. But like technically that's like
55:04
that is like why you see homosexuality in like nature is
55:08
because it's like it's benefits the entire community or it's so
55:14
that they can make fierce clothes for gay people at the
55:17
the gay ram sanctuary. Shout out to the guy with the
55:21
gay sheep. Love what you're doing.
55:24
Keep it up, everybody. Everybody should be taking care
55:27
of gay animals more, I believe, even if it's a person in your
55:32
life. I am kind of the gay sheep of my
55:36
friend group. I'm kind of the homosexual ram
55:39
of my friend group and eventually they're going to
55:41
shear me and sell my wool to grinder.
55:44
Anyway, that's it. That's it for this week's.
55:47
What the heck? Thank you for listening.
55:49
Make sure you like and subscribe.
55:52
Leave us a comment, leave us a nice review.
55:54
All of it helps grow the show. As we're getting growing, make
55:57
sure you engage with the clips that we're putting out and share
56:00
them. Leave us a voicemail.
56:02
Leave us a nice note. All of those things and I will
56:05
see you next week. Bye.
56:08
This has been an episode of what the heck with Matt Bellicide.
56:11
You can call and leave us a voicemail about what's making
56:13
you say what the heck this week and you might be featured on a
56:16
future episode. Call us at 407-984-6288.
56:20
That's four O 7 WTH Matt. What the heck with Matt
56:23
Bellicide's produced by same boat studios and Bellicide
56:26
productions. It's hosted by me, Matt
56:29
Bellicide. Our executive producers are
56:30
Gabrielle Lewis, Barry Finkel and me, Matt Bellisai.
56:33
Erica Glass is our senior producer.
56:35
Our video editors are Matt Bellisai and Erica Glass.
56:38
Production designed by Erica Glass, Matt Bellisai and Barry
56:40
Finkel. Our theme music is courtesy of
56:42
epidemicsound.com. Special thanks to Truffles
56:45
Bellisai.