Latest / Terri Messenger's Genius Zone / Transform Your Mind, Body and Life
Transcript
- 0:00Yeah, but the reason why I went to see her was because of my
- 0:03stage rise. So I remember really opening up
- 0:06to her and telling her my experience and how how bad it
- 0:09was feeling when I was talking in front of, you know, all my,
- 0:14all my classmates. And the advice that she she gave
- 0:18me was basically the same advice that my mom had given me like
- 0:22one week prior to this appointment, which was just
- 0:25imagine that all all the kids in the class are cabbage hats.
- 0:32Or in. Their pajamas, they just like,
- 0:35just imagine that, you know, it's like nothing.
- 0:37And I was really disappointed and a bit disheartened and.
- 0:43But I pay $100 to hear that. No, no, it wasn't actually $100.
- 0:47It was more like, let's say $40. Yeah.
- 0:50And I was very polite, so I said thank you anyway.
- 0:53There was after that experience I decided it was the last time I
- 0:58seek the help of professional to deal with my issues, with my
- 1:03anxiety, with anything in general.
- 1:11Hey, hey, hey, and welcome to the Genius Zone.
- 1:15And we have something really super special lined up because I
- 1:20know that everyone on the entire planet needs this.
- 1:27And before I go into how epic this is going to be, I would
- 1:32like to introduce on the couch here for Terry Messenger's
- 1:37Genius Zone and Edge Radio Australia, the beautiful Ivana
- 1:43Separovic, the holistic well-being and mindfulness
- 1:49coach. Now guys, if you know Eckhart
- 1:50Tolle and you love his work, you are gonna love this show.
- 1:55So relax, sit back and let's go. Hello Ivana, how are you today?
- 2:00Hi, Terry, I'm very good and thank you for having me.
- 2:02Oh. It is such a pleasure.
- 2:04So you were saying to me backstage that you actually were
- 2:10inspired by your husband, who is, you know, a highly
- 2:15professional person. That's right, deals with people,
- 2:20that is, can I say what he does? Yes, yes, he's he's.
- 2:23So he's a lawyer And obviously in that category you're dealing
- 2:27with people and you need to have your presence.
- 2:33How important is it for both career people, parents and
- 2:39everyone to be present and grounded?
- 2:42How important do you think? I think it's the most important
- 2:46thing in our lives since if you are not present, we are
- 2:50basically constant, constantly surviving and that's not exactly
- 2:55what life should be about. We should also feel alive now
- 3:00and again and enjoy. Our.
- 3:03Living experience, it's. Such a good point.
- 3:05If we're not present in our own body and thriving, then we're
- 3:13just existing, you know? That's right.
- 3:16We're just getting through. We're just getting through, and
- 3:18that's not a good way of life. And I don't think it's a good
- 3:23recipe for success either. So when people want to be in a
- 3:28learning state, when they want to be in a success state, when
- 3:33they, you know, when they want to be in a healthy state, you
- 3:36know, some of these things that we're going to be talking about
- 3:39today are going to just be so incredibly powerful.
- 3:45And yet I love your philosophy because I have been, this is
- 3:50something that I have been talking about for probably the
- 3:55last three to four weeks in my business since my husband had
- 4:00passed away. So I really came into a mode
- 4:06where you get this kind of a wake up call.
- 4:10You come back to reality of what's really important and you
- 4:15realize that all the hustle and bustle is, you know, really what
- 4:21for? You know, you're missing the
- 4:23magic moments with people, isn't it?
- 4:26Yeah, it's a it's a distraction from what really matters.
- 4:29Yes, yes. And look, I'm going to address
- 4:32the elephant in the room here, Ivana, because you're here in
- 4:35the seat with me and we're here in Perth, WA.
- 4:38Whereabouts are you from? I was born in Slovakia.
- 4:43Right. Beautiful on the other side of
- 4:45the globe, very from here. Wow, and you're loving
- 4:49Australia, obviously. I do.
- 4:51I really feel at home in Australia now.
- 4:54It wasn't like this when of course I arrived.
- 4:58Maybe after two years I started feeling really accustomed to
- 5:02living in Perth. And now I, yes, I, I just, I
- 5:06just like it and I, I can't really imagine living.
- 5:08It's a great place to really raise kids, isn't it?
- 5:11It is, and you know, it wouldn't be.
- 5:14It wouldn't be the genius zone without the back story because,
- 5:18you know, we have a philosophy on the show that, you know,
- 5:21everyone's story is their glory. And quite often it is pain that
- 5:27actually comes from, you know, your power.
- 5:30So, you know, let's turn our pain into power.
- 5:33But, you know, over to you. Tell us your back story, Ivana.
- 5:38OK so I reckon I need to start when I was at the age of 12
- 5:42actually and I went to see a therapist since back then I was
- 5:48suffering from a really bad stage fright.
- 5:52So anytime I was talking in front of my classmates, I will
- 5:55start shaking and I could feel like, you know, I, I was going
- 6:01to faint. And back then I was also bullied
- 6:04by my by my by my classmates. I was a bit chubby.
- 6:08I was a chubby child. So you.
- 6:10Did not know that she's very poorly gorgeous.
- 6:15Anyway, yeah, but the reason why I went to see her was because of
- 6:21my stage rise. So I remember really opening up
- 6:23to her and telling her my experience and how how bad it
- 6:27was feeling when I was talking in front of, you know, all my,
- 6:31all my classmates. And the advice that she she gave
- 6:36me was basically the same advice that my mum had given me like
- 6:39one week prior to this appointment, which was just
- 6:43imagine that all all the kids in the class are cabbage hats.
- 6:50Or in. Their pajamas, they just like,
- 6:53just imagine that, you know, it's like nothing.
- 6:55And I was really disappointed and I'd be disheartened and.
- 7:00But I pay $100 to hear that. No, no, it wasn't actually $100.
- 7:04It was more like, let's say $40. Yeah.
- 7:08And I was very polite, so I said thank you anyway.
- 7:10There was after that experience I decided that was the last time
- 7:15I seek the help of professional to deal with my issues.
- 7:19I see. Wow with my anxiety with
- 7:21anything in general. Yeah.
- 7:23Can I just mention something on that note because, you know,
- 7:25obviously being a power neuro linguistic programmer, many
- 7:30people came to me the last stop and they had said the same
- 7:35thing. They said that counselors,
- 7:38psychologists did not work and the whole thing.
- 7:42And I think we're going to go a little bit into depth here is
- 7:45that when a person is having stage fright or whether it is
- 7:50fearing speaking in front of people or whatever it is, that
- 7:55kind of elicits that fear, it's because of what they're telling
- 8:00themselves. So it, it's a belief.
- 8:04So had that therapist gone well, you know, what are you actually
- 8:08telling yourself when you go out?
- 8:10And the chances are there is that fear of rejection, that
- 8:15fear of judgement, that fear of, of loss.
- 8:19And, and really that's the, the depth of it.
- 8:22I mean, it's great to imagine everyone sitting around in their
- 8:25pyjamas or, you know. It might be fun.
- 8:28It might be fun but it does doesn't work because you might
- 8:31be thinking well they might be imagining me in the same.
- 8:34Pajamas. You know, so it's really, I
- 8:37hear, I definitely hear what you say.
- 8:40So what I want to do is I really want to kick off with the
- 8:44important element of really what we're going to be talking about
- 8:48here, stepping into a journey of deep reconnection with yourself.
- 8:53Now I'm sure, what did you do to reconnect with yourself and how
- 8:59did you conquer your issue? OK, all right, So again, I need
- 9:05to go a little bit back in time. So I, I suffered from anxiety,
- 9:11negative thoughts and very, very bad body image for many years.
- 9:17And then when I was in my 20s, I was exhausted and I was, I, I
- 9:22couldn't stand my thoughts constantly running through my
- 9:27mind. And I had an inner bully telling
- 9:29me terrible things like, you know, 12 hours a day.
- 9:34I was really exhausted. So I remember one day I grabbed
- 9:37a pen and paper and I wrote down, down 5 words.
- 9:41My thoughts don't define me. Awesome.
- 9:44Not in English. Did everybody hear that your
- 9:48thoughts do not define you? That's right.
- 9:52Of course, nothing really happened back then, but it was
- 9:54the beginning because since that moment I started to observe my
- 9:58thoughts more. Since I was so tired of
- 10:01constantly reacting to them, I just decided that I was going to
- 10:05let my, I couldn't stop them, so I just decided I wasn't going to
- 10:09react to them that much. There was the first, first
- 10:12really turning point in my, in my life, I can say.
- 10:16And then the other one was when I moved to Prague and I actually
- 10:20started dating an Italian guy and I went from eating, you
- 10:24know, cheap Chinese food and McDonald's.
- 10:27And like anything that's, you know, I, I could, I could, I
- 10:32could buy as a student. I started eating a better
- 10:36quality food, a homemade meals. And all of a sudden I realized,
- 10:39hey, my skin was looking better. My anxiety wasn't that bad
- 10:43anymore so I sort of. What you're putting on.
- 10:45Your body, yes. And then I made the link between
- 10:48nutrition and how I felt, and I got really passionate about
- 10:53nutrition, about eating healthy, about reconnecting with my body.
- 10:56So there was another, quite important.
- 10:58Well, they say that you are what you eat and we Gee whiz, we
- 11:02wouldn't want to be a jam doughnut, now would we?
- 11:07Barely what we don't want to be. So there's a couple of really
- 11:10defining things that I'm mapping here.
- 11:13And the first thing is that your thoughts don't define you.
- 11:17And I and I believe that everyone is experiencing what
- 11:22they are experiencing because of what they're saying to
- 11:25themselves. So that is a very powerful
- 11:28statement. And then of course, the other
- 11:31element being that you know what you're putting in your body
- 11:35nutritiously also made a change so that that's now they are
- 11:42very, very practical things. So.
- 11:45Yeah. And they are very, you know,
- 11:49interwoven. And what, how I like to see
- 11:52these things is our daily fuel. And daily fuel is what we put,
- 11:57you know, into our minds, our thoughts, but also the daily
- 12:01habits that can either nourish the mind or they can diminish
- 12:04the mind. If we spend hours scrolling
- 12:06through our social media, that's not a good fuel.
- 12:09And then there is the, there is the fuel, the food that we eat,
- 12:14what we provide to our body to function as well as it can.
- 12:19Because when the body is happy, when the brain is happy, our gut
- 12:22health matters, then we feel better.
- 12:25We are strong physically and mentally.
- 12:27So our daily fuel is, in my opinion, extremely important,
- 12:32what we choose to consume. Yeah, on daily basis.
- 12:37And do you believe that that was the journey to reconnect you
- 12:42back into your body, mind and soul?
- 12:46Yes, that's, that's right. So changing my eating habits was
- 12:52a really big step and I just learnt about it along the way.
- 12:56And then when I moved to Australia, I was still finishing
- 13:01my degree in Prague in in Czech Republic and I could not study
- 13:05here yet. But I really wanted to learn
- 13:07more in my, my major subject at the at the university where I
- 13:10study was psychology. So I choose to study mental
- 13:13health counselling. Awesome.
- 13:15Through an institution here and when as I learnt about the human
- 13:21psychology, about the human psyche, I learnt so much about
- 13:24myself and there was another opportunity to reflect on my
- 13:27mind and understanding myself better and learning practices
- 13:30how to deal with my mind. I really wasn't until I started
- 13:34practicing mindfulness when I truly discovered the breaking,
- 13:41breaking free from my thoughts, from the idea of who I am.
- 13:47You know that's. To to know thyself.
- 13:51To know thyself. To learning who I am beyond my
- 13:54thoughts, beyond my my learned thinking patterns.
- 13:58Yeah, that's probably the most powerful thing a person can do.
- 14:03So let's talk about releasing stress and anxiety and negative
- 14:08thinking now. So I, I feel that what we're
- 14:11bringing together here is firstly what you've pointed out
- 14:15is awareness and how important is it for us to be aware of
- 14:22perhaps if we are stressed out or if we are in one of those,
- 14:27you know how you get into a funk and you're sort of going around
- 14:30and around and around in a circle and you know, how
- 14:34important is awareness around that?
- 14:38Well, without awareness, we simply cannot work on things
- 14:43like we first need to know that we stress, we need to notice, we
- 14:47perhaps notice that, you know, we notice the physical symptoms
- 14:53like there's a lot of tension in our bodies.
- 14:55We are belly breathing, we are feeling cold but sweaty.
- 14:59We are frowning. We, we are, you know, shake
- 15:02many, many people are shaking their their legs and so on.
- 15:05Or we can also notice like the mental symptoms, many thoughts,
- 15:10many negative thoughts, like the worst case scenarios,
- 15:14generalizing negative things. So when we are rushing, when the
- 15:18body is rushing, the mind is rush, rushing with it.
- 15:21The mind is stuck in the stress zone.
- 15:23So first we need to practice awareness.
- 15:25In other words, we need to notice that we are stressed.
- 15:29We need to observe what's happening.
- 15:31And once we start observing, we are already creating a kind of
- 15:35distance between US and the experience.
- 15:39So once I noticed that I'm not breathing and then of course
- 15:42that leads me to returning to normal breathing to.
- 15:46Breathe and we're gonna we're gonna be going deep into that
- 15:49soon. So guys, stand by because breath
- 15:52work the life force. Ivana is gonna really teach on
- 15:57that one. But it is true.
- 15:58You know, when you think about it, I know that there's been
- 16:01times in my own life where I have felt particularly stressed
- 16:06and then come to think of it, I'm not breathing.
- 16:10I'm I'm literally forgetting to breathe.
- 16:14And I think that's, you know, obviously right there is the
- 16:19awareness of where are you breathing?
- 16:22You mentioned too, like the frown and, you know, bringing it
- 16:27back to the senses, which we're going to open up about too, you
- 16:31know, how are you holding your body?
- 16:33Because the way we hold our body is holding the position of where
- 16:38we're at. So we can shift our state by
- 16:42simply shifting our body, right? That's that's right, that's
- 16:47right. And once we practice awareness,
- 16:50it's an invitation to to do, to work on our body posture.
- 16:57For example, when we are stressed, very often, you know,
- 16:59we were lifting up the shoulders or we are, we're scratching.
- 17:03Is that a good way to? Yeah.
- 17:04Yeah, hunching. You're hunching.
- 17:05Yes, hunching over. We can't breathe if we are
- 17:08hunching over as soon as we notice, practice awareness.
- 17:11Wait, I'm not breathing. I'm I'm hunching over.
- 17:15We can let go and. Breathe.
- 17:19Yeah, Yeah. Because.
- 17:20That's a huge difference. Because that's the spinal cord
- 17:24too, isn't it? The vertebrae is the nervous
- 17:26system. And that holds all the truths
- 17:30about our our life. So if you've captured that,
- 17:35guys, if you're listening in, you know, where are you at the
- 17:40moment in your body? Do you feel calm, relaxed, or
- 17:45are you stressed or are you in a state of something that you'd
- 17:48like to change? Just take notice of where that
- 17:52is inside your body. Are you breathing right?
- 17:55As Ivana has said, hold your body in a different way.
- 17:59Notice your facial expressions. This is going to be very simple,
- 18:04easy, incredible strategies of really how to to make that
- 18:10massive change. So I guess stepping into that
- 18:13journey, releasing stress and anxiety and those negative
- 18:18thinking patterns, there's probably, you would probably
- 18:23understand too that it would depend on how locked in a person
- 18:27is because their thinking patterns are also coming from
- 18:31automatic what they sort of have already told themselves from the
- 18:36past. So any tips on that?
- 18:40Yeah. So with thinking patterns, I
- 18:43will definitely start with awareness.
- 18:45We don't notice that certain things are coming up in our
- 18:50heads not telling us terrible things, right.
- 18:54We're going to be constantly reacting to them and taking them
- 18:58in fully and but once we start noticing they are there, not
- 19:05judge mentally just and it can look like this.
- 19:08I'm having many negative thoughts.
- 19:11My thoughts are being very judge mental at the moment.
- 19:14And here again, we are already creating, we already breaking
- 19:20free, perhaps I could say from our thoughts in a sense, right,
- 19:24we are not fully. Engaging with them.
- 19:27What's happening in my mind in the moment?
- 19:29By the way, I have a friend and she came up with this amazing
- 19:32game and she she's been suffering with with busy mind
- 19:36and just just like me. She sometimes gets to the point
- 19:39when she's exhausted and she puts she puts an alarm or timer
- 19:44on her phone for five or more minutes and she just sits with
- 19:48her thoughts with a decision. She doesn't care what her
- 19:51thoughts are going to tell her. It's almost like she's sitting
- 19:54there just to observe, just to hear, to notice.
- 19:56Like, you know when you go to cinema and you're eating your
- 19:58popcorn, you're watching a movie.
- 19:59That's what she does for she's taking a break from her.
- 20:03Oh, I love that. So you mean to say that she's
- 20:05actually going in and analyzing them?
- 20:08She's not analyzing them. Oh, she's just letting herself.
- 20:11Yeah, she's just letting them coming in, but she doesn't
- 20:14really care. She's not responding to them.
- 20:16It doesn't matter how negative they are, what they're going to
- 20:18say, they are criticizing her. So And she, she smiles over them
- 20:23sometimes like, Oh, yeah, yeah, this one sounds familiar.
- 20:26It's almost like as she she takes, she withdraws the power
- 20:33that thoughts have over her, since thoughts on their own are
- 20:39not really powerful. They're just words like imagine
- 20:40I will start talking to Slovakian and I'll start and
- 20:43I'll be telling you terrible things.
- 20:44Well. And you, you don't know what I'm
- 20:46talking about. And you could, you could say it.
- 20:48This is where power linguistics come into it.
- 20:51You could speak to me in, in your tongue and you could be
- 20:55telling me terrible things that you could be saying it in the
- 20:58most incredible voice. Exactly.
- 21:01And in the softest. Voice.
- 21:02And I could be thinking to myself, because it's really
- 21:05frequency, isn't it? It's energy.
- 21:08So it's more around the body language and the tonality and
- 21:12yeah, things like that. Yeah.
- 21:14But yeah, I love that. And yeah, it's so reminds me of,
- 21:18you know, when I first went into power neural and linguistic
- 21:23programming, you know, you kind of did things to have a bit of a
- 21:26play. So it was very playful at the
- 21:29ground level, at practitioners level.
- 21:31So you sort of stepped into, oh, let's step into a bad feeling.
- 21:36The one that I always get every time I walk into the office or
- 21:39every time I walk into that house or every time this
- 21:42happens. And you'd literally put yourself
- 21:45into it, almost to embody it, embrace it and recognize it.
- 21:50And then as you did, you'd step back out into what we call meta,
- 21:55shake it off. And then you would put your
- 21:58desired state calm, relaxed, aware, like you just said.
- 22:04So what you're going to be talking to us about in just a
- 22:07moment in terms of breath work, it may be, well, how do I feel
- 22:13when I'm breathing? You know, what am I feeling when
- 22:17I feel that peace and joy? And then you'd sort of step into
- 22:20that. And I do have a just a very
- 22:23brief funny little story that's so cute.
- 22:26I didn't focus on working with children.
- 22:28Actually when I was in clinic. It was just something that no, I
- 22:31didn't do children. I do, I work with adults.
- 22:34But a parent said to me, no, you've got to work with my son.
- 22:37And anyway, after much twisting and etcetera, etcetera, I worked
- 22:43with him. What a gorgeous young bellow he
- 22:46was, you know, about 10 years old.
- 22:47I teached him this concept of the, the kind of circle of power
- 22:55where he would step into it and he would then bring up the
- 22:59confidence and the calm and the joy.
- 23:02And you know, it was, I'd anchored him into it, of course.
- 23:06And that happened in previous sessions.
- 23:09So I I took a bathroom break one day and I excused myself and I
- 23:14walked out and bless him, I when I walked back in the room, I
- 23:19looked in around the corner and there we he was stepping into
- 23:23his circle of. Oh, that's wonderful.
- 23:25It was beautiful, so so cute and I just thought.
- 23:30Oh, so powerful. It's just, it's beautiful.
- 23:33I mean, I'm, I'm sure that you're familiar with with it at
- 23:38the brain. When we, when we imagine, when
- 23:41we imagine an experience, it activates the same neural
- 23:43pathways, the same parts of the brain that as if we were
- 23:48actually going through the experience.
- 23:49So in other words, if we imagine that we are in a safe circle or
- 23:54that we are, I don't know, we have a protective bubble around
- 23:56us. The brain believes is there and
- 23:59how much power and you know, change and transformation can
- 24:03just come through it. And the same thing is with our
- 24:07thoughts, right? If we identify with our
- 24:09thoughts, if we believe we are our thoughts, that's the reality
- 24:12we are living. Once we learn to observe our
- 24:15thoughts and we realize, wait, these are just, these are just
- 24:18words. It's actually the way how I
- 24:20react to them that gives them a power.
- 24:22That's our reality. So when when just like my
- 24:26friend, when when people learn to be in presence of their
- 24:30thoughts without reacting to them through sadness, anxiety or
- 24:34anger, the thoughts straight away lose their control over
- 24:39them. They are just empty words.
- 24:40There is no power. And this is what you know, I, I,
- 24:44so I'm an informal mindfulness coach.
- 24:45Informal mindfulness, it's a type of mindfulness people can
- 24:48practice anytime and anywhere throughout the day.
- 24:51And this is one of the things we can do anytime and anywhere just
- 24:54to pause and notice what's happening in our heads, to
- 24:57notice without being judgmental. They are just products of the
- 25:01brain. Who knows?
- 25:02The brain is such a mysterious place.
- 25:03So thinking patterns are perhaps ancient, are coming from a
- 25:06childhood from some kind of trauma for, you know, feeling of
- 25:09being unseen and so on. We don't need to understand.
- 25:12We don't need to over. We have a power to stop reacting
- 25:15to them straight away. Yeah, we can go to psychologist,
- 25:18therapist, councillors, talk about their traumas forever.
- 25:21This is something that we can do straight away to observe and let
- 25:27go of the reaction. Or if we react, we can also
- 25:30notice the reaction. This is how I reacted to this
- 25:33thought. Again, we are creating a
- 25:35distance from ourselves between ourselves and the experience.
- 25:39The thought or the emotional reaction to the thought?
- 25:43I love that. Yeah, that is so beautiful.
- 25:46So guys, who's driving your bus? You'll find that usually it is
- 25:50your subconscious mind. So these tips and tricks that
- 25:53you're hearing from Ivana are very simple.
- 25:56And we are going to talk about the simplicity of these things
- 26:01because, you know, I believe that a lot of people get stuck
- 26:05in overwhelm and procrastination because they are trying to eat
- 26:10the elephant all at once rather than breaking it down, being
- 26:15kind to themself and allowing themself to do simple, easy and
- 26:21fun things and elements to rebuild their vitality.
- 26:27So what are some of the simple things you teach your client to
- 26:30do? So let's just say I come in and
- 26:33I say, oh, I'm just really, my nervous system is, I'm, I'm
- 26:37hearing this a lot with a lot of people at the moment that
- 26:39they're feeling like their nervous system is really
- 26:42deregulated or their child's nervous system is really
- 26:45deregulated. Can you give us some, you know,
- 26:49simple tools for that? OK, well I would I would perhaps
- 26:54start with breathing. And breathing is one of the ways
- 27:00that we can used to send a signal to the brain that we are
- 27:04safe. I mean, if the nervous system is
- 27:05regulated means that we're stuck in a survival mode.
- 27:09We are fighting for survival. The thing is that the human
- 27:12brain can't really differentiate between a real life threatening
- 27:16situation and daily stresses. And since we live in such a busy
- 27:20society, we barely get out of the stress zone.
- 27:24Like if we are, if an animal is a life threatening situation,
- 27:27and then let's say that, you know, it's chased by a lion for
- 27:32dinner, right? And then the animal survives
- 27:35after not like before long, the animal returns back into its
- 27:39calm zone and all the the nervous system, all the bodily
- 27:42functions go back to normal. But that's usually what doesn't
- 27:44happen with us humans. We are constantly on the round
- 27:47there. There's always something that we
- 27:49can, you know, stress, stress about.
- 27:53Right. Of course, yes, yeah.
- 27:55So no, no surprise that our nervous system is dysregulated
- 28:00since we are stuck in the survival zone.
- 28:02So what we need to do is to basically bring ourselves back
- 28:05into the normal zone, calm zone. And breathing exercises is such
- 28:10a wonderful, such a beautiful tool to use, right?
- 28:14It's usually doesn't work just to say, oh, I'm good, I'm OK,
- 28:17I'm fine. It doesn't work like that
- 28:19because this is all happening really on a very different
- 28:22levels that we can access through our conscious mind,
- 28:25right? And telling ourselves into it.
- 28:27However, breathing on the other hand, help release calming
- 28:32hormones, which work as an antidote to stress hormones,
- 28:35which are adrenaline and cortisol.
- 28:38And they help and they help us to, to, to calm, to calm down,
- 28:46to to feel more present or at least to feel like we are not,
- 28:50we are not, you know, fighting or or running for our survival.
- 28:55Yes. Would you like me to maybe just
- 28:58mention one on please? Do I was.
- 29:00I was actually Yeah, please do. I was going to stay.
- 29:04OK, so Ivana, when when Ivana's talking about breathing, she's
- 29:09not just talking about your normal everyday breathing.
- 29:12This is very conscious breathing that is done in a a way that you
- 29:18are making a very conscious decision about it.
- 29:22So yeah, over to you. Let's let's go with a few
- 29:25techniques for our audience. OK, so I'm going to give you 3
- 29:29of my 3, three of my favorite ones.
- 29:32OK, so the first one is very quick and I personally do it
- 29:36often. Every time I notice I'm not
- 29:38breathing. By the way, all of us, we, we
- 29:41don't, we don't breathe properly when we're stressed.
- 29:43No, we don't. Sometimes I hold my breath.
- 29:46Yeah. And I think that people in
- 29:47general, yes, holding breath, it's actually got an, it's got a
- 29:51name, it's called e-mail apnea. That's because we do it when we
- 29:54are reading an e-mail, but also when we are scrolling through.
- 29:57That's right. So we are scrolling.
- 29:59And reading an e-mail we stop reading.
- 30:01Is that what you're saying? That's right.
- 30:03Or when we are deeply concentrated?
- 30:04When we are accomplishing a task?
- 30:07Yes. When we are scrolling through
- 30:08social media, we. Do it a lot?
- 30:10Yes. Yes.
- 30:12Yes, so oh, sorry. Yes, just so everyone can hear
- 30:16you. I really, I really don't want
- 30:18anyone to miss what you're saying.
- 30:20It's so precious all. Right.
- 30:22So yeah, so in fact, I think people use around about 5060% of
- 30:27their lung capacity, which is a big problem because we're
- 30:29depriving our brains of oxygen, which doesn't help with stress.
- 30:33OK, so we're depriving. So, you know, this is this is
- 30:37also for people that want to learn, for memory, for people
- 30:42that are suffering probably inflammation even and, and many
- 30:46things. Yeah.
- 30:47So what you're suggesting is that breathing oxygenates the
- 30:51brain? Yes, well, we, we need.
- 30:55So if, if we, if we breathe in a very shallow way, we, yeah, we
- 31:01don't provide enough of enough of oxygen to the brain to really
- 31:05function at its best. And another thing with oxygen is
- 31:08that or I, I believe that's that's why I learned some time
- 31:13ago, is that oxygen is important for keeping the body's pH.
- 31:19Right. Stable.
- 31:20So if we are not breathing properly, if we don't have
- 31:23enough, enough of oxygen, you know, running through our
- 31:26bloodstream, the body gets more acidic.
- 31:30Do you think that I, I just want to catch that for a moment
- 31:34because my mother is really suffering with pain in her knees
- 31:39and she's bone on bone. And I know that there's a lot of
- 31:44inflammation, but every time she exerts herself, she ends up in
- 31:50this kind of breathy state. You know, how will that affect
- 31:56her pH balance? And could she do something to
- 32:01kind of invite what would be the best kind of breathing to help
- 32:06perhaps resolve some of that inflammation or some of that?
- 32:11Exhaustion. That's right.
- 32:14I'll well, breathing, of course, might be one, one of the factors
- 32:18that, you know, contribute to her condition.
- 32:22So definitely breathing at least in a normal, you know, in a
- 32:26normal in a normal way is very helpful.
- 32:30However, it might or might not help.
- 32:32But anyway, it's it's very good for her to to notice if she's
- 32:36not breathing and to return back to a normal breathing.
- 32:39And one of one of the exercises that is very quick to do is that
- 32:45we in health through our nose. So in through the nice guys.
- 32:51We hold for a bit, maybe for a count to 5, let's say.
- 32:56Hold for 52345. And exhale through the mouth and
- 33:02make the exhale longer than the exhale.
- 33:04If you want to count count, you can count for per count of let's
- 33:09say 8. 8 So breathing out. So as you breathe out, just
- 33:14exhale that. Maybe let's do it one more time.
- 33:17So we inhale, count to 5, hold for five, exhale for 8:00.
- 33:23Also try to notice how the warm air is getting through your
- 33:27nose. Just notice how it feels in your
- 33:29nose, and then when you exhale, notice the warm air getting
- 33:34through your mouth. I mean, it.
- 33:37This is, of course, optional. Yeah, well, it's grounding
- 33:39through, like very grounding. What we've got on the screen
- 33:42here is grounding through your senses.
- 33:45So you are becoming aware you're, you're kind of tapping
- 33:49into, well, does the breath that I'm taking in feel warm?
- 33:54And if you remember to, breathing through your nose and
- 33:57I I believe three times is gonna change the way your body feels.
- 34:02Three times. Immediately, yeah.
- 34:05So breathing in through your nose, perhaps holding it for
- 34:09five and sensing the the feeling the.
- 34:13Feeling, yes, Yeah. Yeah.
- 34:15We you can feel a bit light headed since that's when the the
- 34:18calming hormones are nicely released into the brain.
- 34:21Yep. And then exhaling it out and
- 34:25taking that and are you making a noise?
- 34:28Like sometimes a lot of these people they'll recommend.
- 34:33Yeah, well, that depends on the situation.
- 34:36Like sometimes when we are at work, sometimes we can, it's
- 34:39good to make a noise, but that's not always doable.
- 34:43However, on that note, when I really, when I really make a
- 34:48nose, when I really make it loud, is in front of my
- 34:50daughter. And I'm trying to actually show
- 34:54to her what I would like her to do when she's feeling stressed
- 34:58or when she's experiencing, let's say, anger.
- 35:02And so this is a bit of a role modelling.
- 35:05Our kids learn much more from observing us than from what we
- 35:09tell them to do. When I say to my daughter, take
- 35:12a breather, she starts screaming at me.
- 35:14So this doesn't work. Is that right?
- 35:16So don't point, just point the finger at someone and say do
- 35:20this, do this, but actually do it in.
- 35:24Showing to them we do what we preach, right?
- 35:27So in that case, I I also so describe the whole experience.
- 35:32For example, I go Lucia, I'm getting frustrated.
- 35:36I'm going to take a deep inhale and exhale.
- 35:46That is amazing and she watches mom.
- 35:49She's watching me. It doesn't mean that she's
- 35:50straight away certain that's not how it works.
- 35:52But the more we do it, the more our kids can learn, right?
- 35:58It's. But that actually works at any
- 36:01age. Amazing.
- 36:02That works at any age. If someone, yeah, if someone
- 36:05shows us what to do, we can really observe it and take it
- 36:09in. But if someone tells us so this
- 36:12is what you do, blah, blah, blah, without showing us, we're
- 36:14like, wait, what was it? Can you like, can you repeat
- 36:17that to me? It's not the time.
- 36:18Sometimes it's it's about learning through experience.
- 36:23Learning through. Experience, so seeing and
- 36:25hearing is great, but actually experiencing it is very, very
- 36:30powerful. So we've got time for a couple
- 36:33more things, but firstly I just want to say that if you want to
- 36:37get in contact with the beautiful Ivana, this holistic
- 36:40mindfulness coach, and really just join her community, come
- 36:47into some of these amazing elements, where's the best place
- 36:50to find you? We will have your details in the
- 36:53show notes, but where would you recommend a person go to just
- 36:58like that if they're listening on radio?
- 37:00I'll just say to my website. OK.
- 37:03And what is your Rep website? It's WWW.
- 37:09Take a breath. Take a breath.
- 37:11Www.nono. Maybe we'll pop it in the show
- 37:15notes. How's that?
- 37:16Because is that your name? Yes.
- 37:19OK, so we. Will ivanasaparavic.com dot AU
- 37:22and there is my number, there is my e-mail.
- 37:24There is also a form that people can just fill out.
- 37:29So here we go with our kind of our last question before we
- 37:33conclude and that is, you know, a lot of everything that we are
- 37:40struggling with in life and I know this as a power
- 37:45neurolinguistic coach, it's about your perspective, it's
- 37:49about the way you look at life. So the old age saying change the
- 37:55way you think, change your life if it's your body, change the
- 38:00way you see food, change your body and discover also
- 38:05inspiration because a lot of people think they need
- 38:09motivation. But what I've come to know and I
- 38:11feel that your teaching is really strong in this, is that
- 38:16inspiration comes from in spirit.
- 38:19You really won't find the motivation without the
- 38:23inspiration. And how important is it to take
- 38:27aligned action? Evanna you know, and what does
- 38:31alignment mean in terms of obviously being able to tap into
- 38:38that congruency or or that, you know, oneness with our self?
- 38:43Yeah, that was that was beautiful with how how you
- 38:48described it, by the way. That's such a beautiful way to
- 38:51talk about these things. It's very hard to change
- 38:54everything, anything. If we are stuck with our old
- 38:58thinking patterns, if we, if you want to achieve something, but
- 39:02our, our mind keeps telling us this is too hard.
- 39:05Yes, I can do it today, but this and that, finding excuses and so
- 39:09on, that's very hard. So what I very often help my
- 39:13clients with is to create a new vision of themselves, to
- 39:20visualize the person who they want to be and to reflect on how
- 39:23that person is thinking. What are their beliefs that they
- 39:26are holding about themselves right to start with?
- 39:31Right to write that down person. So if if I'm having a bad day,
- 39:35say for example, and I'm running around like a headless chook and
- 39:40I'm stressed out and I'm not present and I'm not breathing
- 39:43properly and I'm not being aware of my whole thing, obviously I'm
- 39:51going to need to change my perspective.
- 39:53So would you say writing down a lot of what's going on for me
- 39:58would help? It of course helps, but it takes
- 40:02time. There are also a few quick I
- 40:05don't want to say tricks, but the the language we're using
- 40:09about things that we do is very important.
- 40:11Like people usually say, I have to do this, I I must do this, I
- 40:16should. Do this I should should go over
- 40:19yourself. Yes, should how different it
- 40:21sounds when we say I get to do it.
- 40:23I get to go to work, I get to take my kids to school, I get to
- 40:27play with my kids, I get to clean the kitchen since I have a
- 40:30beautiful home. So when we say get to it
- 40:33instantly brings a sense of gratitude, right?
- 40:37Positive thinking. So there are few, there are few
- 40:40hacks like this. Another one is, for example,
- 40:45using the word to be generalising.
- 40:49And I'm, I'm just now talking about negative thinking right
- 40:51when we are doing affirmation, saying I'm powerful, I'm safe, I
- 40:55can do this. We we can do it right to be is a
- 40:58wonderful tool for a positive thinking.
- 41:02However, with negative thinking, when we start saying I'm
- 41:04anxious, I'm stressed. It's almost like it's never
- 41:08ending. I'm always stressed.
- 41:10It's it's like we are identifying ourselves with
- 41:13experience. So how different it is to say I
- 41:17experienced anxiety just now. Anxiety is here present.
- 41:21There is me, there is anxiety. I'm not anxiety.
- 41:25There is me. And then there is a problem.
- 41:27And I'm here to sit with the problem and just to breathe.
- 41:32It's OK to have a problem. Yes.
- 41:34Hello. Problem.
- 41:35Yes. How are you?
- 41:36I can see. You.
- 41:38I can see you, but there is also my I don't know my hope or my
- 41:43inner power. You know who I am without you.
- 41:46All these things. And I noticed that you also,
- 41:49when you address that with your language, you really used
- 41:53powerful words like I get to do this.
- 41:56And also there was a sense that you put the problem in the past.
- 42:02So at a conscious level, you know, I studied under, well, the
- 42:08school of training of the famous Milton Ericsson.
- 42:11And he would say to his clients, oh, yes, you were feeling very
- 42:17stressed, weren't you? So you see, even though they're
- 42:21saying I'm so stressed, I'm so anxious, I'm so this.
- 42:25And you know, he would then very cleverly place it into the past
- 42:31and then lead through with, I wonder what it's going to be
- 42:35like when you can breathe again, when you can be so aware that
- 42:40all of a sudden the joy floods back.
- 42:43You know, we are at a time I have to ask you the question
- 42:47that I have to ask all people because it's honoring you and
- 42:52your incredible work and your wisdom.
- 42:54If there was something you either wanted to repeat here
- 42:58that you've said and emphasize or something that you want to
- 43:02say to the audience, what would it be?
- 43:06I would say you are much more than you think.
- 43:13Literally, we are much more than we think.
- 43:18Thoughts happen. Brain is neuro neuroplastic.
- 43:21I believe that we can change all our thinking patterns if you
- 43:26want, and there are very basic steps to do it right.
- 43:30And observing our thoughts not without reacting to them is one
- 43:34of them or two of them's. But we are much more and
- 43:38everything is possible. We can create new thinking
- 43:41patterns through maybe practicing gratitude, maybe
- 43:44doing positive affirmations, right?
- 43:47We can become who we want to be. So back to your previous
- 43:51question about the inspiration. It's so powerful to imagine who
- 43:56we are at some point in the future.
- 44:00We are the person. Yes, we are the person.
- 44:03It's just a matter of the time. How do we think?
- 44:06What small habits do we have? What happens when we wake up?
- 44:09Make a plan. There is a beautiful saying by
- 44:12FM Alexander that people don't decide their futures, that they
- 44:16decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.
- 44:20So what are your habits? That's beautiful note to end up
- 44:24on. Well, you've been listening to
- 44:26the Genius Zone Edge radio show where we have explored through
- 44:33this various topic along with all the exciting new topics that
- 44:39we bring every week to enhance your personal mastery of
- 44:45excellence. Now, I'd love you to do me a
- 44:48favor, in fact, be part of the legacy 1,000,000 that I have in
- 44:55the vision for 2028. If you know someone who really
- 45:01would benefit from this recording from this episode,
- 45:06please share, share it with them.
- 45:10And when you subscribe, you get notified every week of our
- 45:16episode as soon as it drops. So let's do that legacy thing.
- 45:24Let's share, let's care, let's enrich.
- 45:28And I look forward to bringing you another week of the most
- 45:33enriching content. So until next time, stay
- 45:37inspired, stay awesome, and keep on mastering your excellence.