Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP26] How to deal with grief

Transcript

[EP26] How to deal with grief · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

• 0:00
  Grief is, I've just had a new level of, what should I say, appreciation, understanding, connection, experience of grief or grieving process, as I've been going through mine this year.
• 0:12
  And grieving can happen from any form of loss, including, as you mentioned there, a breakup.
• 0:20
  And the grieving process generally is, I was talking to a buddy of mine last night.
• 0:24
  our cells, my body, my cells remember this other configuration of cells in this other form of human.
• 0:34
  And that group of cells are not physically within proximity.
• 0:39
  They're kind of far away or in another space or time.
• 0:46
  And finishing, closing and ending of a relationship generally means that group of cells,
• 0:55
  is far away and it's not there.
• 0:58
  Therefore, not having those experiences. Therefore, we experience loss
• 1:02
  and it's a process of letting go.
• 1:06
  On an energetic level, us as an energetic being,
• 1:10
  we are intrinsically connected.
• 1:14
  So the analogy I used with the same buddy I was talking about last night,
• 1:18
  talking to last night, I said, do you know what a colander is?
• 1:22
  and he was like, yeah, a colander, the one that he used to cook with.
• 1:26
  So if you take a light bulb and turn on the light and bring the light bulb into the colander,
• 1:31
  what happens is that through the holes of the colander,
• 1:34
  you'll get all these light beams shooting out of the colander.
• 1:40
  And energetically, as an energy being,
• 1:44
  you could say each one of those light beams is one of us.
• 1:48
  And we're all coming from the same source, right?
• 1:52
  there is no separation. And we all return back to the same source. And even if we are physically,
• 1:59
  I mean alive, but then in different places, far away, doing different things, there is still that
• 2:05
  connection. So on an energetic level, some part of us just knows that we are connected. But on
• 2:11
  another level, there is a sense of separation. And the mind's the way it copes and makes sense
• 2:18
  of this physical reality is that we have taught ourselves to see us and things as things, as
• 2:25
  objects, as separate. Here is me and there is you or there is this object and we have to do some of
• 2:33
  that to be able to function in this physical reality. So therefore the sense of separation
• 2:38
  and we have this belief that oh we are separate, like we are not together anymore or we're not
• 2:45
  physically in the same place,
• 2:48
  existing in the same plane
• 2:50
  at the same time anymore.
• 2:51
  Or maybe we are in the same plane
• 2:53
  at the same time,
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  but then we're just far away.
• 2:55
  So the body goes through its process
• 2:58
  of releasing and letting go.
• 3:00
  And the heart goes through its process
• 3:02
  of a relationship and healing
• 3:05
  of letting go as well.
• 3:07
  But just the process of grieving itself,
• 3:10
  it is not predictable.
• 3:14
  it comes in waves as you mentioned and i haven't found a way to speed it up i think in our modern
• 3:23
  day society whatever we can't speed up we just numb out right i wouldn't recommend that because
• 3:29
  whatever we numb out comes back for you to deal with the thing you sweep under the carpet it'll
• 3:34
  come back and bite you. So the quickest way I've found is the slow way. Sometimes the fastest way
• 3:42
  is the slow way. And to give yourself the time and space to heal, to release, to let go, to feel
• 3:53
  the emotions. And I still stick with our framework, our formula of the way to heal is to feel.
• 4:02
  and we want to accelerate feel
• 4:05
  because sometimes to feel is really difficult.
• 4:10
  Those emotions that we are feeling like grief
• 4:11
  is very difficult to sit with.
• 4:15
  But know that you're going to be okay
• 4:19
  and like any emotion, it is not permanent.
• 4:24
  Emotions come and go.
• 4:28
  So therefore, I've also learned that
• 4:31
  my life and my life decisions
• 4:34
  simply on an emotion.
• 4:36
  Because emotions
• 4:38
  are in the moment.
• 4:40
  They come and go.
• 4:41
  Sometimes they stay a little bit longer because the body
• 4:43
  is hanging on to it or we're healing
• 4:45
  on a heart level.
• 4:48
  But it will
• 4:49
  pass. It will shift.
• 4:52
  It will heal.
• 4:54
  And it cannot heal if you
• 4:55
  stay stagnant and stuck and keep yourself
• 4:57
  stuck. But if you allow
• 5:01
  it room to more and when we give it room to more it will more it's like a in you know in nature like
• 5:08
  a body of water a river that we blockade and it keeps stuck and it's not flowing anymore it gets
• 5:14
  stuck so it festers and things grow and it can't heal it gets worse it gets more diseased whereas
• 5:21
  when you remove the blocks and you let it flow this is actually what we're doing with feel by
• 5:25
  giving it the room that it needs so what needs to flow more can actually move through and
• 5:32
  it might feel in those difficult times
• 5:35
  is this ever going to end?
• 5:37
  Am I ever going to get through this?
• 5:40
  And the answer is yes.
• 5:42
  Because the way we are made
• 5:44
  is that there is something within each and every one of us
• 5:48
  no matter who you are and where you're from
• 5:50
  and what your background and any of that stuff
• 5:53
  we all intrinsically have this.
• 5:55
  Our body has this
• 5:57
  and on a deeper and higher level we have this as well.
• 6:01
  to heal. And so much of the healing process is us just getting out of our own way and letting it
• 6:07
  happen and giving it the space and feeling it. Slightly different, so I'll switch just on a
• 6:15
  little tangent. One thing that is different though is when I've worked with people who've got
• 6:19
  depression, by the way, I'm not a medical professional, so you should seek your medical
• 6:22
  professional, I'm just saying. But deep depression can feel like an abyss that you're falling through.
• 6:29
  that if you're dealing with something like that then yeah there is a time then for you to just
• 6:34
  if you're feeling like you're falling into an abyss just put like a floor underneath you and
• 6:39
  boom like bounce back pull yourself up the way you do that get moving move your body
• 6:46
  deep breathing that helps as well that also helps with grief because it's giving space to move that
• 6:53
  energy but with grief when it hits I haven't found a quicker way than the slow
• 6:59
  way too often now we want to just speed things up and when we speed things up we
• 7:06
  don't really let it properly the process whatever that process of healing
• 7:11
  actually happened and complete so it remains and we carry it and we cannot
• 7:16
  really properly move forward so that's what I would say about grief