Latest / 🎙️ Rebuild & Fulfill Real conversations on burnout, rebuilding, and becoming stronger than before. / Amputee Firefighter Battles PTSD & Rebuilds His Life | Darren Richardson | Episode 31
Transcript
- Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: What if I told you that at just 13 years old, you were told you would never do the things that you loved ever again? After a devastating accident, doctors believed your future would forever be defined by your limitations. But instead of accepting that future, you decided to prove them wrong. You went on to become a firefighter and a paramedic, dedicating nearly two decades to helping people through some of the worst moments of their lives. Then life tested you again. This time it wasn't a physical injury, it was PTSD, and depression and alcohol. The loss of a career that you loved, and the fear of losing not only your identity, but your family. Just as you began rebuilding your life, you were faced with another amputation and another choice. Do you accept your limitations or do you rise again? Today we're talking with someone who has lived that question more than once and And is now helping others discover that resilience isn't something you're born with, it's something you build. And this is rebuild and fulfill. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Rebuild and Fulfill, where we have real conversations about overcoming adversity, rebuilding after life's toughest moments, and creating a life filled with greater purpose, resilience, and fulfillment. I'm your host, Kelsey Dunbar, and today I have the pleasure of sitting down and speaking with Darren Richardson. Darren is a former firefighter and paramedic, a mindset, resilience, and mental performance coach, motivational speaker, and And the founder of Ashes to Ascent Coaching. His story is one of incredible perseverance, but what stood out to me most wasn't simply everything he overcame. It was the way he's chosen to use those experiences to help others navigate some of the hardest seasons of their own lives. Darren, welcome to Rebuild and Fulfill. I'm really looking forward to this conversation. Darren: Right. Thank you for having me. I can't wait to get this going. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Fantastic. Darren, I'd like to begin before the accident because I think understanding where someone comes from often tells us a lot about who they become. You've shared that you grew up with an absent alcoholic father, were raised by your mother, and you're the oldest of three boys, and you unfortunately had to learn responsibility at a very young age. When you look back on your childhood today, what do you think those early years taught you about resilience, responsibility, and perseverance? Long before you realized how much eventually you would need those qualities. Darren: that's a great question. yeah, I think since day one, I had to I had to be resilient. I had to learn. like you said, my father was absent, he was an alcoholic, in and out of our lives, not trustworthy. so at a young age, I had to step up and be that leader of the family. I would help care for my younger brothers. help around with my mom, single mom of of three rambunctious boys, and she was a school teacher. So we didn't have a lot of income at the time. and we did what we could to get by. and then again, you know, when I was 13 years old, I had a severe traumatic accident that changed it. But I feel like that upbringing kind of prepared me for that next chapter, right? Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: It's it's i it's interesting how life has a way of preparing us for challenges we don't even know are coming. Looking back, are there lessons from your childhood that didn't quite make sense at the time, but became invaluable later in life? Darren: yeah, I do believe that. I believe that growing up the way we did, I mean, we had so much fun. We were we grew up in a small mountain town, a little ski town that actually has now grown to be a world class ski resort. But at that time in the eighties, small town didn't have a whole lot, so we got by with what we had. but we were always happy. We were always playing outside. We were always being those rambunctious kids. I was my you know, at that point my favorite sport was actually rock climbing and skiing and I became a fairly success fairly successful ski racer. we did like I said, you know, it just we didn't have everything. A lot of friends had a lot more, but I feel like by learning that at a young age, it did. It it taught so much resilience and how to come back and how to have a strong mindset and a strong earth ethic and just to keep going. that was, you know, pivotal role, starting from very young age. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. So I I do want to fast forward just a little bit. This is still part of your your childhood, but I unfortunately want to go to the the the quote unquote the day that changed everything, right? So at just thirteen years old, you're out hiking with a friend when a massive boulder crushes your right foot. There's a four hour Darren: Yes. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: rescue, emergency surgery, uncertainty about whether your leg could even be saved, and eventually the amputation of two toes. So that's an unimaginable experience for anyone, let alone a teenager. Can you take us back to that season of your life and what do you remember most, not just about the accident itself, but about everything that came after it? Darren: yeah, that's that's part of my story, right? So yeah, I was I was thirteen years old. I was with a friend and his family, at a lake, like, you know, in the in the mountains, with a couple other families. We were the oldest, so we decided we wanted to go hike around the lake and screw around and thirteen year old boys, what do you do, right? We veer off trail, we saw some cliffs, like, well just you know, some s smaller cliffs. We were both into rock climbing, so Wandered up, started climbing around. and actually on the way up this steep embankment, I got kind of to a ledge and a slab right above me fell. And this this rock was about the size of a small car. I was standing right underneath it. I was able to slowly try to get out of the way, but because it was right above me, it just fell. Luckily, you know, it only got my foot. I mean, it it would have killed me. but so I I see in this story s a series, so many things of luck that even that came out of this tragedy, right? The boulder, the hillside was so steep, the boulder kept rolling. So I was not pinned under it. and that was that was crucial. My friend ran up and kind of saw the aftermath and and really I was wearing it Water shoes, basically the first rendition of a watershoe, so zero protection. and my foot was completely crushed, smashed, the toes were complete severed. he ran out, ran for help. we were about a half a mile from like the group at the lake. And again, this was in the early 90s, so there were no cell phones, so somebody had to get in a car. drive to another lake where there happened to be a marina and a payphone to call 911. So this process before it even started was a good good 30, 45 minutes before they could even get to a phone to call. again, luckily as soon as my friend hit the trailhead, there was a couple that was hiking. And he the the guy came up, he happened to be a dent a dentist. So some medical training Sat with me, helped me. he, you know, while I sat down up there waiting for help, I started taking my shirt off to just tie around my leg. I didn't know what to do, right? There was profuse bleeding, you know, my foot, there was not much of a foot left. so he came up, he took his belt off, tied it around my leg, made a tourniquet. I honestly believe he saved part of my leg. and then we waited. So the ambulance showed up. It was a volunteer fire department. They had to call search and rescue out because now it's a you know a rope rescue, a low-angle rope rescue, which takes time to set up. And a four-hour rescue off the side of the mountain down to the local hospital, where at that point, luckily enough again, an orthopedic surgeon who also was a trauma surgeon in San Diego. happened to fly in to do an orthopedic case for the that afternoon. I would I showed up, they kicked that case out, put me in there, and he he basically told my parents at the time, there's a really good chance we're gonna have to take his leg below the knee. so that was kind of the the story my parents got. and from there, you know, luckily again, this surgeon was able to during surgery decided I'm just gonna pin it back together and see what happens. So that seemed to work. he pinned some of the toes back on, put some rods in, and we waited for a couple weeks. they didn't transfer me out. they kept me at the local hospital. It was, it was the treatment was going well enough. and about 10 days or so later, they noticed I started getting an infection and said, we got a two of the toes had died. my first two big toe and second toe. so they we went in, pulled those pins, and you know, again, luckily, from nearly losing my life to now nearly losing my leg to only losing two toes, it was pretty incredible. I had tons of skin grafting. There was no skin left on the top of the foot. So that healing process took a while. And you know, at the end of the day, I was able to walk again, do what really do whatever I wanted. They put a lot of limits on me. you know, the odds were I'm still may lose my foot. The odds were you're they told me you'll never. You know, you're gonna walk with a limp the rest of your life, you're never gonna rock climb. Skiing is out for a c at least a couple of years, you couldn't get in a boot. and I didn't really understand that, nor did I like what I was being told. You know, kind of rebellious 13 year old kid, you can't tell me what to do concept. so the doctors, some of the physical therapists, but I had one therapist who with me who after I started rehabbing said, Let's get you to climbing. And I did. So actually three months after my accident, I went rock climbing again. I just learned how to use my heel. There was nothing wrong with my heel. And I I remember questioning why can't I just twist my foot around and climb with my heel? It doesn't hurt. And I did. So that led to this resilience. to then challenge, well, I can ski. I'll find a boot that I can get in. And I ended up competing. the accident happened Mi in mid-July of ninety-three. I was skiing in December and racing and competing that year. So that's really what gave me this drive of no limits, and I've lived my life ever since that. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: That's amazing. And and what's equally amazing to me is how many times in that answer you use the word lucky. And that is just so incredible to me. And it's something that that Marc and I talk about a lot. My my partner that can't be with us today, he's he talks all the time about trying to see the positives in the negatives, you know, trying to to take whatever situation that we think is holding us back and taking the moment to find out what we're learning from that situation and to use it as a positive. And so that's that same kind of mindset where you felt lucky because, well, it could have been worse. It could have been this and it could have been this. And it ended up only being this. Well, the only being this is very unacceptable to most people. But but you actually talk Darren: Right. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: about how lucky you were that it was only this, right? Darren: Yeah, yeah. I for the longest time as a kid, I would look for the positive. I think you have to. It just if you do, there's hope, right? If you say it's over, it is, right? whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. And that's so it's very true. you know, and from that it just it gave me that gave me hope. And like you said earlier, like my childhood resilience of I have to step up was really no different. yeah, and you know, after that I went off to college, I got my degree, and then I chose to, you know, I could do anything I wanted. I chose to go be a firefighter after college, a paramedic, and absolutely loved it. And really the same mindset goes, you know, in a fire academy, which is very militaristic, right? So You just go and do and you're pushing your limits every single day. And in and you know, in a career I loved, I could push my limits and I could help people. Like there was nothing better. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. and something else I like to mention is is I've had the privilege of talking with several first responders over the years. And the one thing I hear over and over again is that they don't just identify with the work, they identify with the mission. So did you ever reach a point where being a firefighter wasn't just what you did, it actually became a part of who you were? Darren: Yes, definitely. I did. It it was my identity. I was a firefighter. I was a paramedic. You know, you're in that world, you're surrounded by that. It becomes your, you know, we say it's your second family, right? For a lot of people, it's their first family. you're you're told that and trained that often, you know, e even in the military, same thing. you know, there's a saying, once a marine, always a marine, right? And that's it's good in a way because it gives you the drive. However, there's a downside to making a career your identity. And that's when you leave that career, you're stuck wondering who you are. Right. but it was. I s I spent nearly two decades as a first responder, as a firefighter, as a paramedic. and then when I started having problems and then developed PTSD, I didn't even know I had it. I had symptoms for years and would just put it off. I became jaded, you know, in the in the fireworld, you you become salty is what we call it, right? the calls weren't as fun anymore. You're always looking for the next big great call. then you get beat up and overworked. And unfortunately, I developed PTSD. You know, several really horrific calls they wear on you. I was bringing work home. my wife is an ER nurse. she's been an ER nurse for almost 20 years now. So that combination, you know, firefighter nurse is a very common you know, it's very common. but she started bringing work home, noticing it to where it was it was it was affecting our marriage. We had young kids, the family stressors that everyone goes through. on top of a very stressful job started that downfall. I actually started drinking more than I should have and continued on with that. and not, you know, kind of absent with my family. That's that's not who I was. That wasn't who I ever wanted to be. You know, for years I didn't want to be my father, absent alcoholic, yet I was becoming it. And When you're down in those spots, you know, my mindset changed. I was not that outgoing anymore. I was not that I can beat go through this, although I did always tell myself I can beat this. but the funny thing was I didn't even know I had PTSD. I had had patients, I had seen, you know, traumatized veterans and and all that, traumatized people. I knew all about it. I didn't look in the mirror, and it was me. and eventually it got to a point where I chose to leave the fire service. a career I loved, a family I loved. My wife got a great job. Yeah, this was in the Denver, Colorado area. My wife got a job in Courtleine, Idaho, where I had a brother that lived up here. We came and visited and it was beautiful. And so she took that job and we relocated thinking it would get better. Tying back back to identity now, I left the fire service. I didn't know who I was. I thought it would get better. I thought I would I talked myself into the concept that I was running to something better. And really what I was doing is I was running from myself, running from my past, running away, not not facing it. I didn't so the the Alcohol lasted a couple more years. The depression, very deep, dark, scary depression. For years I was not myself. I hit rock bottom. My family was gonna leave. And finally, there that was the trigger to look in the mirror, right? I actually read a firefighting magazine article on PTSD and first responders. And that I took, there was a little quiz at the end. I took it, I hit every single red flag. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. Darren: So I thought, I can fix myself. I started listening to podcasts, thinking, maybe I can get something out of these. Still not like accepting that I needed therapy. And the podcast I found that I kept going back to suggested if you listen to this, you need professional help. If you're having these signs. And I finally reached out, but it nearly took my family leaving. Me at the bottom of a bottle, hating life, working on jobs, suicidal. just ready to be done. And the hardest thing I ever did in my life was walking into a therapist's office. It wasn't running into a burning building. It was never, you know, doing these hard tasks. or it was it was harder than telling a parent their child had died. It was harder for me to ask for help. And that's pretty sad thinking about that, right? But once I did, everything opened up. It got lighter. Got brighter. I went through EMDR therapy, which is a treatment that really worked well for me. And there's several treatments out there, to where everything, like I said, everything got better. And I rebuilt my life. and actually started testing again to become a firefighter at I was 44 at the time. a lot of conversations with my therapist about it. And I did. I I started going to the gym again, feeling better about myself, creating a new community for me. And started training really hard to get back in the fire service. that's when the second hit happened. I was I was training so hard, I started having pain in my foot. And I went and saw a doctor, knowing I would have to have more surgeries at some point. And there was a chance I'd have to ri take the remaining toes off, and I was okay with it. So I walked in and said, What do you think, Doc? Do we need to just take these off so I can keep training? And he told me it's not that simple. He said, due to the extensive damage over the years, the bone heads in part of my foot and midfoot had degraded. So it wouldn't be just take the toes off, it would actually go back. half the foot and amputate half of the foot called a transmetatarsal amputation. with option B being another the another option of below the knee. So I was right back at 13 years old again, thinking I might lose my leg again. but I think what helped me was I had changed my mindset. I had seen the good in life again. Training, getting back to a happy spot, rebuilding my family. My mindset was great. So I, you know, those are my options. It was agreed, well, let's do the transmetatarsal amputation. It's the only way I'm gonna get better. And so I did that actually just over a year ago, completely healed. And again, at that time, they said it'll be a year recovery. I told myself it's gonna be a six month recovery, just because I'm that way. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Mm-hmm. Darren: they told me you'd never run again, you'd never do certain activities, running, jumping. Just because you don't have a lever on your foot anymore. they I enjoy surfing or wake surfing. they said because of the size, there's a very good chance, if not ever, that you'll ever be able to do that. So I challenged it, did my physical therapy, did my rehab, went back to the gym. and I was surfing three months after my amputation, wake surfing with my daughters, and it was on Father's Day, which meant a lot to me. yeah. And so that's a that's a huge thing. And I was mountain biking a few months after and running, I can, you know, I do like CrossFit type workouts with a lot of jumping, jump rope, running. I can do it all. so I feel like I'm back a hundred percent. And that's when I decided, you know, coaching someone else is more valuable to me now than go getting back in the fire service. I want to help the firefighters, the ones who protect that. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. So one one thing I I noticed throughout your story is that life just kept asking you the same question. What are you gonna now? So the the circumstances Darren: Yeah, yeah. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: changed, your age changed, your responsibility changed, but every time your response was rooted in the same decision to just keep moving forward. And and I think that's what makes your story so relatable, because while most people never experience exactly what you experienced, but Every one of us eventually reaches a moment where life asks us that same question, right? So today you've taken everything you've learned through those experiences and poured it into helping other people to rebuild their lives. And I would definitely like to spend the rest of our conversation talking about what you've learned and how others can apply those lessons in their own lives. So, Darren, we've spent a lot of time talking about your journey and everything you've been through, everything you've had to overcome and everything you've learned along the way. But now that you've reached a point where you're taking those experiences and using them to help other people navigate their own challenges, I'd love to shift the conversation from your story to the work you're doing today and some of the lessons you've learned that our listeners can apply to their own lives. So one statement on your website really resonated with me. You talk about helping other people rewrite their story from what broke me to what built me. And that's a super powerful shift, right? So for someone who feels completely defined by what's happened to them, what has to change internally before they can begin seeing their story through a different lens? Darren: Yeah, no, that's a great question, right? because you're exactly right. We all go through something. We all go through a lot. We're constantly being tested, and we have to recognize that. So I think to answer your question, we have you have to know yourself. Who are you? Deep down, figure out who you are, what you need to be. Umce you figure out who you are, you can start moving forward. Right. And recognizing that, you know, in in that statement, yeah, what from what broke you to what built you, accept the fact that one, we're not broken. We have some damage. Right. But it's fixable. We're all fixable through healing. Right. Understand that and just take small steps one day at a time to get better. Right. I I love this theory of the power of one more. Be 1% better every day. Do something a little bit more every single day. And eventually you're gonna get to where you need to be, right? And also don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help along the way. That's a big step that I've missed dozens of times, that a lot of people miss. And really take that template and it's just, it's easier, it's faster, right? Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah, that was actually gonna be my follow up question. So I like like Darren: great. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: do you think that's a realization that people come to on their own, or do you think that it often takes someone else helping them to see what's possible? Darren: I I think some people I think everyone has the capability to do it. It's the commitment, it's the dedication, it's the understanding, those all vary, right? also a lot of times you can't necessarily see through your own eyes something's wrong. Right. I had PTSD for years and had no idea, even though I was around it all the time, right? So I think that recognition. also goes back to who you are. but yeah, just the reaching out is a a faster process, more eyes on you, you know, and and also it's just self-acceptance. It gets rid of the ego, it gets rid of the pride. to say, it's okay to say I need help. And find the right person or someone who's capable of doing it to guide you. There's templates out there. There, that's why therapists exist, right? That's why doctors exist. If you fall and break your arm, you go see a doctor. It's the same thing, right? So I think just taking those steps to get better, once you recognize, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Because there's so much, there's so much out there. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah, we talk about that all the time. It's just unfortunately there's a stigma around asking for help as showing Darren: Yes. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: a sign of weakness. And honestly, it's actually showing a sign of strength because it Darren: Yes. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: takes a lot for people to do enough soul searching to even recognize that they've got something they need help with. So for you to come to that conclusion is already showing how strong you are, and then to put your ego aside to ask for help is another sign of strength. So weakness doesn't even factor into that. As far as I'm concerned. Darren: I completely agree with you. Yeah. yeah, it's it's just so important. And once you do that and you kind of you can create your mindset, build that res resilience, and just recognize you can the human body is capable of doing so much. I I love pointing this particular point out that you know there's there's tests for everything in the body, right? You can you can do scans, x-rays, you there's always a test. There is no test, there will never be a test of the human spirit in the human heart. It cannot be measured. So what the way I look at it is you can do anything with it. Just understand. If someone puts a limit on you, at least question it, if nothing else. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah. So another thing I appreciate about your message is that you don't talk about motivation nearly as much as you talk about transformation. And I relate to that a lot because when I do public speaking, I like to think of myself as not a motivational speaker, but a transformational speaker. Cause those are obviously two different things and you you get that very well like I do. but in your coaching, you focus on mindset, resilience, and mental performance. So for someone hearing those words the for the first time, they might think it's simply about staying positive, but that's clearly not what you're teaching. So what does real mindset work actually look like? And how does someone begin changing their life when they don't even know where to start? Darren: great question. Yeah, you know, my th exactly right. A lot of people think mindset is just, we're just training to be happy. That's not the case. That is not the case. Mindset is the way you view yourself and what you want and your goals, right? I teach a lot of different techniques to change that, right? So, you know, for instance, people I coach, they may have a sport specific goal. Great. But we teach, you know, how to field that ground ball when they drop it. The next play, if they're, you know, football, right? You drop that pass, that next play. Don't let that sit in your mind. It's about what comes next, right? So we teach ways to put the past in the past and look to the future. Right. So get back in the game. Yeah, that's an example for sport, but you can apply that to life, right? You get knocked down, you get back up. And there's techniques that I like to use to help coach people with that. Right. mental performance is very, very similar, same idea. resilience is honestly the same. It's just how to overcome a challenge. And anybody can do it, and we've all done it. If you You think back, you know, when you first learned to walk as a baby. You fell down. No one's ever walked, stood up and walked and never never sat down again, never fallen, right? We've all done it. So we can continue to do it. It's just having that mindset or that that drive to get up and do it again. And like I said, there's techniques to do so, and that's what we train. And that's that transformation, right? Training the entire body, your emotions. your feelings, everything about it has to change. not just we're gonna have happy talk. That that doesn't work. So like you, you know, to to your point of motivation versus transformation is huge. Transformation goes deep into the body. It's who you are. It's not, you know, just just talk. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: I love the example you give about the the kid getting up and walking because we just did a podcast the other day where I used someone riding a bike. And when you learn to ride a bike, you fall a bunch of times. Do you think that you're a failure because you're trying to ride a bike and you fall? Or do you get up and keep trying? It it's symbolic of life. You just need to get up and keep trying and don't accept it as, well, I'm just never gonna get it. You can, no matter what it is. So it is very similar comparison, I love that. Darren: Right. And I I think when we're kids, we do it all the time when we're kids. You skin your knee, you get back up. You know, and and it's always and it's fun and it's a challenge. As soon as we become adults for some reason, we forget that. And a lot of us do. And so that's why reach back. I reach back to that 13-year-old little boy that got crushed by a rock. He was much stronger than that 35, 37-year-old fireman. Right? He was stronger than that 45-year-old fireman. And now, you know, then I figured it out. So anybody can do it, if I can do it, anyone can. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: That's huge. That's profound. The reaching back to when there was a stronger version of yourself and what would that stronger version be doing or thinking at that time? That's huge. Darren: Right. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: I love that. So you also mentioned helping people identify hidden patterns that keep them stuck. So without giving away your entire coaching process, what are some of the most common patterns you see that people don't recognize in themselves? Darren: a lot of work I do, we look at habits. Right? We form habits. And that's, you know, in our brain, physiologically, your brain, in a sense, is inherently lazy, is the way I like to put it. We all do the same thing over and over. When you come into your house, you put your keys in the same spot. Right? When you put your shoes on, it's most likely the right before the left or the left before the right, but it's consistent, right? We all have habits and patterns. And We can kind of walk through and notice where we have bad habits. And we can try to reframe our habits and reform them. And re by doing that, we can reframe the mindset. And so I do a lot of work with finding what is holding us back, finding that trigger. And if we can reshape it, we can lead to new outcomes. So a lot of work in habit formation, the motivation. I use a lot of visualization techniques as well. I know a lot of anyone listening that's more into kind of sports science or sports, right? You visualize that baseball coming at you, you visualize the football or or you know or or whatever, the course that you're running or skiing on, right? by then you know what's coming ahead, right? So you can use visualization outside of the that arena too. if you visualize the day going how you want, you're gonna change your habits. You're gonna change your mindset and you know, and basically go it, you know, go the way you want in an effort to improve yourself. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Absolutely, 100%. So for the people listening that may not have experienced exactly what you've experienced, they might not be firefighters, they may not be amputees, they may be grieving though, or they may be burnt out while struggling with whatever mental health issues, or as as we like to talk about, mental fitness, and because sometimes there's just too much of a stigma around mental health, and so if people think they're having a bad day and they don't want someone to say, well, are you depressed? No, I'm not depressed. They get defensive, right? Darren: Right. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: so they may be dealing with some mental health or trying to rebuild after a divorce or a job loss or addiction, you know, or just simply feel like they've lost hope. But if somebody listening feels like life has knocked them down and they honestly don't know where to begin, what would be the first thing you'd want them to hear from you today? Darren: really that you can. You can get over it. You can do it. Right. I'm a big fan of you set your own limits. Right? I said earlier, whether you can, or you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. And I would also add on don't let somebody else set your limits. So if if you want to hit this goal or overcome this challenge, one You need to kind of confirm in yourself, I want to do this. You need to look deep inside and find out what are what's the true challenge and commit. And then search for someone that you can work with, somebody that you can that resonates well with you, searching for, you know, that professional that can get you through it. there are lots of therapists, there are a lot of coaches. And the one thing I really enjoy, and again, I am a coach, but There's a difference between coaching and therapy, right? And I'm not knocking therapy one bit because I am a very strong proponent of it. However, therapy looks at the past and recovery. Coaching looks at the present to the future, really a discovery process, right? You're discovering who you are. A coach will walk through that process with you. So find what works for you if you need need counseling or therapy first, 100%. And then if you need help getting there, then maybe a coach is is an option for you. Or really just a trusted friend or so someone with experience that may be able to get you there, right? it's a great option. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah, you you echo so many things that Marc and I have both said before. It's it's Darren: Ha ha ha. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: fantastic. It's it's like affirmation. so anyway, Darren, I really want to thank you for your openness today. But one thing that really stood out to me throughout our conversation is that your story isn't really about surviving trauma. It's about refusing to let trauma have the final word. And I think that's a message every one of us can benefit from hearing. So As we always do on Rebuild and Fulfill, when we bring guests on, we love to give you the opportunity to tell everyone a little bit more about the work that you're doing and how people can connect with you. So who are the people that you feel most called to serve? And what's the best way for someone to get in contact with you if they feel like they're ready to take that next step and you seem like the person that they want to do it with? And then also where can people find you online to follow your work or reach out to you if they like to learn more about what you're doing? Darren: yeah. so I own a company called Ashes to Ascent Coaching. it's where I help people overcome their challenges, right? I work with anyone who's dedicated to overcoming a challenge and wants to get better in life. I have a strong affinity you know, specifically first responders, veterans and amputees where I w I literally walk beside you in those shoes, so to speak. walk through the fire with you to get you where you need. Again, I have first hand experience as a first responder as an amputee two-time amputee. sometimes you just have to have that example running through it with you, right? So that's the population I serve, but really anybody dedicated wanting to to overcome a challenge, right? So you can find me online, ashes to ascent dot com. I'm on Instagram. or you can email me, Darren at ashes2ascent.com. I also do, like I said, motivational speaking. So if you need somebody to come talk to a group, I talk with you know, first responders, students, team, you know, athletic teams, even you know, corporate groups, if you want to you need that leadership team cohesion, to have it like your next event. But E or honestly, even if you wanna just send me an email and talk. I'd be happy to do that. This is this is a passion of mine. This is honestly my why. This my my love. I do this for that. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: Yeah, and and I love the fact that you really kind of hone in on on that niche. And obviously anybody would would draw inspiration from your story. But as Marc and I always say, with the different things that we both have been through, and that's why we collaborate, is because of the fact that between the two of us, we have so much lived life experience that allows other people to understand that we've been there. We, you know, Darren: Right. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: we can get in the trenches with you because we're familiar with the territory. And so for you with amputees or people who deal with PTSD. I think that's awesome. And certainly anyone that is dealing with that set of circumstances, I really hope that they reach out to you. I think this has been an amazing conversation. And I'm so glad that we had it. And I have no doubt there are people listening who really needed this conversation, and I hope it encourages them to believe that no matter what chapter they're in, there is still another chapter waiting to be written. So Darren, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it. Darren: Right. I had a great time. Thank you so much. I really, really appreciate this. This is it's been an honor. Kelsey Dunbar Co-Founder S2T: For sure. ours as well. And and and certainly thank you to everyone listening and who's spending a part of their day with us here on Rebuild and Fulfill. And if today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, or reminded you that your story isn't over, we'd love it if you'd subscribe, leave us a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a little hope today, because you never know whose life could change simply because you decide to share a conversation like this. So until next time, remember this, your past. may explain your story, but it never has to define your future. So keep rebuilding, keep growing, and keep choosing fulfillment. And we will see you next time on Rebuild and Fulfill. Take care, everyone.