Latest / Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach / EP 24: The Midweek Reset: Stuck In The Comparison Trap? 3 Quick Ways To Get Out

Transcript

EP 24: The Midweek Reset: Stuck In The Comparison Trap? 3 Quick Ways To Get Out · Healthy Boundaries for Moms| Christian Life Coach

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  Have you ever noticed that comparison usually doesn't motivate us in the way that we think
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  it will?
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  Because most of the time it actually just leaves us discouraged, insecure, it leaves
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  us distracted, emotionally overwhelmed, and feeling completely stuck.
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  And maybe you're noticing that right now and it's midweek and you feel like you're in a
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  slump, you're feeling down and you're feeling behind, maybe you're feeling a little discouraged,
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  you're stuck in your head, or you're feeling like everybody is doing life better than you.
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  And slowly comparison starts stealing your peace and your focus and your confidence.
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  So today moms, I want to give you a quick reset plan for when you are feeling yourself
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  get stuck in that comparison trap.
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  If you're tired of people pleasing, caring too much, and wondering why peace still feels
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  so hard to hold on to, you're in the right place.
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  Hi, I'm Lori, mom, former people pleaser, and your boundaries coach.
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  Here we talk about how to protect your peace, set healthier boundaries, and get clear on
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  what actually matters so that you can build a life that feels lighter, calmer, and more
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  satisfying.
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  So let's stop the chaos for a minute moms, catch our breath, and get into this next episode.
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  Welcome back to Healthy Boundaries for Moms.
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  This is your midweek reset.
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  So this week on my previous episode, we talked about why so many moms are losing confidence
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  and how comparison quietly eats away at our peace, our contentment, and even our focus.
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  So if you're hitting that midweek slump, you are feeling that discouragement creep in,
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  you're feeling the weight and the emotional heaviness of it, some insecurities coming
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  in, or just maybe you're mentally stuck.
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  This is the episode for you because we are going to take this moment to pause, to reset,
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  and to reconnect with what actually matters because friend, you do not need to stay trapped
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  there.
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  Okay?
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  So first part of our reset is going to be recentering yourself.
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  So what is the first step when you feel like it's out of control or you're stuck?
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  I want you to recenter yourself because the first thing to do when you notice comparison
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  is taking over is this recentering because comparison usually comes with overstimulation,
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  right?
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  Because we're scrolling too much, we have too much noise, there's too much input going
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  on, we have too many opinions coming at us, or maybe we're just studying everybody else's
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  life.
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  And eventually your brain is like getting overwhelmed and emotionally dysregulated.
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  So before we try to fix anything, we need to stop and we need to calm our nervous system.
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  Okay?
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  So that may mean you need to put the phone down.
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  Okay?
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  Maybe you need to shut the TV off.
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  You need to step away from the social media.
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  And you need to get quiet for a little while.
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  And then reconnecting with your actual real life through something tactile.
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  What do I mean by tactile?
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  I mean, you can touch it, feel it, smell it, taste it.
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  Okay?
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  This will help us to calm down.
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  So some examples of that would be go for a walk, read a book, an actual book.
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  Okay?
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  Take a bath.
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  Maybe you want to sit outside.
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  Journal.
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  You can pray or meditate.
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  Maintain one small space.
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  Okay?
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  Because these kinds of activities help us to regulate our nervous system and it will
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  help you to reconnect with the current and present moment instead of being stuck in that
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  comparison spiral.
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  You cannot think clearly while being constantly overstimulated.
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  And I love what Psalm 46 10 says, be still and know that I am God.
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  Sometimes guys, we need to just quiet the noise long enough to connect with God, to
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  ourselves and to the life that's right in front of us.
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  Okay.
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  So number two, reconnect with what you actually wouldn't trade.
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  So one thing I've noticed when I get stuck in this trap, as I start focusing on what
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  I don't have, instead of reconnecting with the things that I deeply value in my own life
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  and sometimes I have to stop and remind myself, wait, okay, there are so many things in my
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  life I would actually never trade.
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  Like I wouldn't trade my kids for anybody else's kids.
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  I wouldn't trade my husband.
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  I mean on most days I wouldn't trade my husband.
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  I'm just kidding.
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  I wouldn't trade the home I live in or the neighborhood.
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  I love my neighborhood that we're in.
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  And I wouldn't trade the growth that I've experienced in my mental health, in my health
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  journey.
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  I've gained muscle.
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  I've lost weight and I'm becoming stronger physically and mentally every single day.
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  And I think comparison just creates this temporary type of blindness where we stop seeing the
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  goodness that's already in our life currently.
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  Because comparison is like taking a magnifying glass to look at what we're lacking while
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  really just minimizing over here with what we actually love about our life.
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  And if we're honest, most of us wouldn't actually trade lives with the people we're comparing
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  ourselves to.
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  We're usually just emotionally fixated on this one part of their life.
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  And that's why contentment matters so much.
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  In Philippians 4, Paul says, I have learned to be content in whatever the circumstances.
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  So contentment is just something that we learn.
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  We have to practice it.
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  In comparison, it's the enemy of contentment and satisfaction.
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  So here's the third step.
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  I want you to create some quick wins in the areas that matter to you.
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  So when we are comparing, it's actually leaving us focused on everything that we aren't doing,
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  right?
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  And the longer we sit in that discouragement, the more stuck we get and the more stuck we
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  feel.
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  So instead, instead of spiraling emotionally, we need to try to create some kind of movement.
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  It doesn't need to be perfect.
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  We're not doing this extreme overhaul.
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  We're just taking one intentional step forward.
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  So the win that you're going to try to create is going to be in the area that you are feeling
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  some discouragement about.
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  So if one of the areas is health, maybe a quick win would be go for a walk, get more
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  steps in.
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  Or maybe you're lacking protein.
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  So make a shake that has protein.
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  Or maybe you just didn't meet your water goal or you wish you drank more water.
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  Well go ahead and do that.
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  Go ahead and get yourself some water.
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  And I've also noticed that if I'm feeling disconnected relationally, maybe the win for
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  me is just having a quick conversation that I've been avoiding.
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  Or maybe if it's a longer conversation, I need to schedule intentional time with maybe
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  my husband or my kids.
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  Or how about putting my phone down and really trying to connect with my kids instead of
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  that distracted connection that we do sometimes.
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  So if I've been feeling stressed financially, a quick win would look like simply evaluating
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  how I handled money that day.
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  Like what was the good things that I did?
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  What were the things I want to work on?
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  And without the shame, I'm just getting awareness so that I can make some changes.
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  Because quick wins create momentum and momentum helps rebuild our confidence.
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  And then our confidence will grow after we've taken the action.
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  We got to remember that.
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  Not before, but after we take that action.
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  And I love what Zachariah 410 says.
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  It says, do not despise these small beginnings.
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  So intentional steps matter more than what we give it.
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  We don't give it enough value.
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  So friend, comparison is one of the fastest ways for us to lose peace, to lose our confidence
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  and our focus.
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  But you do not need to completely reinvent your life when this happens.
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  We just need to, one, recenter ourselves and reconnect.
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  We need to focus on the value of what's in your actual life, like what you would not
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  trade and take one small, faithful step forward.
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  So if you've been feeling stuck, you've been feeling discouraged, insecure, behind, I want
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  you to stop looking over here and looking over there and start faithfully walking in
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  the life God already gave you.
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  And I truly hope this helps you with the rest of your week and the weeks going forward
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  because I want you to reconnect with the peace that you are supposed to have.
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  And I want you to reconnect with confidence.
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  And I hope you remember that you do not need to become somebody else to have value, purpose
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  and worth.
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  You are already deeply loved by God and exactly where you are supposed to be.
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  And like my mentor always used to say, you're alright already.
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  Hey friend, I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
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  If so, would you take 30 seconds and go join our free Facebook page at Healthy Boundaries
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  for Moms?
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  That's where we go deeper, share what's actually working and support each other in real life.
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  I will also share some great tools and tips to help you along this journey.
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  group.
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  Don't forget to hit follow and leave a quick review on Apple.
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  It really lets me know that this podcast is helping you.
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  More importantly, it helps more women find this podcast.
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  Now go say no to something that's stealing your peace and say yes to something you actually
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  need.
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  And I'll meet you back here in the next episode.