Latest / Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic / 25: Monday Moment: The Question That Interrupts Anxiety

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25: Monday Moment: The Question That Interrupts Anxiety · Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic

• 0:01
  Happy Monday.
• 0:03
  I was reminded of something recently that changed the way I handle anxiety.
• 0:07
  I.
• 0:08
  Years ago, before hosting my very first webinar, I got so anxious that I stopped sleeping and barely ate for a couple of days leading up to the event.
• 0:18
  The fear just felt enormous and I tried several of the things that people often recommend when anxiety shows up.
• 0:28
  Breath work, EFT, tapping, exercise, and a few other things, and each one of them helped a little and then the anxiety would come right back.
• 0:40
  I also tried affirmations because at the time everyone was talking about them, and I am guessing, you know, the types of statements I'm talking about, things like saying I'm confident or I'm calm, or I can do this, and apparently they work even better if you say them well looking in the mirror.
• 1:02
  But if I'm honest, affirmations have never really worked well for me, especially when I am super anxious.
• 1:10
  When my brain is in full panic mode, saying something like I'm confident feels a little bit like putting a bandage on a hemorrhage.
• 1:20
  I almost said hemorrhoid there.
• 1:21
  That would've been unfortunate, but you get the idea anyway.
• 1:27
  Thankfully, a friend suggested something surprisingly simple.
• 1:32
  Instead of telling yourself something you don't quite believe, try asking a question that sparks curiosity.
• 1:40
  For example, how could this actually be fun?
• 1:44
  Or how might this go better than I expect?
• 1:48
  Or even how might I grow from this experience?
• 1:52
  When you ask a question like that, something interesting happens.
• 1:56
  Instead of arguing with the anxious voice in your head, you give your brain a job to do.
• 2:02
  It actually starts searching for answers.
• 2:05
  Now I'm not a neuroscientist, but many people who study the mind talk about how anxiety and creativity rely on different parts of the brain.
• 2:14
  Anxiety scans for threats.
• 2:16
  It's constantly asking things like what could go wrong.
• 2:20
  Creativity, on the other hand, looks for possibilities and the moment.
• 2:24
  You ask a curiosity question, your brain has to move in that direction.
• 2:30
  It can't stay fully focused on the threat while it's also trying to generate possibilities at the same time.
• 2:37
  So instead of staying stuck in questions like, what if this goes badly?
• 2:44
  What will people think?
• 2:45
  Or what if I mess up?
• 2:47
  You can shift your mind in a different direction.
• 2:51
  Just ask a curiosity based question.
• 2:55
  Things like, how could this actually go better than I expect?
• 2:59
  Or how might this experience stretch me in a good way?
• 3:03
  Or even, how can I make this fun?
• 3:08
  That's one of my favorites.
• 3:10
  Your brain will still search for answers because that's what it does, but now it's searching for possibilities instead of threats.
• 3:20
  So.
• 3:21
  If anxiety shows up this week, maybe try this pause and ask a different kind of question.
• 3:30
  You might be surprised where your brain goes when you point it in a new direction.
• 3:35
  Okay, have a good one.