Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Bonus Episode: Kill Chain

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Bonus Episode: Kill Chain · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

• 0:00
  Oh, God. Oh, my God.
• 0:12
  Well, this certainly was a movie.
• 0:14
  Yeah, it took me.
• 0:15
  No preamble, no.
• 0:17
  I don't know.
• 0:17
  Two or so two or so kills before I figured out like,
• 0:21
  oh, this is just why they call it kill chain because there's a chain of kills.
• 0:25
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 0:26
  And we're just going to watch a bunch of like montages of deaths, basically.
• 0:31
  Kind of. And then it stops and then it starts again. Yeah. Yeah.
• 0:35
  I was a little saddened when we broke away from Nicholas Cage in the beginning.
• 0:40
  Me too. I was like, oh, this is a big 40 minute gap with no cage.
• 0:45
  Yeah. Which is like, but only to re show the same scene from the beginning.
• 0:50
  Yeah. That was that was all from a different angle, from a different angle.
• 0:53
  But so that was only put in there solely to let you know
• 0:56
  Nicholas Cage would be in this film eventually.
• 0:59
  Yeah. And to create like the initial loop.
• 1:02
  Yeah, I guess that's true.
• 1:03
  I do think that it was more cage bait. Yeah.
• 1:06
  Yeah. It's like, hey, no, no, he's here.
• 1:08
  Don't worry.
• 1:10
  You don't have to wait until the end of the movie.
• 1:12
  Well, you've got Nicholas Cage now. Yeah.
• 1:14
  Oh, now just wait until the end of the movie for the rest of the Nicholas Cage.
• 1:19
  So I'm going to wait till the end of the podcast to do the intro.
• 1:21
  Good. Yeah, I like that.
• 1:22
  Yeah. We'll loop back to it.
• 1:24
  Yeah. Obviously, we're talking about Kill Chain from 2019 starring
• 1:28
  Nicholas Cage and Jason Stackhouse.
• 1:31
  Yeah, he is in there. Yeah.
• 1:33
  Also the guy from Just Shoot Me. Yeah.
• 1:35
  That guy, too.
• 1:37
  And to which I responded to Sean David Spade.
• 1:40
  And then I was like, no, the bald guy who in theaters like it was a joke.
• 1:43
  I'm like, oh, I was very tired last night.
• 1:46
  And then I thought I'm like, David Spade, this movie would be great.
• 1:49
  Kind of awesome. Right.
• 1:50
  Like, I think that's my beef with it is that.
• 1:52
  It's not David Spade's not it. Yes, that's number one.
• 1:55
  But no, like I feel like if you're going to play up all these, you know,
• 1:57
  the very bad woman, the old sniper, you know, all these character names
• 2:01
  and everything, it's like, go fucking wild.
• 2:03
  Yeah. Cast away. Yeah.
• 2:05
  And then they didn't.
• 2:07
  Well, so right when we fired up this movie at home,
• 2:11
  I had just read an article
• 2:15
  stating that like the Writers Guild was advising
• 2:18
  its members not to work with Millennium films.
• 2:22
  And then it's just Millennium films.
• 2:24
  And I was like, oh, it's going to be one of those films. Nice.
• 2:28
  And it was. Yeah.
• 2:29
  I enjoyed the ride.
• 2:32
  Yeah. Try it.
• 2:33
  Try and give us a summary.
• 2:34
  Whoever wants to take a stab at that.
• 2:36
  How about we just go back? We'll ping pong this.
• 2:38
  What is like each tell it? Go go for a scene.
• 2:41
  You're fucking fine.
• 2:43
  So it starts off in a hotel.
• 2:45
  Nick Cage is a hotel keeper.
• 2:47
  Yeah, he's a clerk. Clerk.
• 2:49
  That's the word. He's the owner of a hotel.
• 2:51
  So a real piece of shit part of town.
• 2:53
  A real shit piece.
• 2:54
  Shit piece part of part. Wow.
• 2:57
  Uh huh. We'll keep that. Yeah.
• 2:59
  Some gentlemen, no good next come in.
• 3:03
  And not like me.
• 3:04
  I'm a real good Nick.
• 3:08
  Continue. Take his take Nick Cage's guns and make generally threatening
• 3:13
  remarks about him like having stayed in one place too long.
• 3:17
  And when he offers to tell them a story, it then hard cuts to
• 3:22
  an old sniper looking at a rice cookers.
• 3:26
  Wow. My brain.
• 3:27
  Nick, you go, let my brain like buffer. Yeah.
• 3:32
  Yeah. So we've got sniper looking at rice cookers
• 3:35
  and he eventually gets into a situation where it's like,
• 3:39
  oh, no, there's a sniper on the other roof.
• 3:41
  Like who's sniping who?
• 3:43
  And so we get through that scene with him getting shot
• 3:46
  and laying on the ground.
• 3:49
  And so it pans over to, I don't know, somebody else
• 3:53
  who's going to get shot.
• 3:54
  And then that leads us backwards even more to this other person who dies.
• 4:01
  And they just kind of progressively like fold away
• 4:05
  until like you get back through the origami crane to Nicolas Cage
• 4:12
  and this lady.
• 4:14
  And like none of the stories like necessarily matter.
• 4:17
  Yeah. Or really all interlinked.
• 4:19
  Like, yeah, I mean, the sniper getting shot by the other sniper,
• 4:21
  then that sniper is in the car with Jason Stackhouse.
• 4:24
  Yeah. It's killed.
• 4:25
  So the sniper who killed the sniper was the older snipers protege.
• 4:29
  Yeah. Right. But none of that like arrested by comes together so much
• 4:33
  until like the end does.
• 4:34
  But it doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Yeah.
• 4:37
  Then there's a lady who's maybe a prostitute.
• 4:40
  And then, yeah.
• 4:41
  And then maybe her madam is there. Is that it?
• 4:44
  Was that the vibe?
• 4:45
  I kind of I think or like some crime lord, like her lady was a crime lord.
• 4:51
  And that was one of the sexiest stabbings I've ever seen.
• 4:54
  Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 4:55
  I was I was ready to stab a little bit myself.
• 4:58
  Oh, no. This is my penis.
• 5:01
  I got it. Yeah.
• 5:04
  Yeah. And then it all boils back down until you get the story of like
• 5:08
  why Nicolas Cage is in this.
• 5:11
  I know. Is this Bolivia? Is this very, very confusing?
• 5:15
  Because I'm like the sex worker that they were in a school.
• 5:18
  So I know that that old sniper brings up as a distraction technique.
• 5:22
  She was American.
• 5:24
  Mm hmm. Yeah.
• 5:25
  All the characters were pretty definitely not of this nation
• 5:30
  because nobody had accents.
• 5:32
  Yeah. Unimportant. Yeah.
• 5:34
  Even though Nick Cage plays a character named Aranya.
• 5:36
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 5:39
  Yeah.
• 5:40
  Well, and there's that one extended scene that's in Spanish.
• 5:44
  Oh, right. That's your version.
• 5:46
  And my version, the version I had had a German subtitles for the Spanish.
• 5:50
  I was able to follow for the most part.
• 5:51
  I like paused it after the second sniper gets shot in the back of the squad car.
• 5:56
  And I like text Peter.
• 5:57
  I'm like, how much of this is in Spanish?
• 6:00
  Because I'm following it well enough with what little Spanish I have.
• 6:04
  But if there's much more, I should probably like find a version.
• 6:07
  A different version.
• 6:09
  And then Peter's like, it's on prime. I'm like, OK. Yeah.
• 6:12
  I have definitely done that before, where I like downloaded a film
• 6:16
  and just been like, oops, OK, there's no subtitle track to this.
• 6:19
  Like the Wolverine.
• 6:21
  Oh, man. So much of that is in Japanese.
• 6:24
  And then I just sat there and was like, I don't have subtitle tracks for this.
• 6:27
  This is all in Japanese.
• 6:28
  You get the you get the feeling from it, though.
• 6:31
  Yeah. You can. I guess you can translate. Yeah.
• 6:33
  Japanese Japanese emotion into.
• 6:36
  Yeah, it's totally fine motion.
• 6:38
  Yes, I mean, definitely translate that.
• 6:40
  So what it all ultimately comes down to is Nick Cage is on a revenge quest
• 6:46
  because his ex partner Franco Franco, not Franco's real name.
• 6:52
  Franco and him were set to do a drop.
• 6:57
  It goes wrong. So like, you know, burn the product, which happened to be like
• 7:00
  young girls. Franco adopted one of the girls as like his own.
• 7:06
  The snipers were the cleanup crew and killed the rest of the girls at one point.
• 7:11
  The cops were responsible for Franco's daughter's death.
• 7:15
  Franco went to get revenge and he was killed by the female mob boss, the madam.
• 7:21
  You followed this movie way better than I did.
• 7:23
  They sum it up in three minutes at the end.
• 7:25
  It's not what the only part of it that's complicated is the setup
• 7:29
  makes no sense, like in terms of how he like pushed that first domino.
• 7:32
  But like, who's important to who made perfect sense.
• 7:35
  Yeah. The only part that kind of got me in like and I was like,
• 7:38
  oh, at the end of the film, when he like walks into the hotel room
• 7:41
  and like the first snipers there, I'm like,
• 7:44
  because I thought the sniper was across the street.
• 7:47
  Oh, no, no, it was.
• 7:48
  But then they even said, like, you know, you only have two guests.
• 7:50
  And I'm like, I should have put it together.
• 7:51
  So I was like, it's all there.
• 7:55
  Masterpiece masterpiece.
• 7:57
  And then it completely falls down at the end because the sniper
• 8:00
  has a daughter of his own, who's at a University of Richmond.
• 8:03
  And his boss is going to go after his daughter if the second
• 8:07
  because the second sniper died.
• 8:09
  It's like, you have to save her.
• 8:10
  And Nick Cage like, all right, ends with him like calling
• 8:14
  like this stranger to tell her your dad's dead and I'm going to come get you.
• 8:18
  Yeah, I'm a protect you.
• 8:19
  Yeah, don't worry. Trust me. I'm the spider.
• 8:22
  I am the Aranya, the Aranya.
• 8:29
  Those of you who don't
• 8:30
  Abla Espanol, the Aranya is Spanish for El Spider.
• 8:37
  I read a Collider review from 2019.
• 8:40
  Getting a fucking phone call from Costco right now.
• 8:43
  All of Costco.
• 8:44
  Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up.
• 8:45
  Put them on the podcast.
• 8:46
  I'm not a scab and I do not respond to such.
• 8:50
  So I was reading this Collider article
• 8:52
  because there's not a lot of stuff about this movie out there.
• 8:55
  Yeah, really.
• 8:56
  People aren't just talking about so many people in this movie.
• 8:59
  So this guy, Chester C. Jones, wrote.
• 9:01
  This is my favorite paragraph from the ideal way to watch.
• 9:03
  This is sprawled out on your couch while you work or surf the Internet.
• 9:06
  Watch another TV show, eat a burrito or just sleep.
• 9:09
  Anything really?
• 9:11
  Think of it as a cinematic equivalent to ASMR.
• 9:14
  And that's actually exactly how it was for me.
• 9:16
  Like I could not have summed this movie up like you did
• 9:18
  because I basically went into a fugue state during almost all of it.
• 9:22
  I was I was intrigued by the whole thing.
• 9:25
  I don't know why it's not good, but I was just like probably because no scene
• 9:28
  lasts for like no part of this movie is more than a five minute movie.
• 9:32
  So just every time I'm just like kind of like, yeah, it's like, oh, so new.
• 9:36
  Yeah, a new part.
• 9:37
  That is true. Entirely new people.
• 9:38
  I just like dead stared at the TV for like 40 minutes,
• 9:43
  like Nicolas Cage is coming back.
• 9:44
  We're going to get back to this.
• 9:47
  You're white knuckling it.
• 9:48
  Yeah. Josie's already asleep on the couch.
• 9:51
  The dogs are just doing dog stuff.
• 9:53
  And I just have to sit there and watch Kill Chain.
• 9:55
  So did anyone else look up?
• 9:56
  Did anyone look up what this director has done?
• 9:58
  Yeah, he did. He did four episodes of numbers.
• 10:01
  Ooh. But he also did the replacement killers.
• 10:04
  Yeah. It's probably like which numbers.
• 10:06
  Seven. OK, I like that episode.
• 10:09
  Yeah, I think also 14 and 12, actually.
• 10:13
  Oh, OK. Good. Good numbers. Yeah.
• 10:16
  I mean, but he probably best known for directing the replacement killer.
• 10:19
  He was actually just the writer for that. Oh, he was.
• 10:21
  Yeah. Somebody else directed that one.
• 10:23
  Anyway, yeah.
• 10:24
  But I mean, that is what he is certainly best known for in a good movie.
• 10:27
  Yeah. But yeah, I look.
• 10:29
  What happened to Cheyenne fat?
• 10:31
  I know he was in that horrible Dragon Ball movie.
• 10:34
  Yeah, boy, that was a fucking movie.
• 10:36
  I think you're in the back.
• 10:37
  Yeah, old fat.
• 10:42
  I should. I hate that.
• 10:44
  I laughed at that, too. Yes.
• 10:46
  Encourage me. No.
• 10:49
  You're going to be Peter's problem soon.
• 10:51
  That's true. Yeah.
• 10:52
  I mean, I had a really cool career and it does seem like he just sort of stopped.
• 10:56
  Probably just went back to, I mean, just doing Hong Kong and cinema.
• 10:59
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 11:00
  I mean, he's like a fucking hero over there.
• 11:02
  So I mean, he is kind of like sweet pocket in the wind.
• 11:07
  Sweet pocket.
• 11:08
  When did a crouching tiger come out?
• 11:11
  I mean, we were children.
• 11:13
  Yeah. I mean, we were pretty young.
• 11:14
  I would guess it was like 1998.
• 11:15
  Yeah. 97, 96, 2000.
• 11:19
  I danced around it.
• 11:20
  Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
• 11:21
  Replacement Killers was directed by Antoine Fuqua.
• 11:24
  Oh, yeah. Fuqua.
• 11:25
  What else did he do?
• 11:26
  What else did a different director do that isn't related to kill?
• 11:31
  He did the equalizer.
• 11:32
  Well, this is a director chain training day.
• 11:34
  Oh, yeah, that's right.
• 11:36
  The Magnificent Seven, the bad one.
• 11:39
  Oh, Olympus has fallen.
• 11:41
  Oh, that that's the White House movie.
• 11:43
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 11:44
  I watched that one time, like very hung over or something.
• 11:48
  I was like, this movie sucks.
• 11:49
  Like, what the fuck was that a renter seeing that?
• 11:53
  No.
• 11:54
  Uh, Olympus has fallen is Morgan Freeman.
• 11:58
  And I was going to say it sounds like a dead zone.
• 12:01
  Washington, it's a Gerard Butler.
• 12:02
  Oh, OK. Yeah.
• 12:04
  All right. That makes sense.
• 12:05
  That is, yeah, kind of renter adjacent.
• 12:09
  What is and then there's the other series
• 12:11
  that's more or less the same with Channing Tatum White House Down.
• 12:15
  That's the one.
• 12:15
  Yep. Very similar.
• 12:17
  You know, this shit would never would have happened
• 12:18
  if we would have elected President Harrison Ford for a second term.
• 12:22
  It's true.
• 12:23
  I think my favorite kill was one of the more subtle kills in this movie.
• 12:27
  In the kill chain.
• 12:27
  Mm hmm. I liked the poisoning.
• 12:30
  Oh, yeah, that was a good one.
• 12:31
  Yeah. The poisoning was a good kill. Yeah.
• 12:34
  What was your favorite kill?
• 12:36
  Uh, other than sexy stabbing.
• 12:38
  Sexy, sexy stabbing could be your favorite kill. That's fine.
• 12:41
  Yeah, I don't know.
• 12:44
  This movie is kind of like pretty sedate until like in terms of like
• 12:47
  the violence until it's not, because when the guy gets his brains
• 12:50
  blown out in the car, that's pretty like visceral.
• 12:53
  But when dude gets shotgunned.
• 12:56
  Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. Shotgunning.
• 12:58
  Yeah. I did enjoy the Jason Stackhouse, Miguel argument.
• 13:03
  Death. Oh, yeah. The car shootout. Yeah.
• 13:05
  I what annoys me about this chain of kills is these like professional killers.
• 13:13
  It's like, OK, I'm going to like sneak the door open to get him to come out.
• 13:16
  I'm like, I don't think that's an armored car.
• 13:18
  Just shoot through the door.
• 13:20
  Yeah. Right. Just shoot through the fucking door.
• 13:23
  It's like a Toyota.
• 13:24
  Like, come on. Yeah.
• 13:26
  I did enjoy the like, oh, the feeder coming down.
• 13:29
  He shoots him right through the legs. Oh, he's collapsing.
• 13:31
  Oh, it was the corpse. That was kind of sick.
• 13:33
  That was that was fucking Jason Stackhouse dips his head down on the other side.
• 13:39
  It's like, oh, I got you.
• 13:40
  His is the only death we don't see.
• 13:42
  We just hear him. Yeah.
• 13:43
  Because the crazy. He gets tortured. Yeah. Right. Right.
• 13:47
  And then she like kidnaps that guy to drive her down to the hotel. Uh huh.
• 13:52
  And then does kind of a little sexy strip tease in the back.
• 13:56
  And she's like, you can look, but don't don't crash the car.
• 13:59
  I don't care if you look so weird.
• 14:02
  So he looks a lot. Yeah.
• 14:04
  Until she just takes the mirror with Nicholas Cage.
• 14:07
  Yeah. That's the part that annoyed me the most is she when she like tears off
• 14:10
  his rear view mirror.
• 14:14
  You got to do my makeup.
• 14:16
  But then, yeah, there's the needless sex with Nicholas Cage.
• 14:19
  Just so she could say she had sex with Nicholas Cage
• 14:21
  when like people come and look for her.
• 14:23
  Yeah, I don't know.
• 14:24
  Yeah, it didn't make a ton of sense.
• 14:26
  It's like, oh, this is going to inspire him to help me. Right.
• 14:29
  I mean,
• 14:31
  newsflash once they have the sex, it's it doesn't matter.
• 14:34
  Yeah. Like.
• 14:36
  But he's also maybe an assassin who's like seen too much or like kind of over it,
• 14:41
  because that was the reason and reasoning for the handler gave for retiring.
• 14:46
  The older sniper was just like, you've lost your edge.
• 14:49
  You don't drink anymore. You don't fuck anymore.
• 14:51
  That's right.
• 14:52
  Like, you're not drowning your sorrows of the horrible things you've done.
• 14:55
  And we're worried you're going to talk.
• 14:56
  You found peace.
• 14:58
  We don't like that too much time.
• 15:00
  Just looking at yourself in the mirror.
• 15:02
  Now, it's no bueno.
• 15:04
  See Spanish. Yeah, right.
• 15:05
  It sounds very good. The Iran. Yeah.
• 15:07
  I don't just traveling with a rice cooker seems like a pain in the ass.
• 15:11
  It really does. It does. Yeah.
• 15:13
  I mean, unless you like store some shit in there also, they have to clean it.
• 15:16
  And it doesn't look like he's saying at the most reputable places. That's true.
• 15:19
  I do like that.
• 15:20
  He's looking into a travel sized rice cooker.
• 15:24
  And the question that like knocks him out of it from his daughter is just like,
• 15:29
  how much does rice cost?
• 15:31
  Like wherever you go, how much is rice?
• 15:33
  It's cheap. Just don't even a dollar.
• 15:36
  Yeah. You clearly have money as you keep sending money to me for my schooling.
• 15:41
  I thought one of the things about this movie that actually looked pretty good
• 15:43
  is the fact that it looked pretty good.
• 15:45
  Like it's shot well. Shot well.
• 15:47
  A little shaky little shaky cam, which mean whatever.
• 15:51
  But I like the lighting palette.
• 15:53
  You know, I thought that was cool.
• 15:56
  I mean, the cage is fun in this.
• 15:57
  I like when he's telling his story.
• 15:59
  I did. He is a fun guy.
• 16:00
  I did hate that.
• 16:01
  It starts off with like, you want to hear a story and then it cuts to dude in the room.
• 16:06
  And then we go through the kill chain and then it just gets back to like,
• 16:09
  you want to hear a story. I'm like, so that wasn't the story.
• 16:10
  Yeah, here's a different story.
• 16:13
  But I just like when he's kind of doing his monologue
• 16:15
  and one of the killers like there's the guy he poisoned that's on the table
• 16:19
  that we know is dead.
• 16:20
  But one of the train killers like this guy's dead is like, yeah, I poisoned him.
• 16:26
  I was about I was just getting there.
• 16:28
  It was part of the story. You're jumping ahead.
• 16:32
  And that one guy's just really mad that he wasted half
• 16:34
  of his life listening to this story.
• 16:36
  Just like the rest of the audience.
• 16:39
  I loved it. Kill chain.
• 16:41
  Kill chain. I would put this above retirement plan.
• 16:45
  Oh, we were dead wrong. Yeah.
• 16:48
  That's a wild assessment.
• 16:50
  I know you really did hate retirement. I didn't hate it.
• 16:53
  I just didn't think anything of it.
• 16:54
  Well, I can say definitively that this movie has zero bobos.
• 16:59
  It does have zero bobos is a no go for me.
• 17:02
  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 17:07
  Yeah, the fact that it completely rolled off of my brain
• 17:09
  and I watched it two days ago, I'm like, I can't.
• 17:12
  I can't put this above retirement plan, which I still think about.
• 17:15
  So I don't.
• 17:17
  I do think about it.
• 17:18
  I like I like old Nicolas Cage a lot, though.
• 17:21
  I like seeing him just be old.
• 17:23
  Yeah, kind of his bad ass grandpa mode is cool.
• 17:27
  I mean, this definitely fits in that
• 17:29
  this should have been straight to DVD.
• 17:31
  It could be the same character.
• 17:33
  It could be. I mean, that's the thing.
• 17:35
  This fits into that like little pocket that of
• 17:38
  Nicolas Cage is just kind of a guy who might have a shady past.
• 17:42
  Your he's got a beard.
• 17:44
  He's got a beard.
• 17:45
  But I'm thinking of what's that one?
• 17:47
  Red Rock West, a mirror window or whatever.
• 17:51
  Yeah. Like it's just like Nicolas Cage.
• 17:53
  Shady past. Something happens.
• 17:56
  He leaves looking glass, looking glass.
• 17:58
  There we go. The one where he creeps. Yeah.
• 18:02
  Yeah. So let's see.
• 18:03
  Twenty nineteen is when this came out.
• 18:05
  So before that, he did between worlds into the Spider-Verse.
• 18:08
  OK, score to settle, which we haven't watched,
• 18:10
  which looks like exactly the same thing. Yeah.
• 18:13
  Color out of space, running with the devil,
• 18:15
  which I think everyone we've talked to who has a cage podcast is like that movie sucks.
• 18:20
  Yeah. And then Kill Chain and then Primal and then Grand Isle
• 18:25
  and then Jiu Jitsu like, oof.
• 18:28
  I would put this on par with Jiu Jitsu. It's a rough lead up.
• 18:32
  Yeah. So 2018, 2019 is a hard zone.
• 18:37
  I mean, between worlds was fun for its own reasons.
• 18:40
  Color out of space banger. Yeah.
• 18:42
  And Primal, obviously, we know what Nick thinks.
• 18:45
  Fucking rocks.
• 18:46
  I was just thinking about between worlds, the
• 18:51
  weird like, oh, choke me, fuck me.
• 18:54
  I need to see dead people sex.
• 18:57
  Oh, man. What a what a classic.
• 19:00
  That's such a weird movie.
• 19:01
  I'm going to watch it.
• 19:02
  It does give us the cage poems.
• 19:03
  There's a YouTuber I follow
• 19:07
  who recently I haven't watched the episode yet, but I saw it came up in my feed.
• 19:10
  It's like I found the worst Nick Cage film, so you don't have to watch it.
• 19:13
  And it was between worlds.
• 19:16
  Like I need to know.
• 19:17
  I need to know what this person thinks of this movie.
• 19:19
  Man. Yeah.
• 19:20
  Like I can't say that I would recommend anybody watch Kill Chain,
• 19:24
  but I also can't say that you shouldn't.
• 19:26
  I mean, it's it's a solid 90 minutes.
• 19:30
  Perfect. It's earned that five out of 10 flat rating.
• 19:35
  Oh, it's no, it's a very flat film, but it's not bad.
• 19:38
  It's entertaining.
• 19:39
  And it's like the first half is bad.
• 19:41
  And then the second half has Nicolas Cage.
• 19:43
  Yeah. I think that's where I got the five stars for his performance
• 19:48
  and then zero stars for everything else.
• 19:50
  Yeah. I think it's like, yeah, I mean, it just it goes as such a clip.
• 19:54
  I think that's probably why I didn't have a problem with it
• 19:55
  when it's not Nicolas Cage, because none of those characters you get
• 19:59
  invested in, they're just there to die and sometimes interesting ways.
• 20:03
  I would recommend people watch it.
• 20:05
  I don't think I could watch it a second time because it's like, oh, yeah.
• 20:08
  OK, I've seen it.
• 20:09
  Like, it doesn't matter how fast it goes, like, I know what's up.
• 20:13
  I know it's next.
• 20:14
  I might just watch the cage again.
• 20:16
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 20:17
  You could basically skip 40 minutes in.
• 20:19
  Yeah. Just be like, all right, I can watch this.
• 20:21
  I can watch 50 more minutes.
• 20:23
  Mostly of him. Yeah.
• 20:25
  Performance thoughts.
• 20:26
  I don't even know.
• 20:27
  I mean, kind of hit on it already.
• 20:28
  Cage was good.
• 20:30
  I can't not remember the guy's name from Jason Sackhouse.
• 20:34
  Now from just shoot me.
• 20:36
  Not David Spade.
• 20:38
  David Spade.
• 20:42
  Do you remember that he was in just shoot me just because somebody just shot him?
• 20:45
  Ha. He was also in Veronica Mars.
• 20:47
  Yeah. Enrico Colantoni.
• 20:50
  Yeah, he's got a wild name.
• 20:52
  Wacky his name for, you know, also a white dude.
• 20:57
  How terrible was his like attempt at hiding his accent?
• 21:02
  Like rough every time he opened his mouth, it was just like,
• 21:06
  what the fuck are you doing?
• 21:07
  Just use your normal voice.
• 21:11
  I like to talk like this.
• 21:14
  Oh, here's some hot trivia.
• 21:16
  What kind of facial hair do you think Nick Cage wanted for this?
• 21:20
  Go ahead of our mustache mustache is correct.
• 21:23
  I don't know about handlebar, but
• 21:25
  oh, it was shot in Colombia.
• 21:27
  Yeah, OK.
• 21:28
  Colombia. That tracks.
• 21:30
  Yeah. All I knew is that it was shot in a school zone
• 21:33
  because every aerial shot just said Escola's own.
• 21:37
  It's like a school zone.
• 21:39
  And they just kept circling that school zone.
• 21:42
  Pretty cool zone.
• 21:44
  School's own school zone.
• 21:47
  Yep. More Spanish from Nick.
• 21:50
  Any final thoughts on this one?
• 21:52
  Just one.
• 21:53
  Welcome to Cage, medical and around about way of meeting Nicholas Cage.
• 21:56
  I'm your host, Sean, here with my co-host Nick and our producer Peter.
• 22:00
  Hello. And you better not fucking put this at the beginning of the podcast.
• 22:04
  Like, no, I'm not good on this podcast.
• 22:06
  We take 64 Nick Cage films and break them down or review them.
• 22:10
  Bracket, bracket style until we find the cages film.
• 22:13
  Texas style that doesn't matter for this episode because this is a bonus episode.
• 22:17
  Yeah, this is not part of the bonus.
• 22:21
  I told I told Nathan yesterday we were I was watching kill change.
• 22:24
  Like, but that's that's not on the bracket.
• 22:26
  And I'm like, no, it's not.
• 22:28
  We need to kill time.
• 22:29
  Yeah, sometimes we like filler and hopefully you do, too.
• 22:33
  Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
• 22:34
  If you don't, well, you can just ignore this episode.
• 22:36
  I mean, we're going to watch these movies regardless.
• 22:38
  Yeah, we'll get there eventually through the entire catalog.
• 22:41
  We have to draw some lines, I think, of like running with the devil.
• 22:44
  Well, no, I mean, I think that that's something that we would watch.
• 22:47
  I think we have to figure out, like, if he's in it as a cameo, I don't care.
• 22:51
  Yeah. Unless unless this is really amazing.
• 22:54
  Like this should have gone in instead of Jiu Jitsu
• 22:56
  in terms of like a mount of Nick Cage and how important he probably.
• 22:59
  Yeah, I mean, I would have to look back at the,
• 23:01
  you know, exercise and insanity that I did and see if I even had this on the list.
• 23:06
  I watched so many trailers that night.
• 23:09
  You came back a different man.
• 23:11
  It's true.
• 23:11
  Came back changed.
• 23:13
  Shock of white hair.
• 23:14
  Exactly. Haunted deep set eyes.
• 23:18
  Bifurcated penis.
• 23:20
  Claspers, man.
• 23:23
  These are callbacks.
• 23:24
  I listen to our old episodes.
• 23:25
  Yeah, they're funnier.
• 23:26
  I told him to listen to an episode and he was like, OK, I guess I'll try one.
• 23:30
  And I don't think he's going to listen to it.
• 23:32
  Mm hmm.
• 23:34
  Horn quack, whatever, whatever.
• 23:36
  He won't listen. He doesn't know.
• 23:37
  Yeah, that's true.
• 23:38
  This is the doxin.
• 23:39
  This is the episode listens to.
• 23:41
  Yeah, I know.
• 23:43
  Oh, this would be a terrible first one.
• 23:46
  I don't know.
• 23:47
  I don't think saying someone's name is doxing them.
• 23:49
  No, I suppose not.
• 23:51
  I mean, if you have a very, very particular name, it is a bit, but I mean,
• 23:56
  when I give up his address, that's doxin.
• 23:58
  Yeah, that's a bit much.
• 24:00
  Where he hangs out.
• 24:01
  Tell people where his height of key is.
• 24:03
  Yeah. All right.
• 24:05
  Chain of kills.
• 24:07
  It did it. It did.
• 24:08
  Yeah, they did kill in a chain.
• 24:11
  It satisfied its movie title name.
• 24:13
  Neat. Yeah.
• 24:14
  All right. Well, thanks for listening to a bonus episode.
• 24:17
  You can find us on social media at Cage underscore match underscore pod.
• 24:21
  You can find us on Patreon if you want to support us.
• 24:24
  Special thanks to our sparkle buddies, Josh, Sean, Josie, Rico, Matt, Adam
• 24:27
  and Nathan. No, Nathan Nathan.
• 24:30
  Yes. And to our cage dancers.
• 24:33
  Oh, and Bill and Bill Bill.
• 24:35
  And to our cage dancers, Ira, John Freeman, Lance, Nathan
• 24:40
  Cameron, you have a list somewhere, dude.
• 24:42
  Yeah, man, I'm rusty right now.
• 24:44
  We haven't recorded in our usual cadence.
• 24:46
  No, we haven't.
• 24:48
  I figure I got most of those right.
• 24:50
  I think Nathan is a cage dancer, though.
• 24:52
  That seems like their vibe.
• 24:54
  Yeah. His vibe is vibe.
• 24:55
  That seems like his vibe.
• 24:57
  Yeah. All right.
• 24:58
  Don't use the cowards. I know.
• 25:00
  Pay us money. Yeah.
• 25:02
  Give me, give me, give me for good, high quality stuff.
• 25:04
  Actually, pay us money.
• 25:05
  We'll forget your name. Yeah, exactly.
• 25:07
  You can hear me. Fuck it up a bunch every time.
• 25:10
  I won't forget your name because I'll have never learned it.
• 25:14
  Never kiss him on the lips.
• 25:16
  Yeah, you got to leave him wanting. Bye bye.
• 25:30
  So did anyone else think when he was telling the story about
• 25:33
  Franco and the daughter disappearing that he had sex with his like
• 25:38
  adopted like niece?
• 25:41
  Yeah, kind of.
• 25:44
  I don't know. It was very like I was just like, wait, wait,
• 25:46
  what is that supposed to be the girl is why are they telling us the story?
• 25:48
  I don't like the story anymore.
• 25:50
  Oh, no, no.
• 25:52
  And then it made more sense like, oh, good, good.
• 25:54
  That poor girl just died.
• 25:56
  Yup.