Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 306: You Don't Need More Discipline- You Need This Instead

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E 306: You Don't Need More Discipline- You Need This Instead · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:02
  Well,
• 0:02
  hello
• 0:02
  everybody.
• 0:03
  Welcome
• 0:03
  back
• 0:03
  to
• 0:03
  another
• 0:03
  episode
• 0:04
  of
• 0:04
  Tammy's
• 0:04
  Takes
• 0:05
  where
• 0:05
  we
• 0:05
  take
• 0:05
  powerful
• 0:06
  conversations
• 0:07
  with
• 0:07
  our
• 0:07
  guests
• 0:07
  and
• 0:08
  turn
• 0:08
  them
• 0:08
  into
• 0:08
  practical
• 0:09
  strategies
• 0:09
  you
• 0:09
  can
• 0:10
  use
• 0:10
  right
• 0:10
  here,
• 0:11
  right
• 0:11
  now.
• 0:12
  So
• 0:12
  today
• 0:12
  I
• 0:12
  am
• 0:12
  talking
• 0:12
  about
• 0:13
  my
• 0:13
  conversation
• 0:13
  yesterday
• 0:14
  with
• 0:14
  Jennifer
• 0:15
  Ra,
• 0:15
  and
• 0:16
  if
• 0:16
  you
• 0:16
  didn't
• 0:16
  listen
• 0:16
  to
• 0:16
  the
• 0:16
  conversation,
• 0:17
  I
• 0:17
  highly
• 0:18
  suggest
• 0:18
  you
• 0:18
  go
• 0:18
  back
• 0:19
  in
• 0:19
  it.
• 0:19
  There
• 0:19
  are
• 0:19
  so
• 0:19
  many
• 0:20
  little
• 0:20
  tips
• 0:20
  of.
• 0:21
  Tricks
• 0:22
  and
• 0:22
  tidbits
• 0:22
  of
• 0:22
  information
• 0:23
  that
• 0:23
  you
• 0:23
  can
• 0:23
  grab
• 0:23
  from
• 0:23
  that
• 0:24
  episode.
• 0:24
  It's
• 0:25
  absolutely
• 0:25
  amazing.
• 0:26
  So
• 0:26
  Jennifer
• 0:26
  shared
• 0:27
  a
• 0:27
  journey
• 0:27
  with
• 0:27
  us
• 0:28
  about
• 0:28
  pulse
• 0:28
  of
• 0:29
  overeating,
• 0:30
  shame,
• 0:31
  and
• 0:31
  actually
• 0:31
  what
• 0:31
  it
• 0:32
  looks
• 0:32
  like
• 0:32
  to
• 0:32
  build
• 0:33
  a
• 0:33
  successful
• 0:34
  life
• 0:34
  on
• 0:35
  the
• 0:35
  outside,
• 0:35
  what
• 0:36
  people
• 0:36
  actually
• 0:36
  are
• 0:36
  looking
• 0:37
  at
• 0:37
  versus
• 0:38
  what's
• 0:38
  going
• 0:38
  on
• 0:39
  in
• 0:39
  the
• 0:39
  inside
• 0:39
  and
• 0:40
  the
• 0:40
  struggles
• 0:40
  that
• 0:40
  you
• 0:40
  are
• 0:41
  internally
• 0:41
  struggling
• 0:42
  with
• 0:42
  as
• 0:42
  you
• 0:42
  build
• 0:43
  that
• 0:43
  successful
• 0:43
  life.
• 0:44
  And
• 0:45
  one
• 0:45
  of
• 0:45
  the
• 0:45
  biggest
• 0:45
  things
• 0:46
  I
• 0:46
  see
• 0:46
  all
• 0:46
  the
• 0:46
  time.
• 0:48
  Is
• 0:49
  people's
• 0:49
  need
• 0:50
  to
• 0:50
  just
• 0:50
  do
• 0:51
  better.
• 0:51
  They
• 0:51
  think
• 0:51
  they
• 0:51
  need
• 0:52
  more
• 0:52
  discipline.
• 0:53
  It's
• 0:53
  not
• 0:53
  necessarily
• 0:54
  a
• 0:54
  discipline
• 0:54
  problem.
• 0:55
  And
• 0:55
  that's
• 0:55
  what
• 0:55
  we're
• 0:55
  gonna
• 0:55
  talk
• 0:56
  about
• 0:56
  today
• 0:56
  because
• 0:57
  you
• 0:57
  hear
• 0:57
  this,
• 0:58
  you
• 0:58
  hear
• 0:58
  people
• 0:58
  saying,
• 0:59
  I
• 0:59
  just
• 0:59
  need
• 0:59
  to
• 0:59
  be
• 0:59
  stronger.
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  just
• 1:00
  need
• 1:00
  to
• 1:00
  do
• 1:01
  more.
• 1:01
  I
• 1:01
  just
• 1:01
  need
• 1:01
  to
• 1:02
  stop
• 1:02
  my
• 1:02
  crazy
• 1:02
  thinking.
• 1:03
  I
• 1:03
  just
• 1:03
  need
• 1:04
  more
• 1:04
  control,
• 1:04
  blah,
• 1:05
  blah,
• 1:05
  blah.
• 1:07
  Today
• 1:07
  I
• 1:07
  wanna
• 1:07
  challenge
• 1:08
  that
• 1:08
  because
• 1:09
  what
• 1:09
  if
• 1:09
  discipline
• 1:09
  isn't
• 1:10
  the
• 1:10
  answer?
• 1:11
  Here's
• 1:11
  the
• 1:11
  truth.
• 1:12
  You
• 1:12
  can't
• 1:13
  out
• 1:13
  discipline
• 1:13
  an
• 1:14
  emotional
• 1:14
  need.
• 1:15
  I
• 1:16
  want
• 1:16
  you
• 1:16
  to
• 1:16
  fully
• 1:16
  hear
• 1:17
  that.
• 1:17
  I
• 1:17
  want
• 1:17
  you
• 1:17
  to
• 1:17
  listen
• 1:17
  to
• 1:17
  that.
• 1:18
  You
• 1:18
  cannot
• 1:19
  out
• 1:19
  discipline
• 1:20
  an
• 1:21
  emotional
• 1:21
  need
• 1:22
  because
• 1:23
  if
• 1:23
  you're
• 1:23
  trying
• 1:24
  to
• 1:24
  find
• 1:24
  discipline
• 1:25
  or
• 1:25
  trying
• 1:25
  to
• 1:25
  use
• 1:26
  discipline
• 1:26
  to
• 1:26
  override
• 1:27
  something
• 1:27
  deeper,
• 1:28
  you're
• 1:29
  always
• 1:29
  gonna
• 1:29
  feel
• 1:30
  like
• 1:30
  you're
• 1:30
  failing.
• 1:31
  And
• 1:31
  not
• 1:32
  because
• 1:32
  you
• 1:32
  are,
• 1:32
  but
• 1:33
  because
• 1:33
  you're
• 1:33
  actually
• 1:34
  taking
• 1:34
  the
• 1:34
  time
• 1:35
  and
• 1:35
  the
• 1:35
  energy
• 1:36
  to
• 1:36
  address
• 1:37
  or
• 1:37
  solve
• 1:37
  or
• 1:37
  try
• 1:38
  to
• 1:38
  solve
• 1:38
  the
• 1:38
  wrong
• 1:39
  problem.
• 1:40
  So
• 1:41
  what's
• 1:41
  actually
• 1:41
  happening?
• 1:43
  When
• 1:43
  you
• 1:43
  have
• 1:43
  that
• 1:44
  need,
• 1:44
  when
• 1:44
  you
• 1:44
  reach
• 1:45
  for
• 1:45
  something,
• 1:46
  when
• 1:46
  you
• 1:46
  reach
• 1:46
  for,
• 1:46
  whether
• 1:47
  it's
• 1:47
  food
• 1:47
  or
• 1:47
  it's
• 1:48
  your
• 1:48
  phone
• 1:48
  or
• 1:49
  it's
• 1:49
  overworking,
• 1:50
  or
• 1:50
  if
• 1:50
  it's
• 1:51
  checking
• 1:51
  out
• 1:52
  emotionally,
• 1:52
  whatever
• 1:53
  it
• 1:53
  is,
• 1:53
  when
• 1:53
  you
• 1:54
  need
• 1:55
  something
• 1:55
  and
• 1:55
  you
• 1:55
  reach
• 1:56
  for
• 1:56
  something,
• 1:57
  you
• 1:57
  are
• 1:57
  not
• 1:57
  doing
• 1:57
  it
• 1:58
  randomly.
• 1:58
  You're
• 1:59
  doing
• 1:59
  it
• 1:59
  because
• 1:59
  you
• 2:00
  need
• 2:00
  some
• 2:00
  kind
• 2:01
  of
• 2:01
  relief.
• 2:03
  You
• 2:03
  need
• 2:04
  something
• 2:04
  to
• 2:04
  feel
• 2:04
  better
• 2:05
  for
• 2:05
  just
• 2:05
  a
• 2:05
  moment.
• 2:06
  And
• 2:06
  that's
• 2:06
  exactly
• 2:07
  what
• 2:07
  Jennifer
• 2:08
  was
• 2:08
  talking
• 2:08
  about
• 2:08
  when
• 2:09
  she
• 2:09
  said
• 2:09
  that
• 2:09
  food
• 2:09
  became
• 2:10
  the
• 2:10
  thing
• 2:10
  that
• 2:10
  made
• 2:11
  everything
• 2:11
  feel
• 2:11
  better.
• 2:12
  Even
• 2:12
  if
• 2:12
  it
• 2:13
  was
• 2:13
  only
• 2:13
  just
• 2:14
  for
• 2:14
  a
• 2:14
  moment.
• 2:15
  So
• 2:15
  when
• 2:15
  you
• 2:15
  try
• 2:15
  to
• 2:15
  remove
• 2:16
  the
• 2:16
  behavior
• 2:17
  without
• 2:18
  addressing
• 2:18
  the
• 2:18
  need,
• 2:19
  your
• 2:19
  system
• 2:20
  is
• 2:20
  logically
• 2:21
  going
• 2:21
  to
• 2:21
  push
• 2:21
  back.
• 2:22
  So
• 2:22
  I'm
• 2:23
  going
• 2:23
  to
• 2:23
  jump
• 2:23
  back
• 2:24
  in,
• 2:24
  kind
• 2:24
  of
• 2:25
  go
• 2:25
  back
• 2:25
  and
• 2:25
  talk
• 2:25
  about
• 2:26
  why
• 2:26
  discipline
• 2:27
  is
• 2:27
  not
• 2:28
  what
• 2:28
  you
• 2:28
  need.
• 2:28
  Why
• 2:28
  that
• 2:29
  fire?
• 2:29
  discipline
• 2:30
  backfires
• 2:31
  on
• 2:31
  you.
• 2:32
  Discipline
• 2:32
  will
• 2:32
  tell
• 2:33
  you
• 2:33
  things
• 2:33
  like,
• 2:33
  stop
• 2:34
  doing
• 2:34
  this.
• 2:35
  Work
• 2:35
  harder,
• 2:36
  push
• 2:37
  more.
• 2:37
  But
• 2:38
  your
• 2:38
  body
• 2:38
  is
• 2:38
  saying
• 2:39
  something
• 2:39
  else.
• 2:39
  Your
• 2:39
  body
• 2:40
  is
• 2:40
  saying,
• 2:40
  I
• 2:40
  need
• 2:41
  something.
• 2:42
  I
• 2:42
  need
• 2:42
  something
• 2:42
  more.
• 2:43
  So
• 2:44
  now
• 2:44
  you're
• 2:44
  in
• 2:44
  this
• 2:45
  internal
• 2:45
  battle
• 2:46
  with
• 2:46
  yourself
• 2:47
  and
• 2:47
  what
• 2:47
  usually
• 2:47
  happens,
• 2:48
  let's
• 2:49
  think
• 2:49
  about
• 2:49
  that.
• 2:50
  You
• 2:50
  hold
• 2:51
  it
• 2:51
  together,
• 2:51
  you
• 2:52
  be,
• 2:52
  tough.
• 2:52
  You're
• 2:53
  strong.
• 2:53
  You
• 2:53
  hold
• 2:53
  in
• 2:54
  there
• 2:54
  because
• 2:54
  that's
• 2:54
  what
• 2:54
  you've
• 2:54
  been
• 2:55
  trained
• 2:55
  to
• 2:55
  do
• 2:56
  for
• 2:56
  a
• 2:56
  little
• 2:56
  while
• 2:57
  until
• 2:57
  you
• 2:58
  can't
• 2:58
  do
• 2:58
  it
• 2:58
  anymore,
• 2:58
  because
• 2:59
  eventually
• 2:59
  you're
• 2:59
  gonna
• 2:59
  break.
• 3:00
  Then
• 3:00
  what
• 3:01
  happens?
• 3:01
  The
• 3:01
  behavior
• 3:02
  comes
• 3:02
  back
• 3:02
  and
• 3:03
  it
• 3:03
  comes
• 3:03
  back
• 3:03
  even
• 3:04
  stronger
• 3:04
  because
• 3:05
  now
• 3:05
  your,
• 3:06
  emotional
• 3:06
  need
• 3:07
  is
• 3:07
  now
• 3:07
  coupled
• 3:08
  with
• 3:08
  guilt
• 3:08
  and
• 3:08
  shame.
• 3:10
  So
• 3:10
  you
• 3:10
  blame
• 3:10
  yourself.
• 3:11
  This
• 3:12
  is
• 3:12
  why.
• 3:12
  And
• 3:12
  you
• 3:12
  say
• 3:12
  things
• 3:13
  like,
• 3:13
  this
• 3:13
  is
• 3:13
  why
• 3:13
  I
• 3:13
  can't
• 3:14
  change
• 3:14
  and
• 3:14
  this
• 3:14
  is
• 3:15
  why
• 3:15
  I
• 3:15
  always
• 3:15
  fail.
• 3:17
  And
• 3:17
  you
• 3:17
  say
• 3:18
  those
• 3:18
  comments
• 3:18
  to
• 3:18
  yourself.
• 3:19
  And
• 3:19
  the
• 3:19
  truth
• 3:20
  is,
• 3:20
  you
• 3:20
  were
• 3:20
  never
• 3:21
  taught
• 3:22
  how
• 3:22
  to
• 3:22
  really
• 3:22
  meet
• 3:23
  the
• 3:23
  needs
• 3:23
  underneath
• 3:24
  the
• 3:24
  behavior.
• 3:25
  That
• 3:26
  is
• 3:26
  why
• 3:26
  just
• 3:26
  disciplining
• 3:27
  yourself
• 3:27
  to
• 3:27
  stop
• 3:28
  the
• 3:28
  behavior
• 3:29
  is
• 3:29
  not
• 3:29
  enough.
• 3:31
  So
• 3:31
  here's
• 3:32
  the
• 3:32
  little
• 3:32
  tool
• 3:33
  or
• 3:33
  trick
• 3:33
  that
• 3:33
  I
• 3:33
  wanna
• 3:33
  give
• 3:34
  you
• 3:34
  today,
• 3:34
  and
• 3:34
  this
• 3:34
  is
• 3:34
  what
• 3:34
  I
• 3:35
  want
• 3:35
  you
• 3:35
  to
• 3:35
  try
• 3:35
  doing
• 3:36
  instead.
• 3:38
  So
• 3:38
  the
• 3:38
  next
• 3:38
  time
• 3:38
  you
• 3:39
  catch
• 3:39
  yourself
• 3:39
  in
• 3:39
  this
• 3:40
  pattern,
• 3:41
  I
• 3:41
  don't
• 3:41
  want
• 3:41
  you
• 3:42
  to
• 3:42
  jump
• 3:43
  back
• 3:43
  in
• 3:43
  and
• 3:43
  try
• 3:43
  to
• 3:44
  discipline
• 3:44
  yourself.
• 3:45
  I
• 3:45
  want
• 3:45
  you
• 3:45
  to
• 3:45
  walk
• 3:45
  through
• 3:46
  it
• 3:46
  like
• 3:46
  this,
• 3:47
  and
• 3:47
  there's
• 3:47
  a
• 3:47
  couple
• 3:48
  steps
• 3:48
  to
• 3:48
  it.
• 3:48
  Step
• 3:49
  number
• 3:49
  one,
• 3:50
  you
• 3:50
  have
• 3:50
  to
• 3:50
  identify
• 3:50
  the
• 3:50
  pattern.
• 3:51
  So
• 3:51
  what
• 3:51
  am
• 3:51
  I
• 3:51
  doing
• 3:52
  right
• 3:52
  now?
• 3:52
  And
• 3:52
  be
• 3:52
  honest
• 3:53
  with
• 3:53
  yourself.
• 3:54
  If
• 3:54
  you're
• 3:55
  about
• 3:55
  to
• 3:55
  grab
• 3:55
  a
• 3:55
  beer,
• 3:56
  if
• 3:56
  you're
• 3:57
  about
• 3:57
  to
• 3:57
  grab
• 3:57
  a
• 3:57
  bag
• 3:57
  of
• 3:57
  cookies,
• 3:59
  if
• 3:59
  you're
• 3:59
  about
• 3:59
  to
• 3:59
  avoid
• 4:00
  doing
• 4:00
  something,
• 4:00
  if
• 4:01
  you're
• 4:01
  doom
• 4:01
  scrolling,
• 4:02
  if
• 4:02
  you're
• 4:02
  shutting
• 4:03
  down,
• 4:03
  identify
• 4:04
  and
• 4:04
  be
• 4:05
  honest
• 4:05
  with
• 4:05
  yourself
• 4:06
  about
• 4:06
  those
• 4:06
  things.
• 4:07
  No
• 4:07
  judgment,
• 4:07
  just
• 4:08
  awareness.
• 4:08
  Just
• 4:08
  notice
• 4:09
  what
• 4:09
  you're
• 4:09
  doing.
• 4:10
  step
• 4:10
  two,
• 4:11
  ask
• 4:11
  yourself,
• 4:12
  what
• 4:13
  do
• 4:13
  you
• 4:13
  need?
• 4:14
  What
• 4:14
  do
• 4:14
  I
• 4:14
  actually
• 4:15
  need
• 4:15
  right
• 4:16
  now?
• 4:16
  Not
• 4:17
  what
• 4:17
  you
• 4:17
  should
• 4:17
  you
• 4:18
  do,
• 4:18
  but
• 4:19
  what
• 4:19
  do
• 4:19
  you
• 4:19
  actually
• 4:20
  need?
• 4:20
  And
• 4:21
  feel
• 4:21
  it
• 4:21
  because,
• 4:21
  and
• 4:22
  ask
• 4:22
  yourself
• 4:22
  what
• 4:23
  you
• 4:23
  need.
• 4:23
  Because
• 4:23
  guys,
• 4:24
  if
• 4:24
  you
• 4:24
  start
• 4:24
  leaning
• 4:25
  in
• 4:25
  and
• 4:25
  start
• 4:26
  talking
• 4:26
  to
• 4:26
  yourself
• 4:27
  and
• 4:27
  start
• 4:27
  asking
• 4:27
  yourself
• 4:28
  these
• 4:28
  questions,
• 4:29
  you're
• 4:29
  going
• 4:29
  to
• 4:30
  get
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  answers.
• 4:31
  So
• 4:31
  it
• 4:31
  might
• 4:32
  not
• 4:32
  mean
• 4:32
  a
• 4:32
  cookie,
• 4:33
  it
• 4:33
  might
• 4:33
  not
• 4:33
  a
• 4:33
  beer,
• 4:34
  it
• 4:34
  might
• 4:34
  not
• 4:35
  Going
• 4:35
  down
• 4:35
  to
• 4:35
  the
• 4:35
  casino.
• 4:36
  Maybe
• 4:37
  it
• 4:37
  just
• 4:37
  needs
• 4:37
  a
• 4:37
  little
• 4:38
  relief
• 4:38
  from
• 4:38
  something,
• 4:39
  or
• 4:39
  maybe
• 4:40
  it
• 4:40
  just
• 4:40
  needs
• 4:40
  something
• 4:40
  comforting.
• 4:41
  Or
• 4:42
  maybe
• 4:42
  you
• 4:42
  need
• 4:42
  rest
• 4:43
  or
• 4:43
  maybe
• 4:43
  you
• 4:43
  need
• 4:44
  safety,
• 4:44
  or
• 4:45
  maybe
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  need
• 4:46
  someone
• 4:46
  to
• 4:46
  tell
• 4:46
  you
• 4:47
  that
• 4:47
  it's
• 4:47
  okay.
• 4:48
  Those
• 4:48
  are
• 4:48
  the
• 4:48
  things
• 4:49
  you
• 4:49
  might
• 4:49
  actually
• 4:50
  need.
• 4:51
  Now
• 4:52
  the
• 4:52
  next
• 4:52
  step,
• 4:53
  now
• 4:53
  that
• 4:53
  you've
• 4:54
  identified
• 4:55
  what
• 4:55
  you're
• 4:55
  about
• 4:55
  to
• 4:55
  do
• 4:56
  and
• 4:56
  you've
• 4:56
  identified
• 4:57
  what
• 4:58
  what
• 4:58
  you
• 4:58
  actually
• 4:59
  think
• 4:59
  you
• 4:59
  might
• 4:59
  need.
• 5:01
  Ask
• 5:01
  yourself
• 5:02
  this
• 5:02
  question,
• 5:03
  what
• 5:03
  would
• 5:04
  support
• 5:04
  that
• 5:04
  need
• 5:05
  without
• 5:06
  hurting
• 5:06
  me
• 5:07
  later
• 5:08
  and
• 5:09
  the
• 5:09
  without
• 5:09
  hurting
• 5:10
  me
• 5:10
  later
• 5:10
  is
• 5:11
  a
• 5:11
  big
• 5:11
  part
• 5:12
  of
• 5:12
  the
• 5:12
  puzzle.
• 5:12
  So.
• 5:14
  The
• 5:14
  consequences.
• 5:15
  And
• 5:15
  there's
• 5:16
  consequences
• 5:16
  to
• 5:17
  all
• 5:17
  of
• 5:17
  our
• 5:17
  actions.
• 5:17
  And
• 5:18
  we've
• 5:18
  learned
• 5:18
  about
• 5:18
  this
• 5:19
  and
• 5:19
  we've
• 5:19
  learned
• 5:19
  this
• 5:19
  through
• 5:19
  our
• 5:20
  whole
• 5:20
  lives,
• 5:20
  that
• 5:21
  what
• 5:21
  we
• 5:21
  do
• 5:21
  has
• 5:21
  consequences.
• 5:22
  But
• 5:23
  these,
• 5:23
  my
• 5:23
  friends,
• 5:24
  are
• 5:24
  consequences
• 5:24
  that
• 5:25
  are
• 5:25
  there
• 5:25
  to
• 5:25
  benefit
• 5:26
  you,
• 5:26
  that
• 5:26
  they're
• 5:27
  there
• 5:27
  to
• 5:27
  help
• 5:27
  you
• 5:28
  out.
• 5:28
  So
• 5:29
  ask
• 5:29
  yourself
• 5:30
  again,
• 5:30
  I'm
• 5:30
  gonna
• 5:30
  repeat
• 5:31
  this
• 5:31
  question.
• 5:32
  What
• 5:32
  would
• 5:32
  support
• 5:33
  that
• 5:33
  need?
• 5:34
  Whether
• 5:35
  it's
• 5:35
  comfort,
• 5:35
  connection,
• 5:36
  safety,
• 5:36
  rest,
• 5:37
  whatever
• 5:37
  it
• 5:37
  is,
• 5:38
  without
• 5:38
  hurting
• 5:39
  me
• 5:39
  later.
• 5:40
  So
• 5:41
  is
• 5:41
  eating
• 5:42
  a
• 5:42
  sleeve
• 5:42
  of
• 5:42
  Oreos,
• 5:43
  which
• 5:43
  seemed
• 5:43
  to
• 5:44
  be
• 5:44
  my
• 5:44
  or
• 5:44
  chips,
• 5:44
  a
• 5:44
  hos,
• 5:45
  was
• 5:45
  my
• 5:45
  go-to.
• 5:46
  Would
• 5:46
  eating
• 5:47
  a
• 5:47
  sleeve
• 5:48
  of
• 5:48
  chips,
• 5:48
  a
• 5:48
  hoy
• 5:49
  help
• 5:49
  me
• 5:50
  or
• 5:50
  hurt
• 5:50
  me
• 5:50
  later,
• 5:51
  probably
• 5:51
  not
• 5:51
  be
• 5:52
  the
• 5:52
  best
• 5:52
  thing
• 5:52
  for
• 5:52
  me.
• 5:53
  Would
• 5:53
  drinking
• 5:54
  a
• 5:54
  six
• 5:54
  pack
• 5:54
  of
• 5:54
  beer
• 5:55
  help
• 5:55
  me
• 5:55
  or
• 5:55
  hurt
• 5:55
  me
• 5:55
  later?
• 5:56
  Probably
• 5:57
  not
• 5:57
  gonna
• 5:57
  be
• 5:57
  the
• 5:57
  best
• 5:58
  thing
• 5:58
  for
• 5:58
  me
• 5:58
  later.
• 5:59
  So
• 6:00
  let's
• 6:00
  start
• 6:00
  to.
• 6:01
  Think
• 6:01
  about
• 6:02
  the
• 6:02
  things
• 6:02
  that
• 6:02
  you,
• 6:03
  might
• 6:03
  need
• 6:04
  that
• 6:04
  would
• 6:04
  support
• 6:04
  those
• 6:05
  needs
• 6:05
  that
• 6:05
  aren't
• 6:06
  going
• 6:06
  to
• 6:06
  hurt
• 6:06
  you.
• 6:07
  So
• 6:07
  maybe
• 6:07
  it's
• 6:07
  just
• 6:08
  getting
• 6:08
  up
• 6:08
  and
• 6:08
  drinking
• 6:08
  a
• 6:09
  glass
• 6:09
  of
• 6:09
  water.
• 6:09
  Maybe
• 6:10
  it's
• 6:11
  just
• 6:11
  taking
• 6:11
  a
• 6:11
  break
• 6:12
  and
• 6:12
  getting
• 6:12
  out
• 6:12
  of
• 6:12
  the
• 6:13
  situation
• 6:13
  you're
• 6:13
  in.
• 6:14
  Maybe
• 6:14
  it's
• 6:14
  going
• 6:15
  outside
• 6:15
  for
• 6:15
  a
• 6:15
  walk.
• 6:16
  Maybe
• 6:17
  it's
• 6:17
  just
• 6:18
  pausing
• 6:20
  and
• 6:20
  sitting
• 6:20
  with
• 6:20
  the
• 6:21
  feeling
• 6:21
  for
• 6:21
  a
• 6:21
  minute,
• 6:22
  and
• 6:22
  maybe
• 6:23
  it's
• 6:23
  journaling.
• 6:23
  there
• 6:23
  are
• 6:24
  many
• 6:24
  different
• 6:24
  things
• 6:25
  that
• 6:25
  are
• 6:25
  not
• 6:25
  going
• 6:26
  to
• 6:26
  hurt
• 6:26
  you
• 6:26
  later
• 6:26
  that
• 6:27
  you
• 6:27
  can
• 6:27
  do
• 6:27
  in
• 6:28
  the
• 6:28
  moment.
• 6:29
  When
• 6:29
  you
• 6:29
  have
• 6:29
  that
• 6:30
  need
• 6:30
  to
• 6:30
  grab
• 6:31
  that
• 6:31
  thing,
• 6:32
  and
• 6:32
  that
• 6:32
  thing
• 6:33
  could
• 6:33
  be
• 6:34
  anything,
• 6:34
  in
• 6:34
  Jennifer's
• 6:35
  situation,
• 6:36
  that
• 6:36
  thing
• 6:36
  was
• 6:37
  food,
• 6:37
  but
• 6:37
  it
• 6:37
  could
• 6:38
  be
• 6:38
  doom
• 6:38
  scrolling.
• 6:39
  It
• 6:39
  could
• 6:39
  be
• 6:39
  beer,
• 6:40
  it
• 6:40
  could
• 6:40
  be
• 6:40
  drugs.
• 6:41
  It
• 6:41
  could
• 6:41
  be
• 6:42
  a
• 6:42
  number
• 6:42
  of
• 6:43
  different
• 6:43
  things.
• 6:43
  So
• 6:44
  when
• 6:44
  you
• 6:44
  go
• 6:45
  to
• 6:45
  grab
• 6:45
  that
• 6:45
  thing,
• 6:46
  ask
• 6:46
  yourself,
• 6:47
  what
• 6:47
  do
• 6:47
  I
• 6:47
  need?
• 6:48
  And
• 6:48
  what
• 6:49
  might
• 6:49
  be
• 6:50
  something
• 6:50
  I
• 6:50
  could
• 6:50
  do
• 6:51
  that
• 6:51
  would
• 6:51
  fill
• 6:52
  that
• 6:52
  need
• 6:53
  that
• 6:53
  won't
• 6:53
  hurt
• 6:53
  me
• 6:54
  later?
• 6:54
  And
• 6:54
  this
• 6:55
  does
• 6:55
  not
• 6:55
  have
• 6:55
  to
• 6:55
  be
• 6:55
  perfect,
• 6:56
  my
• 6:56
  friends.
• 6:57
  It
• 6:57
  just
• 6:57
  has
• 6:57
  to
• 6:57
  be
• 6:58
  more
• 6:58
  supportive
• 6:59
  than
• 6:59
  the
• 6:59
  pattern.
• 7:00
  It
• 7:00
  has
• 7:01
  to
• 7:01
  be
• 7:01
  more
• 7:01
  supportive
• 7:02
  than
• 7:03
  what
• 7:03
  you
• 7:03
  have
• 7:04
  been
• 7:04
  doing
• 7:04
  that
• 7:04
  you
• 7:05
  are
• 7:05
  trying
• 7:05
  to
• 7:05
  get
• 7:05
  yourself
• 7:06
  outta,
• 7:08
  because
• 7:08
  why
• 7:08
  the,
• 7:09
  and
• 7:09
  you're
• 7:09
  probably
• 7:09
  asking
• 7:10
  yourself,
• 7:10
  Tammy,
• 7:10
  why
• 7:10
  does
• 7:10
  this
• 7:11
  work?
• 7:11
  does
• 7:11
  this
• 7:11
  actually
• 7:12
  do
• 7:12
  for
• 7:12
  me?
• 7:13
  What
• 7:13
  it
• 7:13
  does
• 7:14
  is
• 7:14
  it
• 7:14
  makes
• 7:14
  it
• 7:15
  so
• 7:15
  that
• 7:15
  you
• 7:15
  are
• 7:15
  in
• 7:15
  a
• 7:15
  situation
• 7:16
  where
• 7:16
  you're
• 7:17
  not
• 7:17
  fighting
• 7:17
  with
• 7:17
  yourself.
• 7:19
  You're
• 7:19
  not,
• 7:19
  you
• 7:19
  are
• 7:19
  actually
• 7:20
  working
• 7:20
  with
• 7:20
  yourself.
• 7:21
  So
• 7:21
  instead
• 7:21
  of
• 7:21
  saying
• 7:22
  to
• 7:22
  yourself
• 7:22
  You
• 7:23
  suck
• 7:23
  at
• 7:23
  this
• 7:24
  and
• 7:24
  you
• 7:24
  always
• 7:24
  get
• 7:25
  this
• 7:25
  wrong.
• 7:25
  You're
• 7:26
  saying,
• 7:26
  Hey,
• 7:26
  let's
• 7:27
  work
• 7:27
  together.
• 7:27
  Let's
• 7:28
  figure
• 7:28
  this
• 7:28
  out.
• 7:28
  How
• 7:29
  can
• 7:29
  I
• 7:30
  satisfy
• 7:30
  this
• 7:31
  need
• 7:32
  without
• 7:32
  doing
• 7:32
  something
• 7:33
  that's
• 7:33
  gonna
• 7:33
  harm
• 7:33
  me
• 7:33
  later?
• 7:34
  So
• 7:34
  you
• 7:35
  are
• 7:35
  not,
• 7:36
  basically,
• 7:36
  you're
• 7:36
  not
• 7:37
  removing
• 7:38
  the,
• 7:38
  the,
• 7:39
  thing
• 7:39
  that
• 7:39
  used
• 7:39
  to
• 7:39
  give
• 7:39
  you
• 7:40
  comfort
• 7:40
  and
• 7:40
  leaving
• 7:41
  a
• 7:41
  void.
• 7:42
  You're
• 7:42
  replacing
• 7:43
  it
• 7:43
  with
• 7:43
  something
• 7:44
  supportive.
• 7:44
  That's
• 7:45
  how
• 7:45
  patterns
• 7:45
  honestly
• 7:46
  actually
• 7:46
  change,
• 7:47
  because
• 7:47
  if
• 7:48
  you
• 7:48
  take
• 7:48
  something
• 7:49
  away,
• 7:50
  you
• 7:50
  still
• 7:51
  have
• 7:51
  that
• 7:51
  need.
• 7:52
  If
• 7:52
  you
• 7:52
  don't
• 7:53
  grab
• 7:53
  for
• 7:53
  that
• 7:53
  cookie
• 7:54
  or
• 7:54
  you
• 7:54
  don't
• 7:54
  grab
• 7:55
  for
• 7:55
  that
• 7:55
  piece
• 7:55
  of
• 7:55
  pizza,
• 7:57
  you
• 7:57
  still
• 7:57
  have
• 7:58
  whatever
• 7:58
  it
• 7:58
  was
• 7:59
  that
• 7:59
  made
• 7:59
  you
• 7:59
  wanna
• 7:59
  reach
• 8:00
  for
• 8:00
  that
• 8:00
  in
• 8:00
  the
• 8:00
  first
• 8:00
  place.
• 8:01
  So
• 8:01
  support
• 8:02
  that
• 8:02
  and
• 8:03
  give
• 8:03
  it
• 8:03
  something
• 8:03
  and
• 8:04
  replace
• 8:04
  it
• 8:04
  with
• 8:04
  something
• 8:05
  that's
• 8:05
  positive.
• 8:06
  So
• 8:06
  this
• 8:07
  is
• 8:07
  why
• 8:07
  I
• 8:07
  really
• 8:07
  like
• 8:08
  this
• 8:08
  conversation
• 8:09
  with
• 8:09
  Jennifer.
• 8:09
  It
• 8:09
  was
• 8:09
  so
• 8:10
  powerful.
• 8:11
  What
• 8:11
  she
• 8:11
  showed
• 8:11
  is
• 8:12
  that
• 8:12
  the
• 8:12
  behaviors
• 8:13
  aren't
• 8:13
  about
• 8:13
  weakness.
• 8:14
  They're
• 8:15
  not
• 8:15
  about.
• 8:16
  More
• 8:17
  discipline
• 8:17
  or
• 8:17
  not
• 8:17
  being
• 8:18
  strong
• 8:18
  enough,
• 8:18
  or
• 8:18
  not
• 8:19
  having
• 8:19
  the
• 8:19
  willpower,
• 8:20
  they're
• 8:20
  actually
• 8:20
  about
• 8:21
  coping.
• 8:22
  They're
• 8:22
  about
• 8:22
  actually
• 8:23
  about
• 8:24
  the
• 8:24
  human
• 8:24
  nature
• 8:25
  of
• 8:26
  trying
• 8:26
  to
• 8:26
  feel
• 8:27
  better
• 8:27
  in
• 8:28
  a
• 8:28
  moment
• 8:28
  that
• 8:28
  feels
• 8:29
  overwhelming,
• 8:30
  and
• 8:30
  until
• 8:31
  you
• 8:31
  understand
• 8:31
  that
• 8:32
  you're
• 8:32
  gonna
• 8:33
  keep
• 8:33
  trying
• 8:33
  to
• 8:34
  fix
• 8:34
  yourself
• 8:35
  with
• 8:35
  discipline
• 8:36
  instead
• 8:37
  of
• 8:37
  supporting
• 8:37
  yourself
• 8:38
  with
• 8:38
  awareness.
• 8:39
  So.
• 8:40
  sounds
• 8:40
  like
• 8:40
  a
• 8:40
  foreign
• 8:41
  concept
• 8:41
  and
• 8:41
  all
• 8:42
  of
• 8:42
  these
• 8:42
  concepts
• 8:42
  I'm
• 8:42
  introducing
• 8:43
  if
• 8:43
  you've
• 8:44
  never
• 8:44
  been
• 8:44
  on
• 8:44
  the
• 8:44
  show
• 8:45
  or
• 8:45
  if
• 8:45
  you're
• 8:45
  new
• 8:45
  to
• 8:45
  the
• 8:45
  show,
• 8:46
  or
• 8:46
  even
• 8:47
  if
• 8:47
  you've
• 8:47
  heard
• 8:47
  some
• 8:47
  but
• 8:48
  you
• 8:48
  haven't
• 8:48
  quite
• 8:48
  heard
• 8:48
  'em
• 8:48
  all,
• 8:49
  whatever,
• 8:50
  these
• 8:50
  are
• 8:50
  all
• 8:50
  concepts
• 8:51
  that
• 8:52
  they
• 8:52
  seem
• 8:52
  a
• 8:52
  little
• 8:52
  foreign
• 8:53
  at
• 8:53
  first,
• 8:54
  but
• 8:54
  with
• 8:54
  a
• 8:54
  little
• 8:54
  practice
• 8:55
  and
• 8:55
  a
• 8:55
  little
• 8:55
  persistence
• 8:56
  and,
• 8:56
  and
• 8:57
  using
• 8:57
  these
• 8:57
  tools,
• 8:59
  wow.
• 8:59
  You
• 8:59
  can
• 8:59
  shift
• 9:00
  things
• 9:00
  and
• 9:00
  you
• 9:00
  can
• 9:00
  shift
• 9:01
  things
• 9:01
  so
• 9:02
  quickly,
• 9:02
  and
• 9:02
  that's
• 9:03
  really
• 9:03
  what
• 9:03
  I
• 9:03
  help
• 9:03
  my
• 9:04
  people
• 9:04
  do
• 9:04
  every
• 9:05
  single
• 9:05
  day.
• 9:05
  That's
• 9:05
  what
• 9:05
  I
• 9:06
  help
• 9:06
  'em
• 9:06
  do.
• 9:07
  So
• 9:07
  I
• 9:07
  act,
• 9:08
  I
• 9:08
  help
• 9:08
  them
• 9:08
  identify
• 9:09
  the
• 9:09
  patterns,
• 9:10
  understand
• 9:10
  the
• 9:11
  needs,
• 9:11
  and
• 9:11
  actually
• 9:12
  build
• 9:12
  new
• 9:12
  ways
• 9:14
  of
• 9:14
  responding
• 9:15
  that
• 9:15
  feel
• 9:15
  aligned.
• 9:16
  Because
• 9:16
  that's
• 9:16
  what
• 9:16
  we
• 9:16
  wanna
• 9:17
  do.
• 9:17
  We
• 9:17
  wanna
• 9:17
  feel
• 9:18
  aligned
• 9:18
  with
• 9:18
  what
• 9:19
  makes
• 9:19
  us
• 9:19
  happy
• 9:19
  and
• 9:20
  what
• 9:20
  satisfies
• 9:21
  our
• 9:21
  needs
• 9:22
  without
• 9:23
  the
• 9:23
  destructive
• 9:23
  patterns.
• 9:24
  So
• 9:24
  if
• 9:24
  you're
• 9:25
  saying
• 9:25
  to
• 9:25
  yourself,
• 9:25
  okay,
• 9:26
  this
• 9:26
  is
• 9:26
  so
• 9:27
  me,
• 9:27
  so,
• 9:28
  so
• 9:28
  me.
• 9:29
  How
• 9:29
  do
• 9:29
  I
• 9:29
  get
• 9:29
  more
• 9:29
  help?
• 9:30
  How
• 9:30
  do
• 9:30
  I
• 9:30
  learn
• 9:30
  more
• 9:31
  about
• 9:31
  this?
• 9:31
  Very
• 9:32
  simple.
• 9:32
  Go
• 9:32
  into
• 9:33
  the
• 9:33
  show
• 9:33
  notes,
• 9:33
  book
• 9:33
  a
• 9:34
  confidence
• 9:34
  and
• 9:34
  comm
• 9:34
  call.
• 9:35
  We'll
• 9:35
  talk
• 9:35
  about
• 9:36
  it.
• 9:36
  We'll
• 9:36
  chat
• 9:36
  you,
• 9:37
  we'll
• 9:37
  do,
• 9:37
  we
• 9:37
  can
• 9:38
  do
• 9:38
  an
• 9:38
  inner
• 9:38
  voice
• 9:38
  scan
• 9:39
  that
• 9:39
  will
• 9:39
  identify
• 9:39
  patterns.
• 9:40
  There's
• 9:40
  a
• 9:40
  million
• 9:41
  different
• 9:41
  ways
• 9:41
  I
• 9:41
  can
• 9:42
  help
• 9:42
  you
• 9:42
  out,
• 9:43
  but
• 9:43
  just
• 9:43
  know
• 9:43
  that
• 9:44
  I'm
• 9:44
  on
• 9:44
  your
• 9:44
  side
• 9:45
  and
• 9:45
  that's
• 9:46
  what
• 9:46
  I'm
• 9:46
  here
• 9:46
  to
• 9:46
  do.
• 9:46
  I'm
• 9:47
  here
• 9:47
  to
• 9:47
  help
• 9:47
  you.
• 9:47
  I'm
• 9:47
  here
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  open
• 9:48
  up
• 9:48
  that
• 9:48
  awareness.
• 9:49
  To
• 9:50
  the
• 9:50
  different
• 9:50
  patterns
• 9:51
  that
• 9:51
  we
• 9:51
  have
• 9:51
  and
• 9:52
  help
• 9:52
  you
• 9:52
  shift
• 9:52
  them
• 9:53
  so
• 9:53
  that
• 9:53
  you
• 9:53
  can
• 9:53
  walk
• 9:53
  for
• 9:54
  forward
• 9:54
  into
• 9:55
  the
• 9:55
  day
• 9:55
  with
• 9:55
  more
• 9:56
  calmness
• 9:56
  and
• 9:56
  clarity
• 9:57
  and
• 9:57
  confidence,
• 9:58
  and
• 9:58
  really
• 9:59
  be
• 9:59
  able
• 9:59
  to
• 9:59
  step
• 9:59
  out
• 10:00
  without
• 10:01
  the
• 10:01
  feeling
• 10:02
  of
• 10:02
  guilt
• 10:03
  and
• 10:03
  shame,
• 10:03
  without
• 10:04
  the
• 10:04
  heaviness,
• 10:04
  without
• 10:05
  the
• 10:05
  ick
• 10:06
  that
• 10:06
  is
• 10:06
  sometimes
• 10:07
  holding
• 10:07
  us
• 10:07
  back.
• 10:07
  Because
• 10:08
  remember
• 10:08
  this
• 10:08
  guys,
• 10:09
  especially
• 10:10
  in
• 10:10
  this
• 10:11
  day
• 10:11
  and
• 10:11
  age,
• 10:11
  you
• 10:11
  don't
• 10:12
  need
• 10:12
  more
• 10:12
  discipline.
• 10:13
  You
• 10:13
  need
• 10:14
  more
• 10:14
  support.
• 10:15
  You
• 10:16
  need
• 10:16
  more
• 10:16
  support,
• 10:17
  and
• 10:18
  if
• 10:18
  you
• 10:18
  can't
• 10:18
  give
• 10:19
  it
• 10:19
  to
• 10:19
  yourself.
• 10:19
  Find
• 10:20
  someone
• 10:20
  that
• 10:20
  can,
• 10:21
  and
• 10:21
  I
• 10:21
  would
• 10:21
  love
• 10:21
  to
• 10:21
  be
• 10:22
  that
• 10:22
  person
• 10:22
  with
• 10:22
  you.
• 10:23
  But
• 10:23
  for
• 10:23
  right
• 10:23
  now,
• 10:24
  try
• 10:24
  that.
• 10:24
  Try
• 10:25
  that
• 10:25
  exercise.
• 10:26
  The
• 10:26
  next
• 10:26
  time
• 10:26
  you
• 10:26
  go
• 10:26
  to
• 10:26
  reach
• 10:27
  for
• 10:27
  something
• 10:27
  that
• 10:27
  you
• 10:28
  know
• 10:28
  is
• 10:29
  a
• 10:29
  bad
• 10:29
  habit,
• 10:30
  don't
• 10:30
  beat
• 10:31
  yourself
• 10:31
  up
• 10:31
  about
• 10:31
  it.
• 10:32
  Don't
• 10:33
  force
• 10:33
  yourself
• 10:34
  into
• 10:35
  do
• 10:35
  just
• 10:36
  cutting
• 10:36
  it
• 10:36
  off
• 10:36
  completely.
• 10:38
  Ask
• 10:38
  yourself
• 10:39
  why
• 10:40
  you
• 10:40
  have
• 10:40
  this
• 10:40
  need,
• 10:41
  what
• 10:41
  it's
• 10:41
  bringing
• 10:42
  up
• 10:42
  inside
• 10:42
  of
• 10:42
  you.
• 10:43
  What
• 10:44
  might
• 10:44
  make
• 10:44
  that
• 10:44
  need
• 10:45
  be
• 10:45
  filled
• 10:47
  with
• 10:47
  something
• 10:47
  that
• 10:47
  you
• 10:47
  can
• 10:48
  do
• 10:48
  that
• 10:48
  is
• 10:48
  not
• 10:48
  going
• 10:49
  to
• 10:49
  harm
• 10:49
  you
• 10:49
  in
• 10:49
  the
• 10:50
  end.
• 10:50
  So
• 10:51
  I
• 10:51
  would
• 10:51
  love
• 10:51
  to
• 10:51
  hear
• 10:51
  from
• 10:52
  you.
• 10:52
  Let
• 10:52
  me
• 10:52
  know
• 10:52
  what
• 10:53
  you
• 10:53
  tried,
• 10:53
  let
• 10:53
  me
• 10:53
  know
• 10:53
  what
• 10:54
  worked.
• 10:54
  And
• 10:55
  until
• 10:55
  then,
• 10:55
  I
• 10:55
  will
• 10:56
  talk
• 10:56
  to
• 10:56
  you
• 10:56
  guys
• 10:56
  soon.
• 10:57
  I
• 10:57
  love
• 10:57
  you
• 10:57
  all
• 10:58
  and
• 10:58
  I
• 10:58
  hope
• 10:58
  you
• 10:58
  have
• 10:59
  a
• 10:59
  most
• 10:59
  blessed
• 10:59
  and
• 10:59
  wonderful
• 11:00
  day.
• 11:01
  Bye.