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145. The Power Of Having a Coach · The Shift Podcast

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Hey, you guys, welcome to episode 145 of Frontline Static,
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The power of having a coach. Today I'm going to get real
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vulnerable with you guys. I'm going to talk to you about
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my journey of what it's been like since I found life coaching
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and what each coach has kind of helped me with.
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And I'm going to tell you like I've had a few different ones
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over the last five years now since I found life coaching.
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And I'm going to talk about what I learned from each of those and
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just the power of having a coach and a life coach in your corner.
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So if those of you guys who have just started following me, you
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may have not heard this before, but I found life coaching tools
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about five years ago. I was faced with having my three
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older kids were all teenagers at the time.
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So if you don't know this about me, I have a 2020 year old and
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then I have twins that are 18 and then I also have a 12 year
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old. But my twins were actually born
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on my 20 year old's birthday. And so having them all two years
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apart, 3 under the age of 2 when I had originally started nursing
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school was a challenge. And when they all turned to
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teenagers when they were 13 and then my oldest was 15, it became
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even more of a challenge. And I've always been the mom who
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really, really loved working, like I told my husband before we
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got married, like having a profession and having a job is
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something that I'm always going to want to do.
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And I do want to have kids, but I want to be able to have both.
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And I want to be able to be a mother and really love the work
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that I'm doing. And so naturally, when I became
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a nurse, an unexpected thing happened and I was pregnant with
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my 4th. And I remember it was the first
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day that I started my very first job as a nurse in the ICUI,
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found out I was pregnant with my 4th unexpectedly.
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And you know, there's challenges with having teenagers, but I was
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finding it really hard as as they were getting more involved
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with things, as they were finding out and figuring out who
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they were as not everything was easy in parenting as when they
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were little, where I felt like there was pushback against what
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I was wanting them to do, what I was not wanting them to do.
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They were trying to find their identity.
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And so Long story short, it was becoming hard for me to have a
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career that I loved and then also learn how to parent
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teenagers at the same time who were trying to create a little
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bit of independence. And for those of you guys who
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have teenagers, I know that you can relate.
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And it was also during this time, I think I had been in
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flight for maybe about two or three years.
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I had a really challenging moment where I had experienced
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four or five deaths, I can't remember exactly.
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I know that they were stacking on top of each other over the
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course of like four or five weeks in my job.
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And I was remembering that I was having such a hard time with it.
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I felt really isolated. I was dealing with a little bit
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of mom guilt too, not being able to be at all the kids
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activities. And I was identity shift that I
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was having in my life was that I had always, I, I had always felt
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like what I was doing was what I was meant to be doing as a
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flight nurse. But then I was feeling also like
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this kind of pole to be at home more too and to be with my kids
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and to help them through what the challenges that they were
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going through. And I remember thinking maybe
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I'm doing it wrong. Maybe I need to be at home with
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them more. Maybe I should want this more.
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I want to be a stay at home mom. And I remember finding myself in
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a ton of comparison and so much like I just had so much
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judgement on myself. And this is where I found the
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Life Coach School podcast. And I started to listen to it
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and I started to realize I was kind of stuck in this mismanaged
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mind of compare and despair. And I went to the website, the
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Life Coach School website. I looked up a coach and I found
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a coach that would help me specifically with having
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teenagers. And I started to get coaching
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with him every week. And what this particular coach
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really taught me was that I have control over how I feel about
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both situations. And what I would realized
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working with this coach was that I was trying to make everything
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perfect, meaning I was trying to continue to parent in the way
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that I parented little kids as I was parenting teens.
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And when they're so little like you, you do have to have kind of
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control over their schedule and when they eat and when they
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sleep and when they do their homework.
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And as they get a little bit older, you, they start to have
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this pull towards being more independent and deciding, you
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know, kind of what learning looks like for them and how they
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want to interact with you as, as as their parent and how they
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want to interact with their kids.
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And I realized I was trying to control them.
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And what this coach really taught me was that I can have
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complete control and try to control them or I can have a
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relationship with them. And that was life changing for
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me because I realized I want a relationship with them.
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I don't have to control. And that just changed so much
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for me because I also realized what I was doing at home, I was
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trying to do at work. I was trying to control the way
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that I felt. I was trying to compartmentalize
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and be happy about every call that I ran.
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And what I realized with this coach was I'm allowed to be sad.
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I'm allowed to experience like, oh, this is sadness from losing
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a patient. And also, this might look
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different from me as a parent than another mom who doesn't
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work. And this might mean, without
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judging on myself, I need to take more time to process
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through some of these losses, some of this sadness.
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And it might not be that I'm going to be peppy when I pick up
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my kid, and that's also OK. And so I learned so much from
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having that coach. My relationship with my
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teenagers grew. I let go of the control.
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I realized it didn't have to be my way, that, yeah, there's some
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things that I'm going to put my foot down to protect them, to
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have safety with them. But it was OK to let go of the
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reins and really let them start to take responsibility in how
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they wanted to create identities and create responsibilities for
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themselves. And this is when I realized my
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favorite, favorite time of parenting is the teenage years.
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And I really think that this coach really taught me how to
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have relationships with teenagers and with my my own
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kids that are wanting to create a little bit of space and learn
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for themselves and grow for themselves.
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And This is why I think that my house is the house that they
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want to go. If it's a any day during the
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week and especially on the weekends, Friday, Saturday,
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Sunday, you're going to see groups of teenagers at my house.
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And it's always loud. There's always things going on.
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We always have snacks and drinks.
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And I love having conversations with them about what they're
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going to be doing after high school, what's currently going
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on in their lives. And it's just mainly really, I
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think formulate really strong relationships with my kids as
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they've grown older. And it's also, so I think
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created safety for their friends to be able to come to me and
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have really good conversations and open conversations and
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create that safety and trust for my house.
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So they know whenever they're there, I'm the person that that
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that will always be there for them.
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And that's really what having that coach taught me.
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The second coach I hired was A and this was like kind of
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simultaneously the same time as I hired this teenage coach was I
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hired a business coach. And when I learned these life
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coaching tools, I was like, I want to be certified in them.
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I want to learn how I can go out there and I can help other
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people with these tools, have a managed mind and feel better as
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well with the same like level of transformation that I got from
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my first coach. And so I went through the life
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coach school. I got certified, I did an
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accelerated program. I remember telling my boss at
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the time, hey, I need Tuesdays and Thursdays off.
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I'm willing to work any other day of the week.
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And I remember I switched schedules with people and it
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made it really easy actually, because as a flight nurse, you
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only work 7 to 8 shifts a month as a 24 when you work 24 hour
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shifts. And that just happened to be for
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the company I worked for. And you had five days off in a
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row. And so it was really kind of
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easy for me to switch off having Tuesdays and Thursdays.
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I think we had through my certification to become a like
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life coach, I think it was like 3 hours on Tuesdays and
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Thursdays. So I just took Tuesdays and
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Thursdays off. And I switched my schedule
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around for three months. And after I became certified, I
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was like, I just want to start coaching people.
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And so I started my Instagram and letting people know that I'm
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a coach and that I wanted to really help them manage their
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mind. And I had the tools to help them
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feel better. And I started doing that.
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So I hired a business coach right off the bat who would help
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me just like really start. How do I step into being a life
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coach? And this, having this business
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coach really, really taught me how I could have a highly
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pressurized job and step into a new identity at the same time.
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And I think what I really struggled with for a long time
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as a nurse was compartmentalization.
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Like I think as healthcare workers were just told, hey,
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let's get the job done. Let's push down the way we feel
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and let's do the work. And then when we're off shift,
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then we can address the way we feel.
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But the bad part about compartmentalizing is that you
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never quite get to how you feel when they're bad emotions when
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you're not working. And then you shove it down and
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you shove it down and you shove it down and becomes a huge
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monster later. And I really think that that's
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how in healthcare burnout is created.
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I think that that's how mental health and depression and really
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pushing down some hard emotions happens to healthcare workers.
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And that's simply why a lot of healthcare workers, I think,
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have cardiac issues and a lot of health problems and mental
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health problems later on. And so this business coach
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really taught me how can I shift into two identities while also
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having a highly pressurized job and compartmentalizing when I
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need to. But then also learning to become
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the person who could process the hard emotions, who could allow
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myself to be sad when I lost a patient, to allow myself to
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evaluate what went well, what didn't go well, what could I do
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better on my next flights. And I really let go of having to
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do things perfectly. I really learned from this
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business coach who is still continuing to be my business
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business coach, to let it be messy and to also it's either
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learning or growing and failing is OK because there's learning
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and all of that. And so that was super, super
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powerful for me because I gave myself permission to feel the
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hard emotions. I gave myself permission to say,
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oh, I am so sad after that call. I am so sad that I missed my
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kids event. I am really disappointed that I
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had to miss Christmas this year and just to say it out loud,
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allow myself to process through it and then allow myself to to
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be messy as learning to be a new life coach while also doing the
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thing that I really love as a as a flight nurse.
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And so that's really what I've learned from that coach and what
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I'm continuing to learn from her and why she still is my business
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coach is that it really matters what you're thinking, especially
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if you're a doer and you're a overachiever.
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There's so many actions that we can keep taking, but we want to
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make sure that the actions that we're taking aren't from a
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hustle, aren't from, hey, I got to keep taking them because the
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more action I take, the more I'm going to get there.
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And what she really has taught me is how you, how you are as
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you're getting there will be how you are as you arrive.
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Meaning like I can take it from hustle and overworking because
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that's what's helped me get things in my life before.
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Or I can take it from desire. I can take it from abundance.
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I can take it action knowing I'm going to get there no matter
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what. And that might mean that I am
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taking just as much action. But when you're taking it from a
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place of confidence that you're going to get there no matter
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what, you are taking it from sufficiency.
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You're not taking it from, I got to take a bunch of action
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because it feels scarce and I just don't know if I can do it.
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And so that's what this coach has really taught me and what
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she has really helped me with is be able to change identities, to
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be able to go from full time nurse to full time life coach
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and entrepreneurship. And I know a lot of you nurses
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who listen in on me have thought about entrepreneurship.
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And I just want to give a little plug that us nurses and people
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in healthcare, we are awesome entrepreneurs because we know at
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the highest level how to multitask, how to do it in a
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highly pressurized environment and how to get it done and how
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to do it tired and even when we have fear.
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And so she really helped me make the transition of it's OK to
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shift in and out of identities. It's OK to shift from I really
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loved being a flight nurse to I really want to love being a life
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coach and going all in on that. And it really helped me realize
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like I can grieve really loving flight and being a nurse and
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take as much time as I need in that identity while stepping
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into something new. And it took time.
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And it was like she really taught me like it's, it's
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allowed to take as much time as you need to be in the in between
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identity to step into the new one.
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And then this left me led me to my current life coach.
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So I still have my business coach and I have a current life
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coach as well. Her name is Claire.
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So shout out to Claire if she is listening.
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I all of these coaches I met with on a weekly basis.
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And I think weekly support is so pivotal because we all know so
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much happens in seven days. And being able to meet with each
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of my coaches weekly has me develop a game plan, has me
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process any hard emotions that I'm feeling, and then also helps
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me put it into action. And then also accountability
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when I meet with them again to be like, OK, this is what's
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working. This is what's not working.
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This is what I want to do differently.
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This is what's coming up for me. And there's accountability in
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meetings with someone every week as well.
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They don't let you quit. They don't let you make excuses.
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They don't let you give up. And so my current life coach,
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gosh, how long have I been with her?
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I think I've been with her for over 2 years now.
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She has really taught me how to keep going when life is lifing.
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And I know you guys know what I mean by that.
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Things happen unexpectedly in our life.
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Transitions, shifts that we are planning, shifts that we plan on
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not happening to us. And she's really taught me how
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to become the person who grows the capability and the capacity
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to continue to do the hard thing.
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I think there's just this narrative right now to shy away
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from the hard. And our brain automatically
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likes to say, what's the least amount of action that we can do
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or put forth that's going to create the result we want.
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And what this coach has really taught me to do is to love the
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challenge, to grow my capability, to not shy away from
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the hard, to do the hard, and then to lead with purpose.
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And I really think I've learned to do this with her through
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trusting myself, through generating courage, through
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applying the coaching tools that I know and that she's teaching
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me. And this has really allowed
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myself to be authentic, to shift in to doing the hard thing while
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also chasing my future dreams and who I want to be in the
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future and what I want to have and create for the future.
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And I think in healthcare, we're all leaders.
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I think I've always thought of myself as a leader, but I think
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it's been hard. I think I saw glimpses of it as
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I was a child, but as I stepped into leadership roles as an
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adult in nursing and ultimately in flight nursing, I've realized
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if you're a leader, there's no getting away from it.
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You will find the leadership positions and they will find
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you. And I think anybody who works in
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healthcare has signed up to be a leader.
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And so I have really learned from this current life coach how
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to go with purpose and how to lead not only my life, but how
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to be the example to other people.
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And I wanted to give you guys all these examples of the power
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of having a coach. And I know that the people that
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I coach, the hundreds of people that I coach, both one-on-one
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and inside my programs and small groups, they have created
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individualized results for themselves that they go and
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they're caring now in their own life so that they can have a
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managed mind and they can go out and create anything that they
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want. Love the challenges, love the
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hard and feel better doing it. And so I want to offer you, if
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you don't have a coach right now, I want to be your coach.
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Whether it's inside my programs or whether it's one-on-one.
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Come find out the power of having a weekly support coach to
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call you out, to hold you accountable and to have you do
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the hard work of really feeling your emotions.
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Successful people are the ones who are willing to feel
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anything, the good, the bad, the everything in between emotions
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and instead of pushing them down, it's allowed me to get out
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of my ruts faster. It's a helped me keep myself
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from not spinning and confusion and comparison.
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It's helped me process really hard emotions and really hard
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things that I've been through and currently going through.
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It's helped me create resilience to continue to challenge myself
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to go 1st and to create big goals.
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And it's given me confidence to authentically be me.
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Meaning it's helped me realize these are my strengths and also
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these are my weaknesses. And to celebrate myself.
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I no longer feel like I have to be stuck in in in a rut.
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I know what it's like to be in a high value cycle and to be in a
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flow and I know how to maximize when I am in one.
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But I also know how to carry myself when I'm going through a
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low. When I'm falling in a hole and
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I'm in a rut. I know how to not beat myself
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up. I know how to not stay in
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judgement. I know how to pull myself out of
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it and to process those hard emotions.
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I know how to lean into strength and embrace.
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And I love my weaknesses. And having a coach has helped me
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manage my mind to feel better and to continue to seek
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uncomfortable things for my growth and for ultimately what
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I've want. Having a coach, a life coach,
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has helped me create the life that I love.
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I was watching this show. Gosh, what's the name of it?
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I think it's called Eternity. But it's this new movie with
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Olsen is the girl in it? Gosh, I can't remember her name.
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And Miles Teller and then the other guy from The Boys in the
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Boats is in it. But OK, basically the premise of
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this movie is she has her first husband and he goes off to war
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and he dies and she's really sad about that.
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But eventually she meets her second husband, who she marries
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and spends 60 years with, has kids with and grandchildren
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with. And then and then they both die
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and she goes to this place and she has to realize she has to
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pick her eternity between her first husband and her second
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husband. But the, the whole premise of
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the movie is you go back when you arrive at this place.
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They, they have it like a train station where you have to pick
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what eternity you want to go to. You arrive in the place where
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you are the most happiest in life.
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So some people arrive when they're kids.
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They said no one arrives as teenagers.
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Some people arrive in their 20s. And she happened to arrive in
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her 20s. And it sparked this conversation
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with my husband. And I asked him if you could go
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back to the time when you are the happiest and what would it
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be? And he said it would be when we
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had our first kid. And I was like, oh, OK, that's
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interesting. And he's like, what about for
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you? And I'm like, it would be now.
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And I didn't hesitate in saying that because life life, having a
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life coach and having these tools has really taught me how
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to magnify my happiness. It doesn't mean that I
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experience great emotions all the time.
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It's really taught me how do I navigate the hard emotions?
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How do I make them work for me? How do I process them?
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And also how do I lean into the emotions that are going to
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propel me forward. And I truly am the happiest that
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I have ever been. And having a managed mind has
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you feeling better and gives you the result of being able to
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create whatever happiness you want and whatever identity you
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want in your life. And I want to offer you guys if
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you don't have a coach and if anything in this episode spoke
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to you about having one and what it's like to have one, I want to
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be your coach. I am getting ready next week to
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open up a new offer and I this is for anybody and I want to
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offer you guys. Join my e-mail list so you'll be
24:23
the first to know. And if you are interested in
24:26
having a one-on-one weekly coach, book a consult.
24:30
I will put the link inside the show notes to find out what it's
24:36
like to have someone meet weekly with you, hold you accountable,
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process a hard emotion, and really grow the capacity and
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resilience to level up. That's it for this week, you
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guys. I hope you guys felt the power
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of having a coach and I will see all of you guys next week.
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Bye.