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Who Gets Access to Your Inner World? · WhozYourMama

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Who's Your Mama, a podcast focusing on tomorrow's future, which are our kids, educators, teachers, parents, all encompassing with the goal of understanding that our brain is a muscle that we can exercise to control the speed in the direction that we want.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go, y'all.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: The time is now.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Annabelle Solomon, welcome back to Who's Your Mama?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having me, Michelle.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: As always, it's a pleasure and it's been a while.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And just a shout out to you being uh the 30th episode on Who's Your Mama.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm honored.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's an honor to share it with you.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So let's just let's just dive right in.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, lots of things have been happening in your life.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Last we caught up, you had made the move to Colorado, you just made another move, you are well uh uh embedded in your teaching and getting your PhD, and so much more to come on that.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And just all around impressive of ambition and truly caring about making a difference in this world.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: So uh I just uh continue to be so so impressed by everything you're doing and what we share when we're together.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: So on that note, one of the things that I've been thinking about as having a daughter who's about to start her senior in high school, and thinking about privacy and social media and the irony of the fact that I'm naturally such a private person, and then started Who's Your Mama?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a calling, but trying to really figure out what are my boundaries for this that are within my control, you know, thinking about discernment as far as how much of my private life do I share on something that's so public when so much of this is about sharing and growth and learning together.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: So let's just start there.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And from your perspective, personally and professionally, what are your thoughts on all of that?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, that's incredible.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's like so interesting too, especially now, with like we talked about the increase in social media, everyone wanting to have a social media presence, the importance of influencers and all that.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think it becomes really important to try to learn, just like you said, that like discernment and placing boundaries between, okay, what should I be sharing and what should I keep to myself?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because I feel like we're in a society and an environment where the more you share, the more exciting you are, the more people want to like listen to you if you're sharing about personal stories, personal narratives.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I think that's really interesting because we're coming to heads with this time where so many people on social media, for example, are sharing, are oversharing, so to say.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it also feels like, okay, when you're sharing that much, you don't even have your privacy.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're going beyond your own boundaries, personal boundaries, morals, X, Y, Z.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: And like, what can you keep to yourself and keep private when you feel the pressure to be like, well, I want people to like me, I want people to know me.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna share everything, you know?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really interesting.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I've kind of seen that play out throughout like professional work, but also in like personal life as well, of feeling like, what is the boundary between sharing about my accomplishments or my past or my beliefs versus what do I keep to myself and to who do I share that information with as well?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think is so interesting and important.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it is too.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it would be really helpful for myself as well, and a really important conversation that people can ask themselves and and uh amongst the people that they want to communicate with this topic on, because I think it's something on many people's minds, and and a huge component of that is protecting your peace.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Which is a I call personalized medicine energy hygiene.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: What would be some tools that you could offer to those listening in those areas?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, 100%.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: I love the energy hygiene.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: I love protecting your peace.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that one thing that comes to mind off the bat is really thinking about why connecting with your inner self and thinking, okay, why do I feel maybe the need to like overshare or share this specific information, right?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Is that coming from a place of, hey, I feel a genuine connection with this person?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like they're a very close friend, for example, and I want to share XYZ.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it coming from a place of I feel like I need to share XYZ about myself because I want them to like me, or because I want more views, or because I want more attention?
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's like a really important first step is to like reflect inward and think, okay, what why am I wanting to share this certain thing about myself?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: Is it for this reason, or is it for maybe a more external reason?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that kind of ties into my second point as well of like having the right community of friends or family or peers that you feel like will build you up as opposed to like break you down when you are sharing this sort of like vulnerable or personal information, you know, because I do believe that it's very powerful to share about your accomplishments and share about yourself and build human connection, right?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's what humans love to do.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it's all about.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: But being careful about, okay, like, is this the right community of supportive peers, friends, family that I feel comfortable to share that with?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and kind of maybe, you know, feeling out those relationships before going around and sharing everything that people might use against you.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's it could be a scary place in a scary world.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: So you think sometimes you want to protect your peace in that sense and kind of get a sense of okay, who am I sharing with and why?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I I think that is so important.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so two things, I mean one of the things that I've talked to my daughter about is no one can take two things away from you unless you allow it to you and in what order.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: And she's you know, my heart and my head, mama, and then those will reconcile.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: That being said, it is easier said than done.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: What would you say?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I am thinking about roots and the daily health and wellness guide, personalized guide that you put together, and I think it's gonna continue to be a really great tool for Liberty when she goes off to college in a year, because it is more than just a planner, so to speak, and an organizer, it's a life plan of day by day, week by week, my my month.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm thinking about journaling and things like that.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: For some people, I think listening would think okay, easier said than done, you know, discernment, you know, testing it, trial and error, I bet it on the wrong person, and especially sometimes it's family, which makes it even harder.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: That people sometimes will unintentionally intentionally use your words and vulnerability as weapons.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so, what are some ways to kind of track your own internal thoughts and behaviors to have a healthy level of monitoring that so that maybe if you are having some triggers, light ones, you can flip the coin and it will spark your mind into navigating into another direction.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, 100%, 100%.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, something that I believe in so strongly is like you mentioned, the power of journaling and like writing down those thoughts, writing down those emotions when you have them.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And like you said, right to be able to look back and then kind of track and see what are my trigger points or how was I feeling back then during this instant instance or this instance.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so I, you know, in my day-by-day planner, I do have spots filled every week for intentional weekly reflections to kind of set aside that time, really reflect, think about the past week, think about the forward-coming week, really reflect and take that time to practice how to, you know, sit down, look inward, and then write those thoughts on paper.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's so therapeutic to be able to just have that brain dump, right?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: And just sit down, have somewhere to write that's safe.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I think like that's what's really important, something that I learned and want to share with others about journaling is that you are sharing your thoughts with yourself in a sense, right?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: You're writing it down.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's safe.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is between you, the paper, and the pen, and you're allowed to just release everything you're feeling, everything you're thinking onto the paper.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: And there's no one that's going to judge you for that.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's really powerful about reflection or reflective writing in general, is that, you know, you could talk to someone and it could give you the same release, right?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Of like getting your emotions or thoughts out of your head.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: But like we're talking about now, we also got to be careful about who we're sharing those things with, right?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're sharing it with yourself and you're writing it down, you're kind of having that journaling practice, I think it's a really safe and like good way to start practicing.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, how can I reflect on my emotions?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: How can I write and and put into words how I'm feeling, and also know that it's safe and protected between you and yourself.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: I often will say people laugh at me.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: I just had a conversation with with the board, uh, which I'm the CEO of, which is me, myself, and I.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: So the three of us agreed upon fill in the blank.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, and what you were saying before, I completely agree.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it it sparked my mind of one of the last conversations that you and I had uh when we were together and who's your mama was if you said the words out loud that you're saying in your mind, if somebody that you love, care for, respected said those words to you, would that feel good?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if the answer is no, then it should be no for you.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's oftentimes we think we know what we're saying in our head, and I I relate it to a spelling bee, that's why you have to spell it out.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: What's in our head and what we're actually saying out loud.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I think I'm being kind to myself when I'm going through certain things, whether it's personally, professionally, and I speak out loud to myself a lot now.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: When I started doing that, kind of like journaling, you see the words that you're writing down.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's not to judge ourselves, it's to love ourselves.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and it's to learn from ourselves, I think too, right?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: To be able to see, like, okay, here's how I'm feeling.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm able to write it into words now.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, maybe I wasn't able to do that last month, last year.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm learning this new skill.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and now I can look back and see how I've been feeling, how I've progressed, what I've learned, what I've grown through.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I just think it's so powerful.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's such an underutilized tool where sometimes people think, like, what?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why am I gonna spend time to write down my thoughts?
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't need that.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: But everyone needs that.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that once you start doing it slowly, you learn, like, oh, this is actually a great practice and a great skill.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's just an easy way to get in touch and tune with yourself and kind of build that, you know, positive emotion and positive relationship with oneself, like you're kind of mentioning.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: I completely agree.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Being our own self-intern advocate literally does make you shine from within.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a day-by-day process.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and but but wrapping our arms around each other, and then, like you said, community is is so empowering, and that is how we grow and change, regardless of age.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I really appreciate hearing all of your thoughts.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think this will resonate with everyone.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: I always reflect and think about our conversations afterwards and share things with my daughter.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I know she's even said she has with her friends, so that makes mama's heart smile too.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I do.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: So um, as we are wrapping up, but it will not be the last time.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I always appreciate it.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: And again, Annabelle Solomon of Roods, you know what time it is.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go, y'all.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go, y'all.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: The time's now.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for tuning in to Who's Your Mama.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I look forward to collaborating from a community standpoint for the next episodes.