Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Potty Police
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui away now offering free remote
- 0:02Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
- 0:06Speaker 1: Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
- 0:09Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred douy
- 0:12Speaker 1: away dot com or call eight hundred do you y Away.
- 0:16Speaker 2: Some people are very liberal with their restroom time while
- 0:19Speaker 2: at work. I can't think of anybody on this show,
- 0:23Speaker 2: but some people, and I can definitely see why you'd
- 0:27Speaker 2: want to spend a lot of time in there because
- 0:28Speaker 2: it's it's a nice quiet place. You can play games
- 0:31Speaker 2: on your phone, FaceTime your sister while you're on the can.
- 0:35Speaker 2: It's the only safe haven where your boss can't bug
- 0:38Speaker 2: you to do stuff.
- 0:39Speaker 3: Your sister still answers, that is.
- 0:42Speaker 4: And that's not true.
- 0:42Speaker 1: They still bug you.
- 0:43Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. And until now, because we call a
- 0:47Speaker 2: guy to tell him the company knows that he's been
- 0:49Speaker 2: abusing his toilet privileges and we have an interesting, yet
- 0:54Speaker 2: strange solution to fix it. In your phone, tap right
- 0:57Speaker 2: now another.
- 1:03Speaker 4: Hello, This is Carl.
- 1:05Speaker 3: Hi Carl, my name's Lady Gwinevere.
- 1:09Speaker 4: Excuse me, who did you say you were?
- 1:11Speaker 3: I know, it's just what my parents named me. I'm
- 1:14Speaker 3: from HR.
- 1:16Speaker 4: I don't remember lady Gwinevere from human Resources.
- 1:21Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm based out of Atlanta, so we haven't met.
- 1:25Speaker 4: Okay, nice to meet you.
- 1:27Speaker 3: Yeah, I was just seeing here. Your time card is
- 1:30Speaker 3: due today and I just wanted to know if you
- 1:32Speaker 3: wanted me to adjust it or if you were going
- 1:34Speaker 3: to because I do have the number right in front
- 1:36Speaker 3: of me.
- 1:38Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you're referring to.
- 1:40Speaker 3: Well, I'm looking at it, and as you've put down
- 1:42Speaker 3: full hours for the week. Yes, so what come on, Carl,
- 1:48Speaker 3: we both know that's not true.
- 1:51Speaker 4: No, it is, yeah, having this today, you're correct.
- 1:55Speaker 3: About that, but you have been spending a lot of
- 1:58Speaker 3: time building a log cabin.
- 2:01Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
- 2:02Speaker 3: It's slang for using the restroom. Yeah, apparently you've been
- 2:07Speaker 3: in there a lot, and we recently set limits on that.
- 2:11Speaker 3: So you can find it in the company handbook. We
- 2:14Speaker 3: passed it out earlier this year.
- 2:16Speaker 4: There's no way it says anything about that.
- 2:17Speaker 3: Oh it does. Yeah, too. Many employees were taking advantage of,
- 2:21Speaker 3: you know, time and just going in there with their
- 2:23Speaker 3: phone while they were freeing the turtles.
- 2:27Speaker 4: I didn't do that, and it's weird that you're using
- 2:30Speaker 4: these type of references.
- 2:31Speaker 3: Listen, I have had so many conversations like this and
- 2:36Speaker 3: I just need to change it up. Okay, different words,
- 2:39Speaker 3: different slang saved me from the sporing job.
- 2:43Speaker 4: I'm not abusing my bathroom food is, I promise you,
- 2:46Speaker 4: and I think anyone should be able to use the
- 2:49Speaker 4: bathroom whatever they need to.
- 2:50Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I absolutely agree with you. They should
- 2:53Speaker 3: be able to use the bathroom whenever they need to
- 2:55Speaker 3: at home. And according to your direct supervisor, you are
- 2:58Speaker 3: one of the top violince and releasing chocolate hostages.
- 3:02Speaker 4: Oh god, can you stop doing that.
- 3:05Speaker 3: That's what I'm asking you to do. Stop doing it.
- 3:08Speaker 4: I cannot stop going to the bathroom. Okay, I have
- 3:11Speaker 4: to use it a few times a day. That's just
- 3:13Speaker 4: how a human body works.
- 3:15Speaker 3: We have an idea. When you feel like it's time
- 3:17Speaker 3: to squeeze a steamer, I just what.
- 3:20Speaker 4: What do you have? It's a soretus for pooping.
- 3:22Speaker 3: I'm just saying I need you to go to your
- 3:24Speaker 3: supervisor and say, put a clock on me for four minutes.
- 3:27Speaker 3: I'm about to park a custard.
- 3:29Speaker 4: Oh look, god, Oh my god. This is so gross.
- 3:32Speaker 3: But he'll understand what you mean. He'll give you a
- 3:34Speaker 3: thumbs up and then just be back before the timer
- 3:37Speaker 3: runs out and we'll all be good.
- 3:39Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's just so unprofessional. How am I
- 3:41Speaker 4: having a conversation with a human resources person who's using
- 3:45Speaker 4: just all this gross slang about going to the bathroom.
- 3:48Speaker 3: I'm just trying to relate here, Okay, okay.
- 3:50Speaker 4: And you shouldn't be telling me when I can go
- 3:52Speaker 4: to the bathroom.
- 3:53Speaker 3: Well, then you shouldn't be spending hours in the bathroom,
- 3:55Speaker 3: and then we wouldn't be having this conversation.
- 3:57Speaker 4: I'm spending hours in the bathroom.
- 3:59Speaker 3: It's not what you're worker, Dylan said. Okay, he said,
- 4:01Speaker 3: you're in there at least four times a day, bacon,
- 4:03Speaker 3: some brownies.
- 4:04Speaker 4: What does Dylan have to do with this? Why would
- 4:05Speaker 4: he do that?
- 4:06Speaker 3: Because Dylan actually wanted me to broadcast the whole thing
- 4:09Speaker 3: over the radio. What do he asked for?
- 4:11Speaker 4: What?
- 4:12Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not really an HR. My name's Broke from
- 4:14Speaker 3: the radio show Brook of Jeffrey in the morning. We're
- 4:15Speaker 3: doing a phone tap on you. Oh my god, i'd
- 4:20Speaker 3: be a terrible HR person. Your coworker, Dylan set you up,
- 4:26Speaker 3: he said. He said that you've been running late to
- 4:28Speaker 3: meetings because you're spending so much time in the bathroom.
- 4:30Speaker 4: Man, I'm not. Oh my god, you're not.
- 4:34Speaker 3: Come on, you can be honest with me. I'm not,
- 4:36Speaker 3: actually hr.
- 4:37Speaker 4: Okay, maybe some, but not as much as he's saying.
- 4:40Speaker 4: I'm not baked brownies.
- 4:43Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. I'm just gonna advise you right now
- 4:45Speaker 3: to check with your supervisor next time you want to
- 4:47Speaker 3: give birth to a state trooper. Okay, oh, wake up.
- 4:54Speaker 3: Every morning was phone Tap weekday mornings on the twenties,
- 4:58Speaker 3: Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
- 5:00Speaker 4: York