Latest / Doing Marriage Well / Becoming One Flesh: Navigating Sexual Differences in Marriage
Transcript
- 0:00Doing Marriage Well for August 21, 2026 Becoming One Flesh Navigating Sexual
- 0:06Differences in Marriage Sex is literally the two becoming one flesh.
- 0:11While sex is neither the only nor even the primary thing God meant by becoming
- 0:14one flesh, it's certainly part of it.
- 0:16And all too often, it's a frustrating part.
- 0:19In today's world, most folks reach puberty and sexual awakening a decade or more before they marry.
- 0:25This generally comes with some experience. Even in the church,
- 0:28most men and women were sexual with someone, or multiple someones,
- 0:32before they met the person they married.
- 0:34Beyond that, there is experience from porn in mainstream media.
- 0:38And all this creates sexual preferences and a sexual personality.
- 0:41Unfortunately, a newlywed couple's sexual preferences are often at odds.
- 0:45And as couples get married later in life, this is more common and the differences are greater.
- 0:50Few newlywed couples have what it would take to engage in a deep,
- 0:53calm discussion of sexual preferences.
- 0:56This makes early sex frustrating or difficult for one or both spouses.
- 1:00It may also leave one or both unsatisfied.
- 1:03Generally, one spouse, typically the wife, lets go of most of their preferences to make sex work.
- 1:08Of course, it doesn't really make it work. Perhaps their spouse is okay with it, but they are not.
- 1:14This can be a big part of a wife struggling with desire, arousal, and orgasm.
- 1:18She's not getting what she needs for sex to be good for her,
- 1:21and what she is getting doesn't work well, if at all, for her.
- 1:25Often, the person who has set down most of their preferences will push to exclude
- 1:28a couple of their spouses, which spreads the frustration around.
- 1:32Because of all this, many couples spend their whole marriage having sex that
- 1:35is barely okay for one of them and less than that for the other.
- 1:39If you want better sex, getting there depends on your gender.
- 1:42For the men, it's never too late to make a change. But to do that,
- 1:46you have to be ready to let go of some of what you want and try new things.
- 1:50As sex is more difficult for women, the wise husband is quick to focus on what she prefers.
- 1:55Most men thoroughly enjoy their wife's pleasure, so making it better for her
- 1:58is making it better for yourself. For the women.
- 2:02It's never too late to make a change But to do that, you have to be ready to
- 2:05be a bit more selfish about what happens in bed Your hubby is easily aroused
- 2:09and can climax far more easily than you,
- 2:12His preferences make sex a bit better for him Your preferences can be the difference
- 2:16between pleasure and frustration,
- 2:18Be bold about your pleasure and know his pleasure will naturally follow yours,
- 2:22And as always, if you need help, get help By the way, one place you can get
- 2:27some help is the Marriage Bed Forms There's a link in the show notes This is
- 2:31Paul, and doing sex well takes effort.