Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 341: What If Healing Isn't About Fixing Yourself… But Finding Yourself Again? : Guest Shari Foos

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E 341: What If Healing Isn't About Fixing Yourself… But Finding Yourself Again? : Guest Shari Foos · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:00
  hello
• 0:00
  everybody,
• 0:00
  and
• 0:00
  welcome
• 0:01
  back
• 0:01
  to
• 0:01
  another
• 0:01
  episode
• 0:02
  of
• 0:02
  Adult
• 0:02
  Child
• 0:02
  of
• 0:03
  Dysfunction.
• 0:03
  Today
• 0:04
  we
• 0:04
  have
• 0:04
  with
• 0:04
  us
• 0:04
  Cheri
• 0:05
  Foos.
• 0:06
  She
• 0:06
  is,
• 0:06
  all
• 0:06
  kinds
• 0:07
  of
• 0:07
  acronyms
• 0:07
  here:
• 0:08
  MA,
• 0:08
  MFT,
• 0:10
  MS,
• 0:10
  NM.
• 0:10
  And
• 0:10
  she's
• 0:11
  a
• 0:11
  therapist,
• 0:12
  and
• 0:12
  she
• 0:12
  is
• 0:12
  the
• 0:12
  founder
• 0:13
  of
• 0:13
  the
• 0:13
  Narrative
• 0:14
  Method,
• 0:14
  a
• 0:15
  nonprofit
• 0:15
  serving
• 0:16
  40,000
• 0:16
  participants
• 0:17
  worldwide.
• 0:18
  She
• 0:18
  created
• 0:19
  a
• 0:19
  writing
• 0:19
  framework,
• 0:20
  rooted
• 0:20
  in
• 0:20
  narrative
• 0:21
  medicine
• 0:22
  that
• 0:22
  fosters
• 0:22
  authenticity,
• 0:23
  self-confidence,
• 0:25
  and
• 0:25
  meaningful
• 0:26
  connection
• 0:26
  through
• 0:26
  judgment-free
• 0:27
  storytelling
• 0:28
  and
• 0:28
  relational
• 0:29
  mindfulness
• 0:30
  implemented
• 0:30
  across
• 0:31
  diverse
• 0:31
  communities
• 0:32
  and
• 0:32
  partnerships
• 0:33
  globally.
• 0:34
  Welcome,
• 0:34
  Cheri.
• 0:36
  Thank
• 0:36
  you
• 0:36
  so
• 0:36
  much,
• 0:37
  Tammy.
• 0:38
  When
• 0:38
  we
• 0:38
  got
• 0:39
  on
• 0:39
  here,
• 0:39
  we
• 0:39
  were
• 0:39
  just
• 0:39
  getting
• 0:40
  started,
• 0:41
  and
• 0:41
  I
• 0:41
  was
• 0:41
  just
• 0:41
  talking,
• 0:42
  and
• 0:42
  you
• 0:42
  were
• 0:42
  telling
• 0:42
  me
• 0:42
  a
• 0:42
  little
• 0:43
  bit
• 0:43
  about
• 0:43
  the
• 0:43
  nonprofit
• 0:44
  that
• 0:44
  you
• 0:44
  do,
• 0:45
  and
• 0:45
  absolutely
• 0:45
  love
• 0:46
  Because
• 0:46
  you
• 0:46
  mentioned
• 0:46
  that
• 0:47
  it
• 0:47
  started
• 0:47
  during
• 0:48
  the
• 0:48
  pandemic,
• 0:48
  which
• 0:48
  is
• 0:49
  where
• 0:49
  I
• 0:49
  feel
• 0:49
  like
• 0:50
  people
• 0:51
  were
• 0:52
  just
• 0:52
  shut
• 0:52
  down.
• 0:53
  Yes.
• 0:53
  Connection-wise,
• 0:54
  it
• 0:54
  was
• 0:54
  just,
• 0:55
  halted.
• 0:55
  It
• 0:55
  went
• 0:56
  from
• 0:57
  100%
• 0:58
  connection
• 0:58
  to
• 0:58
  0%
• 0:59
  connection,
• 1:00
  and
• 1:01
  wow,
• 1:01
  it
• 1:02
  was...
• 1:02
  it
• 1:02
  was
• 1:02
  devastating.
• 1:03
  But
• 1:04
  now
• 1:04
  it's
• 1:04
  people
• 1:04
  are
• 1:05
  reawakening,
• 1:05
  and
• 1:05
  now
• 1:06
  it's
• 1:06
  connection
• 1:06
  is
• 1:06
  starting
• 1:07
  to
• 1:07
  be
• 1:07
  a
• 1:07
  thing
• 1:07
  again.
• 1:08
  So-
• 1:09
  Amazing.
• 1:10
  So
• 1:10
  talk
• 1:11
  about-
• 1:11
  Yeah
• 1:11
  what
• 1:11
  you
• 1:12
  do.
• 1:12
  Talk,
• 1:12
  let's
• 1:12
  just
• 1:13
  jump
• 1:13
  right
• 1:13
  in,
• 1:13
  and
• 1:13
  your
• 1:14
  story's
• 1:14
  gonna
• 1:14
  be
• 1:14
  all
• 1:15
  interwoven,
• 1:15
  because
• 1:16
  we
• 1:16
  all
• 1:16
  have
• 1:16
  a
• 1:16
  reason
• 1:17
  sure.
• 1:17
  We
• 1:17
  actually
• 1:18
  started,
• 1:18
  in
• 1:19
  person
• 1:19
  in
• 1:20
  2012,
• 1:21
  and
• 1:21
  it
• 1:21
  was
• 1:21
  conceived
• 1:22
  as
• 1:22
  a
• 1:22
  way
• 1:22
  to
• 1:23
  address
• 1:23
  what
• 1:23
  was
• 1:23
  already
• 1:24
  growing
• 1:25
  in,
• 1:25
  a
• 1:25
  culture
• 1:26
  where
• 1:27
  loneliness
• 1:28
  was
• 1:28
  so
• 1:28
  pervasive,
• 1:29
  for
• 1:29
  lots
• 1:30
  of
• 1:30
  reasons,
• 1:30
  but
• 1:31
  in
• 1:31
  my
• 1:31
  opinion,
• 1:32
  mostly
• 1:32
  because
• 1:33
  of
• 1:33
  tech.
• 1:34
  And
• 1:35
  so
• 1:36
  as
• 1:36
  people
• 1:37
  got
• 1:38
  more
• 1:38
  and
• 1:39
  more
• 1:39
  distant,
• 1:40
  as
• 1:40
  you
• 1:40
  were
• 1:40
  saying,
• 1:41
  way
• 1:42
  for
• 1:42
  people
• 1:42
  to
• 1:42
  come
• 1:42
  together
• 1:43
  and
• 1:43
  experience
• 1:44
  their
• 1:44
  humanity
• 1:45
  even
• 1:45
  with
• 1:45
  strangers.
• 1:47
  So
• 1:47
  we
• 1:47
  went
• 1:47
  online
• 1:48
  and,
• 1:49
  turned
• 1:49
  it
• 1:50
  into
• 1:50
  a
• 1:50
  tight
• 1:51
  hour
• 1:51
  of
• 1:51
  creative
• 1:52
  writing.
• 1:52
  It
• 1:52
  could
• 1:53
  be
• 1:53
  any
• 1:53
  format,
• 1:54
  poetry,
• 1:55
  prose,
• 1:55
  fiction,
• 1:56
  nonfiction,
• 1:56
  journaling.
• 1:58
  And
• 1:58
  the
• 1:58
  idea
• 1:59
  is
• 2:00
  you
• 2:00
  write
• 2:00
  to
• 2:00
  prompts
• 2:01
  in
• 2:01
  short
• 2:02
  periods
• 2:03
  of
• 2:03
  time,
• 2:04
  and
• 2:04
  then
• 2:04
  you
• 2:04
  share
• 2:05
  what
• 2:05
  you've
• 2:05
  written
• 2:05
  in
• 2:05
  small
• 2:06
  groups
• 2:07
  without
• 2:08
  any
• 2:08
  criticism,
• 2:09
  no
• 2:09
  feedback,
• 2:11
  not
• 2:11
  even
• 2:11
  compliments.
• 2:13
  Because
• 2:13
  once
• 2:13
  we
• 2:14
  start
• 2:14
  qualifying
• 2:15
  others'
• 2:15
  work,
• 2:16
  we've
• 2:16
  taken
• 2:17
  it
• 2:17
  out
• 2:17
  of
• 2:17
  the
• 2:17
  safety
• 2:18
  zone.
• 2:18
  Plus,
• 2:19
  you
• 2:19
  just
• 2:19
  wrote
• 2:20
  the
• 2:20
  damn
• 2:20
  thing,
• 2:20
  you
• 2:21
  don't
• 2:21
  even
• 2:21
  know
• 2:21
  what
• 2:21
  you
• 2:21
  think,
• 2:22
  much
• 2:22
  less
• 2:23
  want
• 2:23
  someone
• 2:23
  else's
• 2:24
  input.
• 2:25
  And
• 2:25
  so
• 2:26
  the
• 2:26
  cool
• 2:26
  thing
• 2:26
  about
• 2:27
  it
• 2:27
  is
• 2:27
  that
• 2:28
  you
• 2:28
  have
• 2:29
  the
• 2:29
  experience
• 2:29
  of
• 2:30
  feeling
• 2:30
  seen
• 2:30
  and
• 2:31
  heard,
• 2:31
  and
• 2:31
  you
• 2:31
  can
• 2:32
  hear
• 2:32
  your
• 2:32
  own
• 2:32
  voice,
• 2:33
  but
• 2:33
  at
• 2:34
  the
• 2:34
  same
• 2:34
  time,
• 2:35
  everyone
• 2:36
  else
• 2:36
  is
• 2:36
  a
• 2:37
  witness,
• 2:38
  and
• 2:38
  then
• 2:39
  you
• 2:39
  have
• 2:39
  the
• 2:39
  experience
• 2:40
  of
• 2:40
  using
• 2:40
  your
• 2:41
  presence,
• 2:42
  your
• 2:42
  goodness,
• 2:43
  to
• 2:43
  make
• 2:43
  somebody
• 2:44
  else
• 2:44
  feel
• 2:44
  good.
• 2:45
  And
• 2:46
  I
• 2:46
  think
• 2:46
  this
• 2:47
  non-critical
• 2:48
  environment
• 2:48
  has
• 2:48
  so
• 2:49
  much
• 2:49
  to
• 2:49
  do
• 2:49
  with
• 2:49
  why
• 2:50
  people
• 2:51
  are
• 2:51
  able
• 2:51
  to
• 2:52
  just
• 2:52
  flow
• 2:52
  creatively.
• 2:54
  You
• 2:54
  don't
• 2:54
  have
• 2:54
  to
• 2:55
  be
• 2:55
  a
• 2:55
  writer.
• 2:55
  You
• 2:56
  don't
• 2:56
  have
• 2:56
  to
• 2:56
  like
• 2:56
  writing.
• 2:57
  To
• 2:58
  me,
• 2:58
  what's
• 2:58
  far
• 2:59
  more
• 2:59
  important
• 3:00
  than
• 3:00
  what
• 3:00
  you
• 3:00
  write
• 3:02
  is
• 3:02
  how
• 3:03
  you
• 3:03
  can
• 3:03
  flow,
• 3:04
  how
• 3:04
  you
• 3:05
  can
• 3:05
  move
• 3:05
  forward
• 3:06
  without
• 3:06
  double-guessing
• 3:07
  yourself.
• 3:08
  And
• 3:08
  so
• 3:09
  many
• 3:09
  people
• 3:10
  think,
• 3:10
  "I'm
• 3:11
  a
• 3:11
  procrastinator,"
• 3:12
  or,
• 3:12
  "I'm
• 3:12
  stuck."
• 3:13
  No,
• 3:13
  you're
• 3:14
  not
• 3:14
  a
• 3:14
  procrastinator
• 3:15
  or
• 3:15
  you're
• 3:15
  stuck,
• 3:16
  even
• 3:16
  though
• 3:16
  you
• 3:16
  may
• 3:17
  be
• 3:17
  experiencing
• 3:18
  those
• 3:18
  things.
• 3:19
  But
• 3:19
  we
• 3:19
  all
• 3:20
  feel
• 3:20
  those
• 3:21
  things
• 3:21
  because
• 3:21
  we
• 3:22
  live
• 3:22
  in
• 3:22
  a
• 3:22
  culture
• 3:22
  where
• 3:23
  we're
• 3:23
  constantly
• 3:24
  criticized.
• 3:25
  And
• 3:25
  so
• 3:26
  if
• 3:26
  you're
• 3:26
  a
• 3:26
  perfectionist,
• 3:27
  everybody's
• 3:28
  got
• 3:28
  that,
• 3:29
  to
• 3:29
  different
• 3:29
  degrees.
• 3:30
  But
• 3:30
  once
• 3:31
  in
• 3:31
  a
• 3:31
  group
• 3:32
  environment,
• 3:33
  which
• 3:33
  is
• 3:34
  so
• 3:34
  powerful,
• 3:35
  if
• 3:36
  you
• 3:36
  say
• 3:36
  something
• 3:37
  like
• 3:37
  that,
• 3:37
  "Oh,
• 3:37
  I'm
• 3:37
  such
• 3:38
  a
• 3:38
  procrastinator,"
• 3:39
  you'll
• 3:39
  see
• 3:40
  a
• 3:40
  zillion
• 3:40
  people
• 3:41
  nodding,
• 3:41
  and
• 3:41
  you
• 3:41
  realize,
• 3:42
  "Oh,
• 3:42
  my
• 3:42
  gosh,
• 3:43
  this
• 3:43
  is
• 3:43
  not
• 3:44
  my
• 3:44
  personal
• 3:45
  issue."
• 3:46
  And
• 3:47
  as
• 3:47
  in
• 3:47
  all
• 3:48
  kinds
• 3:48
  of
• 3:48
  healing
• 3:49
  modalities,
• 3:50
  it
• 3:50
  is
• 3:51
  the
• 3:51
  brotherhood
• 3:52
  and
• 3:52
  sisterhood
• 3:53
  and
• 3:53
  humanhood
• 3:54
  that
• 3:54
  really
• 3:55
  heals
• 3:55
  us.
• 3:56
  We
• 3:56
  don't
• 3:56
  need
• 3:57
  designer
• 3:58
  products
• 3:59
  in
• 3:59
  order
• 3:59
  to
• 3:59
  be
• 4:00
  happy.
• 4:00
  We
• 4:00
  need
• 4:01
  the
• 4:01
  simplest
• 4:03
  eye
• 4:03
  contact
• 4:04
  and
• 4:04
  caring.
• 4:05
  Oh,
• 4:06
  amen.,
• 4:06
  Very
• 4:07
  well
• 4:07
  said.
• 4:07
  And
• 4:08
  with
• 4:08
  the
• 4:08
  people,
• 4:09
  especially
• 4:09
  in
• 4:09
  the
• 4:09
  people
• 4:10
  in
• 4:10
  my
• 4:10
  world
• 4:10
  that
• 4:10
  grew
• 4:11
  up
• 4:11
  in
• 4:11
  that
• 4:11
  not
• 4:11
  being
• 4:11
  able
• 4:12
  to
• 4:12
  voice
• 4:12
  their
• 4:12
  opinion
• 4:13
  or
• 4:13
  feeling
• 4:13
  so
• 4:13
  constantly
• 4:14
  judged
• 4:14
  all
• 4:15
  the
• 4:15
  time,
• 4:16
  it's
• 4:16
  hard.
• 4:17
  It's
• 4:17
  hard
• 4:17
  to
• 4:17
  get
• 4:17
  started.
• 4:18
  But
• 4:19
  I
• 4:19
  love
• 4:19
  that
• 4:19
  you
• 4:20
  open
• 4:20
  that
• 4:20
  up
• 4:20
  for
• 4:21
  no
• 4:22
  feedback,
• 4:22
  no
• 4:23
  judgment.
• 4:23
  You
• 4:23
  just
• 4:24
  write.
• 4:24
  Yes.
• 4:24
  I'm
• 4:24
  not
• 4:24
  saying
• 4:24
  it's
• 4:24
  not
• 4:25
  even
• 4:25
  the
• 4:25
  community
• 4:25
  yet,
• 4:26
  but
• 4:26
  it's
• 4:27
  the
• 4:27
  release.
• 4:28
  People
• 4:28
  don't
• 4:28
  understand
• 4:29
  when
• 4:29
  I
• 4:30
  say,
• 4:30
  journal,
• 4:30
  and
• 4:30
  they're
• 4:30
  like,
• 4:30
  "I
• 4:31
  don't
• 4:31
  know
• 4:31
  how
• 4:31
  to
• 4:31
  write.
• 4:31
  I
• 4:31
  don't
• 4:31
  know
• 4:32
  how
• 4:32
  to
• 4:32
  do
• 4:32
  this."
• 4:32
  Who
• 4:33
  cares?
• 4:34
  Yes.
• 4:34
  Put
• 4:34
  it
• 4:34
  on
• 4:34
  paper.
• 4:35
  Get
• 4:35
  it
• 4:35
  out
• 4:35
  of
• 4:35
  your
• 4:35
  mind
• 4:36
  and
• 4:36
  onto
• 4:37
  used
• 4:37
  to
• 4:37
  remember
• 4:37
  when
• 4:37
  I
• 4:37
  was
• 4:38
  a
• 4:38
  kid,
• 4:38
  I
• 4:38
  used
• 4:38
  to
• 4:38
  journal,
• 4:39
  and
• 4:39
  then
• 4:39
  I
• 4:39
  would
• 4:39
  rip...
• 4:40
  I
• 4:40
  was
• 4:40
  so
• 4:40
  afraid
• 4:41
  of
• 4:41
  having
• 4:41
  my
• 4:41
  journal
• 4:42
  found-
• 4:42
  Yeah
• 4:43
  that
• 4:43
  I
• 4:43
  would
• 4:43
  go
• 4:43
  down
• 4:43
  to
• 4:44
  the
• 4:44
  river
• 4:44
  and,
• 4:44
  ball
• 4:44
  it
• 4:44
  up
• 4:45
  and
• 4:45
  watch
• 4:45
  it
• 4:45
  go
• 4:45
  away
• 4:46
  in
• 4:46
  the
• 4:46
  river
• 4:46
  after
• 4:47
  I
• 4:47
  would
• 4:47
  write,
• 4:47
  or
• 4:47
  burn
• 4:48
  it,
• 4:48
  or
• 4:49
  rip
• 4:49
  it
• 4:49
  up,
• 4:49
  whatever
• 4:50
  it
• 4:50
  was,
• 4:50
  because
• 4:51
  I
• 4:51
  was
• 4:51
  deathly
• 4:52
  afraid
• 4:53
  of
• 4:53
  having
• 4:53
  those
• 4:53
  things
• 4:54
  found
• 4:54
  but
• 4:54
  it
• 4:54
  was
• 4:54
  still
• 4:55
  getting
• 4:56
  it
• 4:56
  out
• 4:56
  of
• 4:56
  my
• 4:56
  body.
• 4:57
  That
• 4:58
  was
• 4:58
  probably
• 4:59
  a
• 4:59
  really
• 4:59
  good
• 5:00
  move.
• 5:01
  If
• 5:01
  it's
• 5:02
  not
• 5:02
  safe,
• 5:03
  don't
• 5:03
  open
• 5:03
  up,
• 5:04
  in
• 5:04
  any
• 5:04
  circumstance.
• 5:05
  I,
• 5:06
  it's
• 5:06
  great
• 5:06
  that
• 5:06
  you
• 5:07
  use
• 5:07
  the
• 5:07
  word
• 5:07
  release.
• 5:07
  I
• 5:08
  think
• 5:08
  of
• 5:08
  it,
• 5:08
  too.
• 5:09
  I
• 5:09
  think
• 5:09
  we
• 5:10
  all
• 5:10
  have
• 5:10
  a
• 5:10
  creative
• 5:11
  force,
• 5:12
  and
• 5:12
  if
• 5:12
  we
• 5:12
  don't
• 5:12
  get
• 5:13
  to
• 5:13
  us,
• 5:14
  and
• 5:14
  then
• 5:14
  we
• 5:15
  can't
• 5:15
  even
• 5:15
  find
• 5:16
  a
• 5:16
  place
• 5:16
  to
• 5:16
  begin.
• 5:17
  To
• 5:17
  everybody
• 5:18
  is
• 5:19
  you
• 5:20
  are-
• 5:21
  infinitely
• 5:22
  creative,
• 5:23
  whether
• 5:23
  or
• 5:23
  not
• 5:23
  you
• 5:24
  realize
• 5:24
  it.
• 5:25
  You
• 5:25
  use
• 5:25
  a
• 5:25
  spatula
• 5:26
  to
• 5:26
  get
• 5:27
  a
• 5:27
  cup
• 5:27
  out
• 5:27
  of
• 5:28
  a
• 5:28
  high
• 5:28
  cupboard,
• 5:29
  that
• 5:29
  was
• 5:29
  creative,
• 5:30
  whatever
• 5:31
  you
• 5:31
  can
• 5:32
  really
• 5:33
  do
• 5:33
  that's
• 5:33
  outside
• 5:34
  any
• 5:35
  box
• 5:35
  is
• 5:36
  creative.
• 5:36
  So
• 5:37
  you
• 5:37
  are
• 5:37
  entitled,
• 5:38
  empowered,
• 5:40
  and
• 5:40
  you
• 5:40
  have
• 5:40
  to
• 5:41
  express
• 5:41
  yourself
• 5:42
  to
• 5:42
  have
• 5:43
  this
• 5:43
  relationship,
• 5:44
  this,
• 5:45
  dialogue
• 5:46
  with
• 5:46
  yourself
• 5:47
  that
• 5:47
  accompanies
• 5:48
  us
• 5:48
  in
• 5:49
  a
• 5:49
  way
• 5:49
  that
• 5:49
  is
• 5:50
  really
• 5:50
  the
• 5:50
  opposite
• 5:51
  of
• 5:51
  loneliness.
• 5:53
  Yep.
• 5:54
  And
• 5:54
  it's
• 5:54
  funny
• 5:54
  because
• 5:55
  the
• 5:55
  connection,
• 5:55
  I
• 5:55
  see
• 5:56
  it
• 5:56
  both
• 5:56
  ways.,
• 5:56
  I
• 5:56
  do
• 5:57
  a
• 5:57
  TikTok
• 5:57
  live
• 5:58
  in
• 5:58
  the
• 5:58
  morning,
• 5:58
  and
• 5:58
  I'm
• 5:59
  there
• 5:59
  to
• 5:59
  be
• 5:59
  just
• 5:59
  a
• 6:00
  positive
• 6:01
  light
• 6:01
  and
• 6:01
  a
• 6:01
  force
• 6:01
  for
• 6:02
  people
• 6:02
  to
• 6:02
  come
• 6:02
  on,
• 6:03
  ask
• 6:03
  questions
• 6:03
  about
• 6:04
  whether
• 6:04
  it's
• 6:04
  childhood
• 6:05
  trauma
• 6:05
  or
• 6:05
  connection,
• 6:06
  relationships,
• 6:06
  whatever
• 6:07
  it
• 6:07
  is.
• 6:07
  And
• 6:08
  you'd
• 6:08
  be
• 6:08
  surprised
• 6:08
  how
• 6:09
  many
• 6:09
  people
• 6:09
  come
• 6:09
  on
• 6:10
  and
• 6:10
  they're
• 6:10
  just
• 6:10
  like,
• 6:11
  "I'm
• 6:11
  looking
• 6:11
  for,
• 6:11
  a
• 6:11
  woman,"
• 6:12
  or,
• 6:13
  "I'm
• 6:13
  looking
• 6:13
  for
• 6:13
  a
• 6:13
  man,"
• 6:14
  or,
• 6:14
  "I'm
• 6:14
  looking
• 6:14
  for
• 6:14
  a
• 6:14
  lasting
• 6:15
  relationship."
• 6:16
  And
• 6:16
  I'm
• 6:16
  like,
• 6:16
  and
• 6:17
  you're
• 6:17
  looking
• 6:17
  on
• 6:17
  TikTok
• 6:17
  and
• 6:18
  you
• 6:18
  have
• 6:18
  no
• 6:18
  bio.
• 6:21
  I'm
• 6:21
  like,
• 6:21
  so
• 6:21
  there's
• 6:21
  this,
• 6:21
  yes,
• 6:22
  we
• 6:22
  have
• 6:22
  this
• 6:22
  connection,
• 6:23
  but
• 6:23
  at
• 6:23
  the
• 6:23
  same
• 6:24
  time,
• 6:25
  it's
• 6:25
  so
• 6:25
  disconnected.
• 6:26
  Yes.
• 6:26
  That's
• 6:27
  why
• 6:27
  you
• 6:27
  need
• 6:27
  the,
• 6:27
  you
• 6:28
  need
• 6:28
  that
• 6:29
  group.
• 6:29
  You
• 6:29
  need
• 6:29
  that,
• 6:30
  long
• 6:31
  distance,
• 6:31
  but
• 6:31
  there's
• 6:32
  nothing
• 6:32
  like
• 6:33
  sitting
• 6:33
  in
• 6:33
  a
• 6:33
  room
• 6:34
  and
• 6:34
  looking
• 6:34
  at
• 6:34
  someone
• 6:35
  and
• 6:35
  putting
• 6:35
  your
• 6:35
  hand
• 6:35
  on
• 6:36
  someone's
• 6:36
  shoulder
• 6:36
  and
• 6:37
  saying,
• 6:37
  "You
• 6:37
  got
• 6:37
  this."
• 6:38
  Exactly.
• 6:39
  Exactly.
• 6:40
  And
• 6:41
  the
• 6:41
  other
• 6:42
  person
• 6:42
  doesn't
• 6:42
  have
• 6:43
  to
• 6:43
  solve
• 6:43
  our
• 6:44
  problem,
• 6:44
  but
• 6:45
  when
• 6:45
  we
• 6:45
  feel
• 6:45
  listened
• 6:46
  to,
• 6:47
  we
• 6:47
  get
• 6:47
  clarity.
• 6:48
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:48
  And
• 6:49
  it,
• 6:50
  no
• 6:50
  one
• 6:50
  can
• 6:50
  ever
• 6:51
  solve
• 6:51
  your
• 6:52
  problem
• 6:52
  or
• 6:52
  find
• 6:53
  that
• 6:53
  woman
• 6:53
  or
• 6:53
  find
• 6:54
  that
• 6:54
  man.
• 6:55
  That's
• 6:55
  not
• 6:56
  what
• 6:56
  you're
• 6:56
  really
• 6:56
  looking
• 6:57
  for.
• 6:57
  You're
• 6:57
  looking
• 6:58
  for
• 6:58
  yourself.
• 6:59
  And
• 7:00
  when
• 7:00
  we
• 7:00
  connect
• 7:01
  deeply
• 7:01
  with
• 7:01
  ourselves,
• 7:02
  we
• 7:03
  have
• 7:03
  the
• 7:03
  capacity
• 7:03
  to
• 7:04
  connect
• 7:04
  more
• 7:04
  deeply
• 7:05
  with
• 7:05
  other
• 7:05
  people.
• 7:06
  So
• 7:07
  everyone
• 7:07
  knows,
• 7:08
  you
• 7:08
  can't
• 7:08
  just
• 7:09
  put
• 7:09
  in
• 7:09
  your
• 7:09
  order
• 7:10
  and
• 7:10
  there,
• 7:11
  at
• 7:11
  your
• 7:11
  door
• 7:11
  is
• 7:12
  this
• 7:12
  person
• 7:12
  you're
• 7:12
  wildly
• 7:13
  attracted
• 7:14
  to.
• 7:15
  And
• 7:15
  by
• 7:15
  the
• 7:15
  way,
• 7:16
  sometimes
• 7:17
  the
• 7:17
  people
• 7:17
  we
• 7:17
  fall
• 7:18
  in
• 7:18
  love
• 7:18
  with
• 7:19
  are
• 7:19
  not
• 7:19
  people
• 7:20
  that
• 7:20
  have
• 7:21
  those
• 7:22
  qualifications
• 7:23
  that
• 7:23
  we
• 7:23
  think
• 7:24
  we
• 7:24
  need.
• 7:25
  We
• 7:25
  don't
• 7:25
  know
• 7:25
  what
• 7:26
  we
• 7:26
  need
• 7:26
  until
• 7:27
  we
• 7:27
  feel
• 7:28
  truly
• 7:29
  loved,
• 7:29
  and
• 7:29
  then
• 7:30
  we
• 7:30
  realize
• 7:31
  that's
• 7:31
  what
• 7:31
  matters.
• 7:32
  You're
• 7:32
  the
• 7:32
  person.
• 7:34
  That
• 7:34
  mind-body
• 7:35
  connection
• 7:35
  too,
• 7:36
  as
• 7:36
  far
• 7:36
  as
• 7:36
  your
• 7:36
  thinking
• 7:37
  and
• 7:37
  your
• 7:37
  feeling.-
• 7:38
  I
• 7:38
  was
• 7:38
  talking
• 7:39
  to
• 7:39
  someone
• 7:39
  the
• 7:39
  other
• 7:39
  day,
• 7:39
  and
• 7:40
  we
• 7:40
  were
• 7:40
  talking
• 7:40
  about
• 7:40
  that
• 7:40
  connection,
• 7:41
  and
• 7:41
  they
• 7:41
  were
• 7:41
  talking
• 7:41
  about
• 7:41
  affirmations.
• 7:43
  And
• 7:43
  they
• 7:43
  were
• 7:43
  like,
• 7:43
  every
• 7:43
  morning
• 7:44
  I
• 7:44
  get
• 7:44
  up
• 7:44
  and
• 7:44
  I
• 7:44
  write,
• 7:45
  100
• 7:45
  affirmations.
• 7:45
  10
• 7:45
  things
• 7:46
  to
• 7:46
  be
• 7:46
  grateful
• 7:46
  for,
• 7:47
  10
• 7:47
  things
• 7:48
  that
• 7:48
  I
• 7:48
  believe
• 7:48
  about
• 7:48
  myself,
• 7:49
  10
• 7:49
  things
• 7:49
  about
• 7:50
  this."
• 7:50
  And
• 7:50
  I
• 7:50
  said
• 7:50
  to
• 7:50
  her,
• 7:51
  "That's
• 7:51
  great,
• 7:51
  but
• 7:51
  when
• 7:51
  you're
• 7:52
  doing
• 7:52
  this,
• 7:52
  are
• 7:52
  you
• 7:52
  a
• 7:53
  robot?
• 7:53
  Are
• 7:53
  you
• 7:53
  really
• 7:54
  deeply
• 7:54
  into
• 7:55
  that
• 7:55
  feeling?"
• 7:57
  And
• 7:57
  she
• 7:57
  goes,
• 7:57
  "No,
• 7:57
  I
• 7:58
  write
• 7:58
  it.
• 7:58
  I
• 7:58
  just
• 7:58
  write
• 7:58
  it.
• 7:59
  I'm
• 7:59
  like,
• 7:59
  "Okay,
• 7:59
  so
• 7:59
  try
• 8:00
  something
• 8:00
  different."
• 8:00
  Let's
• 8:01
  say
• 8:01
  for
• 8:01
  instance
• 8:01
  you're
• 8:01
  feeling
• 8:02
  unlovable
• 8:02
  right
• 8:03
  now.
• 8:03
  You
• 8:04
  just
• 8:04
  feel
• 8:04
  like
• 8:04
  nobody
• 8:05
  loves
• 8:05
  you.
• 8:06
  Writing
• 8:06
  I
• 8:07
  am
• 8:07
  lovable
• 8:07
  100
• 8:08
  times
• 8:08
  is
• 8:08
  not
• 8:08
  gonna
• 8:08
  help
• 8:09
  unless
• 8:09
  you
• 8:09
  actually
• 8:10
  can
• 8:10
  put
• 8:10
  yourself
• 8:10
  in
• 8:11
  that
• 8:11
  feeling
• 8:11
  of
• 8:11
  being
• 8:12
  loved,
• 8:13
  and
• 8:13
  I
• 8:14
  feel
• 8:14
  like
• 8:14
  that's
• 8:14
  where
• 8:14
  that
• 8:15
  group
• 8:15
  comes
• 8:15
  in.
• 8:15
  I
• 8:15
  tell
• 8:16
  people,
• 8:16
  if
• 8:16
  you
• 8:16
  wanna
• 8:17
  feel
• 8:17
  lovable,
• 8:18
  writing
• 8:19
  I'm
• 8:19
  lovable
• 8:20
  is
• 8:20
  great,
• 8:21
  but
• 8:21
  laying
• 8:21
  down
• 8:22
  on
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  floor
• 8:22
  and
• 8:23
  snuggling
• 8:23
  with
• 8:23
  your
• 8:24
  puppy,
• 8:24
  who
• 8:24
  is
• 8:24
  giving
• 8:25
  you
• 8:25
  unconditional
• 8:26
  love,
• 8:26
  and
• 8:26
  then
• 8:27
  writing
• 8:27
  I
• 8:27
  am
• 8:27
  lovable
• 8:28
  take
• 8:28
  it
• 8:28
  to
• 8:28
  another
• 8:28
  level.
• 8:28
  No,
• 8:28
  that's
• 8:29
  such
• 8:29
  a
• 8:29
  great
• 8:29
  idea,
• 8:30
  Tammy.
• 8:31
  That's
• 8:31
  a
• 8:31
  great
• 8:31
  idea.
• 8:31
  And,
• 8:32
  when
• 8:32
  you
• 8:33
  accompany
• 8:34
  an
• 8:34
  affirmation
• 8:35
  with
• 8:36
  a
• 8:36
  physical
• 8:36
  movement,
• 8:37
  your
• 8:38
  brain
• 8:38
  takes
• 8:39
  it
• 8:39
  in.
• 8:39
  So
• 8:40
  what
• 8:40
  I
• 8:40
  like
• 8:40
  to
• 8:40
  do,
• 8:41
  certainly
• 8:42
  with
• 8:42
  affirmations
• 8:43
  or
• 8:43
  gratitude,
• 8:44
  is,
• 8:44
  do
• 8:44
  a
• 8:45
  big
• 8:45
  victory.
• 8:46
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:47
  It,
• 8:47
  you
• 8:47
  feel
• 8:48
  the
• 8:48
  exhilaration
• 8:49
  from
• 8:49
  your
• 8:49
  body,
• 8:50
  and
• 8:50
  that's
• 8:50
  what
• 8:51
  locks
• 8:51
  it
• 8:51
  in.
• 8:52
  Affirmations
• 8:53
  are
• 8:53
  powerful
• 8:54
  and
• 8:54
  effective,
• 8:55
  and
• 8:56
  for
• 8:56
  the
• 8:56
  simple
• 8:56
  reason
• 8:57
  that
• 8:57
  as
• 8:58
  humans
• 8:58
  we're
• 8:58
  always
• 8:59
  scanning
• 8:59
  for
• 9:00
  danger.
• 9:01
  So
• 9:01
  it's
• 9:02
  a
• 9:02
  negative
• 9:02
  bias,
• 9:03
  but
• 9:03
  it's
• 9:04
  normal.
• 9:05
  The
• 9:05
  way
• 9:05
  to
• 9:06
  soften
• 9:06
  up
• 9:07
  that
• 9:07
  negative
• 9:07
  bias
• 9:08
  is
• 9:08
  to
• 9:09
  speak
• 9:09
  to
• 9:10
  yourself,
• 9:11
  to
• 9:11
  put
• 9:12
  in
• 9:12
  the
• 9:12
  opposite
• 9:13
  of
• 9:13
  that.
• 9:13
  When
• 9:14
  you're
• 9:14
  safe,
• 9:15
  your
• 9:15
  brain
• 9:15
  doesn't
• 9:15
  know
• 9:16
  it
• 9:16
  unless
• 9:16
  you
• 9:16
  tell
• 9:17
  yourself,
• 9:17
  and
• 9:17
  you
• 9:17
  can
• 9:18
  also
• 9:18
  put
• 9:18
  your
• 9:18
  hand
• 9:18
  on
• 9:18
  your
• 9:19
  heart.
• 9:19
  I'm
• 9:19
  safe.
• 9:20
  Yeah.
• 9:20
  I'm
• 9:20
  here.
• 9:21
  I'm
• 9:21
  here
• 9:21
  for
• 9:21
  me.
• 9:23
  Absolutely.
• 9:23
  So
• 9:24
  talk
• 9:24
  about
• 9:25
  social
• 9:25
  media,
• 9:26
  and
• 9:26
  the
• 9:26
  pressures,
• 9:27
  and
• 9:27
  all
• 9:27
  the
• 9:27
  stuff
• 9:27
  going
• 9:28
  on,
• 9:29
  talk
• 9:29
  about
• 9:29
  some
• 9:29
  of
• 9:30
  these
• 9:30
  unrealistic
• 9:31
  narratives
• 9:31
  that
• 9:31
  we
• 9:31
  have,
• 9:32
  and
• 9:32
  how
• 9:33
  that
• 9:33
  kind
• 9:33
  of
• 9:34
  shapes
• 9:35
  how
• 9:36
  we
• 9:36
  communicate
• 9:37
  and
• 9:37
  how
• 9:37
  we
• 9:37
  talk
• 9:37
  to
• 9:37
  each
• 9:38
  other.
• 9:39
  That's
• 9:39
  a
• 9:39
  great
• 9:40
  question,
• 9:40
  and
• 9:40
  I
• 9:41
  think
• 9:41
  one
• 9:41
  of
• 9:41
  the
• 9:41
  problems,
• 9:42
  I
• 9:42
  call
• 9:42
  this
• 9:43
  noise
• 9:44
  the
• 9:44
  cult
• 9:44
  of
• 9:44
  culture,
• 9:46
  that,
• 9:46
  is
• 9:47
  through
• 9:47
  media,
• 9:47
  social
• 9:47
  media,
• 9:48
  advertising,
• 9:49
  political
• 9:50
  stuff,
• 9:51
  all
• 9:51
  kinds
• 9:51
  of
• 9:51
  things,
• 9:52
  that
• 9:54
  have
• 9:54
  a
• 9:54
  message
• 9:55
  in
• 9:55
  a
• 9:55
  consumerist
• 9:56
  society
• 9:57
  to
• 9:57
  buy.
• 9:58
  So
• 9:58
  they
• 9:58
  tell
• 9:58
  us
• 9:59
  we
• 9:59
  have
• 9:59
  BO,
• 10:00
  we
• 10:00
  gotta
• 10:01
  buy
• 10:01
  the
• 10:01
  deodorant.
• 10:02
  They
• 10:03
  tell
• 10:03
  us,
• 10:04
  we're
• 10:04
  nothing
• 10:04
  unless
• 10:05
  we
• 10:05
  have
• 10:06
  this
• 10:06
  designer
• 10:07
  purse,
• 10:08
  so
• 10:09
  we
• 10:09
  go
• 10:09
  into
• 10:09
  debt
• 10:10
  to
• 10:10
  buy
• 10:10
  a
• 10:10
  designer
• 10:11
  purse,
• 10:11
  and
• 10:11
  you
• 10:11
  may
• 10:11
  really
• 10:12
  like
• 10:12
  it,
• 10:12
  but
• 10:12
  how
• 10:12
  long
• 10:13
  does
• 10:13
  that
• 10:13
  last?
• 10:15
  What
• 10:15
  the
• 10:16
  answer
• 10:16
  is
• 10:17
  so
• 10:17
  simple,
• 10:18
  and
• 10:18
  it's
• 10:18
  so
• 10:19
  human,
• 10:19
  and
• 10:19
  it's
• 10:20
  never
• 10:20
  a
• 10:20
  thing.
• 10:21
  It
• 10:21
  is
• 10:22
  the
• 10:22
  experience
• 10:23
  of
• 10:23
  being
• 10:24
  connected
• 10:24
  to
• 10:24
  yourself,
• 10:26
  learning
• 10:26
  to
• 10:26
  accept
• 10:27
  yourself
• 10:27
  more
• 10:28
  and
• 10:28
  more,
• 10:28
  and
• 10:28
  that
• 10:29
  doesn't
• 10:29
  mean
• 10:29
  full
• 10:30
  total
• 10:30
  acceptance.
• 10:31
  We're
• 10:31
  not
• 10:32
  capable
• 10:32
  of
• 10:32
  that.
• 10:33
  You
• 10:34
  can
• 10:34
  go
• 10:34
  for
• 10:34
  it,
• 10:34
  you
• 10:35
  can
• 10:35
  shoot
• 10:35
  for
• 10:35
  it,
• 10:36
  but
• 10:36
  appreciate
• 10:37
  every
• 10:37
  step
• 10:38
  of
• 10:38
  growth,
• 10:39
  and
• 10:40
  don't
• 10:40
  let
• 10:40
  that
• 10:41
  go
• 10:41
  by,
• 10:41
  because
• 10:41
  the
• 10:42
  smallest
• 10:42
  things
• 10:43
  are
• 10:43
  the
• 10:44
  things
• 10:44
  that
• 10:44
  get
• 10:44
  us
• 10:45
  started.
• 10:46
  So
• 10:46
  if
• 10:46
  you
• 10:46
  can
• 10:47
  have
• 10:47
  a
• 10:47
  goal
• 10:47
  of,
• 10:48
  some
• 10:48
  giant
• 10:48
  accomplishment,
• 10:49
  but
• 10:50
  along
• 10:50
  the
• 10:51
  way,
• 10:52
  acknowledge
• 10:53
  the
• 10:53
  wins.
• 10:54
  That
• 10:55
  is
• 10:55
  really
• 10:55
  all
• 10:55
  we
• 10:56
  have,
• 10:56
  and
• 10:56
  chances
• 10:56
  are,
• 10:57
  by
• 10:57
  the
• 10:57
  time
• 10:57
  you
• 10:57
  achieve
• 10:58
  your
• 10:58
  great
• 10:58
  goal,
• 10:59
  you
• 10:59
  have
• 10:59
  another
• 10:59
  but
• 10:59
  it's,
• 10:59
  it
• 11:00
  is
• 11:00
  baby
• 11:00
  steps,
• 11:01
  and
• 11:01
  I
• 11:01
  always
• 11:01
  say
• 11:01
  that.
• 11:02
  There's
• 11:02
  not
• 11:02
  this
• 11:02
  A
• 11:03
  to
• 11:03
  Z
• 11:03
  plan,
• 11:04
  and
• 11:04
  you're
• 11:04
  looking
• 11:04
  at
• 11:04
  the
• 11:04
  Z
• 11:05
  down
• 11:05
  the
• 11:05
  road
• 11:05
  and
• 11:05
  you're
• 11:05
  like,
• 11:06
  "I
• 11:06
  have
• 11:06
  to
• 11:06
  do
• 11:06
  these
• 11:06
  it's
• 11:07
  all
• 11:07
  over-
• 11:07
  the
• 11:07
  place,
• 11:08
  and
• 11:08
  especially
• 11:08
  when
• 11:09
  you've
• 11:09
  been
• 11:09
  through
• 11:09
  those
• 11:09
  kind
• 11:10
  of
• 11:10
  traumas,
• 11:10
  because
• 11:10
  you
• 11:11
  said,
• 11:11
  you're
• 11:11
  scanned
• 11:12
  to
• 11:12
  look
• 11:12
  for
• 11:12
  the
• 11:12
  worst.
• 11:13
  That's
• 11:13
  your,
• 11:14
  that's
• 11:14
  human
• 11:14
  nature.
• 11:15
  That
• 11:15
  is
• 11:15
  to
• 11:15
  protect
• 11:16
  you.
• 11:16
  When
• 11:17
  you
• 11:17
  grew
• 11:17
  up
• 11:17
  in
• 11:17
  those
• 11:18
  dysfunctional
• 11:18
  homes,
• 11:19
  it's
• 11:19
  even
• 11:19
  worse.
• 11:20
  Yeah.
• 11:20
  You
• 11:20
  literally
• 11:21
  lay
• 11:22
  in
• 11:22
  bed,
• 11:22
  and
• 11:22
  you
• 11:22
  can
• 11:23
  have
• 11:23
  a
• 11:23
  positive
• 11:23
  thought,
• 11:24
  but
• 11:24
  it's...
• 11:24
  It's
• 11:25
  I
• 11:25
  was
• 11:25
  talking
• 11:25
  to
• 11:25
  someone
• 11:26
  this
• 11:26
  morning
• 11:26
  who
• 11:26
  said,
• 11:27
  "Why
• 11:27
  is
• 11:27
  it
• 11:27
  that
• 11:27
  when
• 11:28
  things
• 11:28
  are
• 11:28
  good,
• 11:29
  I,
• 11:30
  that's
• 11:30
  when
• 11:30
  I
• 11:30
  get
• 11:31
  my
• 11:31
  anxiety?"
• 11:32
  I'm
• 11:32
  like,
• 11:32
  "Because
• 11:33
  you're
• 11:33
  so
• 11:34
  used
• 11:34
  to
• 11:34
  scanning
• 11:35
  for
• 11:35
  the
• 11:35
  negative,
• 11:36
  when
• 11:36
  things
• 11:36
  are
• 11:36
  good,
• 11:37
  you
• 11:37
  panic."
• 11:37
  "What's
• 11:38
  gonna
• 11:38
  happen?
• 11:38
  What
• 11:38
  is
• 11:39
  my
• 11:39
  brain-"
• 11:39
  Exactly.
• 11:40
  It's
• 11:40
  a
• 11:40
  very
• 11:40
  uncomfortable
• 11:41
  feeling
• 11:41
  for
• 11:41
  some
• 11:42
  people,
• 11:42
  but
• 11:42
  that's
• 11:43
  where,
• 11:43
  the
• 11:43
  writing,
• 11:44
  that's
• 11:44
  where,
• 11:45
  just
• 11:45
  ask
• 11:45
  yourself
• 11:46
  a
• 11:46
  question.
• 11:47
  And
• 11:47
  with
• 11:47
  the
• 11:47
  little
• 11:48
  baby
• 11:48
  steps,
• 11:48
  I
• 11:48
  tell
• 11:49
  people,
• 11:49
  "If
• 11:49
  you
• 11:49
  don't
• 11:49
  know
• 11:49
  what
• 11:49
  to
• 11:49
  journal,
• 11:50
  you
• 11:50
  don't
• 11:50
  know
• 11:50
  what
• 11:50
  to
• 11:50
  write..."
• 11:51
  You're
• 11:51
  giving
• 11:51
  them
• 11:51
  prompts,
• 11:52
  so
• 11:52
  this
• 11:52
  is
• 11:52
  amazing
• 11:53
  that
• 11:53
  you
• 11:53
  give
• 11:53
  them
• 11:53
  the
• 11:53
  prompts,
• 11:55
  but
• 11:55
  I
• 11:55
  always
• 11:55
  just
• 11:55
  say,
• 11:56
  "Ask
• 11:56
  yourself
• 11:56
  what's
• 11:56
  something
• 11:57
  that
• 11:57
  would
• 11:57
  make
• 11:57
  me
• 11:57
  feel
• 11:58
  1%
• 11:58
  better
• 11:58
  right
• 11:59
  now?"
• 12:00
  Not
• 12:00
  100%
• 12:00
  better,
• 12:01
  1%
• 12:02
  better.
• 12:05
  I
• 12:05
  think
• 12:05
  when
• 12:05
  you
• 12:05
  go
• 12:06
  deep,
• 12:07
  you
• 12:07
  can
• 12:07
  ask
• 12:07
  yourself
• 12:08
  any
• 12:09
  question.
• 12:10
  You
• 12:10
  can
• 12:10
  even
• 12:11
  ask
• 12:11
  yourself,
• 12:12
  what
• 12:12
  do
• 12:13
  I
• 12:13
  need
• 12:13
  right
• 12:14
  now?
• 12:14
  What
• 12:14
  do
• 12:14
  I
• 12:14
  want?
• 12:15
  What
• 12:15
  do
• 12:15
  I
• 12:15
  feel
• 12:15
  like
• 12:15
  eating?"
• 12:16
  And
• 12:16
  let's
• 12:17
  say
• 12:17
  what
• 12:17
  you
• 12:17
  feeling,
• 12:18
  what
• 12:18
  you
• 12:18
  feel
• 12:18
  like
• 12:19
  eating
• 12:19
  is
• 12:19
  out
• 12:19
  of
• 12:19
  reach
• 12:20
  and
• 12:20
  out
• 12:20
  of
• 12:20
  your
• 12:20
  purse.
• 12:22
  So
• 12:22
  what?
• 12:23
  Don't
• 12:23
  limit
• 12:24
  your
• 12:24
  dream.
• 12:25
  You
• 12:25
  want
• 12:25
  lobster?
• 12:26
  Dream
• 12:26
  for
• 12:26
  lobster,
• 12:27
  and
• 12:27
  then
• 12:28
  see
• 12:28
  how
• 12:28
  close
• 12:29
  you
• 12:29
  can
• 12:29
  get.
• 12:30
  Fried
• 12:30
  shrimp?
• 12:31
  Frozen?
• 12:32
  Okay,
• 12:32
  I'll
• 12:32
  have
• 12:33
  it.
• 12:33
  But
• 12:33
  rather
• 12:34
  than
• 12:35
  limiting
• 12:36
  your
• 12:36
  imagination,
• 12:37
  don't
• 12:38
  be
• 12:38
  afraid
• 12:39
  if
• 12:39
  your
• 12:39
  imagination
• 12:40
  exceeds
• 12:41
  what
• 12:42
  is
• 12:42
  possible
• 12:42
  in
• 12:43
  this
• 12:43
  moment.
• 12:44
  That
• 12:44
  is
• 12:45
  just
• 12:46
  as
• 12:46
  important
• 12:47
  as
• 12:47
  finding
• 12:48
  a
• 12:48
  way
• 12:49
  to
• 12:49
  tolerate
• 12:50
  life's
• 12:50
  ambivalence.
• 12:51
  We're
• 12:52
  never
• 12:52
  gonna
• 12:52
  have
• 12:53
  a
• 12:53
  good
• 12:53
  day
• 12:54
  that
• 12:54
  lasts
• 12:54
  forever,
• 12:55
  and
• 12:55
  we're
• 12:55
  never
• 12:55
  gonna
• 12:55
  have
• 12:55
  a
• 12:55
  bad
• 12:56
  day
• 12:56
  that
• 12:56
  lasts
• 12:56
  forever.
• 12:57
  But
• 12:58
  when
• 12:58
  you
• 12:58
  can
• 12:58
  anticipate
• 12:59
  that
• 13:00
  sometimes
• 13:00
  bad
• 13:01
  things
• 13:01
  happen,
• 13:02
  for
• 13:02
  me,
• 13:03
  every
• 13:03
  time
• 13:03
  a
• 13:03
  bad
• 13:03
  thing
• 13:04
  has
• 13:04
  happens,
• 13:04
  I'm
• 13:05
  like,
• 13:05
  "Thank
• 13:05
  you,
• 13:06
  God,
• 13:06
  that
• 13:06
  it's
• 13:06
  not
• 13:06
  could
• 13:07
  always
• 13:07
  be
• 13:07
  worse.
• 13:08
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:08
  But
• 13:09
  when
• 13:09
  you
• 13:09
  don't,
• 13:09
  as
• 13:10
  you're
• 13:10
  saying,
• 13:10
  I
• 13:10
  came
• 13:11
  from
• 13:11
  a
• 13:11
  violent
• 13:12
  home
• 13:12
  as
• 13:12
  well,
• 13:12
  and
• 13:13
  when
• 13:13
  you
• 13:13
  don't
• 13:13
  have
• 13:14
  a
• 13:14
  baseline
• 13:15
  of
• 13:15
  safety,
• 13:17
  and
• 13:17
  all
• 13:17
  you
• 13:18
  have
• 13:18
  are
• 13:19
  the
• 13:19
  brilliant
• 13:20
  ideas
• 13:21
  that
• 13:21
  the
• 13:21
  child
• 13:21
  you
• 13:22
  came
• 13:22
  up
• 13:22
  with,
• 13:23
  they
• 13:24
  helped
• 13:24
  you
• 13:24
  survive.
• 13:25
  But
• 13:26
  now
• 13:26
  as
• 13:26
  an
• 13:26
  adult,
• 13:27
  I
• 13:27
  don't
• 13:27
  have
• 13:27
  to
• 13:27
  tell
• 13:27
  you
• 13:28
  this,
• 13:28
  but-
• 13:28
  Never
• 13:28
  have
• 13:29
  now
• 13:29
  as
• 13:29
  an
• 13:29
  adult,
• 13:30
  you
• 13:30
  have
• 13:30
  to
• 13:30
  upgrade
• 13:31
  your
• 13:32
  techniques
• 13:33
  because,
• 13:34
  it's
• 13:35
  not
• 13:36
  or
• 13:36
  hiding
• 13:37
  because
• 13:38
  you
• 13:38
  don't
• 13:38
  think
• 13:39
  anybody
• 13:39
  is
• 13:39
  safe,
• 13:40
  things
• 13:41
  like
• 13:41
  that
• 13:41
  aren't
• 13:41
  really
• 13:42
  going
• 13:42
  to
• 13:42
  serve
• 13:43
  you.
• 13:43
  But
• 13:43
  small
• 13:44
  steps,
• 13:45
  small
• 13:46
  risks
• 13:46
  that
• 13:47
  you
• 13:47
  believe
• 13:48
  have
• 13:48
  some
• 13:49
  potential
• 13:49
  of
• 13:50
  that
• 13:50
  really
• 13:51
  does
• 13:51
  help
• 13:52
  And
• 13:52
  also
• 13:53
  just
• 13:53
  being
• 13:53
  in
• 13:53
  the
• 13:54
  feeling
• 13:54
  of
• 13:55
  I
• 13:55
  can
• 13:55
  feel
• 13:55
  this
• 13:55
  bad
• 13:56
  feeling
• 13:56
  and
• 13:56
  still
• 13:57
  feel
• 13:57
  the
• 13:57
  good
• 13:58
  at
• 13:58
  the
• 13:58
  same
• 13:58
  time.
• 13:59
  Yes.
• 14:00
  I
• 14:00
  had
• 14:00
  a
• 14:00
  guy
• 14:01
  on
• 14:01
  my
• 14:01
  podcast
• 14:01
  not
• 14:02
  too
• 14:02
  long
• 14:02
  ago,
• 14:02
  and
• 14:02
  he
• 14:02
  gifts
• 14:03
  or
• 14:03
  something
• 14:03
  like
• 14:04
  that.
• 14:04
  It's
• 14:04
  Interesting
• 14:04
  I
• 14:04
  can
• 14:04
  hold
• 14:05
  this
• 14:05
  bad
• 14:05
  situation,
• 14:06
  but
• 14:06
  still
• 14:07
  see
• 14:07
  the
• 14:07
  positive
• 14:08
  out
• 14:08
  of
• 14:08
  it,
• 14:09
  and
• 14:09
  what
• 14:09
  I'm
• 14:10
  growing
• 14:10
  from,
• 14:10
  what
• 14:10
  I'm
• 14:11
  learning
• 14:11
  from,
• 14:11
  what
• 14:11
  I'm
• 14:11
  taking
• 14:12
  from
• 14:12
  these
• 14:12
  bad
• 14:13
  situations,
• 14:14
  and
• 14:15
  the
• 14:15
  fact
• 14:15
  that
• 14:15
  you
• 14:15
  just
• 14:15
  survived
• 14:16
  them.
• 14:16
  If
• 14:16
  you-
• 14:16
  Exactly
• 14:17
  survive
• 14:17
  it,
• 14:17
  you're
• 14:17
  safe,
• 14:18
  and
• 14:18
  that
• 14:18
  makes
• 14:18
  your...
• 14:19
  I
• 14:19
  call
• 14:19
  it
• 14:19
  my
• 14:19
  safety
• 14:20
  bubble.
• 14:20
  It's
• 14:20
  come
• 14:20
  out
• 14:20
  of
• 14:21
  those
• 14:21
  abusive
• 14:22
  childhoods
• 14:23
  or
• 14:23
  whatever,
• 14:23
  any
• 14:24
  kind
• 14:24
  of
• 14:24
  dysfunction.
• 14:25
  Yeah.
• 14:25
  But
• 14:25
  the
• 14:25
  more
• 14:26
  you
• 14:26
  can
• 14:26
  convince
• 14:27
  yourself,
• 14:27
  and
• 14:27
  the
• 14:27
  more
• 14:28
  that
• 14:28
  you
• 14:28
  can
• 14:28
  make
• 14:28
  your
• 14:29
  body,
• 14:29
  and
• 14:29
  you
• 14:29
  have
• 14:29
  to
• 14:29
  feel
• 14:30
  safe,
• 14:30
  not
• 14:30
  just
• 14:31
  think
• 14:31
  safe.
• 14:32
  You
• 14:32
  have
• 14:32
  to
• 14:32
  feel.
• 14:33
  But...
• 14:34
  And
• 14:35
  I
• 14:35
  love
• 14:35
  that
• 14:35
  you
• 14:35
  bring
• 14:35
  it
• 14:35
  into
• 14:36
  the
• 14:36
  writing.
• 14:36
  I
• 14:37
  I
• 14:37
  absolutely
• 14:37
  love
• 14:38
  that.
• 14:38
  Because
• 14:38
  so
• 14:38
  many
• 14:39
  people,
• 14:39
  I
• 14:39
  think,
• 14:39
  are
• 14:39
  afraid.
• 14:40
  You
• 14:40
  said,
• 14:40
  they're
• 14:41
  afraid
• 14:41
  to
• 14:41
  just
• 14:41
  put
• 14:41
  it
• 14:42
  down.
• 14:42
  It
• 14:42
  has
• 14:42
  to
• 14:42
  be
• 14:42
  perfect.
• 14:43
  It
• 14:43
  has
• 14:43
  to
• 14:43
  be
• 14:43
  whatever.
• 14:44
  I
• 14:44
  tell
• 14:44
  people,
• 14:45
  just
• 14:45
  when
• 14:45
  you
• 14:45
  first
• 14:46
  start,
• 14:46
  just
• 14:46
  word
• 14:47
  vomit.
• 14:48
  Don't
• 14:48
  edit,
• 14:49
  about
• 14:49
  it.
• 14:49
  When
• 14:49
  I
• 14:50
  went
• 14:50
  through,
• 14:50
  inner
• 14:50
  child
• 14:51
  work,
• 14:51
  a
• 14:51
  lot
• 14:51
  of
• 14:52
  it,
• 14:52
  and
• 14:52
  we
• 14:52
  used
• 14:52
  to
• 14:52
  write
• 14:53
  letters
• 14:53
  back
• 14:53
  and
• 14:53
  forth
• 14:53
  to
• 14:54
  our
• 14:54
  younger
• 14:54
  selves,
• 14:55
  I
• 14:55
  would
• 14:55
  do
• 14:55
  it
• 14:55
  with
• 14:55
  my
• 14:55
  opposite
• 14:56
  hand
• 14:58
  Brilliant,
• 14:58
  yeah
• 14:59
  it,
• 14:59
  they've
• 14:59
  told,
• 15:00
  and
• 15:00
  the
• 15:00
  reason
• 15:00
  I
• 15:00
  remember
• 15:01
  they
• 15:01
  always
• 15:01
  telling
• 15:01
  me
• 15:02
  is
• 15:02
  that
• 15:02
  it
• 15:02
  bounces
• 15:02
  back
• 15:03
  and
• 15:03
  forth
• 15:03
  between
• 15:03
  your
• 15:03
  sides
• 15:04
  of
• 15:04
  the
• 15:04
  brain
• 15:04
  and
• 15:04
  everything
• 15:05
  else,
• 15:06
  and
• 15:06
  I
• 15:06
  had
• 15:06
  a
• 15:06
  different
• 15:07
  theory
• 15:07
  on
• 15:07
  it
• 15:07
  when
• 15:08
  I
• 15:08
  became
• 15:08
  older,
• 15:08
  obviously.
• 15:09
  But
• 15:10
  I
• 15:10
  feel
• 15:10
  like
• 15:11
  it
• 15:11
  took
• 15:11
  the
• 15:11
  ego
• 15:12
  out
• 15:12
  of
• 15:12
  it.
• 15:12
  I
• 15:12
  was
• 15:12
  so
• 15:13
  focused
• 15:13
  on
• 15:13
  concentrating
• 15:14
  on
• 15:14
  the
• 15:14
  letters,
• 15:15
  I
• 15:15
  wasn't
• 15:15
  really
• 15:16
  even
• 15:16
  thinking
• 15:16
  about
• 15:16
  what
• 15:16
  I
• 15:16
  was
• 15:17
  writing.
• 15:17
  So
• 15:17
  I
• 15:18
  was
• 15:18
  writing
• 15:18
  from-
• 15:18
  Oh,
• 15:19
  wow
• 15:19
  I
• 15:19
  was
• 15:19
  writing
• 15:19
  from
• 15:20
  my
• 15:20
  subconscious.
• 15:21
  I
• 15:21
  was
• 15:21
  just
• 15:21
  writing,
• 15:22
  but
• 15:22
  I
• 15:22
  was
• 15:22
  more
• 15:22
  focused
• 15:23
  on
• 15:23
  the
• 15:23
  actual
• 15:23
  letter,
• 15:24
  if
• 15:24
  that
• 15:24
  makes
• 15:24
  sense.
• 15:25
  Of
• 15:25
  course.
• 15:26
  But
• 15:27
  I
• 15:27
  would
• 15:27
  go
• 15:27
  back
• 15:27
  after
• 15:28
  and
• 15:28
  read
• 15:28
  it
• 15:28
  and
• 15:28
  be
• 15:28
  like,
• 15:29
  "Oh,
• 15:29
  crap."
• 15:29
  I
• 15:30
  was
• 15:30
  amazed
• 15:30
  at
• 15:30
  what
• 15:30
  I
• 15:31
  wrote,
• 15:31
  and
• 15:31
  I
• 15:31
  didn't
• 15:31
  judge
• 15:32
  it,
• 15:32
  and
• 15:32
  there
• 15:32
  wasn't...
• 15:33
  And
• 15:33
  that's,
• 15:33
  I
• 15:34
  think
• 15:34
  that's
• 15:34
  the
• 15:34
  big
• 15:34
  thing.
• 15:35
  Don't
• 15:35
  worry,
• 15:35
  just
• 15:36
  write.
• 15:37
  And
• 15:37
  just
• 15:37
  know
• 15:38
  it's
• 15:38
  not
• 15:39
  only
• 15:39
  you.
• 15:40
  We
• 15:40
  all
• 15:40
  struggle
• 15:41
  with
• 15:41
  that,
• 15:42
  and
• 15:42
  there
• 15:43
  are
• 15:43
  very
• 15:43
  good
• 15:43
  reasons
• 15:44
  for
• 15:44
  it.
• 15:44
  And
• 15:44
  when
• 15:45
  we
• 15:45
  have
• 15:45
  fear,
• 15:45
  it's
• 15:46
  always
• 15:46
  for
• 15:46
  a
• 15:46
  good
• 15:47
  reason,
• 15:47
  even
• 15:48
  if
• 15:48
  it's
• 15:48
  miscalculated.
• 15:50
  So
• 15:50
  why
• 15:51
  are
• 15:51
  we
• 15:51
  afraid
• 15:52
  to
• 15:52
  write?
• 15:52
  Because
• 15:53
  we've
• 15:53
  all
• 15:53
  been
• 15:54
  made
• 15:54
  fun
• 15:54
  of.
• 15:55
  We've,
• 15:55
  some
• 15:56
  people
• 15:56
  have
• 15:56
  had,
• 15:56
  the
• 15:56
  teacher,
• 15:57
  "This
• 15:57
  is
• 15:58
  what
• 15:58
  so
• 15:58
  and
• 15:58
  so
• 15:59
  did
• 15:59
  wrong."
• 16:00
  We're
• 16:00
  told
• 16:01
  that
• 16:01
  there's
• 16:01
  a
• 16:01
  right
• 16:02
  way
• 16:02
  and
• 16:02
  a
• 16:02
  wrong
• 16:03
  way,
• 16:03
  and
• 16:03
  when
• 16:04
  it
• 16:04
  comes
• 16:04
  to
• 16:04
  expressing
• 16:05
  ourselves,
• 16:06
  there's
• 16:06
  no
• 16:07
  way
• 16:07
  but
• 16:07
  our
• 16:07
  way.
• 16:08
  And
• 16:09
  when
• 16:09
  we
• 16:10
  just
• 16:10
  work
• 16:11
  with
• 16:11
  ourselves
• 16:12
  over
• 16:12
  time,
• 16:14
  it
• 16:14
  takes
• 16:14
  time.
• 16:15
  Then
• 16:16
  you
• 16:16
  eventually
• 16:16
  discover
• 16:17
  your
• 16:17
  own
• 16:18
  voice.
• 16:18
  And
• 16:19
  again,
• 16:19
  it's
• 16:20
  not
• 16:20
  about
• 16:20
  perfect
• 16:21
  writing.
• 16:21
  It's
• 16:22
  just
• 16:22
  about
• 16:23
  expressing
• 16:23
  yourself.
• 16:25
  Just
• 16:25
  write
• 16:25
  it,
• 16:26
  like
• 16:26
  you
• 16:26
  said,
• 16:26
  vomit
• 16:27
  it.
• 16:28
  Later
• 16:28
  on,
• 16:28
  you
• 16:28
  wanna
• 16:28
  go
• 16:28
  back
• 16:29
  and
• 16:29
  edit
• 16:29
  it,
• 16:30
  you
• 16:30
  can
• 16:30
  do
• 16:30
  that.
• 16:31
  Or
• 16:31
  later
• 16:32
  on
• 16:32
  you
• 16:32
  may
• 16:32
  go
• 16:32
  back
• 16:33
  and
• 16:33
  correct
• 16:34
  it
• 16:34
  because,
• 16:34
  "No,
• 16:35
  that's
• 16:35
  not
• 16:35
  really
• 16:36
  what
• 16:36
  I
• 16:36
  just
• 16:36
  such
• 16:36
  a
• 16:36
  great
• 16:37
  way
• 16:37
  to
• 16:37
  get
• 16:37
  clarity
• 16:38
  on
• 16:38
  things
• 16:39
  that
• 16:39
  are
• 16:39
  important.
• 16:40
  So
• 16:40
  you
• 16:41
  do
• 16:41
  a
• 16:41
  lot
• 16:41
  of,
• 16:41
  structured
• 16:42
  storytelling
• 16:43
  with
• 16:43
  your
• 16:43
  people
• 16:43
  though.
• 16:44
  Is
• 16:44
  that
• 16:44
  what
• 16:44
  you're
• 16:45
  teaching
• 16:45
  them,
• 16:45
  is
• 16:45
  how
• 16:46
  to
• 16:46
  actually
• 16:46
  come
• 16:46
  up
• 16:47
  with,
• 16:47
  structured
• 16:48
  and
• 16:48
  organized,
• 16:49
  or
• 16:49
  you
• 16:49
  do
• 16:49
  more
• 16:49
  of
• 16:50
  the...
• 16:50
  Are
• 16:50
  your
• 16:50
  groups
• 16:51
  more
• 16:51
  of
• 16:51
  just
• 16:51
  the
• 16:51
  free
• 16:52
  flowing,
• 16:52
  vomiting,
• 16:53
  word
• 16:53
  vomit?
• 16:54
  It's,
• 16:54
  yes,
• 16:55
  it's,
• 16:55
  what
• 16:56
  happens
• 16:56
  is,
• 16:57
  the
• 16:57
  narrative
• 16:58
  method
• 16:58
  has
• 16:58
  12
• 16:59
  core
• 16:59
  concepts,
• 17:00
  and
• 17:00
  we
• 17:00
  cycle
• 17:00
  through
• 17:01
  them
• 17:01
  each
• 17:01
  week,
• 17:02
  so
• 17:02
  one
• 17:02
  per
• 17:03
  week.
• 17:03
  So
• 17:05
  I'll
• 17:05
  first
• 17:05
  show
• 17:06
  the
• 17:06
  concept
• 17:06
  of
• 17:06
  the
• 17:07
  week.
• 17:07
  We
• 17:08
  were
• 17:08
  talking
• 17:08
  about
• 17:08
  gratitude.
• 17:09
  One
• 17:09
  is
• 17:09
  actually
• 17:10
  radical
• 17:10
  gratitude,
• 17:11
  and
• 17:12
  radical
• 17:12
  gratitude,
• 17:13
  I'll
• 17:13
  tell
• 17:13
  you
• 17:13
  about
• 17:14
  in
• 17:14
  a
• 17:14
  second,
• 17:14
  but
• 17:14
  let
• 17:14
  me
• 17:14
  tell
• 17:15
  you
• 17:15
  about
• 17:15
  the
• 17:15
  structure.
• 17:16
  So
• 17:17
  we
• 17:17
  put
• 17:17
  up
• 17:17
  the
• 17:17
  concept
• 17:18
  of
• 17:18
  the
• 17:18
  week,
• 17:19
  and
• 17:19
  then
• 17:19
  there's
• 17:19
  a
• 17:19
  photo,
• 17:20
  some
• 17:20
  compelling
• 17:21
  and
• 17:21
  then
• 17:22
  there's
• 17:22
  a
• 17:22
  prompt
• 17:23
  based
• 17:23
  on
• 17:23
  that
• 17:23
  photo.
• 17:24
  So
• 17:24
  they
• 17:24
  get
• 17:25
  to
• 17:25
  write
• 17:25
  for
• 17:25
  seven
• 17:26
  minutes
• 17:26
  in
• 17:27
  any
• 17:27
  style,
• 17:28
  you
• 17:29
  could
• 17:29
  write
• 17:29
  a
• 17:29
  laundry
• 17:29
  list.
• 17:30
  I
• 17:30
  don't
• 17:30
  care.
• 17:31
  Write
• 17:32
  whatever
• 17:32
  comes
• 17:33
  up.
• 17:34
  And
• 17:34
  after
• 17:35
  those
• 17:35
  seven
• 17:36
  minutes,
• 17:36
  you
• 17:36
  get
• 17:36
  a
• 17:36
  second
• 17:37
  prompt
• 17:37
  to
• 17:38
  weave
• 17:38
  in,
• 17:39
  finish
• 17:39
  your
• 17:39
  piece,
• 17:40
  and
• 17:40
  then
• 17:40
  we
• 17:40
  go
• 17:40
  into
• 17:41
  small
• 17:41
  breakouts
• 17:42
  of
• 17:42
  about
• 17:42
  four
• 17:42
  people.
• 17:43
  Everyone
• 17:44
  shares.
• 17:44
  Everyone
• 17:45
  else
• 17:45
  is
• 17:45
  just
• 17:46
  a
• 17:46
  witness.
• 17:47
  And
• 17:47
  then
• 17:47
  they
• 17:48
  can
• 17:48
  have
• 17:48
  a
• 17:48
  conversation
• 17:49
  afterwards.
• 17:50
  So
• 17:51
  it's
• 17:51
  very
• 17:51
  connective.
• 17:52
  We
• 17:52
  do
• 17:52
  other,
• 17:53
  breakout
• 17:54
  groups
• 17:54
  and
• 17:55
  other
• 17:55
  activities
• 17:56
  within
• 17:56
  this
• 17:57
  very
• 17:57
  tight
• 17:58
  hour,
• 17:58
  and
• 17:58
  of
• 17:58
  course,
• 17:59
  people
• 17:59
  get
• 17:59
  to
• 17:59
  share
• 18:00
  their
• 18:01
  thoughts
• 18:01
  about
• 18:01
  the
• 18:01
  experience
• 18:02
  or
• 18:02
  their
• 18:03
  writing
• 18:03
  or
• 18:03
  what's
• 18:04
  happening
• 18:04
  with
• 18:04
  them.
• 18:06
  So
• 18:06
  the
• 18:07
  concept
• 18:07
  of
• 18:07
  radical
• 18:08
  gratitude
• 18:09
  came
• 18:09
  about
• 18:09
  many
• 18:10
  years
• 18:10
  ago.
• 18:11
  My
• 18:11
  baby
• 18:12
  and
• 18:12
  I
• 18:12
  were
• 18:12
  sitting
• 18:13
  on
• 18:14
  the
• 18:14
  second
• 18:14
  floor
• 18:15
  having
• 18:15
  a
• 18:15
  conversation
• 18:16
  with
• 18:16
  someone,
• 18:16
  and
• 18:16
  there
• 18:17
  was
• 18:17
  this
• 18:17
  teeny
• 18:17
  little
• 18:18
  open
• 18:18
  window.
• 18:19
  And
• 18:20
  my
• 18:20
  baby
• 18:20
  was...
• 18:21
  That
• 18:21
  was
• 18:21
  the
• 18:21
  window,
• 18:22
  and
• 18:22
  I
• 18:22
  had
• 18:23
  my
• 18:23
  arm
• 18:23
  around
• 18:23
  him.
• 18:24
  And
• 18:25
  in
• 18:26
  a
• 18:26
  split
• 18:26
  second,
• 18:27
  he
• 18:27
  was
• 18:27
  somehow,
• 18:28
  45
• 18:29
  degrees
• 18:29
  out
• 18:29
  that
• 18:30
  window,
• 18:31
  and
• 18:31
  I
• 18:31
  just
• 18:32
  went
• 18:32
  like
• 18:32
  that.
• 18:33
  He
• 18:33
  didn't
• 18:34
  know.
• 18:34
  My
• 18:35
  friend
• 18:35
  didn't
• 18:35
  know.
• 18:36
  I
• 18:36
  could
• 18:36
  have
• 18:37
  just
• 18:37
  gone
• 18:37
  on.
• 18:38
  But
• 18:39
  something
• 18:40
  stopped
• 18:40
  for
• 18:40
  me,
• 18:40
  and
• 18:41
  it
• 18:41
  was
• 18:41
  one
• 18:41
  of
• 18:41
  those
• 18:41
  aha
• 18:42
  moments,
• 18:42
  and
• 18:43
  I
• 18:43
  thought,
• 18:43
  "Oh,
• 18:43
  my
• 18:44
  God,
• 18:45
  if
• 18:45
  anything
• 18:46
  had
• 18:46
  happened,
• 18:48
  what
• 18:48
  would
• 18:48
  have
• 18:48
  happened
• 18:49
  to
• 18:49
  me?"
• 18:50
  I'd
• 18:50
  be
• 18:50
  banging
• 18:50
  on
• 18:51
  the
• 18:51
  ground,
• 18:51
  making
• 18:52
  deals
• 18:52
  with
• 18:52
  God.
• 18:53
  My
• 18:53
  life
• 18:54
  would
• 18:54
  be
• 18:54
  ruined,
• 18:54
  my
• 18:55
  husband's
• 18:55
  life,
• 18:55
  all
• 18:56
  of
• 18:56
  the
• 18:56
  things
• 18:56
  that
• 18:57
  would
• 18:57
  have
• 18:57
  happened.
• 18:59
  So
• 18:59
  why
• 19:00
  would
• 19:00
  I
• 19:00
  let
• 19:01
  a
• 19:01
  close
• 19:02
  call
• 19:03
  go
• 19:03
  unnoticed
• 19:04
  as
• 19:04
  a
• 19:04
  gift,
• 19:05
  as
• 19:06
  the
• 19:06
  greatest
• 19:06
  gift
• 19:07
  in
• 19:07
  this
• 19:07
  case?
• 19:08
  And
• 19:08
  since
• 19:09
  then,
• 19:09
  31
• 19:10
  years
• 19:10
  ago,
• 19:11
  every
• 19:12
  time
• 19:12
  I
• 19:12
  survive
• 19:13
  a
• 19:13
  close
• 19:13
  call,
• 19:13
  whether
• 19:14
  it's
• 19:14
  almost
• 19:14
  getting
• 19:15
  hit
• 19:15
  by
• 19:15
  a
• 19:15
  car
• 19:16
  or
• 19:16
  almost
• 19:16
  getting
• 19:17
  knocked
• 19:17
  with-
• 19:17
  when
• 19:18
  something
• 19:18
  falls,
• 19:19
  whatever
• 19:19
  that
• 19:19
  is,
• 19:20
  I
• 19:20
  jump
• 19:20
  up
• 19:20
  and
• 19:21
  down
• 19:21
  because
• 19:21
  your
• 19:21
  body
• 19:22
  movements
• 19:22
  help
• 19:23
  you
• 19:23
  remember,
• 19:24
  and
• 19:24
  I
• 19:24
  just
• 19:24
  say
• 19:25
  thank
• 19:25
  you.
• 19:25
  Just
• 19:26
  say
• 19:26
  thank
• 19:26
  you
• 19:26
  to
• 19:26
  whomever
• 19:27
  you
• 19:27
  thank.
• 19:28
  And
• 19:28
  realize
• 19:30
  the
• 19:30
  more
• 19:31
  you
• 19:31
  do
• 19:31
  this,
• 19:32
  the
• 19:32
  more
• 19:33
  you
• 19:33
  see
• 19:34
  how
• 19:34
  lucky
• 19:34
  you
• 19:34
  are.
• 19:35
  We
• 19:35
  all
• 19:35
  think
• 19:35
  we're
• 19:36
  unlucky
• 19:36
  because
• 19:37
  of
• 19:37
  this
• 19:37
  and
• 19:37
  that,
• 19:38
  especially
• 19:38
  if
• 19:38
  we
• 19:39
  grew
• 19:39
  up
• 19:39
  in
• 19:40
  a
• 19:40
  unloving
• 19:41
  environment.
• 19:42
  But
• 19:43
  the
• 19:43
  truth
• 19:43
  is
• 19:44
  you
• 19:44
  survived
• 19:44
  that.
• 19:45
  You
• 19:46
  survived
• 19:46
  this
• 19:46
  day
• 19:47
  to
• 19:47
  find
• 19:47
  Tammy.
• 19:48
  And
• 19:49
  we
• 19:49
  have
• 19:50
  the
• 19:50
  capacity
• 19:51
  to
• 19:51
  stay
• 19:52
  ultra
• 19:53
  aware
• 19:53
  of
• 19:54
  the
• 19:54
  positive
• 19:55
  things
• 19:55
  that
• 19:55
  happen,
• 19:56
  and
• 19:56
  I
• 19:56
  believe
• 19:57
  that's
• 19:57
  through
• 19:57
  radical
• 19:58
  gratitude.
• 19:59
  I
• 19:59
  love
• 20:00
  that
• 20:00
  concept,
• 20:00
  I
• 20:01
  try
• 20:01
  to
• 20:01
  use
• 20:01
  it
• 20:01
  every
• 20:01
  day.
• 20:02
  I
• 20:02
  know
• 20:02
  when
• 20:02
  talk
• 20:02
  about
• 20:03
  people
• 20:03
  when
• 20:03
  they
• 20:03
  talk
• 20:03
  about
• 20:03
  and
• 20:04
  I'll
• 20:04
  be
• 20:04
  sitting
• 20:04
  there
• 20:04
  and,
• 20:05
  the
• 20:05
  people
• 20:05
  in
• 20:05
  the
• 20:05
  car
• 20:05
  with
• 20:06
  me
• 20:06
  will
• 20:06
  be
• 20:06
  like,
• 20:06
  "Oh,
• 20:06
  my
• 20:06
  God,
• 20:06
  he
• 20:07
  cut
• 20:07
  me
• 20:07
  off,"
• 20:07
  and
• 20:07
  blah,
• 20:08
  blah,
• 20:08
  blah,
• 20:08
  blah,
• 20:08
  blah,
• 20:08
  blah.
• 20:08
  And
• 20:09
  I
• 20:09
  always
• 20:09
  think,
• 20:09
  what's
• 20:10
  going
• 20:10
  through
• 20:10
  my
• 20:10
  head?
• 20:10
  One
• 20:11
  time
• 20:11
  I
• 20:11
  said
• 20:11
  to
• 20:11
  my...
• 20:11
  I
• 20:11
  was
• 20:12
  like,
• 20:12
  "What
• 20:12
  am
• 20:12
  I
• 20:12
  thinking
• 20:12
  about?"
• 20:13
  And
• 20:13
  I
• 20:13
  was
• 20:13
  I
• 20:13
  was
• 20:13
  literally
• 20:14
  sitting
• 20:14
  there
• 20:14
  being,
• 20:15
  and
• 20:15
  just
• 20:15
  thanking
• 20:16
  whoever
• 20:17
  that
• 20:17
  I
• 20:18
  didn't
• 20:18
  have
• 20:18
  to
• 20:18
  be
• 20:18
  in
• 20:19
  such
• 20:19
  a
• 20:19
  hurry,
• 20:19
  that
• 20:19
  my
• 20:19
  lifestyle
• 20:20
  afforded
• 20:21
  me
• 20:21
  the
• 20:21
  luxury
• 20:22
  of
• 20:22
  not
• 20:22
  having
• 20:22
  to
• 20:22
  cut
• 20:23
  people
• 20:23
  off.
• 20:23
  I
• 20:23
  was
• 20:24
  just
• 20:24
  like,
• 20:24
  "Heh."
• 20:25
  And
• 20:25
  when
• 20:25
  you
• 20:25
  live
• 20:26
  like
• 20:26
  that
• 20:26
  and
• 20:26
  you
• 20:26
  start
• 20:27
  scanning
• 20:27
  for
• 20:28
  that
• 20:28
  stuff,
• 20:28
  and
• 20:28
  you
• 20:29
  can
• 20:29
  in
• 20:29
  every
• 20:30
  situation.
• 20:31
  To
• 20:31
  get
• 20:31
  into,
• 20:32
  lucrative
• 20:32
  habit
• 20:33
  is
• 20:33
  a
• 20:33
  beautiful
• 20:33
  way
• 20:34
  to
• 20:34
  put
• 20:34
  it
• 20:34
  you
• 20:34
  said,
• 20:35
  yeah.
• 20:35
  Every
• 20:36
  time,
• 20:36
  just
• 20:37
  find
• 20:38
  the
• 20:38
  good
• 20:38
  in
• 20:38
  it.
• 20:39
  Find
• 20:39
  the
• 20:39
  good
• 20:39
  in
• 20:40
  every
• 20:40
  situation.
• 20:40
  And
• 20:40
  also,
• 20:40
  when
• 20:41
  we've
• 20:41
  been
• 20:42
  abused
• 20:42
  or
• 20:42
  hurt,
• 20:43
  we're
• 20:44
  even
• 20:44
  more
• 20:45
  likely
• 20:45
  to
• 20:46
  react
• 20:47
  emotionally
• 20:48
  because
• 20:48
  our
• 20:48
  nervous
• 20:49
  system
• 20:49
  is
• 20:50
  very
• 20:50
  easily
• 20:51
  evoked,
• 20:52
  and
• 20:53
  we're
• 20:53
  mad
• 20:54
  at
• 20:54
  that
• 20:54
  person.
• 20:55
  It's
• 20:56
  a
• 20:56
  good
• 20:57
  time
• 20:57
  to
• 20:57
  remember
• 20:58
  that
• 20:59
  person
• 20:59
  did
• 20:59
  not
• 21:00
  wake
• 21:00
  up
• 21:00
  to
• 21:00
  of
• 21:00
  course
• 21:01
  in
• 21:01
  when
• 21:01
  it
• 21:01
  comes
• 21:02
  to
• 21:02
  traffic,
• 21:02
  it's
• 21:03
  extremely
• 21:03
  dangerous
• 21:04
  and
• 21:04
  you're
• 21:05
  upset,
• 21:06
  but
• 21:06
  it
• 21:07
  wasn't
• 21:07
  deliberate.
• 21:08
  And,
• 21:08
  they
• 21:08
  may
• 21:09
  be
• 21:09
  driving
• 21:09
  erratically,
• 21:10
  but
• 21:10
  it's
• 21:10
  still
• 21:11
  about
• 21:11
  them.
• 21:12
  And
• 21:12
  knowing
• 21:13
  that
• 21:14
  and
• 21:14
  applying
• 21:15
  that
• 21:15
  to
• 21:15
  all
• 21:15
  situations
• 21:16
  when
• 21:16
  people
• 21:17
  are
• 21:17
  behaving
• 21:18
  inappropriately
• 21:19
  does
• 21:19
  help
• 21:20
  us
• 21:20
  calm
• 21:21
  down.
• 21:21
  So
• 21:22
  I,
• 21:23
  if
• 21:23
  I'm
• 21:23
  cut
• 21:24
  off
• 21:24
  in
• 21:24
  a
• 21:24
  situation
• 21:25
  or
• 21:25
  something
• 21:26
  happens
• 21:26
  like
• 21:27
  that,
• 21:27
  I
• 21:27
  can
• 21:27
  stop
• 21:28
  the
• 21:28
  reaction.
• 21:30
  So
• 21:30
  it's
• 21:31
  not
• 21:31
  so
• 21:31
  bad
• 21:31
  to
• 21:32
  have
• 21:32
  the
• 21:32
  feeling.
• 21:33
  Oh,
• 21:33
  no.
• 21:33
  And
• 21:34
  when
• 21:34
  you
• 21:34
  see
• 21:34
  the
• 21:35
  feeling,
• 21:35
  acknowledge
• 21:36
  there's
• 21:36
  a
• 21:37
  good
• 21:37
  reason
• 21:37
  for
• 21:37
  that.
• 21:38
  But
• 21:39
  to
• 21:39
  make
• 21:40
  a
• 21:40
  choice
• 21:41
  in
• 21:41
  that
• 21:41
  split
• 21:42
  second
• 21:43
  to
• 21:43
  respond
• 21:44
  differently,
• 21:45
  you
• 21:45
  said,
• 21:45
  that
• 21:45
  is
• 21:46
  a
• 21:46
  habit,
• 21:47
  a
• 21:47
  practice.
• 21:48
  It
• 21:48
  takes
• 21:48
  time
• 21:49
  for
• 21:49
  it
• 21:49
  to
• 21:49
  become
• 21:49
  more
• 21:50
  automatic,
• 21:51
  but
• 21:51
  it
• 21:52
  can.
• 21:52
  We
• 21:53
  are
• 21:54
  constantly
• 21:54
  changing.
• 21:55
  Our
• 21:55
  brains
• 21:56
  are
• 21:56
  plastic
• 21:57
  throughout
• 21:57
  life.
• 21:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:59
  So
• 21:59
  we
• 21:59
  can
• 22:00
  make
• 22:01
  changes
• 22:02
  to
• 22:02
  become
• 22:03
  who
• 22:03
  we
• 22:03
  really
• 22:04
  are
• 22:04
  underneath
• 22:05
  things
• 22:05
  that
• 22:06
  have
• 22:06
  happened
• 22:06
  to
• 22:06
  us.
• 22:07
  Absolutely,
• 22:08
  and
• 22:08
  I
• 22:08
  always
• 22:08
  say
• 22:08
  there's
• 22:09
  power,
• 22:09
  there's
• 22:09
  so
• 22:09
  much
• 22:09
  power
• 22:10
  In
• 22:10
  the
• 22:10
  pause
• 22:11
  Mm-hmm
• 22:11
  you're
• 22:11
  up
• 22:11
  on
• 22:11
  a
• 22:11
  stage
• 22:11
  in
• 22:12
  front
• 22:12
  of
• 22:12
  500
• 22:12
  people
• 22:13
  speaking,
• 22:14
  and
• 22:14
  you
• 22:14
  say
• 22:15
  something,
• 22:15
  and
• 22:15
  then
• 22:15
  you
• 22:15
  pause
• 22:16
  and
• 22:16
  you
• 22:16
  let
• 22:16
  it
• 22:16
  hit.
• 22:17
  Or
• 22:17
  when
• 22:17
  your
• 22:18
  kids
• 22:18
  do
• 22:18
  something,
• 22:19
  and
• 22:19
  your
• 22:19
  instant
• 22:19
  gut
• 22:20
  reaction
• 22:20
  is
• 22:20
  to
• 22:21
  lash,
• 22:21
  and
• 22:22
  if
• 22:22
  you
• 22:22
  just
• 22:22
  pause
• 22:23
  and
• 22:23
  think.
• 22:24
  And
• 22:24
  it's
• 22:24
  the
• 22:24
  difference.
• 22:25
  I
• 22:25
  have
• 22:25
  a
• 22:25
  whole
• 22:25
  reset
• 22:26
  program
• 22:26
  that
• 22:26
  I
• 22:27
  have
• 22:27
  online,
• 22:27
  and
• 22:27
  it's
• 22:28
  literally
• 22:28
  just
• 22:28
  the
• 22:29
  difference
• 22:29
  between
• 22:29
  reacting
• 22:30
  and
• 22:30
  responding.
• 22:32
  Miles
• 22:33
  Davis,
• 22:34
  who
• 22:34
  would've
• 22:34
  been
• 22:34
  100
• 22:35
  yesterday,
• 22:36
  said
• 22:37
  something
• 22:37
  to
• 22:37
  the
• 22:37
  effect
• 22:38
  of,
• 22:39
  "It's
• 22:39
  not
• 22:40
  the
• 22:40
  wrong
• 22:40
  note
• 22:41
  you
• 22:41
  play,
• 22:42
  it's
• 22:42
  the
• 22:42
  note
• 22:43
  you
• 22:43
  play
• 22:43
  after."
• 22:45
  And
• 22:45
  I
• 22:45
  love
• 22:46
  that,
• 22:46
  because
• 22:47
  that's
• 22:47
  what
• 22:48
  jazz
• 22:48
  is,
• 22:48
  and
• 22:49
  life
• 22:49
  is
• 22:49
  jazz.
• 22:50
  It's
• 22:51
  unpredictable,
• 22:52
  it's
• 22:54
  fantastic,
• 22:55
  and
• 22:56
  it's
• 22:56
  really
• 22:57
  something
• 22:57
  that
• 22:58
  we
• 22:58
  can't
• 22:58
  always
• 22:59
  control.
• 23:00
  But
• 23:00
  how
• 23:01
  we
• 23:01
  respond
• 23:02
  can
• 23:02
  make
• 23:03
  it
• 23:04
  brilliant
• 23:04
  in
• 23:05
  a
• 23:05
  way
• 23:05
  that
• 23:05
  we
• 23:05
  wouldn't
• 23:06
  have
• 23:06
  thought
• 23:06
  of
• 23:06
  consciously.
• 23:07
  Absolutely.
• 23:08
  And
• 23:08
  just
• 23:08
  getting
• 23:08
  into
• 23:09
  that
• 23:09
  positive
• 23:09
  mindset
• 23:10
  in
• 23:10
  general,
• 23:10
  and
• 23:10
  I'm
• 23:10
  not
• 23:10
  about
• 23:11
  toxic
• 23:12
  positivity,
• 23:12
  just
• 23:12
  putting
• 23:13
  a
• 23:13
  smile
• 23:13
  on,
• 23:13
  pretending
• 23:14
  everything's
• 23:14
  good,
• 23:14
  because
• 23:15
  life
• 23:15
  is
• 23:15
  not
• 23:16
  always
• 23:16
  good,
• 23:16
  that's
• 23:16
  what
• 23:16
  I
• 23:16
  always
• 23:17
  told
• 23:17
  my
• 23:17
  kids.
• 23:17
  Healthy
• 23:18
  people
• 23:18
  heal
• 23:19
  people-"
• 23:19
  Mm-hmm
• 23:20
  "and
• 23:20
  hurt
• 23:21
  people
• 23:21
  hurt
• 23:21
  people."
• 23:21
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:22
  It's
• 23:22
  kind
• 23:22
  of
• 23:22
  like
• 23:22
  when
• 23:22
  you
• 23:23
  deal
• 23:23
  with
• 23:23
  addiction.
• 23:24
  Nobody
• 23:24
  wakes
• 23:24
  up
• 23:25
  one
• 23:25
  morning
• 23:25
  and
• 23:25
  says,
• 23:26
  "I
• 23:26
  think
• 23:26
  I'll
• 23:26
  drink
• 23:26
  myself
• 23:27
  to
• 23:27
  death
• 23:27
  and
• 23:27
  destroy
• 23:27
  my
• 23:28
  family."
• 23:29
  Yeah.
• 23:29
  "That
• 23:29
  sounds
• 23:29
  like
• 23:29
  a
• 23:29
  great
• 23:30
  idea."
• 23:30
  Nobody
• 23:31
  does
• 23:31
  that.
• 23:32
  So
• 23:32
  when
• 23:32
  you're
• 23:33
  angry,
• 23:33
  you're
• 23:33
  angry
• 23:33
  for
• 23:34
  a
• 23:34
  reason.
• 23:34
  When
• 23:35
  they're
• 23:35
  angry,
• 23:35
  they're
• 23:35
  angry
• 23:36
  for
• 23:36
  a
• 23:36
  reason.
• 23:36
  So
• 23:37
  kind
• 23:37
  of
• 23:37
  flip
• 23:38
  it
• 23:38
  and,
• 23:38
  and
• 23:38
  that's
• 23:39
  what
• 23:39
  I
• 23:39
  like
• 23:39
  part
• 23:39
  of
• 23:39
  the
• 23:40
  journaling
• 23:40
  part
• 23:40
  too,
• 23:41
  is
• 23:41
  when
• 23:41
  you
• 23:41
  have
• 23:42
  those
• 23:42
  experiences-
• 23:44
  Turn
• 23:45
  a
• 23:45
  compassionate
• 23:45
  eye.
• 23:45
  Just
• 23:46
  be
• 23:46
  curious
• 23:46
  Yes
• 23:46
  if
• 23:46
  you
• 23:46
  just
• 23:47
  change
• 23:47
  judgment
• 23:48
  to
• 23:48
  curiosity-
• 23:49
  Yes
• 23:49
  It
• 23:50
  softens
• 23:50
  your
• 23:50
  entire
• 23:51
  world.
• 23:51
  Exactly,
• 23:52
  and,
• 23:52
  put
• 23:52
  your
• 23:53
  hand
• 23:53
  on
• 23:53
  your
• 23:53
  heart,
• 23:53
  honey.
• 23:54
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:54
  Be
• 23:54
  your
• 23:54
  own
• 23:55
  good
• 23:55
  parent
• 23:56
  and
• 23:56
  say,
• 23:57
  "What
• 23:57
  are
• 23:58
  you
• 23:58
  feeling
• 23:58
  underneath
• 23:59
  the
• 23:59
  anger
• 24:00
  or
• 24:00
  the
• 24:00
  anxiety
• 24:01
  or
• 24:01
  the
• 24:01
  rage,"
• 24:02
  whatever
• 24:02
  that
• 24:02
  is.
• 24:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:03
  And
• 24:03
  inevitably
• 24:04
  you
• 24:04
  will
• 24:04
  find,
• 24:05
  you
• 24:05
  might
• 24:05
  first
• 24:06
  get
• 24:06
  the
• 24:07
  answer,
• 24:07
  "I
• 24:07
  feel
• 24:08
  hurt,"
• 24:08
  or,
• 24:08
  "I
• 24:08
  feel
• 24:09
  ignored,"
• 24:09
  whatever
• 24:09
  that
• 24:10
  might
• 24:10
  be.
• 24:11
  Then
• 24:11
  you
• 24:11
  can
• 24:11
  go
• 24:11
  deeper.
• 24:12
  Why?
• 24:12
  Why
• 24:13
  do
• 24:13
  I
• 24:13
  feel
• 24:13
  like
• 24:13
  that?
• 24:14
  And
• 24:14
  once
• 24:15
  you're
• 24:15
  able
• 24:15
  to
• 24:16
  understand
• 24:17
  how
• 24:17
  your
• 24:17
  nervous
• 24:18
  system
• 24:19
  developed
• 24:20
  and
• 24:20
  how
• 24:21
  it
• 24:21
  is
• 24:21
  part
• 24:21
  makes
• 24:22
  a
• 24:22
  big
• 24:22
  difference.
• 24:23
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:23
  It's,
• 24:24
  we're
• 24:24
  just
• 24:24
  human.
• 24:25
  We
• 24:25
  just
• 24:26
  Nobody's
• 24:26
  so
• 24:26
  good
• 24:26
  at
• 24:27
  it.
• 24:28
  Nobody's
• 24:28
  mastered
• 24:29
  it,
• 24:29
  and
• 24:29
  the
• 24:29
  mind-body
• 24:30
  connection
• 24:31
  is
• 24:31
  insane,
• 24:32
  because
• 24:32
  I
• 24:33
  can
• 24:33
  trick
• 24:33
  my
• 24:33
  mind
• 24:34
  really
• 24:34
  easily,
• 24:35
  but
• 24:35
  I
• 24:35
  cannot
• 24:36
  trick
• 24:36
  my
• 24:36
  body.
• 24:37
  You
• 24:37
  can't.
• 24:37
  Mm.
• 24:37
  You
• 24:37
  just
• 24:38
  physically
• 24:38
  can't
• 24:38
  trick
• 24:39
  what
• 24:39
  is
• 24:39
  stuck
• 24:39
  in
• 24:40
  cells
• 24:40
  of
• 24:41
  decades
• 24:42
  of
• 24:42
  nervous
• 24:43
  system
• 24:43
  dysregulation.
• 24:44
  You
• 24:44
  have
• 24:44
  to
• 24:45
  get
• 24:45
  it
• 24:45
  out,
• 24:45
  and
• 24:47
  honestly,
• 24:47
  it,
• 24:47
  it's
• 24:48
  expression.
• 24:48
  You
• 24:48
  said,
• 24:49
  it's
• 24:49
  movement,
• 24:50
  it's
• 24:50
  writing,
• 24:50
  it's,
• 24:51
  having
• 24:51
  that
• 24:51
  emotion,
• 24:52
  but
• 24:52
  being
• 24:52
  able
• 24:53
  to
• 24:53
  bring
• 24:53
  it
• 24:53
  back
• 24:53
  down.,
• 24:54
  That's
• 24:54
  what
• 24:54
  we
• 24:54
  struggle
• 24:55
  with.
• 24:55
  Yes.
• 24:56
  But
• 24:57
  we
• 24:57
  have
• 24:57
  the
• 24:57
  capacity-
• 24:58
  Mm-hmm
• 24:58
  to
• 24:59
  talk
• 24:59
  to
• 24:59
  ourselves
• 25:00
  and
• 25:00
  talk
• 25:01
  to
• 25:01
  our
• 25:01
  body,
• 25:02
  and
• 25:02
  when
• 25:03
  our
• 25:03
  anxiety
• 25:04
  comes
• 25:05
  down,
• 25:05
  even
• 25:05
  the
• 25:05
  simple
• 25:06
  act
• 25:06
  of
• 25:06
  touching
• 25:06
  your
• 25:07
  heart,
• 25:07
  your
• 25:08
  body
• 25:08
  does
• 25:08
  respond.
• 25:09
  Mm-hmm.
• 25:10
  Um,
• 25:10
  you're
• 25:10
  not
• 25:11
  going
• 25:11
  to
• 25:11
  get
• 25:11
  rid
• 25:11
  of
• 25:12
  a
• 25:12
  disease
• 25:13
  by
• 25:13
  going
• 25:14
  like
• 25:14
  this,
• 25:15
  but
• 25:15
  you
• 25:15
  might
• 25:16
  ease
• 25:16
  your
• 25:16
  experience
• 25:17
  with
• 25:17
  it,
• 25:18
  and
• 25:18
  that
• 25:19
  is
• 25:20
  what
• 25:20
  we
• 25:20
  can
• 25:20
  do
• 25:21
  in
• 25:21
  real
• 25:21
  time.
• 25:22
  Just
• 25:23
  knowing
• 25:23
  that
• 25:23
  nobody
• 25:24
  goes
• 25:24
  from
• 25:24
  A
• 25:24
  to
• 25:25
  Z
• 25:25
  in
• 25:25
  a
• 25:25
  moment
• 25:26
  is
• 25:26
  also
• 25:27
  helpful,
• 25:28
  and
• 25:28
  that
• 25:28
  we're
• 25:29
  living
• 25:29
  through
• 25:30
  all
• 25:30
  these
• 25:30
  days.
• 25:31
  You
• 25:31
  can
• 25:31
  dream
• 25:32
  of
• 25:32
  going
• 25:32
  from
• 25:32
  A
• 25:33
  to
• 25:33
  Z,
• 25:33
  but
• 25:33
  then
• 25:34
  what
• 25:34
  happens
• 25:34
  to
• 25:34
  all
• 25:34
  those
• 25:35
  other
• 25:35
  years?
• 25:36
  You
• 25:36
  can
• 25:36
  be
• 25:36
  there,
• 25:37
  too.
• 25:38
  Aspiration
• 25:39
  is
• 25:40
  a
• 25:40
  beautiful
• 25:41
  state.
• 25:42
  Oh,
• 25:43
  absolutely.
• 25:44
  Absolutely.
• 25:46
  Ah,
• 25:46
  love
• 25:46
  it.
• 25:47
  So
• 25:47
  I'm
• 25:48
  gonna
• 25:48
  go
• 25:48
  back
• 25:48
  a
• 25:48
  little
• 25:48
  bit,
• 25:49
  just
• 25:49
  real
• 25:49
  quickly,
• 25:50
  back
• 25:50
  to
• 25:50
  the
• 25:50
  structured
• 25:51
  storytelling,
• 25:52
  because
• 25:52
  I
• 25:52
  really
• 25:53
  do
• 25:53
  that.
• 25:53
  You
• 25:53
  help
• 25:53
  people-
• 25:56
  build
• 25:57
  these
• 25:57
  stories
• 25:57
  and
• 25:58
  build
• 25:58
  these-
• 25:58
  how
• 25:59
  is
• 25:59
  that
• 25:59
  different
• 25:59
  than
• 26:00
  you
• 26:00
  and
• 26:00
  me
• 26:00
  sitting
• 26:00
  here
• 26:00
  talking
• 26:01
  right
• 26:01
  now?
• 26:03
  Well,
• 26:03
  it's-
• 26:03
  Like
• 26:03
  a
• 26:03
  regular
• 26:04
  conversation
• 26:05
  it's
• 26:05
  completely
• 26:06
  different
• 26:06
  because
• 26:07
  you're
• 26:08
  only
• 26:08
  conversing
• 26:09
  with
• 26:09
  yourself.
• 26:10
  Okay.
• 26:10
  And
• 26:10
  when
• 26:11
  you're
• 26:11
  in
• 26:11
  flow,
• 26:12
  you
• 26:12
  don't
• 26:14
  even
• 26:14
  realize,
• 26:15
  you
• 26:15
  don't
• 26:15
  even
• 26:15
  think
• 26:15
  about
• 26:15
  it.
• 26:16
  You're
• 26:16
  just
• 26:16
  in
• 26:17
  alternate
• 26:17
  space
• 26:19
  with
• 26:20
  no
• 26:20
  pain.
• 26:21
  It's
• 26:21
  like
• 26:21
  floating.
• 26:23
  It's
• 26:23
  just
• 26:24
  so
• 26:24
  wonderful.
• 26:25
  And
• 26:25
  then
• 26:26
  when
• 26:26
  you
• 26:26
  come
• 26:26
  out
• 26:26
  of
• 26:26
  it,
• 26:27
  you
• 26:27
  look
• 26:28
  down,
• 26:28
  you've
• 26:29
  written
• 26:29
  something.
• 26:30
  Now,
• 26:30
  we're
• 26:30
  not
• 26:30
  always
• 26:31
  in
• 26:31
  flow
• 26:31
  just
• 26:31
  because
• 26:32
  we'd
• 26:32
  like
• 26:32
  to
• 26:32
  be,
• 26:33
  but
• 26:34
  that
• 26:34
  state
• 26:35
  is
• 26:36
  different
• 26:36
  from
• 26:36
  conversing.
• 26:37
  Because
• 26:37
  in
• 26:38
  talking
• 26:39
  with
• 26:39
  someone
• 26:39
  else,
• 26:40
  empathizing
• 26:41
  hopefully,
• 26:42
  you're
• 26:42
  feeling
• 26:42
  them,
• 26:42
  you're
• 26:43
  thinking
• 26:43
  about
• 26:43
  them,
• 26:44
  and
• 26:44
  as
• 26:45
  important
• 26:46
  as
• 26:46
  that
• 26:46
  is
• 26:46
  for
• 26:47
  your
• 26:47
  relationship,
• 26:48
  the
• 26:48
  process
• 26:49
  of
• 26:49
  writing
• 26:50
  is
• 26:51
  and
• 26:52
  only
• 26:52
  for
• 26:52
  you.
• 26:53
  So
• 26:53
  that's
• 26:54
  one
• 26:54
  of
• 26:54
  the
• 26:54
  reasons
• 26:54
  that
• 26:55
  for
• 26:55
  us
• 26:55
  it's
• 26:55
  so
• 26:55
  important
• 26:56
  that
• 26:56
  people
• 26:57
  don't
• 26:57
  get
• 26:57
  feedback
• 26:59
  or
• 26:59
  fixed.
• 26:59
  Don't
• 27:00
  fix
• 27:00
  me.
• 27:00
  I
• 27:01
  was,
• 27:01
  yeah,
• 27:01
  I
• 27:01
  was
• 27:01
  kinda
• 27:01
  getting
• 27:02
  at
• 27:02
  that.
• 27:02
  Because
• 27:02
  when
• 27:02
  you're
• 27:03
  writing,
• 27:03
  when
• 27:03
  you're
• 27:03
  having
• 27:03
  a
• 27:03
  conversation,
• 27:04
  especially
• 27:05
  if
• 27:05
  it
• 27:05
  gets
• 27:05
  intense
• 27:06
  or
• 27:06
  you're
• 27:06
  talking
• 27:07
  about
• 27:07
  the
• 27:07
  past
• 27:07
  or
• 27:08
  you're
• 27:08
  talking
• 27:08
  about
• 27:08
  your
• 27:08
  whatever
• 27:09
  it
• 27:09
  is,
• 27:10
  no
• 27:10
  matter
• 27:10
  h-
• 27:11
  it's
• 27:11
  human
• 27:11
  nature
• 27:12
  to
• 27:12
  want
• 27:13
  to
• 27:13
  protect
• 27:13
  not
• 27:14
  only
• 27:14
  yourself,
• 27:15
  but
• 27:15
  the
• 27:15
  other
• 27:15
  person.
• 27:16
  So
• 27:16
  you're,
• 27:17
  no
• 27:17
  matter
• 27:17
  what-
• 27:18
  Yes
• 27:18
  you're,
• 27:18
  you're
• 27:18
  kinda
• 27:19
  constantly
• 27:19
  processing,
• 27:20
  how
• 27:20
  am
• 27:20
  I
• 27:20
  going
• 27:21
  to
• 27:21
  word
• 27:21
  this
• 27:22
  to
• 27:22
  be
• 27:22
  right,
• 27:23
  "right"
• 27:23
  quote
• 27:24
  unquote,
• 27:24
  you
• 27:24
  said.
• 27:25
  But
• 27:26
  when
• 27:26
  you're
• 27:26
  just
• 27:26
  your
• 27:26
  story,
• 27:27
  your
• 27:27
  story
• 27:27
  alone.
• 27:28
  There's
• 27:28
  no,
• 27:29
  there's
• 27:29
  no
• 27:29
  judgment.
• 27:29
  Now,
• 27:30
  I
• 27:30
  know
• 27:30
  during
• 27:31
  a
• 27:31
  12
• 27:31
  step
• 27:31
  program,
• 27:32
  there's
• 27:32
  a
• 27:32
  lot
• 27:32
  of
• 27:32
  online,
• 27:33
  ACA,
• 27:34
  Al-Anon,
• 27:34
  there's
• 27:34
  all
• 27:34
  these
• 27:35
  programs
• 27:35
  online,
• 27:36
  and
• 27:36
  that's
• 27:37
  one
• 27:37
  of
• 27:37
  the
• 27:37
  feedback
• 27:38
  I
• 27:38
  get
• 27:38
  and
• 27:38
  where
• 27:38
  I
• 27:38
  get
• 27:38
  a
• 27:38
  lot
• 27:39
  of
• 27:39
  my
• 27:39
  clients
• 27:39
  from
• 27:40
  are
• 27:40
  people
• 27:40
  that
• 27:40
  go
• 27:41
  to
• 27:41
  these
• 27:41
  groups
• 27:42
  and
• 27:42
  they
• 27:43
  want
• 27:43
  feedback.
• 27:44
  Mm-hmm.
• 27:44
  That's,
• 27:45
  sharing
• 27:45
  and
• 27:46
  then
• 27:46
  being
• 27:46
  like,
• 27:46
  "Thank
• 27:46
  you
• 27:46
  for
• 27:47
  your
• 27:47
  share."
• 27:48
  And
• 27:48
  then
• 27:48
  they're
• 27:48
  like-
• 27:48
  Mm-hmm
• 27:48
  left
• 27:49
  hanging
• 27:49
  out
• 27:49
  there
• 27:49
  like,
• 27:49
  "Okay,
• 27:50
  what
• 27:50
  do
• 27:50
  I
• 27:51
  do
• 27:51
  with
• 27:51
  that
• 27:51
  information?"
• 27:52
  Do
• 27:53
  you
• 27:53
  get
• 27:53
  that
• 27:53
  feedback
• 27:54
  at
• 27:54
  all?
• 27:56
  No,
• 27:56
  because,
• 27:57
  this
• 27:57
  is
• 27:58
  so
• 27:58
  deeply
• 27:58
  satisfying.
• 28:00
  We're
• 28:00
  not,
• 28:01
  avoiding
• 28:01
  feedback
• 28:02
  because
• 28:03
  we
• 28:03
  don't
• 28:03
  want
• 28:03
  more
• 28:04
  clarity
• 28:04
  or
• 28:05
  we
• 28:05
  don't
• 28:05
  want,
• 28:06
  the
• 28:06
  give
• 28:06
  and
• 28:06
  take.
• 28:07
  We're
• 28:07
  simply
• 28:08
  avoiding
• 28:09
  the
• 28:09
  feedback
• 28:10
  so
• 28:10
  that
• 28:10
  people
• 28:11
  can
• 28:11
  develop
• 28:12
  a
• 28:12
  relationship
• 28:13
  with
• 28:13
  themselves
• 28:14
  that's
• 28:14
  not
• 28:15
  dependent
• 28:16
  on
• 28:16
  other
• 28:16
  people's
• 28:17
  responses.
• 28:18
  When
• 28:19
  you
• 28:19
  can
• 28:19
  hang
• 28:19
  with
• 28:20
  you,
• 28:20
  I
• 28:20
  said
• 28:20
  before,
• 28:21
  you're
• 28:22
  just
• 28:22
  not
• 28:22
  lonely.
• 28:23
  So
• 28:24
  if
• 28:24
  you
• 28:24
  start
• 28:26
  really
• 28:27
  imagining
• 28:28
  how
• 28:29
  many
• 28:29
  ideas
• 28:30
  you
• 28:30
  have
• 28:30
  a
• 28:30
  day,
• 28:31
  the
• 28:31
  thousands
• 28:32
  and
• 28:32
  thousands
• 28:33
  of
• 28:33
  thoughts
• 28:33
  you
• 28:33
  have
• 28:34
  every
• 28:34
  day,
• 28:35
  which
• 28:35
  by
• 28:35
  the
• 28:35
  way,
• 28:36
  most
• 28:36
  are
• 28:37
  the
• 28:37
  same
• 28:37
  as
• 28:38
  you
• 28:38
  had
• 28:38
  yesterday.
• 28:39
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:39
  But
• 28:40
  there
• 28:40
  are
• 28:40
  so
• 28:40
  many
• 28:41
  that
• 28:41
  you're
• 28:41
  still
• 28:42
  going
• 28:42
  to
• 28:42
  have
• 28:42
  a
• 28:42
  whole
• 28:43
  bunch
• 28:43
  of
• 28:43
  new
• 28:43
  ones.
• 28:44
  So
• 28:45
  it's
• 28:45
  really
• 28:45
  a
• 28:45
  matter
• 28:46
  of
• 28:47
  what
• 28:47
  you're
• 28:47
  saying,
• 28:48
  finding
• 28:49
  hope,
• 28:51
  finding
• 28:51
  enough
• 28:52
  hope
• 28:52
  to
• 28:52
  a
• 28:52
  little
• 28:53
  bit.
• 28:54
  And
• 28:54
  then
• 28:54
  when
• 28:55
  you
• 28:55
  have
• 28:55
  achieved
• 28:56
  that
• 28:56
  shift,
• 28:57
  which
• 28:57
  that
• 28:58
  can
• 28:58
  happen
• 28:58
  instantly,
• 28:59
  you
• 28:59
  can
• 28:59
  go
• 28:59
  from
• 28:59
  being
• 29:00
  very
• 29:00
  upset
• 29:00
  to
• 29:01
  calmer,
• 29:03
  acknowledge
• 29:04
  it.
• 29:04
  Acknowledge
• 29:05
  yourself
• 29:05
  for
• 29:05
  having
• 29:06
  achieved
• 29:06
  that,
• 29:06
  especially
• 29:07
  if
• 29:07
  you
• 29:07
  tried
• 29:08
  to
• 29:08
  do
• 29:08
  it
• 29:08
  deliberately.
• 29:09
  Small
• 29:09
  wins.
• 29:10
  Absolutely.
• 29:11
  Absolutely.
• 29:11
  Yeah,
• 29:12
  I
• 29:12
  was
• 29:12
  We're
• 29:12
  on
• 29:12
  the
• 29:12
  same
• 29:12
  page.
• 29:13
  I
• 29:14
  definitely.
• 29:15
  I
• 29:15
  just
• 29:16
  was
• 29:16
  curious
• 29:16
  about
• 29:16
  that
• 29:17
  because
• 29:17
  it
• 29:17
  makes
• 29:17
  sense.
• 29:18
  I
• 29:18
  mean,
• 29:18
  you're
• 29:19
  completely
• 29:19
  non-judgmental.
• 29:20
  You're
• 29:20
  have-
• 29:21
  you're
• 29:21
  having
• 29:21
  people
• 29:21
  listening,
• 29:22
  so
• 29:22
  it
• 29:22
  is
• 29:22
  very
• 29:22
  much
• 29:22
  like
• 29:23
  those
• 29:23
  same
• 29:24
  type
• 29:24
  things
• 29:25
  where,
• 29:25
  in
• 29:25
  ACAM-
• 29:26
  not
• 29:26
  a,
• 29:26
  I
• 29:26
  don't
• 29:26
  wanna
• 29:26
  say
• 29:26
  it's
• 29:26
  like
• 29:27
  a
• 29:27
  12
• 29:27
  step
• 29:27
  program,
• 29:27
  but
• 29:28
  it
• 29:28
  is,
• 29:28
  you're
• 29:29
  just
• 29:29
  putting
• 29:29
  it
• 29:29
  all
• 29:29
  out
• 29:30
  there
• 29:30
  and
• 29:31
  no
• 29:31
  judgment.
• 29:31
  Yeah.
• 29:31
  Lots
• 29:31
  of
• 29:31
  people
• 29:32
  from
• 29:32
  12
• 29:32
  step
• 29:33
  come.
• 29:33
  And
• 29:34
  also,
• 29:35
  you're
• 29:35
  not
• 29:35
  just
• 29:35
  doing
• 29:36
  that,
• 29:36
  you're
• 29:36
  also
• 29:36
  having
• 29:36
  conversations.
• 29:37
  You're
• 29:38
  having
• 29:38
  one-on-one
• 29:39
  breakouts
• 29:40
  with
• 29:40
  a
• 29:40
  prompt-
• 29:41
  Yeah
• 29:42
  and
• 29:42
  just
• 29:42
  sharing
• 29:43
  whatever
• 29:43
  comes
• 29:44
  up.
• 29:44
  And
• 29:44
  by
• 29:44
  the
• 29:44
  way,
• 29:45
  if
• 29:45
  you
• 29:45
  talk
• 29:45
  about
• 29:46
  something
• 29:46
  else,
• 29:46
  I
• 29:47
  don't
• 29:47
  care.
• 29:47
  If
• 29:48
  you
• 29:48
  write
• 29:48
  about
• 29:48
  something
• 29:49
  else,
• 29:49
  I
• 29:49
  don't
• 29:50
  care.
• 29:50
  It's
• 29:50
  none
• 29:50
  of
• 29:50
  my
• 29:50
  business.
• 29:52
  I
• 29:52
  just
• 29:53
  want
• 29:53
  you
• 29:53
  to
• 29:54
  have
• 29:54
  a
• 29:54
  jumping
• 29:54
  off
• 29:55
  point.
• 29:55
  So
• 29:56
  don't
• 29:56
  worry
• 29:57
  about
• 29:57
  the
• 29:57
  prompt.,
• 29:58
  Make
• 29:58
  it
• 29:58
  your
• 29:58
  own.
• 29:59
  Yeah.
• 30:00
  What
• 30:00
  would
• 30:00
  you
• 30:00
  suggest
• 30:01
  to
• 30:01
  people?
• 30:01
  So
• 30:01
  let's
• 30:01
  say
• 30:02
  they
• 30:03
  wanna
• 30:03
  just
• 30:03
  start
• 30:03
  doing
• 30:03
  this,
• 30:04
  because
• 30:04
  I
• 30:04
  know,
• 30:04
  I've
• 30:04
  been
• 30:05
  doing
• 30:05
  more
• 30:05
  content
• 30:06
  on
• 30:06
  social
• 30:07
  media,
• 30:07
  now
• 30:08
  I
• 30:08
  look
• 30:08
  at
• 30:08
  everything
• 30:09
  differently.
• 30:09
  I
• 30:09
  look
• 30:09
  at
• 30:09
  every
• 30:10
  scene
• 30:11
  as,
• 30:11
  "Oh,
• 30:11
  this
• 30:12
  is,
• 30:12
  this
• 30:12
  could
• 30:13
  strike
• 30:13
  this
• 30:13
  in
• 30:14
  someone."
• 30:14
  Do
• 30:15
  you
• 30:15
  have
• 30:15
  any
• 30:15
  suggestions
• 30:16
  for
• 30:16
  people
• 30:17
  like
• 30:17
  that
• 30:17
  to
• 30:17
  kinda
• 30:17
  come
• 30:18
  up
• 30:18
  with
• 30:18
  their
• 30:18
  own
• 30:19
  prompts
• 30:19
  or
• 30:19
  writing
• 30:20
  ideas?
• 30:22
  Well,
• 30:22
  we
• 30:22
  do
• 30:23
  have
• 30:23
  a
• 30:23
  couple
• 30:23
  of
• 30:23
  card
• 30:24
  decks
• 30:24
  that
• 30:24
  look
• 30:25
  like
• 30:25
  this
• 30:27
  And
• 30:28
  the,
• 30:28
  you
• 30:28
  can
• 30:29
  get
• 30:29
  them
• 30:29
  on
• 30:29
  our
• 30:29
  website,
• 30:30
  the
• 30:31
  narrativemethod.org.
• 30:32
  Um,
• 30:33
  these
• 30:34
  have
• 30:34
  prompts
• 30:35
  that
• 30:35
  correspond
• 30:36
  to
• 30:36
  all
• 30:36
  of
• 30:36
  the
• 30:37
  12
• 30:37
  core
• 30:37
  concepts,
• 30:38
  and
• 30:39
  they're
• 30:39
  deep.
• 30:40
  And
• 30:40
  so
• 30:41
  I'm
• 30:41
  gonna,
• 30:41
  I'll
• 30:41
  show
• 30:41
  you
• 30:41
  an
• 30:41
  example.
• 30:43
  This
• 30:43
  is
• 30:43
  not
• 30:43
  gonna
• 30:43
  be
• 30:44
  scientific,
• 30:44
  but
• 30:45
  just
• 30:45
  say
• 30:45
  stop
• 30:46
  and
• 30:46
  I'll
• 30:46
  pick
• 30:46
  a
• 30:46
  card,
• 30:47
  any
• 30:47
  card.
• 30:48
  Stop.
• 30:49
  Okay.
• 30:50
  Not
• 30:51
  scientific.
• 30:51
  This
• 30:52
  one
• 30:52
  is
• 30:52
  radical
• 30:53
  gratitude.
• 30:54
  Oh,
• 30:54
  my
• 30:54
  gosh.
• 30:54
  Oh,
• 30:54
  my
• 30:54
  gosh.
• 30:54
  That's
• 30:55
  funny.
• 30:55
  Pick
• 30:55
  a
• 30:55
  different
• 30:55
  one.
• 30:55
  No,
• 30:56
  I'm
• 30:56
  just
• 30:57
  kidding.
• 30:57
  Okay.
• 30:57
  I'm
• 30:57
  just
• 30:58
  kidding.
• 30:58
  No,
• 30:58
  I
• 30:58
  mean,
• 30:58
  this
• 30:58
  is
• 30:58
  really
• 30:59
  ridiculous
• 31:00
  because
• 31:00
  we
• 31:00
  were
• 31:00
  talking
• 31:00
  about...
• 31:01
  Anyway.
• 31:01
  That's
• 31:01
  funny.
• 31:02
  First
• 31:02
  they
• 31:02
  have
• 31:02
  a
• 31:02
  statement,
• 31:03
  and
• 31:04
  then
• 31:04
  there's
• 31:04
  a
• 31:04
  prompt.
• 31:05
  So
• 31:05
  the
• 31:05
  statement
• 31:05
  is,
• 31:06
  "A
• 31:06
  near
• 31:07
  accident
• 31:08
  is
• 31:08
  an
• 31:08
  opportunity
• 31:09
  to
• 31:09
  thank
• 31:09
  the
• 31:09
  universe."
• 31:11
  And
• 31:11
  the
• 31:11
  prompt
• 31:12
  is,
• 31:12
  "What
• 31:13
  close
• 31:13
  call
• 31:13
  were
• 31:14
  you
• 31:14
  lucky
• 31:14
  to
• 31:14
  survive?"
• 31:16
  You
• 31:16
  can
• 31:16
  use
• 31:17
  that
• 31:17
  as
• 31:17
  a
• 31:17
  writing
• 31:17
  prompt.
• 31:18
  You
• 31:18
  can
• 31:18
  use
• 31:19
  it
• 31:19
  in
• 31:19
  a
• 31:19
  group,
• 31:20
  of
• 31:20
  friends,
• 31:21
  colleagues,
• 31:22
  family,
• 31:22
  what
• 31:22
  have
• 31:23
  you,
• 31:23
  and
• 31:24
  you
• 31:24
  will
• 31:24
  inevitably
• 31:25
  learn
• 31:26
  more
• 31:26
  about
• 31:26
  people
• 31:27
  that
• 31:27
  you
• 31:27
  think
• 31:27
  can
• 31:28
  grab
• 31:28
  those
• 31:28
  card
• 31:28
  decks
• 31:29
  on
• 31:29
  your,
• 31:30
  on
• 31:30
  your
• 31:30
  website
• 31:30
  you
• 31:30
  said?
• 31:31
  At
• 31:31
  the
• 31:32
  narrativemethod.org,
• 31:33
  yes.
• 31:33
  And
• 31:33
  I
• 31:33
  will-
• 31:33
  And
• 31:33
  that's
• 31:33
  also
• 31:34
  where
• 31:34
  you
• 31:34
  can
• 31:34
  sign
• 31:35
  up
• 31:35
  for
• 31:35
  salons.
• 31:36
  They're
• 31:36
  free.
• 31:37
  Okay.
• 31:37
  They
• 31:38
  happen
• 31:38
  multiple
• 31:39
  times
• 31:39
  a
• 31:40
  week,
• 31:41
  and
• 31:41
  all
• 31:42
  you
• 31:42
  need
• 31:42
  to
• 31:42
  know
• 31:42
  is
• 31:43
  that
• 31:43
  each
• 31:43
  salon
• 31:44
  has
• 31:45
  a
• 31:45
  different
• 31:45
  link.
• 31:46
  So
• 31:46
  you
• 31:46
  can
• 31:46
  sit
• 31:47
  there
• 31:47
  and
• 31:47
  sign
• 31:47
  up
• 31:48
  for
• 31:48
  lots
• 31:48
  of
• 31:49
  them,
• 31:50
  we're
• 31:50
  here
• 31:50
  waiting
• 31:51
  to
• 31:51
  meet
• 31:51
  you.
• 31:53
  That's
• 31:53
  awesome.
• 31:54
  Yeah,
• 31:54
  I'm
• 31:54
  gonna
• 31:54
  put
• 31:54
  all
• 31:55
  of
• 31:55
  those
• 31:55
  links
• 31:55
  for
• 31:55
  the
• 31:55
  people
• 31:56
  listening.
• 31:56
  Don't
• 31:56
  try
• 31:56
  to
• 31:56
  write
• 31:57
  it
• 31:57
  down.
• 31:57
  Don't
• 31:57
  pull
• 31:57
  over.
• 31:58
  Don't
• 31:59
  mess
• 31:59
  up.
• 31:59
  What
• 31:59
  I
• 31:59
  mean?
• 32:00
  Just
• 32:00
  listen
• 32:00
  and
• 32:00
  then
• 32:01
  go
• 32:01
  back
• 32:01
  to
• 32:01
  the
• 32:01
  show
• 32:01
  notes.
• 32:02
  I
• 32:02
  will
• 32:02
  have
• 32:02
  all
• 32:02
  of
• 32:02
  her
• 32:02
  links
• 32:03
  in
• 32:03
  there,
• 32:03
  all
• 32:03
  of
• 32:03
  Sherry's
• 32:04
  links
• 32:04
  in
• 32:04
  there.
• 32:05
  But
• 32:05
  Sherry,
• 32:05
  so
• 32:05
  tell
• 32:06
  us
• 32:06
  if
• 32:06
  people
• 32:06
  want
• 32:07
  to,
• 32:07
  I
• 32:07
  know
• 32:07
  you
• 32:07
  just
• 32:07
  mentioned
• 32:08
  the
• 32:08
  website,
• 32:08
  but
• 32:08
  if
• 32:08
  people
• 32:08
  wanna
• 32:09
  come
• 32:09
  work
• 32:09
  with
• 32:09
  you
• 32:09
  or
• 32:10
  find
• 32:10
  out
• 32:10
  more,
• 32:10
  where
• 32:11
  do
• 32:11
  they
• 32:11
  go?
• 32:11
  Best
• 32:12
  place.
• 32:12
  They
• 32:12
  would
• 32:12
  go
• 32:12
  to
• 32:12
  the
• 32:13
  website,
• 32:13
  or
• 32:14
  you
• 32:14
  can
• 32:14
  write
• 32:14
  me
• 32:14
  at
• 32:15
  info@thenarrativemethod.org.
• 32:18
  And
• 32:19
  next
• 32:19
  spring
• 32:20
  I
• 32:20
  have
• 32:20
  a
• 32:20
  book
• 32:20
  coming
• 32:21
  out
• 32:21
  on-
• 32:22
  Yeah
• 32:22
  Harper
• 32:22
  Collins,
• 32:23
  which
• 32:24
  is
• 32:24
  called
• 32:24
  The
• 32:24
  Narrative
• 32:25
  Method:
• 32:26
  A
• 32:26
  Writing
• 32:26
  Practice
• 32:27
  for
• 32:27
  Not
• 32:28
  Hating
• 32:28
  Yourself
• 32:29
  and
• 32:29
  Discovering
• 32:30
  Who
• 32:30
  You
• 32:31
  Really
• 32:31
  Are.
• 32:32
  And
• 32:33
  ah,
• 32:33
  I
• 32:33
  love
• 32:34
  that.
• 32:34
  And
• 32:34
  at
• 32:34
  the
• 32:34
  end
• 32:34
  of
• 32:34
  the
• 32:34
  day,
• 32:34
  that's
• 32:35
  what
• 32:35
  we
• 32:35
  all
• 32:35
  need
• 32:35
  to
• 32:35
  do.
• 32:36
  We
• 32:36
  all
• 32:36
  need
• 32:36
  to-
• 32:36
  Yes
• 32:37
  discover
• 32:37
  who
• 32:37
  we
• 32:37
  are.
• 32:38
  And
• 32:38
  it's
• 32:38
  not,
• 32:39
  I
• 32:39
  had
• 32:40
  this
• 32:40
  discussion
• 32:40
  this
• 32:40
  morning
• 32:41
  too.
• 32:41
  Wow,
• 32:41
  I've
• 32:41
  been
• 32:41
  on,
• 32:41
  I've
• 32:42
  been
• 32:42
  on
• 32:42
  these
• 32:42
  things
• 32:42
  a
• 32:42
  lot
• 32:42
  today.
• 32:43
  It's
• 32:43
  not
• 32:44
  discovering
• 32:44
  a
• 32:44
  new
• 32:45
  you,
• 32:45
  by
• 32:46
  the
• 32:46
  way,
• 32:46
  guys.
• 32:46
  No.
• 32:46
  It
• 32:47
  is
• 32:47
  going
• 32:47
  back,
• 32:47
  it
• 32:48
  is
• 32:48
  going
• 32:48
  back
• 32:48
  to
• 32:48
  who
• 32:49
  you
• 32:49
  were
• 32:49
  born
• 32:50
  before
• 32:50
  life
• 32:50
  lifed
• 32:51
  on
• 32:51
  you.
• 32:51
  Exactly.
• 32:51
  And
• 32:51
  he-
• 32:52
  It's
• 32:52
  just
• 32:52
  taking
• 32:53
  the
• 32:53
  overlay
• 32:53
  away,
• 32:54
  mm.
• 32:54
  Y-
• 32:54
  y-
• 32:54
  you
• 32:55
  suck.
• 32:55
  You're
• 32:55
  not
• 32:55
  good
• 32:56
  enough.
• 32:56
  You're,
• 32:57
  you
• 32:57
  can't...
• 32:58
  "Shut
• 32:58
  up,
• 32:58
  you
• 32:58
  can't
• 32:59
  sing."
• 32:59
  I
• 32:59
  mean,
• 33:00
  why
• 33:00
  do
• 33:00
  you
• 33:01
  have
• 33:01
  to
• 33:01
  be
• 33:01
  a
• 33:01
  star
• 33:03
  to
• 33:03
  feel
• 33:03
  entitled
• 33:04
  to
• 33:04
  enjoy
• 33:05
  the
• 33:05
  pleasure
• 33:06
  of
• 33:06
  singing
• 33:06
  or
• 33:07
  writing
• 33:07
  or-
• 33:08
  anything
• 33:09
  Yep,
• 33:10
  absolutely.
• 33:10
  And
• 33:10
  you're,
• 33:11
  you're
• 33:11
  going
• 33:11
  back
• 33:11
  to,
• 33:11
  I
• 33:11
  said,
• 33:12
  you're
• 33:12
  going
• 33:12
  back
• 33:12
  to
• 33:12
  the
• 33:12
  beautiful
• 33:13
  you,
• 33:13
  divine
• 33:14
  you.
• 33:14
  Just
• 33:14
  it's
• 33:15
  all
• 33:15
  inside
• 33:16
  of
• 33:16
  you.
• 33:16
  Yes.
• 33:16
  Stop
• 33:16
  looking
• 33:17
  from
• 33:17
  the
• 33:17
  outside...
• 33:18
  But
• 33:18
  we've
• 33:19
  been
• 33:19
  so
• 33:19
  been
• 33:19
  so
• 33:20
  conditioned
• 33:20
  to
• 33:20
  just-
• 33:20
  Yes
• 33:21
  be
• 33:22
  who
• 33:22
  everybody
• 33:22
  told
• 33:23
  us
• 33:23
  to
• 33:23
  be
• 33:23
  and
• 33:23
  everything
• 33:24
  else.
• 33:24
  And
• 33:25
  I
• 33:25
  remember
• 33:25
  I
• 33:25
  used
• 33:25
  the
• 33:25
  comment
• 33:26
  all
• 33:26
  the
• 33:26
  time
• 33:26
  at
• 33:26
  work,
• 33:26
  and
• 33:27
  people
• 33:27
  kind
• 33:27
  of
• 33:27
  laugh
• 33:27
  at
• 33:27
  me,
• 33:28
  and
• 33:28
  I
• 33:28
  always
• 33:28
  say,
• 33:28
  "The
• 33:29
  day
• 33:29
  that
• 33:29
  I
• 33:29
  decided
• 33:30
  that
• 33:30
  what
• 33:30
  other
• 33:30
  people
• 33:31
  thought
• 33:31
  of
• 33:31
  me
• 33:31
  was
• 33:31
  none
• 33:31
  of
• 33:31
  my
• 33:32
  business"
• 33:33
  Nice
• 33:34
  was
• 33:34
  the
• 33:34
  best,
• 33:35
  best
• 33:35
  day
• 33:35
  ever.
• 33:36
  Don't
• 33:36
  care.
• 33:37
  Be
• 33:37
  unapologetically
• 33:38
  you.
• 33:38
  As
• 33:38
  long
• 33:38
  as
• 33:39
  you're
• 33:39
  not
• 33:39
  purposely
• 33:39
  hurting
• 33:40
  anybody
• 33:40
  and
• 33:40
  you're
• 33:40
  being
• 33:41
  the
• 33:41
  person
• 33:41
  that-
• 33:41
  For
• 33:41
  sure
• 33:42
  then
• 33:43
  who
• 33:43
  cares?
• 33:43
  You're
• 33:44
  gonna
• 33:44
  have
• 33:44
  haters.
• 33:44
  If
• 33:45
  you
• 33:45
  don't
• 33:45
  have
• 33:45
  a
• 33:45
  hater,
• 33:45
  you
• 33:45
  haven't
• 33:46
  done
• 33:46
  anything
• 33:46
  big
• 33:47
  enough.
• 33:49
  You're
• 33:49
  absolutely
• 33:50
  right.
• 33:50
  We
• 33:51
  can't
• 33:51
  control
• 33:52
  what
• 33:52
  people
• 33:52
  think
• 33:52
  of
• 33:53
  us.
• 33:53
  Mm-mm.
• 33:54
  It
• 33:54
  is
• 33:54
  none
• 33:54
  of
• 33:55
  our
• 33:55
  business.
• 33:55
  And
• 33:56
  what
• 33:56
  people
• 33:56
  take
• 33:57
  away
• 33:57
  from
• 33:57
  us
• 33:58
  is
• 33:58
  never
• 33:59
  the
• 33:59
  enormity
• 34:00
  that
• 34:00
  we
• 34:00
  experience.
• 34:01
  But
• 34:02
  when
• 34:02
  we
• 34:02
  connect
• 34:03
  deeply,
• 34:03
  when
• 34:04
  we're
• 34:04
  being
• 34:04
  real
• 34:05
  rather
• 34:06
  than
• 34:07
  acting,
• 34:07
  the
• 34:08
  way
• 34:08
  we
• 34:08
  and
• 34:08
  they
• 34:09
  understand,
• 34:10
  and
• 34:10
  they
• 34:10
  empathize.
• 34:11
  It's
• 34:12
  hard
• 34:12
  not
• 34:12
  to
• 34:12
  love
• 34:13
  somebody
• 34:13
  who's
• 34:13
  being
• 34:14
  vulnerable.
• 34:15
  Yeah.
• 34:16
  Yeah,
• 34:16
  and
• 34:16
  who's
• 34:16
  being
• 34:17
  themselves
• 34:17
  and
• 34:17
  who's
• 34:18
  just
• 34:18
  being
• 34:18
  100%
• 34:19
  honest.
• 34:20
  Yeah.
• 34:20
  Absolutely.
• 34:21
  Absolutely.
• 34:22
  Well,
• 34:22
  Shari,
• 34:23
  this
• 34:23
  was
• 34:23
  so
• 34:23
  much
• 34:24
  fun.
• 34:24
  So
• 34:24
  thank
• 34:24
  you
• 34:25
  so
• 34:25
  much
• 34:25
  for
• 34:25
  coming
• 34:25
  on.
• 34:26
  Thank
• 34:26
  you.
• 34:27
  And
• 34:27
  before
• 34:27
  you
• 34:28
  leave,
• 34:28
  I
• 34:28
  want
• 34:29
  you
• 34:29
  to
• 34:29
  give
• 34:29
  the
• 34:29
  listeners
• 34:30
  one
• 34:30
  last
• 34:31
  words
• 34:31
  of
• 34:31
  advice
• 34:32
  or-
• 34:32
  Mm-hmm
• 34:32
  words
• 34:32
  of
• 34:32
  wisdom
• 34:33
  or
• 34:33
  whatever.
• 34:33
  Well,
• 34:34
  some
• 34:34
  big
• 34:34
  picture
• 34:35
  tangible
• 34:35
  thing
• 34:36
  they
• 34:36
  can
• 34:36
  take
• 34:36
  with
• 34:36
  them
• 34:37
  to
• 34:37
  make
• 34:37
  their
• 34:37
  day
• 34:37
  a
• 34:37
  little
• 34:37
  brighter.
• 34:39
  Okay.
• 34:39
  Well,
• 34:39
  here's
• 34:40
  what
• 34:40
  I
• 34:41
  think.
• 34:43
  It's
• 34:43
  not
• 34:43
  what
• 34:44
  you've
• 34:44
  achieved
• 34:45
  that
• 34:45
  will
• 34:46
  make
• 34:46
  people
• 34:46
  connect
• 34:47
  to
• 34:47
  you,
• 34:48
  it's
• 34:48
  what
• 34:48
  you've
• 34:48
  struggled
• 34:49
  with.
• 34:50
  When
• 34:50
  you
• 34:50
  share
• 34:51
  that,
• 34:51
  you're
• 34:52
  showing
• 34:52
  them
• 34:52
  everything.
• 34:54
  And
• 34:54
  when
• 34:54
  you
• 34:54
  go
• 34:55
  deep,
• 34:55
  the
• 34:56
  other
• 34:56
  person
• 34:57
  feels
• 34:57
  you.
• 34:59
  That's
• 35:00
  it.
• 35:01
  Allow
• 35:01
  yourself
• 35:02
  to
• 35:02
  be
• 35:02
  who
• 35:02
  you
• 35:03
  are,
• 35:04
  and
• 35:04
  accept
• 35:05
  yourself
• 35:06
  as
• 35:06
  you
• 35:06
  are.
• 35:06
  That
• 35:07
  has
• 35:07
  nothing
• 35:07
  to
• 35:07
  do
• 35:07
  with
• 35:08
  aspiring
• 35:09
  to
• 35:09
  future
• 35:09
  things.
• 35:10
  Just
• 35:11
  be
• 35:11
  who
• 35:11
  you
• 35:11
  are
• 35:12
  with
• 35:13
  other
• 35:13
  people
• 35:14
  and
• 35:14
  with
• 35:14
  yourself.
• 35:16
  Yeah.
• 35:16
  Ah,
• 35:16
  love
• 35:17
  that.
• 35:17
  Love
• 35:17
  that
• 35:17
  message.
• 35:18
  And
• 35:18
  I
• 35:18
  always
• 35:18
  say,
• 35:19
  you're
• 35:19
  right
• 35:19
  where
• 35:19
  you
• 35:19
  need
• 35:19
  to
• 35:20
  be
• 35:20
  right
• 35:20
  now.
• 35:21
  You're-
• 35:21
  For
• 35:21
  sure
• 35:21
  you're
• 35:21
  here.
• 35:22
  Just
• 35:22
  embrace
• 35:23
  it
• 35:23
  and-
• 35:24
  Yes
• 35:24
  and
• 35:24
  love
• 35:24
  it.
• 35:25
  Absolutely.
• 35:26
  Well,
• 35:26
  again,
• 35:27
  thank
• 35:27
  you
• 35:27
  so
• 35:27
  much.
• 35:28
  I
• 35:28
  so
• 35:28
  appreciate
• 35:29
  you.
• 35:29
  Big
• 35:29
  heart.
• 35:30
  Sweet.
• 35:31
  And
• 35:31
  for
• 35:32
  everybody
• 35:32
  else
• 35:32
  out
• 35:32
  there
• 35:33
  listening,
• 35:34
  start
• 35:34
  writing.
• 35:35
  Go
• 35:35
  to
• 35:35
  the
• 35:36
  website,
• 35:36
  check
• 35:36
  it
• 35:37
  out.
• 35:37
  If
• 35:37
  you're
• 35:37
  having
• 35:38
  trouble
• 35:38
  with
• 35:38
  prompts,
• 35:38
  get
• 35:38
  the
• 35:39
  little
• 35:39
  prompt
• 35:39
  deck.
• 35:40
  There's
• 35:40
  nothing
• 35:40
  more
• 35:41
  releasing
• 35:41
  than
• 35:42
  just
• 35:43
  getting
• 35:43
  it
• 35:43
  out
• 35:43
  of
• 35:44
  your-
• 35:44
  Yes
• 35:44
  cells,
• 35:45
  and
• 35:45
  oh
• 35:45
  my
• 35:46
  gosh,
• 35:46
  I
• 35:46
  can't
• 35:46
  stress
• 35:47
  it
• 35:47
  enough.
• 35:47
  Enough
• 35:48
  people
• 35:48
  do
• 35:48
  not
• 35:48
  give
• 35:49
  it
• 35:49
  enough
• 35:49
  credit.
• 35:50
  I
• 35:50
  regret
• 35:50
  that
• 35:51
  I
• 35:51
  stopped
• 35:51
  writing
• 35:51
  and
• 35:52
  stopped
• 35:52
  journaling
• 35:52
  for
• 35:53
  years
• 35:53
  because
• 35:53
  I
• 35:54
  was
• 35:54
  just
• 35:54
  afraid
• 35:54
  somebody
• 35:54
  was
• 35:54
  gonna
• 35:55
  read
• 35:55
  it.
• 35:55
  And
• 35:55
  then
• 35:56
  I
• 35:56
  finally
• 35:56
  was-
• 35:56
  Okay,
• 35:56
  so-
• 35:57
  Screw
• 35:57
  that,
• 35:57
  I
• 35:58
  don't
• 35:58
  care
• 35:58
  and
• 35:58
  that's,
• 35:59
  it's
• 35:59
  a
• 35:59
  perfect
• 36:00
  opportunity
• 36:01
  now
• 36:02
  retrospective-
• 36:03
  y-
• 36:03
  we
• 36:03
  can't
• 36:03
  do
• 36:03
  anything
• 36:03
  about
• 36:04
  that,
• 36:04
  but
• 36:05
  the
• 36:05
  fact
• 36:05
  that
• 36:05
  you
• 36:05
  don't
• 36:06
  have
• 36:06
  that
• 36:06
  fear
• 36:07
  stopping
• 36:07
  you
• 36:07
  now,
• 36:09
  fantastic.
• 36:10
  Mm-hmm.
• 36:11
  Yep.
• 36:12
  Anyway.
• 36:13
  Yeah.
• 36:13
  You're
• 36:13
  a
• 36:13
  doll,
• 36:13
  Tammy.
• 36:14
  Thank
• 36:15
  you
• 36:15
  so
• 36:15
  much.
• 36:15
  And
• 36:16
  you
• 36:16
  all
• 36:16
  have
• 36:16
  a
• 36:16
  very
• 36:17
  blessed
• 36:17
  day,
• 36:17
  and
• 36:17
  thank
• 36:18
  you
• 36:18
  again,
• 36:18
  Sherry.
• 36:19
  Appreciate
• 36:19
  it
• 36:19
  so
• 36:19
  much.
• 36:20
  Lots
• 36:20
  of
• 36:20
  love.
• 36:21
  Thanks.
• 36:22
  Thanks.