Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Swim Neck Surgery

Transcript

Phone Tap: Swim Neck Surgery · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's almost time for your prank call. It's Brooke and
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning. And youth sports are getting more
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: and more competitive every single year. It's wild and more expensive.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: And I'm not just talking about select teams. I'm talking
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: about school athletics, too. And that's why today I call
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: a woman to tell her that we see huge potential.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: in her son's athletic journey. Oh, no.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Don't start this.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: But we believe he can be better if she gives
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: us the okay to do whatever it takes to give
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: him the ultimate edge over the competition.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Why do I feel like she's going to say yes
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: no matter what?
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: You're going to find out in your phone tap right now.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Hello?
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm looking to speak with the parents of Connor
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: P * * * o.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Uh, this is his mom.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Hi, are you, are you, uh, let me see. Is
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: this Tara? Terry. Terry. I apologize.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Hi, Terry.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I'm the swim coach over at high school. My name's
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Huck Treadwell.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Hi, how are you?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: I'm doing good. Listen, I'm calling because I just met
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: with Connor and even though he's a freshman, he said
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: his goal was to swim for the varsity team this year.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he does want to swim varsity. He's really
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: excited about it.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: I'm more excited because I believe that he has the
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: potential to become the next great swimmer in our district.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Which is why Connor and I discussed his options, and
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: we both agree he'd be a great candidate for surgery.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Surgery? He's not hurt.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Well, no, this is a different type of procedure. It's
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: called a breathing bypass surgery.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know what that is.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Basically, excellent swimmers, like your son, specifically in the crawl
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: stroke category, can shave two whole seconds off their lap
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: time by surgically placing a small tube in a hole
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: in the back of their neck.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: What?! Are you joking?
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: No, because the hole allows them to breathe without needing
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: to turn their head out of the water.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Are you serious? I have never heard of anything like
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: this in my life.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, ma'am, you would not believe it. It is running
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: rampant right now through the colleges. Every athlete is trying
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: to get an edge. I'm sure you can understand.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: No, I don't have to understand anything. I'm about to
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: get on the phone with the principal and have a
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: long conversation.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Listen, I understand that the thought of surgery can sound
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: a little ridiculous, but even the butterfly kids are putting
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: portholes into their armpits. Have you heard that?
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Have I heard of kids getting portholes in their arms
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: to help them swim? No, I haven't. What kind of
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: coach are you?
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: This is not me, man. This is from the latest
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Sports Illustrated.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, are you talking about the swimsuit issue?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I don't think that you should be a coach. No,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: not the swim, just normal, the sports.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Although I will admit the swimsuit issue is one of
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: my favorites.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: So inappropriate.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about an actual athlete, a girl who got
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: a full scholarship to USC after she received a gilloplasty.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: A gillow what? I actually think you're out of your mind.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: It's called a gilloplasty.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: No, don't say that word again. I'm going to have
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: a stroke.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: It sounds worse than it is. It's just installing gills
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: into the side of her head.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: No, that's insane. That's ridiculous. I'm going to hang up
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: with you now and call the principal. Never talk to
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: my son again.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Ma'am, I'm getting that you're like angry with me, but
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: you need to understand if we do nothing, then your
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: son is going to be left behind.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Yes, but he's not.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Others will leave him. I don't want to crush Connor's
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: dreams that way. Do you?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I don't want Connor to have unnecessary, ridiculous surgery because
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: a maniac decided it was a good idea.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: So I think this isn't a new thing. I had
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: three students do it last year with incredible success.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Does the school know about this?
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: They do. They signed off on it. And the only
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I don't believe you.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: I don't believe you.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I will say the one drawback that we had was Thanksgiving.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: What the hell does Thanksgiving have to do with this?
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: We've had two incidents of severe gravy drip.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Are you telling me that gravy is dripping out of
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: the necks of your students because you had them do
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: some kind of stupid, unnecessary surgery?
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Just so you know, the hole isn't permanently open.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: What?
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: They can plug it with stainless steel stoppers or an
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: old wine cork if you're in a pinch.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: No, I don't want to hear any more. You're going
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: to get fired.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: You might be right if I actually worked for the school. Unfortunately,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I don't, though. I'm actually a radio host doing a
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: prank phone call on you.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: What?
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: My actual name is Jeff from the radio show Brooke
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the Morning, and Connor wanted us to
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: do a phone tap on you. What? It's a joke. Connor,
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: he listens to our show. He told us to reach
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: out and prank you because he said he's going into
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: high school this year and you were really nervous about
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: him getting older.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Do you think this is funny?
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Is it too weird?
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: You're asking me if it's too weird to call and
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: tell me that you're putting a surgical hole in the
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: back of my son's neck?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: It will shave two seconds off his lap time. I mean,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Connor liked the idea. I don't know, young people and
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: their humor. And neither is his neck. And we can
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: do something about it. Broken Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.