Latest / Cameron's Conversations: The last weight loss podcast you'll ever need. / Episode 56: Use THIS mindset to make weight loss feel easier
Transcript
- Cameron Cummings: Welcome to the Cameron's Conversations podcast. And in today's episode, I'm gonna talk about my mindset towards weight loss and the mindset I encourage clients to adopt. So this mindset's all about not feeling hard done by. That's the kind of way I like to phrase it is not feeling hard done by, by all the really minor trade-offs that we have to make. The thing I often try and make an example of is like you go into the office and your colleague is having like a wee snack or something, know, some biscuits at 11 o'clock and you know, maybe they even offer you one. If they're a nice colleague, if they don't, well, yeah, although they're not nice, it's probably a good thing. It makes your weight loss efforts easier. But you go in and they're having a couple of biscuits and you think, ⁓ so annoyed, I can't have biscuits. And then you get to lunchtime and you're having what you brought with you. You've picked something quite sensible. It's tasty, it's nice, but you know, you look across the office and someone's gone out for god knows what from the local burger van or you know whatever it is right and they're having or like they're having a meal deal with a massive bag of grab bag of crisps right and you're not able to have that or not able to have the crisps that you like anyway so you feel a bit annoyed at that then it gets to the evening and you've made a bit of a plan to stick to just a couple of drinks and you're gonna be a bit more sensible you're not gonna have cocktails you're gonna have you know a gin and you know tonic or something tonic or you have a whatever it is, Coke and Rum, these kind of things, Diet Coke and Rum, like whatever it is, right, you pick some lower calorie options, and then you feel really pissed off because everyone else gets to drink and you don't get to drink as much and you're really annoyed about that, and then you're so miffed about it think screw it, and then you end up just overdoing it, and then you probably have a takeaway on the way home because you think well I've screwed it now, and then the next morning you're still in that screw it mood so you think well, do know what, just have a couple of whatever it is, or like a fry up if you're in a state to do so. The problem is there, right, is that So much of that is kind of what you've enforced on yourself in terms of feeling hard done by. I often ask this kind of question in different ways, but one of the ways I like to frame it is like, do you really care? What I mean by that is, if you think to yourself, I'd ⁓ really like to have those biscuits, if I ask you the question 24 hours later, do you think you will A, remember those biscuits, or B, care? No, of course you won't. You don't care. Now, it's different if it's your birthday missing out on a slice of birthday cake or whatever like that might be a trade-off you don't want to make and that's valid absolutely look like but it's really easy and I do think that it's really easy after a period of maybe just eating what you want sometimes for months if not many years then it can be really easy to slip into that like everything's a huge chore and a huge effort and you're so restricted and the reality is that's not often that true like we can definitely feel more hard done by than is the reality right and this is something I say a lot because people sort of say like if I'm not that my calories are ⁓ objectively particularly low especially what my female one-to-one clients would be laughing if I was to say my calories were low because it's all relative and to sort of size and activity levels and all the rest of it but if you kind of look at it through the lens of Actually, yes, you're making some trade-offs. Yes, you do have less flexibility, but a lot of the things you're trading off, you don't really care about, not deeply, it's not important to you. Like, is it that big a deal to stop at two drinks and then move to non-alcoholic beers in the evening? Is it really that big a deal to not have dessert at dinner? Like, really, will you care a day later, two days later? Probably not. And I think that can be quite a useful mentality, is that food is always gonna be there and I often remind people of that when you're at maintenance you can be more flexible. Okay you can't face plant into every dessert every single time of course not but there's still a balance of like if I'm at maintenance and I want a dessert I can definitely fit that into my week if I'm at maintenance and I fancy three or four more drinks one night I can fit that in right like that's not a big deal the trade-offs aren't that significant in a weight loss phase you do have to trade off more but a lot of the trade-offs you actually make are just boring inane things that you don't really care about like yes it's nice to have a back at a crisps, but it's also not that important to you. It might be important to you in the moment a little bit more because you're hungry and you're tempted and you've not had so many in a little while and you quite fancy it. That's normal, but I think it's really important to just have that perspective. Like, you're not that hard done by. And actually, that isn't sort of like me trying to just be like a very sort tough love coach and be like, just get on with it. But it's more about a mindset shift where you can feel like this is easier. That's why I'm so passionate about this topic is it's not about me being like, just try harder, just get on with it. It's more almost having a more positive mindset to being like, yeah, it's not a big deal. Like if someone's, you say to someone, like, actually I'm not having biscuits, I'm in a bit of a weight loss phase right now, I'm looking after my health a bit more, whatever you want to say, and they're like, do you not miss having biscuits? You think, well, yeah, little maybe, but I'm not that bothered, it's only temporary. These changes I'm making, I'm gonna be keeping a lot of the habits, but I'm still gonna have more flexibility after the weight loss phase is done. That is a much more positive mindset to go out to that you go out for drinks with your friends and realise that the thing that hopefully we're enjoying about going out for drinks with friends is spending time with her friends is the bit that matters, right? Like if you're an antibiotic from the doctor, you wouldn't be able to drink and it wouldn't be a big thing, right? You wouldn't give it a second thought because it's not an option, but it's almost like that kind of paradox of choice a little bit where because there's that choice there, you then feel like, oh well, but I want to, and then you kind of almost have that internal friction. Whereas a lot of the time if you are just like, yeah, I'm not that bothered, like I'm not that bothered. in middle of a more sort of faster weight, more faster, a faster weight loss phase right now. Like I've got stag do next week. So I will drink a bit of that because it's my best mate stag do and I'm going to give some flexibility for that. But the five weeks following that, I'm not going to touch any alcohol. Like it just doesn't bother me. I'm just like, it's only five weeks, like literally 35 days. And then that's it done. Like, does it really matter? Is having a drink that important? Can I just have an non-alcoholic beer and have two of them and still be on less calories? Like, yeah, absolutely. So I think that kind of meant can be so bloody helpful when it comes to weight losses. Don't make it feel harder than it needs to. And I've talked about this before, like the language you use and the way we talk. Like if you sort of tell other people and tell yourself that it's really hard all the time, it will feel that way. Like a lot of the time when it comes to hunger, it's like you're not actually starving when you say you're starving. You're just a bit peckish. Like, and that's normal. If you're hungry half an hour before your dinner, yeah. That's what we would expect. In fact, there's an argument that that's normal generally, right? We shouldn't be in a position where we are chronically, constantly, never like, sort of so full that we never experience hunger or indulging every little tiny cue of it, right? You wouldn't do that with other emotions where like your boss annoys you a tiny bit and you just like have a go at them every single time. Well, you might be tempted. Like that wouldn't work. In the same way with hunger, like it's okay to have a hunger pang and be like, ⁓ actually I'm a wee bit hungry. Like I'm looking forward to dinner. Like that's a much easier mentality and like, my God, I'm starving. It's the same sensation, but the way we frame it matters. So I think that's a good mentality to take on with your weight loss phases, this idea of not feeling hard done by and challenge yourself to kind of like reframe it. I literally catch myself and I think it has helped me as time has gone on and I've done more than one weight loss phase is that I'm better at doing that now where I'll just kind of be in my head thinking like, ⁓ this is quite hard to be like, is it like, I'll have to go out and do steps tonight. It's like, do you have to go in steps or do you get some fresh air, stick in a podcast you really like and then know that in 20 minutes you're gonna feel A, quite like the fulfilled from sort of getting it done like you said you would, but then also B, like less stressed, more relaxed for the day, you've switched off a bit from work, like all these kind of things, like and you feel better and you're probably even sleep better. Like is it that much of a chore or are you just making a big like deal out of it Cameron? Like a bit of an internal dialogue from me there as well. And the more you reframe these things, the more you challenge it, the more you just don't like have the battle in. more as well. So hopefully that has been helpful and if you are struggling with your weight loss right now and you are needing a bit of a hand then in the show notes you will see the link to book a call with me and we can have a chat about one-to-one coaching, how it works and how it can help you. If you're a great fit then we can get stuck in and get cracking on and if I don't think you're necessarily best fit for exactly what I offer and I don't feel like I'm the very best coach for you then I'll also just give you a bit of guidance and a bit of a nudge in the right direction to go. So if Either way, you're gonna be in a better spot. You're gonna have a bit more understanding of where you need to go. And again, there's no pressure at all. So if you are interested in that, that's in the show notes. Otherwise, I hope you get a chance to enjoy the sun and I will speak to you later.