Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 608: If You Think It’s IMPOSSIBLE To Get Your Ex Back, Listen To This!

Transcript

Episode 608: If You Think It’s IMPOSSIBLE To Get Your Ex Back, Listen To This! · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:00
  Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
• 0:02
  I'm a deity and relationship expert specializing helping you
• 0:06
  get your ex back or to get over your ex.
• 0:08
  If you're listening to this, it's probably because you were
• 0:11
  broken up with or you had to break up with someone because
• 0:14
  they took you for granted, weren't treating you right, or
• 0:17
  they cheated. And I know that right now you're
• 0:21
  feeling lost and hopeless. So I am making this video to
• 0:25
  give you back some hope because you probably think it's
• 0:28
  impossible to get your ex back right now.
• 0:30
  And I have a client of mine who was once in your situation and a
• 0:35
  lot of the elements of her story are going to be resonating with
• 0:40
  a lot of you. And I hope that her story will
• 0:44
  uplift you and give you some hope.
• 0:46
  So stay tuned, but first I want to welcome back my beautiful No
• 0:50
  Contact army. If you need help to stay in No
• 0:53
  Contact, then be sure to download my app Silencio.
• 0:56
  The link is underneath every single video and podcast.
• 0:59
  And if you too would like to join our no contact army, all
• 1:02
  you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the bell
• 1:05
  notification and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
• 1:09
  nocontactsecrets.com where you can read two free chapters
• 1:13
  before purchasing the book. Okay.
• 1:16
  So she sent me an initial e-mail.
• 1:18
  I'm going to read some of it. And let you know what happened,
• 1:24
  Okay. So she said that she was in a
• 1:27
  long distance relationship for two years and they had an
• 1:33
  agreement that if either one of them met someone who lived
• 1:37
  closer to them, they would end things but remain good friends.
• 1:42
  And I said, yeah, right. I told her you she's being
• 1:48
  naive. That is not going to happen, and
• 1:51
  most people are not going to stick to that anyway.
• 1:54
  Okay, there's no way, especially as a woman.
• 1:56
  And you're bonded to this man because of our frenemy oxytocin.
• 2:02
  You're with him for two years or one year or however long it
• 2:05
  would have been, and suddenly he made someone closer and you
• 2:08
  think he's just going to say, oh, hey, I met someone and
• 2:10
  you'll be like, oh, okay, good. All right, well.
• 2:13
  I won't see you anymore. I won't be your girlfriend.
• 2:15
  But yeah, let's be friends and let's chat and catch up once in
• 2:17
  a while. That is delusional.
• 2:21
  Okay. So then she said that earlier
• 2:27
  this year she got two missed calls and a text message from a
• 2:30
  number saying this is so and so's girlfriend.
• 2:32
  What is going on between you? He won't tell me, she said.
• 2:37
  She confronted him and. At first he tried to deny it.
• 2:41
  That was just a joke, sure. And then he explained that
• 2:47
  they've been dating for three months.
• 2:49
  But it wasn't anything serious. Sure.
• 2:53
  And he said that he was finding leading separate lives difficult
• 2:57
  and sometimes lonely. But meanwhile, she said that
• 2:59
  they were constantly in touch every single day, via text and
• 3:03
  video calls, from the moment they woke up to the moment they
• 3:06
  went to bed. So I don't know how he found
• 3:08
  time to cheat, but okay. Right, so this everything he's
• 3:11
  saying is a lie. I'm lonely, OK?
• 3:12
  But you're talking to your girlfriend pretty much 24/7.
• 3:17
  So she said she wasn't going to be a side piece.
• 3:20
  He begged her not to end it, and then he called her a few hours
• 3:23
  later and he said OKI ended it with the other woman.
• 3:28
  Sure you did. Sure.
• 3:30
  OK, so they start seeing each other again.
• 3:35
  They continue seeing each other. And then he came to visit and he
• 3:39
  needed to use her laptop. And then later on she realized
• 3:47
  that he was still logged into her laptop and she logged into
• 3:53
  his account in order to log out. And then something about Google
• 3:57
  Drive automatically updates itself hourly with new photos.
• 4:01
  And to quote her, I was mortified to find pictures of
• 4:04
  him. And this other woman wearing
• 4:06
  matching pajamas, cuddle up in bed.
• 4:09
  Eww, matching pajamas. Get out of here with that.
• 4:14
  And they had a date on them. And this was after he had
• 4:17
  supposedly broken up with the other woman.
• 4:21
  So she texted him immediately. And of course he What did he do?
• 4:26
  What do you think he did? He lied again.
• 4:28
  And he said, oh, those are old photos.
• 4:30
  Yeah, right. So obviously she didn't buy it.
• 4:36
  And then of course he said he was sorry that he lied, he
• 4:39
  regretted his decision, blah blah, blah.
• 4:42
  He understood if she never wanted to see him again, and
• 4:46
  he's texting her this and she's ignoring him.
• 4:51
  He's, you know, once again, he apologizes, she's ignoring him.
• 4:54
  So she says to me, I still haven't contacted him.
• 4:56
  I don't even know if I want him back.
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  My head and my heart are so conflicted.
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  Of course I still care deeply. And despite my most logical
• 5:03
  argument, never speak to him again.
• 5:04
  It kills me to know that this other woman may get him.
• 5:07
  And I said, what, is she getting a liar and a cheater?
• 5:11
  It's not like she's getting some prize.
• 5:13
  If anything, you should feel sorry for her, never mind
• 5:17
  killing you that she's getting him.
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  And so she goes. It's taken every fiber of my
• 5:26
  being to not reach out and call him every name under the sun.
• 5:29
  And accuse him of lying in the 1st place.
• 5:31
  Well, he already knows he lied. So you're stating the obvious
• 5:36
  and you know what's that going to do?
• 5:37
  You're going to feel better for 5 minutes and then you're going
• 5:42
  to go right back to feeling terrible.
• 5:44
  And when you do that, when you act crazy, all you're doing is
• 5:49
  that you're showing that you have a very high interest level
• 5:51
  in them and they know they have an excellent chance.
• 5:54
  Of getting you back. You boost their ego.
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  You're actually giving them Peace of Mind by acting crazy.
• 6:00
  They think, wow, I'm so amazing, this person is out of control.
• 6:04
  Look at them. They can't control themselves.
• 6:05
  They're freaking out. Look how wonderful I am.
• 6:08
  Don't ever give anyone the benefit of freaking out on them,
• 6:14
  especially when they've cheated and lied.
• 6:16
  You go straight and to no contact.
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  And then she goes. I don't know if he'll ever reach
• 6:24
  out again. And I said please, he will
• 6:30
  definitely, 100% reach out. Okay.
• 6:33
  I had absolutely no doubt he would reach out.
• 6:36
  All right, So that was the last I heard.
• 6:38
  And then a few months later, what do you know, I hear from
• 6:44
  her again. And here is her success story.
• 6:48
  So she goes on to say that four days after that last argument,
• 6:51
  he texted her and said, I miss you, Hope you know that, shut
• 6:55
  up, breadcrumb. And then eight days into no
• 7:00
  contact, he responded to a story on her Instagram.
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  And he goes, you look so beautiful.
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  She didn't respond, thank God. 39 days into no contact she saw
• 7:13
  with a text from an unknown number.
• 7:16
  And it said, if you haven't already blocked my number,
• 7:20
  you're about to get a missed call.
• 7:22
  I sat reading the message, thinking what on earth.
• 7:24
  Before I had a chance to even consider that might be him, my
• 7:27
  phone started ringing. I ignored it.
• 7:29
  My phone rang again. I ignored.
• 7:32
  I ended up with 9 missed calls and a voicemail.
• 7:34
  From who? His girlfriend.
• 7:38
  I eventually listened to the voicemail and she was crying
• 7:40
  uncontrollably. Exactly, I said.
• 7:42
  You need to feel sorry for her. I just made out the words.
• 7:46
  I found him looking at your pictures on his phone.
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  I deleted the voicemail, blocked the number and any future
• 7:52
  unknown numbers, and then decided to take action and block
• 7:55
  him across every single social media platform.
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  As far as I was concerned, I was done.
• 8:01
  I was not about to invite drama into my life.
• 8:03
  Way to go, Day 57. Interesting.
• 8:08
  Day 57. Would that be between days 45
• 8:10
  and 60? I think so.
• 8:13
  I woke up one morning and saw a notification on Instagram from
• 8:16
  an unknown account that wanted to send me a message.
• 8:19
  It was him. Of course it was.
• 8:22
  And he said I know this seems kind of crazy and maybe I am,
• 8:25
  but I need to talk to you. I miss you terribly and no
• 8:29
  matter how hard I try, I cannot get you off my mind.
• 8:32
  I've taken some time off work and made a three hour drive to
• 8:35
  come see you. I'm staying at the hotel down
• 8:37
  the road. If you could please spare just
• 8:40
  1/2 hour to see me, I would be so grateful.
• 8:43
  I want to explain everything. Please respond.
• 8:45
  I'm so sorry for all the stress I've caused.
• 8:47
  All my love. Always.
• 8:50
  Well, that's certainly a significant message.
• 8:54
  I responded a day later. Good.
• 8:56
  She's listening to me. She listened to me.
• 8:58
  Yay. And I said I'm not interested in
• 9:02
  a man who's already committed to someone else.
• 9:04
  He responded almost instantly with a voice note and told me he
• 9:07
  had broken it off with the other woman because it wasn't over me
• 9:11
  and she knew it. He then sent me a recording of
• 9:14
  their breakup conversation over the phone and multiple
• 9:18
  screenshots of him blocking her on all his social media.
• 9:22
  So he had receipts. Good.
• 9:24
  I agreed to meet for coffee the following day.
• 9:27
  When he saw me, he broke down. He explained that he was looking
• 9:30
  at my Instagram every single day just to see my face, and once I
• 9:34
  blocked him, he lost it. This is why I say to block your
• 9:38
  ex. After, well, I say 60 days, she
• 9:41
  blocked him sooner because of all that drama with the
• 9:43
  girlfriend. But at some point, if you don't
• 9:46
  hear from your ex, you ought to block them because this is often
• 9:49
  the response. They free because they feel a
• 9:52
  connection to you as long as they can see your photos, your
• 9:55
  social media, your Instagram, whatever.
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  And then when you block them, it's like you totally cut them
• 9:58
  off, you're gone, You're dead. He and his girlfriend were argue
• 10:03
  relentlessly about me because he refused to block me or delete my
• 10:06
  number. He wanted to message me every
• 10:08
  single day, but didn't know what to say or how he could possibly
• 10:11
  rectify the situation he had caused.
• 10:14
  It got so unbearable for him that he decided to create a fake
• 10:17
  account on Instagram just to message me because he knows I
• 10:20
  reject unknown callers. So what did I say about the only
• 10:25
  reason that someone will come back?
• 10:27
  It's because they feel they will be happier and they need to be
• 10:32
  in pain. And this is what happened as he
• 10:34
  said. It was so unbearable for him, he
• 10:37
  had to do something, she continued.
• 10:40
  He was a changed man. I couldn't believe my eyes.
• 10:42
  He was so sure of himself previously, but now I had this
• 10:46
  broken down man sitting in front of me begging me to take him
• 10:49
  back. And there, ladies and gentlemen,
• 10:52
  is the power of no contact. Most people are bluffing.
• 10:55
  Most people wear a mask. They put on a brave front and
• 10:59
  you're like, Oh my God, I'll never get him back.
• 11:01
  My ex is so stubborn. Mike is so cocky.
• 11:04
  Oh, they're not interested. And then you find out the truth,
• 11:08
  as I often when I read the comments and the story you see
• 11:12
  lately, the stories of the exes coming back and crying and
• 11:16
  crying and this one broken. I was heartbroken inside and I
• 11:21
  wanted to desperately hug him and tell him things were going
• 11:23
  OK. But instead I just said I need
• 11:26
  some time and space to process this wonderful, great.
• 11:30
  She did exactly what I say to do.
• 11:32
  She's playing this perfectly. I love it.
• 11:35
  I finished my coffee and said goodbye and he's called me every
• 11:38
  day since just to check in. This entire time I thought he
• 11:41
  was enjoying life to the fullest with this other woman.
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  See, we don't know what's going on.
• 11:45
  We just think the worst. We just think, Oh yes, he's off
• 11:49
  with someone else. Or he's off with the girl he
• 11:51
  cheated with. He doesn't care about me.
• 11:54
  She doesn't care about me. I'll never hear from them.
• 11:57
  But no, we don't know what's going on.
• 12:00
  So he was not enjoying life to the fullest.
• 12:02
  He was miserable and she was continuous.
• 12:05
  I thought I was going to be forgotten.
• 12:07
  It was really difficult. But the no contact app help
• 12:10
  helped Silencio. The more the time passed, the
• 12:12
  more confident I became that I could do it.
• 12:15
  I still love him with all my heart, but I'm not sure if this
• 12:17
  is the right path for me anymore.
• 12:21
  So then I just got an update from her today, the day that I'm
• 12:24
  recording this, and she said that she asked him the six
• 12:26
  questions which you absolutely have to ask your ex.
• 12:30
  If they want you to take them back and I'll put the link in
• 12:34
  the upper right hand corner, you don't just take them back.
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  No, no, no, no. They got to pay a price.
• 12:38
  Also they got to have great answers to these six questions
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  and there needs to be a price paid, she said.
• 12:45
  His answers made me a bit cheery, I have to admit.
• 12:49
  He asked me if I would allow him to book a vacation to a surprise
• 12:52
  destination as a gesture of to show how sorry he was and of
• 12:57
  course. She said yes.
• 12:59
  Well, good for her. At least she got a vacation out
• 13:00
  of it and possibly him back if she wants.
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  So there you go. So anybody that would have
• 13:06
  talked to her before she heard from him would have thought, Oh
• 13:10
  yeah, no, he he was cheating on you.
• 13:13
  He chose the other girl. He doesn't want you.
• 13:16
  Forget it. Move on.
• 13:17
  You're never getting him back. It's an impossible situation.
• 13:19
  So it was long distance. There was infidelity.
• 13:23
  And yet she got him back. So I don't know what your
• 13:26
  situation is. It may also have distance.
• 13:28
  It may also have infidelity. Whatever the elements are, as
• 13:31
  long as you follow the strategy, you will have an excellent
• 13:35
  chance of getting your ex back. She did everything I would
• 13:39
  recommend you to do when you're broken up with or when you're
• 13:44
  forced to break up with someone and she got him back.
• 13:47
  So if you're not familiar with my strategy, I suggest you
• 13:50
  listen to my no contact playlist to understand what to say when
• 13:53
  you hear from your ex. When to respond.
• 13:55
  When not to respond. We don't respond to bread crumbs
• 13:58
  around here. I know.
• 13:59
  Everyone else has to respond to every single message.
• 14:01
  No, you wait until they say something significant and if
• 14:04
  they really care, if a guy really cares, if a girl really
• 14:06
  cares, they will eventually say something significant.
• 14:09
  If they don't, it's because they're not that interested.
• 14:12
  Okay. So now I want to hear from you.
• 14:14
  What do you think of this story? Would you have taken them back?
• 14:17
  What would you have done in this situation?
• 14:19
  Please comment below. And if you if you'd like my help
• 14:23
  to get your ex back, you can contact me at theartoflove.net
• 14:26
  and we will send you the rates. The direct link is below.
• 14:30
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
• 14:34
  If you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe and
• 14:36
  share. And finally remember that love
• 14:38
  inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
• 14:42
  Yeah.