Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Today's Word 4/7 | TRUST | Trust Yourself Thursday "The one person you keep doubting? It's you. That ends today.

Transcript

Today's Word 4/7 | TRUST | Trust Yourself Thursday "The one person you keep doubting? It's you. That ends today. · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Love and blessings and greetings.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is Thursday.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is Trust Yourself Thursday.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, today is the day we trust ourselves because the week can be a little long, the week can get a little hard, and sometimes you have to look in the mirror and look you in the eye and say, I trust you.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: I trust you.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And today, sweet spotter, we're going in.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: We find ourselves in the series called Today's Word.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: We've been doing a word a day, and we plan to do seven words for the seven days of this week.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Words that are going to empower us.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And today's word is trust.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Trust.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: The one person you keep doubting is you.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that ends today.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, can I ask you right off the bat, like, and I mean all of us, like, have we made promises to ourselves that we never kept or that we broke?
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever been there?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about promises to other people or commitments at work, not obligations to the people that we love or anything like that.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean promises to ourselves.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'll start on Monday.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's a promise.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'll get to that next week.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's a promise.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've been meaning to have that conversation.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm definitely gonna do that.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's a promise.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I gotta stop doing that.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's a promise.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'll start uh I'll start tomorrow.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's a promise.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I need more time.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's a promise.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: How many of those have quietly come and gone?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what nobody talks about when they talk about trust.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us think that trust is about other people.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Whether they will show up, whether they will follow through, whether they can be counted on.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Real trust, the real trust issue, the one quietly running our lives in the background, isn't about other people at all.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's about us.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, sweet builder, yes, sweet dreamer, it's about us.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And this trust yourself Thursday, we're looking at the word trust.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Remember Monday we chose the word move?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Tuesday we decided to act, that was our word.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Wednesday, we talked about win and winning.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you go back and listen to those days if you haven't had an opportunity.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And today we go to the root of these three words that we covered this week: move, act, and win.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: We go deeper because the word that we're going in today, the word that we're uh unpacking today, the word trust is the root of all three.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's what I've come to understand: we can know how to move and still stay still.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: We can know how to act and still hesitate.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: We can know what winning looks like and still pull back at the one-yard line.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason, more often than not, is the same.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: We don't fully trust ourselves.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's where the science gets remarkable.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, here on the sweet spot, we blend science, soul, and success.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to bring this whole trust thing into the scientific realm because deep inside your brain, sitting in a region called the anterior mid-singular cortex, the ACC, there is a structure that neuroscientists are now calling the seat of willpower.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right there in our brain.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what they have discovered about it is that it's one of the most stunning revelations that they have ever uncovered.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: The region of the brain called the ACC physically changes in size based on the way you live.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually smaller in people who avoid hard things.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Think about what I'm just saying.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: There's a structure in your brain, the seat of willpower, the anterior cingular cortex, the ACC that can be smaller or larger depending on whether you confront things or you avoid things.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it grows, literally increases in volume.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: When we do things we don't want to do, but we do it anyway.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of like when we say feel the fear, but do it anyway.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Many of the people I work with, athletes and high performers and executives, people who are on the front lines, police officers, they have larger ACCs, larger brain structures that are involved in willpower.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: People who have faced and overcome serious challenges in their life.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's you, right?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you've done it, if you've overcome some serious challenges, and I know you have.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the researchers are now beginning to think of this ACC not just as a seat of willpower, but as the seat of the will to live.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the soul, science, and success of the Sweet Spot will do for you.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: It'll give you research that's happening right now.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let that land for a second.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Every time we do the thing we said we'd do, even if we don't feel like it today, we are not just checking the box.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: You are physically building the part of your brain responsible for your willpower, your resilience, your self-trust, and your life.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: But conversely, every time we back away from what we promise ourselves we should do, every time we shrink and we hide and we don't do what we're supposed to do.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: The amygdala, the threat, the you know the amygdala, the threat detector.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about the amygdala here on the sweet spot a lot.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: The amygdala, the fear threat detector takes over.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So our brain doesn't just move on, it logs what we're afraid of, and it can keep us avoiding things, and actually, in some ways, hurt our longevity.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so look, the number one source of self-belief isn't affirmations and it isn't motivation, it isn't someone cheering us on.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's you understanding that you have an ACC and that you've got to take on the hard experiences, don't back down from challenges.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to master your experiences.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: You have to let the obstacles not just be in the way, but become the way for you.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta show up.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta do what you said you would do, keep the commitments, follow through, especially on the small things, especially when no one's watching.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because, sweet spotter, on Trust Yourself Thursday, every kept promise to ourselves is a deposit, and every broken one is a withdrawal.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the account we're building or draining is the account of self-trust.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Either you're depositing into your self-trust account or you're draining it.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now here's a piece that most of us miss.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: We think trust is something we need to feel before we act.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: We'll do it when we trust ourselves more, we'll try when we feel more confident, or we'll speak up when we feel we're ready.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: All that's backwards.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: All that's backwards, sweet spotter.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Trust is not what leads to action.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's the other way around.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Action is what leads to trust.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Every time we move when we don't want to, every time we act when fear says, no, wait, every time we keep the promise when the excuse is right there waiting for us, and we could give the excuse, but we keep the promise.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: We are growing the part of our brain that makes the next act of trust easier.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a metaphor, this is neuroscience I'm giving you.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we cannot build trust in things outside of our control.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's another thing to understand.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: The weather is not yours or mine to control.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: What other people think is not ours to control.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: The outcome of the game, the the illness, the the injury, it's not ours to control.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: But we still show up today ready.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: We trust in that which is inside of us because we know the ancient wisdom is gonna back us up as well.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Greater is that which is in you, greater is the being in you than whatever is in the world.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's a saying if you knew who stood beside you every day, you wouldn't feel fear again and you would trust even more.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Every time we show up, sweet Sparter, we make a deposit in the bank of our trust, our self-trust.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: We grow the structure in the brain that helps us live longer.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: We strengthen our will.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, and the ancient wisdom will not let us down.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: You don't trust you, you don't know where to turn, the ancient wisdom will come back to you again.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: In all your ways, submit, and he will make your path straight.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Lean not to your own understanding.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: That phrase used to sit a little odd with me, but I'm getting it.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't say don't act, it doesn't say don't try, it doesn't say don't, it doesn't say wait until you have all the answers.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: What it says is trust with all your heart and and submit to this bigger process and show up, move, and act, do your part and trust that the rest will take its place.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Trust the path.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Trust that the path will straighten as you walk, not if you walk.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Trust the process as you walk it.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not passive faith.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, we learned the faith with how it works, it's dead.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we learned this week about movement, we learned about action, and we learned about winning.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And now we understand that to bring that all together to move and to act and to win, you've got to trust.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: What are you gonna do today to show that you trust yourself, that you trust the process, that you have big faith with action?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: What do you need to do?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: What promise do you need to keep?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: What deposit do you need to put into your bank account of trust?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Today is Trust Yourself Thursday.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're in day four of the seven days.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're three days in, and we got three to go.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: For size, for soda, for success, we're doing it.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you trust me and you trust the sweet spot, you're gonna subscribe.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna go find the subscribe button and you're gonna subscribe today.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have a friend or you know someone that could use a message today on trust, share this.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow, come back for word five because it's finish strong Friday tomorrow, and we go in.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And Friday's word, sweet spotters, is the one that separates the people who almost made it from the ones who did.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't want to miss it.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Until then, stay in your sweet spot!