Latest / Bomb Life / Ruffling Feathers: Listener Reactions & Questions with Melissa Vogel |289

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Ruffling Feathers: Listener Reactions & Questions with Melissa Vogel |289 · Bomb Life

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I just want to bring light to this because the first thing that we usually take away is things that are good for us.
0:07
[SPEAKER_00]: We have terrible habits of like I'm busy, I'm stressed, I have like 80,000 things going on, and then what comes off like we have a whole list of life.
0:17
[SPEAKER_00]: What do we take off?
0:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Our walks.
0:20
[SPEAKER_00]: going to the gym, making time for our favorite spin class or yoga class.
0:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And it gets filled with like things that don't take any brain power, like extra time on TV at night, you know, or just more time for the kids.
0:33
[SPEAKER_00]: And we take off the things that we need most when we feel financially strapped when we start feeling anxious, depressed, overwhelmed.
0:41
[SPEAKER_00]: We take away the things that we need most that
0:43
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is your reminder, you guys.
0:45
[SPEAKER_00]: This is your PSA that when you feel overwhelmed, be very mindful of what you're taking off in your plate.
1:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Bond Life Podcast where fitness, vines, and real talk collide.
1:09
[SPEAKER_00]: This is it just about workouts.
1:10
[SPEAKER_00]: It's about transforming your body, mind, and life.
1:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Get ready for unfiltered conversations, expert advice, and the motivation you need to level up in every way.
1:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey everyone.
1:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the bomb life podcast.
1:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I am Melissa Vogel your host.
1:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the show.
1:40
[SPEAKER_00]: This is going to be a different episode again.
1:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really excited to do this episode.
1:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Now last week you guys got me and only me and it was a crazy episode.
1:51
[SPEAKER_00]: It was really, really good.
1:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I hadn't been on solo in a really long time and I'm like, it's time, you know, I have so many things that I want to cover and so many people were like sending in questions and then I get going on these really good topics to in my group, is it a bomb and I'm like
2:11
[SPEAKER_00]: God, I got a podcast on this because I have so many more of you that I reach on the podcast, and I do just like on social media.
2:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So I decided to do that solo episode, and I was not expecting or prepared for the type of response that we get.
2:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, I got to respond to this.
2:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I've got to get back on the mic and start talking about this.
2:34
[SPEAKER_00]: So here I am,
2:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm kind of like mixing up my schedule a little bit or shifting things around, but I'm like, I gotta get back on the mic and I gotta get out here.
2:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm recording at a totally different time.
2:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I usually do all my recordings on Thursday.
2:47
[SPEAKER_00]: If you guys follow me on social media, I'm always like, hey, it's Thursday.
2:51
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a podcasting morning around here and I talk about what episode to that in what episode's coming out.
2:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And today's a Monday.
2:57
[SPEAKER_00]: it's really weird.
2:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And I wanted this episode to get out sooner rather than later.
3:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't want to wait and shove it in somewhere else because I wanted it to follow up last week's episode pretty quick.
3:09
[SPEAKER_00]: So here I am on a Monday and the afternoon we don't have any games or sports or practices today which
3:15
[SPEAKER_00]: is like so crazy because I feel like we have something every day and I just feel like the universe like laid this out they're like hey here's all the responses everyone loves you going like solo on the mic so come back out now when I record you know it's
3:32
[SPEAKER_00]: recording in your in front of a camera and stuff and today i'm like screw it you know what i'm going to get on here just like i am so i have like my trucker bomb life podcast hat on and i'm still not work out close like i'm legit recording this in a sports brought in shorts i just got on from the gym and i'm like let's do this because my mind is like ready.
3:52
[SPEAKER_00]: things we're pouring in today and I'm like, let's get on this mic.
3:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So here I am in the raw.
3:57
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're new to this podcast, welcome.
3:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm super excited that you fell on this episode or found this episode or maybe it was passed on to you or you're just scrolling and you found us.
4:07
[SPEAKER_00]: This is going to be a good one.
4:08
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to get a real taste of me.
4:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you guys are a listener for the last few years, welcome back.
4:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Or if your new listener doesn't matter, I don't know why I said that.
4:18
[SPEAKER_00]: We're always happy to have you here and come back because the show isn't possible without you guys.
4:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, a couple of housekeeping things.
4:23
[SPEAKER_00]: One always always always go to the show notes.
4:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
4:26
[SPEAKER_00]: There's going to be a ton of information there and how you can book calls and links and sponsors and like all of it.
4:33
[SPEAKER_00]: So always go to the show notes.
4:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't ever miss that.
4:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I know I listen to podcasts and I always forget to go to the show notes and check things out.
4:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, man, I got to get better at that.
4:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're bad at that,
4:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's your reminder to jump in there so that's one always go to the show notes and I will put a link in there for you guys to click to book a call if you want to set up a DM with me my spots set up a DM with me what to set up a call with me my spots are limited I
5:02
[SPEAKER_00]: do so much with podcasting and my clients, my one-on-one clients in my group.
5:06
[SPEAKER_00]: So my spots are limited, but not impossible to get in.
5:10
[SPEAKER_00]: And if there is ever a time or not a time available, and you're like, man, I really want to talk to you Melissa, email me.
5:16
[SPEAKER_00]: It's Melissa Volko at gmail.com.
5:18
[SPEAKER_00]: That is our show email.
5:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So sending questions concerns, whatever, but if you can't get in on a spot, hit me up there, and I'll see what I can do.
5:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I will open up spots.
5:27
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're willing to talk,
5:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm willing to listen and I'll put that link in there because after today's episode I don't know you might be inspired to like go in a different direction and get moved to be like hey this is time like I need to do something and now is the time I'm glad I heard this episode so go there I'll put the link in there and then also you guys right and review the podcast.
5:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm guilty of this, too.
5:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I listen to podcasts and I'm like, oh my God, I didn't rate review it at all, or like follow and subscribe.
5:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So make sure you do those things.
5:55
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, that's my housekeeping stuff.
5:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna keep it pretty short.
5:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's dive into this because I don't want this to be a forever episode.
6:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I have no problem talking for hours and hours, so I want to jump in right now to this.
6:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, if you didn't listen to last week's episode, it's okay.
6:14
[SPEAKER_00]: You're going to get the idea of it, but I will encourage you to go back and listen because we talked about last week's episode was all about what you want versus what you're willing to do.
6:24
[SPEAKER_00]: And we got great like feedback on this.
6:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Holy crap.
6:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Did I get feedback that wasn't so positive?
6:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was not expecting that.
6:37
[SPEAKER_00]: We always get maysayers.
6:38
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we'll get DMs and emails that come in and people are like, you talk too faster.
6:43
[SPEAKER_00]: You do this.
6:44
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, people like to say shit all the time, but I didn't expect a ruffle so many feathers.
6:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And this episode did it.
6:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's dive in.
6:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's tackle that.
6:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Now we also got a lot of positive feedback coming in.
6:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of the notes that I got was I want more energy for my kids in this episode hit home.
7:00
[SPEAKER_00]: We talked a lot about like what you're willing to do versus what you want, which means.
7:06
[SPEAKER_00]: what do you want?
7:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I want this, but you're only willing to do this.
7:12
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a problem.
7:13
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a big problem.
7:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And someone else had written in, uh, I think this was a DM and they said finally someone called me out in a real loving way.
7:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Now that was my goal with this episode.
7:23
[SPEAKER_00]: My goal was to
7:25
[SPEAKER_00]: call you out in a loving way.
7:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything I do I try to do with love, always, always and forever, because I never want to be that person that's like mean and like in your face and like, tough love, I got to break you to build you.
7:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I think that's, I think it's ridiculous.
7:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm glad a lot of you got that and that it's all about
7:45
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, like with love, I'm doing this with love.
7:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And yes, I am calling you out, okay?
7:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's address that because a lot of people were saying that, like, oh, I feel like you're calling me out.
7:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I am calling you out in this episode, because there's so many people that like to bitch and complain about things, but they don't take action.
8:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're guilty of saying like, I want this, and they're only willing to do that.
8:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're continuously failing, you will feel like you're continuously filling.
8:14
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm only willing to do this.
8:15
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to be a millionaire, but I can only work five hours a week.
8:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's not going to happen, right?
8:21
[SPEAKER_00]: So what happens?
8:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm feeling it to be a millionaire.
8:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm constantly failing.
8:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm never going to be a millionaire because I'm trying to.
8:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I say I want to, but your effort doesn't match.
8:30
[SPEAKER_00]: That's going to mess with your brain.
8:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And then your constantly feel like you're failing, right?
8:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when someone brings it up, you feel like you've been called out in the wrong way.
8:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, no, I am trying.
8:41
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, this is what I want.
8:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I am willing to do this and they don't see how the want is way up here and the willing is weight on here.
8:49
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't see the gap and I wanted this episode to bring light to that subject.
8:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, this episode I want to talk about this more because it struck with some of you.
8:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, here's the part where we ruffled a few feathers.
9:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone said so many excuses, maybe not everyone can just push harder.
9:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, how's this.
9:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I got a lot on Instagram when I would post you know how we do like different clips and reels and stuff on Instagram.
9:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I got this one a lot so many excuses like maybe not everyone can just push harder and I'm here to tell you that your fitness journey isn't necessarily always about pushing harder just do to more just do more just go bigger or grow home that is like so not.
9:34
[SPEAKER_00]: the point of this journey.
9:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not about going harder.
9:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And you know what?
9:37
[SPEAKER_00]: If anything, I have learned over the years that going harder, it's not it.
9:44
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not it.
9:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And I used to be that person that was constantly like, go bigger of, go home.
9:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we need more mobile, but no rest, rest is for the weary and like, oh, sleep when I'm dead.
9:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that shit.
9:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I still do.
9:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, David Gagan's shit.
9:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I just love it.
10:00
[SPEAKER_00]: However,
10:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I was not paying attention to depleting my adrenals.
10:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I was not paying attention to constantly spiking my cortisol, and I wasn't paying attention to how necessary rest was.
10:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is one thing that I've been trying to do and the mission that I've been on with my social media and this podcast is to stop, slow down, hold on.
10:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Where are you out with your mindset on this journey?
10:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Where are you out with yourself love?
10:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Figure it out where you're at with your self love and your mindset and your confidence on this journey has nothing to do with go hard, like 10 more reps, like nothing at all.
10:37
[SPEAKER_00]: That's actually about stopping and slowing down and reflecting, journaling, breathing.
10:43
[SPEAKER_00]: yoga, meditation.
10:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've been pushing really hard on that.
10:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And so when I get comments up like this, it's like, maybe not everyone else can just push harder.
10:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to invite those people to go back and check out my social media.
10:55
[SPEAKER_00]: see what I'm about, listen to the podcast because that's not my goal.
10:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want you guys thinking it's about pushing harder.
11:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, every time I say something and I feel like I take four steps forward with a topic, I feel like I always take like five steps back because right after I tell you guys that, I'm going to say the exact opposite and I'm going to tell you, you know what?
11:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it is necessary to just go harder.
11:17
[SPEAKER_00]: how confusing is that, right?
11:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Melissa, I thought you'd just said, it's not always about that.
11:21
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not always about that, but sometimes, sometimes, it is about going harder.
11:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is where the real self-reflection comes into play.
11:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And the whole, what do you want versus what you're willing to do?
11:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And this self-reflection,
11:37
[SPEAKER_00]: of, shit, do I need to go harder?
11:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I need to do more?
11:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And a lot of the time, it is.
11:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know when people say, well, maybe not everyone can just push harder.
11:49
[SPEAKER_00]: What areas can you go harder in?
11:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Hate the word push, I'm not even going to say push.
11:55
[SPEAKER_00]: But that is something you have to look at.
11:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, well, I'm trying.
11:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't have any time, and I'm working.
12:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, that's great.
12:01
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you want change, look at your life and evaluate, okay, what areas do you need to go harder in?
12:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Where do you need to try more in?
12:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it with your nutrition?
12:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you need to clean that up more?
12:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes the answer is yes, for many people and they're like, yeah, I need to, I do need to like, quote unquote, go harder with my nutrition.
12:19
[SPEAKER_00]: It is hard though to admit when you need to up your game because we already feel like we're drowning in this world, right?
12:26
[SPEAKER_00]: We already feel like,
12:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm doing so much.
12:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you got to sit back and be like, I'm like, those words will fly out of my mouth.
12:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm doing the best I can.
12:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll say that to my kids a lot.
12:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, chill out.
12:36
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys give me, cut me some slack.
12:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing the best I can.
12:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And 95% of the time, that is totally true.
12:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I am doing the best I can.
12:44
[SPEAKER_00]: But there are times where I say it and I'm like, oh shit, am I doing the best I can?
12:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's hard, that's a hard pill to swallow.
12:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to really stop and think, am I doing the best I can?
12:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want those of you that are saying, well, maybe not everyone can just push harder.
13:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to stop and think like, are you doing the best you can?
13:04
[SPEAKER_00]: do you need to go harder?
13:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And what does harder mean for you?
13:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Because a lot of the time when we say that like not everyone can go harder, that means like not everyone can go faster or lift more or do more sets or reps or put on our time in the gym.
13:19
[SPEAKER_00]: True.
13:20
[SPEAKER_00]: That is 100% true.
13:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Not everyone
13:23
[SPEAKER_00]: can go harder in that physical sense, but you know what?
13:27
[SPEAKER_00]: There are a lot of ways that you can go harder to have nothing to do with the gym.
13:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I said before, nutrition, getting focused on that, paying attention to what you're eating, what shit are you eating?
13:39
[SPEAKER_00]: In, you know, treating yourself like a trash can or alcohol that you're drinking, like things like that, and then mindset.
13:45
[SPEAKER_00]: You can go harder on your mindset journey of like, are you journaling?
13:48
[SPEAKER_00]: What is this thing you sat down with pen and paper and just wrote out your thoughts?
13:52
[SPEAKER_00]: There's power and power in the pen.
13:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I tell my clients that all the time.
13:56
[SPEAKER_00]: You can go harder with like your meditation and just stop and breathe.
14:01
[SPEAKER_00]: When you're overwhelmed with an upset, how about we not turn to an edible or alcohol and just stop grabs some ice, like get cold hands, rub that bone behind your ears and like go harder in calming yourself down.
14:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I mean when it's like,
14:18
[SPEAKER_00]: do you have to go harder?
14:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And then like what areas and figure out what is going harder mean to you?
14:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it finding more joy and more peace?
14:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it in your relationship?
14:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you need to like quote unquote go harder in your relationships so you overall have more peace and safety and comfort and you can work through the ship that might be holding you back in the gym.
14:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, Bob and my fam.
14:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a question for you.
14:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you the kind of person who crushes it at work shows up for your family checks off every to do list?
14:44
[SPEAKER_00]: But when it comes to your fitness, your energy and your confidence.
14:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It feels like something's missing.
14:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You might be doing the workouts listening to all the right podcasts.
14:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you are listening to this one.
14:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But deep down, you know you're just kind of going through the motions and you're done playing small in this area of life, that's exactly why I created FitMine Coaching.
15:01
[SPEAKER_00]: My private one-on-one program for high-achieving women and men who are ready to level up.
15:05
[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't just another fitness plan, this is about building the body and the mindset to match the life you're working so damn hard for.
15:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Because success in business means nothing if you're hiding in hoodies avoiding mirrors or dragging through your day was your energy.
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Or showing up on Zoom meetings feeling good from the chest up, but praying no one ever sees what's going on below the screen.
15:25
[SPEAKER_00]: We're talking about fat loss, muscle building, and real confidence that bleeds into every area of your life.
15:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Your border of your bedroom and your parenting.
15:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You want it all?
15:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
15:33
[SPEAKER_00]: You should have it all.
15:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's go.
15:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Click the link in the show notes and book your free call with me today.
15:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's build the strongest, most confident version of you inside and out.
15:42
[SPEAKER_00]: you're ready for more.
15:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm ready to show you how back to the show.
15:46
[SPEAKER_00]: That is real.
15:47
[SPEAKER_00]: This is one of the reasons why in my one-on-one coaching, you know, not to like self-plug here, but like whatever, that is one of the reasons why in my coaching that I face this stuff with my clients.
15:58
[SPEAKER_00]: My one-on-one coaching isn't just about
16:02
[SPEAKER_00]: paying attention.
16:02
[SPEAKER_00]: What you're eating and going to the gym and your sets and wraps and talking about through those things.
16:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, no, my friend, we are diving into your relationship, your sex life, you know, communication that's going on because guess what if that area is tipped upside down in a mess and you don't feel loved by your partner that affects your
16:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Overall, self-love and self-worth and confidence, right?
16:25
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're someone who's going to your partner and wants to have sex, and they're like saying, no, we're coming up with excuses or like, you know, like whatever, you do that a couple times, true or false.
16:34
[SPEAKER_00]: After a couple times, you start feeling rejected, right?
16:38
[SPEAKER_00]: You go to your partner, you approach him, and you don't respond the way you want, and then you throw rejected, and then what happens?
16:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Then you stop doing it all together.
16:46
[SPEAKER_00]: You think that doesn't affect your self-worth and your confidence,
16:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, that can go into a whole other podcast episode, right?
16:56
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not going to dive into all that, but my point is that you're trying to do something and go for that in your relationship and you're getting turned down, that affects yourself confidence.
17:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And guess what?
17:07
[SPEAKER_00]: If your confidence isn't pretty good and we're working on it, trying to grow it,
17:12
[SPEAKER_00]: You won't shop for a gym.
17:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yourself love yourself.
17:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Worth how you feel loved.
17:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Your confidence that all affects whether or not you feel make motivated to go to the gym and improve yourself and get better.
17:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And you go into like, fuck it mode and you're like, why, what's the point?
17:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And you don't even know it.
17:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Because things are bad at home and you're just like, oh, it's dark cloud and you're like, what's even the point?
17:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, like think about this.
17:32
[SPEAKER_00]: This is one of the reasons why I dive into this with everything with my one on one coaching.
17:36
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why my clients and my one on coaching are just like phenomenal because we tackle everything now just only because I brought up this subject just to like kind of hit on this again, if you are someone who is going to your partner and this is for a man or a woman, either one, and you feel rejected and they don't want to have sex with you or like, you know, whatever we're talking about.
17:56
[SPEAKER_00]: that is a whole other level of understanding your relationship because then you're like, okay, why?
18:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Why aren't they responding the way you want, why aren't they wanting to have sex with you?
18:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Do they have something going on?
18:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, they're testosterone or they're hormones, you know, and like, chemically, they just don't want it.
18:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Are they out of shape?
18:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Is your communication not there?
18:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Do they not feel loved?
18:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, so
18:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I only brought that topic up because I know it's a hot topic.
18:21
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of people can relate to that.
18:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's one of the reasons why you have to address so many things when you're on your fitness journey.
18:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
18:29
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just about going to the gym.
18:32
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just about, hey, get motivated, feel motivated.
18:35
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to show up.
18:36
[SPEAKER_00]: it's a lot of things and yeah coaching can help you communicate through all of that.
18:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just wanted to bring that up that like if your partner is turning you down in that area just because I'm brought it up like there's a lot of layers to that.
18:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So be mindful, communicate, therapy, coaching, all of the things because I think all of those things can definitely help.
18:57
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the other ruffled feathers comments that we got was this sounded like
19:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Ouch, damn, damn you guys, and like that sucks.
19:12
[SPEAKER_00]: That sucks that someone listened to my podcast and thought, this sounded like blame, not encouragement.
19:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
19:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I would love to sit down and have a conversation with this person and be like, okay friend, tell me.
19:23
[SPEAKER_00]: how did this feel like you were getting blamed?
19:26
[SPEAKER_00]: How did this not feel like encouragement for you?
19:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Why did you not hear the message of like what you want versus what you're willing to put in and not be like, you know what?
19:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I do need to reevaluate this.
19:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I do need to take a look at this.
19:40
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like, think about that, like, why?
19:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would take this person.
19:45
[SPEAKER_00]: So this one's hard because this is a very, like, individual response, right?
19:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Like someone said this and they weren't happy and like, I would want to know more about this.
19:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, if you are listening to this and I got you back for another episode and you said me that message and you said the sound of like blame, not encouragement.
20:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to remind me, I've, I want to talk to you because that was not the point and I will challenge you.
20:07
[SPEAKER_00]: and everyone else listening to dive in what was triggered inside of you that this made you feel like you were getting blamed and not pushed.
20:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
20:17
[SPEAKER_00]: What hot topics?
20:19
[SPEAKER_00]: What hot buttons did I push inside of you that made you feel not enoughness, right?
20:27
[SPEAKER_00]: That made you feel like not worth it and like you were getting blamed for your situation.
20:33
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a hard one to tackle,
20:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Whenever we are improving our life, okay, this in this kind of goes hand-in-handedly, and I want you guys to think about this whenever we're improving our life, right?
20:44
[SPEAKER_00]: So whenever we're doing better and you're starting to lose weight and you're feeling really good and you go to a party and then a friend said something to you and there's dessert and they're like, oh, yeah.
20:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So-and-so is getting into shape.
20:55
[SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't want to eat cake with us fatties, you know?
20:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, and they say things are like, oh, good for you.
21:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess we're not all like good enough for you, or, you know, oh, sorry.
21:03
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't all go to the gym now, like you do.
21:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
21:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And they like say things to you.
21:07
[SPEAKER_00]: This is coming when you are doing better.
21:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And putting things out there and being brave, right?
21:16
[SPEAKER_00]: That will trigger that person.
21:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone else's insecurities.
21:20
[SPEAKER_00]: That is on them, not you.
21:22
[SPEAKER_00]: So never forget that message because as you get stronger, as you grow a six pack, as you start eating better, you growing and feeling great.
21:31
[SPEAKER_00]: We've talked about this before, but you feeling great and growing and becoming a better person and more successful or financially well off and wealthy like any way that will bring up things and other people.
21:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is their shit, that is their rocks to carry.
21:45
[SPEAKER_00]: But when they say things, we're like, damn, I thought you're my friend, I thought you loved me.
21:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, and then we take it personal, and then we take on their rocks.
21:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, we'll hear, let me carry your rock.
21:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why you felt like crap when I said that, but yeah, you're right, bro, like, I'm sorry.
22:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like pass that cake over, or give me that beer.
22:04
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, let me have that, because then we start feeling bad that like what we're doing is good, but it's making them feel like shit.
22:11
[SPEAKER_00]: That is their issue.
22:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't pick up their rock.
22:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have to remind myself,
22:17
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, every time I podcast, every time I put myself out there on social media, I'm not everyone's cup of tea at all.
22:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing the dating world, I don't mind myself with that too.
22:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, hey,
22:30
[SPEAKER_00]: not every guy is going to enjoy a woman that I speak my mind.
22:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I like to lift.
22:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I got a big mouth sometimes.
22:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm freaking spicy a shit.
22:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I carry myself in a different way.
22:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, I need to be babyed.
22:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, so if you're not mad enough to like kind of take over and just let me be like a baby and like, not a baby, but you know what I'm saying?
22:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, let me be in my feminine and you can't carry me than like, we're not a match.
22:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And you guys, that's okay, we are not everyone's cup of tea and every time I put myself out there, I have to remind myself of this that, you know what your message might not come across great because Maybe it's how I said it, maybe they don't follow you, maybe they don't, they don't really know and understand what you're all about.
23:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I get that a lot on social media, I'll put things out there and then people will be like, that was stuck up or that wasn't right or
23:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I get a lot of hate and just delete comments all the time that's like all we're doing because I just want positive on my page I don't want people to open up and like go to the comments and grab popcorn and sit there for the drama and I have to remind myself that when I put that out there that like
23:33
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going to trigger insecurities and other people, and that's okay.
23:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know that last week's episode, it wasn't for everyone.
23:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's okay.
23:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's going to trigger things inside people for different reasons.
23:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's okay.
23:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Remind yourself while you're on this journey that like what you're doing, even with the people that are closest to you, they're not going to like it.
23:55
[SPEAKER_00]: They're going to get triggered.
23:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And you're like, what the fuck you're supposed to love me more than anyone.
23:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, this is like upsetting you.
24:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Damn, you know, damn.
24:05
[SPEAKER_00]: So remind yourself of that, all right?
24:08
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a long road and I have to constantly remind myself as I'm doing this podcast that my message for several different reasons and not everyone's gonna take it the same, you know?
24:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of the other support that we got, though, see, it always flips, right?
24:25
[SPEAKER_00]: You get one thing and then you get the other thing.
24:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Your episode helped me stop beating myself up and start building.
24:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
24:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes.
24:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I shifted small habits, bedtime stretching, and I feel different.
24:36
[SPEAKER_00]: See, someone listened to that and was like, okay, this is what I want.
24:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I willing to do the extra work?
24:44
[SPEAKER_00]: And guess what, slowing down?
24:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Not necessarily about going big and going harder, but they stop.
24:50
[SPEAKER_00]: They slow down and guess what?
24:53
[SPEAKER_00]: they had small habits shifted, they started stretching and it makes them feel better.
24:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Now they're getting better sleep, they're regulating the hormone sport, more, they're starting out.
25:01
[SPEAKER_00]: They're differently like, there's like a whole ripple effect and that's something positive people took.
25:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And then there's some friction.
25:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what, this is what they said.
25:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna read this.
25:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't wanna get it wrong.
25:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's where this hits raw.
25:13
[SPEAKER_00]: We also got a lot of challenging questions or just kind of comments.
25:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Someone said, some of us struggle 40 hour jobs, kids, aging parents, willing doesn't always align with capacity.
25:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so glad someone said that because that was the whole point.
25:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
25:30
[SPEAKER_00]: That was like literally the whole point.
25:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, yes, I am willing, but like I'm dealing with aging parents and juggling kids and working, I'm willing to do this, but I have a lot other things going on.
25:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Totally fine.
25:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Adjust what you want then.
25:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're watching this, I am so sorry because I am recording at a different time and I've like glare on my face and coming across.
25:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So I apologize if you guys see this this sunlight coming through, but whatever,
25:57
[SPEAKER_00]: We're doing, we're doing the best that we can.
25:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna back up a little bit here and then it's on my face even more.
26:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, whatever.
26:03
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going with you guys.
26:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I know you don't care if I have gliers on me and many of you are just listening anyways so it doesn't matter.
26:08
[SPEAKER_00]: But my whole point is that right there, readjust what you want then, okay?
26:16
[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe it's not a question while I'm willing to do this, but right now I just can't do that, okay?
26:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Fine.
26:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I want you to go back and adjust what you want.
26:27
[SPEAKER_00]: What is it that you want then?
26:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's make that number less.
26:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I want to lose five pounds this month, but I can't do this, this and this, that I know that will require me to lose 20 pounds.
26:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So now let's break down to five.
26:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's start looking at what you want then and adjust the want.
26:44
[SPEAKER_00]: So then you don't feel like you're always failing.
26:46
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the whole point.
26:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad that someone said this.
26:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we got not such a nice comment.
26:53
[SPEAKER_00]: They said, this felt tone deaf.
26:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Privileged maybe.
26:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, I get this one a lot to just on social media in general.
27:02
[SPEAKER_00]: People will like to take away a lot of things from you know, be like, oh, well, it must be nice to work at home or you only have three kids where I got six or not everyone has this Melissa and
27:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
27:17
[SPEAKER_00]: People like to take away your progress.
27:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's so sad because, you know, I work really hard for where I'm at.
27:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know many of you work really hard.
27:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And you guys will experience this too.
27:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Like your Boston ass.
27:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And then people will be like, Oh, she can only achieve that or he can only achieve that because she's got good genetics or because her husband, you know, makes all the money.
27:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And so she doesn't even have to work.
27:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why she has time to go to the gym.
27:38
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, people are like, always trying to steal our thunder.
27:40
[SPEAKER_00]: They're
27:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, to be able to go to the gym and afford a gym.
27:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know, just different equipment and things that would be considered a privilege.
27:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that's nice.
27:51
[SPEAKER_00]: But you guys, there are a lot of things that can keep you in shape that are for free.
27:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Never forget that.
27:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And I rebuilt myself and my body after my last kid with no gym like.
28:04
[SPEAKER_00]: going to a gym would have been a huge privilege and I didn't have that then in my life.
28:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So I know what it's like to have, okay, limited resources and you guys that's what focused in fit is not to shamelessly plug again, but my online program focused in fit.
28:18
[SPEAKER_00]: If you go to it's Melissa Vogel Fitness.com or website I'll put a link to that in the show, focused in fit is a whole six week at home program that will literally get you focused and fit.
28:33
[SPEAKER_00]: people don't realize some of the tools that we have out there and it's that's partly my fault for not talking and sharing about it more, but it's proof right there that you can do a lot of crazy things to your body, the beautiful, crazy things, and you don't need a membership, you don't need crazy expensive money, you don't have to be privileged in certain ways.
28:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm glad we got to tackle that one, too.
28:55
[SPEAKER_00]: But someone said, I hear you overwhelm isn't a reason to quit.
29:00
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a signal to prioritize not to paralyze.
29:03
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
29:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I'm going to steal that one, prioritize not paralyze.
29:08
[SPEAKER_00]: But how seriously, how often do we just feel paralyzed when we have
29:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So much going on.
29:12
[SPEAKER_00]: It does it paralyzes us 100%.
29:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that they said I hear you overwhelmed as in a reason to quit.
29:19
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not, and you know what the first people do.
29:21
[SPEAKER_00]: First thing that people do when they are overwhelmed, they quit.
29:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I see it happen all the time.
29:27
[SPEAKER_00]: People are like, I just got so many things to do.
29:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't do busy to bomb anymore.
29:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I just got like A, B, and C going on.
29:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I just need to take something off the plate.
29:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to just bring light to this.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: because it is about prioritizing, not paralyzing.
29:40
[SPEAKER_00]: God, I love that.
29:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I just want to bring light to this because the first thing that we usually take away is things that are good for us.
29:48
[SPEAKER_00]: We have terrible habits of like, I'm busy.
29:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm stressed.
29:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I have like 80,000 things going on.
29:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And then what comes off?
29:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we have a whole list of life.
29:58
[SPEAKER_00]: What do we take off?
29:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Our walks.
30:01
[SPEAKER_00]: going to the gym, making time for our favorite spin class or yoga class.
30:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And it gets filled with like things that don't take any brain power, like extra time on TV at night, you know, or just more time for the kids.
30:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And we take off the things that we need most when we feel financially strapped when we start feeling anxious, depressed, overwhelmed.
30:22
[SPEAKER_00]: We take away the things that we need most that.
30:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is your reminder you guys.
30:26
[SPEAKER_00]: This is your PSA, that when you feel overwhelmed, be very mindful of what you're taking off in your plate.
30:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I guarantee the first thing you want to take off are things that help you, and it's how fucked up is that, right?
30:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that is when you need it the most, and we take away the things that are going to support us the most, because we're like, Oh, this is the least important thing because these things are all important.
30:46
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the least important things.
30:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's take this off.
30:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what?
30:50
[SPEAKER_00]: No, girl.
30:52
[SPEAKER_00]: boy, we're not going to everyone.
30:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think about that one.
30:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I hope this is like, I don't know, I just wanted this episode to come on and address so many different things.
31:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And you guys know me, I'm a talker, I can why just keep going for days, but I wanted to just kind of address these things.
31:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm not afraid to address negative comments, questions, and concerns that we get.
31:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, at all.
31:15
[SPEAKER_00]: But I want my message to be heard, regardless of how it feels in his triggered other triggering to others.
31:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how it's to say that.
31:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to stay quiet in like tipito around things because I don't want to like not hurt feelings.
31:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Like no, come on now.
31:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's all be adults about it.
31:33
[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to talk about this stuff.
31:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to address things.
31:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you guys keep writing in and sending me DMs and have questions like, let's go, you know, let's
31:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's what I want to leave for all of you.
31:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I want you guys to make a like a willingness audit.
31:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, right down one thing you want and then one thing you're willing to try this week to follow through.
31:54
[SPEAKER_00]: How would love to hear from you guys?
31:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Like right into the show, like right into me, it's Melissa Volko at gmail.com and tell me what that is.
32:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Like right down one thing you want.
32:03
[SPEAKER_00]: What's one thing, it can be big, it can be small.
32:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you want, let's say that one thing that you want
32:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, a common one will be like a flatter stomach, like that's kind of like a bigger but like let's say that's one thing that you want, okay?
32:16
[SPEAKER_00]: What's one thing you're willing to try this week?
32:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Seriously, that could be like walking.
32:21
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not kidding you and everyone's like walking, flatter stomach, what?
32:25
[SPEAKER_00]: No, for real, walking can definitely start shifting hormones, that effects in the midsection gut.
32:31
[SPEAKER_00]: It can burn calories.
32:33
[SPEAKER_00]: It does burn calories.
32:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't mean it can.
32:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It does burn calories.
32:36
[SPEAKER_00]: It changes the chemicals in your brain.
32:37
[SPEAKER_00]: all of those impact the results that you get you guys.
32:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So think about it.
32:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Like what's one thing that you want?
32:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And then one thing you're willing to like shift and try just for a week and then follow through.
32:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's see what happens.
32:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just I love the feedback from you guys.
32:52
[SPEAKER_00]: One person that said this episode reminded me, self-care isn't selfish.
32:55
[SPEAKER_00]: It's survival.
32:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
32:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes this world can feel like we're just trying to survive, which I want everyone out of that survival brain, but we have to be real.
33:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, this is real.
33:07
[SPEAKER_00]: We're kind of in survival mode.
33:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like I was in survival mode all weekend.
33:10
[SPEAKER_00]: It was just a lot of things that I had to do and you know, being a single mom.
33:14
[SPEAKER_00]: It all falls on me.
33:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And it does make me feel like I'm in survival mode.
33:18
[SPEAKER_00]: So this week, I'm gonna try and bring quarters all levels down.
33:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Be very mindful of this.
33:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Spend a little bit extra time in the gym.
33:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I set it because I need that for me.
33:26
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I know my body.
33:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I know myself and I know it will be good for me.
33:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm gonna be one thing I want.
33:33
[SPEAKER_00]: is more peace and calm.
33:34
[SPEAKER_00]: What's one thing I'm willing to try this week?
33:36
[SPEAKER_00]: A few more extra minutes for myself working out.
33:40
[SPEAKER_00]: That's mine right there.
33:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, that's self care and that's that is how I'm going to survive sometimes.
33:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for listening again, you guys.
33:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, go check out the show notes.
33:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Keep writing in.
33:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a feeling this episode of Rufflefathers too, but I'm okay with that.
33:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm okay with like being that person to get you guys all think.
33:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for putting up with my fast talking middle of the day like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, let's go.
34:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And then if you're watching me too, or if you see to my clips, like I got all like the sunlight coming across my neck and like whatever.
34:09
[SPEAKER_00]: a little suntan of a chest while I'm podcasting, but I'm happy to be the voice of reason you guys.
34:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would love an opportunity to work with you all.
34:17
[SPEAKER_00]: We have a group program that has plenty of space and capacity to hold many, many of you.
34:23
[SPEAKER_00]: When I'm one coaching not so much, I'm only one person and I only take on a couple of clients every couple of months.
34:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So, and it's not for everyone.
34:29
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not for everyone.
34:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So, but we do have the group that is fully capable of taking on as many as we want and it's a lot less expensive to, you know, because when you work as a group in a team together, that's where you can like, cost it's awesome.
34:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So, check out the show notes.
34:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Just book a call.
34:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's see what a fit what looks like could be a fit for you.
34:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's focused and fit.
34:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe like, yeah, you're not ready for a program, but dude, go get focused and fit.
34:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I love you all.
34:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for supporting.
34:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, rate and review the podcast and I can't wait to get back on the mic and talk to you guys next week.
35:02
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, everyone.
35:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay safe.
35:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Stay healthy until next time.
35:09
[SPEAKER_00]: The bottom-life podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.
35:12
[SPEAKER_00]: The content shared here is not intended as medical, legal, or professional advice.
35:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Always consult with a qualified professional before making any health fitness, financial, or legal decisions.
35:20
[SPEAKER_00]: The opinions shared on this podcast are personal experiences and insight.
35:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you need expert guidance, go find the right professional for you.
35:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for listening.