Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Releasing Guilt & Embracing Boundaries: How to Journal Through Self-Doubt with Callie Martin Pierce

Transcript

Releasing Guilt & Embracing Boundaries: How to Journal Through Self-Doubt with Callie Martin Pierce · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:01
  Hello, Melissa Crook here with The Field Podcast.
• 0:03
  Welcome to today's episode, Releasing Guilt and Embracing
• 0:07
  Boundaries. How to Journal through Self
• 0:09
  Doubt with Callie Martin. If you're struggling with guilt
• 0:13
  from setting boundaries, journal it out.
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  Write down your thoughts. Ask yourself what is reality?
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  What is going on in my life? Why did I say no?
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  Ask yourself, what are my thoughts?
• 0:26
  What narrative am I telling myself?
• 0:29
  Recognize that the stories you tell yourself are not always
• 0:33
  fact and you can release yourself over the guilt from
• 0:37
  setting healthy boundaries. This is just some really
• 0:41
  practical ways for you to engage with today's episode and really
• 0:46
  just in your daily journaling activities or just as you're
• 0:50
  trying to unwind at the end of the day when you know you're
• 0:53
  needing to find some time for yourself.
• 0:55
  These are some really practical ways that we have utilized our
• 0:59
  on our staff and we hope that you find them supportive as
• 1:03
  well. Thanks so much for being with us
• 1:05
  today. Hello and welcome to The Field
• 1:23
  podcast. This week.
• 1:25
  I'm your host, Melissa Crook, and I'm back here today with a
• 1:29
  friend that I met in the last year.
• 1:31
  You've heard me talk about with a few of my new friends here,
• 1:34
  these wonderful groups of women that I've been able to join in
• 1:39
  this Fresno area in California where I live in and I met Cali
• 1:44
  through Fresno County Women's Chamber of Commerce.
• 1:47
  And I love this group. The women I've met.
• 1:50
  There's so much this is women supporting women right there.
• 1:54
  That's what it is and it is so much of that.
• 1:58
  And we met I think at the very first meeting, we were pretty
• 2:02
  new coming into it. And what I love about this too
• 2:06
  is this is women from all ages and generations.
• 2:08
  Cali is my in my daughter's age, age, my three daughters age,
• 2:12
  age, but there's, that's all of us are there and we're all
• 2:15
  showing up for each other and we're all supporting and
• 2:20
  advising and sharing and promoting and, and Callie's
• 2:25
  heart for what she's engaged with is, is very aligned with
• 2:30
  mine, that she has her way of going about it and doing it.
• 2:33
  That is so authentic to her and her story.
• 2:36
  So I knew from the day I met her that she was going to be a great
• 2:40
  fit for this platform and that she is somebody I wanted to know
• 2:44
  and wanted to be in connection with.
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  And you've heard from her on a radio show already on some panel
• 2:50
  conversations there and individual conversations, and
• 2:54
  now you get to meet her on the podcast side.
• 2:57
  She describes herself as a motivated self starter and a
• 3:00
  passion for helping others. Kelly Martin, Welcome to the
• 3:05
  Field podcast. Hello.
• 3:07
  Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and it
• 3:11
  really is. You hit the nail on the head
• 3:13
  with the Fresno Women's Group. It was both our first meeting, I
• 3:17
  believe, and I was like, we were meant to cross paths.
• 3:20
  So I'm so excited to be here. Yeah, it was really fun.
• 3:24
  And you know, Cali has had a lot happen in the last year, a lot
• 3:27
  of life transitions and we'll get a chance to get her for her
• 3:31
  to talk about that. But to start off today, Cali,
• 3:34
  and this is so much what is driven in what you do, but had
• 3:38
  to start with you and your understanding of this.
• 3:41
  So talk to me about the importance of self-care in your
• 3:44
  life and how that is unfolded for you.
• 3:47
  Yes. Well, that is definitely a
• 3:49
  loaded question because it has evolved significantly,
• 3:53
  especially as I've entered adulthood, gone through college,
• 3:57
  all of that. But I would say that self-care
• 4:01
  is huge and what makes me tick on a daily basis and not just
• 4:06
  function and to survive, but actually thrives.
• 4:09
  Because it's the one thing I've really learned through this
• 4:13
  journey is it's great to take care of others.
• 4:16
  But if you are not first taking care of yourself, then that
• 4:21
  capacity is very limited. And that took me a long time to
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  learn because I'm someone who prides myself on putting others
• 4:27
  1st and being able to help others.
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  But in doing that, I was the biggest hypocrite because I was
• 4:34
  not taking care of myself for a very long period of time.
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  And it's something that I still learn with all of my clients and
• 4:42
  people that I help on a daily basis.
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  And I truly believe that it's never a set in stone.
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  OK, I've got it figured out. It constantly evolves based on
• 4:52
  chapters of your life, which you said we'll get into.
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  So for me that's really one of the biggest key findings is it's
• 4:59
  essential for you to show up as your best self on a daily basis.
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  Yeah, yeah. And that and you can speak to
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  this too. You know, these are not the
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  scripts we get when we're little girls.
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  These are not necessarily the scripts we've watched the women
• 5:13
  in our life follow. What I love about your story is
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  that you've learned it earlier in life than I would say my
• 5:21
  generation, your mom's generation has learned it.
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  And I think you've learned by seeing a lot of things.
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  But also, so there's, so it's happening sooner, which makes me
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  so happy. But also it's still a journey.
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  You still have to figure it out yourself.
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  You still have to unpack that script and figure out what it
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  looks like for you. And that really, I mean, for you
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  to go in the direction that you've gone now, that's not
• 5:45
  where you started. So talk a little bit about that.
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  Yes, well and self-care itself has shifted for me and
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  especially I'm in the health and fitness space.
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  If for those who don't know, I coach one-on-one, but I also
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  really work with companies on bringing well total well-being
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  to the workplace. And so self-care, growing up
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  through college, all of that is it was the common idea of
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  self-care is a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates.
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  And, you know, we indulge when we can, but it's a very, it was
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  viewed in my head also as a very selfish thing because a lot of
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  that is they tend to be more vain tendencies, not just
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  whatever way you look at it, there's some sort of negative
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  connotation on anything in society.
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  Yeah, it took me a long time, but what I was have realized is
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  self-care is about balancing your nervous system, fueling
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  yourself with quality food, moving and exercising.
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  Not for aesthetics is what I like to say, or not for the
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  lean, toned, curvy body or number on the scale.
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  Those are great by products. But movement and exercise truly
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  is what's going to calm that inner turmoil, allow you to
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  refuel, recharge and show up for yourself.
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  And this is going to look different for everyone.
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  I used to think that it had to be a XYZ.
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  I'm in the gym for this long this many days a week.
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  And if I didn't, that's complete failure.
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  But really, movement is movement.
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  And so everyone has a foundational base, but how that
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  looks for you to fill your cup up is really going to come on an
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  individual basis. Yeah.
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  And you hit an important thing there too, where you're talking
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  about that why behind you're doing it, making sure it's a
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  healthy why I'm doing this for to restore, to refresh, to clear
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  my mind, to move my body, to bring that emotional, mental,
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  physical health spaces and health in alignment.
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  Not because I'm trying to satisfy a number or I feel
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  guilty because I ate that cupcake or you know.
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  So I think that piece of what you do is really important too.
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  Which does go into a double edged sword because not that
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  does not mean that every day I show up, I am motivated to show
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  up, but I show up because of the self respect, self-care.
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  Like you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself.
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  Most days I do not feel like showing up.
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  I don't feel like cooking the vegetables.
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  And so there's two different ways or two different extremes.
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  It's like, and I've been on boats where you take it and it's
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  punished because we ate this or we're trying to lose X amount of
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  pounds or we're not motivated so we're just not going to go at
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  all. And it's about finding that
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  middle ground. Yeah, I love that.
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  That's because that's life. That's life right there, you
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  know? So and so knowing that, valuing
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  yourself and knowing that you owe that to yourself.
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  I love that perspective to take care of yourself and honor
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  yourself in that way. That's such AI love that.
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  That's such a great way to look at that.
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  So, OK, so talk to me about confidently setting boundaries
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  because so many times you'll hear from women especially I
• 9:09
  don't have time or what about this or how do I do that?
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  But you also have to figure out boundaries for yourself and what
• 9:17
  they look like and what healthy boundaries that it's about my
• 9:20
  behavior, not someone else's behavior.
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  So talk to me about your journey with.
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  Boundaries yes, well, big saying has come for me of progress over
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  perfection and we can dive into so we can dive into self
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  boundaries and we can dive into other people boundaries and
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  really it will change with every chapter of life and I like to
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  call them chapters because you just when you have it all
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  figured out, something will change and starting over again.
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  But I think the biggest key factor is to understand what
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  values are important to you. And when it comes to what those
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  values are, that's where you're going to want to evaluate your
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  relationships that you have, the people you let in, the social,
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  all the way down to the social media that you scroll.
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  Is that aligning with your values?
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  Because remember, health and well-being is so much more than
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  just eat well, move your body. What is the content I'm
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  consuming? What are the thoughts that I'm
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  telling myself? And if those do not align with
• 10:25
  you, that's when it's time to shift perspective, which is
• 10:29
  hard. We have those conversations
• 10:32
  which can be tough but are needed if it is affecting you on
• 10:37
  a daily basis, your mood and how you're able to show up for
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  others. Yeah, that was you broke that
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  down really well because there is those boundaries with
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  yourself that you set of how when I'm going to get my rest,
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  when I'm going to make time to move today, when I'm going to
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  take some time for some quiet to decompress.
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  And there's those. And then there's those
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  relationships or how many commitments you make and you
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  know who you're going to give your time to.
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  And is that in an alignment with your values for the work you do,
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  but also in your personal life and how those things all fit?
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  Yes, and this has been something that I've really had to work on
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  because self-care for me is relatively easy when it does
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  come to, I know I need to move my body and eat the food.
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  But when it comes to more of the emotional capacity, and I'm a
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  people pleaser by nature and I'm someone who I actually recharge
• 11:30
  and quiet where some people recharge socially.
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  So then what you said of not over committing or overbooking
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  is something I've really had to work on this year.
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  And that to take that step farther is when you do say no to
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  not carry the guilt or Oh my gosh, they're mad at me.
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  Because this is a, it's all narratives that you create.
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  And the reality of it is, if they are mad at you, then it's
• 11:56
  probably not someone that you should continue to cultivate
• 12:00
  that close relationship with. Obviously, we have acquaintances
• 12:04
  and we have relationships, but being able to recognize and know
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  that you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea and not
• 12:11
  everyone is going to be your cup of tea.
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  And that's OK. And from a people pleaser
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  perspective, that is a very hard thing to come across and
• 12:19
  realize. Yeah, that's so true.
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  And you've like I said earlier, you've transitioned.
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  You've, you're married now and you, when I met you, you were
• 12:29
  still engaged, but part that relationship and that connection
• 12:33
  is what brought you here to the Central Valley here in
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  California. I mean, this is not where you
• 12:38
  grew up. So a lot of changes in your
• 12:40
  seasons and your locations within that.
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  And then you got married. So you're having to, every time
• 12:46
  there's an adjustment in your life, a new season, a new
• 12:50
  chapter, then you have to look at everything and kind of
• 12:54
  realign it with that, you know? And now as I'm making, creating
• 12:58
  these spaces and places to care for myself, to create healthy
• 13:01
  banders, I have a partner to consider in this.
• 13:05
  Am I communicating well with him?
• 13:07
  Am I making sure he's I'm not expecting him to read my mind
• 13:11
  and vice versa? Yes, well, and since we brought
• 13:14
  it up, we're we're recording this at the perfect time because
• 13:19
  not more change could happen right now than it has in the one
• 13:23
  year that we've known each other.
• 13:25
  So just to give everyone listening a little background,
• 13:28
  I've now lived in California for three years, so moved across the
• 13:32
  country to be with my now husband.
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  And in the past six months alone, we have gotten married.
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  I am six months pregnant and we are also moving literally next
• 13:44
  week and I am also growing and running my own business.
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  So if that is not changed. Oh my.
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  God, I don't know what is. So, so within that, this is a
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  really important point and I've got a follow up question for
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  that and it's two things have come to mind here.
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  One, this was when women tend to throw self-care out the window
• 14:07
  versus this is actually when you need it the most. 100% and I
• 14:12
  have never I, I'm in my own trial and I'm very faith-based.
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  So luckily I'm not alone on this journey.
• 14:20
  But I will say I was especially, let's break it down, just a
• 14:24
  physical standpoint form some perspective.
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  So I was in the best shape of my life, ran 1/2 marathon and then
• 14:32
  the next week found out I was pregnant.
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  And obviously as women, we know whether you've had a kid or have
• 14:37
  not, I'm quickly learning how fast your body changes.
• 14:41
  Yeah, from a physical standpoint.
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  And then just this stress, not bad stress, but positive
• 14:48
  stressors of marriage and moving and trying to sell a home.
• 14:52
  And so it really has been a trial of leaning into faith and
• 14:58
  also keeping the boundaries that I have established and following
• 15:04
  through on them. Because now more than ever, I'm
• 15:06
  so thankful that I've set those healthy habits of eating, moving
• 15:11
  your body, taking time to journal or meditate daily.
• 15:15
  Because now more than ever, I want to put all of them off.
• 15:19
  But I know I'm not just showing up for myself and I am now
• 15:24
  growing a human life. I have others leaning on me and
• 15:27
  if I do not prioritize these things, it's not good.
• 15:30
  And I can tell you, first trimester, some of these habits
• 15:34
  went out the window. And you're exhausted all the
• 15:38
  time. And nauseous.
• 15:40
  And so I just have to say God bless my husband because I
• 15:44
  picked a good one. He's very patient, but there was
• 15:47
  a huge difference in the two callies from first trimester to
• 15:51
  2nd trimester now. And the biggest difference,
• 15:55
  obviously, other than the physiological changes, is the
• 15:58
  habits and tendencies that I did or did not follow through on.
• 16:03
  That's really important. And I tell you, this is going to
• 16:05
  serve you so well, having established these things at this
• 16:10
  season in your life so that when the baby comes and you're, you
• 16:14
  know, you've already got practices in place that work for
• 16:18
  you. You know what the framework is.
• 16:20
  Yes, they'll have to be time adjustments and you have to work
• 16:23
  out a schedule to get help and support to help make those
• 16:26
  things happen. But you know their importance.
• 16:29
  They've already been established.
• 16:31
  You've already dismantled the narrative that it's selfish, you
• 16:34
  know, to show up as your healthiest self.
• 16:37
  These are an important part of your routine and that is so
• 16:42
  valuable. That's going to serve you so
• 16:43
  well because it's still going to be hard to make space.
• 16:47
  But you already know the proof is in the pudding.
• 16:50
  You've already experienced it. So there's no talking yourself
• 16:54
  into it or no having to tell you talk yourself out of feeling
• 16:57
  guilty because you already know they're going to get the the
• 17:01
  healthiest version of me that I owe to myself and those I'm in
• 17:05
  connection with when I do this. And I think it's really
• 17:09
  important what you just brought up there because not almost no
• 17:12
  one is going to be encountering all of these changes at one
• 17:15
  time, right? So I can already hear listeners
• 17:19
  because I get it a lot on a daily basis of the just wait.
• 17:22
  Well, just wait until the baby is here or just wait until.
• 17:27
  But I want to take a moment, acknowledge and give them in
• 17:31
  their space, but also know I work with women all over the
• 17:34
  country from all age ranges, anywhere from high school to mom
• 17:40
  and with five kids. And I know from that experience
• 17:45
  and learning from them, because I'm not the only one educating
• 17:47
  them, they're educating me as well.
• 17:49
  Yeah. When it is a priority to you and
• 17:53
  it's important, you will find a way or time block or habit
• 17:57
  stack. This doesn't mean you need a 2
• 17:59
  hour morning routine. It can be 5 minutes.
• 18:03
  Brush your hair. And the women, especially the
• 18:06
  moms and now have 5 kids and I coach, they're like, I can tell
• 18:11
  a huge difference in how I am able to show up for my family by
• 18:15
  prioritizing this versus before. And that doesn't mean that you
• 18:19
  need to hear alone time at the gym.
• 18:21
  That's great. And I wish we all got that.
• 18:23
  Yeah, include them. Do a home video on YouTube.
• 18:27
  There's thousands out there that are free.
• 18:29
  Movement is movement. And so this is more from a
• 18:33
  physical standpoint, that's what I talk on most often.
• 18:37
  But the same goes for incorporating them and cooking a
• 18:40
  healthy meal together to taking that time with God or taking
• 18:44
  that time to journal, whatever that looks like for you.
• 18:47
  And it's not about we'll just wait, meaning that's going to go
• 18:51
  out the window. It's.
• 18:52
  How can we pass this on to different generations?
• 18:56
  Yeah, because those kids remember what's modeling to
• 18:59
  them. They do, absolutely.
• 19:03
  It shapes them. If they see mom taking care of
• 19:05
  herself, they know that's important.
• 19:07
  They know that's something they should value.
• 19:09
  If they're a girl, they know that that's something they will
• 19:12
  value later on and make a priority.
• 19:14
  If you have a little boy, then he's going to be like, that's
• 19:17
  important for moms to do and it's important for me to honor
• 19:20
  that and respect that and make room for that and support that.
• 19:24
  I mean, there's just so many messages that come through by
• 19:28
  modeling that I think that's so powerful.
• 19:30
  The other piece about this boundaries piece, it's really
• 19:33
  hard to say no to things when you're establishing a new
• 19:36
  business because you, there's this idea that you've got to say
• 19:39
  yes to everything because you don't want to miss an
• 19:41
  opportunity. But then you still have to
• 19:43
  accept, OK, is this an alignment Every time somebody approaches
• 19:47
  me about because I struggle with this too.
• 19:50
  Every time someone approaches me with a, with a suggestion, a, a
• 19:54
  prom, you know, something they want to collaborate on, whatever
• 19:58
  it is I take, you know, is this something that aligns with me?
• 20:02
  Is this something I've already incorporated?
• 20:05
  And I don't necessarily need this.
• 20:06
  I wish them well. I want to support them.
• 20:09
  But you know, it's OK to say no to them, you know, because it's
• 20:13
  somebody, Valerie Rivera, a friend that I had on in season 4
• 20:17
  and we're going to bring her back again next fall.
• 20:20
  But she said said one of the simplest but important things.
• 20:23
  Whatever you're saying yes to, you're saying.
• 20:26
  Say no to something else. So you better be OK with
• 20:29
  whatever that thing is you're saying no to, and that no cannot
• 20:33
  be to yourself time and time again or you will never be able
• 20:37
  to sustain. Yes.
• 20:39
  Well, again, we're recording this at the perfect time because
• 20:43
  I am to be honest, I don't want to be a hypocrite.
• 20:47
  I'm struggling with this this week because we have the holiday
• 20:51
  coming up, we have family events coming up.
• 20:53
  We have to move happening. My husband is at work.
• 20:56
  So I'm trying to balance all of this.
• 20:58
  But on top of that, I also have about 3 networking events that I
• 21:02
  would like to attend. And I know that will be, there's
• 21:05
  never been a networking event that I didn't, that I regret it.
• 21:08
  Yeah. And so and then with just the
• 21:11
  pregnancy, it's like the fatigue or knowing my boundaries on sure
• 21:15
  not I'm not in the same capacity I was.
• 21:19
  Yeah, I am really struggling right now and was looking at my
• 21:22
  calendar this morning on what am I gonna do because I have to.
• 21:25
  Something has to get. Yes.
• 21:28
  The my heart is leaning into that the networking this week
• 21:33
  needs to give so that I can show it for my family because one of
• 21:37
  my values family and being there for them.
• 21:41
  But the CEO of the business side, the growth, the
• 21:46
  competitive ego is like we can make this work, but I know if we
• 21:52
  make it work the end of the week, Cali is going to be
• 21:56
  walking on egg shells. So to be honest I don't have an
• 21:59
  answer yet. I'm trying to see if I can
• 22:01
  manipulate and move some things around.
• 22:04
  But I'm glad we brought this up because that's something for me
• 22:07
  to keep in mind of what do what needs to get.
• 22:11
  Yeah, and it's it. This is so it's so good.
• 22:13
  We're getting this in the moment because Kelly got on and I'm
• 22:16
  like, how you doing? And she's like, I'm here.
• 22:18
  It's already been a Monday. That's life.
• 22:20
  That's what life is. So when we can have these
• 22:24
  frameworks that we can look back on and have to rely on to help
• 22:30
  remind us of like, you know, what something is going to give.
• 22:35
  And I don't want to be walking on egg shells because it's a
• 22:39
  holiday weekend with my family Egg shells, no pun intended,
• 22:43
  with it being Easter weekend. So although no, nobody can
• 22:48
  afford eggs right now. So be squishy marshmallows
• 22:51
  instead of egg shells. But I mean, either way, sticky
• 22:54
  or crack, either way, you don't want to be either way.
• 22:58
  And having that, you know. But if having these
• 23:00
  conversations with ourselves daily, taking a look at our
• 23:03
  calendars and like, what can give?
• 23:05
  Listen, I'm going to have these, these network opportunities are
• 23:09
  not going to go away. So maybe it's, and I had, I know
• 23:12
  what you mean. There's a couple weeks ago I, I
• 23:15
  wanted, I was trying to get to a luncheon and I really wanted to
• 23:21
  make it, but also I was trying to make it to, to not disappoint
• 23:28
  rather than looking at my capacity and realizing by the
• 23:33
  time I get there, it's going to be halfway over.
• 23:36
  I am going to have busted my tail and wore myself out trying
• 23:39
  to get myself ready and in the right mind space to be there for
• 23:43
  half of a thing. And when it's when it's, it's OK
• 23:48
  for me to just say not today, not today.
• 23:51
  And, and it's always a tricky line because I was right up
• 23:55
  against it. I'm like, Nope, this.
• 23:57
  I'm going to trust my inner knowing.
• 23:59
  I'm going to trust my intuition and I'm going to say no to that
• 24:02
  thing. And I'm 55 and I'm still
• 24:04
  figuring it out. So, so I, you know, but that's
• 24:07
  life. That's life.
• 24:08
  And sometimes these conversations come up exactly
• 24:11
  when we need to be reminded of those moments.
• 24:15
  Yeah, no. And I'm glad you said that
• 24:17
  because the biggest thing I struggle with is I know there
• 24:20
  will be more networking events and apply this to your own life
• 24:23
  however that looks there will be more social outings or what XYZ.
• 24:27
  But what I struggle with and have found and realized the most
• 24:30
  is are they going to be mad at me just like you said or like am
• 24:34
  I going to disappoint or is this a miss Like are they going to
• 24:39
  write me off? And in most cases, you're the
• 24:43
  one that spends most of the time and the energy worried about
• 24:47
  that when they're like, oh, maybe that happens.
• 24:48
  She'll be at the next one. But the people pleasing mindset
• 24:52
  is like, we're going to dwell on this for three days.
• 24:55
  Yeah, that's where it's really been of the shutting that down.
• 24:59
  Whether that's like physically telling yourself enough.
• 25:02
  Sometimes what I've found is like, because I know I'm not
• 25:05
  alone, I'm struggling with this physically writing it down,
• 25:10
  journal it out and then ask yourself at the bottom is what
• 25:14
  is reality? And what is my thought?
• 25:17
  Because a lot of times, yes, because when you read the paper,
• 25:21
  you're like, Oh my gosh, they hate me.
• 25:23
  And then it's like, well, what is reality?
• 25:25
  They have no idea what you're doing.
• 25:27
  They don't know you're running to five events, you're doing all
• 25:29
  these things. And so if you struggle with
• 25:32
  that, that is something that I would recommend and really helps
• 25:35
  is stop yourself, write it down and ask yourself what is real.
• 25:40
  Yes, because our thoughts are not necessarily truth and we
• 25:44
  treat our thoughts as truth and that's what gets us in trouble.
• 25:47
  And 90% of it is something we have circulated in our brains
• 25:51
  that no ones going to be mad at us and they may miss us and but
• 25:56
  you know, but they maybe they won't.
• 25:58
  I mean, you know, they might not even notice, not in a bad way,
• 26:01
  just you know, like they'll, they'll guess that life came up
• 26:05
  and life is happening and she's busy and we'll see her next
• 26:07
  time. I mean, there's, it's always so
• 26:09
  much simpler than usually then we conjured up in our heads.
• 26:13
  And if it isn't simpler, that might not be a group you want to
• 26:16
  be affiliated with. So keep.
• 26:18
  That in mind as well. Yeah, we're not just
• 26:21
  egotistically wise. We're not the star of everyone's
• 26:25
  world. Absolutely.
• 26:26
  It's the. Star of their own world.
• 26:28
  So they 2 seconds later they're not even thinking about you.
• 26:31
  And like, as insulting as that may sound, it's also a relief
• 26:36
  'cause it's like. Yeah, it takes the pressure off.
• 26:41
  Yes, that ego. Go and tell it OK, you're safe
• 26:45
  because it just wants to protect itself.
• 26:47
  It's like you're fine, you're important, but we're just moving
• 26:50
  on. Yeah, 100%.
• 26:53
  That's really well said. Thank you.
• 26:54
  And this goes nicely into and you're dealing with all of this
• 26:57
  right now taking care of our mental health, emotional health,
• 27:00
  physical health. You are in a a wave of emotions
• 27:05
  right now. Welcome to it, my friend.
• 27:08
  I mean, it is, it's just a circle and think like you're
• 27:11
  like what is happening to my body and my mind and everything
• 27:16
  right now because it's, there's nothing like it going through it
• 27:19
  the first time. And so you're, it's one thing to
• 27:22
  manage it on the daily, just in general, but you're in this
• 27:25
  whole season of managing it. So, but it's all connected.
• 27:30
  Like we can feel it in our bodies when we have not moved
• 27:33
  things through. And I know how aware you are of
• 27:36
  this. So talk to me about your journey
• 27:38
  with when you understood or recognize that mental,
• 27:42
  emotional, physical health connection and how it's informed
• 27:45
  how you operate in the world now.
• 27:49
  Yes, well, and it's still not perfect because like you said,
• 27:53
  I'm go, I'm going through it over here right now.
• 27:55
  And yes, you are my husband for being patient, a very patient
• 28:01
  man. But I will say that that is one
• 28:04
  of the most important things is having a strong support system.
• 28:09
  And that is not, and I know that not everyone has that, but that
• 28:12
  does not have to mean it is a spouse.
• 28:15
  It could be a parent, it may not be a parent.
• 28:18
  It could be a friend or someone in the community or someone, a
• 28:22
  mentor. It could God, whatever they you
• 28:27
  feel a strong relationship or someone you can trust in your
• 28:30
  life. That is huge because when you
• 28:33
  can voice those, and I'm not saying call your friend and
• 28:36
  trauma dump all over them. Yeah.
• 28:39
  But when you have someone you know who's in your corner, it
• 28:42
  makes it a little easier to start to navigate your voice or
• 28:46
  be like, hey, I'm going through this and I don't really need to
• 28:49
  dump it on you, but just know this is what's going on.
• 28:53
  If you could check in every now and again.
• 28:56
  The other thing I will say transparency that has helped me
• 29:00
  in my journey is therapy. And I am a huge advocate for
• 29:05
  therapy. And this is actually something
• 29:07
  for a long time I avoided like the plague and I thought that it
• 29:14
  showed weakness, that there was something wrong with you.
• 29:17
  And furthermore, I've learned I, I spent a lot of time in therapy
• 29:22
  and just like, just like life, there are chapters.
• 29:25
  So I'm not saying I will never be back there, but it's not a
• 29:30
  negative connotation. And there's a huge difference if
• 29:34
  you're someone who has never gone before.
• 29:37
  There's a huge difference between like psychiatrists and
• 29:41
  even just social workers or counselors.
• 29:44
  And I personally prefer the social worker or counselor just
• 29:47
  because it's more so someone to talk to as a non biased third
• 29:51
  party and help you help you work through your thoughts if the
• 29:54
  journal is not working for you. Yes.
• 29:58
  I will tell you it takes a long time.
• 30:01
  Well it doesn't. It may.
• 30:03
  There's a shortage of professionals out there so and
• 30:09
  not everyone is a fit. So I will tell you do not give
• 30:13
  up on your first one. I did give up on the first one
• 30:17
  and then went on a 2 year hiatus because I was like that was
• 30:20
  embarrassing. Let me just tell you I it took
• 30:26
  about 5 or 6. I even got ghosted by 1
• 30:29
  completely Wow trauma dumped my whole life into the intake form,
• 30:35
  ghosted me and then eight months later was like the reply e-mail
• 30:40
  of hey, do you still need someone?
• 30:43
  It's like, no, I know you don't want to.
• 30:45
  This is not what I'm saying is I don't say that to scare you off
• 30:49
  or anyone looking for that. It's don't give up on the first
• 30:52
  track Again, just like with life or relationships, you're not a
• 30:55
  fit for everyone. But therapy really did help me
• 30:59
  and what it helped me more of is not someone else telling me what
• 31:03
  I need to do. It helped me to uncover my own
• 31:06
  tendencies so that I know when I start to spiral.
• 31:10
  I have certain tendencies and now that I'm aware of them, when
• 31:16
  I see them start to pop up it's like okay myself care tank is
• 31:20
  running very low. I need to change something ASAP
• 31:24
  or this is going to get really ugly really fast.
• 31:28
  And then? On top of that, one thing that
• 31:31
  now that I'm not seeing someone, one thing that helps keep me in
• 31:35
  check is I do about 5 minutes of journaling in the morning,
• 31:38
  whether that's a prompt or just brain dump whatever's on my
• 31:42
  heart. There's Pinterest, Google, they
• 31:45
  have thousands of journal prompts.
• 31:47
  And then I also start with my day with either reading the
• 31:50
  Bible or like a 5 minute mindful meditation and quiet.
• 31:55
  Before. I dive into emails and social
• 31:57
  media and all of that in the days that I do, the days I
• 32:01
  don't, my tone for the day is completely different from one
• 32:04
  another. So yeah, I would say that
• 32:07
  talking to someone and journaling the morning routine
• 32:10
  have been the biggest changes. And then obviously you have
• 32:14
  those healthy lifestyle choices, eating, getting outside, touch
• 32:18
  some grass. Yeah.
• 32:20
  So it plays a huge role in all of it and it's all connected
• 32:24
  together. It is and all has an impact.
• 32:26
  It all feeds off each other. I'm so glad you said that
• 32:28
  because even today, even though we've come a long way with this,
• 32:31
  there are still those stigmas around therapy.
• 32:34
  And I'm glad you pointed out the different kinds because it's
• 32:37
  important to know that so you can know, you know, get an idea
• 32:41
  of where you want to start and, and, and I and what you're
• 32:44
  looking for, but be intentional. Know that everyone's not for
• 32:48
  you. You're interviewing that person
• 32:50
  as much as they are learning about you and, and, and really
• 32:54
  approach, just like in a job interview when you're
• 32:56
  interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you.
• 32:58
  Same thing with your practitioner, whether it's a
• 33:00
  therapist, a doctor, whatever it may be, finding that right fit
• 33:03
  for you, building that trust, that connectivity.
• 33:05
  I've had to do the same thing. And I think my personal opinion
• 33:09
  is like, I think everyone can benefit from some sort of
• 33:13
  therapy because of just what you said, though, even if you'd
• 33:17
  like, I, I've, I don't have a lot of trauma or in my
• 33:20
  background. Like we all have tendencies.
• 33:22
  We all have cultural narratives that we've got to overcome,
• 33:25
  especially as women. Even if we had a very healthy
• 33:28
  background, there's still those narratives that are there that
• 33:31
  aren't serving us that we need to unpack.
• 33:33
  And even just knowing our recognizing the cues, like I
• 33:37
  love what you brought up about the cues of recognizing when
• 33:39
  you've, you're hitting your Max point and how you can.
• 33:43
  Oh, oh, that's coming now. OK, I didn't miss it this time.
• 33:47
  I know what to look for and I've got and I know how to respond to
• 33:51
  this rather than having it creep up on you and then having to
• 33:54
  apologize and clean up the mess later.
• 33:58
  Well, I'm glad you said that because that was two things that
• 34:01
  were really big for me is I don't have.
• 34:04
  I grew up very fortunate, well raised, like there's no
• 34:09
  essentially no trauma in my life.
• 34:11
  And that's where I felt even more that therapy was not for
• 34:14
  me. And because there was nothing
• 34:18
  bad has happened to me and I'm very blessed and thankful and
• 34:20
  aware of that. So I felt almost guilt or like I
• 34:24
  was insufficient to go. But I'm telling you that it's
• 34:28
  not something's wrong with you. I learned so much about my think
• 34:31
  of it as you're not going to therapy because something's
• 34:34
  wrong with you. You're going to talk to someone
• 34:36
  who understands thought process and patterns, and they're going
• 34:39
  to help you uncover yours. Because it doesn't mean that
• 34:43
  you've had a huge life event or something bad happens, but
• 34:47
  you're going to start to learn and understand how you tick, why
• 34:50
  you do what you do, and how you can be more efficient in
• 34:53
  managing yourself in turn. The cool part about that is now
• 34:58
  that I know all the things I do and what else is out there, I
• 35:01
  also have that much better understanding of why my clients
• 35:05
  or why my relationships and those people, why they're doing
• 35:08
  what they're doing. It's not a personal attack on
• 35:11
  you or something that you did. It's they're trying to figure
• 35:15
  out how they tick as well. Yeah, it's such a good point.
• 35:19
  When you have those tools, you've done that work yourself,
• 35:22
  you're more empathetic and you're more in tune to because
• 35:25
  you're not disassociated from those things, you're in tune to
• 35:28
  them. You are then just more capable.
• 35:31
  You're capable of being in tune with others.
• 35:34
  And so it's one of those benefits you're not necessarily
• 35:37
  looking for going into it, but is a natural occurrence because
• 35:41
  of how you've engaged with yourself.
• 35:43
  That's such a good point. Thank you so much for that.
• 35:45
  All right, how we can support ourselves and other women in
• 35:49
  living unapologetically. So much of your work is built
• 35:53
  around that with with helping people with their health and you
• 35:56
  really you help a lot of women in this area.
• 36:00
  So, but talk to me about your journey with that, what that
• 36:03
  looks like for you, what you know, and then how you're able
• 36:07
  to help support other women in that as well.
• 36:11
  Yes, well, this is like I said, the journey is never over.
• 36:15
  Whether that is in figuring out who you are, setting boundaries,
• 36:20
  even health and fitness. Like when you hit that goal
• 36:22
  weight, that's only when it just begins.
• 36:25
  It's like we don't stop all those habits and just say OK, we
• 36:27
  made it right. I'm still on this journey and I
• 36:31
  think the biggest part of it I'm currently experiencing is
• 36:36
  through the entrepreneurship and because I'm going on 2 1/2 years
• 36:44
  in, which is still very young in a business.
• 36:47
  And for a long time, my belief just from seeing society, and
• 36:55
  this is not a bad thing if this is you, but it was, you go to
• 36:59
  school, you go to college, you get your degree, you get a job,
• 37:02
  and then you just work the rest of your life to pay bills.
• 37:06
  And that's totally fine. Like there's a lot of great jobs
• 37:09
  out there. I work more now for myself than
• 37:12
  I did in my own corporate job, which is great.
• 37:16
  But whatever you choose, like make sure it's something that
• 37:20
  you love doing or that does spill your cup.
• 37:23
  Because when you put yourself in a box and you're like, well,
• 37:27
  this is all I'm capable of because this is what XY and Z
• 37:30
  says. This is where my degree is.
• 37:32
  So my degree says I have to be here that don't be afraid to
• 37:37
  take chances or step outside of your comfort zone.
• 37:41
  And it is scary because I would say walking out my last day of
• 37:45
  the corporate setting, I was in human resources before this and
• 37:49
  jumping into a full time business of my own, nothing is
• 37:54
  certain. And so I feel like every day
• 37:57
  that you have the courage to show up and you talk about it as
• 38:01
  living unapologetically, which I love, every day that you have
• 38:05
  the courage to show up, you're inspiring yourself, but you're
• 38:09
  also inspiring others. And if we look at society, the
• 38:13
  way that we progress and we move forward is through the people
• 38:16
  that take chances, they take risks and continue to grow and
• 38:20
  develop. So whether this doesn't mean you
• 38:23
  need to go start your own business, but maybe it's just in
• 38:26
  learning a skill or developing a new friend, any way that you can
• 38:31
  push yourself outside your comfort zone, it should.
• 38:34
  Living unapologetically should be uncomfortable because we're
• 38:38
  comfortable. We are not growing.
• 38:40
  Yeah. We're stagnant, Yes.
• 38:43
  So you should be growing. And so that could look like
• 38:46
  friendships, that could look like raising children, that
• 38:48
  could look like getting out in somewhere to an event or mom's
• 38:54
  group that you've never been before.
• 38:56
  But living unapologetically goes back to the you owe it to
• 38:59
  yourself to get uncomfortable, to show up, to learn new things,
• 39:04
  and then all of that passes on to those around you.
• 39:07
  Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you so much for that.
• 39:09
  So good. And again, I love so much that
• 39:12
  you know this now because this is just going to serve you so
• 39:16
  well. Like I said, doesn't mean it's
• 39:19
  not hard, but it again gives you that framework and that
• 39:22
  background and the proof in the pudding to know that this is
• 39:26
  this is something that works, that this is important for me to
• 39:30
  continue to evolve and continually grow through the
• 39:34
  journey of life I'm in, to continue to be my the most
• 39:37
  authentic, healthiest self. So.
• 39:39
  Yes and if it's my thing, my motivation to myself and this is
• 39:43
  within reason so please be smart.
• 39:46
  But is if it scares you that is probably what you should do and
• 39:50
  lean to it because a lot of time the fear tries to keep us safe
• 39:54
  or direct us the opposite direction to protect us.
• 39:58
  But. If there's something that you've
• 40:00
  been wanting to do, whether it's run a 5K or go me at a coffee
• 40:04
  shop with a friend, but you've been nervous or a little anxious
• 40:07
  to do so, extend your hand and go do it.
• 40:11
  Yeah, I love that. That's so good.
• 40:12
  And I talked about this a lot. I just talked about this in the
• 40:15
  conversation I was on before. This is that your nervous system
• 40:19
  gets used to what you've been doing, so it will send you cues
• 40:23
  of discomfort when you're doing something new.
• 40:25
  And sometimes we miss recognize those and think, oh, got to pull
• 40:31
  back instead. No, you got to bring your
• 40:34
  nervous system along with you to to let her know, no, this, we're
• 40:38
  going to operate this way now, this way.
• 40:40
  We've we've been this way. That's fine.
• 40:42
  It's served as them, but it's time to move forward now.
• 40:45
  So I think it's important to remember that too.
• 40:47
  I love that. Yeah, that's where those nerves
• 40:50
  and that nervousness is coming from.
• 40:52
  And so it's like, it's okay to bring her along.
• 40:54
  That's not the same. It's like, oh, my intuition
• 40:57
  this, this is dangerous. Trusting ourselves in a moment
• 41:01
  of, you know, the so discerning between that.
• 41:04
  But yeah, discomfort does not equate to I shouldn't do it.
• 41:08
  100%. In thinking about that, OK,
• 41:10
  thank you so much, so good. All right, you've touched on
• 41:13
  this already, but I want to swing back to it.
• 41:15
  The importance of setting and coming back to your why and your
• 41:19
  values and what you do and staying true to that.
• 41:23
  You talked about earlier that values piece and knowing that
• 41:25
  plays an important role and knowing where your boundaries
• 41:28
  and healthy boundaries need to be set.
• 41:30
  But talk to me about that understanding that you how you
• 41:33
  got there and that how you came to know how important this piece
• 41:38
  was in your journey. Yes, and this is so many good
• 41:42
  things happening this past week because I was on a panel Group A
• 41:46
  few days ago with a woman and she put it the best way I've
• 41:49
  ever heard it is We were talking about networking and anyone
• 41:54
  who's socially anxious. But for a why and how to get
• 41:58
  over it, she said you have to surrender to your mission, and I
• 42:03
  never. Heard it would before, but I I'm
• 42:05
  gonna write that down. I love that.
• 42:08
  Surrender to your mission and what she means by it is that
• 42:12
  whatever you set out to do, your wife has to be a greater than
• 42:17
  your fear. And so for me, the why of
• 42:21
  starting my own business is I looked at the opposite of do I
• 42:25
  want to be in A and again, I don't say this negatively
• 42:29
  because if, if this is you, that's totally fine.
• 42:31
  But I personally didn't want to be in my cubicle until
• 42:35
  retirement or going up punching a clock every single day for me
• 42:40
  and the way I operate. So for me, my why was better
• 42:44
  that I can get out and help people.
• 42:46
  But maybe for you, your why is as a mom or as a sister or as a
• 42:51
  wife, and there's certain things in that aspect that make you a
• 42:55
  little uncomfortable or nervous to do to help that relationship
• 42:59
  grow. And so you have to remember, is
• 43:01
  my fear or my nervousness greater than the why or purpose
• 43:06
  that I am living on a daily basis?
• 43:08
  Because we all have a reason, no matter how big or small that you
• 43:12
  personally feel it is, you have a mission.
• 43:15
  And so whenever you're able to surrender to your why or know
• 43:19
  that your why is greater than your fear, that's going to allow
• 43:24
  you to act on it. That's so good that oh, I love
• 43:28
  that so much. That's such a great way of
• 43:29
  putting that. Thank you.
• 43:30
  All right, living out of your own expectations versus others,
• 43:35
  which is again, feeds very nicely into this.
• 43:38
  You know, you walked away from the 9:00 to 5:00 stability
• 43:43
  benefits, all that thing, all those seeing you got the degree,
• 43:47
  you know, you hit that. I mean, so we so many of us got
• 43:51
  that scriptive go to, you know, go to college, get the degree,
• 43:55
  get the job, meet the partner, you know, graduate, find the
• 44:00
  job, get engaged, get married, have the kids, buy the car.
• 44:03
  Oh yeah, all those things. And it's like, OK, is that you
• 44:07
  know, within this, you have to unpack at some point the parts
• 44:11
  of it that are working and the parts of it that you need to
• 44:14
  adjust to fit who you truly are, to meet that why and those
• 44:18
  values of what you truly care about.
• 44:20
  And so you stepped outside of that and took a chance on
• 44:23
  yourself, which I love. But it's also that, you know,
• 44:26
  having to balance those that expectations piece, especially
• 44:30
  when you're moving, when you're you're self aware to know I have
• 44:34
  a people pleaser tendency. So even the like this week, what
• 44:38
  you're going through, I need to live out of my own expectations
• 44:42
  and not what I have told myself or I know what, whatever the
• 44:47
  case may be, others are of me and let's allow that to drive
• 44:51
  me. I need my expectations, my
• 44:53
  values, my why to drive me. So talk to me about the connect
• 44:57
  point that that has with all of this and you're just your
• 45:00
  expectations journey. Yes, and I think that's where a
• 45:03
  lot of the self-care 'cause there's two aspects I wanna hit
• 45:06
  on this. There's a lot of the self-care I
• 45:09
  feel like has the connotation of, oh, we're we throttle back
• 45:13
  and we're really like the box of chocolates, the wine, the hot
• 45:16
  bath. All those can be deemed like, at
• 45:19
  least in my head and connotation as lazy air quads lazy, which
• 45:24
  I'm not saying that those are the methods of self-care that
• 45:27
  you should use, but I think that knowing the expert that plays
• 45:30
  into knowing the expectations you have for yourself is my
• 45:34
  expectations are very high for myself and I can guarantee that
• 45:38
  no one has higher expectations for me than I have for myself.
• 45:42
  And that can be a blessing and a curse.
• 45:44
  Absolutely, because you're going to be a self motivator and self
• 45:49
  starter and get stuff done, but you can also get to the point of
• 45:52
  running yourself into the ground of burnout.
• 45:54
  And. For a long time what I was
• 45:58
  deeming as others expectations of me, meaning like if I quit
• 46:02
  this job or if I do this or if I do that people are going to be
• 46:05
  disappointed. It was more of I was not
• 46:09
  allowing my expectations to fit the time of life that I was in
• 46:14
  and I was putting my thoughts as other people's expectations.
• 46:19
  When again, if we go back to the fact of you're not the star of
• 46:23
  everyone's world, you're the star of your world.
• 46:25
  And while I'm not saying that you should be lazy and a couch
• 46:29
  potato is, most of those expectations and pressure is
• 46:34
  simply coming from yourself and not the outside view of others.
• 46:37
  Because others, as much as they want to see you succeed and do
• 46:42
  well and contribute to society, they're not micromanaging you
• 46:46
  and making sure that you're following and checking every
• 46:50
  single box that society deems you should.
• 46:53
  Now you're always going to have a few people that have their
• 46:55
  comments and that's fine. We're all entitled to our
• 46:57
  opinion. But most of your expectations,
• 47:00
  you have to align those with your values and know, are my
• 47:04
  expectations something that are too high right now or do I need
• 47:08
  to listen to myself and give a little bit of grace?
• 47:11
  Yeah, yeah. And I think you know, to even
• 47:14
  within that, it's like, you know, so I mean, just, you know,
• 47:17
  you're in a season of massive change right now.
• 47:20
  So, you know, so being meeting yourself where you are in the
• 47:24
  moment, this might not be the year where you have a huge
• 47:29
  explosion of clientele in your business, because that would
• 47:33
  not, you know, necessarily serve you in this season.
• 47:37
  You've got to make sure you've got enough energy for all the
• 47:40
  spaces, but that might be more five years down the road or
• 47:44
  whatever it is. So meeting yourself where you
• 47:47
  are and adjusting yourself and get and, and being just being
• 47:51
  good with that. Nothing, nobody has failed.
• 47:54
  Nothing's going wrong. We're just meeting ourselves and
• 47:57
  being realistic about where we are and accepting that,
• 48:00
  acknowledging that as part of these are the layers that are
• 48:03
  showing up right now. And these are the things that
• 48:05
  that we need to make sure are addressed.
• 48:07
  So I think that's a really, you know, to that healthy
• 48:10
  perspective of adjusting, flowing with the seasons.
• 48:13
  I always tell people when you're feeling out of alignment, go
• 48:18
  back, look at your calendar, ask yourself is my why are my values
• 48:25
  in my? Is the season I'm in?
• 48:26
  What's happened? What's adjusted since I sent
• 48:29
  last paid attention to these since I last set my calendar
• 48:33
  according to these. What needs that's It's letting
• 48:36
  you know some things out of alignment.
• 48:37
  Something needs to be moved. Something needs to be changed.
• 48:40
  Something needs to be given up. Something needs to be handed off
• 48:43
  to somebody else. Something needs to be put on.
• 48:46
  This is for later or, or so that you can make space for the new
• 48:52
  things that are coming in that weren't there when you set that
• 48:55
  Y values calendar priorities, you know, two years ago.
• 49:00
  So, you know, being aware of that and being OK with that.
• 49:03
  And so we are so hard on ourselves.
• 49:05
  I'm so glad you brought the grace piece.
• 49:06
  We see this as a failure. And like, no, you're not.
• 49:09
  It's not A and I'm as guilty like I'm saying no, like it's
• 49:12
  ridiculous why I've done this to myself my whole life.
• 49:14
  So total, you know, transparency here, but it's that we got, we
• 49:20
  got to reset, we got to realign. We've got to meet ourselves
• 49:22
  where we are today and show up accordingly to that.
• 49:26
  And when you've done the work and you know yourself and you
• 49:28
  know your value, you're able to do that without judgment,
• 49:33
  without fear, without beating ourselves up because we know
• 49:38
  don't know if this is a season shift.
• 49:40
  So we got to get a shift. With that, yeah.
• 49:42
  And that's and you can show up more effectively in what you're
• 49:46
  doing when you have that pressure.
• 49:49
  Absolutely, 1000% it's going to be, it's going to serve you
• 49:52
  well, it's going to serve everybody you serve well and in
• 49:55
  that you're in relationship with 100%.
• 49:57
  So good. All right, accepting the layered
• 50:00
  aspects of ourselves, all the pieces, all the parts of
• 50:05
  ourselves that make up who we are.
• 50:07
  We talked about a lot of those layers already today and the
• 50:11
  importance of I. For me this is the key
• 50:13
  component, even though I don't talk about it first.
• 50:16
  In the order. It's the key component to
• 50:19
  everything else falling into place because we, we prioritize
• 50:23
  what we value. And that has to start with you
• 50:27
  and, and, and knowing and accepting and acknowledging.
• 50:30
  We don't have to love everything about it, but having an
• 50:33
  acknowledgement and removing the judgment and replacing it with
• 50:36
  curiosity and acknowledgement. So.
• 50:39
  So talk to me about the layers piece and you're in the thick of
• 50:41
  it. Right now.
• 50:42
  Oh yeah. Well, and I'm glad you said that
• 50:44
  because we don't have to love every bit of it because the
• 50:49
  layer for me specifically right now that I'm most struggling
• 50:52
  with is the physical aspect and not I am very and this is it
• 50:58
  again, speak out of both sides of my mouth because I am so
• 51:01
  thankful and so blessed that my body is growing a human being,
• 51:07
  which is amazing. And I-1 aspect of me is so in
• 51:11
  all and the changes in my body and like I didn't even know it
• 51:15
  could do that. But the physical I'm a personal
• 51:19
  trainer. And.
• 51:22
  I was in such a confident place, not saying I'm not confident
• 51:26
  now, but I was in such a fit perspective.
• 51:30
  We just got married, ran 1/2 marathon.
• 51:33
  Like feeling my best physically that in seeing how fast my body
• 51:39
  changes in six months, it's like this is definitely not the same
• 51:43
  body. So not having to love.
• 51:46
  And I know a lot of women struggle with the physical
• 51:49
  standpoint specifically such I want to talk about.
• 51:52
  That is, I don't love the way that I look right now, but I do
• 51:58
  know that my body is doing amazing things and serving a
• 52:02
  much larger purpose than aesthetically.
• 52:06
  And maybe you're not pregnant or maybe you've already gone
• 52:09
  through it and you're just struggling with weight or
• 52:11
  menopause or hormones, whatever that looks like for you is every
• 52:15
  single day that you get to get up and you have the ability to
• 52:17
  walk or use your legs or that body is serving you.
• 52:21
  And I don't want to be a hypocrite because I'm struggling
• 52:24
  myself right now with physical appearance.
• 52:28
  But. Really replaying and focusing
• 52:31
  and changing us. I love what it is able to serve
• 52:35
  for me because I know I am having a little girl.
• 52:38
  And one thing I've realized through this six months is I
• 52:44
  never want her to hear me say like, I'm fat or I can't eat
• 52:50
  that or these pants make me look because she will hear that.
• 52:56
  And that directly impacts her own body image.
• 52:59
  So I feel that God is preparing me right now.
• 53:03
  Get yourself together because you're beautiful in all of your
• 53:08
  shapes and sizes, and your body's doing amazing things no
• 53:10
  matter what stage of life you're in.
• 53:13
  Yes, that is so good. I'm so are you in that that
• 53:16
  awareness because it is hard. I relate wholeheartedly to this.
• 53:21
  I ran track in high school and some in college.
• 53:23
  I was very fit. When we got married, I was very
• 53:28
  fit. I worked out until three days
• 53:30
  before my oldest was born. Like I was at the gym everyday,
• 53:34
  probably allowed me to go through the 26 hours of Labor
• 53:38
  that I did because I was so fit. But I struggled wholeheartedly
• 53:43
  with that so much Like I didn't. I was not the woman that wanted
• 53:49
  to have pictures taken to my belly or that was, I just wasn't
• 53:53
  that person. I was like, this is a means to
• 53:55
  an end and this is a necessary part.
• 53:58
  And I understand that. And I also don't love it, but I
• 54:01
  accept it. And so and and that's OK.
• 54:04
  And I, you know, I had a great recording with our friend, I
• 54:08
  mean, Marissa Zuito earlier today.
• 54:11
  And she and I, she talked about the fact that she talks a lot
• 54:17
  about the fact that we don't talk enough in front of all of
• 54:20
  this. We have all these expectations
• 54:23
  of rainbows and flowers and butterflies and, and also it's
• 54:28
  really hard and a lot of things are happening to our body and
• 54:32
  it's a big adjustment and it's a big change.
• 54:35
  And it's not always going to feel good or be fun.
• 54:38
  And we're not always going to be like, you know, I was not the I
• 54:43
  love being pregnant. I love I was not that.
• 54:46
  I was very much this is what we have to go through to get here.
• 54:51
  And then I'll have this baby and thankfully someday this baby
• 54:54
  will talk and put on their own shoes and and get their clothes
• 54:59
  out and then we'll be out and go out and have some fun.
• 55:02
  Now, I still took the baby out. We went out all the time, but I
• 55:04
  wasn't the woman who was in love with I had friends.
• 55:08
  I knew people that were in love with being pregnant and in love
• 55:11
  with just holding and cuddling their babies all day.
• 55:13
  It was like, let's get pregnant, let's have the baby.
• 55:15
  Come on, kid, let's go. We got life to live.
• 55:17
  We got to we got to, we got to get talking, we got to get
• 55:20
  moving. I know that sounds crazy.
• 55:21
  My husband loved the baby stage, but I think it's important to
• 55:25
  speak truth to that because not some and I, like I said, I have
• 55:29
  friends on all parts of this spectrum, but it's OK to name
• 55:34
  what's hard. It's OK if you, when you have
• 55:36
  the baby, maybe that you're like, can you take, take her?
• 55:40
  Because if I don't go take a shower or walk outside and smell
• 55:45
  something besides poop, I'm going to lose my freaking mind.
• 55:50
  So please take her so I can refresh, renew and and get back
• 55:55
  to a good space. And I just, I want to give you
• 55:57
  all of that upfront now. And because it's OK.
• 56:02
  And it's, and it's a, it's a blitz and it is a balancing act
• 56:06
  because I also have friends and women that I've had on here that
• 56:09
  have had gone through infertility journeys and they're
• 56:13
  just not able to have children. And so I've always, I always
• 56:17
  follow this up with, I am very mindful of that.
• 56:21
  And it's a nuanced experience. So I can both be grateful, but
• 56:26
  also be honest about my experience, but also be mindful
• 56:30
  when I am around women that I either don't know their
• 56:33
  experience or I do know their experience and I'm I either way,
• 56:37
  I'm mindful and respectful and kind.
• 56:40
  And I, I'm thoughtful about where my safe spaces are to talk
• 56:45
  about these things and be open. But my hope is that we can
• 56:47
  create open, honest conversations for women to feel
• 56:51
  safe in all the spaces and all the experiences.
• 56:54
  We're removing the stigmas and the pre conceived notions and
• 56:58
  the cultural narratives that create harmful spaces and
• 57:03
  assumptions, you know, And I think it's so important this is
• 57:06
  all part of that layers journey of your own layers and others
• 57:11
  layers as well. And I, I'm so glad that you said
• 57:14
  that because I also have a lot of friends right now who are
• 57:17
  dealing with infertility. And like, obviously I'm very
• 57:20
  thankful for my own, but I was like, if I could do anything to
• 57:23
  help you out, you know, I would. Yeah.
• 57:26
  But I also love that you said is we're all, and we talked about
• 57:31
  this on the panel before, is we're all in this journey.
• 57:33
  And even though all of our journey looks a little bit
• 57:35
  different, as women, we're all going through the same things to
• 57:40
  certain capacities, it's going to look a little bit different.
• 57:42
  So I love to hear someone else say or talk about how I'm very
• 57:47
  thankful and I would not change it for the world.
• 57:50
  But there's also certain aspects that maybe I'm not the biggest
• 57:54
  fan of, but I know that it is part of it, and I'm thankful
• 57:57
  that my body is capable of doing so.
• 57:59
  So I think that's huge. And that applies to so many
• 58:03
  other aspects of life as well. Just being a woman, whether
• 58:07
  that's going through all the way from going through puberty to
• 58:10
  going through menopause, like that opens a whole array of
• 58:13
  things that everyone experiences.
• 58:15
  But as women, we all are on a similar journey of some sort.
• 58:20
  Yeah, yes, absolutely. And I think there's been so many
• 58:24
  years of so many pre determining factors of us being told what we
• 58:29
  can and can't talk about when it when in truthfulness, no, we
• 58:33
  need to open the door and create safe spaces.
• 58:35
  We can talk about it. And it's by talking about it
• 58:37
  that we know how to help and support each other and we know
• 58:41
  how to create safe spaces for ourselves and and respect what
• 58:44
  other safe spaces might look like.
• 58:46
  And holding the nuance again, we we want to make things black and
• 58:50
  white this way or that way, right or wrong.
• 58:52
  And there's new ones. And within your story, you're
• 58:57
  going to find what your good and bad and right and wrong is.
• 59:02
  But that doesn't mean that's someone else's because it's it
• 59:05
  is unique. I mean, there are yes, there are
• 59:08
  there. Is there uniform things that we
• 59:12
  all need to agree on that are good or bad in society?
• 59:16
  Yes, of course that's true. But we tend to take that too far
• 59:20
  sometimes. We tend to moralize things based
• 59:23
  on our own story when someone else's story is entirely
• 59:27
  different. And that just doesn't apply the
• 59:30
  same way to them. So taking that, again, curiosity
• 59:34
  versus judgment, empathy and curiosity opens the door for
• 59:38
  empathy and kindness and patience with ourselves and
• 59:43
  acknowledging those things. But yeah, you don't have to love
• 59:47
  every layer, but we need to not shame it.
• 59:50
  We need to not be embarrassed and shove it down like it's
• 59:54
  something we can't, you know, you know, talk about because
• 59:59
  because there's also the all these body shaming issues that
• 1:00:02
  exist around women's bodies. And this plays a big part of it
• 1:00:05
  too. And so again, listening to
• 1:00:08
  yourself, acknowledging what is my comfort and what what if I
• 1:00:13
  feel safest, most authentic and within this.
• 1:00:17
  And for the things that feel a little more unhealthy, get
• 1:00:19
  curious. What do I need to unpack here?
• 1:00:22
  Because something feels like it's holding me back in an
• 1:00:24
  unhealthy way. So let's take the time to unpack
• 1:00:27
  that. So as always, yeah, so many
• 1:00:31
  layers, but also important to talk about them and let them all
• 1:00:34
  breathe and have their space. Yeah, so good.
• 1:00:37
  All right. In living out, feel, finding
• 1:00:40
  empowerment, embracing layers. You have got a great handle on
• 1:00:44
  this at these a stage in your life which I love seeing.
• 1:00:49
  I'm getting to see my daughter's learn this as well.
• 1:00:52
  And it's like 25 to 30 years sooner than me, which I'm so
• 1:00:56
  thankful for because that means we're starting to steer the ship
• 1:00:59
  in the right direction for women.
• 1:01:01
  And it's allowed. You know, you're having a
• 1:01:03
  daughter, you're going to have be so well equipped.
• 1:01:07
  Can you know in in what you've learned?
• 1:01:09
  And she'll learn more things and keep, you know, that's that that
• 1:01:12
  realm going that you know, continuum going, but you have
• 1:01:17
  learned how to do this is so powerful.
• 1:01:20
  And talk to me about the impact that has had on your
• 1:01:22
  relationship with yourself as well as your relationship with
• 1:01:26
  other people. Yes.
• 1:01:28
  So in finding on the finding the empowerment.
• 1:01:35
  And embracing layers, the whole thing.
• 1:01:38
  OK. I would say that again, it's
• 1:01:40
  always a work in progress, but it has really helped one with
• 1:01:46
  self love and self-care. But I view it more as because
• 1:01:51
  self love and self-care. To me they're great, but I think
• 1:01:54
  they're a bit overused and they have several different
• 1:01:57
  connotations in society. The phrasing of that we have to
• 1:02:00
  be very careful with. So I like to view it as self
• 1:02:04
  respect or than you versus you. Like you don't need to look like
• 1:02:08
  a Greek goddess. You don't need to be a
• 1:02:11
  fashionista, but taking care and pride and respect and how you
• 1:02:17
  nourish yourself both physically, mentally, how you
• 1:02:22
  move, how you talk to others, how you listen is you deserve to
• 1:02:27
  operate your highest self. And when I realized that rather
• 1:02:31
  than this whole another story, but I went through quite a while
• 1:02:36
  with a really bad food relationship where I was trying
• 1:02:39
  to just become my smallest self and that was not nourishing me
• 1:02:43
  and that was not self respect. This goes both ways from an
• 1:02:47
  overweight standpoint to unhealthy trying to be small
• 1:02:50
  standpoint. And what that has allowed me to
• 1:02:53
  show up and help with others is when I coach my clients or when
• 1:02:58
  I have friends, they don't even have to be clients that are
• 1:03:02
  talking about themselves. It's it's a safe place and a
• 1:03:05
  safe community where we can unpack what am I going through?
• 1:03:09
  Why am I feeling this way? Why I saw so and so on social
• 1:03:12
  media and how can we navigate all of the highlight reels of
• 1:03:17
  other people's lives? Because the highlight reels,
• 1:03:20
  you're not seeing the full picture and you're seeing edited
• 1:03:24
  versions. And so when we're able to unpack
• 1:03:29
  and know that no one's perfect, we all have things that we're
• 1:03:33
  dealing with. And likely, I had this
• 1:03:35
  conversation two weeks ago as the one thing that you want.
• 1:03:39
  Your best friend probably wants the opposite.
• 1:03:42
  So one of my clients was like, my friend, she has had five
• 1:03:46
  kids, and she's so small. And I was like, yeah, she's
• 1:03:49
  small, but in her eyes, maybe she thinks that she's too thin.
• 1:03:53
  And literally the next week, her friend reached out to me and
• 1:03:56
  wanted some help with coaching. And I was, we taught all three
• 1:03:59
  talked about it. And we're like, see, you're
• 1:04:01
  comparing because that's what we tend to do.
• 1:04:05
  But really, from each other's eyes, you think she's perfect,
• 1:04:08
  she thinks you're perfect, and you're trying to become each
• 1:04:10
  other. When we create this community or
• 1:04:13
  have this space and I can help them walk through that.
• 1:04:17
  We're truly Better Together. And you're not on this journey
• 1:04:19
  alone. Yes, yes, and you take up the
• 1:04:22
  competition in comparison because that's what keeps us
• 1:04:26
  apart. That's what keeps us from coming
• 1:04:28
  together. All these narratives that we
• 1:04:31
  create in our head with of what must be true and to what's
• 1:04:34
  actually true. And then when we know what's
• 1:04:37
  actually true, we know how to show up and support each other
• 1:04:40
  in it. And that's where that's where
• 1:04:43
  the good stuff, that's where the magic happens.
• 1:04:45
  And I and and when you feel good about you, it changes the way
• 1:04:50
  you show up in your relationships.
• 1:04:52
  You know, you don't need someone to make you happy.
• 1:04:56
  You want to be with those people.
• 1:04:58
  You choose your partner, your friends, your Co workers,
• 1:05:02
  whoever it is, you're in it. You, you choose to be in
• 1:05:06
  relationship with. It's a choice.
• 1:05:09
  You you're not operating off of of a security insecurity.
• 1:05:13
  If I, I've got to earn their love or I've got to show up, you
• 1:05:17
  know, I've got to make them happy.
• 1:05:18
  No, I'm, I'm, I know what I want.
• 1:05:20
  I know what I need. I accept and acknowledge all the
• 1:05:24
  pieces and parts of that and. Then it's just it take it allows
• 1:05:28
  you to show up authentically and healthy in relationships instead
• 1:05:31
  of asking something from them that they were never meant to
• 1:05:34
  be. Your goal is not to depend on
• 1:05:36
  the Speaking of a spouse specifically, but this applies
• 1:05:39
  to friends as well. Your goal is not to depend on
• 1:05:41
  them, it's to come together to elevate each other.
• 1:05:44
  It's like. You can.
• 1:05:45
  You can. Be great by yourself, but what
• 1:05:47
  could you do with that person? And that was the biggest shift
• 1:05:52
  to that for me is 'cause I was always, I'm an independent
• 1:05:57
  woman. I don't need anyone.
• 1:05:59
  I can do everything all by myself.
• 1:06:02
  I don't need any help. And it was when I realized that
• 1:06:05
  we can go so much farther together, whether that is a
• 1:06:09
  friendship or a spouse or whatever that is.
• 1:06:12
  You don't have to carry everything by yourself, but that
• 1:06:14
  does not mean that you get to dump everything on them and
• 1:06:17
  expect them to carry it. Yeah, and fix it for you.
• 1:06:20
  Yes, exactly. Yes, absolutely.
• 1:06:23
  So good. I remember I this goes way back.
• 1:06:26
  My husband and I've been married for almost 32 years.
• 1:06:29
  It'll be 32 years in August. And he said to me one time,
• 1:06:34
  thank you. He said to me one time.
• 1:06:36
  And this was really he's like you always say I and I always
• 1:06:40
  say we. And I'm like, you know, I was, I
• 1:06:43
  was so used to depending on myself and taking care of myself
• 1:06:49
  that it's like, I'm still having to like switch that, that gear
• 1:06:54
  of like, it's OK that we are a we and that's a good thing.
• 1:06:58
  And I can trust you with that. I can trust you with me and you
• 1:07:02
  can trust me with you. And there's safety within our
• 1:07:06
  relationship in that way, But that you're not trying to,
• 1:07:09
  you're not asking me to be anything I'm not.
• 1:07:12
  And I'm not asking you to be anything you're not.
• 1:07:15
  But I feel like that, that the, and I was like, that was a
• 1:07:18
  really important part. And that's can be, again, a big
• 1:07:21
  adjustment to make when you're, you're in.
• 1:07:24
  And especially as women where we're always kind of, you know,
• 1:07:29
  trying to find that balance of, yes, I, you know, I'm for myself
• 1:07:33
  and I can totally take care of myself.
• 1:07:35
  I don't need someone, but also when you're in relationships,
• 1:07:39
  people love like to feel like they want to feel like you want
• 1:07:42
  to be there, that you want to have that connection that you
• 1:07:45
  want to have that. And you know, so and, and
• 1:07:51
  because actually my husband and I, when we were dating, we broke
• 1:07:54
  up for a while when we were dating and, and I've told this
• 1:07:59
  story before, but he's like, I want you to want me.
• 1:08:02
  I don't want you to need me because I came from a background
• 1:08:06
  of a lot of codependent and meshed relationships and
• 1:08:10
  believing that, you know, without a man, a woman is not
• 1:08:12
  complete whole. All that garbage that I had to
• 1:08:15
  unpack. And his statement of that was
• 1:08:19
  eye opening, shocking, heartbreaking, and also one of
• 1:08:22
  the most important nine months periods of my life because I
• 1:08:25
  went on that journey of getting OK with me and believing in me
• 1:08:30
  and knowing I could take care of me and that my relationships
• 1:08:34
  were a choice. I didn't need that person.
• 1:08:37
  I wanted to be with that person. Yes.
• 1:08:40
  Well, and I'm glad that you said that because from my experience
• 1:08:43
  personally, it hasn't been with my husband, but I am a huge
• 1:08:48
  isolator when it comes to like friends or even family.
• 1:08:54
  And so realizing and I have a whole community now, but that
• 1:08:59
  community has honestly been the most pivotal thing in my life
• 1:09:02
  that I never thought when I made it, it was a for fun on the
• 1:09:05
  side, But is realizing like we don't have to go through it
• 1:09:10
  alone. And I, I still have not, my
• 1:09:12
  tendency is isolation when something goes S, but I don't
• 1:09:16
  have to isolate. And and that doesn't mean it's
• 1:09:18
  healthy. Because truly, whenever you can
• 1:09:21
  walk through it together or you can go through and have the
• 1:09:24
  direct conversation, that's going to take you so much
• 1:09:27
  further than just continuing to carry the burden on your own.
• 1:09:31
  Yeah, yeah. And people want to show up for
• 1:09:34
  you and you and you know, and, and you know that that
• 1:09:37
  reciprocal support that you have for each other because we were
• 1:09:41
  even, even as even those out there that are introverts or
• 1:09:45
  more shy, we're still designed to be in community.
• 1:09:48
  You have to look, decide what that looks like for you, what's
• 1:09:50
  healthy for you. Make sure you're taking those
• 1:09:52
  moments where you do need to refill your cup.
• 1:09:55
  You know, my, you know, I have those in my family who are
• 1:09:58
  introverts or extroverted introverts.
• 1:10:00
  So people think they're extroverts, but honestly, they
• 1:10:03
  need to go home and decompress and be alone for a while because
• 1:10:06
  they've been extroverting all day long.
• 1:10:09
  I mean, and so, you know, so meeting yourself where you are,
• 1:10:12
  but that's different than isolating.
• 1:10:14
  I'm like, no, I got this. I can figure it out.
• 1:10:16
  I don't need any of you. I'm not going to burden you.
• 1:10:19
  I'd leave me alone. Let me do this.
• 1:10:21
  And that isn't healthy either. And so that you're recognizing
• 1:10:25
  that again. And it's just that that
• 1:10:27
  understanding the the the choice in it.
• 1:10:31
  Yes. Power of that.
• 1:10:32
  Yeah. So good.
• 1:10:34
  So much good. All right.
• 1:10:35
  Oh, Kelly, you. You are so good at this.
• 1:10:37
  I knew you would be all right. Thank you.
• 1:10:40
  We're down to the rapid fire. Name 5 activities that nourish
• 1:10:45
  you and hang on to these. You're going to need to remember
• 1:10:47
  these over the next year. Yes, yes, 5 activities, reading,
• 1:10:55
  going and these are not the ones you would think from a personal
• 1:10:58
  trainer, but reading, going to local coffee shops, grounding.
• 1:11:05
  So getting outside at least 10, at least 10 minutes every day,
• 1:11:09
  preferably touch some grass and then the other ones are walking
• 1:11:14
  or working out and then quality time with my spouse.
• 1:11:19
  So good. All right.
• 1:11:20
  And five words on how you want to feel the next six months.
• 1:11:30
  I want to say mindful and giving myself that grace, empowered, so
• 1:11:36
  building confidence, all this to come strong, nourished, All in
• 1:11:46
  all capacities and stay stable. And I don't see that as like a
• 1:11:53
  stable in a comfort zone, but stable as secure with my
• 1:11:56
  decisions and choices I'm making.
• 1:11:59
  I love that and knowing that you have the resources within you.
• 1:12:03
  I think that's really you know, you have built this capacity,
• 1:12:06
  you've done the work and you've got those resources and that
• 1:12:10
  even in it, even those things are swirling around you.
• 1:12:14
  You've got that foundation, you've got that stability
• 1:12:16
  through these practices that you have generated and developed in
• 1:12:20
  knowing. And it because you tend to all
• 1:12:22
  the pieces, you tend to the mental health, the emotional
• 1:12:25
  health, the physical health, the spiritual health, those are all
• 1:12:28
  part of your journey and those have all been tended to.
• 1:12:31
  And that can create stability even in these seasons of vast
• 1:12:34
  change you're in. And it's, you know, it's just,
• 1:12:37
  it's so important to have that to fall back on.
• 1:12:40
  Oh my gosh. Well, tell people where they can
• 1:12:43
  find you, how they can follow you, how they can work with you
• 1:12:46
  if they'd like, or if their corporation would like to work
• 1:12:49
  with you because you do both. Yes, and and all of this will be
• 1:12:54
  on our resources page embracinglayers.com.
• 1:12:57
  But share people right now real quick before we wrap up today.
• 1:13:01
  Yes, so you can find me on all platforms.
• 1:13:03
  Cali Pierce CALLIEPIERCE. My Instagram handle is at Cali
• 1:13:11
  Fit Wellness, so my name FIT Wellness and then also I'm on
• 1:13:16
  LinkedIn and Facebook. If you search for our group
• 1:13:21
  community, that is a free Facebook group called Team Cali
• 1:13:25
  Fits and that is loaded with free resources and positive
• 1:13:29
  women all over the country just looking for a place where they
• 1:13:32
  have a safe area to better themselves.
• 1:13:35
  So don't hesitate. That is the easiest way to get
• 1:13:38
  in contact with me. If you cannot find that again,
• 1:13:41
  follow me on Instagram, DM me. But I work one-on-one with
• 1:13:45
  people and I also work in the workplace as well.
• 1:13:47
  Really encompassing both together for a personalized
• 1:13:51
  total well-being throughout all aspects of your life.
• 1:13:55
  So if you work with the company, tell me real quick what that
• 1:13:58
  might look like. Give an example of what that
• 1:13:59
  might look like. Yes.
• 1:14:01
  So having been in HR, when I do go in to work with companies, I
• 1:14:05
  focus a lot on the benefits that they already have and how we can
• 1:14:09
  bring more, utilize those to bring more of a work life
• 1:14:12
  balance to their employees. And in turn, this is going to
• 1:14:15
  drive culture retention rates, lower medical costs, lower work
• 1:14:20
  comp. And that can look like with that
• 1:14:23
  on a physical basis where that's on site group workouts or we
• 1:14:27
  come together for Wellness committee meetings.
• 1:14:30
  I handle all of their e-mail marketing and communications for
• 1:14:34
  Wellness tips, topics and focal points.
• 1:14:37
  And so it really is taking all of that benefits work off of the
• 1:14:41
  HR's plate who already do so much, and really how we can
• 1:14:46
  engage with our employee and team database to make being at
• 1:14:50
  work more enjoyable and a place that they love to be.
• 1:14:55
  Yeah, and just knowing that they care about the whole person.
• 1:14:57
  And also I would add in less sick days when you're tending to
• 1:15:01
  people's overall Wellness and the company wins.
• 1:15:04
  Yeah, on all the arenas. Thank you for sharing that.
• 1:15:06
  I wanted to make sure people understood that.
• 1:15:08
  So much value in that. I think that's so great.
• 1:15:10
  All right, ladies, Kelly has given you a great set of things
• 1:15:16
  to think about and she's in all of the seasons right now.
• 1:15:20
  So I hopefully this helps you like, Oh my gosh, me too.
• 1:15:24
  And, and I'm so glad that we got to meet you in this moment with
• 1:15:27
  this because go back, listen back, write down these
• 1:15:30
  resources, take care of yourselves, know your value at
• 1:15:35
  that self respect that knowing that you're worth the
• 1:15:39
  investment. And then everybody wins,
• 1:15:42
  especially you, but all the people you love as well.
• 1:15:45
  When you take the time to invest in yourself healthy from just
• 1:15:50
  not just a physical standpoint, but mental, emotional, physical
• 1:15:53
  doesn't have to be the big things.
• 1:15:55
  That 10 minutes of grounding. She talked about getting outside
• 1:15:58
  and smelling the fresh air Right now in Fresno County, it's
• 1:16:02
  orange blossom season. Step outside and the orange
• 1:16:05
  blossoms are just wonderful right now.
• 1:16:07
  I wish we had that year round, honestly.
• 1:16:09
  Oh my gosh, that's so wonderful. But you know, whatever that
• 1:16:12
  thing is, make space for that and know that there's people
• 1:16:16
  here to support you through it. If you want to take a look at,
• 1:16:19
  you know, you need a better framework and more something
• 1:16:22
  that's going to really help you and guide you in this space,
• 1:16:26
  then then we've got resources here for you.
• 1:16:28
  Again, go to embracinglayers.com.
• 1:16:30
  Go to that resources page. Thank you, my friend, for being
• 1:16:33
  here with me today. I appreciate you.
• 1:16:36
  Thank you so much and thank you all for listening.
• 1:16:38
  I hope to see you guys again soon.
• 1:16:40
  All right, take good care everyone, and have a great week.
• 1:16:46
  Hello, Melissa Crook here. Thank you so much for joining us
• 1:16:49
  on the field podcast today. Finding empowerment, Embracing
• 1:16:54
  Layers. I hope you found today's
• 1:16:56
  framework and resources supportive and informative.
• 1:17:00
  To learn more about all that we offer here at the Embracing
• 1:17:04
  Layers network, visit embracinglayers.com.
• 1:17:08
  You can go to our contact form to schedule me as a speaker for
• 1:17:12
  your next conference, workshop, or seminar.
• 1:17:15
  You can go to our book page to order our book, The Jessica
• 1:17:19
  Garrison, our wonderful and talented writer and author
• 1:17:23
  authored with my support and engage with this framework in
• 1:17:27
  written form with your journal or in a book club with other
• 1:17:31
  women inviting them on this journey with you.
• 1:17:34
  You can look at our resources page for all of the helpful and
• 1:17:38
  insightful resources our guests offer and share.
• 1:17:41
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• 1:17:45
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• 1:17:49
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• 1:17:52
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• 1:17:55
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• 1:18:00
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• 1:18:04
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• 1:18:08
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• 1:18:12
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• 1:18:15
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• 1:18:18
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• 1:18:21
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• 1:18:25
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• 1:18:29
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• 1:18:32
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• 1:18:35
  We truly appreciate you so deeply.