Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 684: Your Ex Doesn't Care NOW, But They WILL Care Later

Transcript

Episode 684: Your Ex Doesn't Care NOW, But They WILL Care Later · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:00
  In order for your ex to break up with you, their interest level
• 0:03
  had to go down below A50. They had to distance themselves
• 0:08
  emotionally, so you can't expect them to care as much as they did
• 0:14
  when they were in the relationship when their interest
• 0:17
  level was higher. However, that doesn't mean it's
• 0:21
  going to be below 50 forever if you do things correctly.
• 0:25
  Even though they don't Care now, they will care later.
• 0:30
  Hi, this is Lucia with the Art of Love.
• 0:32
  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
• 0:34
  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
• 0:37
  And welcome back my beautiful no contact army.
• 0:40
  Have you been enjoying my app Silencio to help you stay in no
• 0:44
  contact and raise your ex's interest level?
• 0:47
  The link to download that for free is underneath every single
• 0:50
  video and podcast. And if you too would like to
• 0:53
  join our No Contact army, all you have to do is hit the
• 0:56
  subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in.
• 1:01
  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
• 1:05
  can read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
• 1:10
  When you get dumped and your ex starts acting cold, you're going
• 1:15
  to question whether they ever loved you in the 1st place if
• 1:19
  they could now behave this way. But there's something you're not
• 1:23
  understanding. People's actions and attitudes
• 1:27
  towards you is always based on their interest level.
• 1:32
  How they're behaving now is how people behave when their
• 1:36
  interest level is below 50%. Just as when they were treating
• 1:41
  you well. It was because that's how people
• 1:44
  behave when their interest level is in the Seventies, 80s, or
• 1:48
  90s. So don't question the whole
• 1:51
  relationship just because how how they're behaving.
• 1:53
  Now you're seeing the version of them whose interest level is
• 1:58
  below 50. That's all that's going on here.
• 2:01
  That's why you always have to pay attention to interest level
• 2:03
  because it will show you exactly how interested they are.
• 2:08
  And if they're not treating you well, then you can bet that
• 2:10
  their interest level is low. Keep in mind that even if their
• 2:15
  interest level is at 49 right now, that means that 49% of them
• 2:20
  is still interested and 51% isn't.
• 2:23
  So that's better than nothing, right?
• 2:27
  And they're going to say all kinds of things because right
• 2:30
  now, they don't care. They may even say they never
• 2:34
  want to speak with you again or you'll never get back together.
• 2:39
  I don't pay attention to what people say during a breakup or
• 2:42
  after a breakup. People say all kinds of things
• 2:46
  and then they changed their minds.
• 2:47
  I look at actions and they made their decision based on the
• 2:55
  evidence at this time. What do I mean by evidence?
• 3:00
  I mean the state of your relationship, how it felt and
• 3:04
  how you behaved. However, if you're now behaving
• 3:09
  totally different than how you behaved before, it's like new
• 3:13
  evidence has been introduced. So even though they had charged
• 3:17
  you as guilty of being someone they no longer wanted to be in a
• 3:22
  relationship with, this new evidence just might change their
• 3:27
  mind. Kind of like the Menendez
• 3:29
  brothers who've been in the news lately.
• 3:31
  There's actually a possibility that they will get out because
• 3:36
  of new evidence. So just as they've been in
• 3:39
  prison for many years and they may now be freed when you also
• 3:45
  introduce new evidence, you may get out of the prison of being
• 3:50
  dumped and in no contact and be free to once again be in a
• 3:54
  relationship with your ex. Something to keep in mind is
• 3:59
  that even though they broke up with you, they weren't 100%
• 4:04
  certain they were making the right decision and they don't
• 4:09
  know what's going to happen after the breakup.
• 4:11
  They expect to find someone better, but do they 100% know
• 4:15
  they will? Of course not, especially if it
• 4:18
  was a long relationship and they hadn't dated in years or
• 4:24
  decades. The dating scene has changed
• 4:26
  tremendously even over the last few years, so once they get out
• 4:31
  there and realize it's not as easy as they thought, they may
• 4:36
  start to regret their decision and change their mind.
• 4:39
  However, even though they're unsure about the future, they're
• 4:44
  certain about you. They're sure about you.
• 4:47
  They know that you are very interested in them, that you
• 4:52
  didn't want the breakup, and that you would take them back
• 4:55
  immediately if they changed their mind.
• 4:58
  But as time goes on, if you go into no contact and stay there
• 5:05
  and you start to level up, that certainty about you is going to
• 5:09
  go away. Now in most cases they will be
• 5:13
  keeping tabs on you even if it looks like they aren't.
• 5:16
  Most exes don't just go away. I just, I wish they would but
• 5:19
  they don't. It would certainly be easier if
• 5:23
  they did. But anyways, that's not the case
• 5:25
  with social media. So people are always going to
• 5:29
  keep tabs on you one way or another.
• 5:31
  Even if you don't have social media.
• 5:32
  They'll find a way. So after the breakup, instead of
• 5:36
  sitting around crying every day, you want to get out there and
• 5:40
  level up, work on yourself and become someone that they will
• 5:44
  regret breaking up with, even if you never get back together.
• 5:48
  So of course, that means first and foremost, working out.
• 5:52
  Nothing gives you more confidence than losing extra
• 5:54
  weight and starting to see some muscle, right?
• 5:58
  Yes, even if you're a woman. Get a haircut, change your hair
• 6:03
  color, grow a beard if you're a man but not if you're a woman,
• 6:06
  ha ha, Change your wardrobe. You know, it's amazing the quote
• 6:11
  clothes make the man. It's really true.
• 6:14
  Most people get stuck in a certain way of dressing and they
• 6:16
  never change with the times. And if you need help with all of
• 6:20
  that, I can certainly help you. I don't just help people get
• 6:22
  their ex back. I also help them to level up and
• 6:25
  look a lot better. So just hit me up at my website,
• 6:28
  theartoflove.net, you know, because that's what I've always
• 6:33
  done after a breakup. That's why for myself, I kind of
• 6:36
  like breakups in a way because they give me an incentive to
• 6:40
  push myself and become even more attractive, more accomplished,
• 6:43
  and sometimes even lose weight. Hey, so I use breakups as fuel
• 6:48
  to inspire me to level up as opposed to letting them knock me
• 6:52
  down. So if you want your ex to switch
• 6:55
  from not caring to caring, they cannot be certain about you.
• 7:01
  They have to wonder whether you'll even speak to them, never
• 7:04
  mind get back together. The more certain they are about
• 7:08
  you, the longer it's going to take to get to that point.
• 7:11
  The more you abandoned your boundaries and self respect in
• 7:15
  the relationship, the longer it will take because they are 100%
• 7:20
  certain that you'll always take them back.
• 7:23
  However, time is on your side. Time is your friend.
• 7:28
  And I talked about that in my video about no contact and the
• 7:31
  power of time, and I'll put the link in the upper right hand
• 7:33
  corner on YouTube. So as time goes by, they see
• 7:36
  you've levelled up, you're moving on with your life, you're
• 7:39
  looking happy. And yes, maybe even going on
• 7:41
  dates, they're going to be less certain that they can even get
• 7:46
  you back. And as your ex is becoming less
• 7:49
  certain about you, depending on how their post breakup life is
• 7:54
  going, they may start to become more certain that life isn't all
• 7:58
  they expected it to be after the breakup.
• 8:01
  Maybe they've dated and seen it's not as easy as it used to
• 8:04
  be. Maybe they had a rebound, got
• 8:07
  dumped. Maybe there are other personal
• 8:11
  issues in their life and they were always able to discuss
• 8:14
  those things with you, but you're no longer responding to
• 8:16
  them. If you had a great relationship,
• 8:20
  you're not going to be that easy to replace.
• 8:23
  And as time goes by, they may become more certain that they
• 8:29
  may have possibly made a mistake with you.
• 8:32
  They thought you would fall apart and go downhill.
• 8:34
  And meanwhile here you are thriving while they're starting
• 8:38
  to question their decision. There's a quote that says dumper
• 8:42
  laugh now, cry later. Dumpy cry now, laugh later.
• 8:48
  So if you do things right, even though you may be crying now,
• 8:53
  you will laugh later. And it's your ex who's going to
• 8:57
  be crying. So they may not Care now, but
• 9:00
  they will care later. OK, so now I want to hear from
• 9:04
  you. How long have you been in no
• 9:06
  contact and how is it going? And if you if you would like my
• 9:11
  help to get your ex back, you can contact me at
• 9:13
  theartoflove.net/coaching and we will send you the rates.
• 9:18
  They are not on the website. And for my ongoing coaching
• 9:22
  clients, I am available seven days a week, 16 hours a day, and
• 9:28
  the other 8 hours I am sleeping. So I know that emergencies come
• 9:33
  up and you need to speak with me right away or be in contact.
• 9:38
  So you're always able to text me if you're an ongoing client,
• 9:42
  like I said, not a first time client, an ongoing client.
• 9:45
  And if you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe,
• 9:49
  and share. If you're listening to this as a
• 9:51
  podcast, please rate and review. And finally, remember, love
• 9:56
  inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.