Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: First Time First Class

Transcript

Phone Tap: First Time First Class · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning time for your
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: prank call. And today we speak to a guy who
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: just booked his very first international flight. Oh he he's
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: never been out of the country before, does not know
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: what to expect. Man, so exciting. Yeah, he's about to learn,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: thanks to his wife who set him up for this,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: that when you fly first class international, things are very different.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's going to ruin himself forever. He's
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: either gonna love it or really love it. In your
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: phone tap right now. Hello, good morning. Am I speaking
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: with a mister Jason.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Is he hi Jason.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: My name is Freddy. I'm calling from Airlines Customer Service.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Oh sure, Hi, Hi, you're taking a flight with us
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: this Saturday, NonStop to London.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Hi. I am yet great.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Now it says you're flying first class, but you haven't
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: filled out any of the passenger preference selections off our.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: App Oh I didn't know there were such things.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Oh you didn't.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I never flied internationally, so it's like it's
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: kind of my first time. Oh okay.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: In that case, I'm just going to walk you through
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: this over the phone, if that's okay.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a couple of minutes.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Perfect, so I'll just dive right into it. Number one,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: for your pre flight pill, would you prefer ambient zoloft
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: or something harder.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: I didn't really give up drugs on flights.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Only to our first class clientele. I mean, this is
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: an international first class flight, Sir. You spend a lot
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: of money.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: I shouldn't know this was a thing.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Oh it is. I mean, if you wanted me to
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: slap you in the face, I would do it because
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: you are a first class customer and we value your business.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: I don't need to be slapped in the face.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: So no, no, you would slap me, I would take
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: the slapping. I guess I'm good when I think about it.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: No one's ever asked me to slap them pre flight before,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: but if they did, I would.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no slapping, no drugs.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, well great in that case, let's proceed as
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: it pertains to your in flight meal. Would you care
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: to have normal, kosher or shaman blessed?
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: What's shaman blessed?
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: We have a spiritual guide from Northeast Asia bless certain meals.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Before they enter the plane. He is in a transcendent state,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: aligning his chakras to Mother Earth to give you the
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: most perfectly balanced meal.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I mean, what the heck? It is my first international flight,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: right sure, Shaman blessed?
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Okay? Perfect with that selection. There is a chance he
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: may eat some of your meal.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: He's going to eat some of the meal.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Maybe if he's hungry, but it doesn't take the blessing away.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I don't want my meal to be like.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Oh eaten Okay, Well, how plebeian of you. A lot
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: of our first class passengers say that, but I'll mark
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: you down normal.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Is this some type of jokes? I've never heard of
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: anything like this, Like a lot of your first class
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: options are like kind of out there.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: You're the one who's never been on an international flight before.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: That's what you've told me, right, But I'm like an
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: educated adult. I think I would have heard of this.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Well, sir, we try not to advertise this to all
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: the normies and economy, you understand. So anyway, back to
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: your preferences, would you prefer normal toilet seat, heated toilet seat,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: or shaman blessed.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what to say to that.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I don't know a lot about the spirituality behind it.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: But from my understanding, that's where he blesses the meals.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: What So it's like a it's a two for one blessing, So.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: He blesses the meal and the toilet.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, while he's on it, Like, why why are you
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: offering this, sir? Like I've said, it's an international flight,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: so legally we can't do any of these things until
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: we're over nomadic airspace where certain American laws don't apply.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: This is this is just weird and not. I don't
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do anything shaman blessed or I
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: don't want my food near the toilet. I don't want
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: to do that.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: No, did note. I'm gonna put that down for you,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: and uh almost done here. We need to discuss your
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: in flight entertainment again.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Nothing shaman blessed.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: No, of course, there's no shaman involved in the entertainment.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: That's kind of a ridiculous question on your part.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: It's really not, because you've offered it with every other thing, sir.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I'm running short on time here, so if I could
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: just ask you the question, would you prefer regular movies
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: adult content only or super adult content?
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: What the hell is super adult? Oh?
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: So you're interested?
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: No, I just never heard of that.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I just know you must have headphones for the super
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: adult content and earmuffs covering the headphones because it gets
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: pretty loud.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Do you not understand that my wife is on the
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: flight with me. This is like an anniversary Oh.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, so maybe more of an adult plus experience. What
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: when you share headphones, which unfortunately are shaman blessed.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Okay you said that wasn't involved in this. There's no
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: more shaman blessed thing.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Not with the entertainment, but with the headphones.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Yes. Oh and what he blessed them on the toilet?
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Well that I can't speak to, but I do know
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: the shaman bless This prank phone call that we're doing
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: on the radio right now, well set up by your
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: wife of course, because she listens to our radio show.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: What you picking up on this? Because my name is
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: jeff oh yea oh man, god, yeah, man, I'm not
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: from the airline. I'm from brook and Jeffrey. In the morning,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: your wife wanted us to do a phone tap on you.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: She told us that you've never traveled international before. And
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I didn't even get to tell you that as a
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: first class passenger, you get to fly the plane for
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: ten whole minutes. Oh my god, how cool is that.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: As long as it's the Shannon Meals, I'm really looking
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: forward to it. The Weeke Up every morning was phone
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: taps weekday mornings on the twenties, Brook and Jeffrey in
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: the morning.