Latest / FitMitTuro Fitness Podcast / Why Strength Training Feels So Hard to Start After 40

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Why Strength Training Feels So Hard to Start After 40 · FitMitTuro Fitness Podcast

• 1:08
  Turo Virta: If you are over 40 and you know you should start strength training, but you still don't do it consistently, this episode is for you, because here is what I hear all the time. I know strength training would help me. I know I should build muscle. I know it would be good for my bones, metabolism, confidence and health, but then nothing happens, or used for one week, maybe two weeks. Then life gets busy, or you feel sore, or the gym feels intimidating, or you don't know what exercise is to do, or you think you are too weak, or you feel like everyone else knows what they are doing and you don't. And then strength training becomes this thing you know you should do, but it feels too hard to actually start. So today I want to talk about why strength training feels so hard to start after 40. And I want to make it simple, because most women don't need another complicated workout plan. They need a safe and realistic way to beginning. They need to stop thinking strength training means heavy Power Balls, perfect technique five days per week and being confident in the gym from day one. This is not how it works. You don't become confident before you start. You became you become confident by starting small and keeping promises to yourself. So today I'm going to give you a simple framework called lift. L stands for lower the entry point i is ignore perfection. F stands for focus on feeling stronger, and T is track for small wins, because strength training after 40 is not about becoming someone else.
• 3:00
  Turo Virta: It's about rebuilding trust with your body. So let's get into it.
• 3:05
  Turo Virta: So let's first talk about why this topic matters. So after 40 strength training becomes more important, not less important.
• 3:15
  Turo Virta: And I don't say this to scare you. I say because it's empowering, because many women think my body is just changing.
• 3:25
  Turo Virta: My metabolism is broken. I'm getting older. This is just menopause. And yes, your body may be changing. Hormones can change or will change. Sleep can change. Recovery definitely will change. Energy can change.
• 3:47
  Turo Virta: Muscle mass can slowly go down if you don't train. Body fat can becomes easier to gain and harder to lose. And definitely most likely if you are in menopause, your hormones are shifting where you are gaining fat, or where you your body is storing fat. But that doesn't mean that you are powerless.
• 4:12
  Turo Virta: Strength training is one of the best tools you have, not because it fixes everything, but because it gives your body a reason to stay strong. Muscle is not just about looking toned. Muscles.
• 4:28
  Turo Virta: Muscle are helping you to move better. Muscles. Muscle is helping your joints. It boosts your and helps your metabolism.
• 4:39
  Turo Virta: Muscle helps your blood sugar, muscle helps your posture, muscle helps your confidence. It helps you age with more independence when you can carry shopping bags, walk uphill, pick up your kids or grandkids, get up from the floor, travel, hike and live your life without feeling fragile. That matters.
• 5:07
  Turo Virta: And strength training is not only about the mirror, it's about freedom. It's about being able to trust your body, and that is why I care about this so much. Even when people understand this, they still struggle to start. So let's talk about why that happens. So there are several reasons strength training feels hard to start after 40, especially if you have never really done strength training in your life before, before, and most of those reasons are not physical, they are emotional, they are mental, and they are identity based. So Reason one, number one, is that you don't feel like a gym version. And this is a big one.
• 5:56
  Turo Virta: Many people think strength training is for other people, for younger people, for fit people, for people who already know what they are doing. For men, for athletes, for people who wear matching gym clothes and know every machine. So when you walk into a gym, you feel like you don't belong there. You will feel watched. But even if nobody is watching you, you are most likely feeling unsure, uncomfortable, and because discomfort feels bad, your brain's brain wants to avoid it.
• 6:34
  Turo Virta: So you will say, I will start later. But the real reason is not lack of motivation. The real reason is that strength training does not yet fit your identity.
• 6:49
  Turo Virta: You don't see yourself as someone who lifts weights, and that is known, but identity change is through action. So you don't need to feel like a chim person to begin you become someone who trains by training, even if it's messy, even if it's short, even if it's at home, even if you only knew five exercises. Because that still counts. Reason number two is that you are afraid of doing it wrong, and this is also very common. You think that, what if my technique is bad. What if I hurt myself? What if I use the wrong weight? What if people touch me? What if I look stupid?
• 7:34
  Turo Virta: And honestly, this fear makes sense, because if you are new to strength training, it can feel confusing. There are many exercises, machines, free weights, programs, different advice online. One person, person says to do this, another person says, Never do that. And suddenly, strength training feels like test you are not prepared for, so you avoid it.
• 8:01
  Turo Virta: But here is the truth, you do not need to know everything to start. You need a few basic movements. You need to start light. You need to learn. You need to repeat. You need to give yourself permission to be a beginner. Nobody is afraid at something on day one. You would never expect a child to ride a bike perfectly the first time, but adults often expect themselves to walk into a gym and feel confident immediately.
• 8:34
  Turo Virta: That is not fair, because you are allowed to learn. Reason number three is that you think it has to be intense. And many people think strength training means heavy weights, pain, sweat, soreness, pushing to failure, being destroyed after every season. But that is not true. Good strength training does not need to destroy you, especially in the beginning. In fact, if you go too hard too soon, you are more likely to quit, because when you are sore for four days, you will feel exhausted and you think this is too much, and your brain is going to tell you, let's not do that again. Strength training should challenge you, but it should not punish you. There is a difference. Good workout should make you feel I worked, not I broke myself, especially if you are starting again after years away from training, start where you are, not where you think you should be, and this is the hardest point. It was something, what I struggled personally, when I restarted strength training at almost 40 after over a decade break. And it was, of course, I remember how much weight I used in my 20s, 30s, and then I think that, oh, now I'm getting just back into it, and I I should be using not maybe I understood that it can't be the same weights, but close there, and I knew that, okay, I had a squats. I was squatting with 150 200 kilos in my best times, and now I restarted it. I had a I was thinking that it can't be that hard. And when I put 50 kilos in a bar that felt already super heavy, and with 60 kilos, I tried like couple reps, my legs were shaking. And honestly, after that, I couldn't walk for several days, and I was thinking that, holy shit, what have happened to me? I have lost all my strength. But there is a good thing, if you have ever done some strength training in the past, it's called muscle memory, and that is a real thing. It means that you are strength is really hard to build, but it's relatively easy to get back to the same level, not above your earlier level, but close, at least close to levels you used to be at some point of your life. So there is a huge advantage to if you have trained in some part of or some point of your life. But it doesn't mean that you need to have it. It's just an advantage if you have ever trained in your when you were younger, with the weights.
• 11:35
  Turo Virta: So reason number four is that you compare yourself to your younger self, and that was definitely me. And this is, this is very painful, especially for many women, because, like I said, that was my story. But you might also remember what you used to do, how you used to look, how much energy you used to have. Maybe you trained before. Maybe you were active before kids, maybe were running, dancing, playing sports or went to classes, and now it feels different. You will feel weaker.
• 12:13
  Turo Virta: You will you will feel stiffer, slower, you have less confidence. And instead of seeing this as a starting point, you see it as a proof that something is wrong, but it is not proof that something is wrong, just information. Your current body is your starting point, not your enemy. You cannot be seen. Your way back into strength. You build your way back one rep at the time.
• 12:48
  Turo Virta: Reason number five is that you don't know what enough looks like. Because many women don't start because they think they need a perfect plan, three days or five days, machines or free weights, full body or split training, heavy weights or light weights, home or gym, how many repetitions, how many sets, how long? And because they are overwhelmed, they do nothing.
• 13:18
  Turo Virta: This is why simple beats perfect. A Basic Plan, done consistently is better than the perfect plan. You never start.
• 13:27
  Turo Virta: You do not need 20 exercises.
• 13:27
  Turo Virta: You need a few repeated basics.
• 13:34
  Turo Virta: You need to learn them. You need to get slightly better over time, and that is strength training, not random workouts, not confusion, not punishment.
• 13:42
  Turo Virta: And what about them biggest mistakes? Because what I see is one of the biggest mistake people make is starting to pick take off from nothing to four workouts per week. New diet, 10,000 steps, no sugar.
• 14:03
  Turo Virta: Challenges, no alcohol.
• 14:03
  Turo Virta: Challenges, early morning routine, everything at once, and for a short time, it feels exciting. I get it because motivation is high, but then real life comes back, work gets busy. Sleep is maybe bad. Kids need help. Your energy drops, and suddenly the pain is too heavy to carry. So people quit, and then they think, I failed again. But often the problem was not the person. The problem was the plan. The plan was not built for real life. It was built for fantasy life, fantasy life where everything goes perfectly, and real life is where you are tired on Wednesday, dinner needs to be cooked. Someone needs something from you, and your workout window disappears. So the plan must work in a real life. This is why I like to say don't build the plan for your best week.
• 15:06
  Turo Virta: Build it your normal week or your worst week, because your normal week is the one you actually live. If you can realistically train two times per week, start with two if you can do 25 minutes, start with 25 minutes. If you have dumbbells at home, start there. If you are afraid of the gym, don't make the gym the first barrier you can always build later. But first you need a foundation. You do not build trust by making big promises and breaking them. You build trust by making realistic promises and keeping them, and that is the key. So I want to make this like really practical.
• 15:52
  Turo Virta: If strength training feels hard to start after folding, I want you to use lift framework L, low means lower the entry point i is ignore perfection. If focus on feeling stronger and the track small wins. Let's go through each one so the first step is lower the entry point. This means make it easier to begin, not because you are weak, because starting is the hardest part, and a lot of people think they need to raise their standards, but in the beginning, you often need to lower the entry point so the habit can actually start. For example, instead of saying I need to go to the gym three times per week for one hour, say I will do 225 minute strength sessions this week. And instead of saying I need to train my whole body perfectly, say I will practice five basic movements. Instead of saying I need to lift heavy, say that I will learn the technique first. Instead of saying I need to feel confident, say that I will show up nervous and still do it. And that is the shift.
• 17:15
  Turo Virta: Lowering the entry point doesn't mean lowering the goal. It means building the path to the goal.
• 17:25
  Turo Virta: If you want to climb a mountain, you don't start by jumping to the top. You take the first step, then the next, then the next. And strength training is the same. Your first goal is not to become strong in one week.
• 17:39
  Turo Virta: Your first goal is to become, become someone whose arts and that is powerful. So what could a low entry strength plan look like? Very simple, two times per week, 20 to 30 minutes, full body basic exercises, for example, squats, glute, bridges, incline push ups, dumbbell row or bent rows, tip box or plank some kind of ab exercises, and that is enough to begin. You can do two to three rounds. You can start with body weight. You can use light dumbbells. You can rest when needed. You can focus on control. And this is strength training. It doesn't have to look impressive on Instagram. It has to be repeatable. And for many women, the first win is not I lifted heavy. The first win is I started because starting changes the story. The second step is ignore perfection.
• 18:45
  Turo Virta: Perfection is one of the biggest enemies of consistency, and many people don't start because they are waiting until they know exactly what to do. They want the perfect program, the perfect time, the perfect equipment, the perfect gym, the perfect energy, the perfect body, but the perfect is a trap. You don't need perfect. You need practice.
• 19:10
  Turo Virta: Strength training is a skill, a skill that you improve by doing, not by thinking. You can watch 100 videos about squats, but at some point you need to squat.
• 19:27
  Turo Virta: You can read about protein and muscle, but at some point you need to train and eat. You can wait until you feel ready, but readiness usually comes after action, not before. And here is something important, your first workouts are allowed to be awkward. They are allowed to feel strange because you might not know where to put your feet.
• 19:54
  Turo Virta: You might feel uncoordinated.
• 20:00
  Turo Virta: You might need to look at the video three times. You might forget the exercise name. You might need to use lighter weights than you expected, and that is fine. That is not failure. That is learning. And I see this all the time. People think I'm bad at this, but really they are just new. New and bad are not the same thing.
• 20:23
  Turo Virta: If you are new. You need repetition, you need feedback, you need patience. You need simple exercises repeated long enough to improve. So ignore perfection. Do the basic version. Use a safe range of motion. Start light, focus on control and repeat. Let me give you an example. Maybe you see someone online doing a beautiful deep squat with heavy weights, but for you, the best starting point might be sitting down to a chair and standing back up. That is not less valuable, that is appropriate. Maybe someone else is doing push ups on the floor, but for you, the best starting point might be push up against a wall or bench. This is not failure. That is smart progression. Maybe someone else is doing heavy deadlifts, but for you, the best starting point might be learning hip hints with the stick or light dumbbells.
• 21:34
  Turo Virta: This is how you build. Ignoring Perfection doesn't mean being careless. It means choosing progress over pressure. Then the third step, and that is, focus on feeling stronger. And this is very important, because many people start strength training because they want to lose weight or change how they look, and that is totally okay. There is nothing wrong with wanting to change your body. But if the only thing you measure is the skill scale or the mirror?
• 22:07
  Turo Virta: Strength training can feel frustrating at first, because the scale may not change quickly. Your body may need time. Muscles take time. Fat Loss takes time, but strength training can improve much sooner. You may notice I can do more reps. This weight feels easier. My back hurts less. I can carry shopping bags better.
• 22:38
  Turo Virta: I can get up from the floor easier. I feel more stable. My posture feels better. I feel proud of myself. And these are powerful wins, and they often happen before pragmatic visual changes. And this is why I want you to focus on feeling stronger, because feeling stronger builds motivation, not fake motivation, real motivation, the kind that comes from evidence. And when you see yourself improving, you start to believe, maybe I can do this and that belief matters, especially after 40 when many women have spent years feeling like their body is working against them.
• 23:25
  Turo Virta: Strength training can change that relationship. Instead of seeing your body as a problem to fix, you start seeing it as something you can build. And that is a huge shift, and it is one of the reasons I love strength training. It teaches you that your body can still adapt, your body can still learn, your body can still get stronger. And it's not too late.
• 23:53
  Turo Virta: You are not too old, you are not too far gone. You just need to start at the right level and keep going. So instead of only asking, Did I lose weight? Ask, do I feel stronger? Do I move better? Do I have more confidence? Did I keep the promise I made to myself? Did I improve one small thing, and those questions will keep you going much longer, and the scale alone, the first fourth step is track small wings, because most people track too little, or they track the wrong things. They only notice what is not changing, the way it is not moving or moving too slow. The belly is still there. The clothes don't fit the way they want. They don't feel confident yet, and because they don't see small wins, they think nothing is happening, but something may be happening. You need to notice it. Small wins are the evidence your part your brain needs, for example, you train twice this week. This is a win. You learned three exercises. That is a win.
• 25:18
  Turo Virta: You used one kilo heavier dumbbells. That is a win. You did two more repetitions. That is a win. You felt less nervous in the gym. That is a win. You recovered faster. That is a win.
• 25:36
  Turo Virta: You didn't quit after missing one workout. That is a big win.
• 25:42
  Turo Virta: Track, these things, write them down. Use an app, use a notebook, use a calendar, track take progress pictures, measure strength, track how you feel, because if you don't track wins, your brain will track failures.
• 25:57
  Turo Virta: That is what many people do.
• 26:02
  Turo Virta: They remember every missed workout, every mistake, every bad meal, every time they felt weak, they but they ignore the progress, and that is not fair.
• 26:12
  Turo Virta: You need to train your attention. Look for evidence that you are becoming stronger.
• 26:23
  Turo Virta: This is especially important in the beginning, because the first weeks are about building identity. You are proving to yourself, I am someone who trains and every small win supports that identity. So don't wait for huge transformation before you allow yourself to feel proud. Be proud of the first trip, be proud of sewing up, be proud of learning, be proud of starting again. Buy this fuel. Same is heavy use the fuel. So now let's make this even more practical. So if you are over 40 and strength training feels hard to start.
• 27:10
  Turo Virta: Here is a simple beginner structure. You don't need to copy it perfectly, but use it as an example. Start with two workouts per week. Each workout 20 to 35 minutes, full body, simple movements, for example, it could be some kind of warm up, like walking on a place, knee circles, Shoulder Circles, hip circles, body weight squats and then main workout, squats, glute, bridges, incline, push ups, dumbbell rows and bang, Do two sets of feet each, maybe around 10 repetitions each exercise, and that is enough.
• 27:53
  Turo Virta: Then second workout, it could be some kind of split squat, or step up Romanian deadlift or or dumbbell deadlift, or some kind of hip hinge movement, shoulder press, band pull apart, or rowing exercise and side plank, or bird dog and all of these two sets around eight to 10 repetitions. Again, it's very simple, and you don't need 15 exercises. You need basic repeated at end of each workout, ask, did I feel safe? Did I learn something? Can I repeat this? If yes, that is a good starting plan. After a few weeks, you can add one more set, slightly more weight, a few more reps, a third workout, more challenging exercises, but don't rush. Your body needs time to adapt. Your mind needs time to so let's talk about now about soreness, because this stops many people. When you start strength training, you may feel sore, especially after the first few workouts, and that doesn't always mean something is wrong.
• 29:13
  Turo Virta: It often means your body needs something new, but there is a difference between normal soreness and pain. Normal soreness usually feels like muscle tenderness, stiffness, discomfort when moving better after warming up, gone in few days. Pain is different. Pain.
• 29:38
  Turo Virta: Pain may feel sharp. It's often joint based, worse during movement, increasing each set sensing how you move, and that is a sign to adjust. So here is the rule. Muscle soreness is normal. Joint Pain needs attention. So you don't need to be scared of every feeling, but you also don't need to ignore your body. Start lighter than you think, leave a few reps in the tank, and you don't need to go to failure. You don't need to be sore to make progress.
• 30:16
  Turo Virta: Actually being sore can hurt consistency, because if you train so hard that you can't fork for four days you are less likely to repeat it. Your goal in the beginning is not maximum soreness. Your goal is repeatability train in a way that makes you say, I can do this again, because that is the sweet spot you are looking for.
• 30:46
  Turo Virta: Then many women ask, Will strength training help me lose weight? The answer is yes, but maybe not in in the way you think, strength training doesn't always burn as many calories during the workout as cardio, but it helps you build and maintain muscle, and muscle matters more for your body, shape, metabolism and long term health. If you only diet and do cardio, you may lose weight, but you can also lose muscle, then you may become smaller, but not necessarily stronger or more toned. Strength training helps you keep the muscle while losing fat, and that is what actually creates the look many women want stronger. Arms, better posture, firmer. Legs, more shape, more confidence, but you need to practice, because strength training is not instant. It's like planting seeds. You don't plant today and expect a tree tomorrow. You water, you repeat, you wait, you trust the process.
• 32:03
  Turo Virta: And the first few weeks may not look dramatic, but they matter.
• 32:08
  Turo Virta: Your nervous system learns, your technique improves, your confidence grows, your muscles start adapting. The results are building even before you see everything in the mirror. So if weight loss is your goal, strength training is still important, but don't use only the scale to touch it. Use strength. Use pictures. Use tape measurements. Use how your clothes fit. Use energy. Use confidence. Use function, because progress is bigger than weight. So now let's talk about then the gym. Because many women feel intimidated. They think everyone is watching. They think they don't belong there. They think they need to know everything before they go. But most people in the gym are focused on themselves. They are not thinking about you as much as you think, and even if some someone notices you. So what you are allowed to be there. You are allowed to try to learn. You are allowed to start. But if gym feels too much right now, don't make the gym the first battle.
• 33:30
  Turo Virta: Start at home. Use bends, use dumbbells, use body weights.
• 33:35
  Turo Virta: Pick the habit first, then if you want move to the gym later, because there is no rule that strength training must start in a gym, the best starting place is the place where you actually will start. That might be your living room, your garage, your bedroom, a quiet corner outside the gym. All are fine. The important thing is not where you train. The important thing is that you start. If you do go to the gym, make it simple. Have a plan before you enter. Know your first three exercises. Don't walk around trying to decide, because that creates anxiety.
• 34:22
  Turo Virta: You can even start with machines, because machine Skype the movement and feel safer.
• 34:31
  Turo Virta: There is nothing wrong with machines. Free weights are great. Machines are great. Pants are great. Body weight is great.
• 34:39
  Turo Virta: The tool matters less than consistency and progress. So what if you have then pain or old injuries? Because many people after 40 have something, knee pain, back pain, shoulder pain, stiff stiff, hips, old injury, fear of movement, and this often stops them from training. But here is an important idea. You don't always need to stop training. You often need to change the exercise. If squats hurt, maybe start with Box squats or sit to stand. If lunge is hurt, maybe use step ups or supported split squats.
• 35:21
  Turo Virta: If push ups hurt, drive wall, push ups or incline. Push Ups.
• 35:27
  Turo Virta: If running hurts, walk or use a bike. If your solar herds overhead, use a different angle.
• 35:38
  Turo Virta: The question is not always, what can I do? The better question is, what can I do safely? And this is a big mindset shift, of course, if you have a real pain, get help from qualified professional don't ignore serious symptoms, but don't let one painful movement make you think your whole body is broken.
• 36:04
  Turo Virta: There is always, or almost always something you can do training should meet you where you are, and this is coaching, not forcing your body into exercises that don't fit after 40 smart training is not about proving toughness. It's about building capacity, and now I want to talk something little bit for many women, starting strength training is emotional.
• 36:36
  Turo Virta: It brings brings up thoughts like I let myself go. I should have started earlier. I feel embarrassed. I don't recognize my body. I used to be stronger.
• 36:46
  Turo Virta: I'm scared it won't work. And these thoughts are heavy, and they can make feel starting even harder. So I want you to say say this to you clearly you don't need to hate your body in the strength training, you can start from respect, not punishment, and you can say to yourself, my body deserves support. My body deserves strength. My body has carried me through a lot. Now I want to take care of it, and that is very different energy.
• 37:30
  Turo Virta: Strength training should not be punishment for gaining weight.
• 37:34
  Turo Virta: It should be a way to build the next version of you, a version that feels capable, strong, stable, confident, not perfect, not younger, not someone else.
• 37:53
  Turo Virta: You stronger. And this matters, because there, when the reason is same, you quit. When Same, same gets away, but when the reason is care. You can keep going so So ask yourself, in my training because I hate my body or because I want to take care of it, that question can change everything. And this episode is really all about identity. You may not feel like someone who strengthens yet, and that is okay. You don't need to believe it fully on day one. You just need to start collecting proof.
• 38:39
  Turo Virta: One workout is proof. One set is proof. One walk into the gym is proof. One week of two workouts is proof. Adding weight is proof. Learning an exercise is proof. And over time, your brain starts to believe. I do this, I train I am becoming stronger, and that is how identity changes, not from a motivational quote from but from repeat evidence. So instead of saying, I'm not a team person, say I'm learning to strength train.
• 39:23
  Turo Virta: Instead of saying and too weak, say I'm starting where I am, instead of saying it's too late.
• 39:29
  Turo Virta: Say my body can still adapt, instead of saying, but I failed before. Say I know more now.
• 39:43
  Turo Virta: Words matter. Your story matters, and your actions can rewrite the story. So let's recap the lift framework, l lower the entry point. Start smaller than your ego bonds make it easy to begin. I ignore perfection. You don't need to know everything you need practice. If focus on feeling stronger. Don't only taste the scale, notice strength, confidence and function. T track small wins. Write down your progress so your brain sees the evidence. This is how you start strength training after 40 without making it overwhelming, not with punishment, not with perfection, not with fear, with simple repeated action. So here is your challenge for this week.
• 40:44
  Turo Virta: Choose your first strength training step, not the perfect plan, not the big plan. The first step, maybe it is 220 minute workouts, or one homework out, or learning five basic exercises, or joining the gym and doing a simple machine circuit, or asking for help, but choose something, because waiting until you feel ready is often the thing that keeps you stuck. You don't become ready by waiting. You become ready by starting. And remember, strength training after 40 is not about trying to be 25 again. It's about becoming strong for the life you want now, strong enough to move well, strong enough to trust your body, strong enough to live with more confidence.
• 41:39
  Turo Virta: And if this episode helped you, share it with someone who knows they should start strength training but feels unsure where to begin. And if you want help building a training and nutrition routine that actually fits your life, you can check out my coaching coaching options at personaltainer Turo that it thank you so much for listening and talk to you in the next episode.