Latest / The Daily Sarcast / September 14th, 2026: Waymos Call The Cops, Girl Scout Cookies For Dogs And A Lindsey Life Update

Transcript

September 14th, 2026: Waymos Call The Cops, Girl Scout Cookies For Dogs And A Lindsey Life Update · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is brought to you by the Apology App.
• 0:03
  Did you accidentally cancel plans you never wanted to attend?
• 0:07
  Did you leave someone on read for three days?
• 0:10
  Did you say we should definitely hang out soon, even though you actually never meant it?
• 0:15
  Don't worry, the Apology App has you covered. They'll craft a heartfelt apology
• 0:20
  that sounds very sincere, takes absolutely no responsibility,
• 0:24
  and guarantees you don't have to change your behavior. The Apology App.
• 0:28
  We're sorry that you had to find out this way.
• 0:31
  Arugula can be a substitute for Parmesan cheese. Gwyneth Paltrow on the Today Show the other day.
• 0:37
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and made me a laugh.
• 0:42
  I'm Lindsay Vernick, and today is September 14th, 2026.
• 0:46
  The U.S. Open ended yesterday, and when I was writing the podcast for today,
• 0:51
  I was asking my mom on her input.
• 0:53
  And even though my mom does not like when I talk about her on the podcast,
• 0:57
  I made sure that I definitely did today.
• 1:00
  And she thinks that it is very important that you know that Ben Shelton won
• 1:05
  the U.S. Open yesterday.
• 1:07
  So in real news, California has officially run out of license plate combinations.
• 1:14
  So the state has approximately like a gazillion people.
• 1:18
  And somehow they have had enough room for everyone to drive a Tesla.
• 1:22
  But they finally have run out of ways to put letters and numbers together.
• 1:26
  For the last 46 years, California license plates have followed the same basic
• 1:30
  format, like one number, three letters, three numbers.
• 1:34
  It started in 1980 with 1-AAA-000.
• 1:39
  And earlier this year, California reached the end of the road with 9-ZZZ-99.
• 1:45
  That is literally the final license plate number.
• 1:48
  So now all the employees at the DMV are like, okay, we literally have nothing
• 1:53
  left. I used Z nine times. Like, what do we do?
• 1:56
  So California is changing the format for the first time since the 1980s.
• 2:00
  The new plates will have three numbers, three letters, and one number.
• 2:04
  So instead of 1ABC234, you're going to get something like 000ABC0.
• 2:10
  I know this is all very interesting, right?
• 2:12
  So the DMV has already started producing the new plates, but they haven't actually
• 2:16
  issued the first one to a car yet, because there are still more than 110,000
• 2:21
  plates from the old format sitting around at the DMV and auto club offices waiting to be handed out.
• 2:27
  This new format is expected to last about 40 years, and each configuration has
• 2:32
  more than 100 million possible combinations, so California should be good until about 2066.
• 2:39
  But then in 2066, some poor DMV guy is going to have to be like,
• 2:43
  guys, we're at 999-ZZZ9.
• 2:46
  We're going to have to have this conversation again.
• 2:48
  And here's the other thing. California's license plates are actually made by
• 2:53
  prisoners at the Folsom State Prison.
• 2:55
  More than 100 inmates work at this license plate factory every day as a part of their program.
• 3:01
  I'm also not really sure why other states aren't having this issue yet.
• 3:04
  It's just California, which is interesting, but I don't know.
• 3:08
  So there is your informative DMV lesson for today.
• 3:12
  Okay, so the other day out in
• 3:14
  San Francisco, there were these two kids and they got into a Waymo taxi.
• 3:19
  And if you don't know what a Waymo is, it's these crazy cars in a couple different states now.
• 3:25
  And they're self-driving cars and you can literally take them as taxis.
• 3:29
  I have never been in one yet, but apparently they're very, very cool.
• 3:32
  But I'm nervous to get into one. Anyway, so this car is taking these two kids,
• 3:38
  and then it pulled over and called the cops on them.
• 3:42
  So these two kids apparently had a loaded AR-style ghost gun,
• 3:48
  and then Waymo detected this somehow.
• 3:51
  I'm not sure if they were talking about it or saw it or whatever,
• 3:54
  but said that it was a violation and pulled over and called the police.
• 3:59
  I guess they had to lock the doors, too, or else obviously these kids would
• 4:02
  have just ran out and ran away.
• 4:05
  Apparently, this happened before. Earlier this year, Waymo apparently faked
• 4:11
  having mechanical problems so it could pull over after two people were drinking
• 4:15
  alcohol and firing a two-way gun out of the back of the car.
• 4:19
  The interesting thing about Waymo's is that they're not a person,
• 4:23
  so they can't just, like, look the other way, and it's not up to,
• 4:27
  like, their discretion or anything like that. It's very black or white, literally.
• 4:32
  So the person in the backseat can't just be like, oh, don't worry about it.
• 4:37
  This car has cameras and sensors and software, and apparently a direct line to the cops.
• 4:43
  So remember, the next time that you get into a Waymo, it is watching you.
• 4:48
  And finally, our last news story of the day, a private jet accidentally landed
• 4:54
  at the wrong airport in England this week.
• 4:57
  And the accidental airport that they landed in was a U.S.-operated military airbase.
• 5:03
  This plane was supposed to land at a different airport, but instead it went
• 5:07
  to the military airbase which is about like 11 miles away and it hosts u.s air
• 5:12
  force operations and bombers,
• 5:15
  so a random private jet showing up there was kind of enough to trigger a security response,
• 5:21
  luckily nobody was hurt and the situation was revolved resolved without incident,
• 5:26
  but still how do you accidentally like go on a very nice vacation then end up
• 5:31
  at a u.s military airbase,
• 5:34
  there are only so many places where sorry wrong airport is an acceptable explanation,
• 5:39
  in Lindsay life I just got back from my parents house and,
• 5:44
  I have officially been in respite for like a week now and it is over today I have fully relaxed,
• 5:51
  I have not gone to the gym in over a month today is actually my first day back
• 5:55
  I'm very excited to get back into the swing of things and of life and start
• 5:59
  the whole looking for a job thing all over again. It's so much fun.
• 6:04
  It's not, but I am really excited to get back into doing some open mics and
• 6:08
  jams and see my friends again and go on some horrible dates. Like, let's do it.
• 6:15
  Thing of the week this week is Girl Scout cookies for dogs. The Girl Scouts
• 6:19
  are launching their first ever dog treats called Girl Scout Dog Tree.
• 6:23
  It's very creative, right? In January.
• 6:26
  They'll be inspired by the classic Girl Scout cookie flavors.
• 6:30
  Apparently dogs have been sitting around watching us eat Thin Mints forever
• 6:33
  now and they're like, we want some too.
• 6:36
  I mean, this is so fun, right? Like every dog deserves a Girl Scout cookie.
• 6:41
  I want to know what flavors they're making. Are they going to be making,
• 6:44
  like, dog flavors, like cookie bacon situations? Or is it going to be,
• 6:49
  like, Thin Mints for dogs?
• 6:52
  I kind of like the Thin Mints for dogs ones. I think that sounds more fun, right?
• 6:56
  But this is definitely the greatest thing that the Girl Scouts have ever done.
• 7:00
  Cooking tip of the day. Staring at your food while it cooks,
• 7:03
  unfortunately, does not make it cook any faster.
• 7:06
  Feedback, comments, questions, and a Jewish boy looking for a date,
• 7:09
  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thank you so much for listening.
• 7:13
  I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.