Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Grocery Psychoanalyst

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Phone Tap: Grocery Psychoanalyst · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

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  Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui Away now offering free remote
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  Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
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  Speaker 1: Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
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  Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred d
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  Speaker 1: Uyowa dot com or call away. Let's get to the
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  Speaker 1: phone tap and today we reach out to a young
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  Speaker 1: woman who recently went through a tough breakup. And we
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  Speaker 1: all know the best way to get over somebody is
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  Speaker 1: to get phone tapped by somebody. Oh that's not That's
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  Speaker 1: not how I say it either. That's what I'm gonna
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  Speaker 1: try to do today. And the person who set her
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  Speaker 1: ups that she might recognize my voice from the radio,
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  Speaker 1: so I had to record it from a cell phone.
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  Speaker 1: So it's not going to sound as professional as it
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  Speaker 1: does in the studio. And I want to apologize to
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  Speaker 1: all of our listeners who are used to hearing my
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  Speaker 1: deep sensual voice. I'm sorry the audio quality. It's just
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  Speaker 1: not going to sound the same already, I know, so
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  Speaker 1: we'll get back to the deep sensuality a little bit later,
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  Speaker 1: but for now, it's time for your phone. Hello. Hey,
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  Speaker 1: it's Kurt from Grocery delivery. I'm looking for Sheila. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: this is her. Hi, Sila, I'm your shopper today. I
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  Speaker 1: just I wanted to ask you about a couple of substitutes. Okay, sure, Um,
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  Speaker 1: By any chance, did you just go through a breakup? Well, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. What Hopefully I'm not being too forward, but
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  Speaker 1: did someone dump you recently? How is that any of
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  Speaker 1: your business? I just I'm looking at your shopping list
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  Speaker 1: and I saw two boxes of refined cereals and a
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  Speaker 1: package of processed ham. How do you get a breakup
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  Speaker 1: from that? Well, I'm a psychology major at the local university,
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  Speaker 1: and in my studies I've learned those types of food
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  Speaker 1: or what people tend to eat if they're feeling anxious
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  Speaker 1: and sad. What. So you know, I went and I
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  Speaker 1: looked you up on Instagram just to yeah, I looked
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  Speaker 1: you up on Intagram. This is part of my job.
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  Speaker 1: How is that a part of your job? Well, I
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  Speaker 1: want to get to know the people that i'm delivering too.
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  Speaker 1: And I noticed there's a guy on there a few
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  Speaker 1: months ago, but he's not in any of your recent
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  Speaker 1: on my Instagram. I was just trying to be helpful. Well,
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  Speaker 1: it's not helpful, and I just need you to deliver
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  Speaker 1: my grocery that I don't need to be like analyzed
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  Speaker 1: by a psych student. Okay, all right, I didn't mean
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  Speaker 1: to step on any toes here. Just let me continue
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  Speaker 1: through the list. Is that okay? Fine? But you shouldn't
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  Speaker 1: be snoop had people's instagrams. Okay, noted? So I went
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  Speaker 1: ahead and I replaced some of your pastries with salmon. Wait,
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  Speaker 1: did you say you replaced my danishes with salmon? Salmon
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  Speaker 1: and bok CHOI no, how would you think that that's
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  Speaker 1: an equal substitution. Oh it's not. It's definitely more expensive,
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  Speaker 1: but the folic acid is off the chart. Can you
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  Speaker 1: stop and understand what you're doing. It's because salmon is
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  Speaker 1: a mood booster, and I know breakups can be hard.
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  Speaker 1: I just wanted to make you feel better after getting done.
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  Speaker 1: You know what you need to do is shut up,
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  Speaker 1: get the groceries that are on my list from to
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  Speaker 1: my house, and I don't need to hear any of
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  Speaker 1: your extras shop. Okay, Well, can I just make one suggestion? No,
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  Speaker 1: you can't just tell me the substitute like the real ones.
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  Speaker 1: I won't make a suggestion then, I'll just put it
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  Speaker 1: in the form of a question like in Jeopardy, and
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  Speaker 1: the question is what does red wine, pumpkin risotto, and
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  Speaker 1: vegan chick be noodle soup having commons? I don't care.
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  Speaker 1: You might care if you knew that those are just
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  Speaker 1: a few foods recommended by the Clinical Psychological Association that
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  Speaker 1: can help you feel recharged. Okay, you are obviously not
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  Speaker 1: getting the message at this point. I will be talking
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  Speaker 1: to your supervisor. All right, extremely inappropriate. You're not really
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  Speaker 1: mad at me here. You're mad at your X, aren't
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  Speaker 1: you stop. That's why I'm saying the B six vitamin
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  Speaker 1: supplement that I put into your car it's going to
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  Speaker 1: do wonder. I am done. I am done with this call. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: I guess I'm done too, and I should probably tell
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  Speaker 1: you I'm breaking up with you as your grocery delivery guy.
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  Speaker 1: You think so well. I know I don't think I'm funny,
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  Speaker 1: but I guess your friend Hannah does. Okay, what now
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  Speaker 1: you know about my friend Hannah? Is that from stalking
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  Speaker 1: my Instagram too? I should probably just tell you the truth.
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  Speaker 1: And that's what My name's Jeff and her work on
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  Speaker 1: a morning radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
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  Speaker 1: Hannah set you up for a phone tap. Wait, she
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  Speaker 1: said you needed to pick me up after getting out
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  Speaker 1: of a long term deal with a guy. She thought
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  Speaker 1: this might make you laugh. Oh wait, so she thought
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  Speaker 1: it would be a good idea to pray for me
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  Speaker 1: after a break up. Well, she thought a prank phone
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  Speaker 1: call might lift your spirits a little bit. She said,
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  Speaker 1: you've been feeling kind of down. Oh my god, I'm
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  Speaker 1: so sorry. We just wanted to make you feel better
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  Speaker 1: and make you laugh. And Hannah said you'd be a
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  Speaker 1: good sport once you found out it was a joke.
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  Speaker 1: When you said that you were taking away my genishes,
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  Speaker 1: that is like what really got me mad. I mean
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  Speaker 1: like that's when somebody's gaining a ship after a break up.
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  Speaker 1: Wey if it makes you feel better. I also have
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  Speaker 1: your ex's grocery order. He wants seven sleeves of raw
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  Speaker 1: cookie dough, so it sounds like he's doing great. Wait,
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  Speaker 1: what week up every morning with food tabs weekday mornings
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  Speaker 1: on the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning