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From Inherited Wounds to Resilience: How to Break the Cycle Of Generational Trauma · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
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  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you for taking your time to spend with me.
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  SPEAKER_00: And today I want to dive into a very impactful topic around generational trauma.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a conversation that has been popping up in coaching calls that I've had recently, as well as I've just been seeing more and more commentary around this concept of generational trauma.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so I felt that it was something that we should probably talk about.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because when we think about generational trauma, it is something that does influence our well-being and shape the way we live and the way that we interact with other people.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: But here is something to remember: just because trauma has been passed down from generation to generation does not mean that you are beholden to it.
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  SPEAKER_00: You do have the ability to work through it and to break some of those generational trauma ties.
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  SPEAKER_00: So let's start talking about how we can identify it.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, more importantly, what do we do with it?
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  SPEAKER_00: So the basics.
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  SPEAKER_00: What even is generational trauma?
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  SPEAKER_00: Let's start there.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's called intergenerational trauma, sometimes it's called transgenerational trauma.
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  SPEAKER_00: But really, what we're talking about is the emotional, psychological, and physical wounds that we experience as patterns from families, sometimes even cultures, and it's carried over time.
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  SPEAKER_00: So if you think about how grandparents' experiences maybe with war, have a system or a systematic oppression or poverty, and then it might shape how they raise their children.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And there might be a sense of uh scarcity or fear of scarcity.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so then their children grow up with that, and then eventually they're transferring that to their children and so on and so forth.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it's not always obvious.
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  SPEAKER_00: Generational trauma can uh definitely create difficulty in forming healthy relationships, it can create struggles with your own self-worth and identity, and it can show up physically in some people, as some studies have shown, that it can alter genes, it can affect how stress is processed.
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  SPEAKER_00: But one of the more challenging things about generational trauma is that it's often invisible.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so we don't always recognize the patterns as they've been part of the normal or how we've been conditioned.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, a question that you can ask yourself are what stories or beliefs have been passed down in your family that might be limiting or harmful?
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  SPEAKER_00: Generational trauma is one thing, but how do you actually work through it and how do you heal through it?
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  SPEAKER_00: So when we're talking about healing generational trauma, it's not about blaming our parents or grandparents.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is not about blame or shame, it's about understanding, understanding of their stories, understanding of how those stories shaped them and then shaped us.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it is about compassion for both them and ourselves.
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  SPEAKER_00: So we begin to identify the recurring themes in the family.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, is there a pattern of suppressing emotions?
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  SPEAKER_00: Is there a pattern around fear of money or instability or a tendency towards perfectionism?
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  SPEAKER_00: Once you notice these patterns and can start naming them, you can start recognizing that maybe this is a generational fear of scarcity.
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  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this happens time and time again when we're talking about money wounds.
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  SPEAKER_00: We will recognize that it's a generational fear of scarcity.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so then what do we do with it?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, oftentimes when we're healing through it, we we do have to start setting boundaries.
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  SPEAKER_00: And if you've been following my podcast, you know that I talk about boundaries all the time.
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  SPEAKER_00: But when we're thinking about how do we start healing through these traumas, it is about setting boundaries around what you're gonna let in versus what you're not.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And working with a, you know, an informed coach, a trauma-informed coach or trauma-informed therapist can be very helpful to process the inherent pain in a supportive environment.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if you grew up in an environment where your emotions weren't validated, you might you might start to reparent by telling yourself it's okay to feel this way.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: You might start to reparent by even naming the emotion in the first place, and then telling yourself that those emotions are valid and you are safe.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Reparenting means becoming the parent or the caregiver that you needed, offering yourself that unconditional love, patience, and understanding.
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  SPEAKER_00: So asking yourself, what did I need as a child that I didn't receive?
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  SPEAKER_00: And how can I give that, give that to myself now is very important.
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  SPEAKER_00: Trauma often pulls us out of the present moment and pulls us back into the past.
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  SPEAKER_00: So practicing mindfulness, practicing being in the present moment can guide you towards what is right for you now and what is the truth for you now.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, reclaiming that story.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, what kind of life do you want to create for yourself?
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  SPEAKER_00: And how does that differ from the patterns of your past?
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  SPEAKER_00: You might say that my family taught me to fear being vulnerable.
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  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm choosing to actually bring connection and growth, and I'm choosing it through allowing vulnerability into my life.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it's not about erasing the past, it's about transforming it and it's about saying, okay, this is what happened and this has shaped me, but now how do I want to move forward defining myself?
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  SPEAKER_00: And so when we do this work, we actually create our own resilience and we create a new way of showing up.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so it breaks that generational trauma.
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  SPEAKER_00: It allows you to break that cycle because then you start showing up differently and you start showing and demonstrating for the next generation that they don't have to repeat those same patterns.
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  SPEAKER_00: Children don't know anything other than what we show them.
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  SPEAKER_00: So if we show them what it looks like to process emotions or we show them what it looks like to recognize fears and to work through them, they will take that in and they will, they will show up differently as they grow up.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it is also about in terms of breaking the cycle, it is about talking about it.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's about giving it dialogue and to saying and to not just be in a silo and and you know, keep it quiet and to yourself.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's about sharing it with others and to celebrate that progress as you're making it.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to talk about generational trauma and how you heal, you know, I've done extensive uh training in trauma-informed and trauma-sensitive coaching.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I'm absolutely open to having a conversation with you, which you can book anytime at coachwithcomedy.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay well.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
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  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Username it's authenticme.
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  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.