Latest / The Reformed Tired Girls Club Podcast / No Thanks, I Actually Don't Want to Suffer in Silence
Transcript
- Heather Copfer: guys, back to the Reform Tired Girls Club podcast. ⁓ Today's is gonna be a little bit of a vulnerable one. ⁓ We're talk about why going through health issues ⁓ alone makes a thousand times harder. So to be frank, not everyone is born into a solid support system. Unfortunately, not all of us have the greatest parents, have the greatest ⁓ home environment, that space that feels safe for us as children to express ourselves and to be ourselves and to discover who we are. And I know I'm not alone this, so I would really love ⁓ if you're listening, if this is that you can relate to, I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear ⁓ your experience and your perspective of a kid and ⁓ dealing with ⁓ health issues or mental health and what that was like for you. Because if anyone can relate and if anyone knows ⁓ what it's like to suffer in It's me. It's me. Okay. So kind of, so touching on, you know, those things that I had been through on the health level, right, when I was younger, cystic acne, depression, those were the very prominent ones when I was really young, like teenager, middle school, and then, you know, symptoms slowly progressed as, you know, I went to high school and so on. But my family, so if you're familiar with this type of circumstance, ⁓ not only are you navigating the implications of health issues, ⁓ but now you don't have a safe space. and specifically my family environment was not the healthiest one. Okay? It's not like I had parents I could go to to be like, hey, I am a kid and I am having a really, really hard time with this acne, with these depression episodes. And to be frank, my home environment, I do fully believe And at the end of the day, you don't have people there to comfort you ⁓ and to you that everything's gonna be okay because, honestly, that's what you to hear. That's what you need to hear. That's what you want to hear. You want comfort. You want safety. And it's such a complicated situation. caused a lot of that, you know, my acne. Like I had really bad acne at such a young age and I really do believe it. It wasn't hormonal acne, you know, just took a couple zits here and there, right? ⁓ It was, I like to say it was like psychologically induced and I fully believe that. So again, I would really love to hear from you if this is something that you relate to, if this is something that you understand and want to share your experience. I know there are so many people out there who can relate and like I've said, I really think it helps us heal and it helps others heal when we are able to share our experiences and talk about our situations. And I really just invite you to share if you are Because you know, the thing is when our nervous system is just stuck in fight or flight for so long, that creates health issues. And I wasn't, I didn't have a childhood that was rooted in safety. I didn't have a childhood where I had siblings that I was close with. I didn't have a childhood where I had the best parents. cold too and if you feel comfortable, ⁓ I would love that. Thanks you guys for tuning in to another episode of the Reform Tired Girls Club podcast and I'll see you next week. specifically my father. And so only did ⁓ in fight or flight a child and through my teenage years ⁓ wreck my nervous system, but manifested into these health issues ⁓ that then I didn't have to talk to about it. ⁓ very much remember myself to sleep so. so much and I used to this green table in my bedroom and it held my stereo. And I used to make tally marks in this green table every single day. I just felt so depressed because I don't know why. I just, didn't have anybody to talk to. And growing up, you know, I was born in 1994. So growing up in the early 2000s, mental health wasn't a thing ⁓ we talked about openly. We weren't, ⁓ you know, we are still learning and much so positively progressing towards being open about mental health and ⁓ talking about our emotions and talking about feelings with our friends and our loved ones. But that wasn't a thing back then. ⁓ And you know, I think about this often, but one of the best presents I have ever been given was, it was either fifth or sixth grade. One of my friends in my class gave me a diary for my birthday. And I have been documenting my life and writing my feelings and processing my feelings and my emotions in journals. Or sometimes when my hand would get a little tired, I would resort to online blogging. ⁓ So I kind of go back and forth between virtual journaling and physical journaling. But I got that diary as a present when I was in fifth or sixth grade, and that is where I found solace. That is where I could really... vent and talk about what I was going through, even though it wasn't to anyone in particular. It was a space that I was able to just stop hiding what I was going through. You know, I am along with, you know, not growing up in the most positive childhood environment. What that also... That there was a lot of implications of that, right? But one big thing was that I have struggled my whole life to express myself, to communicate, to bring my thoughts into words. I mean, even talking like this on a podcast, feel a little insecure because I feel like I'm not the most eloquent ⁓ speaker. Sometimes I still have trouble naming my feelings and my emotions and getting my thoughts across. But having a diary my whole life and a journal my whole life has really allowed me to practice that at least in written form. and it was something so simple and I'm sure the girl didn't even realize what a gift she was giving me. Her name was Kaylee. So thank you, Kaylee. Because I'm 31 years old and I still journal. And look, my childhood wasn't all gloom and doom. I want to make that very clear, because things aren't always black and white, right? There's a lot of gray area. I am so grateful that I had soccer growing up. Soccer was my saving grace. And then I had theater. I had two really amazing things in my life, thankfully, that I just loved so much. I still love soccer. I still love theater. but I had amazing times playing soccer and performing on a stage and it really was a safe space for me. And I had really great friends. I'm really blessed and grateful for that too. And I'm still best friends with some girls that I grew up with. But even with all of the positive and with all of the bad, it's like there was this undercurrent always going on beneath the surface. This rich inner world of these complicated feelings and emotions that I was never... able to to get out because like I said and if you were born 19 in the 90s right you know that we didn't talk to our best friends about our emotions and our mental health it just wasn't it just wasn't a thing. And at the end of the day, I still had to go home.