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Episode 51: Your Personality Creates Your Personal Reality · Heal Yourself Podcast

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I'm Denise, a speech-language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind and soul From the latest in functional medicine.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Of healing your body, mind and soul From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even transforming your money story.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: We're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: So, whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Today you have Kira and Denise, and we're talking about two fun subjects that tie together personality and identity.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: About two fun subjects that tie together personality and identity.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I know when we thought about it because, like I have, I was like are they the same?
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Like, to me, identity is more abstract.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Personality is like everybody talks about, like, if you tell somebody personality, they are going, I think, to understand it more than when you say identity.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Some people will be like oh, what are you talking about?
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: more than when you say identity, some people will be like, oh, what are you talking about?
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: And when I left you a message to me, they are still different, but they're together and maybe they are the same.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: We're just presenting them as different ways.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: So I want you to tell me what do you think of with personality?
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Because when I think of that, I'm like, oh, this person's nice, or you have a quiet personality and that's it.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: And it's like, okay, well, what does that have to do with healing?
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: So I know you were doing some reading or something with Wayne Dyer.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: It was somebody, no, joe Dispenza, okay, okay, okay, I switch.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: But you know, you know how I am.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: I go back and forth between, like, mentors and stuff like that, and recently I've been resonating a lot with Joe Dispenza and what really, um, I am going through some rough patch right now.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: So what really resonated with me is because I have heard the identity, identity shift, identity shift.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: But to me and again I'm gonna be I'm gonna be very transparent, very honest.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: English is not my first language, right, and I, I'm an immigrant.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: So I came in to the country when I was 17 years old and I speak four languages, right.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: So there is, there would be some like, what does that mean?
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Like whatever.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: So to me, identity was really abstract.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So if I'm going to tell somebody like, who is 20 or 21 years old, you, in order to heal you gotta, you gotta, you gotta change your identity and shift your identity, they're going to probably look at me like, what are you talking about?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: But personality, because it's more mainstream, right?
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: So Dr Joe Dispenza says your personality creates your personal reality.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, your personality creates your personal reality.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: So if you're not loving your personal reality, you got to change that personality.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: And to me personality is, yes, someone being nice, someone being kind, but also, to me, feels like the personality, because you know how, like sometimes I'll tell you like if someone gets mad, right away they're like well, this is me, that's my personality, that's my personality.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Or they overreact, or they I don't know they overgive, for example, like they over overly give and they don't replenish.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's my personality.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I'm a giver, right.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: So to me, this is what I understand and it makes a lot of sense, like, wait a minute.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: So changing my personality to change my personal reality is also changing the way I react to things, the way that I speak, the way that I use the words and the way that I stay within my truth.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I believe you know what I mean.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how I interpret it, with my own language differences, because you know someone who is an immigrant and is exposed to several languages.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: There is a subtlety in understanding the languages and the vocabulary and to interpret it.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: It does English teacher, ma'am, it does.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: And the thing is is maybe there is a subtle difference.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I don't even care at this point.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean Like.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: The point is, we want to share with you this aspect that's so important and I view it as identity, and I'll tell you guys what I think, because again, we might, we might be speaking the same language, just you know differently, whatever.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: But to me identity is who am I being?
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: So I'll use myself as an example.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Years ago, I identified as someone who had IBS, right, it's not like I would lead with that.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I wasn't proud.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: In fact, that was embarrassing.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I didn't just tell people hey, I have IBS, Nice to meet you.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: But it was like that was a big piece of my identity.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I identified as someone who dealt with ongoing digestive issues, right, and that would play a role in how I showed up in the world.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if I can schedule this event, because what if digestive issues kick in and I have to run to the restroom?
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: It's going to be embarrassing.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Or I mean, I can use an example.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: I've been honest about this one too.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: I am a recovering perfectionist, Like I could be saying.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to set boundaries, but I have to rewrite that identity.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: I have to become a person who has boundaries, because if I'm showing up in the world as someone who still doesn't have boundaries but I'm saying, well, I'm trying to set them, it doesn't work.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: So I do think we're saying the same thing.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: And this is such an important topic because everyone listening is on some type of healing journey, whether it's physical, body, emotional, whatever.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: You cannot change until you change at the identity or personality level.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: You have to.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: And and then you know and you and I have talked about it especially that we've been doing the work, because sometimes, like, yes, we want to Amazon prime everything.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: And we have been doing the work since 2018, you and I, 2018, 2019.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: And just recently, I told you I finally achieved emotional intelligence.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Um, you know, among chaos, I finally can stand in my truth.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: But how do I achieve that?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: That's not overnight, right?
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: So, same thing I talked to my daughter about yesterday, so I'm going to talk about, you know, like it's the subtlety of, like, doing the work, showing up and doing it little by little, and some days you're not going to be able to show up, and some days you are going to to, to, you know, maybe react differently or like the old, the old ways or whatever, but it will all click the more that you do the work, little by little, every single day.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: And then you look, you're like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wow.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Like I can definitely right now be in my truth and be and say things differently or react differently or not react, because I have been doing the work.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: It does.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: It will come, like you know, it will come back to you.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: It's just that it takes time and it takes you showing up every single day.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: You can't just say well, I have been meditating for a year, I've been meditating, I've been journaling for a year and a half and things are not happening.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: But guess what?
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: The work is not going to waste, because it will solidify and it will come to fruition the more you do it and you show up.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: But I do also want to mention oh, I was telling my daughter the same thing, because she kept saying, you know, she beats herself up a lot about dancing.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: And we're talking about it yesterday and we kind of like were able to like be a little bit truthful and I told her.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I said you know, but you also like right now, just about a year or two ago, you decided to focus more in the dance classes, you decided to put more effort in.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: So you can't expect the improvement to happen overnight because guess what, all throughout the other years, you weren't as focused, you weren't as determined, you were fooling around.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Sometimes in classes, you were socializing more than you were paying attention.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: And then you look around, you're like wait a minute, why am I still right here?
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: It's because you know.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Now you decided to put in the effort and guess what?
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: It is going to take time, but don't give up, and that's another thing.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: A lot of people give up before they see the fruits.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: And they didn't adopt that personality or identity, right?
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: So when I first heard that term, like I think it was around money.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Right, like you wanna create wealth to have the identity.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: No, you've got to collapse time or act as is.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: And I'm like so am I supposed to walk into a store and buy something really expensive?
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't understand that.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: It was abstract.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: But even with what you're saying about your daughter, if she identified as a dancer, if that was her personality I'm going to use the terms interchangeably how would she show up in the world?
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: If she was like I'm an amazing dancer, she would be responsible, committed, integral, like showing up for these, practicing all the time.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: It's the same thing in every aspect of your life, right, I'm not just going to say health here.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: It could be in your finances, your relationships.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Like, how am I showing up?
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Do I say every day, oh my gosh, I feel so sick.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: What am I going to do?
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Do I need another supplement?
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Do I need to go see another doctor?
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: You are identifying as a sick person Absolutely.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: And I think I found a little subtle difference.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Because same thing when you were saying, if I'm showing up as I'm an amazing dancer, and what do the amazing dancers do?
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: They practice, they show up, they try, etc.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Same thing with health, let's talk about health.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: If you're saying, let's say you want to say, oh, I need to drink a lot of water, that's not an identity shift.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: However, when you identify I'm a healthy person, what does a healthy person do?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Well, a healthy person drinks water.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: A healthy person eats whole foods.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: A healthy person walks or whatever, or exercises, etc.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Or like you, for example, with the boundaries, I am going to show up.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Or like, for example, with me, I am going to show up as an entrepreneur, as someone who owns the company, versus because I contract with schools, right, so sometimes they may view you as an employee and you're not.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: So I am showing up, I am a business owner.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: So it's not just in my words, it is in the actions and how I talk to people and how I present myself in meetings, et cetera.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: So I feel there is a difference between the identity versus personality, right, so the identity is the core.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Like I am a healthy person, I am a person who has boundaries.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I am abundant, an abundant person.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: I'm not talking abundance like having millions in the bank.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: No, you can be abundant.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: I mean you have food in the fridge, you have a car, you have a cell phone, et cetera.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: You are abundant.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: You look outside and you see flowers.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: You are abundant.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: So if you're showing up as an abundant person, how does an abundant person think, how does an abundant person talk?
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: And then you have that personality where we're used to like you know the impulse or the emotions or how we react to things.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: So that will be part of the personality.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: That can be shifted when you identify with that new identity shift.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Instead of I'm a sick person, I have IBS, I'm a healthy person.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Because I'm a sick person, I have IBS.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: What do you?
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: How do you show up?
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: You're going to make excuses.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: You're not going to go to your friend's event because, guess what, you may flare up, right.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: But when you say I'm a healthy person, you're going to show up differently in the world.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Hence this will affect the personality and how you also react to things and how you present things and how you talk to others and to yourself, and yeah, that well well, and that's the thing we already know thoughts, emotions, all that creates our reality.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: So if we're identifying as this sick person, as this broke person, as whatever it might be, whatever these stories are, you're going to keep attracting that back because your thoughts and your emotions and all that create reality.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: And the thing is is I want to go back to the act, as if because I heard that a lot years ago it's not an overnight thing, like I'll use your daughter as an example again with dancing.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: She's not just going to for one week.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Be like I'm so committed, I'm going to show up and I'm going to be an amazing dancer next week.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: It is an ongoing process with little baby steps, just like if you've been chronically sick, I don't expect you to overnight be like I'm so healthy.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: You're not going to believe that.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Why on earth would you believe that if you felt like crap for decades?
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: But it's little tiny things of.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: I am committed, I am responsible, I'm going to show up and I'm going to tell myself I am working on being a healthy person.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: So those words matter and I know we've done episodes on this.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: But then it's the little shifts that go with that that change the identity of.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, if I am that healthy person, how do I show up in the world?
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: How do I act?
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: How do I treat others?
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: You can start to make those subtle shifts without being like, oh yeah, I feel really freaking amazing right now.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Right, or and I love how you're touching based on that, because act as if it can can get interpreted and perceived differently and same with same with me.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't understand it, but I just love the way that you explained it.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: You know, acting as if it's not like, oh so I'm, I'm acting as if I'm rich, I'm going to go to Cartier and then buy something and put it on the credit card.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: That's not acting as if right, because it can be misinterpreted, but I really love the way that you explained it and it does exactly.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: And nothing happens overnight.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Nothing happens overnight, exactly.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: You can't just expect yourself to be healthy or eat healthy for a week and guess what?
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: no-transcript, all of those things leading up to that.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: If you had a crap ton of stories from generations, good luck.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: You know, one session of meditation is probably not going to not going to do much.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, you did it, it's fine.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: No, I love how we're doing that because it's just it's how we build, and I really love how we do things because we do come from different backgrounds, different experiences, and we bring all that in to the podcast and to how we interpret things, because, guess what, what we're saying has been said, it's not like we're saying has been said.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: It's not like we're saying like things that are new.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: However, we're saying how we are applying it to our own experiences, and it does take time.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you like I swear I've been.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: How many times have I told you I want to achieve peace among chaos?
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I really want to, and and I've been working since my on my mindset, on myself, since 2018, and it was never linear, like, oh, I'm going up, up, up, it was all over the place, but finally I reached a place where, wow, there's chaos happening around me and I'm not losing my emotions and my control.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, like, sometimes I may and you're human right.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: We're not gonna, we're never gonna be perfect however.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: However, I'm bringing back myself to balance right away.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Like it's, it's.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: It's so phenomenal to be like I don't know how to explain it, but it just everything is clicking.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: But they didn't start.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: So I cannot come and say, oh, you know, it's just clicking, everything is great, I, I like, I'm, I'm peaceful among chaos, whatever.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: But I need to tell, I need to tell you know, our listeners, that it's been years of showing up, of doing the work, of, of you know and and hating the work and yelling at the work and be like what the heck is going on.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Why can't it?
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: What can it happen?
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: And then you listen to other podcasts and other people.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, life is roses and daisies, which is great.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, life is roses and daisies, which is great.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, life is roses and daisies.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: But you are putting in the work, you're putting in the effort, little by little, these small shifts, small shifts, small shifts.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: And that's why we're talking about the not giving up, because a lot of people will be like, fuck it, I've been eating healthy.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: How many of your clients may do that?
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Right, oh, I've worked with Kira, or I've worked with several practitioners and I've done everything but they were not healthy at an identity level.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: I'm just throwing that out exactly, but that's another thing.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: You, sometimes, a lot of us, you and I have done it before.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: We have given up, maybe before fruition comes in, but then we were like you know, we talked amongst each other and you know, whatever.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: But it's really, really important to just stay on your path and I believe determination and not giving up on yourself is something that this is true, self unconditional love, loving yourself even, even even when you are betraying yourself.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: And that's what I tell myself.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Even when I find myself betraying myself, I just always say I love you, I love you so much.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I know that I did this.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Please forgive me.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do better in the next moment, because life is moment by moment and that's how you make the shift.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: It's not?
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, you know, I'll start on Monday.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: I'll start on Tuesday.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: I'll start on Monday.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I'll start on Tuesday.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I'll start on, you know, new Year's Day or whatever, which is great, but those don't get you any.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, yeah, I mean they do like for a little bit, but you got to put in the effort every single day, every single day.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: And even when you achieve it, guess what?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: You're going to want more.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you dig deeper and that's how we got into shadow work and the identity thing is a daily thing.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: I had a sticky note on my laptop for the last 12 months no joke, it's finally gone.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: But it said am I being and that was me reminding myself at an identity level for everything I'm doing?
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Who do I want to be in this world and do I have the identity that matches what I'm after?
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: And many times it was no.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, and I know you and I leave messages to each other all the freaking time Sometimes, I know with you, boundaries is a big thing for you, and you had a situation just recently, not too long ago, and we talked through it and again you examined what am I being, et cetera.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: So it's really, really important to constantly analyze it, to constantly, you know, um, also to constantly like, really look within and take accountability, because, at the end of the day, it is all you.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: It is all you, it's all you it is, and that's what I was going to say is whatever your goal is and don't have 5,000 goals right.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: It's not to be rich, it's not to have amazing relationships, it's not to be healthy, like, pick one, pick one thing right now that would make your life better.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And that's where you start with identifying how's my personality around that and is my identity matching the person that needs to be to get that result, if that makes sense?
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: And forgive yourself when you, when you react, um, like the old personality, it doesn't matter, it's fine.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Forgive yourself, cause what we do, sometimes we dwell over it Like, oh my goodness, like, for example, my daughter let's go back to my daughter oh my goodness, mommy, I've been, I put in so much effort, I tried and I'm like, but you just like, literally started practicing like two days ago.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: So it's you know, like it is important to also remind yourself and be graceful throughout.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Right, it's like, okay, fine, I fucked up.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: This time, you know, I forgive myself.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: However, I'm going to try and always do it moment by moment, because our life is present, moment.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: It is now, and I know we've talked about it, we have, um, an episode about that, but it's really, it's the.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: It's literally the moments you're driving in the car and let's say, you want peace, right, and then you're driving and then someone, someone does something and you, freaking, have the road rage, right, so react it as your old personality.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I know you and I do that all the time.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: But if this is, you know, something like, for example, I'm working on peace, I'm like, okay, fine, you cut me.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, god bless you, right Instead of like, instead of you know the middle finger, I know, instead of oh, I dropped the microphone instead of going into the road rage like this is a simple example, right?
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Or for example, let's say you are identifying, you're changing identity about I am healthy, which is basically showing up and drinking water, exercising, eating whole foods.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: And let's say you know, guess what?
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: You go to the movies and you eat nachos.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: Right, it's not the end of the world.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: It's okay Like go forgive yourself the world.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's okay like go forgive yourself.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: But a lot, of, a lot of us, what we do is we beat ourselves down so much that we um, what is it which?
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Like, um, I don't know what I'm trying to say, but we beat ourselves so much that we um, counter what we are actually working on.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Like it's fine, I get it.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: You ate the nachos, okay, fine, sometimes healthy people eat nachos.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be okay yeah, and I feel that sometimes and correct me if I'm wrong, kira because everybody on the Instagram on the Instagram.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: I just say Instagram.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: We have a new term over here on the internet, on social media, they're portraying these beautiful like oh, the jets and the health and the relationships and the this.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: I know you're rolling your eyes but I feel like I mean.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: But again, I'm not saying they don't have, but I'm saying guess how much work they've done to get there.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: So don't compare your day one to their 100 or 200.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Like you know, like everybody talks about Mr Beast and like dude, he even going on interviews saying he freaking, was posting every single day and no one was watching.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: But guess what?
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: He did not give up.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: He did not give up and he kept going.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: And he kept going even when no one's watching.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Even with us look at us.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Even if no one's listening, guess what?
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: You and I are still showing up and are still recording.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Let's say, whether even we have one listener or one download, we celebrate that because this one download could lead to more and more and more.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: And we're still showing up.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: We didn't say, oh, you know what, I give up, we only had this amount in a year.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: We are doing something wrong.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Kira, we need to stop.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: We didn't, so that's really important.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: To just continue, stay on your freaking path, and it's your path.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: Well, and you guys know Denise is usually the one with the short, actionable tips.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: But I've got a few things for shifting this, because it does sound obscure to change your personality or your identity, and I know that there's a subtle difference.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: That's fine, but I think you've got to recognize how to do that.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: So my first thing is again, figure out what that identity is right.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: If you're working towards optimal health, how would I show up in the world if I am a healthy person?
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: So first thing is awareness.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Like catch what you're telling yourself oh my gosh, I'm always sick.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, I always feel like crap, I hate my body, whatever it is like.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Catch that and then ask yourself questions and I know we've touched on this before but is that true?
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Is that true?
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: You're always going to be sick for the rest of your life?
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Does that serve you?
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: And then start to shift.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: Who can that future self be right?
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: For some of you you might be like I'm already eating healthy and drinking the water, denise, I'm doing all the things, but your mind might not be there because you're always going back to the I'm sick, I feel like shit, I hate my body, whatever it is.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: So you have to look at if I was healthy Even in joking.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I want to mention yes, even joking.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: So how would I show up in the world?
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: How would I talk to myself?
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: How would I talk to others?
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: What would I do with my day?
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: So it doesn't just have to be oh, it's the healthy eating.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: No, think through what that would be.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Who would you need to be and show up as, and keep doing that?
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: And then sometimes there needs to be some integration.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you really need to work on the nervous system.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: If you've been on overdrive, because that is the state of your body and you got to shift it out.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you got to journal.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you got to shift it out.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you got to journal.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you got to walk, like Denise and I always talk about.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you need an accountability buddy, like something.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: But you got to work through these steps to start to shift at that identity and personality level.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: My tip is I love yours and definitely this is the first step.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: And because we always talk and not just us, you know our subconscious level.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: It is a negative bias.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Right, I'm not the only one who said that and our subconscious is 95 of our.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: You know reality, so I the quick, actionable steps.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: You're going to sleep anyway, right?
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: So choose, uh, whether it's subliminal messages or night meditations that are working on those values, and just listen to that yeah like.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're gonna sleep anyway, you're gonna fall asleep anyway, whether you want to put the headphones in your ears or I know kira doesn't like that or you want to, um, just put it on alexa or put it in your room.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: But I understand, because if you're sleeping with a partner or with the kids or something we don't know what your situation is you can definitely have get healthy headphones.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Like kira said, I I use airpods, so I'm not going to pretend that I don't and I know she's shaking her head, but, um, but I really think this, definitely because it's behind the scenes that you're not even thinking about, because you're already sleeping, it's, and a lot of them are free on YouTube, so you do not need a fancy app and then just look up.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: You know, um, whatever, whatever you are working toward, whether it is, you know, more peace, abundance, uh, whatever, whatever, whatever, and I am going to also touch base on so this is, this is a very actionable step that you can do while you're sleeping, that you don't even have to think about it and then it starts.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: But, but don't think it's happening overnight.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: It is going to take time and um, yeah, and you said the awareness, this one, and I wanted to say another one that I totally forgot.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: That's okay.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: One thing I will one of my last things I'll say is you mentioned self-love and I do think that's important.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: So I want to remind you guys, if you're really struggling to shift at the identity level or the personality there is a disconnect there with the self-love go back and listen to episode two, which is all about self-love, and Denise was talking about subliminal.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: I don't have subliminal.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: However, I do have a free self-love hypnosis download so you could totally download that and listen to it twice a day for several weeks as a way to start to reprogram and that will make things easier to shift at the identity level.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah and um and then, but don't, but please don't work on everything at once.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Nope, I remember.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I remember what I wanted to say.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: It's also the emotions, right?
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: So the emotions are, you know, triggering.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: So I also, I know we recorded a lot on emotions.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: So another actionable step is whatever you want to feel like, let's say, peace, abundance, et cetera, et cetera Start practicing these emotions, even if it is once a day, closing your eyes, putting your hand on your heart and taking a few deep breaths, because also, this is free, it doesn't require any apps.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: And then just what?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: If you're working on you know, having joy or peace, no matter what, or whatever the emotions you want to achieve.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: You know, just close your eyes for a little bit, have a few deep breaths and say what does feeling joy feel like, what does feeling peace feel like?
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: And just imagine it through the breaths.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: So what you're doing, also, you are interrupting, um, and you are teaching your body as well what it feels like to be joyful, what it feels like to be peaceful, etc.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Etc.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: And I cannot stress enough I, you know, I've been working on that piece for a long ass time, girl, a long ass time.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: And eventually, once things get rolling.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I will talk about it very openly.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: However, I cannot stress enough.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I've been working on it for so many years and now there is plenty of chaos, plenty of chaos around me, plenty, and you know that and you know that.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: And but deep down, I am so peaceful and I'm so in tune to the um, to the divine, to God, that every time I stop messing with my brain, the analytical what, every time the analytical brain and analytical mind kicks in to convince me otherwise, something happens in my reality, to show me that guess what?
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: You're on the right path, honey, literally, literally.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: And I've wished for that, I wish for that, I would.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I would hear people say that, oh, you know, God is speaking to me or I can feel it.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: I feel it.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: I feel it every single time.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: The analytical mind comes in to convince me Otherwise, which right now I call it the devil, because you know, in each one of us there's a God and there's a devil.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: God kicks in right away in the mysterious ways, but why?
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: I'm aware and my eyes are open.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, I love that.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: But that took years and years of showing up and not giving up.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: But it was not linear, it was up and down, which?
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Is how healing is right and but I definitely want to like share this because you and I like sometimes you and I would say we've been doing the right things.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: We've been doing everything like why this is that happening?
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: give it time it will happen.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: It will happen.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: So it kind of gives me like you know, please, like whenever you're looking at social or listening to people on podcasts, that they tell you so many things, just like us, just know that behind the scenes we did a lot of work, a lot of painful work, yep, so so my guys yeah, oh, my goodness, I mean, yeah, I love talking about this.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't even look at the script, I don't even know what we're going to say, something.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: We never have a script, guys.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: We might have some bullet points on a yeah, but I mean, you guys know the drill.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: We we are found through reviews and I didn't realize that.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: So I just want to reiterate that we would love if this resonates with you.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: We would love a five-star review.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: We would love your words on there with it, and then find us on Instagram.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: I know we're not great about our Instagram page, but leave us a message.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: That's identity.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Look at that, I caught it with identity I wasn't, I wasn't gonna lie, but I'm owning it.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: We're owning it, we're taking accountability, but we're on there and we're active and we read messages.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: So if there's any topic you want us to discuss or bring an expert in, please let us know, and then I know we keep, you know, subtly dropping some hints about something coming.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: It is, it's coming, it's coming.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: It's just life.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're homeschooling your kid.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, this is something new to me.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going through something you know, really also new to me.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: So it will take time, but we are working on it, we're talking about it and we are going to put it out in the world.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: But please, meanwhile, especially with today, download um kira self-love hypnosis.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: It is free um, get it done.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: We also are working on um like a landing page for our podcast, so we can start um, you know, notifying you of good things.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: But yes, please, please, please, if you resonate with this, send it to a friend, leave us a review with your words, because it will, you know, kind of.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: You know, because a lot of like you and I are so real, I feel that more people um can connect with us because we're not coming from the like you know, so mighty.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, guys.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: See you on the next episode.