Latest / ShameOver - The Drink Less Podcast / How to Feel Better in Perimenopause: Protein, Training, Sleep & Alcohol (Pt 2) | Terry Tateossian
Transcript
- Erica+ShameOver: Okay, before I let you go, one quick thing. So if you've been listening and thinking, okay, but what's actually going on with me and my drinking? I built a free quiz exactly for that. It's literally less than two minutes, no email spam, no shame, and you will not get the you have a drinking problem, never drink again. Nonsense, not for me. So you just answer a few questions and you'll get your your actual pattern that you may or may not be aware of. Like, are you a stress drinker, a social drinker? Alright, welcome back to the final part of my conversation with Terry. In part one, we talked about the signs of perimenopause that so many women miss, myself included. This is from anxiety and brain fog to rage, overwhelm, and feeling completely unlike yourself, or what I thought was just normal for having two young children. So today, what we're actually talking about is what will help. If you've been wondering how to feel better, have more energy, I just love this conversation because it reminds us that there is no magic fix. There's not a supplement, not a diet, not a hormone, not a glass of wine. At the end of the day, real change happens when we start paying attention to what our bodies have been trying to tell us all along. So whether it's your sleep, your nutrition, your stress levels, your hormones, your relationship with alcohol, awareness is what creates options. And once you have options, you can start making choices that actually support the life. sleep more soundly and support your body through this season of life, then Terry is sharing the biggest changes that made the difference for her. So we're talking strength training, protein, alcohol, sleep, and why awareness is often the first step towards transformation. Let's jump in. On the edge of being sobriety curious. Whatever it is, you'll know. It's at shameover.me slash quiz. It's super easy to remember. Again, shameover.me slash quiz. Go take it right now, actually. Like, pause this, go do it, come back. I'll wait. Okay, okay. That's it for today. See you next time. And the health that you want. huge thank you to Terry for joining me and sharing her story and her expertise. And this episode resonated with you, please, please, please ⁓ share with a friend, leave a review, make sure you're following the podcast so you never miss an episode. ⁓ And next time, cheers. Erica And ShameOver: So I know that as we're going through this process, you know, once you find out that yeah, you are a paramenopause or, you know, anything along those lines, you can jump into HRT, there's other things. What are some of the things that you really focus on that help people? So now I know this is where I'm at, what's next? Or I've been in this for a while, I still feel like shit all day, every day. ⁓ What can I start I know you've mentioned a few things, but let's really dive in. Terry Tateossian: Yeah, so a hundred percent start lifting weights. There's no better there's no HRT that's gonna give you the effects that strength training is gonna give you. ⁓ don't really give a rat's poop if you've never done it before. ⁓ had never done it before and I started, I didn't even know what a dumbbell was, okay? ⁓ if ⁓ can do it, anybody can do it. I mean, talk about a complete beginner. I did not know what matter. ⁓ Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. Terry Tateossian: Crows were I thought that was an Excel spreadsheet kind of thing when I started. Okay. I didn't know anything and I learned because it mattered. It was important. It was the way out. Right. And so I hear a lot of excuses and a lot of reasons. I don't have time. It's too hard. I'm gonna hurt myself. I don't know what to do. But you you can figure it out, okay? for help. I had to ask for help. I hired a coach. Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. Yeah. Terry Tateossian: They helped me. I'm learned and now it's second nature. Right. So it's really it's a non-negotiable. If you're in midlife and you're not doing strength training, you're doing yourself a great disservice. That's number one. That's the science is out there, the evidence is there, the all the data is out there. Okay. Erica And ShameOver: Well, and that not only helps get through some of these symptoms and regulate your body a little bit, but it is so much more long term as far as like osteoporosis and how you're going to age. But on the note that you were saying, get help, ask for help. Even the most affordable gyms still have trainers or people there that can help make sure you have the correct form. so that you don't get injured because the worst thing you can do is go in, go way too hard, having no clue what you're doing, getting yourself hurt and then never wanting to touch it again. So I mean, even it's funny, my my grandma who is, believe, approaching ninety, she had a fall a year or two ago that I mean, this should have put her out. Like she had to ⁓ across her house to get her phone that was up on the like counter whatever because she had fallen, broke her hip and her shoulder or something crazy. But sh I found this out as she was going through her rehab. She has like two pound weights that she does every day. Like and you know she's she I I would never know that. But that is what allowed her to do that because she had been keeping up with just basic little mechanics and strength training, even with these tiny little weights. So to your point, Anyone can do it and it doesn't have to be you need to go out and buy 20 and 50 pound weights. Like the small weights that you can even get on Amazon or at Target, Walmart, anything, those are great to have just at home to get started. Terry Tateossian: Yes, exactly. You know, and you st and you s build upon that, right? So over time you you build on that. hopefully it's something that, you know, sticks with you for for life. ⁓ thing is nutrition, right? So get your nutrition in order. No matter how much HRT you take, no matter how much other ⁓ you take, if your nutrition is not on point, you cannot out. Train your mouth. You can add out train any of that, right? So the food matters. How much protein, how many carbs, how much fat you eat per day, and what their proportion is matters, right? So the the goal when it comes to longevity and and feeling good and having enough fuel, because that's what food is, having enough fuel in your body, to sustain your perimenopausal phase. ⁓ Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. Terry Tateossian: Is important, right? So having the right nutrition and the right wrong ingredients where your body can make testosterone out of that, right? It can function properly. you want to have it dialed in. You really do. It's it's a disservice again to yourself to not have or not invest in nutritional literacy. And again, there's lots of coaches out there. I'm a coach myself now ⁓ it changed my life. It was, it was just a Herculean. effect it had a Herculean effect on my life and how much better it my life became once I had those two things order. Then substances okay right much alcohol are you drinking? ⁓ There are I'm not gonna ⁓ be very that I see that claim the wellness hat and the ⁓ you know, enlightenment path and, you know, I'm not gonna get into that, that are drinking one or two bottles of wine, boxed whatever they sell at the grocery store every night. And they don't understand that that is a toxic poison, literally, that they are consuming on a daily basis. ⁓ And they they get up the next day and they wonder, why do I feel like shit? Why ⁓ I feel like shit. Yeah. mean, it's obvious, right? But we're in denial. So when I was eighty pounds overweight, binging and drinking alcohol, I was in denial, right? It took somebody being super direct with me and telling me, Hello, this is what this is your problem right here. So if you're doing that, just think about it. Be curious. Why why do you need that? And what is the reason behind it? And What's the underlying cause that's making you feel that you need to drink so much alcohol? Right. So that's the third thing. And then once you've cleaned up the house, can help you. Right? HRT is not a band aid for a shitty lifestyle, in ⁓ my Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. Exactly. And it's takes a throttle approach as opposed to just one magic thing that's gonna cure everything. Absolutely. So ⁓ Terry Tateossian: You can be you can be taking HR T and still feel like shit. Erica And ShameOver: Yeah, absolutely. So diving into the nutrition part, because I know you're really, really educated on this. I know myself personally, I tried so hard to get into macros. I could not figure it out. So I just said screw it. And you know, obviously I figured out since what has worked for me, but I know that since I tried it and between now and then, a ⁓ a lot of coaches have made it a lot easier for people to understand it. So as far as like just getting started, what would you recommend so that discovering your macros and figuring out what what's a good day for you, what that looks like isn't so overwhelming and time consuming and all of that. Terry Tateossian: Yeah, I just funny because I had the same very similar conversation with my daughter, who's nineteen, yesterday. And was she was look, she was sitting next to me ⁓ and goes, Mom, I don't understand why people think it's so hard to get 150 grams of protein a day. It's so easy, she says to me. I'm like, well, it's easy because you've watching me do it for 10 years and now she does it, right? So she wants to make sure she's got her muscles you know, developing. She goes to the gym every day and all these things. I'm like, 'cause you've been doing it for long enough time. ⁓ the what I recommend for most people when they're first starting out is the first step is ⁓ get lay of the land first. Okay. ⁓ Because you are used to eating Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. Totally, yeah. Terry Tateossian: 50 grams of protein per day, and you've been living that way for years, coach coming in and telling you you need to eat your body weight in protein programs, that's gonna be ⁓ far off your baseline that it's gonna be impossible. Right. So it's not gonna that's not gonna work out too well. You're gonna give up because it's gonna feel undoable, unmanageable, unachievable. Right. And so find out where you're at first. Where what is the baseline? Are we eating a hundred grams of protein, a hundred grams of carbs, and a hundred grams of fat every day? Right? That's not a balanced macro right now. or are we at fifty, three hundred, and three hundred, right? 'Cause I've seen that. Or we at 200 grams of protein and no carbs and no fat, right? So which is keto or k keto has more fat. But where where are we at? Right. So be really honest. Alcohol counts, right? As a macro. It has seven calories per gram. as much as fat. so count your ⁓ count all the alcohol. Count your creamers, your milks and your coffees, your lattes, your Starbucks, your lip licks and bites, and ⁓ you all those things count at the end of the day. And figure out how many calories per day are you at on average, right? So if you track for 14 days, one day you ate, I've seen this also, so that's why I mentioned it. Some days 700 calories, next day, 4000 calories, next day, five calories, ⁓ day 1400 calories, right? So where there's no consistency in the caloric intake. Right. So that's why we track seven to fourteen days to get the lay of the land. Get the terrain first. Know what the heck you're working with and divide that by however many days you track. So if you track 14 days, add up all the calories, calorie total divided by 14. That's your average caloric intake per day. Right. So that's where you're taking in every two weeks, for example. see if you could figure out in general. what your average protein intake is per day, right? So if you're averaging about 60 grams of protein per day, s somebody telling you to eat 160 grams of protein per day is not gonna happen. And so from there, start escalating just a little bit. Add 10% more every week and now try to eat 60 grams or, you know, 55, 60, 70, slowly and progressively start adding more protein and cutting other things around Figuring out your alcohol total calories or alcohol. I mean, it it sounds complicated, but it's really not when you focus on it step by step by step so that you can incrementally get to where you need to go. See, the way that I would look at it is if I went to the gym I've lifted weights before and somebody says, Go over there and do a two hundred pound deadlift, it's not happening. Erica And ShameOver: Huh? Yeah, exactly. That's more than my body weight and what's a deadlift? Terry Tateossian: And it's the same thing with your nutrition, right? So you have to start where you're at. You can't aim for something unachievable because you're just not gonna do it. It's not gonna happen. Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. And I'm so I love that approach because I know that that's not always the approach with coaches as far as especially diets. It's like this is what you have to do, we're gonna jump right in. I found based on my work that approach doesn't work very often for some, sure, but for the majority of us, we need that slow approach. I mean, I do the same thing when anyone starts working with me as far as I need to know what your baseline is and you most of all need to know what your baseline is. Like our how many days a week are we drinking? How many drinks we having per day or per week so that you know realistically where you're even starting out because you can't make the adjustments if you're not honest with yourself about the starting point. And I think that can be the hardest thing with diet, with alcohol, with anything, because we have so much shame tied to it because, you know, in our minds we should know better than this, but I don't want to face the facts. So I'm just going to push it to the side. Terry Tateossian: Mm-hmm. Yeah, denial. I mean, I was in denial my gosh, forty years. I was I was sleeping beauty till I was forty. ⁓ mean, talk about I should be ashamed of that, right? ⁓ so like I I I get a lot of people thinking, ⁓ it's so taboo to talk about the things I talk about. ⁓ But is actually shining a light on the shame. Yes. Erica And ShameOver: Ha ha ha. That's why we need you talking about it because people feel it's taboo. It's not. This is what we're all dealing with. We just don't talk about it. So it feels so either shameful or, like you said, denial for sure. Terry Tateossian: Yeah, because I mean you're raised to kind of put up this glass, know, castle image. ⁓ know, I have to be perfect and everything, or nobody's gonna like me. Or, know, I can't show all parts of myself ⁓ out people because ⁓ no gonna take me seriously, or ⁓ you putting on this mask, you know, for so many years in the corporate world. Like, I'm a professional woman. I I don't have a personality. Like, fuck that. Like, you know, embraced it all. Okay. yeah, I'm gonna openly talk about alcohol. I was a it's a really ⁓ part of my life. It me very early on, almost at birth. It a it affected my my mother. affected my biological father. There's a lot of heartache ⁓ and a lot pain that came from Erica And ShameOver: Yep. Terry Tateossian: alcohol. know, my mother divorced my father because of his alcoholism and I ⁓ not see him ever again after the age of three. I've inherited the alcohol gene. I've passed, I'm sure, the alcohol gene over to my kids. And so there's a lot of shame around alcohol and a lot of fear. And so I talk about it openly. I share it. You know, it there's nothing I can do about that. Right. That's a part of who I am. And something I have to keep in mind at all times that it is genetic. I do have it. I definitely have the alcoholic gene, but that does not mean I have to fall victim to the behavior that leads to the outcome that ⁓ I know can happen. It can happen to the smartest, most intelligent, most successful right? Erica And ShameOver: Exactly. Yeah, absolutely. Terry Tateossian: ⁓ and the more shame we put around it, the ⁓ becomes. Right. So when you're ashamed of what you're eating ⁓ you're hiding it, you're just making that monster ⁓ You're i the less you acknowledge it, this the will I you know, every day ⁓ wake up and I wave to all my boogie monsters, Hi, good morning. How's everybody doing? Erica And ShameOver: Yes. Exactly. Terry Tateossian: know, how you how's it going? And keeps Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. But that's just it. Acknowledging them makes them so much smaller. Like, you know, they're just trying being big and scary because they're trying to get your attention. They're trying to bring something to light that you're refusing to acknowledge. So when you do acknowledge it, they're like, Okay, cool. I don't need to remind you about this. Yeah. Terry Tateossian: That's right. They they get happier. When you acknowledge them, all the boogie monsters are happy. They feel fulfilled. They're not acting out. They're they don't need to show you that they exist because you already know they're there. ⁓ Erica And ShameOver: Yeah, exactly. So what are some because for years been focused on protein, protein, protein. ⁓ I know especially for women, as not only we're in this stage, but as we're getting older, ⁓ is kind of the biggest thing, protein and probably fiber. but really focusing ⁓ on I put something in my mouth, does it have protein in it? ⁓ So are some like quick wins, if you will, for easy ways to start getting more protein into your diet without it feeling like you said, like this overwhelming, unrealistic, I can't do that. Terry Tateossian: Yeah, so I I'm a big advocate of l as little synthetic food as possible. So but in the beginning, sometimes you need that. And so you can always supplement and you know, boost the protein content of yogurt, for example. As yogurt is so easy to eat, right? It's smooth, it tastes like you can even make ice cream out of that. it's it just goes down easy, right? So if you're not a like really into eating a lot of animal protein. Yogurt is very easy. And I'll tell you guys another funny story. So when I started doing this, I had a really hard time getting all my protein in just like everybody does in the beginning. ⁓ had a crazy sweet tooth, right? So I was cutting, I I went cold turkey on all the alcohol, ⁓ didn't drink anything. So the sugar cravings were crazy. ⁓ so three of five of my meals were desserts. Erica And ShameOver: huge. Terry Tateossian: I ate five little meals every day. And they were they, you know, they added up to all my calories and my total protein goals and all that. It was all very intentional. And I make three of them were desserts. So you can get your protein in that way. Okay. So you can have a yogurt parfait, ⁓ right? So yogurt ⁓ with a bit of ⁓ boosted protein powder or PB2 peanut butter powder. It has protein. there you go, you're done. That's like 28 grams of protein right there. ⁓ up, you can make protein brownies. Okay, ⁓ can put the brownies on some cottage cheese, and there you go. That's your another one. 20 25 grams of protein right there. And one that's really easy is the creamy ninja ice creams. So ⁓ if you never heard of it, just Google ninja creamy and ⁓ cream machine. And that is again, it tastes like ice cream. You could have you could have your protein and ice cream too. Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. Totally. I know my my are right now gluten and dairy free. So getting enough protein in them since we don't have the ability to use the ⁓ yogurt they used to love and things like that. One thing that ⁓ I realize had so much protein in it, but has been so helpful for is edamame. Terry Tateossian: Yeah, mm-hmm. Erica And ShameOver: Like Edmame has been huge. So getting that in because you know, you can only eat so much meat at the end of the day. So finding other options that there are for that big protein boost. Terry Tateossian: Mm-hmm. Idamame, cauliflower, broccoli, very, very good for your hormones as well. chickpeas, any kind of beans, lentils, tofu is vegetarian, ⁓ very easy to get the protein in. falafel another ⁓ great it's gluten free, I believe. And ⁓ Erica And ShameOver: Okay. ⁓ Yes. Terry Tateossian: Yeah, I mean there's just so much out there, so many options that they they have a lot of dairy dairy free yogurts now as well. so it's still has the same consistency, you know, like cashew yogurt. They have all kinds of yogurts now that you could just add a little boosted protein powder into that and you know, get the protein up. Erica And ShameOver: Thank God. Terry Tateossian: But ⁓ nutritional yeast is another one that it has a lot of protein in it. You can sprinkle that on anything and it may gives you like a little crunchy kind of feeling, very high protein content. so many options out there. I mean it's it's almost limitless now. ⁓ Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I know that I'd say the three biggest things to do that you've touched on has been obviously the weightlifting and just, you know, working on your physical side of things, the nutrition part of it, and then we all know sleep. so let's dive into sleep real fast because I know that especially as you had mentioned, that's one of the main things that a lot of women see that, ⁓ I'm in perimenopause or even, you know, in menopause ⁓ my sleep sucks. I either can't fall asleep ⁓ I wake up and cut can't fall back asleep. I don't wake up feeling refreshed or well rested. ⁓ what are some of your ideas or thoughts around sleep and sleep hygiene? Terry Tateossian: there's ton of products out there that are for sleep, but I'll I'll tell you two of my favorites. ⁓ So Totally ⁓ of that. ⁓ are ⁓ CBN and strains that can help you fall and stay asleep. another one ⁓ is ⁓ ⁓ and Mushroom combinations drinks. So mushroom specifically made you know made for sleep. So they have hot chocolate options out there you can purchase from the all kinds of different companies that also may include CBD and magnesium. And so there's different options for magnesium. Also try different ones, see which one is gonna work for you. ⁓ But sleep on your sleep, okay? That's very important. Erica And ShameOver: Yeah, it's Terry Tateossian: It's almost number one a as far as feeling better. Erica And ShameOver: Yes, if you don't get good quality sleep, you're no matter how well you're eating, how much you're working out, you're not gonna get the benefits fully from either of those if your sleep sucks. ⁓ I know you brought this up previously, but I tell you how many people tell me like ⁓ they to sleep. I'm like, but you're not sleeping. Like if you need drink to fall asleep. It is not going, it's not helping your sleep. You're actually not able to reach the REM sleep that you need. And so you're not getting what your body actually needs to repair and to feel better the next day. But it's this vicious cycle that I don't sleep unless I have a drink or have something to drink. It's not normally one drink, as we know. Magnesium has been huge for me. And like you said, you need to find which magnesium works for you 'cause they're not all the same and we're gonna feel things differently. but I guess anything else there as far as sleep really stands out, especially if is concerned. ⁓ Terry Tateossian: Mm-hmm. absolutely. I mean, there I I can't remember the exact because I'm not an expert in the system, which is the brain's lymphatic system. ⁓ But done studies and don't quote me, you guys can research this and Google it and you'll find the information. But they say that ⁓ if you consume alcohol, you're actually ⁓ get less REM sleep, which is required Required so for for the glymphatic, let me see if I get this right. For the glymphatic system to fully flush out the brain's byproduct of functioning from the day before, it needs, I believe, two hours of REM sleep. they've done studies on the brain where when you're people that have had alcohol, they get maybe thirty percent of that time. And so they're yeah, and so ⁓ their system only gets half. Erica And ShameOver: Yeah, if that Terry Tateossian: Flushed out. And so the byproduct starts to accumulate over time. So now imagine if you're drinking alcohol every single night to fall asleep, it knocks you out, but your brain does not actually get into REM, which is when the lymphatic system flushes out byproducts. So now you're accumulating garbage, literally, byproduct of your brain in there. And think about it as a house. So if you Erica And ShameOver: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Terry Tateossian: You know, don't clean your house or only clean your house thirty percent. And then, you know, you keep adding more garbage in there, what's gonna happen? Right? There's gonna be no room for you're not gonna function properly. You're not gonna be able to get from room to room. You're not gonna remember things. You're ⁓ you're not gonna know where things are. Like where was that thing? Who knows? There's a lot of garbage everywhere. That's what's going on in your brain, okay? And over time, ⁓ correlating, Alzheimer's to getting good quality sleep. So that's what you're playing with. Everybody that's listening. That's the roulette. Erica And ShameOver: Exactly. Yes. I'm so glad you brought that up. ⁓ there are there's at least one or two fantastic Huberman podcast episodes that taught me so much on this whole thing. So ⁓ if you've not listened, highly recommend checking that out or going back to it if you have already listened because it's just invaluable information right there. So all right. Terry Tateossian: Mm-hmm. Erica And ShameOver: Well, thank you so much for your time. Is there anything that we did not get a touch on that you want to share? otherwise, obviously how can people find you and connect with you and learn more? Terry Tateossian: Yeah, so you can find me on thehouseofrose dot com or on my Instagram, how good can it get. thank you, Erica, for having me on. It was a pleasure. I had a great time. It was such a good conversation. Erica And ShameOver: amazing. Thank you. I'll make sure to put those in the show notes. ⁓ so if you obviously need to access it, go ahead and go there. ⁓ but thank you guys for being here. Thank you so much, Terry, for being here. ⁓ can't wait to hopefully chat more down the down the line. Terry Tateossian: Absolutely. I'm looking forward to it. Thank you for everything that you do. Erica And ShameOver: you too, thank you.