Latest / She's On The Money / MONEY DIARIES: Military Mum On Balancing Family, Work, & Money

Transcript

MONEY DIARIES: Military Mum On Balancing Family, Work, & Money · She's On The Money

0:00
Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud your
0:04
Speaker 1: the Order KERNI Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
0:08
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
0:11
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
0:14
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
0:18
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
0:22
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
0:27
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
0:30
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
0:33
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
0:34
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
0:57
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money. The podcas
1:00
Speaker 4: past millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
1:04
Speaker 4: shot back money Diary Monday, where we get to chat
1:06
Speaker 4: to one of our beautiful community members to learn all
1:08
Speaker 4: about them, their money, and all of the juicy details
1:11
Speaker 4: in between. Today Victoria Hello, Hello, Let's jump straight in
1:16
Speaker 4: our diarist says I had a family young and unplanned
1:20
Speaker 4: and have a lot of guilt built into my money story,
1:22
Speaker 4: which I am working through. My partner and I are
1:24
Speaker 4: now both thirty with two young children. And I made
1:27
Speaker 4: the decision to sacrifice my military nursing career for my family.
1:30
Speaker 4: Oh wow, I'm trying to find balance between rebuilding a
1:33
Speaker 4: career family and savings for the first home while supporting
1:37
Speaker 4: my military spouse, which means no family support and long
1:40
Speaker 4: periods of time solo parenting.
1:42
Speaker 2: I love that I'm excited to learn more.
1:45
Speaker 5: I hate that she's got guilt though, Money Dorist, welcome
1:47
Speaker 5: to the show.
1:48
Speaker 6: Hello, thank you. I'm so excited.
1:50
Speaker 5: Oh you're excited, and you're excited. I can't wait to
1:53
Speaker 5: get into it. So how about we just kick it
1:55
Speaker 5: right off? Sounds good, all right, money Doris. Let's start
1:58
Speaker 5: the way that we always do. Can you tell us
2:00
Speaker 5: a little bit about your money story?
2:03
Speaker 3: Sure?
2:03
Speaker 6: Okay. So growing up I had a very good life.
2:06
Speaker 6: I guess we didn't live extravagantly, but I never really
2:09
Speaker 6: went without so private school, overseas, holidays, I did every
2:13
Speaker 6: sport that I ever wanted, and I was always very
2:16
Speaker 6: supported by my family. Everything changed a little bit when
2:20
Speaker 6: I left home. So I left home at seventeen and
2:25
Speaker 6: went and started studying full time. My family moved overseas,
2:29
Speaker 6: so I was on my own, living out of home.
2:31
Speaker 6: The first time, and I really started to struggle to
2:34
Speaker 6: balance that full time study with supporting myself. I guess
2:38
Speaker 6: with Nursey, if you know much about a nursing degree,
2:41
Speaker 6: you have long periods of like weeks at a time
2:44
Speaker 6: where you do full time unpaid placements. So that was
2:47
Speaker 6: really difficult to try and work and get money on
2:50
Speaker 6: top of all that unpaid work and study. So I
2:53
Speaker 6: never really had enough. I would say I lived paycheck
2:56
Speaker 6: to almost paycheck and just sort of would struggle through
2:59
Speaker 6: the second half of the week or the second week
3:02
Speaker 6: of my sort of pay cycle. All my friends, I felt,
3:06
Speaker 6: were in different circumstances to me, So I guess at
3:08
Speaker 6: that young age, a lot of people were still living
3:10
Speaker 6: at home with their families and had a lot more
3:13
Speaker 6: I guess financial support. However, at the time you don't
3:16
Speaker 6: really know that. So I was always trying to live
3:19
Speaker 6: in the same way that I think they were, But
3:21
Speaker 6: I just had a lot more expenses, I guess, and
3:23
Speaker 6: I developed a lot of anxiety around my money through
3:26
Speaker 6: those years. I leaned into more of a head in
3:30
Speaker 6: the sand approach, so like, my bills would come and
3:34
Speaker 6: I just knew I didn't have the money, so I
3:35
Speaker 6: would just ignore them, which doesn't work.
3:39
Speaker 2: Spoiler alert.
3:41
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't recommend that approach.
3:43
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
3:44
Speaker 6: Yeah, in those days of putting like five dollars in
3:47
Speaker 6: your car, I remember paying once and the guy at
3:50
Speaker 6: the counter said it's like, oh, you can get these
3:52
Speaker 6: two chocolate bars for three dollars, And I was like,
3:55
Speaker 6: you've just seen me put five dollars petrol in my car.
3:59
Speaker 2: The chocolate bars read the room, guy read the room.
4:02
Speaker 6: Yeah, totally. So yeah. I always also felt like I
4:06
Speaker 6: was receiving a lot of judgment from the people in
4:09
Speaker 6: my life at the time. It may not have been
4:11
Speaker 6: the case. Maybe it's just how I felt. I always
4:13
Speaker 6: felt that I was getting judged that I couldn't manage
4:17
Speaker 6: my own money, that I didn't have the ability to
4:21
Speaker 6: manage my money, and I think I sort of carried
4:23
Speaker 6: that through to adulthood quite a lot. I still now.
4:28
Speaker 6: I've sort of tried to come full circle, but I
4:30
Speaker 6: still can't, Like, every time I pay my groceries, I
4:33
Speaker 6: can't not check my bank account, even though I know
4:35
Speaker 6: it's okay and there's money there. You just have that
4:38
Speaker 6: anxiety anytime you have to pay for something. Still, it's a.
4:41
Speaker 5: Good habit to be in, to always be on top
4:44
Speaker 5: of what you're spending.
4:45
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, I guess like, in hindsight, I'm proud that
4:49
Speaker 6: I never get stuck in sort of the cycles of
4:51
Speaker 6: credit card or personal debt or anything, which was definitely
4:54
Speaker 6: something that I considered at the time. I considered dropping
4:57
Speaker 6: out of my study completely or cutting back my subjects,
5:00
Speaker 6: but I never did. I just wanted to push through.
5:04
Speaker 6: I was like, this is just a moment of your life.
5:06
Speaker 6: If you can just get through it, everything will get easier.
5:09
Speaker 6: At the end of my degree, my family moved back
5:11
Speaker 6: from overseas, so I was able to move back home
5:14
Speaker 6: and sort of breathe a little bit more.
5:16
Speaker 5: Good timing family, not you could have done that much
5:18
Speaker 5: earlier to make things easier, But I mean, that's a
5:21
Speaker 5: life lesson, isn't it.
5:22
Speaker 6: Look I could have gone with them, but I think
5:24
Speaker 6: when you're sort of seventeen eighteen, you think you're an
5:27
Speaker 6: adult and you can do it all on your own.
5:30
Speaker 6: In hindsight, I was just so young when I met
5:33
Speaker 6: my partner. Neither of us had not you in the
5:35
Speaker 6: way of savings, and I don't think we felt like
5:38
Speaker 6: we really needed to because we both had decent incomes
5:41
Speaker 6: and no real responsibilities, if that makes sense, so we
5:44
Speaker 6: could get by pretty comfortably. Everything changed a lot and
5:48
Speaker 6: we started to sort of get our shit together when
5:50
Speaker 6: we found out we were pregnant with the first of
5:52
Speaker 6: our two kids. So we've gotten a lot better with
5:56
Speaker 6: goal setting and savings and things since them.
5:58
Speaker 5: That's so sweet, though, all right, I want to know
6:01
Speaker 5: next question is what do you currently do for work
6:03
Speaker 5: and how much do you earn?
6:05
Speaker 6: So I am a registered nurse. I currently have a
6:08
Speaker 6: couple of jobs because I've found it quite hard to
6:12
Speaker 6: balance motherhood and obviously a lot of normal nursing jobs
6:16
Speaker 6: involve shift work, which my partner, as you mentioned at
6:20
Speaker 6: the start, is in the military, so we don't have
6:22
Speaker 6: the option to live near family support, so I'm sort
6:26
Speaker 6: of limited to working within daycare hours, and he can
6:29
Speaker 6: go away quite a bit as well, so I don't
6:31
Speaker 6: always even have him at home to help with that
6:33
Speaker 6: shift work. So when we met, we were both full
6:37
Speaker 6: time in defense and I was a nurse in the military,
6:41
Speaker 6: and that's when we started our family, and we sort
6:43
Speaker 6: of had to make the decision to prioritize one person's
6:46
Speaker 6: career as a nurse. I had a lot more options
6:49
Speaker 6: outside of defense than he did, so we made that decision.
6:52
Speaker 6: So at the moment, I work as a reservist in
6:55
Speaker 6: the military still, so I work from home two days
6:57
Speaker 6: a week doing that, which I absolutely love. I also
7:00
Speaker 6: teach baby and child first aid courses to parents.
7:04
Speaker 2: Oh cool.
7:05
Speaker 6: Yeah, I work casually as a registered nurse in my
7:08
Speaker 6: local hospital, sort of when my partner's home a bit more.
7:11
Speaker 2: Ah, I love that.
7:12
Speaker 5: I feel like that's quite eclectic, but all makes sense
7:15
Speaker 5: given the role that you've got. Like, I feel like
7:17
Speaker 5: you've cutcast all the things that make sense to you
7:20
Speaker 5: and your lifestyle. And I love that you've done that,
7:22
Speaker 5: because so many people would be like, ah, too hard,
7:24
Speaker 5: I just won't do it, or I'll just do something else.
7:26
Speaker 2: Like I love this so much.
7:28
Speaker 6: Yeah, it sounds chaotic, but it's the calmest I've sort
7:31
Speaker 6: of felt in the balance, if that makes sense. So
7:34
Speaker 6: if he goes away, for instance, and I don't have
7:36
Speaker 6: the support, I can just do less. But we also
7:39
Speaker 6: have the option of getting like one of our moms
7:41
Speaker 6: can fly down for a week or two weeks. I
7:43
Speaker 6: can smash out a lot more work and then take
7:46
Speaker 6: a couple of weeks off, so the flexibility works.
7:48
Speaker 5: Well, all right, I want to be pervy though your partner,
7:51
Speaker 5: you said, goes away for work, I want to know
7:53
Speaker 5: how much they earn and where they work to be
7:56
Speaker 5: away for so long.
7:57
Speaker 6: So could be anywhere He's in come sits at around
8:03
Speaker 6: one hundred and fifty k a year at the moment.
8:06
Speaker 2: Very nice, worth the travel, then.
8:08
Speaker 6: Where the travel? Obviously, when if he is away, we
8:11
Speaker 6: have the potential to earn a lot more than that.
8:13
Speaker 6: So I think the way that it works out eightyf
8:17
Speaker 6: When we deploy overseas, it depends on where you're going,
8:19
Speaker 6: how long you're going. But the money you earn when
8:22
Speaker 6: you're deployed is tax free, so obviously that's where we
8:25
Speaker 6: can earn a lot more when he is away. In
8:27
Speaker 6: addition to that, so my income as a reservist, it's
8:30
Speaker 6: also tax free. So it's a bit hard to calculate
8:33
Speaker 6: my annual salary because I don't pay tax on a
8:37
Speaker 6: large portion.
8:38
Speaker 2: Of one a lot of it.
8:39
Speaker 6: Yeah, So week to week, like an average I guess week,
8:43
Speaker 6: I think I earn about one thousand dollars a week
8:49
Speaker 6: after tax, but I have the option to add more
8:52
Speaker 6: ships on top of that, if I've got the.
8:54
Speaker 5: Help, yeah, of course, And how much cash comes in
8:57
Speaker 5: from your partner each week.
8:59
Speaker 6: So he's only recently got quite a significant pay increase,
9:03
Speaker 6: so we're learning the hard way the tax that comes
9:06
Speaker 6: with that.
9:07
Speaker 2: Ah, yes, yeah, So we.
9:09
Speaker 6: Also have so in the ADF. So we live in
9:12
Speaker 6: a defense house, so our housing gets taken out before
9:15
Speaker 6: we get paid, so the housing comes out first. And
9:18
Speaker 6: we've also got a salary sacrifice car so that comes
9:21
Speaker 6: out as well, and we get about I think fortnightly.
9:27
Speaker 6: It's about three and a half to four k ish
9:31
Speaker 6: after those deductions are taken out, and that's after his
9:33
Speaker 6: super as well, and he contributes extra into that too.
9:36
Speaker 2: Epic.
9:36
Speaker 5: So at about twelve grand a month post tax, not bad,
9:40
Speaker 5: not too shabby.
9:41
Speaker 2: Gives you a lot of opportunity.
9:44
Speaker 6: Absolutely, yes.
9:45
Speaker 5: I love adding it up and being like, oh, so
9:47
Speaker 5: this is what it is per month and you're like,
9:49
Speaker 5: I don't know where that money's gone. I don't know
9:51
Speaker 5: how that works, which leads into our next question. I
9:54
Speaker 5: do apologize for slamming you with that and then asking
9:57
Speaker 5: I wouldn't know what are your big money goals. I
10:00
Speaker 5: feel like people in your situations often have this massive
10:03
Speaker 5: cash flow, but the thing that's not taken into consideration
10:06
Speaker 5: is the amount of childcare that's needed and the amount
10:08
Speaker 5: of money that actually flows into different areas to support
10:11
Speaker 5: your life. I think so many people are like, oh
10:13
Speaker 5: my gosh, if you work in defense, you actually end
10:16
Speaker 5: up in a circumstance where you get you know.
10:18
Speaker 2: Free housing and this and that.
10:19
Speaker 5: It's just not the case, like cash no flitters away
10:22
Speaker 5: so easily. But I want to know, what are your
10:24
Speaker 5: big money goals? What are we working towards.
10:26
Speaker 6: Yeah, totally so our number one big money goal at
10:29
Speaker 6: the moment is we would love to buy a house.
10:31
Speaker 6: It's a little bit complicated because, like you just mentioned,
10:34
Speaker 6: I guess a lot of people look at defense and
10:36
Speaker 6: there's a misconception that we don't pay tax. Firstly, which
10:40
Speaker 6: we absolutely do. As a reservist, it's a bit different,
10:43
Speaker 6: and when you're deployed it's a bit different because they're
10:45
Speaker 6: not in Australia. But day to day, like Guarantee, we
10:48
Speaker 6: do pay tax. We do pay for housing, although we
10:50
Speaker 6: get a pretty good deal. But the thing is we
10:52
Speaker 6: don't get any say in where we live or how
10:55
Speaker 6: long we're potentially in that location for so we would
10:59
Speaker 6: love to buy a home to living with our family,
11:01
Speaker 6: but unfortunately the area that we live at the moment
11:03
Speaker 6: that without giving away our exact location, that I think that, oh,
11:07
Speaker 6: you don't have to tell us that it changes a
11:09
Speaker 6: lot totally. The house price is about I think it's
11:12
Speaker 6: one point four million dollars in the area that we
11:14
Speaker 6: live at the moment, so is not an option for us.
11:19
Speaker 6: So we're looking at investments perhaps, But then obviously we
11:24
Speaker 6: would then miss out on first homeowners grants and things
11:27
Speaker 6: like that, and all in the defense subsidies as well.
11:30
Speaker 6: So there's some subsidies to get into the housing market
11:33
Speaker 6: for defense people that we would also miss out on
11:35
Speaker 6: if we buy an investment property. So it's sort of
11:38
Speaker 6: like a rock and a hard place.
11:39
Speaker 2: You need to talk to a financial advisor, my friend.
11:42
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm biased, but a lot of my defense
11:45
Speaker 5: clients historically have always rent, invested, and purchased. Even though
11:49
Speaker 5: you might not get the subsidies for first home buyer
11:52
Speaker 5: because you can't move straight into it, because that's a
11:54
Speaker 5: little bit tricky, there are a lot of other subsidies
11:57
Speaker 5: that might be available to you. So it'd either talk
11:59
Speaker 5: to a mortgage brow or I would have a chat
12:01
Speaker 5: with a financial advisor, because I feel like so many
12:03
Speaker 5: times you're trying to work it out yourself, and an
12:06
Speaker 5: advisor or a broker might be like, all right, money
12:08
Speaker 5: diros and the ease your options you go.
12:10
Speaker 2: I wish someone had made it this clear five years ago.
12:12
Speaker 6: No, you're You're absolutely right, we do. We do have
12:15
Speaker 6: to and like you said, the revesting. So we live
12:17
Speaker 6: in like a beautiful suburb at the moment, we're in
12:20
Speaker 6: the catchment for some amazing schools, and we couldn't afford
12:23
Speaker 6: to buy here. So when we started looking at areas
12:25
Speaker 6: we could buy sort of close ish by, we were
12:29
Speaker 6: then comparing the schools and our lifestyle and you know,
12:32
Speaker 6: any friends that we have to help out with the kids,
12:35
Speaker 6: we would lose all of that. So yeah, it's weighing
12:37
Speaker 6: all of that up.
12:38
Speaker 2: It sounds like such a hard place to be in.
12:41
Speaker 5: And I'm saying that, I guess because I'm overlaying my
12:44
Speaker 5: own personal experience because I'm such a homebody like Jess
12:48
Speaker 5: and I have just been traveling for work a little
12:50
Speaker 5: bit recently, and we've just gotten home and I'm like,
12:52
Speaker 5: oh my gosh, I'm so grateful to be home. I'm
12:54
Speaker 5: grateful to be surrounded by you know, my family and
12:57
Speaker 5: my friends. Again, how you know, obviously this is not
13:00
Speaker 5: a question that I should be asking now based on
13:02
Speaker 5: how Jess is looking at me, But how do you
13:04
Speaker 5: deal with moving around? Because it's obviously not up to
13:08
Speaker 5: you when you move and how you.
13:09
Speaker 6: Do that, to be honest, So my dad was actually
13:12
Speaker 6: in the military as well, and so was my partner's dad,
13:14
Speaker 6: So for us, it's very normal. I think, like I
13:18
Speaker 6: honestly couldn't tell you how many houses or states or
13:22
Speaker 6: cities I've lived in I've moved. I think the longest
13:25
Speaker 6: as an adult, the longest I think we've spent in
13:28
Speaker 6: one place, like one house, is two years. I think
13:33
Speaker 6: the longest in my life is maybe three or four
13:35
Speaker 6: years in one house.
13:37
Speaker 5: So you'd be really good at maricondoing. Everything was getting
13:40
Speaker 5: rid of stuff as you move.
13:41
Speaker 2: I love this. Maybe I should do this.
13:43
Speaker 6: My partner hates it. He's like stuff reorganizing everything you
13:47
Speaker 6: sort of have to make home is definitely the people,
13:50
Speaker 6: and you know, I try things so like our kids'
13:52
Speaker 6: rooms were pretty good at the temporary things that can
13:56
Speaker 6: make it there still, so they've got like the you know,
13:58
Speaker 6: removable wallstickers. We to a new house and they've got
14:01
Speaker 6: all their things. It still feels like theirs. Yeah, pre
14:03
Speaker 6: covid I used to say it was no problem Australia,
14:06
Speaker 6: like everyone's just a flight away if you need them.
14:08
Speaker 6: But we obviously felt those border closures pretty hard. Yeah,
14:12
Speaker 6: but you also become very closer. We have our defense
14:16
Speaker 6: family as well, So generally every city that we've lived
14:19
Speaker 6: in we've got some really good friends that we've known
14:21
Speaker 6: for a long time as well, and they're all in
14:24
Speaker 6: the same situation.
14:25
Speaker 2: So yeah, air pick all.
14:26
Speaker 5: Right back to the structured questions before I get myself
14:29
Speaker 5: in trouble. I want to know do you currently have
14:32
Speaker 5: any investments?
14:33
Speaker 6: So we do. Our Number one would be our supers,
14:36
Speaker 6: which is something that we're both pretty proud of. It's
14:38
Speaker 6: something both of us have consciously put extra towards since
14:43
Speaker 6: we both started work. I can't claim all the credit
14:45
Speaker 6: because my dad was huge on educating me around this
14:49
Speaker 6: from the time I got my first job, and to
14:51
Speaker 6: be honest, love Yeah, to be honest, my extra contributions
14:55
Speaker 6: were more just getting him off my back than me
14:58
Speaker 6: being financial say.
15:01
Speaker 2: Hey, whatever it takes. Honestly, I'm proud of him.
15:04
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, say, looking back, it's something I'm so
15:07
Speaker 6: grateful for because, especially now that I'm on the other
15:10
Speaker 6: side of a pretty big career break and I'm not
15:12
Speaker 6: working or earning nearly as much as I was before kids,
15:15
Speaker 6: it's something I'm really grateful that I did early in
15:18
Speaker 6: my career because I'm seeing the benefits of that already.
15:22
Speaker 6: So I checked mine. My last statement from like July
15:27
Speaker 6: was I'm sitting at about two one hundred and ten. Okay,
15:31
Speaker 6: in my defense. My gosh, what I've got two supers,
15:34
Speaker 6: I should say, which I know is normally frowned upon.
15:36
Speaker 6: But I've got my military super Yeah. So that's at
15:39
Speaker 6: about two hundred and ten, and I've now got a
15:42
Speaker 6: self managed super fund for my post defense work, which
15:45
Speaker 6: my dad also helps me manage. And I've got about
15:48
Speaker 6: five thousand dollars in that.
15:50
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, all right, money dires spild the beans.
15:52
Speaker 2: How old are you?
15:53
Speaker 6: I have just turned thirty.
15:55
Speaker 5: So you've just turned thirty and you've got more than
15:57
Speaker 5: two hundred grand in super when the average account balance
16:01
Speaker 5: for someone who is thirty is forty two thousand dollars,
16:04
Speaker 5: sit down and you're worried about your financial circumstances. I
16:07
Speaker 5: think a lot of people are listening to this, going
16:09
Speaker 5: like money direct.
16:11
Speaker 6: When I look at his, it puts mine to shame,
16:14
Speaker 6: does it?
16:14
Speaker 2: Yeah?
16:14
Speaker 6: It does. I'm not great with the full ins and
16:17
Speaker 6: outs of gender pay gap, and I could be on
16:19
Speaker 6: the total wrong like wavelength here, but when we first met,
16:23
Speaker 6: our superbalances were pretty similar. We're with the same superfund,
16:27
Speaker 6: and then obviously I took a step back to have
16:30
Speaker 6: kids and we prioritized his career and his is well
16:34
Speaker 6: in the three hundred thousands.
16:36
Speaker 1: Yeah.
16:36
Speaker 2: Nice.
16:36
Speaker 6: So it's interesting watching that sort of takeoff. So yeah,
16:41
Speaker 6: we've got our supers, and we've also we started getting
16:45
Speaker 6: into shares a couple of years ago, probably two years ago,
16:49
Speaker 6: and so I think we've got about twenty thousand dollars
16:52
Speaker 6: in shares. And I've also over the last sort of
16:55
Speaker 6: six to twelve months started dabbling in micro investing as well.
16:59
Speaker 6: So I have a raise account that I've got just
17:02
Speaker 6: a small amount that I don't notice going into, and
17:04
Speaker 6: then I've also got my roundups. So it's interesting like
17:08
Speaker 6: sit and forget, and then I have a look and
17:09
Speaker 6: I'm like, oh my god, I didn't even notice that
17:12
Speaker 6: coming out.
17:12
Speaker 5: So yeah, that's one of my favorite things about automation
17:16
Speaker 5: is when it's all automated, you just really don't notice it,
17:19
Speaker 5: Whereas when things aren't automated, I feel like money just leaves.
17:23
Speaker 5: I know that I should be as a financial advisor the area,
17:27
Speaker 5: aware of how all of this works, but I still
17:29
Speaker 5: believe that money just slips through my fingers like sand
17:32
Speaker 5: does at the beach sometimes, and if there's no plan,
17:36
Speaker 5: it just disappears.
17:37
Speaker 2: I swear it just is magic, and especially.
17:39
Speaker 6: The roundups, like I love that because I've forgotten that
17:42
Speaker 6: I've turned it on, and then when you actually go
17:45
Speaker 6: through and look at it all, I'm just like, I
17:47
Speaker 6: would have just spent it, you know, if I had it. Yeah, exit,
17:50
Speaker 6: I don't notice it. So that's our investing. We're also
17:53
Speaker 6: at the moment a majority of our savings is going
17:56
Speaker 6: towards our house deposit, and we're actually we're getting married
17:59
Speaker 6: in less than a month, so our savings is also.
18:03
Speaker 2: Girlfriend that sort of.
18:07
Speaker 5: We can talk about wedding planning later. We'll come back
18:09
Speaker 5: to that. I want to know next question, do you
18:12
Speaker 5: have any debts. If so, what are they?
18:14
Speaker 6: So we don't have any personal debts, thankfully, we don't
18:17
Speaker 6: have a car loan, but our family car is salary
18:20
Speaker 6: packaged in my partner's name, so we do have payments
18:22
Speaker 6: that come out fortnitly for that. But it's also like
18:25
Speaker 6: a tax thing for him. I think, yeah, cool. I
18:28
Speaker 6: do have my hex step, which is about twenty six
18:31
Speaker 6: thousand dollars, which feels big because I've done a master's
18:34
Speaker 6: degree and a bachelor's degree, so that's not cheap. But
18:38
Speaker 6: I have been chipping away at it.
18:39
Speaker 5: Epic all right. Next question, my friend an oldie bit
18:43
Speaker 5: of goodie. Do you use shop back when you shop online?
18:47
Speaker 6: So I have an account. I do look now and then,
18:52
Speaker 6: and every time I do, you know what I need
18:54
Speaker 6: to do? And every time I listen to these episodes,
18:56
Speaker 6: I'm like, I need to work out what this extension is.
18:59
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the chrome plugging.
19:01
Speaker 6: Look, that's my homework for this week is to work
19:03
Speaker 6: that out. Because every time I think of it, I
19:05
Speaker 6: go have a look. The specific thing I want I
19:08
Speaker 6: can't get, but I know that there's so many little
19:11
Speaker 6: hacks that I hear everyone else doing. So I feel
19:14
Speaker 6: like if I do that automation. Automation seems to be
19:16
Speaker 6: the key for me. So first step is the account.
19:19
Speaker 3: Yeah.
19:20
Speaker 5: Look, I feel like automation is the key for me too,
19:22
Speaker 5: and I'm halfway there. I'm obviously obsessed with a shot
19:25
Speaker 5: back and have been for years, but I always found
19:27
Speaker 5: it to be a hurdle to use the app on
19:29
Speaker 5: my phone. I'd always be like, Okay, well, I'm a
19:31
Speaker 5: bit lazy. Sometimes I just not use it, knowing that
19:34
Speaker 5: I should have used it, and be like.
19:35
Speaker 2: Oh, it's fine.
19:37
Speaker 5: Now that I have that extension, I can't not use
19:39
Speaker 5: it because I just hit the button and it adds
19:41
Speaker 5: it and it's a money you win.
19:42
Speaker 2: So I'll send you the link later, don't worry.
19:44
Speaker 6: Yes please. It's similar to like when I think about
19:47
Speaker 6: my roundups, Like you'll look at one thing and I'm like, oh,
19:50
Speaker 6: five dollars cash back whatever, But then when everything adds up,
19:54
Speaker 6: that's finished exactly.
19:56
Speaker 2: From little things, big things grow, my friend.
19:59
Speaker 5: Yeah, alright, I want to know, obviously shot back is
20:02
Speaker 5: not your best money habit yet, what do you think
20:05
Speaker 5: your best money habit is?
20:06
Speaker 2: Though?
20:06
Speaker 6: All right, So look, I think I'm a bit of
20:09
Speaker 6: a boss on the old Facebook Marketplace. Love that, Yes,
20:13
Speaker 6: I love it so woman After Jessica Riach's hot. A
20:16
Speaker 6: lot of our house is Facebook Marketplace, and I'm not
20:18
Speaker 6: shy about it. So if anyone comes in and compliments anything,
20:21
Speaker 6: I will tell you where I got it from and
20:23
Speaker 6: how much it was if it was a bargain.
20:25
Speaker 2: Ten out of ten. Love that energy.
20:27
Speaker 6: So I feel like I'm a bit of a dinast.
20:29
Speaker 6: I don't have TikTok, but I feel like instead of
20:31
Speaker 6: scrolling things like TikTok, I'm literally just scrolling Facebook Marketplace.
20:36
Speaker 5: I mean that's good and bad. I mean good because
20:39
Speaker 5: you're probably looking for a bargain. Bad because maybe you're
20:41
Speaker 5: getting bargains when you didn't need to be getting bargains. Yes,
20:44
Speaker 5: that's all right, that's all good. I want to know, though,
20:47
Speaker 5: is that your worst money habit or what is your
20:50
Speaker 5: worst money habit?
20:51
Speaker 6: I think to be honest, so when I do my
20:53
Speaker 6: scrolling on I don't actually buy too much. I'm very
20:55
Speaker 6: considered when I spend, which is also I think possibly
20:59
Speaker 6: a bad thing. So that's what I think my worst
21:02
Speaker 6: money have it is I've got a lot of anxiety
21:04
Speaker 6: around money that I am trying to shift, like I said,
21:07
Speaker 6: I get I can't spend large amounts or even sometimes
21:11
Speaker 6: small amounts of money without feeling that anxiety and needing
21:14
Speaker 6: to check through my bank account and make sure it's
21:16
Speaker 6: all okay, even when I know it's budgeted for. And
21:19
Speaker 6: I think along with that is that head in the
21:21
Speaker 6: sand approach, which I still sometimes get or I feel
21:24
Speaker 6: it creeping in even though I know I don't have to.
21:27
Speaker 6: So like we'll get a bill and I'll get it
21:29
Speaker 6: and I'll panic even though I know it was coming
21:32
Speaker 6: and I know I'm good for it, and I'll just
21:34
Speaker 6: not want to pay it just in case I need
21:37
Speaker 6: that money. But yeah, even when I've put the budgeting
21:40
Speaker 6: in place, it's really hard to shift that.
21:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So my partner's pretty good.
21:46
Speaker 6: He's always like, pay them the day they come, pay
21:48
Speaker 6: them the day they come. But it's just if you.
21:50
Speaker 5: Have any anxiety around it. Oh, I want to ask
21:54
Speaker 5: more about that later. Last question before we go to
21:57
Speaker 5: a really quick break, what grade would you give your
22:00
Speaker 5: money habits? So if we forced you to give yourself
22:02
Speaker 5: a grade.
22:02
Speaker 6: I think i'd want to say maybe be minus. I
22:06
Speaker 6: think as a family, we've made some really good changes
22:08
Speaker 6: the last sort of four and a half years, and
22:11
Speaker 6: we've achieved a lot of goals that we've set out
22:13
Speaker 6: for ourselves. But I think I've got a lot of
22:15
Speaker 6: improvements to make as well.
22:17
Speaker 5: All Right, well let's go to a quick break and
22:19
Speaker 5: after that, I want to know a little bit more
22:21
Speaker 5: about your money anxiety. Don't go anywhere, guys, all right,
22:28
Speaker 5: diving straight back in, Jessica usually bring this in, but
22:32
Speaker 5: I'm really excited to ask some questions about money anxiety.
22:35
Speaker 2: Money diarist.
22:36
Speaker 5: You mentioned before when we're talking about bills, you were like, oh,
22:40
Speaker 5: sometimes they come in and I knew they were coming in,
22:42
Speaker 5: and I still get really anxious about them, even though
22:45
Speaker 5: we heard earlier your partner's got like three hundred grand
22:47
Speaker 5: in super you've got two hundred grand. Like, clearly you're
22:50
Speaker 5: not doing badly. Where does this come from? And why
22:53
Speaker 5: do you think this is happening? Because I feel like
22:55
Speaker 5: that's a really relatable piece of your money story that
22:58
Speaker 5: even I was like, oh, I still get a bit
23:00
Speaker 5: like that sometimes and I can't really explain it.
23:03
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think, to be honest, I had a great
23:06
Speaker 6: upbringing and I had a lot of good habits instilled
23:09
Speaker 6: in me, but I think I was also possibly quite
23:11
Speaker 6: sheltered when it comes to a lot of real life managing,
23:16
Speaker 6: like managing your real life. So I think I was
23:19
Speaker 6: almost blindsided quite a bit when I left home at
23:22
Speaker 6: a young age and I had all of those expenses
23:24
Speaker 6: hit me and I genuinely couldn't pay them. So I
23:29
Speaker 6: was sort of I'd get bills and I would just
23:31
Speaker 6: have that anxiety because I didn't have the money to
23:34
Speaker 6: pay it. My bank account was like I'd have ten
23:38
Speaker 6: dollars in my bank account and I'd have a one
23:39
Speaker 6: hundred and dollar electricity bill, and I was sort of like, well,
23:42
Speaker 6: there's nothing I can do about it, so I have
23:44
Speaker 6: to ignore it until I get paid again. Yeah, then
23:47
Speaker 6: you'd get you know, your gas bill would come in
23:50
Speaker 6: and suddenly I've got two bills now and I can
23:52
Speaker 6: only afford to pay for one. So you'd sort of
23:55
Speaker 6: just have to I would just manage what was going
23:59
Speaker 6: to be worse. Yeah, they're going to kind of my electricity. Cool,
24:02
Speaker 6: I'll pay that phone gets cut off.
24:04
Speaker 1: You know.
24:04
Speaker 6: It was just sort of like a bit of a
24:06
Speaker 6: cycle of that, and it's really hard to shake it.
24:11
Speaker 6: I know, I've actually learned a lot from the podcast,
24:14
Speaker 6: And the thing that helps me the best is budgeting
24:19
Speaker 6: and going through my expenses and looking at it all
24:21
Speaker 6: because generally what I think in my head is like
24:25
Speaker 6: the problem never usually is, so going through things makes
24:30
Speaker 6: me feel a lot calmer. I also like to have
24:34
Speaker 6: different accounts for things because then that removes a lot
24:37
Speaker 6: of the guilt. So my partner and I have our
24:39
Speaker 6: own personal spendings accounts and we've got an allocated amount
24:43
Speaker 6: in those, so that if I do want to get
24:44
Speaker 6: a coffee, I should be able to do that guilt
24:46
Speaker 6: free because it's already been budgeted for. And then we've
24:49
Speaker 6: got our bills account. Yeah, so that really helps, a
24:52
Speaker 6: lot of the feelings are still there, though, so I
24:55
Speaker 6: just have to consciously. I try and tell myself, you know,
24:58
Speaker 6: you say things like money flows naturally to me, and
25:02
Speaker 6: I try to remind myself that we've put a lot
25:04
Speaker 6: of hard work in. Once again, it can be difficult
25:08
Speaker 6: because we had kids quite young. For I guess what's
25:12
Speaker 6: the average age nowadays?
25:14
Speaker 4: How old were you exactly when you had your first one?
25:16
Speaker 6: So when I fell pregnant with my son, I was
25:18
Speaker 6: twenty four, so obviously a lot of our friends weren't
25:22
Speaker 6: in that same space. So a lot of our friends have,
25:26
Speaker 6: you know, like the dual income, no kids, and are
25:28
Speaker 6: all buying their homes and you sort of look at
25:30
Speaker 6: it and you're like, oh, we're like a step behind.
25:32
Speaker 6: But you've got to reframe it a bit because I'm like,
25:35
Speaker 6: We've already started raising a family, and I've already taken
25:39
Speaker 6: that career break and we're starting to build up again.
25:42
Speaker 6: So yeah, that comparison sort of brings those feelings back
25:46
Speaker 6: in again.
25:47
Speaker 5: Yeah. Absolutely, I can see where you're coming from at
25:50
Speaker 5: the same time as wanting to jump through this screen
25:53
Speaker 5: and absolutely shake you, like I love you dearly, I promise,
25:57
Speaker 5: But knowing how well off you are, your cash flow
26:00
Speaker 5: looks really good. You're not in any serious debt at all.
26:03
Speaker 5: All you've got is your hex and you know this
26:06
Speaker 5: novated lease and then you've got really great super like
26:08
Speaker 5: you are a million.
26:10
Speaker 2: Times ahead of so many people.
26:12
Speaker 5: But it's interesting talking about this because even though I
26:15
Speaker 5: say that really pragmatically, you're like, yeah, okay, but that
26:18
Speaker 5: doesn't mean that we are where we want to be
26:20
Speaker 5: or where we thought we would be at this age.
26:22
Speaker 5: So it doesn't you know, change the circumstances. You said
26:26
Speaker 5: something earlier when we're talking about super. You said, I
26:29
Speaker 5: don't know much about the gender pay gap, but when
26:31
Speaker 5: my partner and I got together, our supers were really similar.
26:35
Speaker 5: How have you navigated that conversation with your partner about
26:39
Speaker 5: superannuation and how it works, because it is a really
26:42
Speaker 5: big conversation regardless of whether you've got thirty thousand dollars
26:45
Speaker 5: in super or as your partner.
26:47
Speaker 2: Does, three hundred grand.
26:48
Speaker 5: So what does that look like in your relationship and
26:51
Speaker 5: why do you think that this is so different nowadays,
26:54
Speaker 5: even though you've taken some time off.
26:57
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think there's one thing so, not even just so,
27:00
Speaker 6: but our finances in general, a big decision that we made.
27:05
Speaker 6: So we hadn't been together all that long when I
27:08
Speaker 6: felt pregnant with our son. We wanted to do it together.
27:11
Speaker 6: We wanted to enter it as you know, that stage
27:13
Speaker 6: in our life as a unit, as a family, and
27:16
Speaker 6: I was staring down the barrel of my once again,
27:20
Speaker 6: very privileged to have the maternity package that I had,
27:23
Speaker 6: so I was full time defense when both our kids
27:25
Speaker 6: were born. I took my maternity leave at half pay
27:28
Speaker 6: and got close to twelve months of paid leave, but
27:31
Speaker 6: it was at half paid.
27:32
Speaker 2: That's so good.
27:34
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, very lucky. So I had that, but still
27:37
Speaker 6: for your salary to be cut in half is quite
27:40
Speaker 6: a scary thing to be facing. And at that time
27:42
Speaker 6: we had separate accounts still, so we had a conversation
27:45
Speaker 6: and our money was pulled at that time, but it
27:48
Speaker 6: was still paid into separate accounts that we didn't have
27:51
Speaker 6: access to each other's money. We made that decision that
27:54
Speaker 6: if I was taking that step back from work, then
27:57
Speaker 6: our money was pulled, especially if he was going to
28:00
Speaker 6: be going away and I potentially couldn't contact him. I
28:03
Speaker 6: didn't want to not be able to access a large
28:05
Speaker 6: portion of our families income. Yeah, of course, so we
28:07
Speaker 6: look at all of our income as a joint asset.
28:11
Speaker 6: So everything is shit. I did put a little bit
28:14
Speaker 6: extra into my super my first lot of maternity leave,
28:17
Speaker 6: so we saved up some money and I could put
28:19
Speaker 6: that in as a lump sum. But essentially everything is
28:23
Speaker 6: pulled fast. He understands that he couldn't have his career
28:28
Speaker 6: how it is now with his kids if it wasn't
28:30
Speaker 6: for me or another female that would take my spot.
28:33
Speaker 7: But put that mentality straight in the Bin, he wouldn't
28:39
Speaker 7: have everything he has now if I hadn't made the
28:42
Speaker 7: sacrifices that I have.
28:44
Speaker 6: In saying that as well, I wouldn't have the life
28:47
Speaker 6: that I have now with my family if it wasn't
28:49
Speaker 6: for how hard he works fast as well.
28:51
Speaker 5: Yeah, because you're a team, Like, there's nobody else involved
28:54
Speaker 5: in that. Some other women you're going to I can't,
28:56
Speaker 5: I can't, you're carolling me.
28:58
Speaker 2: It's a team effort.
28:59
Speaker 1: Right.
29:00
Speaker 5: Going back to Super, how have you navigated that conversation?
29:03
Speaker 5: Is he contributing to your super so it's equal or
29:07
Speaker 5: is this something to be like, oh wow, I haven't
29:08
Speaker 5: really brought that up, or I just want to know
29:10
Speaker 5: what do those conversations internally look like.
29:13
Speaker 6: So we have had conversations. So when we got our
29:16
Speaker 6: did our tax return this year, he had jumped up
29:20
Speaker 6: a quiet a break of a bracket. Yeah, so we
29:23
Speaker 6: really saw that tax hit us. So we started talking
29:28
Speaker 6: about ways that he could bring down his taxable income.
29:30
Speaker 6: And the first thing we thought of was contributing extra
29:32
Speaker 6: into Super. And I was like, well, what about contributing
29:35
Speaker 6: into my super instead of yours?
29:37
Speaker 1: Yes?
29:37
Speaker 2: Please sir.
29:38
Speaker 6: Yeah, So we did talk about it, except because in
29:41
Speaker 6: my income was a certain amount, we couldn't take his
29:45
Speaker 6: pay and contribute it to mine. So that wasn't an
29:47
Speaker 6: option because I don't get SUPER taken out of my
29:51
Speaker 6: reserves pay. We take a certain portion and contribute that separately.
29:57
Speaker 6: But like I said, all of our pay is we
29:59
Speaker 6: consider it pulled anyway. So he's just going to look
30:02
Speaker 6: after me when he's older.
30:04
Speaker 5: So the conversation you're having with us right now is
30:07
Speaker 5: really free flowing. So I say that because you're like, yep,
30:10
Speaker 5: we just chatted about it. Whereas for a lot of couples,
30:13
Speaker 5: bringing up should we put money? Am I super or
30:15
Speaker 5: your super is actually a really big pain point because
30:18
Speaker 5: people feel really awkward. Have you always been really open
30:22
Speaker 5: and honest with your partner about money conversations or is
30:25
Speaker 5: this something that you've worked towards. I know a few
30:27
Speaker 5: people listening are going to be like, oh my gosh,
30:29
Speaker 5: she just said that to her partner. How have those
30:31
Speaker 5: conversations evolved in your relationship to become, you know, as
30:35
Speaker 5: easy and free flowing as they seem to be right now.
30:38
Speaker 6: It's not something that was natural for me. I think
30:40
Speaker 6: it's something that either we've worked on or It's something
30:44
Speaker 6: that's natural for us as two people, because I've certainly
30:48
Speaker 6: had relationships in the past where I've felt a lot
30:51
Speaker 6: of guilt around money and those partners, and I've felt
30:55
Speaker 6: like I had to hide or I've felt like I
30:58
Speaker 6: shouldn't be spending money on myself because they've made comments
31:02
Speaker 6: about my spending habits and things like that, even when
31:05
Speaker 6: I don't think that they were that bad. He's very like,
31:09
Speaker 6: I remember before we had our kids and so we
31:11
Speaker 6: had a lot less responsibility. His tagline was we worked
31:16
Speaker 6: too hard to not x YZN. So he's probably not
31:20
Speaker 6: quite as free with that now, but he's very If
31:23
Speaker 6: I say something means a lot to me, he's like, cool,
31:26
Speaker 6: let's do it like He's very open with it. And
31:29
Speaker 6: he definitely doesn't see money as he's in mine because
31:33
Speaker 6: he can see the sacrifices that I've made in my career,
31:37
Speaker 6: like the job that I joined the military for. I
31:40
Speaker 6: can't do if I was following and supporting his career,
31:43
Speaker 6: so he can totally see that. Yeah, I've had issues
31:47
Speaker 6: like it in the past with other people, but I
31:50
Speaker 6: think it must be a him, and I think I
31:52
Speaker 6: remember when I was pregnant the first time, and I
31:57
Speaker 6: was really really nervous about it and about money. But
32:00
Speaker 6: as soon as we had that real first initial conversation
32:03
Speaker 6: about it and opened everything up, everything has flowed pretty
32:06
Speaker 6: well from then.
32:07
Speaker 5: I love that do the conversations that flow so easily
32:11
Speaker 5: between you and your partner also flow into the conversations
32:14
Speaker 5: you have around money with your children.
32:16
Speaker 6: So it's yeah, it's interesting you say that when you
32:19
Speaker 6: talk about money stories. Alo I hear people talk about
32:21
Speaker 6: money stories and their own money stories. I'm very conscious
32:25
Speaker 6: of the fact that we're writing theirs as well now,
32:28
Speaker 6: So sometimes you sort of catch yourself kids and the
32:31
Speaker 6: age that our kids are at the moment. They're at
32:33
Speaker 6: that age where they just hear things and they hold
32:35
Speaker 6: onto things. So we've started implementing like savings, because I
32:41
Speaker 6: wouldn't want to ever say things like we can't have that,
32:44
Speaker 6: we can't afford that, you know, when they ask for
32:46
Speaker 6: toys every five seconds about the shops. Yeah, I also
32:50
Speaker 6: don't want them to just be given everything that they
32:52
Speaker 6: asked for. So we've started pocket money. We've started the
32:57
Speaker 6: idea of saving for something. They're not quite at the
33:00
Speaker 6: age yet where they can fully comprehend I need to
33:04
Speaker 6: save exactly twenty dollars and so that's going to take
33:06
Speaker 6: me exactly ten weeks. Like they can't quite do that yet.
33:10
Speaker 6: It's more that feeling of I want that, Okay, well
33:12
Speaker 6: you can have it, we have to save up for it.
33:15
Speaker 6: Sometimes they get some boosters from us if we want
33:18
Speaker 6: them to get there.
33:19
Speaker 2: Sooner, if you really want them to achieve that goal sooner.
33:22
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they've got short attention stands as well.
33:24
Speaker 6: And I also don't want to hear about that toy
33:27
Speaker 6: every day.
33:28
Speaker 2: Next you're like, I'm over at you whin.
33:31
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can have it. I don't care
33:33
Speaker 6: that much. We do try and be really conscious about
33:35
Speaker 6: the language we use with them, because I wouldn't want
33:38
Speaker 6: them to grow up sheltered and not understanding that you
33:42
Speaker 6: have to work hard to be able to pay for things.
33:45
Speaker 6: But I also don't want them to feel guilty if
33:47
Speaker 6: they do want something nice.
33:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, of course.
33:50
Speaker 5: I love that approach to it, where you're like, look,
33:52
Speaker 5: we're trying, but it's just what works best for our family,
33:55
Speaker 5: and we can be flexible with it. And I'm sure
33:57
Speaker 5: you are writing beautiful money stories for your kids.
34:00
Speaker 2: I literally love.
34:02
Speaker 5: Hearing about it all right, money Diarist, Unfortunately, I think
34:05
Speaker 5: that's all we have time for today. I feel like
34:07
Speaker 5: I've learned so much about you and your story, and
34:11
Speaker 5: that doesn't matter how much you earn or what your
34:13
Speaker 5: family is going through. You still have an underlying sense
34:16
Speaker 5: of money anxiety, if that's how you grew up around it.
34:19
Speaker 5: But I think you are writing beautiful money stories for
34:21
Speaker 5: your children. So thank you so much for sharing that
34:24
Speaker 5: with us.
34:25
Speaker 6: Thank you so much. It's such a pleasure to come.
34:28
Speaker 6: And I can't wait to use my new chromeus what
34:30
Speaker 6: is it? Chrome cast chrome extension, Yes, dinosaur.
34:35
Speaker 5: Honestly, I'll send it to you because it took me
34:38
Speaker 5: ages to work it out, and then I realized it
34:39
Speaker 5: took two seconds.
34:40
Speaker 2: So I've got you, I promise.
34:42
Speaker 5: But with that, Jesse GOTRICHI can you please wrap the
34:44
Speaker 5: boring but important stuff.
34:46
Speaker 4: Of course, don't get guys. The advice shed on She's
34:48
Speaker 4: on the money is generally nature and does not consider
34:50
Speaker 4: your individual circumstances. She's on the money exist purely for
34:54
Speaker 4: educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make
34:56
Speaker 4: an investment or a financial decision. And we promise, Victoria
35:00
Speaker 4: bye and Cheese on the Money are authorized representatives of
35:02
Speaker 4: Infocused Securities Australia Proprietary Limited, A b N four seven
35:06
Speaker 4: oh nine seven seven nine seven O fort nine a
35:08
Speaker 4: F s L two three six five two three
35:10
Speaker 5: See one Wednesday, Guy bye