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The Parallel Path: Understanding Sexual Availability in Marriage · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for August 14, 2026 The Parallel Path, Understanding Sexual
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  Availability in Marriage And finally this week, what does it mean to be sexually
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  available to your spouse?
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  I want to start with what it does not mean. Being sexually available does not
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  mean you always say yes to sex.
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  Neither does it mean you do everything your spouse wants to do.
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  And it certainly does not mean you sacrifice your sexual wants,
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  needs, or enjoyment for your spouses.
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  If you don't think you can have regular sex without doing one of the things
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  on the does not mean list, you and or your spouse need to get help What does
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  it mean to be sexually available to your spouse?
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  In simple terms, it means you are able to connect on a sexual level And just
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  as making an emotional connection on occasion is not enough,
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  only making a sexual connection on occasion is not enough Doing it well means
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  being able to be there when your spouse most needs it,
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  Another way to say this is that sexual availability means being able to share
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  your sexual self with your spouse And engage with them as they share their sexual self with you,
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  One of the prerequisites for sexual availability is being in touch with your
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  own sexuality You can't share what you don't feel And you can't receive from
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  your spouse if you are close to your own sexuality,
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  If this is you, it may take some time and effort to change Get help if necessary,
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  Empathy certainly helps, as it can tell you when you should reach out,
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  But being willing is huge And with practice you will build empathy Learn the
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  signs they need sex Not want it, need it And while what they feel may not connect
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  to reality They still feel it and you need to validate that,
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  As a starting place Ask your spouse daily how they feel sexually Ask how much
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  they thought about sex And how strongly they feel like having sex,
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  Also realize that if you haven't been sexually available Your spouse may flood
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  you at first As they make up for not having what they need Give them time to normalize.
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  By the way, if much of this seemed familiar, it's very similar to what I said
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  on Wednesday about being emotionally available.
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  The two really are very much alike.
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  This is Paul, and doing your spouse well is doing marriage well.