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Note 61: The Hard Conversation You Keep Avoiding · Notes to Her

• 0:16
  Hey,
• 0:16
  girl.
• 0:16
  Hey.
• 0:17
  Welcome
• 0:17
  back
• 0:17
  to
• 0:17
  Nose
• 0:17
  to
• 0:18
  her
• 0:18
  the
• 0:18
  daily
• 0:18
  pep
• 0:18
  talk.
• 0:19
  I'm
• 0:19
  Yaya,
• 0:20
  your
• 0:20
  confidence
• 0:20
  and
• 0:20
  mindset
• 0:21
  coach,
• 0:21
  here
• 0:22
  to
• 0:22
  help
• 0:22
  you
• 0:22
  get
• 0:23
  out
• 0:23
  of
• 0:23
  your
• 0:23
  own
• 0:23
  way,
• 0:24
  get
• 0:24
  honest
• 0:24
  with
• 0:24
  yourself,
• 0:25
  and
• 0:25
  stop
• 0:26
  having
• 0:26
  the
• 0:26
  conversations
• 0:27
  that
• 0:27
  will
• 0:27
  actually
• 0:27
  change
• 0:28
  your
• 0:29
  life.
• 0:30
  So
• 0:30
  instead
• 0:30
  of
• 0:30
  hyping
• 0:31
  you
• 0:31
  up
• 0:31
  today,
• 0:31
  I'm
• 0:31
  going
• 0:32
  to
• 0:32
  sit
• 0:32
  down
• 0:32
  with
• 0:32
  you
• 0:32
  and
• 0:32
  pull
• 0:33
  up
• 0:33
  a
• 0:33
  chair
• 0:34
  and
• 0:34
  talk
• 0:34
  to
• 0:34
  you
• 0:34
  about
• 0:35
  the
• 0:35
  conversation
• 0:35
  that
• 0:36
  you've
• 0:36
  been
• 0:36
  avoiding.
• 0:37
  Not
• 0:38
  the
• 0:38
  conversation
• 0:38
  with
• 0:38
  your
• 0:39
  boss,
• 0:40
  not
• 0:40
  the
• 0:40
  conversation
• 0:41
  with
• 0:41
  your
• 0:41
  partner,
• 0:42
  not
• 0:42
  even
• 0:42
  the
• 0:43
  conversation
• 0:43
  with
• 0:43
  your
• 0:44
  best
• 0:44
  friend.
• 0:45
  I'm
• 0:45
  talking
• 0:45
  about
• 0:45
  the
• 0:46
  hard
• 0:46
  conversation
• 0:47
  with
• 0:47
  yourself,
• 0:48
  the
• 0:48
  one
• 0:48
  where
• 0:49
  you
• 0:49
  get
• 0:49
  quiet
• 0:49
  enough
• 0:50
  to
• 0:50
  ask
• 0:50
  the
• 0:50
  questions
• 0:51
  you've
• 0:51
  been
• 0:51
  running
• 0:51
  from.
• 0:52
  What
• 0:53
  am
• 0:53
  I
• 0:53
  tolerating?
• 0:55
  What
• 0:55
  am
• 0:55
  I
• 0:55
  avoiding?
• 0:56
  What
• 0:56
  am
• 0:56
  I
• 0:56
  settling
• 0:57
  for?
• 0:57
  And
• 0:57
  pretending
• 0:58
  that
• 0:58
  I'm
• 0:58
  okay
• 0:59
  with
• 0:59
  it.
• 1:00
  Stay
• 1:00
  with
• 1:00
  me
• 1:01
  because
• 1:01
  this
• 1:01
  one
• 1:02
  matters.
• 1:13
  So
• 1:13
  we've
• 1:13
  spent
• 1:14
  a
• 1:14
  lot
• 1:14
  of
• 1:14
  time
• 1:14
  talking
• 1:14
  about
• 1:15
  speaking
• 1:15
  up,
• 1:16
  using
• 1:16
  your
• 1:16
  voice,
• 1:17
  saying,
• 1:17
  setting
• 1:18
  boundaries
• 1:18
  with
• 1:18
  other
• 1:19
  people,
• 1:19
  and
• 1:19
  having
• 1:19
  hard
• 1:20
  conversations
• 1:20
  with
• 1:21
  people
• 1:21
  in
• 1:21
  your
• 1:21
  life
• 1:22
  who
• 1:22
  need
• 1:22
  to
• 1:23
  hear
• 1:23
  something
• 1:23
  from
• 1:24
  you.
• 1:24
  And
• 1:24
  yes,
• 1:25
  all
• 1:25
  of
• 1:25
  that
• 1:25
  is
• 1:26
  important.
• 1:26
  But
• 1:27
  here's
• 1:27
  what
• 1:27
  I
• 1:27
  think
• 1:27
  we
• 1:27
  skip
• 1:28
  over.
• 1:29
  Before
• 1:29
  you
• 1:29
  can
• 1:30
  have
• 1:30
  the
• 1:30
  hard
• 1:30
  conversations
• 1:31
  with
• 1:31
  anyone
• 1:32
  else,
• 1:32
  you
• 1:32
  have
• 1:32
  to
• 1:33
  be
• 1:33
  willing
• 1:33
  to
• 1:33
  have
• 1:33
  it
• 1:34
  with
• 1:34
  yourself.
• 1:35
  And
• 1:35
  that.
• 1:36
  That
• 1:36
  is
• 1:36
  one
• 1:36
  of
• 1:36
  the
• 1:37
  things
• 1:37
  that
• 1:37
  most
• 1:38
  of
• 1:38
  us
• 1:38
  avoid
• 1:38
  the
• 1:39
  longest.
• 1:40
  Because
• 1:40
  conversations
• 1:41
  with
• 1:41
  other
• 1:41
  people,
• 1:41
  you
• 1:42
  can
• 1:42
  rehearse
• 1:42
  those.
• 1:43
  You
• 1:43
  can
• 1:43
  prep
• 1:43
  what
• 1:44
  you're
• 1:44
  going
• 1:44
  to
• 1:44
  say.
• 1:44
  You
• 1:45
  can.
• 1:45
  You
• 1:45
  could
• 1:45
  predict
• 1:45
  even
• 1:45
  how
• 1:46
  they
• 1:46
  might
• 1:46
  respond.
• 1:47
  But
• 1:47
  a
• 1:47
  conversation
• 1:48
  with
• 1:48
  yourself,
• 1:49
  there's
• 1:49
  no
• 1:49
  script.
• 1:50
  There's
• 1:51
  no
• 1:51
  buffer.
• 1:52
  It's
• 1:52
  just
• 1:52
  you
• 1:53
  and
• 1:53
  the
• 1:53
  truth
• 1:53
  that
• 1:54
  you
• 1:54
  have
• 1:54
  been
• 1:54
  tiptoeing
• 1:55
  around.
• 1:56
  And
• 1:56
  that's
• 1:56
  why
• 1:56
  it's
• 1:56
  hard.
• 1:57
  Not
• 1:57
  because
• 1:58
  you
• 1:58
  don't
• 1:58
  know
• 1:58
  the
• 1:58
  answers,
• 1:59
  but
• 1:59
  because
• 1:59
  you
• 2:00
  do.
• 2:02
  Now.
• 2:02
  There
• 2:03
  was
• 2:03
  a
• 2:03
  season
• 2:03
  in
• 2:03
  my
• 2:03
  life
• 2:04
  where
• 2:04
  I
• 2:04
  was
• 2:04
  moving.
• 2:05
  Like
• 2:05
  on
• 2:05
  paper,
• 2:06
  I
• 2:06
  was
• 2:06
  doing
• 2:06
  all
• 2:06
  the
• 2:07
  things.
• 2:07
  I
• 2:07
  was
• 2:07
  showing
• 2:07
  up.
• 2:08
  I
• 2:08
  was
• 2:08
  staying
• 2:08
  busy.
• 2:09
  But
• 2:09
  underneath
• 2:10
  all
• 2:10
  of
• 2:10
  that
• 2:10
  motion,
• 2:10
  I
• 2:11
  was
• 2:11
  quite
• 2:11
  mildly
• 2:12
  tolerating
• 2:12
  things
• 2:12
  that
• 2:13
  I
• 2:13
  had
• 2:13
  absolutely
• 2:14
  no
• 2:14
  business
• 2:15
  tolerating
• 2:16
  a
• 2:16
  situation.
• 2:17
  I
• 2:17
  kept
• 2:17
  rationalizing
• 2:18
  a
• 2:19
  version
• 2:19
  of
• 2:19
  myself.
• 2:19
  I
• 2:20
  kept
• 2:20
  shrinking
• 2:20
  to
• 2:21
  fit
• 2:21
  into
• 2:21
  spaces
• 2:21
  that
• 2:22
  were
• 2:22
  never
• 2:22
  built
• 2:23
  for
• 2:23
  me.
• 2:23
  And
• 2:24
  the
• 2:24
  wall
• 2:24
  parties,
• 2:25
  I
• 2:25
  knew
• 2:26
  deep
• 2:26
  down
• 2:26
  I
• 2:27
  already
• 2:27
  knew
• 2:27
  what
• 2:27
  needed
• 2:28
  to
• 2:28
  change.
• 2:29
  But
• 2:30
  knowing
• 2:30
  something
• 2:30
  and
• 2:31
  actually
• 2:31
  sitting
• 2:32
  down
• 2:32
  with
• 2:32
  yourself
• 2:32
  and
• 2:33
  having
• 2:33
  the
• 2:33
  honest
• 2:34
  conversation
• 2:34
  about
• 2:35
  it,
• 2:35
  those
• 2:36
  are
• 2:36
  two
• 2:36
  completely
• 2:37
  different
• 2:37
  things.
• 2:38
  Because
• 2:38
  having
• 2:38
  a
• 2:39
  conversation
• 2:39
  means
• 2:39
  you
• 2:40
  have
• 2:40
  to
• 2:40
  look
• 2:40
  at
• 2:40
  it
• 2:40
  directly,
• 2:41
  and
• 2:42
  looking
• 2:42
  at
• 2:42
  it
• 2:42
  directly
• 2:43
  means
• 2:43
  you
• 2:43
  probably
• 2:44
  have
• 2:44
  to
• 2:44
  do
• 2:44
  something
• 2:44
  about
• 2:45
  it.
• 2:45
  And
• 2:46
  doing
• 2:46
  something
• 2:46
  about
• 2:46
  it
• 2:47
  means
• 2:47
  things
• 2:47
  change.
• 2:48
  And
• 2:49
  change,
• 2:49
  even
• 2:50
  good
• 2:50
  change,
• 2:50
  is
• 2:51
  scary.
• 2:52
  So
• 2:52
  I
• 2:52
  kept
• 2:52
  moving.
• 2:53
  I
• 2:53
  kept
• 2:53
  myself
• 2:54
  busy.
• 2:54
  I
• 2:54
  kept
• 2:55
  avoiding
• 2:55
  the
• 2:55
  conversation
• 2:57
  until
• 2:57
  I
• 2:57
  couldn't
• 2:58
  anymore
• 2:58
  and
• 2:59
  the
• 2:59
  moment
• 2:59
  I
• 2:59
  finally
• 3:00
  stopped
• 3:00
  and
• 3:00
  got
• 3:01
  honest
• 3:01
  with
• 3:01
  myself,
• 3:02
  that
• 3:02
  was
• 3:03
  the
• 3:03
  beginning
• 3:03
  of
• 3:03
  everything.
• 3:04
  Everything's
• 3:04
  shifting.
• 3:05
  You
• 3:06
  may
• 3:06
  be
• 3:06
  in
• 3:06
  that
• 3:07
  version
• 3:07
  right
• 3:07
  now.
• 3:08
  Maybe
• 3:08
  you've
• 3:09
  been
• 3:09
  staying
• 3:09
  busy
• 3:10
  and
• 3:10
  maybe
• 3:10
  this
• 3:11
  episode
• 3:11
  is
• 3:11
  the
• 3:11
  nudge
• 3:12
  to
• 3:12
  finally
• 3:12
  slow
• 3:13
  down
• 3:13
  and
• 3:13
  listen
• 3:14
  to
• 3:14
  yourself.
• 3:16
  Now,
• 3:16
  let's
• 3:16
  talk
• 3:17
  about
• 3:17
  what
• 3:17
  this
• 3:17
  actually
• 3:18
  looks
• 3:18
  like.
• 3:18
  Because
• 3:19
  avoiding
• 3:19
  the
• 3:19
  hard
• 3:20
  conversations
• 3:20
  with
• 3:20
  yourself
• 3:21
  doesn't
• 3:21
  always
• 3:22
  look
• 3:22
  like
• 3:22
  being
• 3:22
  in
• 3:23
  denial.
• 3:24
  Sometimes
• 3:25
  it
• 3:25
  looks
• 3:25
  really
• 3:25
  productive.
• 3:26
  It
• 3:27
  looks
• 3:27
  like
• 3:27
  staying
• 3:28
  in
• 3:28
  the
• 3:28
  job
• 3:28
  that
• 3:29
  slowly
• 3:29
  drains
• 3:30
  you,
• 3:30
  but
• 3:30
  calling
• 3:30
  it
• 3:31
  being
• 3:31
  responsible.
• 3:32
  It
• 3:32
  looks
• 3:33
  like
• 3:33
  allowing
• 3:33
  people
• 3:33
  to
• 3:34
  treat
• 3:34
  you
• 3:34
  in
• 3:34
  ways
• 3:34
  that
• 3:35
  you
• 3:35
  would
• 3:35
  never
• 3:35
  accept
• 3:36
  from
• 3:36
  a
• 3:36
  stranger,
• 3:37
  but
• 3:37
  calling
• 3:37
  it
• 3:38
  being
• 3:38
  the
• 3:38
  bigger
• 3:39
  person,
• 3:39
  it
• 3:40
  looks
• 3:40
  like
• 3:40
  putting
• 3:40
  your
• 3:41
  goal
• 3:41
  on
• 3:41
  the
• 3:41
  back
• 3:41
  burner
• 3:42
  month
• 3:42
  after
• 3:43
  month.
• 3:43
  But
• 3:44
  calling
• 3:44
  it
• 3:44
  waiting
• 3:45
  for
• 3:45
  the
• 3:45
  right
• 3:45
  time,
• 3:47
  it
• 3:47
  looks
• 3:47
  like
• 3:48
  saying,
• 3:48
  I'm
• 3:48
  fine
• 3:49
  so
• 3:50
  many
• 3:50
  times
• 3:50
  you
• 3:51
  start
• 3:51
  to
• 3:51
  believe
• 3:51
  it.
• 3:52
  And
• 3:52
  listen,
• 3:53
  I
• 3:53
  am
• 3:53
  not
• 3:53
  here
• 3:53
  to
• 3:54
  call
• 3:54
  you
• 3:54
  out
• 3:54
  harshly
• 3:55
  because
• 3:55
  I've
• 3:56
  done
• 3:56
  every
• 3:56
  single
• 3:57
  one
• 3:57
  of
• 3:57
  these
• 3:57
  things.
• 3:58
  Every
• 3:59
  single
• 4:00
  one.
• 4:01
  But
• 4:01
  here's
• 4:01
  what
• 4:01
  I
• 4:01
  need
• 4:02
  you
• 4:02
  to
• 4:02
  understand.
• 4:03
  Avoidance
• 4:04
  is
• 4:04
  not
• 4:04
  peace.
• 4:05
  Avoidance
• 4:06
  is
• 4:06
  just
• 4:06
  delayed
• 4:07
  discomfort
• 4:08
  with
• 4:08
  interest.
• 4:09
  So
• 4:10
  the
• 4:10
  longer
• 4:10
  that
• 4:10
  you
• 4:10
  push
• 4:11
  that
• 4:11
  conversation
• 4:11
  down,
• 4:12
  the
• 4:12
  heavier
• 4:13
  it
• 4:13
  gets,
• 4:13
  and
• 4:14
  the
• 4:14
  heavier
• 4:14
  it
• 4:14
  gets,
• 4:15
  the
• 4:15
  harder
• 4:16
  it
• 4:16
  becomes
• 4:16
  to
• 4:16
  carry.
• 4:17
  And
• 4:18
  somewhere
• 4:18
  along
• 4:19
  the
• 4:19
  way,
• 4:19
  you
• 4:19
  start
• 4:20
  to
• 4:20
  believe
• 4:20
  that
• 4:20
  weight
• 4:21
  is
• 4:21
  just
• 4:21
  normal,
• 4:22
  that
• 4:23
  this
• 4:23
  is
• 4:23
  just
• 4:23
  how
• 4:24
  life
• 4:24
  feels.
• 4:25
  That
• 4:25
  being
• 4:25
  a
• 4:25
  little
• 4:26
  numb,
• 4:26
  a
• 4:26
  little
• 4:27
  stuck,
• 4:27
  a
• 4:27
  little
• 4:28
  disconnected
• 4:28
  from
• 4:28
  yourself
• 4:29
  is
• 4:29
  just
• 4:29
  part
• 4:29
  of
• 4:30
  being
• 4:30
  an
• 4:30
  adult
• 4:30
  woman
• 4:30
  with
• 4:31
  responsibilities.
• 4:32
  But
• 4:32
  no,
• 4:33
  that's
• 4:34
  not
• 4:34
  life.
• 4:35
  That's
• 4:35
  what's
• 4:35
  happening
• 4:36
  when
• 4:36
  you've
• 4:36
  been
• 4:36
  avoiding
• 4:37
  yourself
• 4:37
  for
• 4:38
  too
• 4:38
  long.
• 4:40
  So
• 4:40
  you
• 4:40
  might
• 4:41
  be
• 4:41
  wondering,
• 4:41
  why
• 4:41
  do
• 4:41
  we
• 4:42
  do
• 4:42
  this?
• 4:42
  Why
• 4:43
  do
• 4:43
  smart,
• 4:43
  capable,
• 4:44
  self
• 4:44
  aware
• 4:45
  women
• 4:45
  who
• 4:46
  know
• 4:46
  better
• 4:46
  keep
• 4:47
  avoiding
• 4:47
  the
• 4:47
  conversations
• 4:48
  with
• 4:48
  themselves?
• 4:49
  It's
• 4:50
  not
• 4:50
  weakness.
• 4:51
  It's
• 4:51
  not
• 4:51
  laziness.
• 4:53
  It's
• 4:53
  fear.
• 4:54
  Specifically,
• 4:55
  it's
• 4:55
  the
• 4:55
  fear
• 4:55
  of
• 4:56
  what
• 4:56
  we'll
• 4:56
  find
• 4:57
  when
• 4:57
  we
• 4:57
  look.
• 4:58
  Because
• 4:58
  if
• 4:58
  we
• 4:58
  look
• 4:59
  too
• 4:59
  closely,
• 5:00
  we
• 5:00
  might
• 5:00
  have
• 5:01
  to
• 5:01
  admit
• 5:01
  that
• 5:01
  we've
• 5:01
  been
• 5:02
  settling.
• 5:02
  We
• 5:03
  might
• 5:03
  have
• 5:03
  to
• 5:03
  admit
• 5:03
  that
• 5:04
  we've
• 5:04
  been
• 5:04
  playing
• 5:04
  small.
• 5:05
  We
• 5:06
  might
• 5:06
  have
• 5:06
  to
• 5:06
  admit
• 5:07
  that
• 5:07
  life
• 5:08
  that
• 5:08
  we
• 5:08
  have
• 5:09
  been
• 5:09
  maintaining,
• 5:10
  the
• 5:10
  one
• 5:10
  that
• 5:10
  looks
• 5:11
  fine
• 5:11
  from
• 5:11
  the
• 5:11
  outside,
• 5:12
  isn't
• 5:13
  what
• 5:13
  we
• 5:14
  really
• 5:14
  want.
• 5:15
  And
• 5:15
  that
• 5:15
  truth
• 5:16
  feels
• 5:16
  heavy.
• 5:17
  It
• 5:17
  feels
• 5:17
  like
• 5:18
  failure.
• 5:18
  It
• 5:19
  feels
• 5:19
  like,
• 5:19
  if
• 5:20
  I
• 5:20
  admit
• 5:20
  this,
• 5:20
  what
• 5:21
  does
• 5:21
  this
• 5:21
  say
• 5:21
  about
• 5:22
  me?
• 5:22
  But
• 5:23
  here's
• 5:23
  what
• 5:23
  I've
• 5:23
  learned
• 5:24
  and
• 5:24
  what
• 5:24
  I
• 5:24
  want
• 5:24
  to
• 5:24
  leave
• 5:25
  with
• 5:25
  you
• 5:25
  today.
• 5:26
  The
• 5:26
  truth
• 5:27
  doesn't
• 5:27
  get
• 5:27
  lighter
• 5:28
  by
• 5:28
  ignoring
• 5:28
  it.
• 5:29
  It
• 5:29
  just
• 5:29
  spreads
• 5:31
  into
• 5:31
  your
• 5:31
  confidence,
• 5:32
  into
• 5:32
  the
• 5:33
  way
• 5:33
  you
• 5:33
  show
• 5:33
  up
• 5:33
  at
• 5:34
  work,
• 5:34
  into
• 5:35
  your
• 5:35
  relationships,
• 5:36
  into
• 5:36
  the
• 5:36
  way
• 5:37
  you
• 5:37
  talk
• 5:37
  to
• 5:37
  yourself
• 5:38
  in
• 5:39
  the
• 5:39
  mirror.
• 5:40
  The
• 5:40
  hard
• 5:40
  conversation
• 5:41
  isn't
• 5:41
  what
• 5:42
  will
• 5:42
  break
• 5:42
  you.
• 5:43
  It's
• 5:43
  the
• 5:43
  beginning
• 5:44
  of
• 5:44
  you
• 5:44
  finally
• 5:45
  getting
• 5:45
  Free.
• 5:47
  Now,
• 5:47
  I
• 5:47
  want
• 5:47
  to
• 5:47
  give
• 5:48
  you
• 5:48
  three
• 5:48
  questions.
• 5:49
  Not
• 5:49
  to
• 5:49
  answer
• 5:50
  out
• 5:50
  loud
• 5:50
  right
• 5:50
  now,
• 5:51
  but
• 5:51
  to
• 5:51
  take
• 5:51
  them
• 5:51
  with
• 5:52
  you
• 5:52
  to
• 5:52
  sit
• 5:53
  with
• 5:53
  tonight,
• 5:53
  to
• 5:53
  journal
• 5:54
  on,
• 5:54
  to
• 5:55
  let
• 5:55
  simmer.
• 5:56
  Question
• 5:56
  number
• 5:57
  one.
• 5:57
  Ask
• 5:57
  yourself,
• 5:58
  what
• 5:58
  am
• 5:58
  I
• 5:58
  tolerating
• 5:59
  that
• 5:59
  I've
• 6:00
  been
• 6:00
  calling
• 6:00
  something
• 6:01
  else?
• 6:02
  Because
• 6:02
  we're
• 6:02
  so
• 6:03
  good
• 6:03
  at
• 6:03
  rebranding
• 6:04
  our
• 6:04
  tolerance.
• 6:05
  We
• 6:05
  tolerate
• 6:05
  exhaustion
• 6:06
  and
• 6:06
  we'll
• 6:06
  call
• 6:07
  it
• 6:07
  ambition.
• 6:07
  We
• 6:08
  tolerate
• 6:08
  disrespect
• 6:09
  and
• 6:09
  we
• 6:09
  call
• 6:09
  it
• 6:10
  patience.
• 6:11
  We
• 6:11
  tolerate
• 6:11
  playing
• 6:12
  small
• 6:12
  and
• 6:13
  we
• 6:13
  call
• 6:13
  it
• 6:13
  humility.
• 6:14
  I'm
• 6:14
  guilty
• 6:14
  of
• 6:15
  that
• 6:15
  one.
• 6:16
  We
• 6:16
  tolerate
• 6:16
  staying
• 6:17
  stuck
• 6:17
  and
• 6:18
  call
• 6:18
  it
• 6:18
  being
• 6:19
  realistic.
• 6:20
  So
• 6:20
  ask
• 6:20
  yourself,
• 6:21
  what
• 6:21
  is
• 6:21
  it
• 6:22
  really?
• 6:23
  Not
• 6:23
  what
• 6:23
  you've
• 6:23
  been
• 6:23
  calling
• 6:24
  it,
• 6:25
  what
• 6:25
  is
• 6:25
  it
• 6:26
  really?
• 6:27
  Then
• 6:28
  question
• 6:28
  number
• 6:28
  two.
• 6:29
  What
• 6:29
  do
• 6:29
  I
• 6:30
  keep
• 6:30
  saying
• 6:30
  I'm
• 6:30
  going
• 6:30
  to
• 6:31
  do
• 6:31
  but
• 6:31
  keep
• 6:32
  finding
• 6:32
  reasons
• 6:33
  not
• 6:33
  to
• 6:33
  do?
• 6:34
  The
• 6:34
  business
• 6:35
  idea
• 6:35
  you've
• 6:35
  been
• 6:36
  sitting
• 6:36
  on,
• 6:37
  the
• 6:37
  boundary
• 6:37
  you
• 6:38
  keep
• 6:38
  meaning
• 6:39
  to
• 6:39
  set,
• 6:40
  the
• 6:40
  conversation
• 6:41
  you
• 6:41
  keep
• 6:41
  rehearsing
• 6:42
  but
• 6:42
  never
• 6:43
  having.
• 6:44
  The
• 6:44
  application
• 6:45
  you
• 6:45
  haven't
• 6:45
  sent,
• 6:46
  the
• 6:46
  ask
• 6:47
  you
• 6:47
  keep
• 6:47
  swallowing.
• 6:49
  What
• 6:49
  is
• 6:49
  waiting
• 6:50
  for
• 6:50
  you
• 6:50
  on
• 6:50
  the
• 6:51
  other
• 6:51
  side
• 6:51
  of
• 6:51
  your
• 6:51
  own
• 6:52
  hesitation?
• 6:54
  And
• 6:54
  question
• 6:55
  number
• 6:55
  three.
• 6:56
  What
• 6:56
  would
• 6:56
  I
• 6:56
  do
• 6:56
  right
• 6:57
  now
• 6:57
  if
• 6:57
  I
• 6:57
  wasn't
• 6:58
  afraid
• 6:58
  of
• 6:58
  the
• 6:59
  outcome?
• 7:00
  Don't
• 7:00
  overthink
• 7:01
  that
• 7:01
  one.
• 7:01
  Don't
• 7:02
  analyze
• 7:02
  it.
• 7:02
  The
• 7:03
  very
• 7:03
  first
• 7:03
  thing
• 7:03
  that
• 7:04
  comes
• 7:04
  to
• 7:04
  mind
• 7:04
  when
• 7:05
  you
• 7:05
  ask,
• 7:05
  ask
• 7:05
  yourself
• 7:06
  the
• 7:06
  question.
• 7:07
  That's
• 7:07
  your
• 7:07
  answer
• 7:08
  and
• 7:08
  that's
• 7:08
  where
• 7:09
  your
• 7:09
  gut
• 7:09
  already
• 7:10
  knows.
• 7:11
  That's
• 7:11
  the
• 7:11
  conversation
• 7:12
  that
• 7:12
  you
• 7:12
  have
• 7:12
  been
• 7:13
  avoiding.
• 7:15
  I
• 7:15
  know
• 7:15
  these
• 7:16
  questions
• 7:16
  are
• 7:16
  not
• 7:16
  comfortable,
• 7:17
  but
• 7:17
  they
• 7:17
  are
• 7:18
  clarifying.
• 7:18
  And
• 7:19
  I
• 7:19
  want
• 7:19
  you
• 7:19
  to
• 7:19
  remember
• 7:20
  something.
• 7:20
  Clarity.
• 7:21
  Even
• 7:22
  when
• 7:22
  it's
• 7:22
  uncomfortable.
• 7:23
  It's
• 7:23
  a
• 7:23
  gift.
• 7:24
  Because
• 7:24
  confusion
• 7:25
  keeps
• 7:25
  you
• 7:25
  stuck
• 7:26
  and
• 7:26
  clarity
• 7:27
  gives
• 7:27
  you
• 7:27
  somewhere
• 7:28
  to
• 7:28
  move.
• 7:29
  Now
• 7:30
  here's
• 7:30
  what
• 7:30
  I
• 7:30
  know
• 7:30
  about
• 7:30
  the
• 7:31
  woman
• 7:31
  who
• 7:31
  walks
• 7:32
  into
• 7:32
  rooms
• 7:33
  differently.
• 7:34
  The
• 7:34
  one
• 7:34
  who
• 7:35
  holds
• 7:35
  standards
• 7:35
  and
• 7:36
  actually
• 7:36
  keeps
• 7:36
  them.
• 7:37
  The
• 7:37
  one
• 7:37
  who
• 7:38
  stops
• 7:38
  shrinking.
• 7:40
  The
• 7:41
  ones
• 7:41
  who
• 7:41
  start
• 7:41
  asking
• 7:42
  for
• 7:42
  what
• 7:42
  they
• 7:42
  want
• 7:42
  and
• 7:43
  believing
• 7:43
  that
• 7:43
  they
• 7:44
  deserve
• 7:44
  to
• 7:44
  receive
• 7:45
  it.
• 7:46
  They
• 7:46
  didn't
• 7:46
  get
• 7:46
  there
• 7:47
  because
• 7:47
  everything
• 7:47
  lined
• 7:48
  up
• 7:48
  perfectly.
• 7:49
  They
• 7:49
  didn't
• 7:50
  get
• 7:50
  there
• 7:50
  because
• 7:50
  timing
• 7:51
  was
• 7:51
  finally
• 7:52
  right.
• 7:53
  They
• 7:53
  got
• 7:53
  there
• 7:53
  because
• 7:53
  at
• 7:54
  some
• 7:54
  point
• 7:54
  they
• 7:54
  stopped
• 7:55
  avoiding
• 7:55
  themselves.
• 7:57
  They
• 7:57
  sat
• 7:58
  down,
• 7:59
  they
• 7:59
  asked
• 7:59
  the
• 7:59
  hard
• 8:00
  questions.
• 8:00
  They
• 8:01
  let
• 8:01
  the
• 8:01
  answers
• 8:01
  be
• 8:02
  what
• 8:02
  they
• 8:02
  were.
• 8:04
  And
• 8:04
  then
• 8:04
  they
• 8:04
  decided
• 8:05
  to
• 8:05
  do
• 8:05
  something
• 8:05
  about
• 8:06
  it.
• 8:07
  That
• 8:07
  woman
• 8:07
  is
• 8:08
  not
• 8:08
  out
• 8:08
  of
• 8:09
  reach
• 8:09
  for
• 8:09
  you.
• 8:10
  She's
• 8:10
  not
• 8:10
  a
• 8:10
  different
• 8:11
  type
• 8:11
  of
• 8:11
  woman.
• 8:12
  She's
• 8:12
  not
• 8:12
  someone
• 8:12
  with
• 8:13
  fewer
• 8:13
  problems,
• 8:14
  fewer
• 8:14
  fears,
• 8:14
  or
• 8:15
  a
• 8:15
  better
• 8:15
  starting
• 8:16
  point.
• 8:17
  She's
• 8:17
  you
• 8:18
  after
• 8:19
  the
• 8:19
  conversation.
• 8:20
  She's
• 8:20
  you
• 8:21
  after
• 8:22
  you
• 8:22
  stop
• 8:22
  looking
• 8:23
  away.
• 8:23
  She's
• 8:24
  already
• 8:24
  in
• 8:24
  there.
• 8:25
  She's
• 8:25
  just
• 8:25
  waiting
• 8:26
  on
• 8:26
  you
• 8:26
  to
• 8:26
  be
• 8:27
  honest
• 8:27
  with
• 8:27
  with
• 8:28
  her.
• 8:30
  Know
• 8:30
  this
• 8:30
  at
• 8:30
  home.
• 8:31
  And
• 8:31
  if
• 8:31
  those
• 8:31
  three
• 8:32
  questions
• 8:32
  stir
• 8:32
  something
• 8:33
  in
• 8:33
  you
• 8:33
  that
• 8:33
  you
• 8:33
  have
• 8:34
  been
• 8:34
  pushing
• 8:34
  down,
• 8:35
  I
• 8:35
  want
• 8:35
  you
• 8:35
  to
• 8:36
  know
• 8:36
  that
• 8:36
  is
• 8:36
  not
• 8:36
  an
• 8:37
  accident.
• 8:37
  That's
• 8:38
  you
• 8:38
  finally
• 8:39
  ready,
• 8:40
  and
• 8:40
  you
• 8:40
  don't
• 8:41
  have
• 8:41
  to
• 8:41
  figure
• 8:41
  out
• 8:41
  what
• 8:42
  to
• 8:42
  do
• 8:42
  with
• 8:42
  that
• 8:42
  alone.
• 8:43
  Becoming
• 8:44
  her
• 8:44
  unapologetically
• 8:45
  is
• 8:45
  my
• 8:45
  new
• 8:45
  coaching
• 8:46
  program.
• 8:46
  And
• 8:47
  this
• 8:47
  is
• 8:47
  exactly
• 8:48
  the
• 8:48
  work
• 8:48
  that
• 8:48
  we
• 8:49
  do
• 8:49
  together.
• 8:50
  We
• 8:50
  have
• 8:50
  the
• 8:50
  conversations
• 8:51
  that
• 8:51
  you
• 8:51
  have
• 8:51
  been
• 8:52
  avoiding.
• 8:52
  We
• 8:53
  get
• 8:53
  honest
• 8:53
  about
• 8:54
  what
• 8:54
  you
• 8:54
  have
• 8:54
  been
• 8:54
  tolerating,
• 8:55
  what
• 8:55
  it's
• 8:56
  costing
• 8:56
  you
• 8:56
  and
• 8:57
  what
• 8:57
  it
• 8:57
  looks
• 8:58
  like
• 8:58
  to
• 8:58
  actually
• 8:59
  stay
• 8:59
  stop
• 9:00
  settling.
• 9:01
  And
• 9:01
  then
• 9:01
  we
• 9:01
  build
• 9:02
  together
• 9:03
  the
• 9:03
  version
• 9:03
  of
• 9:03
  you
• 9:04
  who
• 9:04
  doesn't
• 9:04
  need
• 9:04
  to
• 9:04
  hide
• 9:05
  herself
• 9:05
  anymore.
• 9:07
  I
• 9:07
  only
• 9:08
  take
• 9:08
  a
• 9:08
  small
• 9:09
  number
• 9:09
  of
• 9:09
  clients
• 9:09
  because
• 9:10
  this
• 9:10
  work
• 9:10
  is
• 9:10
  truly
• 9:11
  personal
• 9:11
  and
• 9:12
  I
• 9:12
  show
• 9:12
  up
• 9:12
  fully
• 9:13
  for
• 9:13
  every
• 9:13
  single
• 9:14
  woman
• 9:14
  that
• 9:15
  I
• 9:15
  work
• 9:15
  with.
• 9:16
  So
• 9:16
  if
• 9:16
  something
• 9:17
  in
• 9:17
  you
• 9:17
  is
• 9:17
  saying
• 9:18
  it's
• 9:18
  time,
• 9:19
  trust
• 9:20
  that
• 9:21
  the
• 9:21
  link
• 9:21
  to
• 9:21
  apply
• 9:21
  will
• 9:22
  be
• 9:22
  in
• 9:22
  the
• 9:22
  show
• 9:22
  notes.
• 9:23
  And
• 9:24
  before
• 9:24
  I
• 9:24
  close
• 9:24
  out
• 9:24
  this
• 9:25
  episode
• 9:26
  and
• 9:26
  you
• 9:26
  go
• 9:26
  back
• 9:26
  to
• 9:26
  your
• 9:27
  day,
• 9:27
  I
• 9:27
  want
• 9:28
  you
• 9:28
  to
• 9:28
  do
• 9:28
  one
• 9:29
  thing.
• 9:30
  Just
• 9:31
  one
• 9:31
  thing.
• 9:32
  Pick
• 9:33
  one
• 9:33
  of
• 9:33
  those
• 9:33
  three
• 9:34
  questions
• 9:35
  and
• 9:35
  actually
• 9:36
  sit
• 9:36
  with
• 9:36
  it
• 9:36
  today.
• 9:37
  Not
• 9:37
  for
• 9:38
  hours,
• 9:39
  not
• 9:39
  for
• 9:39
  a
• 9:39
  whole
• 9:39
  journaling
• 9:40
  session,
• 9:41
  just
• 9:41
  five
• 9:41
  minutes.
• 9:42
  You
• 9:42
  owe
• 9:43
  yourself
• 9:43
  that
• 9:43
  much.
• 9:44
  Because
• 9:44
  the
• 9:45
  hard
• 9:45
  conversation
• 9:46
  that
• 9:46
  you've
• 9:46
  been
• 9:46
  avoiding,
• 9:47
  it's
• 9:48
  not
• 9:48
  your
• 9:48
  enemy,
• 9:49
  it's
• 9:49
  the
• 9:49
  door.
• 9:50
  And
• 9:50
  on
• 9:50
  the
• 9:51
  other
• 9:51
  side
• 9:51
  is
• 9:52
  the
• 9:52
  version
• 9:52
  of
• 9:52
  you
• 9:52
  that
• 9:53
  you
• 9:53
  have
• 9:53
  been
• 9:53
  waiting
• 9:54
  on.
• 9:55
  You
• 9:55
  got
• 9:55
  this
• 9:56
  with
• 9:57
  love.
• 9:58
  There.